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  • 6/29/2025
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00:01Previously on Desperate Housewives, there was flirtation.
00:04Here's my card. If you see anything suspicious, I want you to call me.
00:07Or even if you don't.
00:09There was confrontation.
00:11After all those years that I supported you, took a backseat to your career.
00:15You couldn't do the same for me.
00:16There was a fight.
00:18Leave me alone!
00:20And there were consequences.
00:24Susan Delfino was charitable to a fault.
00:33She just couldn't resist lending a hand.
00:36There wasn't a lost pet she could ignore.
00:41A girl in uniform she could refuse.
00:45Or a struggling artist she could say no to.
00:51So when it came to a neighbor in need...
00:58Oh my God, Paul, what happened?
01:00Susan was only too eager to help.
01:03I started having chest pains.
01:05Passed out, came to, dialed 911.
01:08They've been running tests all night.
01:10Well, I'm gonna be here for you till I figure it out.
01:13I brought you these, magazines, water.
01:16You're unbelievable.
01:18I've got a street full of neighbors and the only one who comes to see me is the woman I yelled at.
01:23Sorry about that.
01:24It was my fault.
01:25I shouldn't have asked you about getting my house back.
01:27I sounded like a vulture.
01:29Mr. Young, we've got your test results.
01:32Could you excuse us for a moment, Susan?
01:34Oh, yeah, I'll wait outside.
01:38Well, good news, your EKG came back normal.
01:41So it's not a heart attack?
01:42It's not a heart attack.
01:44Since here you've been experiencing dizziness, nausea, stomach cramps.
01:47That's right.
01:48What do you think it is?
01:49I think, unless you've been poisoned or you're pregnant, it's probably just stress.
01:54Hmm.
01:56Poisoned?
01:58Yeah.
01:59I remember this case when I was an intern.
02:01A man came in with the same symptoms.
02:03Turns out his wife was putting antifreeze in his oatmeal.
02:06A little bit every day, so it wasn't obvious.
02:08But eventually it killed him.
02:10Good lesson for all of us.
02:11Don't piss off the old lady.
02:17What do you say?
02:18He thinks it's stress.
02:19Stress?
02:20That's a relief.
02:22So you must be starving.
02:23What can I make you for dinner tonight?
02:24Yes.
02:25Susan Delfino just couldn't resist lending a hand to a neighbor in trouble.
02:30I'm sure anything you bring will be a huge help to me.
02:31Which was about to cause her some trouble of her own.
03:07secure we are, we all experience moments of dread. It may be just before we open our credit
03:15card bill, or hand over a note from our teacher, or step on the scale after a week away from
03:27the gym. Yes, we all experience moments of dread. And sometimes, we have no one to blame but
03:38ourselves. Daddy's home. How am I? Bloody Stranger 2, she can't watch this. Daddy, no. This is
03:55about some stranger who comes to town and starts murdering slutty teenagers. Yeah, it's a good
04:01lesson for when she's older. Don't be a slutty teenager. Gabby, this is way too violent. Ow, the
04:07kid's used to violence. You've seen me make her eat carrots. Besides, one of you knows the movie's
04:12fake. Right, honey? Duh. There's no way one spear gun could shoot through three heads in real life.
04:19Exactly. Two, maybe. Maybe. Hey! Oh, Carlos, relax. Anita's tough. She'll be fine.
04:33He's out there! Calm down, sweetie. Who's out there? The Bloody Stranger. He was standing on our
04:40lawn looking at our house. The Bloody Stranger. Nice. Honey, we talked about this, remember?
04:45How was I'll pretend? Can I sleep in here with you guys? You can sleep with her. I'm going
04:51to sleep in your bed. Celia's in my bed. Then I'll sleep in Celia's bed. She wet her bed.
04:59Come on in.
05:00Hey! Hey!
05:14Who's home in time for dinner? Yeah, well, I couldn't miss spaghetti night. Spaghetti night's Tuesday, Dad.
05:20You made it home for taco night. Taco night? Ay, crumba. Oh.
05:25Hey, no. I'm kidding. Mwah. Hey, your mom made a lovely dinner so the least that I could do
05:31to bring home dessert.
05:35Plain tickets?
05:36That's right. I planned the family vacation this year.
05:40You did what?
05:40Seven days, six nights at the Royal Kailua Spa and Resort in Hawaii.
05:46Oh, yeah!
