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00:00Good evening, and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:05On tonight's show, I knew you'd come from calling back.
00:08Wayne Brady, haven't you hurt me enough?
00:10Denny Siegel, I should have changed the locks.
00:13Colin Moffrey, and I told you never to call me again.
00:16Ryan Stiles, and I'm Drew Carey, your host.
00:19Come on now, let's have some fun.
00:30Welcome. Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:36The show that asks the question, whose line is it anyway?
00:43If you never saw the show before, it's how it works.
00:46These performers here have to come out and make up sketches and skits
00:48based on suggestions on these cards that they've never seen before
00:51and based on suggestions from the audience.
00:53They have to make it up right on the spot, off the top of their heads.
00:56It's really fun to watch.
00:56And then at the end of every little game that we play,
00:59we award points that don't matter at all.
01:02And at the end of the show, I pick a winner,
01:05and they get to do a little something with me.
01:11And, well, off camera, on camera, it's still fun.
01:16First game I'm going to play is a game called Questions Only.
01:18It's for all four of you.
01:19Denny and Wayne, they're going to start a scene,
01:21but they can only speak in questions.
01:22That's all they're going to do, is speak in questions.
01:24And if one of them goes wrong, I'll hit the buzzer here,
01:27and then the person behind them will take their place.
01:29And we'll see who does the best at...
01:30Who do's the best.
01:31We'll see who...
01:32We'll see who does the best at this.
01:36Your scene is, trouble breaks out in a Wild West saloon.
01:39Trouble breaks out in a Wild West saloon.
01:41Questions only. Go ahead.
01:43Bing, bing!
01:43Can you dance for me, girl?
01:45Can I dance?
01:47How do you like that, apples?
01:49What the hell you call that?
01:50You think you can just come in here and scare me?
01:53You don't think I've seen tougher types than you come in my bar?
01:56Shake-a-ching-a-ching-a-ching-a-ching-a-ing.
01:59Don't you want a real man?
02:05Have you got the time?
02:14Have I got the time?
02:15Would you happen to know where the O.K. Corral is?
02:19What kind of pansy English man are you?
02:24Y'all from around these parts?
02:27You should've...
02:30How's it going?
02:34Any request?
02:35What do you play?
02:36Do you know the way to San Jose?
02:40How does that go?
02:41Can you help me if I told you I've got the bandit upstairs tied up in my bedroom?
02:51What?
02:58Do you know how to undo a knot made from a bathrobe cord?
03:01Do you mean the hangman knot?
03:04Is there any other worth doing?
03:05Do I look like a Boy Scout?
03:08Yes, you do.
03:09Do you know?
03:18Can you do it on key?
03:22What key would you like it in?
03:24G or F?
03:29Have you seen that woman who hog-tied me upstairs?
03:31What'd she look like?
03:33What'd she look like?
03:35Would you believe that she's about 5'10 with a goatee?
03:38Are you talking about Mr. Kitty?
03:42Do you know her?
03:44Doesn't everyone in this town know her?
03:46Can you let me get a gun so I can go after her?
03:48What kind of gun you got?
03:51Big one?
03:53Okay.
03:54That was great.
03:56Thank you very much.
03:57I think I'll award the first 100 points to Ryan for his fine impression of a piano player.
04:06This next game is called Song Styles.
04:13It's for Wayne Brady with the help of Laura Hall on the piano.
04:15Laura Hall!
04:20Watch out.
04:21Come right behind the camera.
04:22Pardon me.
04:23Excuse me.
04:23Come right behind the camera here.
04:24What's your name?
04:25Marie.
04:26Marie.
04:26And do you have any hobbies?
04:27What do you like to do for this song?
04:28Step aerobics.
04:29Step aerobics.
04:30Oh, that's better than reading or anything.
04:31Come on here.
04:31Wayne, this is Marie.
04:41She likes to step, dance, and aerobicize.
04:45So you're going to sing a song about Marie who likes to dance, and you'll be singing in
04:48the style of Prince.
