Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Good evening and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:05Tonight on the show, international supervillain, Greg Poops.
00:09Selfie double agent, Wayne Brady.
00:11Baby-faced assassin, Colin Lockery.
00:14And the man known only as the Puma, Ryan Stiles.
00:18I'm your host, Sue Kerry. Come on, let's go have some fun.
00:27Whoa.
00:30Hello, hello.
00:32And welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:34The show where everything's made up but the points don't matter.
00:36We have a great show for you tonight.
00:37And what happens if you never saw the show before is all these guys have to come up into the center stage here
00:41and they have to make up right on the spot, off the top of their head, little skits and games for you.
00:46And they're based on the suggestions on these cards, which they've never seen before,
00:49and suggestions from the audience.
00:51And then at the end of each game, I give them points.
00:53And the points don't mean a thing.
00:54But I give them anyway because I love them.
00:57And what happens at the end of the game, I try to pick a winner.
01:00Or winners, and they get to do a little something special with me.
01:06Which may or may not make it to the air, but we're going to do something special anyway.
01:09The first game we're going to play is a game called Let's Make a Date.
01:11This is for all four of you.
01:13Ryan, Colin, and Greg are going to be contestants on a dating-type show, hoping to be picked by Wayne.
01:17But on these little cards here, we've given them each a little strange characteristic or identity.
01:21This is the first time they're seeing what's in the envelopes here.
01:23Wayne's going to give them questions about who he wants to go out with and try to guess who they are by the end of the game.
01:26What's up?
01:34This Wayne, whenever you're ready.
01:37That's number one.
01:42I love a man who loves his body because I love muscles.
01:46Now, I like a man who likes to work.
01:52Excuse me, can I interrupt for just a second?
01:54Oh, but please.
01:55How old are you?
02:01That's number one.
02:02You don't ask a woman's age.
02:04Oh, I'm sorry.
02:05That's number two.
02:07Hey.
02:07That's number two.
02:14Yeah.
02:14What's your favorite type of entertainment on a hot, dusty Saturday morning?
02:19Well, I usually like to go on a picnic.
02:21What the?
02:23Ah!
02:24Ah!
02:26Ah!
02:26At ease!
02:27At ease!
02:34Easy, easy.
02:35I want you to know that I feel your pain.
02:40Bachelor number three.
02:42Hello.
02:42Hello there.
02:43Good morning.
02:44Good morning to you.
02:46If you had a chance to go back to school and reenact your most important school moment, what would it be?
02:52I guess I'd have to be the first day of school when I met all the other students.
02:58Stupid answer.
02:59Stupid answer.
02:59Stupid answer.
03:05I'll come back to you, bachelor number three.
03:23Bachelor number one.
03:24Hello, young American.
03:26Bachelor number one.
03:27You don't mind if I smoke, do you?
03:29Not at all, bachelor number one.
03:35Not at all.
03:36Bachelor number two.
03:40Oh, they're here.
03:41They're here on me.
03:42Bachelor number two.
03:44I enjoy reading great, great works of literary content.
03:48What's your favorite book and why?
03:51Who gives a damn?
03:54Get away!
03:56Ah!
03:57Ah!
03:57Ah!
04:10Bachelor number three.
04:11Yes.
04:12When I'm hot and sweaty, I love a Yoo-Hoo.
04:15What's your favorite drink?
04:16Oh, I guess I like beer.
04:18I'm more than like a soda pop or something.
04:21I guess I'm just kind of, at heart, I'm like a bad boy.
04:24Bad boy.
04:26Bad boy.
04:28Bad boy.
04:30Bad, bad, bad boy.
04:33Bad boy.
04:35Bad boy.
04:37Bad, bad, bad, bad boy.
04:40Bad, bad, bad boy.
04:42Bad, bad, bad boy.
04:44Bad, bad, bad boy.
04:46Bad boy.
04:47Bad boy.
04:47Well, Wayne, do you have any idea what these people might be?
04:52Let me think.
04:53Ah, bachelor number one is the president.
04:57Yes.
04:59President Clinton.
05:00Better fact.
05:02Bachelor number two is being gradually eaten by army ants.