05:47Well done, sir.
05:49Well done, baby. Yes!
05:51You bought the tickets without talking to me first? Okay. Not exactly. Wow, Tom, you're
05:56the greatest husband in the world. But I told you I already planned our vacation, just like
06:01I've been doing for the last 16 years. Well, there you go. You deserve a year off. Wait
06:06until you see the water slides at this place. Cool. Yeah. Yeah, cool. Except I just spent
06:13two weeks mapping out a route for a camping trip and I put a deposit down on an RV. Okay,
06:18so we eat the deposit. Wish I could eat it right now.
06:23And I told my sister we'd stop by and visit on the way.
06:29We get back from Hawaii. We fly her out to see us here. Boom. Problem solved.
06:34Ah! Hooray!
06:36And yet still know you're the greatest husband in the world? Ah. Oh, my God. First class?
06:48You are the greatest husband in the world. Ah!
06:50Oh, my God!
06:52Yes!
06:53Yes!
06:54Hawaii.
06:55Yeah.
06:56Hawaii.
06:57Hawaii.
06:59Hawaii.
06:59I got you!
07:01I got you!
07:02I got you!
07:03I got you!
07:04Principal Hobson!
07:07Principal Hobson.
07:08Principal Hobson.
07:09Principal Hobson.
07:11Ah.
07:12Susan.
07:13Hey!
07:14Great to see you.
07:15Did you get my emails?
07:17I sent you, like, ten.
07:18Ha!
07:19Emails?
07:20No.
07:21Oh, well, in the first one.
07:22All right, I got them.
07:23All right, I got them.
07:26And I would be glad to give you your job back,
07:28but I'm afraid it just isn't going to happen.
07:30Oh, why not?
07:32Susan, you can't be surprised that there are consequences
07:36when you show up on the internet holding a feather duster
07:39and wearing a purple bra.
07:41That's very specific.
07:43Well, I had to verify the claims in order to...
07:48My point is the damage was done.
07:51No, I made a mistake, but I feel like I deserve a second chance.
07:55If it were up to me, I would give you that chance.
07:58But you know private schools.
08:00The parents' council has all the power.
08:02So, if I were to win them over...
08:05Well, that would be a start.
08:07Thank you. I'll take it from here.
08:09Oh, and I promise, no feather duster, no purple bra.
08:13And no black bustier.
08:18Nice talking to you.
08:21Oh, Detective Mance. I was just, um, heading out.
08:31I won't keep you.
08:32I just stopped by to give you another card to replace the one you lost.
08:35What makes you think I lost it?
08:36I gave it to you two days ago. He never called me.
08:38So, I'm assuming you lost it.
08:39No. I didn't.
08:41Now, isn't that nice?
08:43I gave you a graceful way to spare my feelings and you clobber me with facts.
08:47You sure you didn't lose it?
08:49Quite sure. In fact, it's right here. In my purse.
08:53If you didn't throw it away, that must mean you were thinking of calling.
08:58Look, this is my second try. I can't ask you again.
09:02Is that an ultimatum?
09:03It's a fact of courtship. Twice as charmingly persistent. Once more and I'm stalking you.
09:07So you're courting me?
09:09I'm trying to. When will you stop playing hard to get?
09:11Maybe when you start playing hard to want.
09:13You see how much you enjoy smacking me down? Why pass up a chance to do it all night?
09:20Come on. I'm on dinner.
09:25Fine. It's Thursday. 8pm.
09:28Great. See you then.
09:32I thought you were heading out.
09:37Right.
09:43You want me to test a tuna noodle casserole?
09:56Is that a problem?
09:58Well, normally we test stuff like soil samples and ground water, but sure, I can do it.
10:02What are you looking for?
10:05Antifreeze.
10:13Hey. What are you doing tonight? A friend of mine is playing at a jazz club.
10:16Oh, thanks, Renee, but I have a date.
10:18If you don't want to come, just say so. You don't have to make stuff up.
10:22No, I really do have a date. Is that so hard to believe?
10:25Oh, slightly. So who is he?
10:27He's a detective. His name is Chuck. Chuck Vance.
10:33Well, don't stop. I want to hear it all.
10:35Actually, that's all I know.
10:36That's it? And you agreed to go out with him?
10:39I never date a guy until I've done a complete background check.
10:43Maybe I should just Google him.
