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  • 6/20/2025
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Transcript
00:00:00Previously on Desperate Housewives
00:00:03My back, I threw it out
00:00:04Geez, are you crying?
00:00:06Just a little
00:00:07Edie got an unexpected visitor
00:00:09Remember my little boy?
00:00:10I didn't know your son was coming for a visit
00:00:11His father just dumped him here for four weeks
00:00:13Gabby became the object of Victor's desire
00:00:16Have you not noticed?
00:00:17I'm a catch
00:00:18I have noticed
00:00:19And I'm throwing your back
00:00:21And as Mike struggled to recall his past
00:00:23Ian's jealousy spurred him to action
00:00:26Would you be my wife?
00:00:28Yes!
00:00:30God, I'm so nervous
00:00:35Don't be
00:00:35They're going to adore you as much as I do
00:00:37Oh, thanks, I needed to hear that
00:00:39Ah, darling
00:00:41Thorns
00:00:42Oh, I'm so sorry
00:00:44If there was one thing Ian Hainsworth was sure of
00:00:48It was that his love for Susan Meyer
00:00:51Was indestructible
00:00:52He knew this because it had been tested again
00:00:56And again
00:00:59And again
00:01:01Still, Ian had found a way to forgive Susan her occasional lack of grace
00:01:08Oh, here they come
00:01:10The question now on his mind was
00:01:14Would his parents be able to do the same?
00:01:17Oh, dear boy
00:01:19This is my fiancée, Susan
00:01:21These are my parents, Graham and Dahlia
00:01:23Delighted
00:01:24You weren't exaggerating
00:01:25She's a vision
00:01:26Oh, it's so great to finally meet both of you
00:01:28Oh, this is for you
00:01:30Careful, mother
00:01:31Thorns
00:01:33Ian, I know how to hold a rose
00:01:35Of course, I just didn't want Susan to
00:01:37You're right, sorry
00:01:41Anyone hungry?
00:01:43Yes
00:01:43So one puts the meat atop the burning coals
00:01:48Oh, how wonderfully primal
00:01:49Yes, I'll feel like some gloriously rough-hewn cowgirl
00:01:53Enjoying her
00:01:54What's the word?
00:01:56Vittles?
00:01:57No, that can't be right
00:01:58No, it is
00:01:58It's vittles
00:01:59So, um, can I get you something to drink?
00:02:02I did all just a thimble of gin
00:02:04Oh, shh
00:02:05No, no, you stay, darling
00:02:06I can manage
00:02:07It seems to be going rather well, Touchwood
00:02:13Were you worried?
00:02:15Well, you know, introducing one's fiancée to one's parents is always a bit fraught
00:02:18Oh, you don't have to tell me
00:02:19The first time I met Dahlia's parents was a complete disaster
00:02:22We were at tea and there was this plate of small cakes
00:02:25And as I offered one to her mother
00:02:27I tipped the plate and plop, a scone fell right into a leadership teacup
00:02:31Ouch
00:02:32Earl Grey everywhere, on the cloth, above the skirt
00:02:35You must have been mortified
00:02:37Oh, I was
00:02:37It was an absolute debacle
00:02:39Um, guys
00:02:42Uh, don't worry
00:02:44She's all right
00:02:46Yes, Ian Hainsworth knew his love for Susan was indestructible
00:02:52Unfortunately for his mother
00:02:55Chiffon
00:02:56Was not
00:02:58Chiffon
00:03:00Um, the girl
00:03:03And the girl
00:03:08Going back in town
00:03:16Vamos
00:03:16We'll be back in town
00:03:17We'll be back in town
00:03:20In every housewife's closet, there's a treasured article of clothing that she refuses to part with.
00:03:44It might be an old cheerleader uniform that symbolizes her youth.
00:03:50Or the last bikini she wore, before she had children.
00:03:55Or a pair of expensive pants, she prays will come back in style.
00:04:01But for Gabrielle Solis, every piece of clothing was a treasure.
00:04:06Carefully selected, beautifully maintained, and utterly irreplaceable.
00:04:13Yeah, well, you bought another bustier.
00:04:21I know. I should never shop for lingerie when I'm horny. It's like buying groceries when you're hungry.
00:04:26In a slump, huh? How long has it been?
00:04:28About three weeks, and I'm dying.
00:04:31You know, I'm this close to seducing my gardener.
00:04:33Been there, done that.
00:04:34Mmm, that scrumptious teenager of yours.
00:04:37Hey, do you think?
00:04:37He's married.
00:04:39Oh, damn.
00:04:40How about that fixer, Lang? Have you two?
00:04:43No. God, no. As a matter of fact, I think I'm dumping him after dinner tonight.
00:04:47Why? He's rich, he's gorgeous, he's probably going to be mayor.
00:04:50I mean, what more do you want?
00:04:51I don't know. He's just too arrogant. He acts like I've got some trophy he's already won. It's infuriating.
00:04:57Yeah, it's awful.
00:04:58Can I do it?
00:04:59Oh, stop it.
00:05:00You cannot be that hard up.
00:05:02Did I mention my gardener's 62?
00:05:06What the hell is this?
00:05:09Ooh.
00:05:13Oh, my God.
00:05:23No!
00:05:27Hey, hey, hey.
00:05:28Hey, hey, hey.
00:05:30Honey, where's your uniform?
00:05:34Oh, crap. I left it at home again.
00:05:36Yeah, um, I figured you would. Again. That's why.
00:05:41I pulled an extra one from the back.
00:05:43Oh, thanks. Are you sure it's the right...
00:05:46Yep, your size.
00:05:49Listen, I was thinking, wouldn't it be better if the staff wore a uniform and you and I wore regular clothes?
00:05:55That way it's like, hi, welcome to Scavo's. We're the Scavo's.
00:05:58Yeah, but I like wearing the uniform, and when you don't, it looks like we all work for you.
00:06:04Oh, good point. Okay, here's another good point. I hate orange.
00:06:08Since when?
00:06:08Since always. You know my closet. Surely you've noticed I don't own anything orange.
00:06:13No, I hadn't really...
00:06:13Orange says, beware, something bad's gonna happen. That's why they use it for life vests and traffic cones and convicts.
00:06:19Lynette? Also, it washes me out completely.
00:06:23You're wearing the uniform.
00:06:27Are you speaking as my husband or as my boss?
00:06:31Definitely your boss. Your husband.
00:06:34Too damn scared of you.
00:06:37As well he should be.
00:06:39As Edie walked home, all she could think of was her non-existent love life.
00:06:45That's me, Carl.
00:06:46And how much she wanted back in the game.
00:06:50It was just then she saw someone she might like to play with.
00:06:56Hey, did you see that, Edie?
00:07:04Kids looking good, huh?
00:07:05Hmm, looking real good.
00:07:07Can we play another game?
00:07:08No, it's lunchtime. You go wash up.
00:07:09Bye, Carlos.
00:07:10Bye.
00:07:12Oh, you have been so great with Traverse.
00:07:14Let me take your half for steak tonight.
00:07:16You don't have to pay me back. I'm having more fun than he is.
00:07:19Well then, we'll just have to arrange for another play date.
00:07:24Anytime.
00:07:26Look who's back.
00:07:32Yes. Let's try this again, shall we?
00:07:35Yeah, I am so sorry.
00:07:36Please, not another word.
00:07:38Chiffon at a barbecue.
00:07:39I was asking to be immolated.
00:07:42Drink with dinner, Mother.
00:07:43Oh, God, yes.
00:07:44Oh, not that chair. That's the wobbler.
00:07:46I'm saving up for a new set. I sit here.
00:07:51Ian tells us you have a young daughter.
00:07:53Won't she be joining us?
00:07:55Julie?
00:07:55Uh, no. She's at her father's this weekend.
00:07:58Oh.
00:08:00Is something wrong?
00:08:02Oh, it's just that Ian told us that your husband had been gone for years.
00:08:06We assumed you were a widow.
00:08:08Oh, no.
00:08:09Carl's alive and kicking.
00:08:11Sadly.
00:08:11So, you're a divorcee.
00:08:15What happened? Did he beat you?
00:08:18No. But of course not.
00:08:21She had ample grounds, Mother. Carl was a shameless womanizer.
00:08:24So it was just adultery.
00:08:26Just adultery?
00:08:27From my way of thinking, men are, by nature, weak.
00:08:32I think Graham will back me up on that.
00:08:34Really, Dahlia?
00:08:35Oh.
00:08:35If you want your marriage to last, when your husband strays, you extract some suitable penance.
00:08:43And get on with it.
00:08:46Punish the sin, but love the sinner.
00:08:49Yeah, well, with Carl, I was more divorce the ass and seize the assets.
00:08:53So you better watch out. Betrayal makes me vengeful.
00:08:59Well, that's good to know.
00:09:03Yes, it certainly is.
00:09:09Apparently, the water heater in the attic had burst.
00:09:11Everything is ruined. My clothes, my shoes, dresses.
00:09:14Why are you smiling?
00:09:16Well, we have different perspectives.
00:09:18You see ruined clothes, and I see a woman who could suddenly use a rich boyfriend.
