- 5/11/2025
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FunTranscript
00:00Good evening and welcome to Who's Line? Is it Anyway?
00:05Tonight's performers, the man with the dirty last name, Greg Proops.
00:09He's what's for dinner, Wayne Brady.
00:11The handsomest man in Canada, Colin Mochrie.
00:14And his son, Ryan Stiles.
00:18And I'm your host, Sue Carey. Welcome to Who's Line. Come on, let's have some fun.
00:30And welcome to Who's Line? Is it Anyway?
00:33The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
00:38How the show works is during the show, we're going to ask our performers to come up
00:41and they're going to totally make up in front of you scenes based on suggestions that we give them
00:46and the audience gives them.
00:47They've never seen any of the material before.
00:49They don't know what's going to happen to them.
00:51It'll be really fun.
00:52And then I award them points based on my whimsy.
00:56And the points don't matter because at the end of the show, I just pick the guy I like the best.
00:59And he wins.
01:01And then we get to do a scene together at the end of the show.
01:03So let's get things started.
01:04You ready to see the first game?
01:05Yeah.
01:09The first game we're going to do is called Let's Make a Date.
01:12This is for all four of you.
01:14Ryan, Colin, and Wayne are going to be contestants on a dating type show.
01:16I hope it will be picked by Greg, who's lonely and desperate.
01:20And each of them has been given a strange characteristic or ability.
01:26I'd like to remind you they haven't seen these before.
01:27It's the first time they're having a look at them.
01:31Oh, they're very happy.
01:33Greg's going to question them about the chances of getting a date
01:36and then try to guess who they are at the end of the game.
01:38Anytime you're ready.
01:39Contestant number one.
01:41Hi.
01:42Hello, girl.
01:46You're a jolly sort.
01:48That's because I don't let things get to me.
01:51Sometimes they might get to me, but they don't get to me.
01:58All right.
01:59Number one.
02:00I love holidays.
02:02If I was a turkey, what would you stuff me with?
02:05Oh, girl, that's pretty simple.
02:07I'd stuff you with croutons.
02:11I'd stuff you with sauce.
02:15I'd stuff you.
02:19Number two.
02:20Hi.
02:23Nice to...
02:23Hi.
02:26Are you okay?
02:28All right.
02:30Okay.
02:32Hi.
02:33Hi.
02:33Number three.
02:48Hi.
02:50Hello.
02:50It's nice to be here.
02:51Hi.
02:52Hello.
02:52Hello.
02:52How are you?
02:53Fine.
02:53Thank you very much.
02:54Good.
02:55Listen.
02:55Yo, Kiero Lovin.
02:57Hey, where would you take me for a romantic evening?
03:00I suppose we'd go out to a movie.
03:01Maybe dinner after that.
03:02Dinner, mashed potatoes, gravy.
03:04I guarantee you have a great night.
03:06I'll have you home by 10.
03:07I hear 11.
03:07I hear 12.
03:08I don't know.
03:09I'm going to be over there sometime.
03:16Number one.
03:18Yeah, girl.
03:18Yeah.
03:21I'm a late sleeper.
03:22What's it like for you when you first get up in the morning?
03:24I think to myself, I'm feeling low, and I need some lovin' to get me up.
03:29And I stretch, and I stretch, and I think about you, because there ain't no secret to what
03:35you can do.
03:37I love you.
03:38Oh, yeah.
03:39I love you.
03:40I swear.
03:41I love you.
03:42Oh, yeah.
03:43I'm growing fond of you as well.
03:52Number two.
03:54I like to keep in shape, and I like to run around in the park.
03:58What do you do to keep in shape?
04:00Same thing.
04:01Throw the ball.
04:02Throw the ball.
04:03Throw the ball.
04:03Number three.
04:14Yeah.
04:14Hello.
04:15Hello.
04:15Hello.
04:16Hi.
04:17Hi.
04:17Hi.
04:17I like to go to those discount restaurants, because it's cheaper.
04:20How much would you spend on a dinner?
04:21Oh, I couldn't say.
04:22I'd probably spend $5, $10, maybe $20.
04:24I just want to impress you.
04:25I want to impress you as much as I can.
04:26I want to sleep with you once.
04:27I want to sleep with you twice.
04:29And so.
04:33Uh, Kooky, would you like to guess?
04:39All right, Drew.
04:40I think number one is a blues singer.
04:42Yeah, I love blues singers.
04:46Number two is a spotted jackal from the Serengeti Plains.
04:51He's a dog.
04:52Yeah, an excitable dog.
04:54A haughty dog.
04:56And number three is extremely hyper.
04:58I think he's an auctioneer of some guests.
05:03That was great.
05:0850 points to Colin for sticking his tongue out so much.
05:13Now we come to a game called Sound Effects.
05:15This is for Colin and Ryan.
05:16Colin, you're going to improvise a scene,
05:18and you'll have to respond to sound effects made by Ryan.