10:45Amateur. Give me his name and I will find out everything worth knowing.
10:48Marital history. Net worth. Results of his last physical.
10:51The physical seems excessive.
10:53That's what I thought. Until I spent a weekend pinned under a dead linebacker.
11:00Why would you let her watch something called Bloody Stranger 2?
11:04I know. I know. I'm an idiot. Now she's having nightmares and crawling into our bed every night.
11:09When I was a kid, I had bad dreams like you wouldn't believe. Jumping out of bed, running down the hall screaming kind of dreams.
11:14So what'd you do?
11:16Guess I outgrew them.
11:17You did?
11:19Juanita, come here!
11:21What are you doing?
11:22I figured you could talk to her. You know, give her one of those, it gets better speeches you gays love so much.
11:27Sweetie, Lee wants to talk to you.
11:32Your mom says you've been having nightmares. What are they about?
11:36I see this creepy guy standing on our lawn.
11:38Oh, you poor thing. You know, when I was little, I had nightmares too.
11:43Really?
11:44Yeah.
11:45My brother told me that there was a hospital for the criminally insane on the outskirts of town.
11:50And at night the inmates would escape and kidnap little boys and girls.
11:55But it's not real. His brother was just trying to scare him.
11:58Oh no, it's totally real. One summer, three kids went missing.
12:02Until they found them.
12:03Right. About a month later, in a ravine.
12:07Alive?
12:09No, come on, they were in a ravine. What could ever comes out of a ravine?
12:13What the hell is that?
12:18I'm just showing her there's nothing to be frightened of. My story's way scarier than hers.
12:22Okay, so Cindy's in charge of decorations. Abby, you're handling music.
12:29Oh, sorry, sorry. Don't let me interrupt.
12:33Susan, what are you doing here?
12:52I heard you guys were planning open house night and I'd love to pitch in. How can I help?
12:56Let's see, you're legendary for your cleaning abilities.
13:01That didn't take long. Do you need any refreshments? I could make something.
13:06Thanks, but if we need any help, we'll call you. Is it still 99 cents a minute?
13:11Okay. Looks like we should just get this out there. My family had a really crappy year. I did some things that I am not proud of.
13:24But I was a damn good teacher when I was at this school. And I was hoping that you ladies might eventually support hiring me back.
13:34You want to teach here again? I think the parents' council might have a big problem with that.
13:41Look, I'm not asking for your forgiveness. Just a chance to earn it. Let me do something for open house. I really do want to help.
13:53Okay. How about you pick up the streamers? Streamers? If you can handle it. Just be careful not to confuse them with tassels.
14:04Meeting adjourned.
14:11I shouldn't even look at this. It feels like such an intrusion. And besides, he'll be here any minute.
14:16Then I'm just in the nick of time. You found something bad?
14:20Well, for me, his salary alone makes him a non-starter. But you may be more interested in what's on page three.
14:26Is he a dirty cop? Or a democrat?
14:29Worse.
14:30No.
14:48Hello, Chuck.
14:49I was afraid I was early, but, uh, looks like you're all ready.
14:52Oh, I'm ready all right. Shall we?
15:02I hope this is okay. You like Italian, right? Everybody likes Italian.
15:05Oh, it's fine. So, let's talk. Tell me about yourself. Tell me everything.
15:11Okay. What do you want to know?
15:14Oh, whatever you think is, um, pertinent.
15:17Okay. Um, I was born in Pennsylvania. I played some ball in college. Um, I have a degree in criminology.
15:24Interesting.
15:28Anything else?
15:30Well, I have two kids.
15:32Oh, so you've been married.
15:33Yeah. Didn't work out. I hope you don't judge me for that.
15:37Oh, no. Not for that.
15:41Is something wrong, Bree?
15:42I'm just wondering when you were going to tell me that you're still married.
15:49I see you've done due diligence. Did your source happen to mention that I filed for divorce last spring?
15:55And that it hasn't gone through. So, technically, you're still married. You should have told me.
15:59We haven't even ordered yet. You expect me to lead with that? Hey, I'm technically married. The chicken looks good.
16:04You shouldn't be dating at all until your divorce is final. I mean, what if you and your wife reconcile?
16:09I haven't spoken to my wife in a year without my lawyer present.
16:12You can't blame me for doing a simple background check.
16:15Hell no. I'm sure you want to avoid another mistake like your second husband, the hit-and-run driver. Orson, was it?
