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  • 6/29/2025
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00:00Previously on Desperate Housewives...
00:03We have some serious problems that are going to require serious work.
00:08Lynette and Tom struggled with their separation.
00:11Mike heard a confession.
00:13I killed Gabby's stepfather.
00:16And me and the girls helped cover it up.
00:19That could change his life with Susan forever.
00:23Bree showed Gabby the note.
00:25Let's say someone knows.
00:27I say until they tell us what they want, we just...
00:29Act like everything's normal.
00:31And decided she needed to end her relationship with Detective Vance.
00:36You know, Bree, I would have done anything for you.
00:41You have made a very big mistake.
00:52It's often said that children learn their most important lessons outside the classroom.
00:59They learn to find peaceful ways to resolve conflict.
01:04To make smart choices about nutrition.
01:09To master the art of conversation.
01:11But for Gabrielle Solis, the art of morning drop-off...
01:19What's taking so long? Come on, let's go!
01:22...was something she'd never learn.
01:24Beep, beep, beep.
01:25You slow down, push the kid out, and drive off.
01:28Why is this so hard?
01:29You realize I have to go to this school, right?
01:32Oh, come on.
01:33I'm behind the wheelchair, kid?
01:35That's it, Juanita. Get out.
01:36I'm not allowed until we get to the green zone, and a volunteer opens the door.
01:39Remember what happened last week?
01:40Yeah.
01:41Last week I made it to my hot stone massage.
01:43Just keep your head down.
01:44Pretend I can't speak English and run.
01:45Hold it!
02:05Hi, Dana. I didn't see you there.
02:07Looks like someone didn't learn her lesson the last two times she broke the drop-off rules.
02:12Three strikes, Elise.
02:14You're out.
02:15What?
02:16Hey!
02:17I need that!
02:18Your drop-off privileges have been revoked.
02:20From now on, you'll be parking in the B-lot and walking while needed to class.
02:23The B-lot?
02:24That's like a mile away.
02:25These don't walk.
02:27They do now.
02:28Oh, yeah?
02:28Well, who died and made you boss?
02:30Margaret Fry.
02:31Cancer.
02:33Oh, right.
02:34I still owe for those flowers.
02:36Oh, relax, Pam.
02:38You'll still make it to Weight Watchers.
02:39Problem here, Dana?
02:40Oh, great.
02:41Now the pips are here.
02:42It's Elise again.
02:43She's holding up traffic.
02:45Yeah, and I'm not moving until you give me back my placard.
02:48Oh, Pam, eat a carrot!
02:50Tell you what.
02:51If you can take the placard from me, you can keep it.
02:54You know what?
02:57I'm not a child.
02:58I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of stuff.
03:05Oh!
03:07You know what, Dana?
03:08Just because you're a head of PTA doesn't mean you get to make the laws.
03:11Oh, I have news for you.
03:12Here at Oak Ridge, I am the law.
03:13I'm not going to give you the law.
03:15Yes, some of our most important lessons are learned outside the classroom.
03:21And when it came to school politics, Gabrielle's education was just beginning.
03:27When it came to her separation, Lynette Scavo was determined to do everything by the book.
03:45She made sure her visitation days were evenly divided.
03:51She kept perfect records of her household expenses.
03:56She found healthy ways to relieve her stress.
04:01Yes, Lynette was confident her by-the-book approach was the right one.
04:05Sadly, not everyone was on the same page.
04:09Well, look who cleaned up his sad sack aisle at the bookstore.
04:13At least your divorce is good for the publishing industry.
04:15We're not using the D word.
04:17It's a separation.
04:18Tom and I are going to heal through counseling.
04:22So we can find a road to reconnection.
04:26And if not, murder on the Orient Express.
04:31Penny?
04:33Your dad's here.
04:34Explain something to me.
04:36If you're trying to win back your husband, why do you dress like you sell oranges by the freeway?
04:40Hey, sorry I'm late.
04:42I haven't stuck with the store and took longer than I expected.
04:45Because you taught you to all put your car?
04:48Ha ha.
04:51It's just a teeth whitener.
04:54Teeth whitening, huh?
04:55And unless sweatsuits are the new business casual, it looks like you're working out, too.
