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Honky Kong
  • 6/6/2025
Original Broadcast Date: April 16th 2014

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TV
Transcript
00:00The ABC would like to apologize.
00:30Folks, I just want to say this is the last episode of the series and I want to end on a positive note.
00:50So no stories tonight that made me as mad as hell this week.
00:53Just stories that made me, one hates to use the word, but how could one avoid it?
00:58Happy, I guess.
01:00Positive, feel-good stories that celebrate the human spirit and fill us all with kind of joy.
01:05Now you're probably thinking, well, you're going to have to pad the show out because there's not too many of those stories on the news ever.
01:10Well, obviously we had to dig a little deeper than usual and do our own reporting.
01:14For example, and I'm not sure if any of you picked this one up because the papers and TV have been pretty quiet about it,
01:19but Prince William and the Duchess of Cambridge and their baby arrived in Australia today.
01:24Our royal watcher Gay March is camped over at their Sydney hotel.
01:28Gay, any sight of the royal couple or the royal infant?
01:32Sadly, not as yet, Sean, but I have got my fingers and toes crossed and everything in between.
01:40Gay, can I, I can't help noticing you've actually managed to find your way into the hotel.
01:44Yeah, that's right, Sean.
01:46I snuck in disguised as a maid, stole the master key and broke my way into Kate and Will's suite.
01:53Yeah, reminds me of the good old days when I used to work for News of the World.
01:57Oh, yeah, Sean, I got quite the exclusive when I crashed David Beckham's wedding night disguised as posh.
02:04Yeah, is that Kate Middleton's dress you're wearing?
02:08Well, I didn't want them to see me and my maids out for when we come back from the opera house, Sean,
02:12so it was either this or George's onesie.
02:16Yeah, well, no, no, no, no.
02:17Oh, I could have tried Will's naval uniform, couldn't I?
02:21No, no, that's fine.
02:22Or I could have done the interview and the nuddy would have been used to after them New Zealanders, wouldn't they?
02:27No, no, Gay, no, no, no, Gay, that's, that's, that's, no, that, kill the feed, kill the feed, kill the feed.
02:36The, the ABC would like to apologise for what you just saw.
02:41But there was some news this week that did cause us concern and it would be folly to ignore it.
02:46As websites around the world
02:50scramble to protect themselves from the heartbleed
02:52encryption bug, even television news
02:54coverage of the story has caused issues.
02:56Check out this shit from the normally reliable
02:58ABC News.
02:59Which leaves the door open for hackers to
03:02steal your username and password,
03:04log back in as you, and
03:06steal your cash.
03:08Seems innocent enough, doesn't it? But sir,
03:10you've lodged a complaint with
03:12Media Watch, Backchat, the
03:14Dr Blake Mysteries about that report. Why?
03:16Why is that? Well, I'm John Smith.
03:18Alright, I see. And what's your
03:20password? It's nine asterisks.
03:25And
03:26what happened after this report was aired?
03:28Well, my savings account was completely
03:30cleaned out. And has this ever
03:32happened before? Most days.
03:35Have you
03:36changed your password since that report was
03:38aired? No, I have not.
03:40Perhaps you should, and to something
03:42more secure than just nine asterisks.
03:45Yeah, well,
03:46we're all experts with the benefits of
03:48hindsight, aren't we, Mr.
03:50bloody
03:50knowing things man?
03:52Mr. Smith, you've left
04:00your wallet.
04:09Sorry about that.
04:10Well, from cyber world problems
04:11to real world ones now.
04:14And the Royal Commission into Trade Union
04:15Governance and Corruption began last week,
04:17and it seems to be going pretty well.
04:18Although I am a little troubled by the name.
04:21Royal Commission into Trade Union
04:22Governance would have done it, wouldn't it?
04:24Putting
04:24and corruption in the title sort of
04:26assumes that's part of the trade union's
04:28official duties.
04:30Mind you, maybe that's not too far from the truth.
04:32On the other hand,
04:45there are those like
04:47the ACTU secretary
04:49who are calling it a witch hunt,
04:50but not Kathy Jackson from the
04:52health services union.
