- 5/9/2025
Category
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FunTranscript
00:00Good evening, everybody, and welcome to Who's Line Is It Anyway?
00:15At tonight's show, he has a good beat.
00:17Greg Kruitz, he really rocks.
00:20Wayne Brady, he's easy to dance to.
00:22Colin Mochrie, and you'll be humming it all night.
00:25Ryan Stiles!
00:27I'm your host, Drew Carey.
00:29Come on now, let's have some fun.
00:30I'm your host, Drew Carey.
01:00And they're going to just make it all up.
01:01And at the end of every game, I give them points.
01:03Just a little gag to hold the show together.
01:05Don't get excited about them.
01:06And then at the end of the show, I pick a winner,
01:08and the winner gets to do a little something with me.
01:11Get honest.
01:13Please.
01:14Is that what you think?
01:15If it was, I'd be doing it right now.
01:18So, if we're ready to start, let's go with Weird Newscasters.
01:21This is for all four of you.
01:22Colin, you're going to be anchorman of a news show.
01:25Greg, you're the co-anchor.
01:26You're a heckler.
01:29Sports is Wayne.
01:30You're a precocious, multi-talented child star.
01:34And Ryan, you're doing the weather.
01:36You're an angry NBA player about to get ejected.
01:41So you're like Carl Malone.
01:42About to get what?
01:43You're Carl Malone.
01:46So whenever you're ready and whenever you hear the music,
01:47go ahead and start Colin.
01:52Hello, I'm Jackson Goodreader.
01:57And you suck.
02:01Boring, boring.
02:03And welcome to the 6 o'clock news.
02:05Yawn.
02:06Unfortunately, everything happened at 3.48 today,
02:09so we have nothing to tell you.
02:11Over to you.
02:13Snore, snore.
02:16Nice haircut, Elizabeth.
02:19Nice top.
02:20You got the bottoms to those?
02:22Nice shirt.
02:26What's your average?
02:32Bring on the chicks.
02:38You're all right.
02:39I was just helping you.
02:41No, I was just helping you.
02:42Go on.
02:42I'm going to help you.
02:43Go on.
02:43Go on.
02:44I'm going to help you.
02:44Thank you for that insightful report.
02:47Shut up.
02:47And now over to sports.
02:51With Reginald, Reginald, Reg-o.
02:55That's Reginald, Reginald, Reginald.
02:57It's French.
02:58Today, all of the sports teams decided to get together and hold a little show.
03:10Starring me because everyone knows sports are fun.
03:14Because when the tennis players take a fall, John McEnroe likes to hit a ball and stall.
03:25I'm doing this for my mom.
03:27And now over to the weather.
03:38Let's see what's happening this week in weather.
03:40He was dancing, too.
03:42Yeah, thanks.
03:43As you can see, we've got a sunny weekend in store for the West Coast here.
03:47And moving on to the east over here, we've got some rain.
03:49Oh, touched that cloud there a little bit.
03:51Touch it.
03:52What?
03:54What are you talking about?
03:55I barely touched the cloud.
03:56What are you?
03:56What are you, a little man?
03:57What are you, a big man?
03:58Are you a little man?
03:59Is that what it is?
04:00Oh, you're kicking me out?
04:01I don't think you're kicking me out.
04:03Oh, you are?
04:04That's fine.
04:05Okay, that's fine.
04:06Okay, that's fine.
04:06I don't care.
04:07Fine, fine, fine, fine.
04:10Yeah!
04:12Well, back to Disicode News.
04:27Join us tomorrow for more news and more news stories.
04:30Good night.
04:30That was great.
04:43A thousand points for everybody.
04:44Of course, I have to subtract 500 points for Ryan, because he forgot to kick a photographer.
04:48Let's go on to a game called African Chant.
04:54It's called African Chant.
04:55This is for Wayne, with the help of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor on guitar.
04:58Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
05:00She's walked right back here.
05:02That's the guy I'm going to pick.
05:04Hello, how are you?