00:09:21You will never be my boyfriend.
00:09:23Gabby, how much longer are you going to pretend you're not crazy about me?
00:09:26Not much longer. This is our last date.
00:09:28Hmm. Didn't you say it was our last date on our last date?
00:09:31I mean it this time.
00:09:32Well, do me a favor. Mean it next time. I'm getting an award tomorrow at the Rotary Club.
00:09:36Boring.
00:09:38Come on. I want my date to be the most beautiful woman in the room.
00:09:40Is that supposed to flatter me?
00:09:42Only if you've never seen the women of the Rotary Club.
00:09:44Oh, shut up and get me a sweater. Have you even noticed how cold I am?
00:09:48Noticed. It's made my whole evening.
00:09:52Sweater, now.
00:09:53How about a nice, uh, cashmere cardigan?
00:10:03Oh. My. God.
00:10:06What?
00:10:07Look at this.
00:10:08There's LaCroix and Angaro and vintage Gaultier.
00:10:12Yeah, I don't really know much about fashion.
00:10:15Shh. I can hear you.
00:10:18Oh, my God. There's another rat back here.
00:10:21Is this all your ex-wife's stuff?
00:10:22Yeah. She's storing it here until her new house is ready.
00:10:25Oh, my God.
00:10:25She wears my size.
00:10:28It's amazing. Nobody wears my size.
00:10:30Well, I guess I have a type.
00:10:32And normally, that would creep me out.
00:10:34Except it means that I can borrow this one-of-a-kind on Vdari for our date.
00:10:38Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:10:39Heel, girl.
00:10:40This belongs to my ex.
00:10:42So?
00:10:42So I don't think she'd appreciate me loaning her clothes to my girlfriend.
00:10:46Okay.
00:10:47A, I'm not your girlfriend.
00:10:48And B, she's not going to find out unless you tell her.
00:10:52Come on.
00:10:54A dress this gorgeous is meant to be seen.
00:10:57Every day it hangs in a closet and an angel loses its wings.
00:11:00That's very cute.
00:11:01But the answer is still no.
00:11:03Come on. Let's go.
00:11:04I just wanted a moment to say goodbye.
00:11:20So in the next scene, the guy wakes up and the girl, Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock, one of those,
00:11:26is standing there holding a tray of pancakes.
00:11:30What happens then?
00:11:31I keep telling you. I don't remember.
00:11:33What's the difference?
00:11:34It's just some stupid movie I saw.
00:11:36Yet every time you remember it, you feel sad or upset.
00:11:39I think something happened at that movie or just afterwards.
00:11:43Who did you see it with?
00:11:45Well, it's obviously some chick flick.
00:11:48So probably Susan.
00:11:49Well, why not ask her about it?
00:11:50Maybe she can tell you what happened.
00:11:52No. No, I don't want to bother her.
00:11:54She just got engaged.
00:11:56Mike, this therapy isn't just about recovering your memories.
00:11:59It's about you getting closure.
00:12:01Now, the emotions you're feeling won't be resolved until you know what they're about.
00:12:05I don't know.
00:12:06Come on. Talk to Susan.
00:12:08What could it hurt?
00:12:12That's awesome. I love model airplanes.
00:12:14So will you help me put it together?
00:12:15Sure.
00:12:16I'll see you tomorrow after school.
00:12:17Can you come at seven instead?
00:12:19Why so late?
00:12:20Mom says I can't play until I finish my homework.
00:12:22Bye.
00:12:22He's coming.
00:12:25So, can I stay open and watch my show now?
00:12:27You can stay up as late as you want, champ.
00:12:30Tomorrow, you are going to have an early night.
00:12:39Your father's been up there 20 minutes.
00:12:41Are you sure he's okay?
00:12:42He's fine.
00:12:42He always lies down after dinner.
00:12:44He says it helps his digestion.
00:12:45Relax.
00:12:45It's going very well.
00:12:46I set your mother on fire.
00:12:49And you've been relentlessly charming ever since.
00:12:51Trust me, when she looks back in tonight, she won't even remember the fire.
00:12:56But she may remember this.
00:13:00Oh my God, I'm so sorry.
00:13:02Are you all right?
00:13:03Yes, I'm perfectly fine.
00:13:05At least this blouse made it through dinner.
00:13:07Let me get you a towel.
00:13:08Oh, hello.
00:13:20Oh, I hope you don't mind.
00:13:22Dahlia has a birthday coming up.
00:13:24And I saw this hanging there.
00:13:25And I thought, a robe.
00:13:27Well, there's an ocean.
00:13:29So I just tried it on.
00:13:31To get a sense of the drip.
00:13:34Were you also thinking of getting her a lace bra?
00:13:37Oh, dear God.
00:13:39Please don't mention this to any of my family.
00:13:42Just take the robe off.
00:13:47And whatever you have on underneath, consider that yours.
00:13:52Be reasonable, dear.
00:13:53I'm only trying to protect you.
00:13:55From Susan?
00:13:56Well, she doesn't care about my money.
00:13:58She's never asked me for a cent.
00:13:59Your logic is as wobbly as the dining room chairs.
00:14:01She can't afford to replace.
00:14:03I love Susan, and I won't ask her to do this.
00:14:06Oh, hello.
00:14:07Mother's fine.
00:14:08I found her a sweater.
00:14:09Oh.
00:14:10So, uh, what won't you ask me?
00:14:13Nothing.
00:14:13I was wondering if you'd object to signing a document that says,
00:14:17should you and Ian part ways,
00:14:20you'll accept a cash settlement and not go after the money he inherits from us.
00:14:25You mean a prenup?
00:14:28Please, try to understand.
00:14:30Our country estate has been in our family for generations.
00:14:34We want it preserved for the children we hope Ian will have,
00:14:38not lost in some pricey divorce.
00:14:40Well, who's getting divorced?
00:14:43I'm in this for keeps.
00:14:45I'm sure you said the same to your first husband before you belted with all you could carry.
00:14:50Okay, hey.
00:14:50Mother, Susan is not signing anything.
00:14:54Fine.
00:14:54Then we'll leave it all to your brother.
00:14:57Oh, do you think Nigel's going to give you a grandson?
00:14:59He's an alcoholic homosexual.
00:15:01With a castle at stake, he can learn a new skill.
00:15:04Okay, stop this.
00:15:06We invited you here to celebrate our engagement.
00:15:08Now I'm divorced and Ian's disinherited?
00:15:11Hello.
00:15:12Have I missed anything?
00:15:14We'll be going soon.
00:15:16Please, don't be offended.
00:15:18All of us go into marriage convinced that everything will be perfect.
00:15:24God knows I did.
00:15:26And then one day I found a bill for some expensive lingerie.
00:15:31Bustios, penoirs.
00:15:33None of it in my size.
00:15:34It suddenly opened my eyes.
00:15:37But I'm not like my father.
00:15:39Trust him, he's not.
00:15:42I'm sorry, Ian.
00:15:52Hey, guys.
00:15:54Hey, Mr. Scavo.
00:15:56I'm sorry, we were just taking a quick break.
00:15:57We'll get back to work.
00:15:58No, don't be silly.
00:16:01Who am I, Tom?
00:16:02I'm one of you guys.
00:16:03Sit down.
00:16:04Hey.
00:16:08You know what we could use?
00:16:12A good old-fashioned bitch session.
00:16:15Get some stuff off our chests.
00:16:17So, what's bugging you guys?
00:16:19Okay, I'll go first.
00:16:20How do we feel about these uniforms?
00:16:22A little... eh.
00:16:24Uh, okay.
00:16:28But hey, why do we have to pull our tits?
00:16:31Why can't we just keep what we earn?
00:16:33Uh-huh, uh-huh.
00:16:33Good point, good point.
00:16:34But right now, we're talking about these ugly-ass uniforms.
00:16:38So, you know what bugs me?
00:16:39No health benefits.
00:16:41I'm kind of worried about this mole.
00:16:42Focus, people.
00:16:43Well, the subject is shirts.
00:16:46It's killing morale.
00:16:47Well, I kind of like them.
00:16:48Really, Kim?
00:16:50Because I heard one of your customers say that when Halloween comes around, we should stick
00:16:55a candle in your mouth.
00:16:56See?
00:16:58Morale, you guys need to stand up for yourselves.
00:17:01It's your right.
00:17:02No, it's your obligation to go to management and demand new shirts.
00:17:07And if management doesn't like it, you tell them he can go scream.
00:17:11Okay, okay.
00:17:13Break's over, people.
00:17:14I'm going to go find Tom and talk.
00:17:17Oh, good.
00:17:18Uh-huh.
00:17:26I can't believe you tried to undermine me like this.
00:17:30Well, you gave me no choice.
00:17:33It's just a uniform.
00:17:35Why can't you wear it?
00:17:36Because I need to win one, Tom.
00:17:38What?
00:17:39You keep ordering me around and disagreeing with me and overruling me, and I'm sick of it.
00:17:44We have to do things my way at least every once in a while.
00:17:46This was the deal, Lynette.
00:17:48You agreed.
