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  • 5/10/2025

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Transcript
00:00Good evening and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:05Tonight on the show, he does his own stunts.
00:07Wayne Brady, she does her own choreography.
00:10Denny Siegel, he does his own hair.
00:13Colin Mochrie, he does okay, thanks for asking.
00:16Ryan Stiles, and I'm Drew Carey, your host.
00:19Come on now, let's have some fun.
00:30Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:35The show that asks the question, Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:41If you never saw the show before, it's how it works.
00:44These performers here have to come out and make up sketches and skits
00:46based on suggestions on these cards that they've never seen before
00:49and based on suggestions from the audience.
00:51They have to make it up right on the spot, off the top of their heads.
00:53It's really fun to watch.
00:54And then at the end of every little game that we play,
00:57we award points that don't matter at all.
00:59So, and at the end of the show, I pick a winner
01:03and they get to do a little something with me.
01:10Wish I could tell you what it is, but we're owned by Disney.
01:14First game we're going to play is a game called Let's Make a Date.
01:17This is for all four performers.
01:18Ryan, Colin, and Wayne are going to be contestants on a dating-type show
01:21hoping to be picked by Denny.
01:22Denny's going to question him, see who she wants to go out the most.
01:24But each of them has a strange characteristic or identity
01:27and they're all written down on these cards here, in these envelopes.
01:30They haven't seen it before.
01:31This is the first time they're having a look at them.
01:34And Denny's going to question them and then try to guess who they are
01:36at the end of the game here.
01:37So when you're ready, Denny, go ahead and off you go.
01:39Okay, bachelor number one.
01:41Hello?
01:43Condienche.
01:43Well, bachelor number one.
01:52Yes.
01:57When I go out to dinner, I never pay for myself because I don't have to.
02:02So...
02:03Wow.
02:09I could just stop playing right now, but I'm contractually obligated to go on.
02:16Bachelor number two.
02:18I never went to college because there were just too many books.
02:23What I'm wondering is, if you were my professor, bachelor number two,
02:28what would you teach me?
02:30What would I teach you?
02:36I think I would teach...
02:39Are you all right?
02:46I'm fine.
02:46I'm just feeling a wee bit under the weather.
02:52Okay.
02:54Well, I...
02:55Bachelor number three.
02:58Hello?
02:59Hello, it's very nice to make your acquaintance.
03:02Oh, thank you.
03:03Um...
03:03Bachelor number three.
03:11Yes.
03:12My ideal date involves a good-looking man, a fast car, and a reflective surface in which
03:17I can check my hair.
03:18I'm wondering, what's your ideal date?
03:22Well, probably the same.
03:23You have lovely hair, by the way.
03:25I'm sure that's your natural color.
03:27Well, bachelor number three.
03:36If the date goes well, you might get to check.
03:39All righty, bachelor number one.
03:50So, what I'm wondering is, if you took me out for a romantic dinner, what kind of a meal would
03:58you take me to?
03:59I would take you, take you, take you to the place, put a smile up around your face, because
04:06I go, I go, the deal will seal, when I give you're behind the happy me.
04:12All right.
04:23Um, bachelor number two.
04:25Bachelor number two, I've always been a city girl.
04:45If you were to take me out to the country, what would we do there?
04:48I don't know.
04:49I'd go all the way home.
04:53Okay.
04:55There we go.
05:16Okay.
05:23Okay, Danny, you want to go ahead and...
05:24Guess who they are?
05:26Okay, well, I don't want to go out with Bachelor number one because he's an Italian opera singer
05:30and he probably has to go to bed really well.
05:33Exactly.
05:34That was a tough one.
05:36I don't know how I got that.
05:38And Bachelor number two would upset all my rabbi friends because he's turning into a pig.
05:42Yes.
05:43But I'm kind of interested in Bachelor number three because he's either taking a lie detector
05:52test or he's a fly getting zapped.
05:56He's kind of like a fly getting zapped, yeah.
05:58He gets an electric shock every time he has an impure thought.
06:02Oh!
06:03So that was that.
06:06Nice job, everybody.