04:56Woo!
04:59Woo!
05:01Let me tell you something.
05:03I think you have a red.
05:07Oh, I've seen you in aerobic class.
05:11Going up and down your stairs.
05:13Woo!
05:15Oh, it looks so good.
05:18Your body you can't hide.
05:20I like the way that you stare from side to side.
05:24That is right.
05:25I want you even more.
05:27I want you to do your calisthenics across the floor.
05:31Come on and dance with me.
05:32Woo!
05:34I want you to dance with me.
05:37Woo!
05:38Woo!
05:38Oh, oh.
05:40I've seen you dancing from side to side.
05:44Woo!
05:44Woo!
05:44Woo!
05:47When I said I didn't like the way you danced, I lied.
05:51Woo!
05:52Woo!
05:52Woo!
05:52Woo!
05:53You make me go.
05:54You
06:02Come on and dance
06:05Dance with me
06:07Dance with me
06:09Oh, let's dance
06:10Oh, let's dance
06:11Oh, let's dance
06:14Oh, let's dance
06:15Take your little chance
06:17Put on your pointy shoes
06:19And kick away your blues
06:21And just dance
06:22I said D-A-N-C-E-M-E-L
06:25Thank you, dude.
06:39Woo!
06:47You know, I'd give you points for that,
06:49but I'm never going to be able to get that screech out of my head.
06:51Oh, Drew!
06:52Oh, man, oh, man.
06:56Let's go on to a game I love.
06:58This is one of my favorite games.
06:59It's called Dead Bodies.
07:01This is for Ryan and Colin and Denny.
07:04What are you going to do?
07:07I'm way over to here.
07:11Can you pretend to be dead for us?
07:14Come here.
07:14You're going to pretend to be dead.
07:18Okay, come on up.
07:19What's your name?
07:19Do you want to meet Colin and Ryan and everything?
07:22And what's going to happen, Mary, is you're going to have to pretend to be dead.
07:28And because the idea is that you and Ryan come to a theater to act out a scene and you died.
07:34But the show has to go on, so Colin is going to act out the scene as if you're not dead.
07:39And then Denny's going to enter the scene later and die.
07:41So you're all dead, so go limp like you're dead.
07:45Limper.
07:46More limp.
07:47Oh, yeah, there you go.
07:49Colin, this is the scene you're acting out.
07:51This is a scene that was deleted from The Graduate.
07:56Mrs. Rob, you're dead.
07:57Don't smile.
07:58You're dead.
08:00Dead people will laugh.
08:01Mrs. Robinson is seducing Benjamin when her daughter comes in.
08:04Hello, Benjamin.
08:31I'm so glad you came over.
08:33I'm having trouble with my cable.
08:45I believe you're trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson.
08:48Mom, can I borrow the...
08:50What's going on here?
08:55I can't believe, Mom, that you're here with my boyfriend.
08:59Oh.
09:00Huh?
09:00No, that's all.
09:08Act like adults.
09:10It's just...
09:11Act like adults.
09:13You're stealing my boyfriend.
09:16There's enough of me for everybody.
09:18Benjamin, it's time for you to make a choice.
09:37Yes, a choice.
09:38Eeny, meeny, miny, miny, moe.
09:48Whoever gives me the deepest, longest kiss...
09:51That will determine who I will stay with.
09:58All right.
10:01Sounds good.
10:02Sounds good.
10:06Hey!
10:20We're going to go see a commercial.
10:45We'll come back.
10:46We'll have lots more.
10:46Whose line is it anywhere?
10:50Welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
10:57Hey, listen.
10:57If you're thinking of cuddling with the wife later, I want you to remember this face.
11:03Okay.
11:03Lots of luck to you.
11:04Now, let's play a game called Sound Effects.
11:08This is for Colin and Ryan.
11:09What's going to happen is Colin's going to improvise a scene.
11:12And he's going to have to respond to sound effects made by Ryan.
11:14Here's your microphone.