05:05What's your name, sir?
05:06My name's Pat.
05:07Pat, nice to meet you.
05:07What do you do for a living?
05:08I'm a sprinkler guy.
05:09Sprinkler guy.
05:10That's a good name for a thing.
05:11I trust you to do it.
05:12Okay, come on up here.
05:14Wayne, this is Pat.
05:20Pat's a sprinkler guy.
05:22Yeah.
05:23Yeah.
05:23And now this is something we're going to do.
05:27Ryan, Colin, and Greg are going to do backup for Wayne here.
05:30You're going to sing to Pat, the sprinkler guy, and you're going to do an African Chant.
05:43Right on.
05:52Pat, sprinkler guy.
05:55Pat, you're going to do it.
06:25Pat, you're going to do it.
06:55Pat, you're going to do it.
07:25that was great
07:27oh man
07:29oh
07:33did not let me back in africa after that one
07:38that'll make you a prince after that
07:40that was great
07:41hey i feel like it feels like rain
07:43how about you guys
07:43i think i just felt a couple sprinkles
07:47thousand fifty thousand thousand zillion thousand points now let's go on to a game called scenes
08:00from a hat scenes from a hat this is for all four of you i'll write a call on one side greg
08:04one on the other what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna take this very patriotic hat here and what we do
08:09is before the show we ask the audience to write down scenes they'd like to see and we're gonna
08:13have these guys come up with as many different examples of these scenes as we can let's start
08:17out state mottos rejected for license plates mississippi we do too have all our teeth
08:25utah thirty thousand wives can't be wrong
08:33miami the land that time remembered miami's a city
08:43florida not to be confused with miami
08:51montana how fast can you drive
08:58texas capital punishment rocks
09:05you got that right bubba
09:09what god created on an off day
09:13and i shall call it the other white meat
09:17hey buddy i'm paulie shore
09:26and they shall be known as the dodgers
09:35bad things to hear from the doctor who's operating on you
09:45good-looking wife you have
09:54you are my first patient in america
09:57whoo that's different
10:05fire me
10:11president clinton's things to do list
10:15switch to a pipe
10:20when having an affair pick someone good-looking
10:32okay thank you very much that's it we're gonna go to commercial we'll be right back with more who's line as of anyway right after this don't go anywhere
10:47welcome back to who's line anyway the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter
10:53that's right the points don't matter just like a congressman from rhode island
10:57wow we seem to have the entire state of rhode island
11:04now let's go on to a game called change emotion it's called change emotions for ryan collin and greg
11:13and what happens is uh these guys are going to act out a scene and uh these objects
11:17whoa whoa whoa whoa there you go
11:20safety first
11:21easy big fella
11:22yeah each item that i gave them uh has a particular emotion attached to it
11:26and whoever is holding it
11:28yeah
11:29who's ever holding the prop has to display that emotion
11:32and uh your scene is your big game hunters lost in the jungle
11:36and the canteen represents lust
11:38and uh
11:40jungle life
11:42the jungle knife represents fury like you're furious if you're holding the jungle knife
11:47so uh go ahead and start the scene why are there so many trees in the jungle
11:53hey calm down they're part of the ecosystem dude
11:57look you're only on this trip because we needed someone to carry the pack
12:02whoa you need to take it
12:07we need that water
12:09we're almost out of water all the liquid's almost gone
12:12you don't have it anymore you take care of it god you look really strong with that knife
12:18i've never noticed the cut of your jib before but you're my kind of explorer
12:23make it easy why don't you let me cut the trail for a little while no let me lick the trail clean
12:28all right maybe he's right
12:29all right maybe he's right
12:33what's uncalled for excuse me sorry excuse me i'm the head of the expedition this is not right
12:43yes run through the forest and cut down the plants since it's already in you you're having some issues aren't you
12:48yes yes i am well mr third wheel will just bleed over here if it's all right with you
12:56oh don't be such a grouse here i'll take it out oh look at the mess you made oh clean that off
13:03will you clean this do you have to do everything on this yeah yes i will
13:18that was a thousand points now don't play with them on the way home without watching a car accident
