- 5/10/2025
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FunTranscript
00:00Good evening and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:30What happens on the show is we've got some suggestions that we thought of before the show.
00:36We've got some suggestions from the audience.
00:38None of our performers have heard any of them previously.
00:41And they're going to come up on stage here and totally improvise everything live on the spot.
00:45You're going to see, you're going to be amazed at how brilliant they are.
00:48And then I'll award the points.
00:52The points don't really matter because I'm just going to pick who I like at the end of the show anyway to be the winner.
00:56And they'll do a little improv with me.
00:57Are you ready to start off the first game and see how it goes?
01:00We'll start with a game called Let's Make a Date.
01:09This is for all four performers.
01:10Now, Ryan, Colin, and Brad, you're going to be contestants on a dating type show.
01:14And you're hoping to be picked by Kathy.
01:16We'll want to hope to pick one of these fine young men to go out with her.
01:19Except we've given in these envelopes one of your dating hopefuls a little quirk or an attitude or identity or characteristics.
01:26Once again, to remind you, they haven't seen anything that's been in these envelopes before.
01:29And let's see what happens.
01:31Kathy, whenever you're ready, go ahead.
01:32Bachelor number one, like, if you were going to take me on a dream date, like, where would you take me?
01:40Well, before we go anywhere, you need a cream rinse.
01:47I am just looking at you, and your head is a disaster area.
01:52Bachelor number two, um, if you were going to fly me to a really romantic place, where would that place be?
02:09And what would we...
02:11And what...
02:15I can't think of romance at a time like this!
02:19This is your fault, you son of a...
02:21Oh, thank you.
02:39Bachelor number three?
02:40Yes?
02:41If you were going to buy me, like, a pet, what kind of pet would that be, and what would you call it?
02:48I probably wouldn't buy it for you.
02:50I'd steal it.
02:50Steal!
02:51Steal!
02:52Let's go through your mind!
02:54Oh, you crazy, just about it, you're right!
03:04Um, like, Bachelor number one,
03:06Um, if you were going to take me to, um, a fancy restaurant, what kind of restaurant would it be?
03:14Well, I just can't believe you're so worried about getting a date when you're having a hair emergency!
03:18Gee, I want to call Rescue 911, because you've got split ends like nobody's business!
03:24You want to go eat food?
03:26My God, you should wear a bag over your head!
03:34Um, like, Bachelor number two, you know, if you were a piece of women's clothing, what kind would you be and what color?
03:44I'd probably be a bra!
03:46A Porsche!
03:47Push!
03:48All right, come on, go!
03:50Go, go, go, go!
03:51Go, go!
03:53Um, thank you.
04:13And finally, um, Bachelor number three?
04:16Yes!
04:17If you were going to take me out on a date to a film, what kind of film would it be?
04:22Probably, um, probably some, uh, film that everyone could enjoy together as a crowd.
04:30Just to be together is the greatest thing in the world.
04:32Excuse me.
04:33Excuse me.
04:34Sorry.
04:35Excuse me.
04:39Okay.
04:44Kathy, uh.
04:48Kathy, uh, can you go ahead and try to guess who they are?
04:51Well, uh, I don't want to date bachelor number one, uh, an abusive hairdresser.
04:57Uh, yeah, close enough.
04:59Stressed out hairdresser.
05:01They're all abusive, really.
05:03We'll say stressed out hairdresser.
05:04Okay.
05:05And I certainly don't want to date bachelor number two, a man in labor.
05:11Yes.
05:12Excuse me.
05:13But I'm highly attracted to bachelor number three, a rabid fan at some kind of sporting event.
05:22Yes.
05:22Exactly.
05:23Good job.
05:3050 points apiece.
05:31But like I told you, the points don't matter.
05:33It's just going to be who I like wins at the end of the show.
05:35Uh, now we go on to a game called sound effects.
05:38Uh, Colin, you're going to improvise a scene, and you have to respond to sound effects made
05:42by Ryan.
05:43Ryan, wake up and get your microphone.
05:45Uh, your scene is, Colin, you're, uh, the Lone Ranger, and you find out that outlaws have
05:51hijacked a speeding train.
05:53Get it?
05:54Okay.
05:56A lot of points right in this one.
05:57Don't blow it.