16:22What?
16:24Tell me. Who was creepier? Him or that pharmacist who killed himself while you were dating?
16:31Where did you hear that?
16:33I pulled your police file.
16:35I have a file.
16:37And you pulled it.
16:40Who do you investigate me before our date?
16:43Say that again. And this time, listen for the irony.
16:46There is no comparison to what I did. You could have been dangerous. I have to protect myself.
16:49Oh, women could be dangerous too. Especially ones who own four handguns and a .30-06 hunting rifle. What's up with that?
16:56This is outrageous. You are treating me like a common criminal.
16:59What can I get you folks to start?
17:01I will not be ordering.
17:03I want to go home. Now.
17:05Come on, Bree. Calm down. Have a drink.
17:08I don't drink. Wasn't that in my file? Someone's slipping.
17:10Someone's slipping.
17:20What are you doing?
17:22What do you think I'm doing?
17:23I think you're wasting your time, much as I did when I planned this year's vacation.
17:29We should have discussed this.
17:32I wanted to surprise you.
17:33I wasn't surprised. I was blindsided. You may call all the shots at work, but you're not the CFO of this family.
17:42You're right.
17:45For what it's worth, your road trip sounds amazing.
17:49I just don't think it's going to pan out for this summer.
17:52But you made a hell of a great start for next year's trip.
17:58Don't pull that management trick on me.
18:00What trick?
18:01The yes sandwich. Start with a compliment, lower the boom, end with a compliment.
18:05It's the oldest trick in business and I taught it to you.
18:07Lynette, I already promised Hawaii to the kids.
18:10You want me to take it away? You saw how excited they were.
18:14Only because they've never had a lavish vacation before. Give me the same budget and I'll make my trip sound twice as good as you.
18:18Oh, I would love to see you try.
18:23Okay then. Game on.
18:26We'll, um, we'll sit the kids down. We'll each make our presentation. Let them decide.
18:32Sounds fair to me. Game on.
18:34Okay. Game on.
18:39Honey.
18:40I'm not turned on. You're a very handsome man. We're not going to have sex.
18:49That's a no sandwich.
19:00Level with me, Brie. Do I still have a chance with you?
19:03None whatsoever.
19:05Then this can't make things any worse.
19:06That's right. Keep driving, buddy.
19:11Why'd you do that? Get in, Violet.
19:13Oh, my God. You couldn't have dropped me off before you pick up a prostitute.
19:15You arresting me, Chuck?
19:16Just taking me to the women's shelter.
19:21So what is this your good deed for the night? You're trying to impress your date?
19:24I'm not going to have a job with you.
19:25I'm just taking you to the women's shelter.
19:27So what is this your good deed for the night?
19:29You're trying to impress your date.
19:31I'm just trying to be a good deed for the night.
19:32you're arresting me chuck just taking you to the women's shelter
19:40so what is this your good deed for the night you're trying to impress your date
19:45no that ship has sailed she hates me more than you do
19:49why what's wrong with her let's just say my opinion isn't any of your concern
19:53you're better off without her check this one's got a sticker for us
19:57and what qualifies you to make such snap judgments about people you've just met
20:02i'm a hooker it's what i do
20:05here we are and i'm watching to make sure you go in
20:19you know i'm just gonna be back on that corner tomorrow yeah that's tomorrow's problem
20:24what are you gonna give up what i am now that's all i'm ever gonna be
20:29you think so
20:32did you know that 10 years ago brie here was turning tricks just like you
20:40how dare you
20:43three she needs to hear this
20:48i must have hauled her ass in 50 times
20:52then one day she said i'm better than this
20:55she got herself to school
20:56before you knew it she had a first-class catering company so don't try to tell me that you can't make a better life for yourself
21:03you were really on the street actually i don't like to talk about that part of my life
21:18i get it
21:21look at you now huh
21:24it was really nice to meet you
21:29likewise thank you chuck
21:32don't mention it
21:34i know way out of line said i had no chance so i figured what the hell
21:44home
21:46yes please
21:50you were right found trace amounts of antifreeze but don't worry wouldn't have killed you
22:04what would happen if i ate one of these casseroles every day
22:07well for one thing you get tired of tuna casserole
22:11if you repeatedly consumed ethylene glycol your