13:29now let's go on to a game called greatest hits this is for colin ryan and
13:33wayne with the help of laura hall on piano linda taylor on guitar
13:41colin ryan our uh tv commercial guys talking about a big compilation album
13:46that you're trying to sell and they're going to try to get wayne to sing different types of
13:49the songs and make them up for him try to trick him up uh what we need from the audience is something
13:52you look for in the yellow pages exterminator exterminator exterminator exterminator
14:00so uh the album is songs of the exterminator good luck wayne we'll be back to our nature documentary
14:09baggie the anorexic elephant in just a second
14:19hey colin yes ryan question is this cd set safe for the kids answer yes it is and not only that it's
14:26cholesterol free all right moving right along we put together 60 songs on a two cd set about the
14:36exterminator that's right we have more hits than dodgers opponents and we're going to start off
14:43with one of our favorite rockabillies straight from the stray cats ooh a spider
14:53hey well i just moved into a house just the other day
14:59when i saw an arachnid coming around my way that thing was so big that i could ride her oh my god
15:09it's a spider come on a little spider why don't you make a wave oh little spider you have got a lens
15:18oh spider don't you see help me
15:32you know the range of artists on this cd set is incredible i think one of my favorites would be
15:37the great eartha kit hit kit hit the great eartha kit hit you go under the house
15:56darling
16:01i've just moved in to a new place
16:08but under the house is a place i can't face
16:14you need to find some raid on the shelf
16:20and go under the house your own damn cell
16:24and go under the house
16:29and go under the house because i'm afraid of the spiders and of the mouse
16:39it still brings a tear to your eye doesn't it sure it does those days are gone yeah
16:53but are they yeah they are but you know we have more hits than you can possibly think about one of my
17:06personal favorite artists is the wonderful artist named cher and although i loved much of her late
17:11stuff her early stuff was the stuff that i really really loved it was good stuff let's not say stuff
17:19anymore okay but do you remember this great hit ants rats and gypsy moths
17:26i've got a rodents and pills stuck in my hair
17:36oh lordy please forgive me i need
17:39someone to save me from the ants the roaches and the gypsy moths
18:00the gypsy moths stay by my feet
18:05and the ants they move to this feet
18:11and i want them all in the hall and go
18:13and give them all for the love
18:15and all the love of gypsy moths
18:28don't go away we'll be right back with more who's our news and anyway find out who the winner is
18:39hey welcome back to who's our news and anyway tonight's winner by sun strange briefing is
18:45right proofs i don't know how it happened but there we are
18:51what we're going to do the rest of us have to be punished we're going to be doing uh doing a
18:54hoedown for you uh big old hoedown without the laura hall on the piano
19:00uh what i need from the audience what any of you guys i need a suggestion of a group of people that you
19:05hate
19:07village people village people let's do the village people hoedown
19:21i love the village people now please don't get me wrong i love ymca hey girl that's my song
19:28but you see in francisco's where they belong and all them village people inspired me to wear my thong
19:35i love the village people they give me confidence even though i'm not too bright i am rather dense
19:50i have a fat white body and i don't have a tan but when i put on leather pants i am a macho man
20:03about the village people i have a lot of facts did you know they made a movie yes they axed it really
20:17is quite wonderful i can't believe my eyes if you laid them end to end i wouldn't be surprised
20:31i don't like the village people think they're kind of rude don't you know their lyrics can be
20:38kind of crude when it's on my stereo i always hit the mute but i'll have to admit the indians kind of
20:46cute
21:01uh we're going to end the show tonight with brian and greg reading the credits and i want you to read
21:05the credits like uh two frat boys spending spring break at a crowded beach so uh go ahead and start
21:10good night everybody we'll see you next time on who's line
21:12oh
21:19oh man
21:21oh
21:27keith richmond's wearing a thong that's nice
21:29oh
21:40dude
21:42dude the show is over
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