05:21Here's your microphone, Ryan.
05:22And your scene is you're an ambulance driver on your first emergency call.
05:29An ambulance driver on his first emergency call.
05:31Take it away.
05:32Oh, just like that.
05:36Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.
05:43Oh, jeez.
06:13Oh, jeez.
06:43Oh, jeez.
07:13Oh, jeez.
07:43Oh, jeez.
08:13This is a rapid-fire game, and each of you ask to, as fast as possible, come up with
08:17as many examples of the world's worst dating service video.
08:20The world's worst dating service video.
08:23Colin and Ryan, you're going to start.
08:25I may taste like butter.
08:31I like to take things as they come, and I'm all one for letting our love grow.
08:41Just use your imagination.
08:55I hope you don't mind sand in everything.
09:05I'd like to ask you out.
09:10All I need is a little courage.
09:11I'm just one flame looking for another.
09:19I'll be the best date you ever had.
09:27And that's no croc.
09:32Hi.
09:33I've been trapped on a desert island for the last seven years, with a movie star and a professor,
09:38and I need it.
09:40I'd like to take you out for a few drinks, but I'm a miner.
09:48I am predicting a lot of booty tonight.
10:02Come on, I'm horny.
10:09That's great.
10:10They call me Black Angus.
10:11I see great things in the future for us.
10:20I know.
10:22I've got crystal balls.
10:29Sugar.
10:30Maboto like virgin.
10:35Thank you very much.
10:37We'll be right back with more.
10:38Whose line is it anyway right after this?
10:39Don't go away.
10:41Welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway, the show where everything is made up and the points
10:51don't matter.
10:53I don't know how many points to award because during the commercial I was taking off my pants.
10:58That's right.
10:59Okay, now we go on to a game called Greatest Hits.
11:01This is for Colin, Ryan, and Wayne with the help of Laura Hall on the keyboards.
11:05Laura Hall.
11:08We just found her outside before the show.
11:10Can you believe it?
11:11Colin and Ryan are TV voiceover people and you're going to be talking about the latest
11:15compilation album and Wayne, you're going to sing snippets of the songs.
11:18What we need from the audience is the kind of profession you wouldn't normally sing a song
11:22about.
11:24Accounting!
11:27Okay, I heard a lot of accounting.
11:31Don't know how you're going to do it, but good luck.
11:33I think your album is Songs of Accounting.
11:37Hi!
11:38Sorry to interrupt.
11:39We'll be back to the 24-hour Drew Carey network in just a moment.
11:43But first, we've got a special offer for you.
11:45You know, many people think accountants are boring.
11:47Isn't it?
11:48They are!
11:49But out of great boredom comes great songs, and we've come up with a 25,000-hour CD filled
11:57with Songs of Accounting.
11:59That's right.
12:00We have, Colin.
12:01Many different songs.
12:02Don't forget that disco favorite.
12:04D-I-V-O-R-C-E-I-R-S.
12:07D-I-V-O-R-C-E-R-S.
12:37D-I-R-S.
12:39Yeah!
12:41I say D-I-V-O-R-C-E-I-R-S.
12:48Oh, come on.
12:49Come on.
12:56For me, that brings back memories of big pants and shoes with fish in the heels.
13:03Enough about yesterday.
13:05Every song a hit, every hit a smack.
13:07But you know what?
13:10I even have a song on this.
13:11Remember that?
13:11You do not.
13:12But we don't have time to listen to it.
13:14What we do have time to listen to is that great song from the swing era,
13:18Your Love Has Bankrupted Me.
13:19Because I would bet seven, hoping that your love would take me all the way to heaven.
13:36But I guess when you gamble, you've got no luck, your love has left me bankrupt.
13:43Oh, chapter 11 of the heart's what I got.
13:45It's hot, chapter 11 of the heart's what I got.
13:48And whether you've got me, ain't got nobody sick, it's trapped, all that means it's what I am.
13:54Because your love has left me bankrupt.
13:57Why don't you get out of here?
13:58Oh, yeah.
14:06Hey, Colin.
14:07What?
14:07How much money would you pay for a two-CD set like this?
14:10Oh, I don't know.
14:11$39?
14:11Unfortunately, it's $69.95.
14:17But I was talking $39 in a foreign currency, which doesn't quite...
14:23Add more than that.
14:25All because the hits keep on coming.
14:28Who could ever forget that early rock and roll favorite, deduct this.
14:36Woo!
14:39Here's something I know you see.
14:41You better, better save all your receipts, because you better save them, because you do the best.
14:47Woo!
14:48Because if you don't, you save your receipts, and act like a deduct, you better believe me,
14:53because an IRS deduct this.
14:56Woo!
14:58D-duct, you're screwed.
15:01Don't save it, now you'll sue them, yeah.
15:04Woo!
15:04Woo!
15:05Woo!
15:06Woo!
15:06Woo!