06:13That'll be a thousand points to Colin for turning to a pig quicker than Bill Clinton did.
06:16Now let's go on to a game called Song Styles.
06:24This is for Wayne and Laura Hall.
06:27Thank you, everybody.
06:28Laura Hall.
06:30Do you go to school at all?
06:37Are you a student?
06:38Do you have a job?
06:39What's your name?
06:39My name is Trisha.
06:40Trisha.
06:41What do you do for a living, Trisha?
06:42I teach swimming lessons.
06:43You teach swimming lessons?
06:44Come here, Trisha.
06:47You teach us swimming lessons.
06:56We're going to give Trisha a second to go change in her swimsuit and come back out.
07:02Wayne, you're going to sing to Trisha who works teaching swimming lessons, which I'm sure
07:07pays fabulously.
07:08And you'll be singing in the style of Louis Armstrong.
07:22Hey, baby.
07:26I want to sing a song today.
07:32I saw you at the YMCA.
07:35Oh, I know it could not be fun.
07:42If I was drowning, would you give me CP long?
07:48This is my song and my song has been sung.
07:52You've got a real nice looking aqua lung.
07:59Oh, little darling, accept this from me.
08:03I'm going to do a little solo for my beauty from beneath the sea.
08:07I said...
08:08I said...
08:09I said...
08:10I said...
08:14I said...
08:20I said...
08:30I said...
08:32I said...
08:33I said...
08:35I'm going to give all the points to Louis Armstrong on that one.
08:59That was great, man.
09:01A million points, like you'd need them.
09:04Buy yourself a car.
09:05Now we come to a game called Props.
09:11This is where they divide into two pairs,
09:12try to come up with as many different ways of using these props as they can.
09:15Ryan and Denny, come get your prop.
09:20Remember, we're on a Disney-owned network.
09:24And Wayne and Colin, come get your prop.
09:28Ryan and Denny, you'll start, and I'll buzz you in between.
09:31Boy, you were right about that early bird gets the worm stuff.
09:34Oh, the passing of the Olympic torch.
09:41What the?
09:41What the?
09:42Hey!
09:43Ah!
09:44Ah!
09:46Master Luke, I've been shot!
09:48Master Luke!
09:49The bird's going in that direction.
09:54I'm going that way.
09:58Fister, Fister, one moment, please.
10:00Fister, Fister, one moment, please.
10:02Fister, Fister, one moment, please.
10:05Welcome to Las Vegas!
10:06No, it didn't help at all.
10:28What you looking at, Kyle?
10:40I'll kick your butt.
10:44Yeah, yeah, I am Italian.
10:45How'd you know that?
10:46Thank you very much.
10:51That was great.
10:51Hey, stay where we are.
10:53We're going to go see a commercial.
10:54When we come back, we'll have lots more.
10:55Whose Line Is It Anywhere?
11:04Hey, welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anywhere?
11:08The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
11:11If you're keeping track of the score, I pity you.
11:16Okay, now let's go on to a game called Party Quirks.
11:18It's a game for Denny and Wayne, Ryan, and Colin.
11:21Now, Denny, you're going to be hosting a party,
11:22and then Wayne, Ryan, and Colin will be the guests,
11:24but each one has a strange quirk or identity
11:26that are written on these cards here.
11:27They haven't seen these cards before.
11:28It's the first time they're having a look at them.
11:30And Denny has to guess what the quirks are.
11:32So I want you guys to line up there.
11:33I'll bring you in with the bell one at a time,
11:35and Denny, whenever you're ready, start the party.
11:37Come in.
11:40Hey, Wayne.
11:45Hey, Denny, hang it in.
11:4650,000 points.
11:55Good to see you.
11:56I have another guest.
11:56Excuse me.
11:58Yes, hi.
11:59Hi.
12:07Excuse me.
12:13I have another guest.
12:14Nice to see you, Colin.
12:15Yes, yes, come in.
12:19It's too high.
12:20Help me down, Denny.
12:21Oh, come on.
12:21You can do it.
12:22You can do it.
12:24There you go.
12:25Well, thank you for inviting me to your lifeboat.
12:28Are you all right?
