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  • 5/10/2025

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Fun
Transcript
00:01Good evening and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:04Tonight, our performers are the other white meat, Greg Proops,
00:07strong enough for a man but made for a woman,
00:09Wayne Brady, I can't believe he's not butter,
00:11Colin Mochrie, and catch, asked for him by name,
00:14Ryan Starr.
00:16And I'm your host, Drew Carey. Come on, let's have some fun!
00:30Thank you. Thanks, everybody, and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:34The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
00:36What happens on the show is we've got suggestions here on these cards
00:39that the performers have never seen before.
00:40We're going to take suggestions from the audience,
00:42and these guys are going to have to make up different sketches and skits
00:45and make it all funny right off the top of their heads
00:47without ever knowing what they're going to do.
00:49And then I award them points, which really don't make a hell of a lot of difference,
00:53and at the end of the show, whoever the winner is or whoever I like best
00:56gets to do a little something with me.
01:00And whether the thing we do together makes it to air or not
01:04is really up to the censors.
01:07The first game we're going to play is a game called Superheroes.
01:10This is for all four of you, and they're going to act the scene out as unlikely superheroes.
01:14Greg's going to start, and then Ryan, Colin, and Wayne are going to join them
01:17as each new superhero comes in the room, and then they'll each give each other their names.
01:21And what I need is from the audience is a suggestion for the name of an unlikely superhero.
01:25Fruit and Vegetable Man.
01:27Sounds great.
01:30So, Greg, you're going to be Fruit and Vegetable Man, and we need a suggestion for a crisis,
01:34a world crisis they're dealing with.
01:36Frizzly hair!
01:37Frizzly hair.
01:39So, Fruit and Vegetable Man, please solve the world crisis problem of frizzy hair.
01:44Thank you, Meat and Potatoes Man.
01:45My God, this uniform is tight. I've got to adjust my sprouts.
01:57Goodness gracious! By the flaming carrots of St. Sebastian, my world crisis monitor suggests that...
02:03There's frizzy hair breaking out all over the world!
02:07This is a crisis of infinite proportions. I hope my super friends arrive soon.
02:10I'll send out a telepathic...
02:12Oh, I'm already here. Sorry, I'm late.
02:14Thank goodness you're here, ice hockey kid.
02:18Oh, my pleasure.
02:20My God, there's frizzy hair everywhere!
02:23There's frizzy hair!
02:24There's frizzy hair!
02:25Don't touch me!
02:29I hurried over as quickly as I could!
02:31Oh, thank God I rate Film Director Boy!
02:34What are you doing?
02:35Don't do that! With more passion!
02:37More passion!
02:38More passion!
02:39There's frizzy hair everywhere!
02:41What is this? Some sort of a crack?
02:44No, it's a crack!
02:45One more, Emo!
02:46I'm sorry, it took so long.
02:47Thank goodness you're here, playful licking puppy boy!
02:54Please!
02:55Please, you're making my celery stalk go wide!
02:57There's frizzy hair everywhere!
02:58It's simple!
02:59All we have to do is to take my doggy brush and comb all the frizzy hair down!
03:15And if that doesn't work, just lick it!
03:17Perfect!
03:18You've solved it!
03:19Away!
03:20And be careful on the rug!
03:21Oh, no!
03:24You're out of the penalty box!
03:28Well, everything is solved!
03:29I have to go, uh, work on my new Pauly Shore movie!
03:33No!
03:35Well, thank God everything's solved!
03:36Yes!
03:37I should stay, but, uh, what the puck!
03:41Thank goodness you've solved that!
03:42Thank you!
03:43That was fantastic!
03:44Hundred points for everybody except for Colin, who gets minus a thousand for mentioning Pauly
03:57Shore!
03:58We're gonna want a game called Song Styles!
03:59This is for Wayne!
04:00Wayne!
04:01You're gonna be assisted by Laura Hall on the piano!
04:02How about a hand for Laura Hall on the piano?
04:03Wayne Brady is gonna make up a song about somebody in the audience!
04:17Oh, okay!
04:18What's your name?
04:19Jennifer!