00:17:49I'm in charge here.
00:17:50You're in charge at all.
00:17:51Except we're never home.
00:17:52We live here.
00:17:52Our marriage happens here.
00:17:56You know what?
00:17:57We can't talk about this now.
00:17:59We open in ten minutes.
00:18:00Maybe later...
00:18:01Later, I'll be asleep, and then I will be back here before you wake up.
00:18:04We've got to deal with this now.
00:18:06Okay.
00:18:06All right.
00:18:09We're going to deal with this now.
00:18:10I'm going to get ready for the dinner rush, and you're going to wear the damn uniform.
00:18:23No.
00:18:25What?
00:18:26I'm going home.
00:18:30You're walking out on me.
00:18:34I told you orange meant something bad was going to happen.
00:18:36I told you orange meant something bad was going to happen, and I was driving through your neighborhood after having, like, three iced teas, and I really have to go to the bathroom.
00:18:59Do you mind?
00:18:59Oh, you and I are going to be so happy together.
00:19:24I feel ten pounds lighter.
00:19:55Oh, you and I are going to be so happy.
00:19:56Oh, you and I are going to be so happy.
00:19:57Oh, you and I are going to be so happy.
00:20:01Oh, you and I are going to be so happy.
00:20:02Hey, you got a minute?
00:20:03I, uh, I need your help with something.
00:20:05Oh, you and I are going to be so happy.
00:20:06I am going to be so happy.
00:20:07I am going to be so happy.
00:20:08I am going to be so happy.
00:20:09I am going to be so happy.
00:20:10I am going to be so happy.
00:20:14And so the last part I remember, the girl is putting these raw pancakes in front of him,
00:20:19and then something else funny happened. I don't remember. It was just a stupid chick flick.
00:20:24Mike, it wasn't a movie. That was us.
00:20:27What?
00:20:29Yeah, um, that was the first night that we spent together. I wanted to surprise you.
00:20:35With raw pancakes?
00:20:36Well, they weren't all raw. I was trying to spell Mike, and the M was goopy, but the Ike was delicious. You loved it.
00:20:44I did, huh?
00:20:44Actually, no, it was gross. But you were really sweet. You just gave me a lot of kisses and said,
00:20:49not to worry, I'd get a lot of chances to make you pancakes, because...
00:20:52Because I was planning on spending the rest of my mornings with you.
00:20:59You remember?
00:21:01Yeah.
00:21:07I should go, because Ian's parents are here.
00:21:14It's nice to see you. Thank you both for coming.
00:21:22You know, I know I've said it ten times, but you look fantastic.
00:21:26And my offer still stands.
00:21:28You do not have to pay for my dress.
00:21:30Come on, you only need it for my luncheon, and it looks like it cost a bundle.
00:21:34Trust me, it was a steal.
00:21:36I'm going to go powder my nose, and then you can start showing me up.
00:21:39Heads up, I just saw your ex-wife.
00:21:45What is she doing here?
00:21:46Some friend of hers is getting a plaque, too.
00:21:49You want to duck out after your speech?
00:21:51Are you kidding?
00:21:52I can't wait until she gets a good long look at Gabby.
00:21:54Hey.
00:22:03Hey.
00:22:05Hello.
00:22:07I love your dress.
00:22:10Thanks.
00:22:11It's one of a kind, isn't it?
00:22:12Yeah, couture.
00:22:15Andari?
00:22:17Wow, good eye.
00:22:18Well, I do have an unfair advantage.
00:22:22I bought it.
00:22:23So, you're, uh...
00:22:27Well, first, let me just say, you have amazing taste.
00:22:31If we had met in any other context, we would so get along.
00:22:34I left those clothes with Victor so he could store them, not loan them to his sluts.
00:22:39Okay, you're mad, so I'm just going to blow right by that slut crack.
00:22:43I want my dress back now.
00:22:46Okay, let's be reasonable.
00:22:47You can't wear two dresses to one lunch.
00:22:49It's not like I have a spare in the car.
00:22:50Not my problem.
00:22:51Give me back the dress.
00:22:53Go ahead.
00:22:54Yell all you want.
00:22:55You can't force me to take off this dress.
00:22:57This is pepper spray.
00:23:00In three seconds, your eyeballs will be on fire.
00:23:04Could you help me with a clasp?
00:23:09Hello, Samantha.
00:23:10I heard you were...
00:23:11Isn't that Gabby's dress?
00:23:12Gabby, you in there?
00:23:21Hey, Victor.
00:23:23Uh, probably wondering why I've been in here so long.
00:23:27Funny story, I ran into your ex-wife.
00:23:29Yeah, she brought me up to speed.
00:23:31Okay, it's time for bed, Travers.
00:23:47But I want to show Carlis my new turtle.
00:23:50Oh, right.
00:23:52I'm tired.
00:23:53That's okay, buddy.
00:23:54I gotta get going anyway.
00:23:55Hey, you haven't even finished your wine.
00:23:57Sorry, early day tomorrow.
00:23:58Come on, kiddo.
00:23:59I'll tuck you in.
00:24:18Stay tight, Travers.
00:24:20Oh, no.
00:24:21I'm such a klutz.
00:24:22I think I broke it.
00:24:23Nah, it's just a flap.
00:24:24I can fix it.
00:24:24I can't see what I'm doing here.
00:24:37Oh, I'm sorry.
00:24:41Maybe I should watch so that if it breaks again, I can fix it.
00:24:46Okay, um, so this hinge needs to go in at this angle so that the flap works.
00:24:52See?
00:24:53God, you're so mechanical.
00:24:56Edie, what are you doing?
00:24:59Learning about flaps.
00:25:01Nah, I think you're coming on to me.
00:25:04Maybe.
00:25:05Okay, Edie, no.
00:25:07Come on.
00:25:09We're close friends, and I don't want to ruin that.
00:25:11Well, we're not that close.
00:25:12Let's just do it.
00:25:13We'll see where it goes.
00:25:14Okay, you know what?
00:25:15It wouldn't go anywhere.
00:25:16Why not?
00:25:19Because I'm looking for a girl who wants to settle down and be in a serious relationship,
00:25:24and you're not that type.
00:25:26Oh, what type am I?
00:25:30You're the fun type.
00:25:31Who likes to dress sexy and go out and meet new people,
00:25:34and then go out the next night and meet another new people.
00:25:39You think I'm from a excuse?
00:25:40I'm just saying, for a house and a cul-de-sac, this place sees a lot of traffic.
00:25:44Just because I'm popular doesn't mean that I'm incapable of a lasting commitment.
00:25:49Look, you can't even commit to your kid.
00:25:51He's here for a month, and you keep dumping him on neighbors so you can go shopping.
00:25:54That is, when you're not using him for sex bait.
00:25:55Get out of my house.
00:26:08Tom, me again.
00:26:10You should have been home 30 minutes ago.
00:26:12I know.
00:26:12You're still mad.
00:26:13I am, too.
00:26:14So why don't you come home, and we can be mad together.
00:26:16See you soon.
00:26:18So what kind of orange is this shirt?
00:26:20Like a salmon or a coral?
00:26:23Oh, cheese doodle.
00:26:25Exactly.
00:26:26And I'm supposed to wear that every damn day.
00:26:28Oh, please.
00:26:28It's not that bad.
00:26:30I once worked at this fish and chip place.
00:26:31I had to wear an eye patch and a stuffed parrot on my shoulder.
00:26:34Would you like to hear our specials?
00:26:37Why don't you just tell Tom to pick another color?
00:26:40This isn't about the shirt anymore.
00:26:42This is about us working together.
00:26:44Every day it's a battle.
00:26:45It's hurting our marriage.
00:26:47You know what?
00:26:48I'll just tell Tom I need to step back.
00:26:51You mean quit?
00:26:52Yeah.
00:26:52I could hire a manager or something.
00:26:55Wow.
00:26:56How do you think Tom's going to feel about that?
00:26:59Well, once he decides to stop hiding, I can ask him.
00:27:03You know what?
00:27:04I'm tired of waiting.
00:27:05I'm going to go down there, and I'm going to talk to him.
00:27:08See you guys later.
00:27:09So I guess this means we're babysitting the kids, huh?
00:27:16I guess so.
00:27:17I'm an idiot.
00:27:18Would you guys mind?
00:27:20We got it.
00:27:20Just go.
00:27:34Tom!
00:27:37Come on.
00:27:37I know you're still here.
00:27:39You realize what time it is?
00:27:43I know.
00:27:44You're mad.
00:27:46But you just...
00:27:47You can't avoid me all night.
00:27:50Oh, my God.
00:27:53Oh, my God.
00:27:54Oh, my God.
00:27:55Oh, my God.
00:27:55Oh, my God.
00:27:56Come on, Tom.
00:27:57Tell me.
00:27:58Tell me.
00:27:58Tell me.
00:27:58Yeah.
00:27:59Okay.
00:27:59Okay.
00:28:00You're breathing.
00:28:01That's good.
00:28:02That's good.
00:28:03Yeah.
00:28:05Hello.
00:28:06Hi.