04:54It's not a witch hunt.
04:55If anything, it's a vampire hunt.
04:56Well, I'm not sure she's right, though.
05:01At least with a witch hunt,
05:02you get a trial.
05:04Isn't that right, Professor
05:05Ian Orbspider?
05:06Yes, that's right, Sean.
05:12Oh, that's...
05:13So it's a little earlier than usual.
05:19That's a great pity.
05:20Well, thank you very much, Professor Ian.
05:22Well, what other...
05:23In answer to your question, Sean.
05:26A vampire hunt is a very quiet affair,
05:30usually taking place at night
05:32when no one's looking.
05:34So for Ms. Jackson's analogy to work,
05:38the union movement would have to be asleep
05:40and the Royal Commission
05:42would have to be sneaking up on it
05:44Van Helsing style
05:45and then hammer a stake through its heart.
05:49The irony, of course,
05:51is that using a hammer
05:52for that sort of major work
05:54would require someone to be there
05:56from the CFMEU.
05:58Yes, and didn't Mr Abbott
06:01say that the Royal Commission
06:02would shine a great big spotlight
06:05into the dark corners of our community?
06:10Now, vampires don't like light, do they?
06:12They are a little photosensitive, yes, Sean.
06:16The vampires are nocturnal creatures
06:20like badgers, possums, owls, ocelots,
06:23hermit crabs, raccoons, gerbils, beavers,
06:26slugs, dwarf crocodiles
06:28and Panamanian night monkeys.
06:31And, of course, bats.
06:33Oh, there's a separate Royal Commission
06:36looking into bats, Sean.
06:37Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
06:46Thank you very much.
06:47Thank you, Professor Ian.
06:51But if trade unions, then,
06:53are witches or vampires,
06:54what are the problems
06:55being described in the media
06:57might we liken to werewolves?
06:59At the G20 Finance Minister ball
07:01earlier this year,
07:02Joe Hockey ruled out
07:03the global economy as being a werewolf by saying there was no silver bullet for global
07:08economic growth. And also not a werewolf, apparently, at least according to the Sydney
07:12Morning Herald, is our national carrier, with investors saying an easing of foreign ownership
07:16restrictions won't be a silver bullet to end its metaphorical, or perhaps actual, murderous
07:21rampages. Mind you, mind you, Green Senator Sarah Hansen-Young has another theory. She
07:27thinks the werewolf is the so-called random violence in our society, although she believes
07:32needs to be a variety of responses. And I don't think there's one silver bullet to any of
07:38this. Although it's an important point, isn't it? If we're going to have any chance of shooting
07:43violence to death in our society, a single bullet is not going to do it. You're going
07:48to need a clip or maybe a belt. Anyway, still to come. Brawling in Ukrainian parliament leads
07:57to cause for 2pm lockouts. And royal offspring, undeniably cute, though this wears off after
08:05a few years.
08:10Now, I've been trying to find some positives about the May budget. I mean, let's face it,
08:15none of us like austerity measures. But as Rome, Athens and Paris have taught us, if you
08:19don't like what the government are doing, there are ways of dealing with these things.
08:32Yes. Well done, Europe. Now, personally, I think a lot of what Joe Hockey's got planned
08:41is good news for some people. For example, he's planning on raising the aged pension. The
08:45bad news is, the bid he's raising is the age you're entitled to it. 70 is the new 65. But
08:51Liberal Senator Zed Salon-Neumann explained the logic behind the change.
08:56The pension, of course, was set up, and the pension age was set up at a time when the life
09:00expectancy was around 65 years.
09:03All right. So the idea has always been to make people eligible for the aged pension when
09:11they're due to die. So that not a lot of money would actually have to be paid out. Now, because
09:16of irresponsible medical advances, we're due to die a bit later. So it stands to reason that we
09:21need to push the eligibility age up so it's closer to the actual date of death. And the pension
09:26monies can be used instead to plug up typical Labor's $123 billion black hole. You can't say
09:32fairer than that, can you?