12:29Oh, look up.
12:29Wayne.
12:43Wayne.
12:43Wayne.
12:44Wayne.
12:44Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, you don't have to stay if you don't want to.
13:01I think you'd be more comfortable being in an actual pinball machine.
13:05Very nice.
13:08Yes, I...
13:10Thank you for coming.
13:11I know it's hard for you to make time when you're in every Hitchcock movie ever.
13:14Oh, are you my Thanksgiving dinner?
13:24Close.
13:25You're a beheaded chicken, aren't you?
13:38Hey, Colin, nice T-shirt.
13:40Oh!
13:40A thousand points for Colin.
13:49Now let's play a game called Greatest Hits.
13:50This is a game for Colin, Ryan, and Wayne with the help of Laura Hall.
13:54Out of the theater, Laura Hall.
13:55What's going to happen here is Colin and Ryan are going to be TV voiceover guys.
14:02They're going to be talking about the latest compilation album, and Wayne is going to try
14:06to sing snippets of the songs that Colin and Ryan give to them.
14:09And what we need from the audience is a sort of profession that you normally don't sing
14:13songs about.
14:13Anybody?
14:13Butcher.
14:18I heard Butcher.
14:20So, the name of your album is Songs of the Butcher.
14:24I know, don't touch that channel.
14:27We've got a special offer for you.
14:30Songs of the Butcher, a two-CD set.
14:32Nothing but hits.
14:32We've trimmed the fat.
14:37Bell bottoms, platform shoes, glitter, afros.
14:42But enough about Ryan.
14:43That also reminds me of disco.
14:45And one of the best hits on this two-CD compilation set is the great disco hit, Tenderize This.
15:07Hey, listen to me.
15:09Yeah, it's no surprise.
15:11Let me see that big old thing you used to tenderize.
15:14You're looking at me.
15:16You're treating me like a piece of meat.
15:18So, come over here and use that thing to beat.
15:22Oh, I've got some loving that you don't want to miss.
15:25So, let me get real naked so you can tenderize this.
15:29Woo!
15:29You know, as a special bonus, if you order by midnight, what will they receive?
15:47They will receive it earlier than if they ordered it later.
15:50That's right.
15:50Now, a special bonus of these two CDs.
15:56A bonus?
15:56That's right.
15:57We have songs of relatives of famous people.
16:01Who can forget the famous song by Ray Charles' cousin, Buddy?
16:06Who's got the pork?
16:08Now, listen, woman, think I'm a dog.
16:19Oh, I love your white meat.
16:22Give me that pork.
16:25Oh, listen, lady, think that you're mighty big.
16:30Oh, I love my piggy and I love my pork.
16:33I love my piggy when I take it to work.
16:35Oh, give me pork.
16:37That's what I say.
16:39Oh, yeah.
16:40I want my pork.
16:42Don't know white meat.
16:43I want it today.
16:46Pork it out.
16:47Thank you, everybody.
16:48Pork it.
16:49Pork it.
16:50Pork it.
16:54Man.
16:56You know, Colin, we're not just offering this deal in this country.
17:01We were offering this to people throughout the world because songs of the butcher transcend so many borders and boundaries.
17:08That's right.
17:09Who could ever forget the song that was on the hit parade, the ska hit, Wieners, Legs and Chops.
17:17Oh, that's right, young man.
17:26Yes.
17:29Now, because me see the type of meat you get stuck.
17:31Me know you realize it of the wiener and the truck.
17:34You take all the wiener, you put it in your mouth.
17:37You take all the wiener, put it in your mouth and then you work it out about because the wiener.
17:41The truck and the wiener, the wiener, eat the truck and the hot dog.
17:43Because me like to eat and let me eat it in and after that it's finished, man, me take no joke.
17:48Me like to take a wiener and then me have a smoke.
17:51Take no wiener.
17:54Smoke your wiener.
17:56Come on in now.
17:59Smoke a wiener.
18:00Order now.
18:01Order now.
18:02One, two.
18:03Keep the money.
18:04Don't go away.
18:05We're going to go to commercial and find out who the winner is.