11:15And Colin, your scene is you're a hairdresser on a busy day, and your colleagues have all phoned in sick.
11:23So, whenever you're ready, go.
11:26Beep, beep, beep, boop, boop.
11:27What's going to happen is you're a hairdresser on a busy day, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you're a hairdresser, and you
11:58AUGH!
12:02O-o-o-oh-oh, ugh!
12:06Here we go.
12:07Here we go, there we go...
12:14Oh, shit!
12:15Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
12:21Pfft!
12:23Ha-ha-ha!
12:24Whoa!
12:26Ah!
12:54Oh, hmm.
13:14Oh.
13:15Ah!
13:15Ah!
13:16Ah!
13:24Well, I think somebody has a little anger for places that cut your hair.
13:36Now, let's go on to a game called Weird Newscasters.
13:39This is for all four of you.
13:41On this game, Denny, you're going to be anchor of a news show, local news program,
13:44and with the help of Colin, Wayne, and Ryan.
13:46Colin, you're the co-anchor.
13:48Colin, you'll be acting out scenes from a soap opera.
13:50Doing sports is Wayne.
13:55Wayne, you're a middle-aged woman who's proud of her body.
14:02And, Ryan, you're going to do the weather.
14:03Ryan, you're Tarzan, sensing that your woman is in danger.
14:10So, whenever you hear the music, Denny, go ahead and start the show.
14:13Hello, and welcome to the 6 o'clock evening news.
14:21I'm your anchor, Ling Ling, and I feel most comfortable in a leafy environment.
14:25Our top story tonight.
14:28Automakers have found that people who believe in reincarnation are less likely to wear a seatbelt.
14:34And now, for more news, over to my co-anchor, Rusty Nail.
14:38Rusty.
14:38How can you be so calm, Ling Ling, while you're carrying my baby?
14:58I'm not even sure if it is my baby.
15:00It could be my brother, Rogers, the aerobics instructor with a difference.
15:04My God, doesn't it matter that I have a rare tropical disease?
15:12That I'm slowly...
15:14Where am I?
15:18Thank you very much, Rusty.
15:20And now, on to sports with our sports guy, Rusty Bumper.
15:24Rusty, over to you.
15:27Hello.
15:28Hello.
15:29Hello.
15:29In sports today, the Rams are doing it, and doing it well, as L.L. would say.
15:37The important thing about these guys is they're in shape, just like me.
15:41Who would have thunk 15 kids and damn, look at that.
15:46That's what I'm talking about.
15:52Thank you, Rusty.
15:53This just in.
15:54I feel that much worse about my big old flabby butt.
15:57And now, over to the weather with Rusty Can.
16:01Rusty.
16:05Rain, come weekend.
16:06Make thing wet.
16:13Monday, sun, come out.
16:15Make thing warm.
16:16Dry out.
16:19Jane, trouble.
16:21Jane.
16:22Jane.
16:22Jane.
16:24Oh!
16:24Oh!
16:24Oh!
16:27Jane!
16:36Jane!
16:38Angry giraffe, take Jane!
16:50Ah!
16:51Ah!
16:52Me got Jane.
16:53Oh, no, Jane.
16:57Ugly man.
17:00Thank you, Rusty.
17:01And that's all the time we have for the 6 o'clock news.
17:04Join us later at 11, and good night!
17:06Hey!
17:07I'm going to give 100 points each to the people sitting behind me, because they look so perky.
17:21Now let's play a game called Hoedown.
17:23Everybody's favorite game.
17:27They love the Hoedown.
17:28What I need from the audience is a suggestion of a major event in your life.
17:39Birth!
17:39Birth!
17:40Birth!
17:40Birth!
17:41Birth!
17:42Birth was a good one.
17:43I like that one.
17:44So let's hear the birth hoedown.