09:37Right. But it's not as if the budget's unfairly targeting the old. It's also unfairly targeting
09:42the young. According to the Grattan Institute, unpaid student loans will cost the Fed government
09:471.1 bill this year. That's enough dollar coins to fill 1.54 Olympic-sized swimming pools.
09:53And let me be the first, if not the only, voice on the soon to also be unfairly targeted
09:59ABC to say, bravo, trust Abbott government for having the guts to finally do something
10:05about these so-called students. Three years tossing a frisbee around outside the library
10:10with a taxpayer footing the bill, only to graduate, get elected to parliament, and then years later
10:14deal with a generation of kids who for some reason think they shouldn't have to pay for
10:18their tertiary education. But how to get blood from these stoners. Not only do most of them
10:25not have any money, no doubt blowing it all on beard trimmers and ironic t-shirts, but
10:29a lot of them have moved overseas. A lot of them have moved overseas probably on some sort
10:35of gap year drug mule sex holiday. It's been suggested though that debt collectors be sent
10:42abroad to hunt them down, or if they're already dead.
10:45This is where the issue of the deceased estate comes in. Most of these people are actually
10:51in reasonably affluent households. They're the second income earners in the house. And
10:56so they will have a share in the family household assets that would otherwise eventually probably
11:01go to their children, but a small part of it would go to repay the help debt.
11:06Yeah, yeah, yeah, fair enough. I mean, there's no point those pennies on their eyes going to waste,
11:11and it's a...
11:12It is about time that students came to the party and contributed something apart from a
11:17lungful of bong smoke.
11:20Fair enough. Senior lecturer in unpaid student loans, Geraldine Kinwanyute.
11:25Sean, as Joe Hockey says, we'll have to do some heavy lifting to get the budget in surplus,
11:29even if it means pushing up daisies.
11:32How do you, uh...
11:33How do you personally intend to pay back your Hex debt?
11:37Well, as a full-time teacher, currently I don't earn above the threshold to start repaying my Hex.
11:42So I don't think I ever will, unless I get a decent job.
11:44What about the Grattan Institute's idea to send debt collectors overseas to extract money
11:48from offshore ex-student layabouts?
11:51Oh, debt collector?
11:52Hmm.
11:52Well, the trip would be lovely, but I think trying to evade myself the whole time would spoil the holiday.
11:58Well, Geraldine, thank you very much for coming, and please accept, with our compliments,
12:02a complete bathroom makeover from our good friends at Manus Island Bathrooms.
12:06Bathrooms...
12:06Bathrooms for everyone, often at the same time.
12:15But it's not just young and old alike that are doing it tough.
12:18The government is putting their own head on the efficiency dividend block.
12:21Australian Customs has just axed 100 jobs, which is perfectly logical, in my view,
12:26because, given what's happening to the manufacturing industry over here,
12:29axing jobs would definitely come under the definition of Australian Customs.
12:40But again, let's be positive, all right? Let's be positive.
12:43At least the retail industry is doing well, as a slightly overacting Ricardo Gonsalves from SBS explains.
12:48But don't forget the good stories out there.
12:52Earlier this year, Coles, for example, said it would hire 16,000 people over the next few years.
12:58Woolies, 7,000 this financial year.
13:01Apparently, most of the Coles jobs will be in the residential building sector,
13:05repairing holes predicted to be kicked and punched through walls
13:07by viewers subjected to the prices are down jingle one time to many.
13:10But the big hope, of course, is that these 23,000 new jobs
13:15can absorb some of the job losses from Ford, Holden and Toyota.
13:18And if they do, maybe there's hope that either Coles or Woolworths
13:21can finally produce a trolley with power steering.
13:25Now, with the ABC facing a $22.5 million cut to its budget come May,
13:30it's only programs that don't connect with the audience that need worry.
13:33That's why I'm pleased to announce our new segment,
13:36Logical Syllogisms at Play in the National Consciousness.
13:42Tony Abbott says Australia is open for business.
13:45James Packer is a businessman.
13:47Therefore, Tony Abbott is open for James Packer.
13:51For his part, Mr Packer is a big fan of our Prime Minister.