05:00I'm trying.
05:01It helps cheer me up when the kids aren't around.
05:03Daddy!
05:05I'm going to get Parker at practice.
05:07I love you.
05:08Have fun.
05:08Come at your dad's.
05:09Bye.
05:09Drive safe.
05:16I've got a new book title for you.
05:18Your husband's banging somebody.
05:21What?
05:23Chapter one, white teeth.
05:25Chapter two, working out.
05:27Chapter three, the nasty.
05:30He's just trying to take better care of himself.
05:33Oh, Lynette.
05:34I expect you to be naive about hair, makeup, and fashion.
05:37But about this?
05:38Trust me.
05:40Tom has hooked up.
05:41He's not.
05:42He's not.
05:42If he was dating someone, he would tell me.
05:48He would.
05:51Right?
05:52Right?
05:52That doesn't look too suspicious.
06:08I'm sorry.
06:14Just every time I check the mail, I'm afraid it's going to be another one of those letters.
06:17It's been three weeks.
06:18Maybe we're out of the woods.
06:20Please don't say woods.
06:21I'm just saying, if someone was trying to blackmail us, they're not very good at it.
06:24Since they haven't asked for money or anything.
06:26Well, what happened to them?
06:27Did they just disappear?
06:29If we're lucky.
06:30Now that Chuck the cop is out of your life, Susan's acting normal, I think we're in the clear.
06:36Good.
06:37Here they are.
06:39Oh, Danielle and Benjamin.
06:42Fun.
06:42What's the occasion?
06:44Her husband left her.
06:45Oh, okay.
06:46Well, I'd stay and say hi, but that would involve a lot of listening and sad nodding.
06:51Oh, honey, I am so sorry about you and Leo.
06:55Thanks, Mom.
06:55Not that I didn't see it coming.
06:58That didn't take long.
06:59Neither did the marriage.
07:01So how are you holding up?
07:02My husband left me.
07:03It sucks.
07:05But you know how that feels.
07:07You just got dumped by that cop, right?
07:10Um, actually, I am the one who ended it with Chuck.
07:14He wanted to marry me, bought me a ring.
07:16But that's not important.
07:19This week...
07:20Our week's is about you.
07:24We are going to make a plan to put your life back together.
07:26A plan, Mom.
07:27This all just happened.
07:28Give me a few days to eat ice cream and veg out.
07:32Of course, honey.
07:33I promised you on your wedding day that I would be here when he left you.
07:38You know what?
07:39Maybe we'll just crash on Andrew's floor.
07:41What?
07:41That's so uncomfortable.
07:42Not as bad as staying here and getting picked apart by you.
07:45I promise I won't criticize you.
07:50Besides, if you sleep on Andrew's floor, you'll need a tetanus shot.
07:54What?
07:55I said I wouldn't criticize you.
07:56I didn't say anything about your brother.
07:57Okay, I know that last night I said you could take all the time you need to work through what Carlos and I told you.
08:15But while you're taking all the time you need, do you think you could maybe tell me that you still love me?
08:24I mean, if you still love me.
08:27There is nothing you could do that would make me stop loving you.
08:37Mike, it was so hard to keep this from you.
08:40Like the hardest thing I've ever done.
08:42Well, at least I understand why you've been so distant.
08:46And to be honest, I'm kind of relieved you weren't having an affair.
08:50Well, now that you know, I just want everything to go back to normal.
08:53Okay, but I hope you realize it might not be that easy.
09:02Take it from a guy who's done things like this, they don't just disappear.
09:08Yeah, I know that.
09:10But I think if I focus on other stuff and move on with my life, it'll be okay.
09:17Great.
09:17And, first step, taking a painting class at the college.
09:24It's being taught by Andre Zeller.
09:28Okay, that means nothing to you.
09:30It's like I'm taking a football class from Peyton Manning.
09:34Whoa!
09:36It's just what I need.
09:37I think it'll be a great way to take my mind off everything that's happened.
09:40So, I'm going to get my portfolio together.
09:44Mr. Zeller has to approve all his students.
09:46Not that I'm worried.
09:47Oh, and Mike.
09:49From now on, I swear.
09:52No more secrets between us.