00:28:06There's something wrong.
00:28:07Yeah, with my husband.
00:28:08I don't know.
00:28:10I don't know.
00:28:11He's unconscious.
00:28:13357 Hawthorne Place.
00:28:15Okay.
00:28:16Could you please hurry?
00:28:19Yes.
00:28:20Yes.
00:28:20Listen to me.
00:28:30I forbid you to die.
00:28:34If you leave me with a mortgage and a restaurant and five kids, I swear I will track you into
00:28:41the deepest pit of hell and make you pay.
00:28:43Do you hear me?
00:28:47Come on, baby.
00:28:50Oh, please.
00:28:54So, that's it?
00:28:55He threw out his back?
00:28:57Oh, thank God.
00:28:59I'm guessing he passed out from the pain.
00:29:01Hmm.
00:29:01But I want to be clear.
00:29:02A ruptured disc is very serious.
00:29:04He'll need surgery.
00:29:05It'll be a while before he's back on his feet.
00:29:07How much of a while?
00:29:09Three months.
00:29:10Three months?
00:29:11Even then, he'll need to go easy.
00:29:14What sort of work does he do?
00:29:16We run a restaurant.
00:29:17He shouldn't go back for four or five months.
00:29:20Restaurant work is very stressful.
00:29:23Yeah, it is.
00:29:33What's that?
00:29:34No, it's the prenup my parents want you to sign.
00:29:38And you brought it to bed?
00:29:39Okay.
00:29:41Okay.
00:29:42Romance tip number one.
00:29:44Sorry, I just can't get that off my mind.
00:29:46I keep thinking, why all this ungodly fuss?
00:29:48Susan's not in this for money and heirlooms.
00:29:51I don't want your family's stuff.
00:29:52What am I going to do with half a castle?
00:29:54Exactly.
00:29:55So why not just sign it?
00:29:58Huh?
00:29:59I mean, looking at it rationally, what's the difference between making the promise you just made to me and making the same promise on paper?
00:30:04Um, well, the difference is huge.
00:30:11I mean, one way you're trusting me and the other way you're trying to make it official.
00:30:17Well, isn't that what marriage is, making your love official?
00:30:20Ian, do you really want to start our life together making me feel like I'm on probation?
00:30:27You know that I trust you.
00:30:29This isn't about my fears.
00:30:31It's about my parents.
00:30:33Really?
00:30:33I think it's about someone else.
00:30:38He just wanted me to help him remember something.
00:30:42Who?
00:30:43Mike.
00:30:44I saw you watching us.
00:30:46We were just talking.
00:30:48I never thought anything else.
00:30:55Okay, I'll sign it.
00:30:57What about?
00:30:59At least read it first.
00:31:00I don't need to.
00:31:02I trust you.
00:31:03Oh, hi, Mike.
00:31:14So, tell me.
00:31:15I've been dying to know.
00:31:16Did you talk to Susan?
00:31:17Could she remember what the movie was?
00:31:20Actually, no.
00:31:23Oh, well, hang in there.
00:31:24We'll figure it out.
00:31:25It's just a matter of time before everything starts coming back.
00:31:27Here, have a seat.
00:31:28Uh, listen, you've been really helpful the last few months,
00:31:32but I think I'm done here.
00:31:35Mike, I know this can be a frustrating process,
00:31:39but if you give up now,
00:31:40there are so many memories that could be lost to you.
00:31:43Yeah, I'm okay with that.
00:31:53Oh, my God.
00:31:54How many did you take?
00:31:55Sorry, I wanted options.
00:31:58Stop judging me.
00:32:00I was hopped up on couture.
00:32:01You know, it's not funny.
00:32:02Samantha called her lawyer.
00:32:04What?
00:32:04Over a dress?
00:32:06God, what a bitch.
00:32:07Hey, don't call her that.
00:32:09She threatened me with mace and then slugged you.
00:32:12Now you're on her side?
00:32:13Gabby, I didn't marry an angry woman.
00:32:14I just divorced one.
00:32:16What happened?
00:32:16Did you have some little mistress on the side?
00:32:18Worse.
00:32:20I treated her like she was the mistress.
00:32:22I set her up in a nice house.
00:32:23I gave her an allowance.
00:32:26And then I came and went as I pleased.
00:32:27She was always there when I needed her,
00:32:32but if she needed me, well.
00:32:37And if she wasn't happy,
00:32:38she could always go and buy a nice new dress.
00:32:43You saw the closet,
00:32:44so you know just how happy she was.
00:32:50What?
00:32:55I've known you for two weeks,
00:32:56and this is the first glimpse
00:32:58of a guy I could actually like.
00:33:01A clueless, emotionally stunted workaholic?
00:33:04A guy who can admit he's screwed up.
00:33:06One who's not trying to impress me
00:33:08every second of the day
00:33:08with how perfect and charming he is.
00:33:11Wouldn't mind seeing more of that guy.
00:33:14Well, his schedule's wide open.
00:33:16How about dinner tomorrow night?
00:33:18I'd love to.
00:33:20Although, what am I going to wear now?
00:33:25Doesn't matter.
00:33:27So I'm just going to talk you out of it.
00:33:30Look who's back.
00:33:31Mr. Cuckey.
00:33:32He never leaves for long, does he, that guy?
00:33:45Are there any points you'd like to discuss
00:33:48before you sign?
00:33:48I'd like you to say,
00:33:50we don't need this, we trust you.
00:33:54But you don't, so I'll sign it.
00:33:57And once I do,
00:33:58I am going to earn your trust
00:34:00by being a good wife to Ian.
00:34:02Oh, we're sure you will be.
00:34:04Sign all three copies, please.
00:34:10I mean it.
00:34:11I'm going to be loving and faithful
00:34:13and above all, honest.
00:34:15There'll be no secrets with Ian.
00:34:21I'll tell him everything.
00:34:24Well, we applaud Orkana.
00:34:26What I'm trying to say is
00:34:27there'll be no topic that I need to skirt.
00:34:31No issue that I won't address.
00:34:40I won't conceal my true thoughts
00:34:42under garments of secrecy.
00:34:45Good for you.
00:34:48Now, if you'll just sign.
00:34:49For God's sake, Dahlia,
00:34:50anyone can see she's not a fortune hunter.
00:34:52What are you doing?
00:34:53She is willing to sign.
00:34:54Which proves she can be trusted.
00:35:00I'm sure you'll be a good wife to Ian.
00:35:04You can count on it.
00:35:15Thanks for the flowers.
00:35:30You're welcome.
00:35:33You know, about Travers.
00:35:36You can see him if you want.
00:35:38He misses you.
00:35:40I miss him too.
00:35:41Oh, and just so you know,
00:35:42he's at a sleepover.
00:35:42So I didn't leave him alone
00:35:45with a six-pack and some matches.
00:35:48Look, Edie, um...
00:35:51What I said about you the other day was...
00:35:52Dead on.
00:35:54You nailed me, Carlos.
00:35:56Maybe not the way that I wanted you to,
00:35:58but still...
00:35:59But I had no right to judge you.
00:36:02Besides, the guys, the clothes, the partying.
00:36:05That's you.
00:36:06I mean, that's the Edie that we love.
00:36:08Well, I'm glad you love her
00:36:09because I'm getting pretty tired of her.
00:36:11Come on.
00:36:12I'm a 40-year-old party girl.
00:36:14Do you think that I don't know
00:36:15that my days are numbered?
00:36:18I don't know what you want me to say here.
00:36:21Don't say anything.
00:36:22Just stop seeing the person that I've been
00:36:26and start seeing the person I could be.
00:36:30Look at me.
00:36:32Not the Edie that I show the world.
00:36:34In fact, let's lose her.
00:36:43Forget the blouse that she wears
00:36:45because she knows it shows off her cleavage.
00:36:49Uh, Edie, what are you doing?
00:36:53And the skirt that's so short
00:36:56because she knows that guys love long legs.
00:37:01And the heels.
00:37:04Ones that make her legs look even longer.
00:37:06Edie, please.
00:37:08Forget the bra
00:37:09that holds her breasts a little higher
00:37:11than they are on their own these days.
00:37:12And the panties.
00:37:22The ones that hide the scar
00:37:24from my C-section.
00:37:26This is it.
00:37:39Hi, Carlos.
00:37:41I'm Edie.
00:37:45I might not be the woman
00:37:46that you thought I was under all of that.
00:37:50But I'm real.
00:37:53And I'm here.
00:37:56And I'm asking for a chance.
00:38:17Hey, Andrew.
00:38:19Aw, thanks.
00:38:20He's gonna be okay.
00:38:22No.
00:38:23No, absolutely not.
00:38:24We will open tonight as usual.
00:38:27Hey, it's gonna be fine, Andrew.
00:38:29I will take care of it.
00:38:32It's my job now.
00:38:34Mm-hmm.
00:38:35Okay.
00:38:36See you soon.
00:38:37Bye.
00:38:37Bye.
00:38:41In every housewife's closet,
00:38:44there's an article of clothing
00:38:45that tells you more about its owner
00:38:47than she would want you to know.