22:17heart would start to fail your kidneys would give out eventually you die
22:20be a nasty way to go
22:22i can only imagine
22:26what are you doing
22:36i thought i was borrowing lynette's tent
22:40turns out i borrowed a nylon bag of death
22:42why are you setting up a tent
22:44for bonita i want to prove to her there's no scary guy on the lawn
22:47i figured if she spends the night camping out here
22:51she'll get over it
22:52so the kid is scared there's a killer lurking outside at night
22:55and your solution is to make her sleep out here
22:57not alone you dope you'll be with her
23:00me
23:01yeah what if she's right
23:02what if there is a killer or it's cold
23:05forget it
23:07i got an early meeting tomorrow and i'm not going in half asleep because i slept on my
23:10lawn
23:11you cause this problem you fix it tonight
23:14and stop pouting
23:15it's fun to sleep outside
23:18i'm sure it is
23:19that must be why the homeless are always so cheery
23:25come in
23:27hey
23:31after a date
23:33or rather a non-date i was very confused
23:35makes two of us
23:37i was
23:39offended when you didn't tell me the truth about your marriage and oddly touched
23:42when you told the complete stranger i was a whore
23:45well if you like that you should wait till valentine's day
23:48i wanted to know your secrets right away and i didn't want to tell you mine until i
23:54felt i could
23:55trust you and that
23:57wasn't
23:58fair
23:58i was no better
24:01when did dating become so complicated
24:04we're not kids anymore we both had our hearts kicked around
24:08i guess it's made us a little gun shy
24:13if gun shy is the right word for a woman with an arsenal as big as yours
24:17so what do we do
24:21i say
24:23i say
24:25we forget about the crazy digging for girth that we both did
24:29and just have a normal first day
24:31all right
24:33when
24:35well it is lunch time
24:37why not
24:38i know this little indian place that does an amazing lamb vindal
24:44how'd you know i like indian food
24:45i'd rather not say
24:47i don't even know why i want to work at that school again
24:54oh those smug clicky moms
24:57i mean can you believe that dana gave me streamer duty
25:00it's positively awful
25:02so tell me
25:04how is paul
25:05i hear he went to the hospital
25:07he thought he was having a heart attack
25:09but the test results came back negative
25:11do the doctors know what caused it
25:14they think it's stress
25:15but i'm worried about him
25:17oh don't be
25:18well i think he should go back and have more tests done
25:21he'll be fine
25:23as a nurse i saw time and again
25:25that the best prescription for stress is rest
25:27and good food
25:29so sweet of you to make these cookies for him
25:33oh yeah
25:35i hope it cheers him up
25:36i'm sure it's just what the doctor ordered
25:40well i wish i could do more
25:48oh susan
25:51you're doing more for paul than you can possibly know
25:55the grand canyon
26:03over a mile deep
26:05it took six million years to form
26:08sequoia national forest
26:15a soaring monument to nature's majesty
26:17so that's our vacation
26:19looking at trees
26:21and a hole in the ground
26:22now now
26:22kids
26:23your mom worked hard on this
26:24be kind
26:25yeah
26:27yeah
26:28if the grand canyon isn't your scene
26:29did she say scene
26:31you're bound to love our next stop
26:35discriminator
26:36seven minutes of sheer roller coaster terror
26:41responsible parenting magazine calls it the worst idea since the caffeinated juice box
26:46that's awesome
26:47that's awesome
26:48oh me likey
26:49that's great
26:50annie and all of these thrilling destinations are available to us
26:55we just point the rv and drive
26:57oh man i can't wait
27:01oh i forgot about the rv
27:03won't it be a little cramped now that we have page
27:05oh
27:06maybe your dad's right
27:07maybe we shouldn't take the rv
27:09maybe we should take
27:10the road juggernaut
27:148000
27:15state-of-the-art entertainment system
27:18six private sleeping compartments
27:20and two full baths
27:23one of which justin bieber used on his last tour
27:25to make water balloons
27:27shut up
27:28shut up
27:30i'm going to wear it out
27:31we are going on
27:32we are going on
27:32follow that away
27:35will you take that off
27:42no
27:43wadita you look ridiculous
27:45i don't care how i look
27:48i want that killer guy to chop off my head
27:49first of all
27:50a helmet wouldn't keep him from chopping off your head
27:52it would just mean i'd have to clean it before i gave it back to parker
27:55second
27:58there is no killer guy