04:20Jennifer, and what do you do?
04:21I'm a student!
04:22Student of what?
04:23Uh, English literature!
04:24English literature!
04:25I'll bet!
04:32This is Jennifer, the girl who thinks she's better than everybody because she reads books!
04:37She's a literature major!
04:38Good luck!
04:39Thanks!
04:40Uh, you're gonna be singing a song to her in the style of Luther Vandross!
04:43Okay!
04:56Pardon me, girl!
04:58I was reading my book!
05:00But I saw you in the library, so I had to take a second look!
05:04Do you understand?
05:06I want to be your boy!
05:07I don't care if you call me Charles or maybe Tolstoy!
05:12Oh!
05:13I know, girl, that you're your father's daughter!
05:16I saw you cause you read books and I know you're a little smarter!
05:21Can I come and talk to you for a while?
05:24I've got a lot of books!
05:26Hey, pick any stuff!
05:28I've got English books and science books and chemistry books!
05:32I've got Canterbury Tens!
05:35Why don't you take a look?
05:37I've got Playboy books!
05:38No, I don't!
05:39Just kidding!
05:40Hey!
05:42I want you to read it with me!
05:44Why don't you read with me?
05:46Page one is love!
05:48Page two is love!
05:50Page three is love!
05:52Page four is love!
05:54Page five is love!
05:56Page six is love!
06:01Thank you, girl!
06:04Thank you, girl!
06:05Thank you, girl!
06:09Thank you, thank you!
06:10Very nice!
06:11During the whole song, I thought you were singing to me.
06:24I was, Drew.
06:25A million points forever and ever and ever.
06:33Okay, now let's play a game called Weird Newscasters.
06:36This is for all four of you.
06:37Colin is going to be the anchorman of a local news show.
06:39And Greg, Wayne, and Ryan are his co-presenters on the show.
06:42But each one is a rather odd character.
06:45Colin, your co-anchor is Greg.
06:47Greg's a gremlin.
06:51Wayne, you're the sportscaster.
06:54You're an overly emotional preacher at a funeral.
06:58And the weatherman is Ryan.
06:59Ryan, you're being attacked by increasingly ferocious animals.
07:05So, Greg, whenever you hear the music, go ahead and give it a shot.
07:09Welcome to the 6 o'clock news.
07:15I'm your anchor, Wolverine St. Jack John.
07:18Our top story.
07:19An infinite amount of monkeys came up with the Foxfall lineup.
07:24And now we go over to our co-anchor,
07:27twice nightly.
07:44Bye, Billy.
07:50You should never have taken that shower.
07:52And now off we go to sports.
08:01In today's sports,
08:04the Redskins.
08:05Who are we to call them Redskins?
08:09Just because they catch the ball and run,
08:10no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
08:11What are we?
08:12Call them the Redskins.
08:14Because he who passes the ball is he who catches,
08:17but is not the one who doth thought that he caught the ball,
08:19therefore with, amen?
08:22I don't know.
08:23I don't want you to clap.
08:24I don't want you to clap.
08:25I want you to think.
08:26The next time you're throwing the ball,
08:28is he going to catch it?
08:29No, because the Lord got the ball.
08:30The Lord got the ball.
08:31You don't got the ball.
08:32I got the ball.
08:37Praise you.
08:40It's good.
08:42Thank you, sir.
08:43This just in.
08:47Nine out of ten dentists agree
08:49the tenth one should really chill out.
08:51And now it's time to go over
08:52to our wacky weatherman,
08:55Jigs McKenzie.
08:56Well, thank you very much.
08:57As you can see,
08:58we've got some hot weather coming in,
09:00some flash floods in store for us.
09:04Which should be forcing the small critters
09:07out of their homes.
09:08In the future,
09:11we've got enough news.
09:14Rats!
09:15Rats!
09:16Rats!
09:18Rats!
09:19Yes!
09:20Rats!
09:23Rats!
09:26Rats!
09:30Well, that's the 60-hour news.
09:32See you again tomorrow
09:33on Wolverine's and Get Gone!
09:38That was fantastic.