05:58I don't know.
06:28I don't know.
06:52Mmmmm!
06:54Mmmmmmm!
06:58Mmmmmmm!
07:18Didn't think I'd have to go anywhere.
07:52Thank you very much.
08:07That was great.
08:08I'm going to award points on that game according to shoe size.
08:10Congratulations, Ryan.
08:13Big winner there.
08:14Now we go on to a game called Daytime Talk Shows for all four of you.
08:18Brad, you're going to be the host of a Daytime Talk Show.
08:20Ryan and Kathy, you're going to be appearing.
08:22On the talk show.
08:23And Colin, you're a member of the audience.
08:24One of those idiots who ask questions during the talk show.
08:28The subject of the talk show is a regular one.
08:30It's going to be dealing with a fairy tale.
08:32So what we need from the audience is a suggestion for a fairy tale.
08:34You'd like to see any...
08:35Three Little Pigs.
08:37Three Little Pigs.
08:37Sounds great.
08:38Thank you very much.
08:39So glad you were sitting there.
08:42Three Little Pigs is the name of the talk show.
08:44Go ahead, Brad.
08:45Hello and welcome to Swine Talk.
08:48I'm Carl Trichinosis and we've got a very hot property topic for you today.
08:53We're talking about the Three Little Pigs.
08:54They were building houses and woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.
08:57They got blown down.
08:58Let's find out who our first guest is.
09:00Sir?
09:00I'm Thomas Guide and I run the, uh, the neighborhood watch in the area.
09:06And, uh, can you tell us that there have been problems with the wolf?
09:09There's always problems when pigs move into the neighborhood.
09:14We had a good, respectful neighborhood and then you got pigs moving in.
09:17You know, take care of the place.
09:18His car is parked all over the lawn.
09:20I take it you don't like pigs.
09:22Hate them.
09:23Like them with eggs.
09:24We'll get back to you in a second.
09:32Uh, ma'am, can you tell us who you are and why you're here?
09:35My name's Prudence Pig.
09:37I'm the mother of the two children that were lost when the houses fell down.
09:41And I say if you'd just been watching a little better, that wolf never would have got in there
09:45and my children would still be alive.
09:47How do you watch a wolf?
09:48They come at night when you're sleeping.
09:50A man's gotta sleep.
09:51A man's gotta sleep.
09:54I bet you wouldn't have been sleeping if it would have been like ducks or dogs or cats in their houses.
10:00Oh, I don't even want to.
10:01Yeah, how do you feel about that?
10:02What if it were ducks or dogs or monkeys?
10:04Don't mind ducks.
10:05They clean up after themselves.
10:06Monkeys, they go to work, they're gone all day.
10:09Just don't like pigs.
10:11All right, well, before this gets any hotter, we're going to go to our studio audience and see if they have any questions.
10:16Let me look around.
10:17Uh, you, sir, with the microphone on.
10:20Yeah.
10:22I'm the big bad wolf's brother.
10:24The medium slightly ticked off, wolf?
10:28He's been getting some bad press from this.
10:30Has she mentioned that he is the father of those children?
10:33That's a lie!
10:34That she's been sleeping with him for the last five years!
10:37You want a piece?
10:38I want a piece of you!
10:39Come on, I'll take it!
10:40No, no, no!
10:45Yeah, yeah, yeah!
10:47Come on, yeah!
10:52You want a piece of me?
10:55You want a piece of me?
10:56This is ridiculous that we're arguing all this.
10:59It's been done.
11:01She's actually a fine woman for a pig.
11:04As a matter of fact...
11:05I know we've had a lot of problems in the past.
11:21I'd like you to sire my children.
11:22This is very romantic.
11:25And remember, it's the other white meat.
11:27That's all we have time for here on Blind Talk.
11:28Thank you, good night.
11:35That's great.
11:36Thanks very much.
11:37We'll be right back with more Who's Blinders in Anyway?
11:39Right after this.
11:40Don't go away.
11:40Welcome back to Who's Blinders in Anyway?
11:55What an exciting score we have.
11:56One of you is sure to win.
11:57I'm positive of that.
12:00Let's go on to a game called Props.
12:02And here are the props right here.
12:03Ryan and Kathy, come up and get your prop.