10:02Is that my school?
10:03The tiny little building way down there?
10:06It would have been faster if we just walked from home.
10:07Hey!
10:10First time in the B-lot, huh?
10:13Welcome.
10:14What are you in for?
10:15Practically nothing.
10:16I let my kid get out of the car by herself.
10:18Oof.
10:19Dana, take your placard.
10:21Yeah, but I'll get it back in a day or two.
10:24Are you kidding?
10:26She'll have you in here for the rest of the year.
10:28What?
10:29She can't do that.
10:30Oh, you want to bet?
10:31I took a cell phone call in the green zone.
10:34That was two months ago.
10:35My kid had peanut butter crackers in his lunchbox.
10:38I'm looking at four to six.
10:40This is crazy.
10:41No, this is Dana.
10:43Dana the painer.
10:44Dana, you better not complainer.
10:46Dana power's dropping me insaneer.
10:49Oh my God, is this what the B-lot does to you?
10:51Bad four kids in the flask in her purse.
10:54Well, if everyone thinks she's such a painer, how'd you get the job?
10:58It's an elected position.
10:59We voted for her.
11:01Well, not me.
11:01I don't vote.
11:03All right, when's the next PTA meeting?
11:05There's one Thursday.
11:07Okay.
11:08I say we band together, storm that meeting, and go all Braveheart on Dana's ass.
11:13Who's with me?
11:16Have you guys not seen Braveheart?
11:18I know it's an old reference, but this is when you go,
11:20Yeah!
11:21Yeah!
11:22Come on, if every fed-up mom in this B-lot shows up, we can break our shackles, get our placards back.
11:29We can, oh, the movie, 300.
11:31This is Sparta!
11:33You've seen that, right?
11:35Yeah!
11:36Okay, I'll see you ladies Thursday.
11:38This is excellent work.
11:50Thank you, Mr. Zeller.
11:51Now, I know what you're thinking.
11:54Why does a professional artist who can do this want to take a painting class?
11:59That is what I'm thinking.
12:00Well, mainly because I'm a huge fan of your work.
12:03That series you did, based on Dante's Inferno, the one with the guy chewing the other guy's head off.
12:09I wish I could paint like that.
12:11You're very kind, but then again, look what you've done with these bunnies.
12:15Do you start with watercolor and then outline with a rapidograph?
12:18Actually, it's the other way around.
12:20I have a very steady hand.
12:22Oh, clearly.
12:23My compliments, Ms. Delfino.
12:25Technically, it was very impressive.
12:27Oh, thank you.
12:29So, obviously, I'm in.
12:33No.
12:34Obviously, you're out.
12:37What?
12:38Don't get me wrong.
12:39You're a fine illustrator, but this isn't what I call art.
12:42Excuse me, but my paintings have been in dozens of books.
12:45Some of them bestsellers.
12:47Perhaps you've heard of Dr. Porcupine?
12:50He has a very prickly bedside manner.
12:53Right.
12:53See, when you say art, you mean a hedgehog with a stethoscope.
12:57And to me, art means reaching down your throat, tearing your guts out,
13:00and smearing it all over a canvas.
13:01Anger, passion.
13:04That's what interests me.
13:06Well, Dr. Porcupine loses a patient and kills a hooker doesn't have the same ring to it.
13:11I'm looking for serious students of the media.
13:14You're a bored housewife trying to kill time between spin class and driving your kid to soccer practice.
13:19Hey, that's not fair.
13:19Uh, just because I've done children's books doesn't mean I can't do anything else.
13:25Really?
13:26Do you have any work that reflects what I've been talking about?
13:29Of course I do.
13:31I'll bring it in tomorrow.
13:32I would bring it in now, but I have to pick up my son.
13:39From prison.
13:43In 1985, musician Bob Geldof organized a benefit concert to fight famine in Asia.
13:48There you are.
13:49Though I don't know why I'm surprised.
13:51It's where you've been the last three days.
13:53Guatemala.
13:53It's Guatemala!
13:54Ethiopia.
13:55Loser.
13:56Ethiopia is correct.
13:58Well, given that you won't be making your fortune off game shows, perhaps it's time we had that talk about your future.
14:07Mom, I'm still healing.