00:38:49It might be a shirt that she despises,
00:38:51it might be a shirt that she despises,
00:38:53but wears without complaint.
00:38:57Perhaps it's some lingerie she knows isn't hers,
00:39:01but refuses to discuss.
00:39:06Or a dress she once loved,
00:39:09that she can no longer bear to look at.
00:39:12Yes, you can learn a lot about women
00:39:18from what they choose to wear.
00:39:22You can learn even more
00:39:24by what they choose to take off
00:39:26and who they take it off for.
00:39:30Previously on Desperate Housewives,
00:39:39Mike's therapy hit a snag.
00:39:40I keep telling you, I don't remember.
00:39:42Something happened at that movie.
00:39:43Who did you see it with?
00:39:44Probably Susan.
00:39:45Why not ask her about it?
00:39:46Mike, it wasn't a movie, that was us.
00:39:48What?
00:39:48That was the first night that we spent together.
00:39:51I saw you watching us.
00:39:52We were just talking.
00:39:54Gabby saw another side of Victor.
00:39:56I didn't marry an angry woman,
00:39:57I just divorced one.
00:39:58I set her up in a nice house,
00:39:59I gave her an allowance,
00:40:00and then I came and went as I pleased.
00:40:01I've known you for two weeks.
00:40:03This is the first glimpse
00:40:04of a guy I could actually like.
00:40:05Tom's back put him out of commission.
00:40:08It'll be a while before he's back on his feet.
00:40:09How much of a while?
00:40:10Three months.
00:40:11And Edie bared more than her soul for Carlos.
00:40:14I'm here, and I'm asking for a chance.
00:40:22Edie Britt had always thought of herself
00:40:24as passionate,
00:40:26aggressively,
00:40:27relentlessly,
00:40:29violently,
00:40:30violently passionate.
00:40:33Carlos Solis had always thought of himself
00:40:36as passionate,
00:40:36romantically,
00:40:38spontaneously,
00:40:39constantly passionate.
00:40:43So, it was natural for Edie and Carlos
00:40:47to assume that if they ever had sex,
00:40:50it would be amazing.
00:40:52And in fact,
00:40:53it was.
00:40:56Amazingly,
00:40:57bad.
00:40:59Morning.
00:40:59Morning.
00:41:02So,
00:41:03last night.
00:41:05Yeah,
00:41:05I know.
00:41:07Wow.
00:41:09Super wow.
00:41:10Is that clock right?
00:41:17Oh, man,
00:41:17I gotta get to work.
00:41:18Yeah,
00:41:19I gotta get home.
00:41:22So,
00:41:22I wish you'd do this again.
00:41:25Oh,
00:41:25definitely.
00:41:26This week
00:41:28doesn't seem to be that great.
00:41:29maybe next week I'm swamped.
00:41:31Oh.
00:41:32I'll figure something out.
00:41:34It was at that moment
00:41:36Edie and Carlos
00:41:37had the exact same thought.
00:41:39Um,
00:41:40thank you.
00:41:43No,
00:41:44thank you.
00:41:47They would definitely
00:41:48be having sex again.
00:41:50Just not
00:41:51with each other.
00:41:53I'll see you next week.
00:42:23It's so easy to spot the lonely ones.
00:42:40They're the people who tell stories to their plants.
00:42:44And whisper secrets to their pets.
00:42:48And have arguments with their TV.
00:42:53And the loneliest of all are the ones who talk to people.
00:42:57You know what I think, Gilbert.
00:42:59People who are no longer there.
00:43:01Phone's gonna ring any second.
00:43:03It's gonna be Lynette begging me to come over early.
00:43:07Did I tell you that Tom had surgery on his back last week?
00:43:11Yep.
00:43:12That idiot's flat on his ass while Lynette brings home the bacon again.
00:43:16I shouldn't judge.
00:43:18Plenty of people didn't get what I saw in you.
00:43:20Won't name names.
00:43:21My sister Gail.
00:43:24They always told her that he's all the name calling and the dish throwing.
00:43:30We really loved each other.
00:43:33Bet you're 50 bucks or something like that.
00:43:36Hello?
00:43:38You lose, Gilbert.
00:43:40What's up?
00:43:40I have to get to the restaurant early.
00:43:42Is there any way you could come over and get the kids off to school?
00:43:45Hey, why am I seeing pajamas get dressed?
00:43:46Yeah, they are ready to go.
00:43:48So, what do you say?
00:43:50Oh, great.
00:43:51Thanks.
00:43:52I owe you big time.
00:43:53Okay, bye.
00:43:54All right.
00:43:55I am heading out of here.
00:43:56Wish me luck.
00:43:57More interviews this morning?
00:43:58Yeah.
00:43:58But don't worry.
00:43:59I am gonna find you the assistant manager of your dreams.
00:44:02Are you sure?
00:44:03Because the last ten resumes you showed me.
00:44:05Yeah, I know.
00:44:06I know.
00:44:06Bottom of the barrel.
00:44:07Convicts and losers.
00:44:08You were clear about that last night.
00:44:09And make sure that they really know how to wrangle the employees.
00:44:12Like Kim.
00:44:12She never buses her tables.
00:44:14I'm the one that told you that.
00:44:15Oh, you're right.
00:44:17Hey, honey.
00:44:17I had an idea about the specials for today.
00:44:19I was thinking goat cheese and mushrooms.
00:44:22Oh, for God's sake, Tom.
00:44:27I'm gonna be late for the interviews.
00:44:29I really should go.
00:44:30Honey, I'm sorry.
00:44:31I'm sorry.
00:44:31I know I am driving you crazy.
00:44:33It's just that I'm feeling so guilty laying here totally worthless while you run the restaurant
00:44:37and the house.
00:44:38It's okay.
00:44:39I am gonna find a way to make this all work and you just get better.
00:44:43Oh, this is McCleskey perfect timing.
00:44:46Hey, make sure you have your cell phone with you.
00:44:49Then, while you're interviewing, I'll call.
00:44:51You can conference me in.
00:44:54That is a great idea.
00:44:58Hi.
00:44:59At some point, Tom's gonna ask you to look for this.
00:45:01You will not find it.
00:45:04Love you.
00:45:09Here's your beer.
00:45:10Oh, good job, Chipmunk.
00:45:12No phone this time.
00:45:14I tipped the glass just like you told me to.
00:45:16I think someone's ready to salt his first margarita glass.
00:45:19Mommy, do you have trouble going to sleep?
00:45:26No.
00:45:27Why'd you ask?
00:45:29Because I heard Carlos say you were bad in bed.
00:45:32What?
00:45:33Why'd he say that?
00:45:34Do you have nightmares?
00:45:36Okay, sweetie.
00:45:37I need you to focus.
00:45:38What exactly did Carlos say and who did he say it to?
00:45:42I went to get my soccer ball from his yard.
00:45:44He was on the phone talking to someone.
00:45:46So, what does bad in bed mean?
00:45:50Well, it means that you're not good at making your bed.
00:45:57And Mommy doesn't like people saying she can't make a bed because, trust me, nobody makes a bed as good as your Mommy.
00:46:06If you want.
00:46:07I can tell people you're good in bed.
00:46:10No, no, no.
00:46:12That's fine, sweetie.
00:46:13If you want to help Mommy, just top off her breakfast.
00:46:18Susan, I'm, uh, by the orange stand.
00:46:28Where are you?
00:46:29The cheese stand?
00:46:31No, I don't mind you going back for free samples.
00:46:33But if you like it so much, why not just buy some?
00:46:37Yeah, of course, you're right.
00:46:38It always tastes better when it's free.
00:46:41Okay, then, please hurry.
00:46:42Oh, hello.
00:46:47Hey.
00:46:49Boy, you're everywhere these days.
00:46:52Excuse me?
00:46:53Well, yesterday, Susan and I ran into the post office last week, the movies.
00:46:57One might think you're following us.
00:46:58Trust me, one has better things to do than follow you around.
00:47:03And yet, here you are.
00:47:06Again.
00:47:08Ian Fairview is a small town.
00:47:11You want distance?
00:47:12Move to the city.
00:47:21You've been awfully quiet since we left the market.
00:47:23Is everything okay?
00:47:25Um, well, since you asked, I'm having some problems at work.
00:47:29Really?
00:47:30Yes, we're in the midst of some corporate restructuring.
00:47:34I'm going to have to spend more time in London.
00:47:38Oh.
00:47:40Okay.
00:47:41And I was thinking, maybe you and I should just, uh, relocate.
00:47:48To London?
00:47:50Permanently?
00:47:51I know it's sudden, but...
00:47:52Yeah, it's sudden.
00:47:53My whole life is here.
00:47:55My friends, you know, Julie is still in school.
00:47:57Susan!
00:47:57Oh, my God.
00:48:03Oh, my God.
00:48:16Are you okay?
00:48:18I'm fine.
00:48:18I'm fine.
00:48:19I'm fine.
00:48:20Okay.
00:48:21I can feel the car sinking.
00:48:22We're going to have to get to shore.
00:48:28Ian?
00:48:29How deep do you think this water is?