05:06and bachelor number three
05:13was
05:16was the
05:18was the
05:21was the pornographic version of Rain Man
05:23no
05:24yeah he was supposed to be a masochist
05:28oh I see
05:30that's good enough
05:31thank you very much
05:32hey
05:41I'm going to deduct a hundred points for making me watch that
05:44thanks for nothing
05:46I was right on top of the play
05:48now let's go to a game called
05:52film, theater, and television styles
05:54this is for Ryan and Greg
05:55they're going to act out a scene
05:56and I'm going to make them adopt different film and TV styles
05:59and I'm going to get from the audience
06:00I need styles of film or theater or television
06:03kabuki
06:05horror
06:06kabuki
06:07greek tragedy
06:10these guys love greek tragedy
06:12uh
06:13pornography is a good one
06:15Elvis movie
06:19okay
06:19whatever that is
06:21sesame street
06:22okay that's a plenty
06:24that's plenty
06:25that's
06:25that's a plenty
06:26your scene is
06:27Greg
06:28you're a farmer
06:28who comes to complain to Ryan
06:30a neighboring farmer
06:31about some giant killer bees
06:33coming from his barn
06:34and uh
06:37you'll start out as normal
06:38and I'll come with another style
06:39as soon as you get going
06:40uh
06:41excuse me
06:42Deke
06:42yeah
06:43oh Billy
06:44I haven't seen you in four years
06:46you haven't been over here
06:47no
06:47I haven't had need to come over
06:48but I have to tell you about something
06:50my child's head
06:51back to the barn
06:54my little
06:55horror
06:56it's about these bees ears
06:59they don't seem normal
07:00not like regular bees
07:01they fly into your house
07:02and then the next thing you know
07:03your child's head is spinning
07:04all around the room
07:05they're not my bees
07:07I have no control over them
07:08back into the barn
07:09wait till I call you
07:09tabuki
07:13oh
07:14the bees are our friends
07:29my father said the bees are gold
07:31my cows are swollen and red
07:38uh
07:39Elvis
07:40listen
07:41your bees are stinging man
07:43oh
07:43let me pick them off
07:46now
07:46wait
07:46we gotta get them off
07:48we're going on a bee hunt
07:55we're going on a bee hunt
07:55we're going on a bee problem
07:56baby
07:56but they ain't my bees
07:57sesame street
08:03i've been stung on the bottom
08:06can you spell bee
08:12you can't spell bee
08:15bee's a letter
08:15no
08:16there's more than one letter in bee
08:25well it's odd that there's bees
08:27in this neighborhood
08:28greek tragedy
08:32testicles
08:35that's it right there
08:46thank you very much
08:47hi
08:53you're ready to top a good greek play on words like that
08:56you can't
08:57and I'll give you 2,000 points just for that
08:59that was great
08:59uh now
09:00let's go on to a game called dating service video
09:02this is for all of you of course
09:04Ryan and Colin
09:04you're going to use that box of hats
09:05you guys are going to use this box of hats
09:06and
09:07using the hats
09:08you're going to come up with as many ways possible
09:10of the world's worst dating service video
09:12Ryan and Colin
09:13when you're ready
09:13go ahead
09:14I tried to
09:21get all fancied up for you
09:24too much moose
09:26I'm from Minnesota
09:32we have come for your women
09:33the last time I forescored
09:39was 20 years ago
09:40I'm not necessarily looking for a date
09:48but I can get you one
09:49I know what you're thinking
09:57there's only one way to find out
10:00they're always after me lucky charms
10:09I will have you on a boat
10:15I will have you with a goat
10:16on a boat
10:17with a goat
10:18I don't care
10:18yes captain
10:24I'd like some booty
10:25yeah
10:26yeah we're going to go on a date
10:31I'll see you next Thursday night
10:32on that date
10:33you be there
10:34I'll be there on that date
10:35my name's Mimi
10:42and I'll take anyone but that Drew Carey
10:44thank you very much
10:49we're going to take a show commercial break
10:51we'll be right back
10:52with more of
10:52Who's Line Is It Anyway?
10:53Don't go anywhere
10:54hello and welcome back to
11:01Who's Line Is It Anyway?
11:02the show where everything's made up
11:04and the points don't matter
11:05hey listen
11:05we have a special supplement
11:06in the TV Guide this week
11:07it's a special
11:08Who's Line Is It Anyway?