14:09My marriage fell apart.
14:10You, of all people, should know how that feels.
14:12Yes, and I sat in that same chair healing and eventually turned into a raging alcoholic.
14:17Oh, man.
14:18Mine sounds really good right now.
14:20We should get a bottle.
14:23What?
14:23You can't even have a sip?
14:24No!
14:25Now, you need to think about putting your life back together.
14:27You're getting a job.
14:29You have a son to consider.
14:31Oh, jeez.
14:34I found you!
14:35Now, go hide and we'll play again.
14:39One, two, three.
14:43Okay, there is something I've been thinking about doing.
14:45Oh!
14:46What job?
14:47Retail?
14:48Waitressing?
14:49Better.
14:50My own business.
14:51I designed this exercise equipment, and I think I could sell it on the internet.
14:55Danielle, what do you know about starting a business?
14:59I already have the design, and I wrote up a business plan.
15:02I think it could really work.
15:03All I need is a little seed money.
15:05Say, $5,000.
15:06$5,000?
15:08Well, I need the supplies, and I have to rent a place to work out of.
15:10I will give you $500, and you can use the test kitchen.
15:16Seriously?
15:19Mom, thank you so much.
15:20This means a lot to me.
15:21Well, I am very proud of you, and you know what?
15:23You are setting a wonderful example for Benjamin.
15:27Ow, crap.
15:29Ready or not, here I come.
15:30Hey.
15:35Sorry I'm late.
15:36Hope you don't mind if I have my lunch while we go over our schedules.
15:39That's lunch?
15:40Protein shake.
15:41Just trying to stay, uh, lean and mean.
15:45I did that once.
15:47All I got was mean.
15:48Hey, I had to move my meeting to Wednesday afternoon.
15:52Think you can pick up the kids?
15:53I'll cover Penny's orthodontist on Friday?
15:55Sure, and Saturday Parker has that birthday.
15:58Since that's your day, you can have him longer on Sunday, if you want.
16:03Great, yeah.
16:05That is everything on my end.
16:06You?
16:07Um, I heard back from that couples counselor.
16:11She can squeeze us in Thursday at 6 o'clock.
16:14I mean, if you still want to go to therapy.
16:18Absolutely.
16:19Oh.
16:20I can make Thursday work.
16:22Good, I'll book the appointment.
16:25Hello?
16:29Hey.
16:32Hey, can I call you back?
16:37Okay, okay, hold on a sec.
16:39Um, this is a work thing.
16:41Is there anything else you need from me?
16:43Uh, no.
16:46I will see you Thursday.
16:48Okay.
16:52Hey, sorry about that.
16:53Let me get this straight, Jill.
17:02For back-to-school night appetizers, you're suggesting pretzels?
17:06What are we, a public school?
17:09Hey, sorry.
17:11Did you guys know there was an AA meeting in the gym?
17:13I sat through five.
17:14I left my kid in the car while drinking stories before I realized I was in the wrong place.
17:18Donut?
17:21Gabrielle Solis.
17:23What brings you to your first ever PTA meeting?
17:28Same thing that brought our founding fathers to...
17:30Wherever they went when all that crap happened with England.
17:35Freedom?
17:36Freedom?
17:37Yeah, that's right.
17:39Freedom to oppose an unjust ruler.
17:41And her unjust placard-stealing ways.
17:43We are here to tell you your reign of terror is over.
17:46Right, girls?
17:47Guys, come on!
17:52Melissa, have you forgotten about the blood blister you got hiking from the B-lot?
17:56And you, other woman, you were 20 minutes late to your manicure.
18:01Show them your hands.
18:04This can't go on.
18:07She's right.
18:08Yeah.
18:09Tell her, Gabby.
18:11According to your sacred rule book, which, by the way, is a snore fest,
18:15a group of five parents can seek a vote of no confidence in a president.
18:22So, guess I'll be taking that vote now.
18:25Melissa?
18:26Rachel?
18:28You sure you want to do this?
18:35No.
18:36It's an obvious bribe.
18:38Well, it worked.
18:40Yeah.
18:40What?
18:48Guess we won't be having that vote after all.
18:51So what?
18:51What more can you do to me?