09:41Hey,
09:42while I figure out the points,
09:43we're going to show a commercial,
09:44don't go anywhere.
09:45We'll be right back
09:46with more
09:47Whose Line Is It Anyway?
09:49right after this.
09:58Hey,
09:58welcome back
09:59to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
10:00The show
10:01where everything's made up
10:02and the points don't matter.
10:03I've tallied up the points,
10:04and if you want to check the score
10:05for today's game,
10:06check your TV guide.
10:08Okay,
10:10now we go on to a game
10:11called Greatest Hits.
10:12This is for Colin,
10:13Ryan,
10:13and Wayne
10:14with the help of Laura Hall
10:15on the piano.
10:19Laura Hall.
10:23Colin and Ryan
10:23are going to be pitchmen
10:24on a TV commercial,
10:26and they're going to be talking
10:27about the latest compilation album,
10:28and Wayne is going to try
10:29to sing snippets
10:30of the songs
10:31that they suggest.
10:32And what we need
10:33from the audience
10:33is the sort of profession
10:35you wouldn't normally
10:35sing songs about.
10:36Lifeguard.
10:40Lifeguard.
10:41Lifeguard.
10:42So, uh,
10:44the name of the album
10:45is Songs of the Lifeguard.
10:48Hi,
10:48we'll be back to your movie
10:49The Buns of Navarone
10:50in just a minute,
10:51but first,
10:52get out those checkbooks
10:53because we have got
10:55a deal for you.
10:56Sand,
10:56water,
10:57muscles,
10:58gleaming things.
10:59It all spells the beach.
11:02And yet,
11:03the beach can be
11:03a dangerous place.
11:04That's why we have people
11:05we call lifeguards.
11:06And throughout the ages,
11:07lifeguards have been
11:08sung about in song
11:10and in song
11:11because that's the only way
11:12you can sing about them.
11:14A little less coffee
11:15next time.
11:16I guess so.
11:17That's right,
11:19different styles of songs
11:20all about the lifeguard.
11:21Who could ever forget
11:22that grace,
11:23great,
11:24or grace,
11:25I say grace
11:26because it's a gospel hit,
11:27Shark,
11:28Shark,
11:28I think I see a shark.
11:30Now I'm waiting
11:38for you to fill me
11:39with your power.
11:41Yeah.
11:42Oh,
11:43I'm getting nice and brown
11:44and stop here
11:44in my watchtower.
11:47Oh,
11:48look at that.
11:49My terror begins.
11:50There goes the blonde lady
11:51being chased by a fin.
11:53It's a shark.
11:54Woo!
11:55Oh,
11:55it's a shark.
11:56Run, girl,
11:57run.
11:59Better swim.
12:00Lord,
12:00make us swim.
12:01Get away from him.
12:03Hey,
12:03hey,
12:04Lord,
12:04Lord,
12:05oh,
12:05believe what I saw.
12:07Get away from him
12:08because a little
12:09blonde,
12:10suffered girl
12:10got eaten by jars.
12:13Oh,
12:13yeah.
12:15Yeah.
12:18You know,
12:25there's over 300 songs
12:26on this 2D TD.
12:28I'm having problems
12:29speaking today.
12:29It's a darn coffee.
12:32Well,
12:32let's go right on
12:33to our next song,
12:34the great salsa hit
12:36Son of a Beach.
12:36Now listen to me,
12:53get in my tongue.
12:56I'm here in the sand
12:57dressed in my tongue.
12:59All of the sunlight
13:02come to me
13:02so it didn't reach.
13:04Oh,
13:05I'm dark as can be
13:06because I'm a son
13:07of a beach.
13:08Oh,
13:09I'm on the beach.
13:11On the beach.
13:12I'm on the beach.
13:15I'm on the beach.
13:16Cha-cha-cha.
13:28And if you order now,
13:30you can get the
13:30companion song to that,
13:31Two Thongs Don't Make a Tights.
13:33Say,
13:34how much would you pay
13:35for a 2TD CD set
13:37like this?
13:38Well,
13:38I would pay
13:39upwards of $20.
13:41How much do you think
13:42the average person
13:43would pay?