13:55Tony Abbott recently took Mr Packer on an overseas trip.
13:58Therefore, Tony Abbott and James Packer are totally in love.
14:02Well, well, well, not so fast.
14:04Not so fast.
14:05Not so fast.
14:06Aristotle would, I think, have something to say about that.
14:09Yes, I have plenty to say on that subject, Sean.
14:12Ooh, my clothes have just fallen off.
14:16Hi, Mr Aristotle.
14:17Fancy meeting you here.
14:19Biff, get away from him this instant.
14:23OK, now...
14:24Now, let's take this thing slowly.
14:26Let's see where it leads us, all right?
14:27We've been hurt before.
14:29For anything to come of this relationship,
14:30the PM has to agree to James Packer's request
14:32to relax visa rules,
14:34which would make it easier for Chinese tourists
14:36to visit Australia.
14:37And, incidentally, good on James Packer
14:39for supporting the local tourism industry,
14:41particularly the all-important croupier sector.
14:44As a proud Aussie,
14:45he knows how much this country has to offer Chinese visitors.
14:49From the sweeping, windswept majesty
14:50of Melbourne's Crown Casino
14:52to the rugged, natural beauty of Crown Perth
14:54to the picture postcard vistas
14:57offered by Barangaroo,
14:58future site of Crown Sydney.
15:00That's why it's so hard for asylum seekers
15:02to get any kind of visa,
15:04because unlike the burgeoning Chinese middle class,
15:06they've got absolutely nothing to lose.
15:11But the detail behind the recent flurry
15:13of free trade agreements
15:14is all pretty dense, dry old stuff.
15:16Flournoy Quimby from advertising giant
15:18Begbo and Plagiarise.
15:20How would you, as a young ad exec
15:22with his finger on the pulse of the zeitgeist,
15:24sell the message of, say,
15:26the Japanese free trade agreement
15:28to us, the Aussie TV sitting in front of public?
15:31Sean, it's like when I did
15:32the Ronda and Katut ads for Double AMI.
15:34Oh, they were yours, were they?
15:36Yes, they are.
15:39Actually, I don't mind those.
15:41Well, it's the same thing
15:42with the Japanese trade agreement.
15:43By engaging the end-using clickbait consumoid
15:46on an emotional mezzanine,
15:48you can tease out the implications of the FTA
15:50with some level of sophistication.
15:52I see.
15:53Roll it, tape boy.
15:54It's the Japan-Australia free trade agreement.
15:57Tariffs on meat. Slash.
15:59On cars and electrical equipment. Slash.
16:01On harpoons. Slash.
16:02They can't use the bloody things anymore.
16:04On cheese and dairy.
16:06Dairy, not diary.
16:08Tariffs on cheese and dairy.
16:09Unchanged.
16:10On rice and sugar.
16:11Same, completely lopsided in their favour.
16:13Arrangement.
16:14The Japan-Australia free trade agreement.
16:15Hurry.
16:15Truly significant cuts to beef tariffs.
16:17Not available for 18 years.
16:19And depends on the Senate passing it anyway.
16:22But this wasn't just a tacky commercial exercise.
16:26This was about building genuine friendships.
16:28Friends, after all.
16:31Don't visit each other because they need to,
16:35but because they want to.
16:37And that's more good news for our economy.
16:45Because if the Prime Minister didn't need to go to Japan on business,
16:48but just wanted to go there,
16:49that means he won't be claiming any travel expenses for the trip.
16:53And the, um...
16:54Well done, Mr Abbott.
16:56But the true brilliance of this suite of agreements, though,
17:03was in the planning.
17:04Timing was critical.
17:06Thankfully, the government wrapped up the complete demise of our car industry
17:08just in time for there not to be one for the removal of the tariffs to effect.
17:12It was a very, very canny of Tony Abbott,
17:15and no wonder the North Koreans were so keen to get a picture of his brain.
17:22But let's not forget that while Mr Abbott was in Asia making friends
17:26and inviting the Chinese military to come over and try the place on for size,
17:29Australia wasn't exactly running itself.
17:32No, there was a steady hand on the tiller.