18:53I already park in the B-lot.
19:07Nice, Mom.
19:08I asked you not to come in here.
19:21I am not staying.
19:22I just thought my little entrepreneurs could use some lemonade.
19:27So, this is it.
19:29The big internet startup.
19:31Yes, and for your information, as soon as we put up the site, they started selling like
19:35crazy.
19:36Over to 100 of them.
19:38Well, I stand corrected.
19:39Good for you.
19:40So, how exactly does this exercise equipment work?
19:44Well, it kind of incorporates Pilates and stretching.
19:48It's really more for serious athletes.
19:50That might be another order.
19:53I should get that, but could you take Benjamin to go get some lunch?
19:56Of course.
19:56Benji.
20:02Hello.
20:03Ecstasy Sex Swing.
20:04We put the swing back in your sex life.
20:07Yes, it can sport up to 300 pounds.
20:09And we guarantee maximum pleasure for you and your partner.
20:15Ready?
20:15Ta-da!
20:18Is this for me?
20:20Unless you know another Penny Scavo with an incredibly generous mom.
20:24Look, it even has a camera.
20:26Cool.
20:27But my birthday was last month.
20:29I know, but this way, when you're at your dad's, we can video chat.
20:33Like, when you need help with homework or you've been having trouble with math.
20:37No, I haven't.
20:38Well, you might.
20:39So, bring it.
20:41Okay?
20:42Okay?
20:45Hey, sweetie.
20:50Long time no see.
20:52Mom, you just dropped me off.
20:54Really?
20:55Feels like forever.
20:56The gum you gave me in the car still has flavor.
20:59Well, I miss you.
21:00Actually, since you called.
21:03We're multiplying mixed fractions and I'm kind of...
21:05I know what you mean.
21:05Can you move your head?
21:06Uh, sure.
21:09So, do I need a common denominator...
21:11Honey, the sun's creating a glare.
21:12Would you mind turning your screen?
21:14It's just a scooch.
21:15Okay.
21:17Ooh.
21:18Dad's new place looks nice.
21:21Yeah, it is.
21:22Hey!
21:23You know what might be fun?
21:24Why don't you give me a tour?
21:26Just turn your tablet around and scan the room.
21:32Uh, big screen TV.
21:34There's a 9.0 on the predictability scale.
21:38Empty pizza box.
21:40Dirty plate.
21:40Dirty glass.
21:42It's nice.
21:42He's kept the same decorating scheme.
21:44My arm's getting tired.
21:46Little longer.
21:47Think light thoughts.
21:49Stop.
21:49Go back.
21:50I want to see your dad's new, lovely curtains.
21:56Wow.
21:57They're nice.
21:59But they seem a little young for him.
22:03Who is that?
22:05That's Chloe.
22:06She lives in the building.
22:08She's really nice.
22:10Apparently.
22:13So, is Chloe around a lot?
22:16Sometimes.
22:17She teaches a booty burn ballet class, so she's mostly at the fitness center.
22:21Hey, Mom.
22:23Dad's got black toilets.
22:25You want to see them?
22:26No.
22:27Thanks.
22:27I've seen enough.
22:28Okay.
22:29So, when I multiply these fractions...
22:30Okay, sweetie.
22:31I love you.
22:39Well, it's different.
22:40Mm-hmm.
22:42So, what does this mean to you?
22:43Loneliness.
22:45Isolation.
22:47Not long ago, this tree was lush and green.
22:50But now, it's lost its leaves and winter's ahead.
22:56And it's just doing what it can to survive.
23:02So, let me guess.
23:03You're the tree.
23:09Okay.
23:10You're mocking me again.
23:13Oh, goodbye.
23:14Hold on.
23:14We're having an artistic dialogue here.
23:17I bet your night went something like this.
23:18You went home and asked yourself, how do I prove to Andre Zeller that I'm deep?
23:24So, you dug down through the cupcakes and the throw pillows and the once-a-week sex of your life to your very core.
23:30And you found this sad little tree.
23:34And it's so profound.
23:36Because the tree's lonely, just like I am now that Oprah's off the air.
23:43How dare you?
23:44You don't know anything about me.
23:46What's to know?
23:47You're shallow.