27:59it's an actor in a movie
28:00but i'm still scared
28:02it's okay to be scared
28:04it's even fun sometimes
28:05you can't let that scared come from inside your own head
28:08and you have to be able to calm it down if it does
28:10what's that
28:12it's people walking by juanita
28:17this is what i'm talking about
28:18this is where you take charge of your fear
28:20mama i think it's the killer
28:23no it's not juanita
28:25mom look
28:27who's out there go away
28:33gotcha
28:38what the hell is wrong with you
28:41i'm trying to help
28:42by giving me a heart attack
28:44you thought that would help
28:45kind of did
28:46oh mom you should have seen your face
28:51i just wanted to show you that not everything that looks scary actually is
28:54see
28:55plastic
28:56plastic
28:56it's like the movie
28:58it looks scary but it's fake
28:59exactly
29:01i have to go
29:02pub's in the shower
29:03and he's about to pay for not liking my chicken pot pie
29:07so when you cast your vote tonight kids
29:12cast it for adventure
29:15luxury
29:16nature
29:18because hawaii has something for every scaba
29:22whether it is circling a smoking volcano in a helicopter
29:26or swimming in crystal clear waters with the dolphins
29:29it is the vacation of a lifetime
29:33hawaii hawaii hawaii hawaii hawaii hawaii hawaii hawaii hawaii hawaii hawaii hawaii hawaii hawaii
29:43hawaii hawaii hawaii hawaii
29:43whoo
29:44i don't want to do this
29:46you know who else loves swimming in those crystal clear waters
29:50nature's hungriest predator the great white shark
29:54come on there hasn't been a shark attack on the island in forever
30:01really or did they just fail to find the evidence
30:04great whites tend to eat their victims
30:07what
30:08this is very very unlikely to happen
30:12you're right you're right i mean especially if we all die
30:16first in
30:17a gruesome helicopter crash
30:21now you see
30:26why the natives call them
30:28death birds
30:30you think you're gonna be safer driving across country
30:34who knows the number one cause of accidental death
30:36oh i do it's the car crash
30:38don't worry kids we're gonna hire a professional driver
30:40it won't be your dad
30:41guys can we go upstairs and talk about this before we vote
30:45you bet
30:46we await your verdict
30:51aloha
30:53god you are a hypocrite
31:02how
31:03ten years ago christmas we were standing in the scooter aisle at the toy store
31:09when i want to choose
31:10the twins big present
31:12you say tom
31:14when you start making the money
31:17you can start making the decisions
31:19you've been sitting on that for a decade
31:20you've been sitting on that for a decade
31:22wow well guess what i make the money big money more money than you ever did so i get to decide how we spend it
31:31we're supposed to be equal partners i just wanted to say in the process
31:34you want to control the process like you always do
31:37watch and you feel that power slipping away and you can't stand it
31:41you can't stand that i am running the show
31:44running the show are you kidding me we're talking about a family vacation
31:49not anymore we are not
31:50this is about how you can't handle my success
31:55no you can't handle your success you've turned into a pompous ass
32:00maybe because it's turned you into a raging bitch
32:02hey
32:06hey
32:12Lee, I am warning you.
32:35Once was funny, this time I will kill you.
32:38Get out of here.
32:42How's Penny?
33:06Really upset.
33:07She kept crying, saying how she didn't want to choose.
33:10I don't care where we go.
33:13We'll take the road trip.
33:15Not the vacation, Tom.
33:16She doesn't want to choose which one of us to live with.
33:19That is awful.
33:21Why would she think that?
33:23Why wouldn't she?
33:24She's seen it happen to three of her friends.
33:27We have always fought, Tom, but never like that.
33:30I know.
33:31It's got to stop.
33:32I agree.
33:33I mean, I'm scared to open my mouth for fear you're going to bite my head off.
33:36I'm sorry.
33:38Was that an olive branch?
33:43I'm no better, okay?
33:46I miss dinner four nights a week, and even when I am here, my mind is back at the office.
33:52I think we're the ones who need a vacation.
34:06Alone?
34:08Yeah.
34:10Not a big trip.
34:12Just a weekend.
34:13We can get a chance to be together and work through all of this.
34:18You're right.
34:18We should do it this weekend.
34:23You mean it?
34:24Yeah.
34:28I just have to check with the office.
34:30Oh, okay.
34:38But we are going to do it, right?
34:40You're not going to get all busy at the last minute.