00:48:33Deep enough?
00:48:34Come on, let's move.
00:48:37Susan.
00:48:39I can't swim.
00:48:40What?
00:48:42You said you played water polo.
00:48:45I said polo with horses.
00:48:47How can you not know how to swim?
00:48:49Didn't you go to summer camp?
00:48:50I stayed in the canoe.
00:48:51Let it go.
00:48:53Okay.
00:48:54Don't panic.
00:48:55Just grab onto my neck and I'll swim for the both of us.
00:48:58Twice your size.
00:48:59We might drown.
00:49:00Let's just stay here and think of something else.
00:49:03If you stay here, you'll definitely drown.
00:49:05You see how my plan is better?
00:49:14Oh, look.
00:49:15There's somebody on the shore.
00:49:18It's Mike.
00:49:19He's here.
00:49:21Of course he is.
00:49:22Mike!
00:49:30Okay, okay, okay, I can move from here.
00:49:39Sorry, you were just gripping me so tight.
00:49:44Oh, my God.
00:49:46Mike, you saved our lives.
00:49:49And our cheese.
00:49:52Ian, can you believe it?
00:49:54Mike saved our cheese.
00:49:56Yes, he's quite a hero.
00:49:58Yeah.
00:49:59Good thing I was following you.
00:50:06Arnie, thanks for coming in.
00:50:08We will definitely keep you in mind.
00:50:11Okay.
00:50:13Okay.
00:50:15Come on.
00:50:16What was wrong with that guy?
00:50:18He kept asking what we do with the food people don't eat.
00:50:21All right, so he's a fat loser.
00:50:23Who would you expect to get for $8.50 an hour?
00:50:25Well, that's what we pay you, and you seem happy enough.
00:50:27Well, that's because I'm doing the beer delivery guy.
00:50:30Oh, okay.
00:50:32My fault for asking.
00:50:35Uh, Rick Coletti?
00:50:38That's me.
00:50:39Oh, great.
00:50:40Come on over.
00:50:41Um, your application?
00:50:44One second.
00:50:45It's been bothering me.
00:50:50Sorry.
00:50:51No, it's great.
00:50:52You can spell.
00:50:53You are now officially the frontrunner.
00:50:54Yeah, my, uh, grandma came over from Naples.
00:50:57I've been making calzonas since before you were born.
00:51:00How old do you think I am?
00:51:0330, 31.
00:51:04Hmm.
00:51:05Not afraid to shamelessly ask us.
00:51:07You are doing very well.
00:51:08Great.
00:51:09You want to skip ahead to the part where you hire me?
00:51:11Well, I should probably take a look at your application first.
00:51:15Okay.
00:51:17Okay.
00:51:17Don't be afraid if you don't have a ton of experience.
00:51:19I realize for what we're paying, we're not exactly going to get a...
00:51:22Whoa.
00:51:24You were a sous chef at Cucina?
00:51:26Yeah.
00:51:27That's a five-star restaurant.
00:51:28Actually, four.
00:51:30Which is four more than we have.
00:51:31Yeah, but this place has character and charm and a beautiful owner.
00:51:38Um, yeah, but seriously, why would a four-star chef want a slum at a pizza joint?
00:51:45Mrs. McCluskey?
00:51:47Mrs. McCluskey?
00:51:49I'm right here.
00:51:50Keep your shirt on.
00:51:51I need another pill.
00:51:53And please tell the kids to turn down the TV.
00:51:57I yell, they turn it down.
00:51:58I walk away, they turn it up.
00:51:59Vicious circle.
00:52:00Surely you can control five little kids.
00:52:03Can I beat them?
00:52:04No.
00:52:05Then my hands are tied.
00:52:08Hi, I'm home, and I got good news.
00:52:11I found a new manager.
00:52:12That's terrific.
00:52:13Yeah, his name is Rick Coletti, and he was a sous chef at Cucina.
00:52:18Cucina, why does he want to work at our place?
00:52:20Yeah, I had that exact same thought, and to be honest, he has a history.
00:52:24History?
00:52:25You know how stressful it is working at a four-star restaurant,
00:52:27and he, like many chefs, started using cocaine just to stay at him.
00:52:30Oh, no, no, no, no way.
00:52:32Well, he's been clean for almost a year.
00:52:33We're not at the Betty Ford Clinic.
00:52:35No, I know, but I've got a really good feeling about this guy,
00:52:37and all he wants is a fresh start.
00:52:38I am not going to hire a junkie who's going to turn around
00:52:41and then hock our jukebox just to feed his habit.
00:52:44Here, find somebody else.
00:52:45I can't find somebody else.
00:52:46I've interviewed 50 guys,
00:52:48and this junkie happens to be the best of the bunch.
00:52:50Seriously, Dom, I don't know how much longer I...
00:52:52Lynette, please, can we just talk about this later?
00:52:54I'm in a lot of pain right now.
00:52:57I'm sorry.
00:52:59Please, just do what I am asking.
00:53:03Fine.
00:53:04I'll, uh, keep looking.
00:53:09Sure, come on.
00:53:13I had such a good time tonight.
00:53:14Who knew you could dance?
00:53:15It's one of my many hidden talents.
00:53:17Tell you what, you invite me in for a drink,
00:53:18I'll show you another one.
00:53:19Not tonight, thanks.
00:53:21So you would tangle with a man and then not have sex with him?
00:53:23You know, that's actually against the law in Argentina.
00:53:26Come on.
00:53:27We both know what's going to happen eventually.
00:53:28And every time you say that,
00:53:30eventually it gets a little further away.
00:53:32Stop begging or I'm not going to your rally
00:53:34tomorrow.
00:53:35Okay, fine.
00:53:35I can be patient.
00:53:36As far as I'm concerned,
00:53:37the chase is half the fun.
00:53:39Half the fun?
00:53:40Oh, honey, if I ever do say yes,
00:53:48you're going to adjust that percentage way down.
00:53:51You can't possibly be eating more cheese.
00:54:05What?
00:54:05I've never heard of a midnight snack.
00:54:08Unless you can think of something else
00:54:10that I can nibble on.
00:54:11Oh, slide over, you cheddar-breath tees.
00:54:24What's that?
00:54:25Oh, it's a thank you gift for Mike.
00:54:28Oh, okay.
00:54:30Correct me if I'm wrong,
00:54:31but didn't we already thank him at the shore
00:54:33and again when he dropped us off at home?
00:54:35Well, I don't think you can really thank somebody
00:54:37too many times for saving your life.
00:54:39Oh, I wish he'd stopped saying that.
00:54:41Say what?
00:54:41That he saved my life.
00:54:43I'm fairly certain I could survive without his help.
00:54:45And if anyone did any life-saving,
00:54:46it was me.
00:54:47You?
00:54:47Yes.
00:54:48If I hadn't warned you about the deer,
00:54:50it would have gone straight through the windshield
00:54:51and you would have ended up with an antler
00:54:52through your brain.
00:54:54Oh.
00:54:56Um, okay.
00:54:59That's a good point.
00:55:01But we were in a bit of a jam there
00:55:03and I don't think you should be embarrassed
00:55:06for needing a little help.
00:55:08I'm not embarrassed.
00:55:09I don't feel emasculated either.
00:55:11Emasculated?
00:55:12Who said emasculated?
00:55:13And why are you not kissing me now?
00:55:15I'm ready when you are.
00:55:18Mm-hmm.
00:55:26Oh.
00:55:27Okay.
00:55:30Oh, I guess we're gonna cut right to the...
00:55:32Whoa.
00:55:33Wow.
00:55:33Fuck.
00:55:36Oh.
00:55:45Don't worry.
00:55:50It happens to everybody.
00:55:53Maybe it would help to talk about it.
00:55:55No.
00:55:56I don't want to talk about it.
00:55:59All right.
00:56:00We won't talk about it.
00:56:07Want some cheese?
00:56:09Hey, how are you?
00:56:18I'm good.
00:56:20You might not think so, but...
00:56:22I am good.
00:56:24Huh?
00:56:26Where in the hell do you get off telling people
00:56:28that I am bad in bed?
00:56:30I never said that.
00:56:31Travers heard you on the phone.
00:56:33Okay, I'm sorry.
00:56:34I was talking to my cousin in Tucson
00:56:36and we always trade bad date stories.
00:56:38Oh.
00:56:39Oh.
00:56:39And to think that I went out of my way
00:56:42to spare your feelings?
00:56:44What's that supposed to mean?
00:56:45You think you were bored?
00:56:46I've had more thrills leaning up against my dryer.
00:56:49Then what was all that moaning?
00:56:51I was in pain.
00:56:52You were smashing my breasts.
00:56:54Oh, come on.
00:56:55You hunkered down on top of me
00:56:56like you were hiding from the border patrol.
00:56:58I was tired.
00:56:59You just laid there while I did all the work.
00:57:01When we were done, I felt like I should deflate you.
00:57:03Yeah, well, sex is like tennis.
00:57:05When you play an inferior opponent,
00:57:07your game suffers.
00:57:08Are you challenging me to a rematch?