17:34And the ABC doesn't forget that.
17:36Or watch you to, either.
17:39Did you know that this man was once acting Prime Minister of Australia?
17:43His name is Warren Trust.
17:45The ABC Mobile Historical Unit will be out and about in your community soon
17:50to record first-person impressions of life under trust during last week.
17:54Share your stories of the National Party leader
17:57who many have come to know as the Minister for Regional Development,
18:00but for seven days while Tony Abbott was on his free trade mission
18:03kept watch over us when we were least aware.
18:07The Trust Bus is your chance to be heard
18:09so that this chapter in our nation's past
18:11is not lost to the battlefield of the history walls.
18:13Your recording will be digitised and stored at the National Archives
18:17for generations to come and find.
18:20Come on, participate.
18:26To help celebrate the centenary of World War,
18:29Aunty is proud to present an encore re-screening
18:31of one of the great war films of all time.
18:34Colonel Saito, the use of officers for manual labour
18:38is expressly forbidden under the Geneva Convention.
18:40I have my copy here, if you'd care to glance through it.
18:43Do not speak to me of rules.
18:46This is a war, not a game of a cricket.
18:49The Academy Award-winning Bridge and River Kwai
18:53honours the futility of war.
18:55Drink?
18:56No, thank you.
18:57Although may I say, Colonel Saito,
18:59that your impression of a Japanese stereotype
19:01is, even in this day and age, extraordinarily offensive.
19:04But you are also doing an accent?
19:08No, no, I'm doing an impression of Alec Guinness.
19:11These aren't the droids you're looking for, you see.
19:14You're just doing an insulting Asian caricature.
19:18Chris Lilley does it.
19:19No, no, Chris Lilley's exempt from criticism
19:21because he's successful overseas.
19:24How about if I put on a dress?
19:26No, I don't think that'd make any difference.
19:27I could break up.
19:29Look, you'd need to be funded by HBO, wouldn't you?
19:31Bridge on the River Kwai, special edition.
19:34Anzac Day on your ABC1.
19:37Maybe you'd send a letter to them.
19:39Mmm, delicious.
19:41We're back in the present now,
19:43and it's good to see the Labour Party
19:44has finally put all their old internal disputes
19:46and bickering behind them
19:47and have started afresh with new internal disputes
19:49and bickering, like federal MP Michael Danby
19:52calling Bob Carr a bigot,
19:54Bob Carr calling Kevin Rudd a tone-deaf campaigner,
19:58and Wayne Swan calling Rudd a madman.
20:01Labour MPs are rounding on Bob Carr
20:03after the publication of his memoirs,
20:05accusing the former foreign minister
20:07of narcissism, immaturity, self-indulgence and bigotry.
20:11Personally, if I were Mr Carr,
20:13I would have chosen better quotes
20:14for the cover of the book, but...
20:16Having said that, you do get your money's worth.
20:20It really does make Diary of a Wimpy Kid
20:22look lightweight by comparison.
20:24Though I think it's always unfortunate
20:25when workmates turn on each other,
20:27and when I say turn on each other,
20:29I don't mean that in a disgusting way.
20:31I mean that in a wholesome,
20:33now that I'm out of politics,
20:35I can say what I really think of you kind of way.
20:37Now, I've not had time to read Bob's book.
20:39I'm still trying to get through
20:40The Luminaries by Eleanor Catton.
20:43And so far, I'm up to the Library of Congress catalogue number,
20:46and I've got to tell you,
20:47it's absolutely fascinating.
20:49So what I thought we'd do instead
20:50is cross live to ABC2's first Wednesday night's
20:54Remainded Book Club instead.
21:01And joining us tonight are
21:04unemployed dog polisher Larry Sideburns,
21:08retired grit blaster Lionel Prong,
21:10and character from the first series in 2012,
21:13Xanthi Kalamazoo.
21:15Larry, if I could just start with you first.
21:17Did you enjoy reading Bob Carr's Diary of a Foreign Minister?
21:20No, I didn't.
21:21I thought we were doing
21:22Cory Bernardi's The Conservative Revolution.