23:49And your work is shallow.
23:50And God bless you.
23:50Because if I had your life, I'd be painting bunnies, too.
23:53You want everything to be nice and pretty.
23:54You're afraid of ugly.
23:55You think I'm afraid of ugly?
24:03You want ugly?
24:05There.
24:06There's some ugly for you.
24:08You want passion?
24:10Well, here you go.
24:11There's passion.
24:12Passion all over the place.
24:14You know, I am not some shallow sucker mom.
24:16I have done things that you can't believe.
24:19I have anger.
24:20And I have pain.
24:24I have secrets in me that I wish...
24:27I could get rid of and I can't.
24:33It's fine.
24:34You know, you...
24:34You've made your mind up about me.
24:36So screw your class.
24:38Screw your medium.
24:40Screw you!
24:40Screw you!
24:40Screw you!
24:46Screw you!
25:17Ah, there you are.
25:18Hey, do you have a recipe for...
25:21Oh.
25:22Congratulations.
25:24For what?
25:25Well, I didn't know you and Chuck were back together.
25:28We're not.
25:29Well, then why are you wearing a sex swing?
25:33A what?
25:35Oh, no.
25:36This is Danielle's new business.
25:38She's making exercise equipment.
25:42Uh, yeah.
25:43For a very specific kind of exercise?
25:46Sex swing.
25:52I've never even heard of such a thing.
26:00Man, I'll try this one if you get dizzy easily.
26:02Mom?
26:04Exercise equipment?
26:06When I get out of this, you are in so much trouble.
26:09I'll write you a check later.
26:12Sex swing?
26:13In my test kitchen?
26:14Do you realize I used to make people wear hairnets in here?
26:17Danielle, I am very disappointed in you.
26:21Gosh, where have I heard that before?
26:22Oh, don't you try to turn this around on me!
26:24For the first time in my life, I've found something that I'm good at, and that's successful, and that's still not good enough for you.
26:32You just live to judge me.
26:35Danielle?
26:36Danielle, where are you going?
26:40Now, I'm telling you, it was bad.
26:43Andre probably called the loony bin and they're on their way here right now with a butterfly net.
26:47It's okay, babe.
26:49No, it's not.
26:50I just ran out of there.
26:52I forgot my portfolio.
26:54I don't know what the hell came over me.
26:57Susan, I know how badly you want what happened in the woods to go away.
27:03But I have to tell you the truth.
27:05It's not going to.
27:07It's part of you.
27:09No.
27:10No.
27:11I don't want it to be.
27:13I don't want it to be either.
27:14Just like I don't want my dark stuff to be part of me.
27:17But it is.
27:19Mike, please.
27:20Please stop saying this.
27:22I'm trying to protect you.
27:25If you can accept this as part of you, maybe you can figure out how to live with it.
27:33But if you don't, that's when it jumps out without warning.
27:40And trust me, that's a bad way to live.
27:47So, things are never going to be the way they were.
27:58Things are how they are.
28:06You okay?
28:07Mommy, will you check my math worksheet?
28:10It's really hard.
28:13Sure, sure, honey.
28:14In case you're wondering how I got here, the UPS man heard my cries and cut me down.
28:37Suffice to say, we're FedEx people now.
28:39Look, I know you think that I am judgmental.
28:43Think?
28:44Danielle, you should have gone to college.
28:46Danielle, you dressed like a streetwalker.
28:49Danielle, I knew your marriage wouldn't last.
28:51Yeah, a little bit.
28:53What I was going to say is you're right.
28:57Why are you admitting this?
28:59Because I thought about what you said, and I realized I am far from perfect.
29:03I have no right to be so critical.
29:04Okay, now you're freaking me out.
29:07Did something happen?
29:11Just know that a certain recent event made me aware that I am in no position to judge you or anyone else.
29:20What are you talking about?
29:23It doesn't matter.
29:24The point is, can you forgive me?
29:28Wow.
29:32That's like the first time you've ever said that.
29:37And, yes, I forgive you.
29:41And to prove that I am sincere, I would like to invest in your business and support you in making those disgustingly happy swings.
29:51You mean like a silent partner?
29:52A silent, invisible, and completely untraceable partner who supports you from far, far away.