00:57:15Maybe.
00:57:16So you want to do it again?
00:57:18If it'll shut you up.
00:57:21Yeah.
00:57:23I'll fall on that grenade.
00:57:26Oh, there's going to be an explosion.
00:57:27Come on.
00:57:28I'm prescribing a mild painkiller for your back,
00:57:43and I will see you in a week to remove those stitches.
00:57:46Great.
00:57:47So, how'd you folks get so banged up?
00:57:50Car accident?
00:57:52Bad sex.
00:57:53Really bad.
00:57:59Okay.
00:58:01Thanks.
00:58:06God, what a disaster.
00:58:08Oh, I don't know.
00:58:09Maybe it's for the best.
00:58:11How so?
00:58:12Well, we got it out of our system.
00:58:14Now we can go back to being friends.
00:58:15I mean, we like hanging out,
00:58:18and Travers adores you.
00:58:20Yeah, and I wouldn't want to ruin that.
00:58:21Still, it doesn't make any sense.
00:58:24Oh, I know.
00:58:26I'm hot.
00:58:27You're hot.
00:58:28On paper, we should be having great sex.
00:58:32Well, we could always try again.
00:58:36Yeah, me neither.
00:58:39Yes, this town is hungry for change.
00:58:43When Gabrielle agreed to attend Victor Lange's campaign rally,
00:58:48she was fully prepared to be bored.
00:58:51I give you the next mayor of Fairview, Victor Lange.
00:58:56But when Victor took the stage,
00:58:59Gabrielle found herself strangely enthralled.
00:59:02Perhaps it was the cheers that greeted his arrival.
00:59:08Perhaps it was the confidence he exuded.
00:59:13Or perhaps it was the effect he had on the citizens of Fairview.
00:59:18Whatever the reason, Gabby decided,
00:59:22not only did Victor Lange have her vote,
00:59:24it was time to make a campaign contribution.
00:59:31Sorry.
00:59:32Excuse me.
00:59:33Excuse me.
00:59:34Sure.
00:59:34Excuse me.
00:59:35Sorry.
00:59:36Um, I'm afraid Mr. Lange has to take an important meeting
00:59:40in his limo.
00:59:41Now.
00:59:46Radio station, Clyde.
00:59:49What's all this about?
00:59:50Uh, your speech.
00:59:51I liked it.
00:59:55Seriously.
00:59:57Here?
00:59:58Now?
00:59:59Well, you laid out all your positions.
01:00:02Don't you want to get acquainted with mine?
01:00:07Clyde, could you put up the partition, please?
01:00:09Yes, sir.
01:00:10Anything else?
01:00:11Music.
01:00:12Loud music.
01:00:15Good love.
01:00:17But you've got to have love.
01:00:18Love it.
01:00:19Hey, now you've got to have love.
01:00:21Mrs. McCluskey, it has been ten minutes.
01:00:28Where's my pie?
01:00:31I'm unloading the dishwasher.
01:00:33You get your damn pie when I'm done.
01:00:36Mrs. McCluskey?
01:00:41I want my pie now.
01:00:43Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:00:47You heard me.
01:00:48Your being here is in charity.
01:00:49We pay you good money to help us.
01:00:51So when I ask you to do something, I want it done.
01:00:57Well, here's a surprise for you.
01:01:00I quit.
01:01:01What?
01:01:02What?
01:01:02Why?
01:01:03Why?
01:01:03What happened?
01:01:04Five kids are tough enough, but your husband makes six, and that's where I draw the line.
01:01:08Oh, okay.
01:01:09I know that Tom has been a little cranky lately.
01:01:11No, I'm cranky.
01:01:12He's insufferable.
01:01:13I hate to admit this, Lynette, but every time that man screams out in pain, I do it with a jig inside.
01:01:18Look, I'll talk to Tom.
01:01:20No, the line's made up.
01:01:20Wait, wait, wait.
01:01:21Please don't do this, please.
01:01:22I'm at the end of my rope.
01:01:24I wish I could help you, Lynette.
01:01:25I can see that you're going down, but I'm just too old to get dragged down with you.
01:01:29Okay, everybody, go on up to bed.
01:01:43You got the baby.
01:01:45Yeah, that's exactly right.
01:01:47You know what to do.
01:01:50Before you speak, just know that ever since McCloskey left, I've been lying here feeling like the biggest jerk ever.
01:01:57Tomorrow morning, I am going to call her and apologize.
01:02:02I will fix this.
01:02:06Well, you might also want to apologize to the customer who found a Lego in her pizza.
01:02:13Oh, God.
01:02:14Did the kids do that?
01:02:15I hope.
01:02:17Oh, God.
01:02:19It was so awful tonight.
01:02:22Hurry.
01:02:23You know what you need.
01:02:26What?
01:02:26A scene, too.
01:02:32Once the kids are asleep, slip on that sexy blue thing and then sneak back down here.
01:02:40You want to have sex?
01:02:42But you're immobile.
01:02:43Okay, maybe full-on sex is a little ambitious, but there's other stuff that we could do.
01:02:52But you can't bend at the waist, and that pretty much leaves the heavy lifting to me.
01:02:58Trust me, if you get us to the finish line, I will cross it.
01:03:04Ew.
01:03:05Is that why you apologized?
01:03:07Just so I'd service you?
01:03:09Honey, I've been trapped in this bed all day long.
01:03:11I'm bored.
01:03:12I'm miserable.
01:03:13Can't you do this one little thing for me?
01:03:15I have been doing everything I can to keep our heads above water.
01:03:21I can't do you, too.
01:03:22I have been doing everything I can to keep our heads above water.
01:03:25I can't do it.
01:03:26I can't do it.
01:03:27I can't do it.
01:03:28I can't do it.
01:03:29I can't do it.
01:03:30The best part of having sex with a new man was seeing how quickly his affection would
01:03:35turn to obsession.
01:03:36No messages.
01:03:38But when Victor failed to call the next morning,
01:03:41No messages.
01:03:44Or the next afternoon,
01:03:47No messages.
01:03:49It was Gabrielle who began obsessing.
01:03:53Not a peep.
01:03:5424 hours.
01:03:55Well, he's busy.
01:03:56Isn't he debating the mayor tonight?
01:03:57I don't care.
01:03:58He can find two lousy minutes for me.
01:03:59I'm here.
01:04:00Deal me.
01:04:01I'm sorry.
01:04:02No poker today.
01:04:03Lynette had to work.
01:04:04Want a margarita?
01:04:05Oh, I'd like three, but I'll start with one.
01:04:08Miss Elise?
01:04:09Sorry to interrupt.
01:04:10Do you have any water?
01:04:11Yeah.
01:04:12In the fridge.
01:04:19Poo is that.
01:04:20And why don't you put your water on that lower shelf?
01:04:26That's Toby.
01:04:27He's fixing my closet.
01:04:28Has your cocky boyfriend gotten a load of the help?
01:04:31Move away from that topic.
01:04:32We had sex yesterday in his limo.
01:04:34Oh, I love limo sex.
01:04:36Town car or stretch?
01:04:37Well, stretch, of course.
01:04:38I'm not a complete slut.
01:04:39Hmm.
01:04:40Point is, he hasn't called since.
01:04:42Oh.
01:04:43So, how was the sex?
01:04:45Fantastic.
01:04:46As good as with Carlos.
01:04:47Hmm.
01:04:48That good, huh?
01:04:49Such an idiot.
01:04:50I gave it up way too fast.
01:04:51Now I've lost all the power.
01:04:52Oh, come on.
01:04:53No, I'm serious.
01:04:54Our mothers had the right idea.
01:04:55They let men think they were the only ones who needed sex, and women just went along as
01:04:58a favor.
01:04:59Men begged for every crumb and we never lost the upper hand.
01:05:00Yeah, no guy respects an easy conquest.
01:05:01I make all my men wait.
01:05:02It's true.
01:05:03She has a little room with magazines and an aquarium.
01:05:04I have so missed our friendship.
01:05:05Hmm.
01:05:06I think if you really like this guy, you should just be honest.
01:05:09You should tell him that you feel a little hurt.
01:05:10Oh, yeah.
01:05:11Whining is really going to bring him to his knees.
01:05:12You want to get this guy back in line?
01:05:13You hit him hard, you hit him fast.
01:05:14Is he the jealous type?
01:05:15No.
01:05:16No.
01:05:17No.
01:05:18No.
01:05:19No.
01:05:20No.
01:05:21No.
01:05:22No.
01:05:23No.
01:05:24No.
01:05:25No.
01:05:26No.
01:05:27No.
01:05:28No.
01:05:29No.
01:05:30No.
01:05:31No.
01:05:32No.
01:05:33No.
01:05:34No.
01:05:35No.
01:05:36No.
01:05:37No.
01:05:38No.
01:05:39No.
01:05:40No.
01:05:41No.
01:05:42No.
01:05:43No.
01:05:44No.
01:05:45No.
01:05:46No.
01:05:47No.
01:05:48No.
01:05:49No.
01:05:50No.
01:05:51No.
01:05:52No.
01:05:53No.
01:05:54No.