34:42I said we'll do it, and we'll do it, okay?
34:43Okay.
34:44Okay.
34:45Okay.
34:48Hello, Susan.
34:54Hey, Dana.
34:55I got you your streamers.
34:57I splurged and bought the good ones.
34:59Blame retardant.
35:00Good.
35:01Oh, my God.
35:02Are those cookies for the open house?
35:04Oh, well, actually...
35:05You are a lifesaver.
35:07I just had two moms flake out on me.
35:09Really?
35:11Uh, well...
35:13I thought that might happen, so I faked some just in case.
35:18It's one of the things that makes a great teacher being ready for anything.
35:24You know, Susan, I haven't been your biggest supporter.
35:29Or maybe I misjudged you.
35:31Thanks for these.
35:32Let's find some time to sit down with Principal Hobson and talk about you coming back.
35:36Hello, Susan.
35:46Come on in.
35:47Meals on wheels.
35:48Well, shoes.
35:49But food on shoes doesn't sound as good.
35:52Today's special is lasagna.
35:54Would you like me to put it on a plate for you, or do you want to eat it later?
35:57I think I'll have it now.
35:58Well, in fact, I'd love for you to join me.
36:04Oh, I can't.
36:05Actually, I'm on my way to a function at MJ's school.
36:08I'm sure you have a few minutes.
36:10Sit down.
36:11Uh, I'm kind of in a rush.
36:13But it's not fair.
36:14You go to all this trouble to bring me these delicious meals, and we never share them.
36:19It pains me.
36:21Uh, Paul, what's going on?
36:26Fine.
36:27You're in a hurry.
36:29Why don't you stab me with this?
36:31It'll be faster.
36:32Or are you getting your kicks watching me die slowly?
36:34Okay, I have no idea what you're talking about.
36:38The food you're bringing me, Susan.
36:39It's poisoned.
36:41What?
36:41That's not possible.
36:43I had it tested.
36:44Come on.
36:45Have a bite.
36:46Paul.
36:47How could you do this to me?
36:49Is it because you want the house?
36:50Is it because you hate me?
36:52Okay, you have to believe me.
36:54I never put poison in your food.
36:56Well, somebody did.
36:57Was it Mike?
36:58No, it was just me.
37:00I'm the only one who...
37:02What?
37:04Oh, my God.
37:07The cookies.
37:08I've got to go.
37:09I've got to get to the school.
37:10Oh, Cindy.
37:21Cindy.
37:21The desserts.
37:22The desserts.
37:23My cookies.
37:23Have they put them out yet?
37:25Oh, yeah.
37:27They're just...
37:28Oh, I'm so sorry.
37:38Try the oatmeal raisin.
37:39Kathy, do you know how many points these are?
37:42You'll thank me tomorrow.
37:44Susan?
37:45What did you do to the parents' cows?
37:47They love you.
37:48Oh, great.
37:49Thanks for the cookie.
37:50Oh, which one of these is mine?
38:03Oh, I have no idea.
38:04We just put them all together.
38:06Oh.
38:08Whoops.
38:09Sorry.
38:10Oh, silly.
38:10Oh, okay.
38:11If I can have everyone's attention for a moment, please.
38:16Hi, I want to welcome all our wonderful parents.
38:19And I want to thank the decorating committee and those who made the refreshments.
38:25Oh, including Susan Delfino.
38:27Thank you, Susan, for those chocolate chip cookies.
38:29Oh, you're welcome.
38:31And about those cookies I've made, don't eat them.
38:35They're poison.
38:37No, no, this isn't a joke.
38:39My cookies will kill you.
38:41Oh, God.
38:48That's our officers.
38:53Yes.
38:54No matter who we are, we all experience moments of dread.
39:02When we ask ourselves, will anyone believe I'm innocent?
39:07Will my daughter be a child of divorce?
39:16Will this man break my heart?
39:19Are there things that go bump in the night?
39:25And sometimes, the answer is yes.
39:37No matter who we are, we are.
39:38I will.
39:48We'll be the khác would...
39:49We'll be the khác would...
39:49We'll be the one where we go.
39:50I think this man's accident won't be a lot.
39:54We think this man knows if we are out.
39:56We'll be the next dude.
39:56We know he knows how douche it is.
39:58We'll be delicious.
39:58We'll be the best.
40:00We'll be the best.
40:00We'll be the best.