15:07Woo!
15:07Woo!
15:08Woo!
15:08Woo!
15:09Woo!
15:09You better deduct it.
15:11Woo!
15:22Woo!
15:22Now, normally I give Wayne all the points, but something about the way Greg was tapping his toes.
15:30That's right, baby, see me in my trailer after the show.
15:33Now, we're going to play a game called Party Quirks.
15:36This is for Greg, you're going to be hosting a party, and Wayne, Colin, and Ryan are going
15:39to be the guests.
15:40Each of you have a strange quirk or identity that's written into these envelopes.
15:42This is the first time they've ever seen them, and what Greg has to do is guess...
15:47So, Greg, why don't you come over and start the party.
15:52Wayne, Colin, and Ryan, you line up over there, and I'll buzz you in with the doorbell here.
15:56And whenever you're ready, Greg, start the party.
15:57Yeah.
15:58It's a Spice Girls party.
15:59Since they're missing one, I'm the new one, Specky Spice.
16:01There's the bell.
16:05Hello, Wayne.
16:07Can I get you a corn chip or something?
16:25Hey, you just relax over there.
16:30Hi, Colin.
16:32Hi.
16:33How are you?
16:34Have you met Wayne?
16:36He's fighting a series of bad guys in slow motion.
16:41He thinks he's in a movie.
16:42Very good.
16:43Much enough.
16:44Colin, can I get you a drink?
16:45Ah!
16:46Ah!
16:47Ah!
16:48Ah!
16:50Ah!
16:51Ah!
16:52Ah!
16:53Ah!
16:54Ah!
16:55Ah!
16:56Ah!
16:57Ah!
16:58Ah!
16:59Ah!
17:00Hello.
17:01Hey, Greg, it's okay.
17:02Hello, Ryan.
17:03Hi, guys.
17:15Ah!
17:16I guess the game of Twister is out of the car.
17:46Colin, Ryan, have you met Colin? He's a trapeze artist. He's a high wire act in the circus. He thinks he's in a circus. He's a very unsuccessful dancer.
17:57That's right. That's what he is.
18:01And who wants their bottle? Who wants their bottle? Who was just born and is a bizarre dog-like creature?
18:09All the points I have left go to Ryan for sticking your face there. I could have done that.
18:20Ryan, anything for laugh styles.
18:25That's how I got the job in the other show.
18:29That's right.
18:34All right, hey, stay tuned when we come back. We'll find out who the winner is.
18:37I'll get to play a little improv game with me and watch these commercials.
18:40We'll be back with more Who's Line Is It Anyway?
18:47Hey, welcome back to Who's Line Is It Anyway?
18:49Tonight's winner, Wayne Brady.
18:50Wayne Brady, a big winner tonight.
18:55Wayne and I are going to improvise a scene called foreign film dubs.
18:58What's going to happen is you guys are going to suggest a foreign language.
19:00We're going to fake it.
19:02And Ryan and Greg are going to interpret for us.
19:05And Colin's just going to sit there and look busy.
19:07Let's have a name of a language you're lucky.
19:11What did you say?
19:14Farsi. Farsi.
19:18Excuse me?
19:19Farsi.
19:20Okay.
19:21They speak in Iran.
19:22Oh.
19:23We need a name of a film title.
19:25Banished on the Breezes.
19:27Banished on the Breezes.
19:28Banished on the Breezes in Farsi.
19:30And you're going to interpret for me and you're going to interpret for Wayne.
19:33Okay.
19:34Ready?
19:35Banished on the Breezes.
19:36Ha.
19:37Everything is gone.
19:38The Breeze has come and blown things away.
19:53I think my camel is dead.
19:57It's gone.
19:58It's gone.
19:59It's gone.
20:00It's gone.
20:01It's gone.
20:02And all you can do is stand there and go.
20:04We're going to miss Baywatch.
20:05I have constructed a television using these tin cans and this hand drill that managed to
20:11stay.
20:12Many years ago I worked in a club.
20:13a club.
20:14a club.
20:15a club.
20:16a club.
20:17a club.
20:18I can't say what type.
20:19I can't say what type.
20:20yet I am ashamed.
20:21a club.
20:22a club.
20:23a club.
20:24a club.
20:25a club.
20:26a club.
20:27a club.
20:28a club.
20:29a club.
20:30a club.
20:31a club.
20:32a club.
20:33a club.
20:34a club.
20:35a club.
20:36a club.
20:38a club.
20:39many years ago I worked in a club.
20:46I can't say what type.
20:48yet I am ashamed.
20:51I remember your dancing, you went by the name of
20:59Here is a schniffnik
21:03It is the traditional money that I give the dancer
21:05Who pleases me so well
21:06Now dance, clap clap
21:21Thank you very much
21:26Hey, we're out of time
21:27Thanks for watching Hugh Binder
21:29We'll see you again soon
21:30Good night
21:51We'll see you again soon
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