12:06Don't ask me.
12:07Here you go.
12:08And Colin and Brad, this is your prop.
12:12It doesn't even stand up.
12:13And what's going to happen is they're going to do as many amusing things as they can do
12:17with these props that they've never seen before until tonight.
12:20And I'll buzz them out in between.
12:22Ryan and Kathy, why don't you start?
12:23Three, two, one.
12:29Mark, we got a crime to solve.
12:31Ironside.
12:31Oh, that was the best T-bone I've ever had.
12:41Did you hear my concert with Billy Joel was canceled?
12:43Hmm, I see.
13:00Well, let's just have a little listen.
13:04The doctor said it'll keep me from licking my stitches.
13:06Here's a peanut.
13:13I can see the head, Mrs. Johnson.
13:20Thank you very much.
13:33That'll be 100 points for Brad for, uh, well, you know what.
13:39See you after the show, Brad.
13:40Uh, let's go on to a game called Helping Hands.
13:44Woo-hoo!
13:45Uh, Ryan, you're going to act out a situation with Brad.
13:48But, uh, as in real life, Ryan can't use his own arms.
13:51And, uh, Colin's going to provide the arms for him.
13:54Uh, your scene is you're a...
13:56Ryan, you're a lovesick Italian pizza maker.
14:00Don't forget the little mustache.
14:02Did I see a mustache there?
14:03I thought you might forget about it.
14:05There you go.
14:08Perfect.
14:08And any time you're ready, go ahead.
14:15Oh, I'm so sad today.
14:19Why are you so sad?
14:21My girl, she'll leave me today.
14:23She'll take a plane, she'll fly away.
14:25Off to America.
14:26But didn't you always say that to make yourself happier,
14:29you'd make yourself a pizza pie?
14:31Oh, you're a sweet boy.
14:33When I look at that face, I think of your daddy, my brother,
14:35and I think, oh, boy, I should have left you in that field.
14:38But, yes, I always cheer myself up with making the pizza.
14:43Maybe my heart will not be so broken.
14:45First, you never made the pizza before.
14:47Is this your first time?
14:48Show me how.
14:49Oh, first, you take the dough.
14:51I like to make a lot of dough.
14:53Ha, ha, it's a joke, it's a joke.
14:56First, we beat the dough back and forth, and then we flatten it out.
14:59We flatten it out to a big, flat thing.
15:01With the rolling pin?
15:01Yes, with the rolling pin.
15:04Who's a cook in here?
15:07I'm a cook in here.
15:09I think I'll use the rolling pin.
15:12Yes, I roll out the dough, and I get the dough nice and flat.
15:15I'm a soul.
15:16That's not very flat, Uncle Luigi.
15:18I take the dough right there, and you pat the dough down, and I throw it up in the air,
15:22and we catch the dough.
15:23We catch the dough like that, and one more time.
15:26There is the dough right there.
15:28Now, I'm going to take another piece of dough.
15:30There's a piece.
15:31I see it.
15:31What am I, blindy?
15:33I put the dough down.
15:34I put the dough down.
15:36Usually, I have a little sauce, okay?
15:38Here it is right over here in the bottle.
15:40In the bottle is the little sauce.
15:41Oh, you're using a chianti sauce.
15:43Yes.
15:44I have a little bit for me just a little.
15:45Oh, right.
15:45Just a tiny, tiny.
15:49Oh, that's a good.
15:50That's a good sauce.
15:52Okay.
15:53Oh, a little behind here.
15:56Okay.
15:57Now, I've got to make it the pizza fast.
15:58I put a little chianti on there.
16:00I've taken the tomatoes in the bowl.
16:01I've got to take the tomatoes, all the mushrooms.
16:03We start with the mushrooms.
16:04We put them on the pizza.
16:05A little pepperoni, a little pepperoni.
16:07There goes, a little cheesy.
16:09Oh, boy.
16:10I love a pepperoni.
16:11Do you?
16:11Yes.
16:12If you like some pepperoni.
16:13Just a piece of me, one.
16:14Just a little piece.
16:16See, me, with a pepperoni, I can't eat the one piece.
16:19I've got to eat a whole ton of it.
16:21All at once.
16:22All at once with a pepperoni.
16:23Thank you very much.