01:05:55No.
01:05:56No.
01:05:57No.
01:05:58No.
01:05:59No.
01:06:00No.
01:06:01No.
01:06:02No.
01:06:03fine okay thank you very much gentlemen so let's move on to our next subject you both have said
01:06:13our citizens pay too much in taxes how would you attract new businesses to boost the city's tax
01:06:18base mr. lang uh mr. lang i'm sorry would you uh uh repeat the question please how would you bring
01:06:30new business to fervia i would uh offer tax exemptions to uh first-year startups and that
01:06:39will increase our tax base no of course not not at first but when conjoined with
01:06:46my opponent seems a bit overtaxed
01:06:53gentlemen there's been much talk lately regarding our local schools
01:07:02what would you do to improve public education mr. lang
01:07:07there you go sorry for the wait miss please i will be right there
01:07:17oh my god mrs scabo i am so sorry don't cry just clean this if you could just i swear i will be
01:07:25there in one second
01:07:26let me guess it's a bad time oh my god rick i never got back to you i am so sorry that's okay
01:07:35i didn't mind waiting so long as it's good news for me now look i think you're great and we would
01:07:42be lucky to have you it's just my husband isn't really comfortable with the next drug addict in his
01:07:48kitchen you can drug test me every week anything you want just i really need this job
01:07:56miss
01:07:59could you excuse me a second i'm sorry i'm sorry what's up i hate my calzone
01:08:06oh what's wrong with it it's just not good and i want a new one all right all right i will put your
01:08:11order in but the kitchen's a little backed up not my problem you gave me a sucky calzone
01:08:16i don't care if you have to get back there and make it yourself
01:08:19i can't do this
01:08:28it's just
01:08:31what is this
01:08:43i'll make you do calzone sir uh fresh basil garlic you like sun-dried tomatoes yeah sounds good
01:08:51hey is she all right yeah it's her grandma's calzone recipe she takes criticism very personally
01:08:59fresh some dough for calzone for me and uh i just want to chop some basil
01:09:05yeah okay uh who are you i'm rick you you work here now
01:09:12looks like i do
01:09:19oh is that new
01:09:28i just bought it but if you don't like it feel free to rip it off me
01:09:32actually i have this book proposal to discuss in an 8 a.m meeting so i i can't really
01:09:38well that's okay gotta work you gotta work
01:09:41so um i was thinking about london
01:09:47oh yeah julie's gonna be applying to college as soon and uh a year abroad could give her a real boost
01:09:57so let's do it
01:10:00are you serious
01:10:02yes
01:10:03i want to spend time in your world
01:10:06i want to play cricket and i want to eat crumpets and i want to use the word ghostly
01:10:11god susan you have no idea how excited this makes me feel
01:10:17oh my thigh is getting an ootley
01:10:20we'll call a realtor first thing in the morning and put our houses on the market
01:10:24not mine okay that way we can use it when we visit
01:10:26that's what hotels are for darling
01:10:28i want to sell my house everybody i love is on this street
01:10:31um what happened i was feeling tired
01:10:38you weren't tired a second ago
01:10:41i'm not in the mood all right
01:10:43why not
01:10:45you know i'm not used to being grilled about my sex drive
01:10:48well i'm not used to guys bailing on me in the middle of foreplay
01:10:52and by guys of course you mean mike
01:10:54what
01:10:55well i'm sure good old mike was ready and able 24 7
01:10:58you're not actually
01:11:00oh okay um that's it
01:11:05i've had it
01:11:07susan
01:11:08really i can't have this conversation one more time
01:11:11i've done nothing but prove my love to you for the last year and you cannot shut up about mike
01:11:16i don't trust the man
01:11:18well you don't have to trust mike you have to trust me and you don't
01:11:21that's what going to england's about isn't it
01:11:25you're just trying to get me away from mike
01:11:27well you know what screw it i'm not going
01:11:30and if you ever bring up his name again we're over
01:11:32got it over
01:11:33hi
01:11:40this is from me and ian
01:12:00an electric juicer
01:12:04yeah well you know you try to think of a more appropriate thank you for saving my life gift
01:12:11oh
01:12:12this works fine for me
01:12:17good
01:12:18i should go
01:12:26you okay
01:12:29yeah
01:12:32i'm good
01:12:34you sure about that
01:12:37yeah
01:12:39yeah it's just um
01:12:43and i'll see you in a little
01:12:58i'm good
01:13:02and i'll see you in a little
01:13:04and i'll see you in a little
01:13:07Hi.
01:13:15Hi.
01:13:17Ian, about what I said...
01:13:23You were right.
01:13:25You've never given me reason to doubt you.
01:13:28I'm an insecure idiot.
01:13:31I don't deserve you, Susan.
01:13:34But if you'll please keep pretending that I do,
01:13:37I swear I will not utter a single jealous word
01:13:40for the rest of our lives together.
01:13:43It's Victor.
01:13:45What the hell were you thinking?
01:13:47That little stunt of yours almost cost me the debate.
01:13:51It's me.
01:13:52It's me.
01:13:53It's me.
01:13:54It's me.
01:13:55It's me.
01:13:56It's me.
01:13:57It's me.
01:13:58It's me.
01:13:59Again, I am so sorry for not calling you.
01:14:07Hi.
01:14:08I hope you got the flowers.
01:14:09Again, I am so sorry for not calling you.
01:14:11It's me again. Okay, I get it. I forgot to call and you were mad.
01:14:16It's silly.
01:14:22Hi, I hope you got the flowers. Again, I am so sorry for not calling you.
01:14:31Gabby, come on. What's it gonna take for you to forgive me?
01:14:34I'll do anything you want.
01:14:41Brought you some flowers. In case the other three bouquets got lonely.
01:14:46Thank you. You can go now. I don't want to take any more time out of your busy schedule.
01:14:50For God's sake, Gabby, how many times do I have to say I'm sorry?
01:14:54What I did was thoughtless and inconsiderate.
01:14:56Yes, it was.
01:14:57But what you did was flat-out vicious.
01:14:58Just trying to get your attention.
01:15:00By humiliating me in public.
01:15:01Hey, you hurt me. If I have to strike back hard to protect myself...
01:15:04Is that what you think this is? Combat?
01:15:06I've been taken for granted before, and I'm not gonna let it happen again.
01:15:09If I'm gonna give myself to you, you damn well better worship me.
01:15:12And I will do that. Morning and evening services.
01:15:15Good.
01:15:16But you have to stop treating this relationship like it's a boxing match only one of us can win.
01:15:21Maybe you haven't noticed, but I'm in love with you.
01:15:23So it'd be nice if you could take the gloves off and trust me.
01:15:26You're in love with me?
01:15:30Yeah.
01:15:31My campaign, that's about winning.
01:15:37This, you and me, it's about happiness.
01:15:42And we could both use a little.
01:15:45But maybe you need some more time to think about it.
01:15:51Look, no gloves.
01:16:06Travers conked out the moment his head hit the pillow.
01:16:20Poor little guy was beat.
01:16:22Well, he should be. He covered every inch of that zoo.
01:16:25Oh.
01:16:26Oh, check this out. You and Travers are the monkey house.
01:16:29Oh, I look squinty. Delete, delete.
01:16:31Oh, there's the one the pretzel guy took.
01:16:34Oh, look at the three of us. You have to email me that one.
01:16:37Isn't that great?
01:16:38Mm-hmm.
01:16:39You know, he thought that Travers had my eyes.
01:16:41Seriously?
01:16:42He totally thought we were family.
01:16:44Oh, well, if we were, we'd be one hell of a good looking one.
01:16:48Hmm.
01:16:49Hmm.
01:16:50Yeah.
01:16:51Nothing better than family.
01:16:55Hmm.
01:16:56Hmm.
01:17:21Oh, wow.
01:17:23And this time I really mean it.
01:17:26Yeah.
01:17:27Oh.
01:17:28Me too.
01:17:34Well, you gonna say anything?
01:17:36To be honest, I've heard better apologies.
01:17:39But I know how hard this must have been for you.
01:17:42And that makes me happy.
01:17:44So I accept.
01:17:46Thanks.
01:17:47That's big of you.
01:17:49And it's big of you to admit you're a chucklehead.
01:17:51I'll see you tomorrow.
01:17:52Did you hear that, Gilbert?
01:17:55He apologized.
01:17:56I mean, I know he did it just for her sake.
01:17:59But still.
01:18:02Maybe they have a good marriage after all.
01:18:06But they'll never have what we had.
01:18:08Will they, Gilbert?
01:18:10Not by a long shot.
01:18:15Passion.
01:18:16It's a force so potent we still remember it long after it's faded away.
01:18:23A drive so alluring it can push us into the arms of unexpected lovers.
01:18:29A sensation so overwhelming it can knock down walls we've built to protect our hearts.
01:18:39A feeling so intense it resurfaces, even though we tried so hard to keep it buried.
01:18:46Yes.
01:18:47Of all emotions, passion is the one that gives us a reason to live.
01:18:56And an excuse to commit all sorts of crimes.
01:19:01To be continued...
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