11:09scorebook
11:10if you don't have one
11:10in your TV Guide
11:11call TV Guide and complain
11:12now let's go to a game called
11:17Weird Newscasters
11:18this is for all of you
11:19Colin you're going to be
11:20anchorman of a news show
11:21and the rest of you guys
11:22are going to help him out
11:23Greg you're the co-anchor of the show
11:24and you are Captain Kirk
11:26Wayne you're going to be doing the sports
11:30you're on a videotape
11:31that's speeding up
11:32and slowing down
11:33and Ryan
11:35you're doing the weather
11:36you're an excited rock star
11:37in front of a big crowd
11:38so whenever you hear the music
11:41Colin take it away
11:43welcome to the 6 o'clock news
11:49I'm Burn Knightley
11:50our top story today
11:53a national study shows
11:54that balding men
11:55make the best lovers
11:57and now
12:01over to my new co-anchor
12:03please
12:05welcome
12:06Captain Kirk
12:07star date
12:145
12:169
12:166
12:172
12:173
12:17Spock what is it
12:18we've
12:20got
12:20to deliver the
12:21news
12:25now
12:29over to sports
12:31thank you
12:33alright folks
12:34today we know that
12:35the San Diego Padres
12:37are kings
12:37they are sweeping everything
12:39and it turns out
12:40they're like
12:40you're going to
12:42but
12:42he hit the ball
12:45and it was
12:46full
12:48and that's why
12:52he's going to be voted
12:53VIP
12:54well now
13:08we're going to weather
13:08with Skippy Bartholomew
13:10Skippy
13:11right
13:11Los Angeles
13:12are you ready
13:13for some weather
13:131
13:162
13:171
13:182
13:183
13:194
13:19days of sunshine
13:20ahead this week
13:21it's going to cloud up
13:24later in the week
13:25everybody have rain
13:32on the weekend
13:33rain on the weekend
13:34thank you Skippy
13:45well that's the 6 o'clock news
13:47please stay tuned
13:49in most of the country
13:50you'll be seeing a very special
13:51Dukes of Hazards
13:52until tomorrow
13:53this is the 6 o'clock news
13:54goodnight
13:55I hate to say this
14:05but I wasn't really
14:06paying attention
14:07500 points
14:09okay with you guys
14:10alright
14:11let's go on to a game
14:13called Greatest Hits
14:14this is for Colin
14:15Ryan and Wayne
14:15with the help of
14:16Laura Hall
14:17on the piano
14:17Colin and Ryan
14:22are going to be
14:23voiceover guys
14:24talking about
14:24the latest compilation album
14:26and Wayne
14:26is going to try to sing
14:27snippets of the songs
14:28as they suggest
14:29and what we need
14:29from the audience
14:30is the kind of profession
14:31you wouldn't normally
14:32sing a song about
14:33what was that up top
14:36Postal Worker
14:38the name of your album is
14:41Songs of the Postal Worker
14:43take it away
14:44hi
14:45we'll return you
14:46to the 24-hour
14:47Drew Carey Network
14:48in just a moment
14:48but first
14:49have we got a deal
14:50for you
14:51for as long as
14:52there's been mail
14:53there's been someone
14:54to deliver it
14:55that's just a fact
14:56that's right
14:58we've got over 300 hits
14:59on a 2 CD set
15:01and Colin
15:01these songs cover
15:03every postal worker
15:04through the ages
15:05that's right
15:07let's listen to
15:08our first selection
15:08that great Latin song
15:11mail
15:13because you see me
15:29when I go
15:30I deliver to the sleep
15:34and the snow
15:35I get this package
15:38there without fail
15:40thank God
15:42they came up
15:42with this word
15:43it's called mail
15:45it's for me
15:49and who could ever forget
15:56that 1940s
15:57boogie woogie hit
15:58Put It In The Slot
15:59Will you deliver
16:12something for me
16:13please
16:13will you deliver
16:14for me
16:15please
16:16because
16:17I've got a
16:18Senate overseas
16:19because it gets
16:23real hot
16:23deliver to my
16:24boyfriend
16:24the mail
16:25in the mail
16:25slot
16:26put it in the slot
16:27it's too big
16:28it's a package
16:28put it in the slot
16:30give it to me
16:30because I've got to
16:31put it
16:32boop boop
16:32gotta put it
16:33in the slot
16:34put it
16:34boop boop
16:35boop boop
16:36you put it
16:37in the slot
16:37smell it
16:38and you put it
16:38in the slot
16:39today
16:39hey it's from
16:40my girl
16:41dear John
16:42you know Colin
16:49these CDs
16:50make great gifts
16:50as well
16:51who could you
16:51give one to
16:52why if I had
16:53anyone in my life
16:55it'd be them
16:55hey
16:57why don't you
16:58buy one for me
16:59this Christmas
16:59sure
17:00like I'm made
17:01of money
17:02but let's get
17:03back to some
17:04of the tunes