17:47Thank goodness for my mom that I was made
17:58It was 27 years ago that my dad got laid
18:02That's right, you see
18:04Upon closer inspection
18:06I'm standing here
18:08Cause he didn't use protection
18:10When a woman gives birth
18:20Her man is filled with pride
18:22All through the delivery
18:23He stands right by her side
18:26But nine times out of ten
18:28She'll say to him
18:28You jerk!
18:29You got to do the fun part
18:31And now I do all the work!
18:33Woo!
18:33Woo!
18:34Woo!
18:34Woo!
18:35Woo!
18:35Woo!
18:36Woo!
18:36Woo!
18:37Woo!
18:37Woo!
18:38Woo!
18:38Woo!
18:39Woo!
18:39Woo!
18:40Woo!
18:40Woo!
18:40Woo!
18:42Ellen is my wife
18:43The other day she gave birth
18:45It was the most beautiful thing
18:47On this God's earth
18:48When I saw her do it
18:50I said,
18:51Oh my God, dear Ellen
18:52Looking from this angle
18:54Looks like a straw
18:55Passing a melon
18:56Woo!
18:56Woo!
18:57Woo!
18:57Woo!
18:58Woo!
18:58Woo!
18:59Woo!
18:59Woo!
19:00Woo!
19:00Woo!
19:01Woo!
19:01Woo!
19:02Woo!
19:02Woo!
19:03Woo!
19:04Woo!
19:04I came out of my mother
19:06At exactly ten to five
19:08Everyone screamed their
19:10I ran and yelled
19:11It's alive
19:12I can't really blame them
19:14I guess it was kinda scary
19:15Everyone tells me I resembled
19:19Drew Carey
19:19Don't go away
19:27We're going to go to commercial
19:28Find out who the winner is
19:29And uh, let me go and get to you so much more and come back
19:32With more Who's Line Is It Anyway
19:33We're going to go for this
19:34We have Kill Ryan
19:35And uh, Wayne you're going to tell us our scene we're going to do a game called stand sit and bend in this game one of us must always be standing one must always be sitting one must always be bending over and if anybody changes positions the other guys have to make it up for them
19:50And uh, Wayne you're going to tell us our scene we're going to do a game we're going to do a game called stand sit and bend in this game one of us must always be standing one must always be sitting one must always be bending over and if anybody changes positions the other guys have to make it up for them
20:05Uh, Wayne what's our scene?
20:06Drew and Ryan, two Cleveland Indians fans have turned up at the big game to find that Colin, a rival fan, is sitting in Ryan's seat
20:14Uh, excuse me, um, Ryan isn't that your seat right there?
20:22Oh, I don't feel so
20:22Go, go, go!
20:24Who are you rooting for anyway pal?
20:26The other guys
20:27Well we're all Cleveland fans here buddy, Cleveland fans!
20:31Yeah, that's right
20:32And we don't cotton any of you Canadians coming over here
20:35Oh yeah?
20:36Yeah
20:36Oh yeah?
20:37Yeah
20:37Well kiss this
20:39Maybe I don't want to kiss this
20:46Yeah
20:46I'm going to knock your block off
20:47Oh yeah?
20:51That's my seat, I'm not moving
20:54Oh yeah?
20:55Yeah
20:55What if I make you?
20:56Give me that seat back
20:58No, I got it
20:59What are you going to do now?
20:59I'll sit here
21:00Oh, I'll sit here?
21:01Jay, I got a plan
21:02Look, maybe we could get this guy out of the seat by buying him off
21:05I don't like your plan
21:06I didn't have it
21:07Oh
21:08I don't like your plan
21:10That was my plan, don't you remember?
21:12Well, let me think about it
21:14Oh, well
21:15I'm just going to get a hot dog
21:16Oh, did you see that?
21:18Oh my gosh!
21:19Oh, did you see that?
21:20Oh my gosh!
21:20I can't believe it!
21:22Come on!
21:23Come on!
21:23Come on!
21:28I can't see you later
21:30Thank you for watching
21:30He's live in with everybody
21:31Good night
21:31We'll be right back
21:41We'll be right back
21:45We'll be right back