21:24So I didn't enjoy that instead.
21:26All right.
21:28Very interesting.
21:29Xanthi, what did you make of Bob Carr's book?
21:32Oh, I made this beautiful paper mache swan, Sean.
21:37Fantastic.
21:40It is lovely, lovely, Xanthi.
21:42What about you, Lionel Prong?
21:44Sean, Mr Carr's been accused, unfairly in my view,
21:47of being a bit of a prima donna
21:48because of some of the complaints he made about airlines.
21:51Read the food and the lack of on-board Bob Carr statues and so on.
21:55But one of his complaints, in my view,
21:57will surely resonate with all of us who have ever flown anywhere.
22:00The lack of English subtitles on the in-flight Wagnerian operas.
22:03I mean, typical tiger air.
22:07All right.
22:07Well, thanks very much, Lionel.
22:09So Bob Carr's Diaries of a Foreign Minister,
22:11available from all good bookshops, as from May.
22:14And, of course, Cory Bernardi's The Conservative Revolution,
22:17also available in all good bookshops.
22:19But I suspect only if Cory left his copy in there accidentally.
22:22Still to come.
22:28Bob Carr demonstrates just how Julia Gillard bowed to the Jewish lobby.
22:34And, oh, yes, sorry about the famine,
22:36Queen tells Irish president during 19-course dinner.
22:42To Germany now, and a small furniture store chain
22:45has admitted that it inadvertently ordered 5,000 coffee cups from China,
22:49each bearing a faint portrait of Adolf Hitler.
22:51The Chinese...
22:54I mean, we've all done it.
22:57The Chinese manufacturer makes no apology for the cup,
23:00saying that, like Hitler, they're designed to be drunk with power.
23:06The, um...
23:10Not too often you get applause for Hitler these days.
23:13The Commonwealth of Australia's number-one ticket holder,
23:16Her Majesty the Queen, has raised eyebrows
23:18several metres above where they should be normally
23:20for the first time ever meeting in Britain with the Irish president.
23:24Also invited to the Queen's State banquet
23:27was former IRA commander Martin McGuinness.
23:30I mean, that's... I mean, that's obviously pretty impressive.
23:32But I think the real test is whether, for the next one,
23:34she can invite Pogue's front man, Shane McGowan.
23:37Then we can believe that all is forgiven.
23:52Excuse me just a moment.
23:53Hello?
23:54Hello? Yes?
23:55All right, yes.
23:56All right, thank you.
23:58I've just had, uh...
23:59Just had word, uh, that we're crossing back live to Kate and Will's hotel room
24:03for this exclusive report from World Watcher Gay March.
24:06Oh, Sean, well, the royal couple have returned from their slap-up lavish meal
24:11at the Opera House.
24:12And from what I've managed to hear through the air,
24:14then, they've just managed to get baby George off to sleep in his portable cart.
24:19Have you been able to talk to the royal couple,
24:21go and ask them what they think of Australia?
24:24Look, I've not had that opportunity yet, Sean,
24:26but Kate and Will's are watching a spot of telly,
24:28and I'm just waiting for the appropriate time
24:30to burst from a bathroom and ask them for an interview.
24:34Maybe, maybe wait until they come in to brush their teeth.
24:37Well, Sean, they are English,
24:38so I can't imagine they'll be doing that.
24:41What are they watching, by the way, Gay?
24:43Is it... Are they watching that as hell?
24:44Hang on, I'll have a look.
24:45OK.
24:50No, it looks like Jamie and Jimmy's food fight club.
24:54Oh, that's unbelievable.
24:56Someone actually watching Channel 10.
24:57All right, thanks very much, Gay.
25:00Well, sport's up next with Maggie Bathysphere.
25:03But first, sport.
25:04Although, before we go, let's cross live to Rio,
25:06where Brazil's crack paramilitary unit
25:08are making sure our commentary box is free of vagrants.
25:11Maggie, big news last week
25:14with triple Olympic champion Stephanie Rice
25:16announcing her retirement, yeah?