17:05you know one of
17:05my favorite artists
17:06of all time
17:07made this little
17:08song
17:08it wasn't one
17:09of her biggest
17:09hits
17:10but one of her
17:11finest
17:11and that of course
17:13is Tina
17:13Turner's
17:14Tina Turner's
17:16a close friend
17:17of Tina Turner's
17:19Tina Turner's
17:21big hit
17:22hey man
17:23tie up your dog
17:24I've seen you
17:41miss the postman
17:42with your bag
17:43that's really full
17:45look at my booty
17:48it's been bitten
17:49by that pit bull
17:51oh
17:52every day
17:53without fail
17:55me and my long
17:56legs
17:57deliver your mail
17:58so
17:58tie that pit bull
18:00up
18:01before I
18:02kill it
18:02sing
18:02Tina
18:03I kill it
18:04sing
18:04girl
18:04I'm
18:05roof roof
18:06tie it
18:07roof roof
18:08tie it
18:08roof roof
18:09tie your pit bull
18:10up
18:11you got my
18:11roof roof
18:12tie it
18:13pit bull
18:14tie it
18:14pit bull
18:16tie your pit bull
18:16up
18:17let's do it
18:18girl
18:18let's do it
18:20that was great
18:27hey listen
18:27we're gonna go to
18:27commercial
18:28we come back
18:28we're gonna find out
18:29who the winner is
18:29and the winner gets to
18:30do something to me
18:31so don't go away
18:32we'll be right back
18:33to more
18:33Who's Wine
18:33Is It Anyway
18:34hello
18:37and welcome back to
18:42Who's Wine
18:43Is It Anyway
18:43the winners tonight
18:45Ryan Siles
18:46and Colin Moffrey
18:47Ryan and Colin
18:48and they're gonna do
18:52a little game with me
18:53called
18:54Helping Hands
18:55what happens is
18:55we're gonna do a scene here
18:56but
18:57Ryan cannot use
18:59his own arms
18:59he has to get arms
19:00from Colin
19:01what's our scene
19:03Greg
19:03Ryan is a
19:05pet care guru
19:06teaching you
19:08how to look
19:08after his dog
19:10so Ryan
19:11glad to meet you
19:12thanks for coming
19:12Terry nice to meet you
19:13watch your show
19:14all the time
19:15very funny
19:16very funny
19:16the very flamboyant woman
19:18I laugh at her
19:18all the time
19:19the tall guy
19:20on that show
19:20is so funny
19:22really
19:22can't stop laughing
19:23at him
19:23catch me up
19:25gotta give him
19:26more lines
19:27he doesn't get
19:27enough lines
19:28in the show
19:28okay
19:29I'll see what you
19:30about it
19:30I'm worried about
19:31my dog Fido
19:32Fido
19:33I don't think
19:33he's eating right
19:34he's the sweetest
19:35little dog
19:36we've had in here
19:36I'll hold him
19:40here
19:40I'm worried
19:41about how to
19:42you know
19:42maybe he could
19:43show me
19:43what's the proper
19:44way to feed him
19:44why don't you
19:45just hand Fido
19:45to me
19:46and what we'll
19:47do is we'll
19:47give Fido
19:48a nice relaxing
19:49bath
19:49just to calm
19:50his nerves
19:50a bit
19:51here we go
19:52he loves that
19:53he loves it
19:54he loves it
19:55he loves it
19:56oh maybe
19:57dry him off a little
20:00oh they don't like
20:01towels
20:01this is how they
20:02prefer it
20:03Fido's turning
20:03purple
20:03look at that
20:04give him a boat
20:04what kind of
20:05treats do you like
20:06for Fido
20:07oh well you know
20:08what dogs like
20:09mini treats
20:10well this is one
20:11right here
20:12that looks like a
20:13regular chunky dinner
20:14oh this is a special
20:14dog blend I make up
20:16myself
20:16how's it taste
20:17oh it's very
20:18yeah
20:23no no
20:24no
20:25not positive
20:27really
20:28not for me
20:29not for me
20:30oh man
20:34does he like
20:39what kind of toys
20:39you recommend
20:40he plays with
20:40a stick
20:41he loves to join
20:42he runs like this
20:43with his mouth
20:43he puts it
20:44in his mouth
20:44oh he loves it
20:48what other kind of
20:49toys does he like
20:49to play
20:50he's got his
20:50little bowl of water
20:51that looks like
20:51more of a cat thing
20:52give me a suggestion
20:52for cats
20:53how to take care of
20:54cats
20:54what do you know
20:54about cats
20:55don't tell me
20:57about cats
20:57all right
20:58you don't like cats
20:59it's not that I
21:00don't like them
21:01we just don't agree
21:01with each other
21:02would you like
21:08something to
21:08wash that down
21:09with
21:09there you go
21:13that's better
21:15I'd really
21:15I've worked well
21:16with them
21:17I think I deserve
21:17a little treat
21:18would you like a towel
21:19wow
21:22thank you
21:27thank you for watching
21:29the whole finals
21:30and I'll see you later
21:31bye bye
21:31I'll see you later
21:33I'll see you later
21:34I'll see you later
21:35I'll see you later