18:08And then we're going to get the assumption that we'll come back with more Who's Mind Is It Anyway.
18:12We're going to get the risk.
18:13Oh, and welcome back to Who's Mind Is It Anyway.
18:20The winners tonight, Ryan and Colin.
18:22Ryan Saul and Colin Michael.
18:26What we're going to do for you tonight is a game called Helping Hands.
18:29What's going to happen is Ryan and I are going to be doing a scene together with the help of Colin, who's going to be the hands for Ryan.
18:34Ryan cannot use his own hands, just like in real life.
18:39And Wayne, what's our scene?
18:41Ryan, who is aiming for a promotion, has invited his boss, Drew, over to impress him with his barbecue.
18:47Oh, boy.
18:50I hope everything goes okay.
18:51Ryan!
18:52How are you?
18:52Nice to see you, sir.
18:53Nice to see you.
18:54Nice spread you have here.
18:56So, what do you have for us today?
18:58Oh, we got everything, boss.
18:58I got all the different kinds of meat because I wasn't sure what you'd like.
19:01I got wieners.
19:02Do a lot of great wiener...
19:04What's that wiener?
19:06Oh, Ryan.
19:08Hey, you know what?
19:08I was known at school for my wiener impersonation.
19:10Yeah, let's see what I was.
19:11Well, here's our walrus.
19:13Here's a walrus.
19:19That's really great, but you're getting your fingerprints all over my dog.
19:21Oh, maybe we should have burgers instead, sir.
19:23I'm sorry.
19:24These ones seem to be done already.
19:25I'll just put one in a bun for you.
19:26How's that, sir?
19:27Any, uh...
19:27Any decisions?
19:30I'd like some mustard and ketchup with that, if it's okay.
19:33Oh, you bet, sir.
19:33We got lots of it right here.
19:34This would be over here.
19:36This would be the mustard, sir.
19:37How much should you like?
19:38Just a little, just a little for you.
19:40That's plenty.
19:41A little ketchup, sir?
19:42Yes, please.
19:43Ketchup.
19:43All right, ketchup is right.
19:44No, that's a mustard again.
19:46I'm so silly.
19:47The ketchup is right by my brewskis here.
19:49There it is.
19:49I don't think this is working.
19:51Oh, yeah, it is.
19:52There it is.
19:53Oh, no, I don't.
19:55Say, do you ever drink ketchup raw?
19:57Do you ever just try to drink ketchup?
19:58Do you ever drink ketchup raw?
20:00You know I love it.
20:01All right.
20:03How was that?
20:13Maybe you'd like to wash that down with a cold beer.
20:15I would like to wash that down with a cold beer, sir.
20:18Here, let me get you one first.
20:19Let me shake it up, make sure it's okay.
20:22Oh, is there beer in there?
20:23Can I hear it?
20:23Is there beer in there?
20:24Is there beer in there?
20:26Is there beer?
20:26Oh, maybe I'd like some chips.
20:28Maybe I'd like some chips.
20:29Let me get up for you, sir.
20:29There you go.
20:30Oh, that is some beer.
20:32Have one.
20:33Oh, I can't wait.
20:33I can't wait.
20:35Oh.
20:36I always like to drink it with a spout upside the table.
20:40Yeah, that's a good idea.
20:47Boy, oh boy.
20:48Nothing like this.
20:48I'm a whale.
20:51I'm a whale.
20:52Say, what's those little wood things for?
20:54Oh, well, this is what we put on the barbecue, sir.
20:56These are the wood chips for the barbecue.
20:57Oh, yeah?
20:57I think I can juggle.
20:58Are they mesquite or something fancy like that or just regular?
21:01Are they mesquite or anything or just regular?
21:04What the hell do you mean by that, sir?
21:06My wife told you to say that, didn't she?
21:09Look, I don't need your promotion.
21:11I don't need your job.
21:13I don't need anyone.
21:16Don't cry.
21:17I don't cry.
21:27I don't need anyone.
21:57I don't need anyone.
22:05I don't need anyone.
22:06Everything will be born.
22:08I don't need anyone.
22:11What the hell do you mean by that?
22:14What the hell do you mean by that?