25:17Sean, for the amount of money she was getting,
25:19you could slice both my arms off with a rusty spoon
25:21and I'd be down the AIS in the drink 4am every morning.
25:25No worries.
25:26You know she swims in enough water
25:28to fill an Olympic-sized swimming pool.
25:31Mind you, after her win on Celebrity Apprentice last year,
25:35maybe she's got a good business head on her shoulders.
25:37Yeah, it could be.
25:37I mean, anyone who can make money
25:38by posting photos of themselves on Twitter
25:40wearing nothing but racy swimwear
25:42must be doing something right.
25:44Yeah, I'll say.
25:47Thanks very much, Max.
25:50Excuse me.
25:52Hello...
25:53Hello, what? Yes?
25:58Look, we've just had word.
26:01We cross back to Gay March Live now
26:03as she apparently has an exclusive.
26:06Yes, that's right, Sean.
26:08Well, the royal couple have popped down to the bar
26:10for a Pimms and Avacar nightclub,
26:13so I've seized the opportunity
26:15to have a bit of one-on-one time
26:16with the youngest member of the House of Windsor.
26:19Well, Gay, that's quite a coo.
26:21A one-on-one interview with Kate and Will's baby.
26:25Oh, no.
26:26He's my baby now.
26:29Aren't you?
26:31Yes, you are.
26:32Gay?
26:35Gay?
26:35Gay?
26:44Well, I'm not coming up
26:45because we've run out of series.
26:48Illusion of car manufacturing industry
26:50created by Toyota
26:51recalling vehicles
26:52and working on things
26:53they should have got right
26:54in the first place.
26:56Disgraced Labour power broker
26:58Eddie Obeid's seventh appearance
26:59at the Independent Commission
27:00Against Corruption
27:01entitles him
27:02to a free adjournment.
27:05And it just occurs to us
27:07that the election
27:07of Palmer United's Dio Wang
27:09means that the Senate
27:10now has a left-wing Wong
27:11and a right-wing Wang.
27:18Well, finally,
27:18I was flicking through
27:19this month's issue
27:20of Australia's
27:21highest-selling
27:21imprisonment magazine,
27:22Her Majesty's Pleasure,
27:23and I learned that apparently
27:25the Victorian government
27:26has bought another
27:2727 shipping containers
27:28to use as prison cells.
27:30And it occurred to me,
27:31why don't we just set up
27:32a detention centre
27:33with these things
27:33at the docks?
27:34Because then,
27:35after five or six years,
27:36when we've rejected
27:36their applications
27:37for refugee status,
27:38we could just load them
27:39straight onto a cargo ship
27:41and then export them
27:42to, say, I don't know,
27:43Cambodia,
27:44assuming, of course,
27:45we can get them
27:45to cut their asylum seeker tariff.
27:47Well, until next time,
27:49maybe, depending on the May budget,
27:51goodbye, and remember,
27:52the world really is,
27:54oh, how can I say this
27:55without sounding corny
27:56and prosaic?
27:58Um, nothing prepared.
28:00It's a beautiful world
28:11we live in
28:13A sweet romantic place
28:16Beautiful people everywhere
28:19The way they show they care
28:22Makes me want to say
28:25It's a beautiful world
28:27Beautiful world
28:28It's a beautiful world
28:30Beautiful world
28:32It's a beautiful world
28:33Beautiful world
28:35For you
28:36For you
28:39For you
28:42It's a wonderful time to be here
28:50It's nice to be alive
28:53Wonderful people everywhere
28:56The way they comb their hair
29:00Makes me want to say
29:02It's a wonderful place
29:05It's a wonderful place
29:08It's a wonderful place
29:11For you
29:13For you
29:16For you
29:19Jive, baby
29:22And congratulations to the winner
29:29Of our non-deliberate mistake competition
29:31Mr Barry O'Farrell of Sydney
29:33You'll be receiving in the post very soon
29:35A bottle of AWH Spumanti
29:37A premier full bodies of buried sparkling wine
29:40With a cheeky sour aftertaste
29:41That'll come back and bite you on the bum
29:42Available in the wine section of all good AWH Spumanti