16:42That was great.
16:44That was great.
16:45Unfortunately, that was a non-scoring round.
16:46Now, we're going to go on to Ryan's favorite, a hoedown.
16:53Woo!
16:59This is for everyone with help of Laura Hall.
17:01God bless you, Laura Hall.
17:02What I need for the audience is something about modern life that annoys you.
17:05Get your pizza late.
17:06What was that about pizza?
17:08Get your pizza late.
17:09Getting your pizza late.
17:10That's a very good one.
17:11We'll use that one.
17:12So, Laura, let's do the getting your pizza late hoedown.
17:24I ordered a pizza on a movie date
17:27And then I got so mad because that damn pizza was late
17:31By the time it got there, it was frozen and I tried
17:35I was so darn angry that I shot the pizza guy
17:39I wanted a pizza
17:44I was really hungry
17:46I can't put much
17:48So I ordered, you see
17:50When the pizza came, it was very cold
17:52The cheese was hard and all
17:54And the sausage was petrified
17:56I was really mad
17:58Oh!
18:02I'm waiting for my pizza
18:03It's been three hours now
18:05I'm getting really angry
18:07Just like a British cow
18:09It really is upsetting
18:11I'm going to really go
18:13When he gives me my pizza
18:15I won't give him his dough
18:17My uncle died yesterday
18:27He owned a pizza place
18:29Lying in the coffin
18:30He looked peaceful with his face
18:32Cooking pizzas was so fun
18:35And his name was Sid
18:36When I opened up the coffin
18:38He was stuck to the lid
18:40He was stuck to the lid
18:43That was great
18:51Don't forget
18:51When we come back
18:52The winner's going to play a game with me
18:53So don't go anywhere
18:54We'll be right back
18:55More who's line is it anyway
18:56Hello and welcome back to who's line is it anyway
19:09Tonight's winner
19:10Lewis from the Drew Carey Show
19:11That's the Drew Carey Show
19:17Wednesdays at 9 on ABC
19:18What we're going to do
19:20Speaking of ABC
19:21We're going to do a game
19:22Called 90 Second Alphabet
19:23And what's going to happen
19:24Is you're going to give us
19:25A letter to start out
19:26We have to do a whole scene
19:27And everything we say
19:27Has to start with the next letter
19:29Alphabet
19:29Beginning with the letter what
19:30What letter
19:31Q
19:32That was the first one I heard
19:34So we'll begin with the letter Q
19:34And Brad
19:36What's the
19:36We have 90 seconds to do this
19:38Brad what's the scene
19:39The scene is
19:40Ryan is Zorro
19:41Who finally catches up
19:42With the villain
19:43Played by you
19:44Drew
19:44Are you guys ready
19:4590 seconds
19:46And go
19:47Quit chasing me
19:48Right
19:49Then stop
19:50I'm here to kill you
19:54Right
19:57That's what I'm here for
19:58Well
19:59Stop is what I did
20:01So
20:01Do what you have to do
20:03Too many people have died at my sword
20:05I'm going to change my ways
20:06Under what circumstances
20:09Very unusual circumstances my friend
20:11Wonder what they are
20:13Xavier Cougat once said to me
20:17Never kill a defenseless man
20:20Yes
20:23That's why I have a sword
20:24I'm ready for you anytime
20:26Zip-a-dee-doo-down
20:27Defend yourself my friend
20:30And guard
20:32Boy you're better than I thought you were
20:36Cool huh
20:37Damn right
20:38Ever have a man slit off
20:40All your buttons
20:41Four
20:44Thirty seconds
20:46Four men have
20:48Stabbed me in that way before
20:50God are you alright
20:51Ha ha
20:52I was kidding
20:52Oh
20:53I
20:54I
20:55Justice has been done
20:59He is dead and I am free
21:01Knife
21:02Where's my knife
21:03Here let me help you with that
21:05Ten seconds
21:06I love you
21:08Thank you so much
21:09Man you're soft and mushy
21:13Now you know
21:15Oh I knew before
21:18I just couldn't say anything
21:19Party dance
21:21Quickly
21:22Alright
21:23Thank you very much
21:29For watching we'll be back
21:30Next time with
21:31Two minutes of anyway
21:32Goodnight
21:32Goodnight
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