30:02I love you, sweetie.
30:04I love you, too.
30:09Now, go pack up your sex factory and I will bake us some cookies.
30:13You're about to paint a hundred bad paintings, so let's get those out of the way so you can start painting the good ones.
30:27What are you doing?
30:29Uh, I forgot my portfolio.
30:33Sit down.
30:34Excuse me?
30:36Sit down. You're late.
30:37Um, does that mean you're letting me join the class?
30:43For now.
30:45But that woman who showed up yesterday, the crazy one, she better be here every single day.
30:51Um, I don't know if I like that woman.
30:55She scares me.
30:57Good.
30:57Okay, I want you to start by forgetting everything you heard about brush technique.
31:05I've seen your painting, and either you heard it wrong, or it was wrong.
31:15Hey.
31:16Hey.
31:16You ready for a walk?
31:17Actually, change of plans.
31:18I thought we'd go to that booty burn ballet class at the fitness center.
31:21What's going on?
31:23Nothing.
31:23Can't a woman just want to burn her booty?
31:25Fine, I think you're right about Tom seeing someone.
31:28She's an aerobics teacher.
31:30Ugh, of course she is.
31:32Cliché much?
31:33So I'm thinking I'll go to her class, and I'll...
31:36Actually, I don't know what the hell I'm thinking.
31:38You're thinking you want to spy on this woman and see what she's like,
31:40then key her car on the way out.
31:41It's perfectly natural.
31:43So I'm not crazy?
31:44She can just be direct and ask Tom if he's seeing someone.
31:47Why?
31:47So he can lie to you through his unnaturally white teeth?
31:50Okay, then.
31:52I guess we're going.
31:52Yeah.
31:53At Booty Burn Ballet, I think we can do this.
31:56Please, how hard can it be?
31:59Am I the only one about to pass out?
32:02No.
32:03I keep seeing my dead grandfather at the end of the tunnel saying,
32:06Come toward the light.
32:08Keep going, ladies.
32:09Keep your eyes on the thighs.
32:11Did she just use a civil rights rallying cry to get us to lose ass fat?
32:16First time, huh?
32:17Well, what gave me away?
32:19The fact that this was light blue when I came in?
32:21Well, the good news is, if you have a heart attack, I'm a doctor.
32:26The bad news is, if you have one, I'm not.
32:28Okay.
32:29So if I die, please put me ass up in the coffin.
32:33I'd hate for all this work to go to waste.
32:36On your feet, ladies.
32:37Okay.
32:39We've checked out the competition.
32:41Can we go now?
32:42No.
32:43I want to talk to her.
32:44Okay, everybody.
32:46Time to work those quads.
32:49I don't know.
32:50I hate more right now.
32:51You or her.
32:51Fifty lunges.
32:53Jump toward your skinny, skinny future.
32:55And we have a winner.
32:56Hi, it's Mrs. Solis.
33:03Can you tell Sean I'm running about 20 minutes late for my brow waxing appointment?
33:08What?
33:09He can't hold it for me?
33:11But I've got caterpillars over my eyes.
33:14Fine.
33:15I'll be there in five minutes.
33:16Juanita, get back in the car.
33:19We're going drop off.
33:20Gabby, what are you doing?
33:31You can't be in the carpooling without a placard.
33:33Don't give a crap.
33:34It's time somebody taught Dana a lesson.
33:36We need to break the back of our oppressor.
33:47Mobilize the cones!
33:50Get out, sweetie.
33:56Go, go, go, go, go.
34:10Never going to get that eyebrow wax.
34:17Again, Dana, I am so sorry.
34:20On the upside, that cast is so slimming.
34:24It's like a hard spanks.
34:26Gabby, there's a reason I asked to see you.
34:29You wanted to give me my placard back.
34:32No.
34:33Could you hand me those painkillers?
34:37Just wanted to bring you up to date on some school-related news.
34:41Given my condition, they've informed me that I'm no longer able to carry out my duties as PTA president.
34:46That's a bummer.
34:48That's a bummer.
34:49Yes, it is.
34:52The bylaws state I'm to appoint an acting president.
34:56And I've made my decision.
34:59Me?
35:01Wait, you hate me.