13:44$89.
13:45That's right.
13:46And that's what it is,
13:47$89.
13:48You know,
13:48we've traveled
13:49all over America
13:50putting together
13:51the songs for this CD
13:52and I don't think
13:54I've felt anymore
13:55like I was on the beach
13:56when I heard
13:57that lounge hit
13:58simply titled
13:59Blum Blum Blum Blum.
14:08Thanks.
14:11How many times
14:13have you drowned?
14:15Ten,
14:16right?
14:16how many times have you made this annoying sound i don't know oh you know you couldn't get too far
14:27because you're dying and you need cpr and when that's happened there's only one thing to say
14:34you go
14:37oh you go
14:40hey you go
14:43you go
14:46that was great and that'll be a thousand points for laura hall
15:16now we're going to a game called party quirks greg is going to be hosting a party and wayne colin and
15:21ryan are going to be a guest at the party uh each of them is going to have a strange quirk or identity
15:26the quirks or identities are written on these cards here they've never seen these cards before
15:30until just now they're seeing them for the first time and greg has to guess what the quirks are
15:34so uh wayne colin ryan once you line up over there and i'll bring you one at a time with
15:38the doorbell and greg whenever you're ready start the party psh psh psh psh sea otter
15:46you know we have a bathroom way
15:48hi wayne hey dude what's up good to see you man it's all right how you been man it's good to see
15:55you oh dude your place looks really good but it could use a bit of spooching up boy
16:01where's the broccoli dip out of kick your ass
16:05yep it's it's over here you you you want a drink or something or
16:08you know we have a bathroom wayne i hang on i gotta get the door hello call
16:21hi call hello i've brought some rules for the party
16:28rules yes part
16:30we don't we don't hey go easy on that what do you mean you want some hang on i gotta get the door
16:38hello ryan
16:42come on
16:52you like my drew i just had him put in hey ryan have you met uh this guy here he's growing older and
17:18older as we speak
17:34right can i
17:36you know mr heston it's wonderful to have you
17:52right
17:55can i tempt you with some blood or something or uh or because you're a bat but you're not really a bat i
18:01just say that you you you my god who let this pterodactyl into the you he's you know that's the
18:10last time i invite the vultures over oh philadelphia is a clue the philadelphia is a clue
18:16philadelphia football team oh yes i understand now
18:22come here you're the symbol of our country come here and light on my arm you eagle
18:25you
18:30see that was great when we come back we'll find out who the winners are and we'll do a little
18:35game with me don't go away we'll have more who's line is there anyway right after this
18:46hey welcome back to who's lying is it anyway
18:50i decided that the winner of tonight's game is greg proofs thank you greg
18:55nice job
18:58because he's the winner he gets to sit at my desk and the rest of us have to play a game called
19:03questions only wayne and i'll start and what happens is we can only speak in questions that's
19:07all we're allowed to do if we make a mistake uh greg will buzz us out and the next person will take
19:12our place and greg what's our scene your scene is a tourist hotel is about to turn into the towering
19:18inferno questions only please smoke do you smell it what
19:25how long have you smoked would you believe 16 years
19:31oops huh do you know where the fire extinguisher is can you break open that glass hurry i can't do it
19:39what's going on will god save us is god a fireman what if god were one of us
19:52what do you mean by that do you know where the water is
19:59don't you speak english
20:08do i speak english
20:14can you put me out can you put me out would you like to check in
20:19can't you see that i'm on fire are those flames
20:22what are you blind where did i put that hose
20:26do you have any back team do you have any back team
20:30was that water hot
20:35owl
20:35is everything all right have you stayed at the baits hotel before
20:45isn't that dangerous
20:51do you have a room for three how many didn't you hear me three
20:55you mean three people what do you think i mean would you believe a guy came in here with three dogs
21:03did he look like this
21:12why is it so hot in here can't you see i'm trying to turn up the water sprinklers
21:16have you ever been in a hotel that was this wet and hot all at the same time
21:19have you ever been to san francisco
21:26that's it that's it okay thanks very much
21:28thank you
21:40so
21:48so