35:02Very perceptive.
35:03That'll serve you well as PTA president.
35:05Okay, wait.
35:08Why are you doing this?
35:10Let me tell you what I was like before I took this job.
35:12I was fun.
35:14I drank at school functions.
35:16My boob fell out at the holiday party.
35:18I still had a husband.
35:19So what turned you into this?
35:23The job did.
35:24Mm-hmm.
35:25And it's going to do the same to you.
35:27Yeah, no time for manicures because you'll be planning the winter gala.
35:32No more seeing your husband because you'll be organizing the bake sale.
35:35And no more friends because you'll always be hitting them up for something.
35:41Well, as attractive as your little revenge fantasy sounds, I'm going to pass.
35:45Then I guess I'm going to have to go ahead and press charges.
35:49What are you talking about?
35:50It was an accident.
35:52I have witnesses who heard you say you were going to break my back.
35:57And I do have a broken back.
36:07So, the winter gala.
36:10It's in the winter, right?
36:14That's interesting.
36:15Interesting.
36:15So really, you have three careers.
36:17You're an aerobics instructor, aromatherapist, and a lingerie model.
36:22Well, lingerie modeling is more of a hobby than a career.
36:25But when God gives you these...
36:26Right.
36:28Are you sure God gave you those?
36:30I'm just kidding.
36:31I'm just kidding.
36:32It's nice talking to you, Chloe.
36:34Ready to go?
36:35Yes.
36:36So?
36:36Well, obviously, I'm not thrilled to look at her.
36:39But it could be worse.
36:41How?
36:41Well, she could look like that and have a single thought in her head.
36:45I mean, there's no way Tom's ever going to get serious about a woman like that.
36:49Yeah.
36:49She's just a fling.
36:51A palate cleanser.
36:52The sorbet you eat between courses.
36:54I'm really sorry I said that.
36:57I give the whole thing three weeks.
36:59Lynette?
37:00Hey, Tom, what's...
37:05What's going on?
37:07I'll meet you at the car.
37:08Okay.
37:11What are you doing here?
37:14I know.
37:16Know what?
37:18What?
37:21Okay.
37:22We just had dinner a couple of times.
37:25There's nothing going on.
37:28Whatever.
37:31So is this how you're going to be spending your free time now?
37:34Spying on me?
37:35Oh, well, that's a brilliant strategy, Tom.
37:37Act like I'm the one in the wrong.
37:38You're the one dating the underwear model.
37:40What are you talking about?
37:45Chloe?
37:45I'm not dating Chloe.
37:47Jeez, Lynette, give me a little credit.
37:49Then who have you been having dinner with?
37:50Why are you here?
37:51I am picking up Jane, Chloe's mom.
38:00Like I said, it's just a couple of dinners and coffee.
38:04Oh, it's coffee now?
38:06God, Tom, when were you going to tell me this?
38:08Thursday, in counseling.
38:13You ready to go?
38:15Yeah.
38:17Lynette, we'll talk about this Thursday, right?
38:19What's the point?
38:20What's the point?
38:24Yes, we often learn our most important lessons outside the classroom.
38:32The painful truth about the state of a relationship.
38:38The ugly cost of challenging authority.
38:42The sad fact that life's colors aren't always rosy.
38:51Then there are those who refuse to accept these important lessons.
38:56They simply wait for the chance to teach a lesson of their own.
39:05Don't tell me you're still stewing about that redhead.
39:07Well, I'm not a big fan of getting let on and humiliated.
39:12So, yeah, I'm not...
39:14I don't think I'm letting go of this one yet.
39:16Suit yourself.
39:18I got some missing person reports here for you.
39:21Just throw some over there.
39:22I got some missing person Remercie.
39:25Hope to keep running around.
39:25Let's check again, guys.
39:28I think it's good.
39:31I think, well, this is less些 going to watch from the mic.
39:34Let's do this one.
39:35See you next week, man.
39:46Let's do the acho.
39:47Thanks, honey.
39:47isation, whatever this is.
39:48I'll see you next week, man.
39:49Let's be Tuesday.
39:50Let's do the guy.
39:50Happy Monday, man.
39:50It's time for you next week.
39:51Everything's coming up.