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  • 6/27/2025
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Transcript
00:00:01Previously on Desperate Housewives
00:00:03Principal Hobson just called and Juanita got accepted to Oak Ridge.
00:00:06There was acceptance.
00:00:07I like the blunt Anna more than the cute Anna.
00:00:10So, you think I'm cute?
00:00:12A plea.
00:00:13You have to let me help you or I am gonna-
00:00:14Or you won't get into heaven?
00:00:17A breakdown.
00:00:18Did you stab yourself?
00:00:19I have to get to the fight!
00:00:21Please!
00:00:22And a confrontation.
00:00:24I don't know how you feel, Lynette, because you never talk about it!
00:00:27We lost a kid!
00:00:28How can saying this out loud be helpful?
00:00:35If you want to throw a successful dinner party,
00:00:38there are certain rules that must be followed.
00:00:42If the good silver is used, it must be polished.
00:00:47If music is played, the volume should be low.
00:00:51If the guests bring wine, it must be served.
00:00:55And if the evening is to be truly successful, there must be a toast.
00:01:02To Lee, this dinner has been a total triumph.
00:01:05Aww!
00:01:07And it's not over yet.
00:01:08I made a fruit tart for dessert.
00:01:10Ooh!
00:01:11In case any of you were diabetic, let me just say, it was nice knowing you.
00:01:14No, seriously, this is how we lost his cousin.
00:01:19Hey, Bob, where's the whipped cream?
00:01:21Oh, I totally forgot.
00:01:23I was on my phone and I drove right past the store.
00:01:25Of course, because it's something that I needed.
00:01:28I was working all day.
00:01:30If it was that important, why don't you just go out and get it?
00:01:32Uh, I work too.
00:01:33Selling houses is work.
00:01:35House.
00:01:36He sold one house in six months.
00:01:40Attacking.
00:01:45What's that?
00:01:47My feelings journal.
00:01:51Lee and I are seeing this counselor.
00:01:53She has us write down our negative feelings to discuss in our sessions.
00:01:59Seems like you've got a lot of feelings there, Lee.
00:02:01That's volume three.
00:02:02With an entire chapter about me forgetting to put down the toilet seat.
00:02:06I thought that would be the one advantage with two guys living together.
00:02:09You'd think.
00:02:14Well, the good news is that you're getting help.
00:02:17We should think about seeing someone.
00:02:20What?
00:02:21You know, to help us with our stuff.
00:02:24Can we talk about our stuff later?
00:02:26We could.
00:02:27But you won't.
00:02:29She never wants to talk.
00:02:32You know how I feel about therapy.
00:02:34It's for weak, indulgent.
00:02:38Street people.
00:02:39You guys totally make it work.
00:02:42I used to feel the same way about therapy.
00:02:43But this lady, she's really great.
00:02:46Volume three?
00:02:48Can't we give it a try?
00:02:50I don't need someone telling me how I feel, okay?
00:02:52So can we just drop it?
00:02:57And the number one rule for a successful dinner party?
00:03:02After dessert, let's karaoke.
00:03:04Keep discussion of your marriage.
00:03:07To an absolute minimum.
00:03:08Dr. Brent Avedon was the head of psychology at the Fairview Health Center.
00:03:24He spent his days treating antisocial adolescents, delusional dowagers, and bipolar businessmen.
00:03:38But lately, his most interesting patient was a housewife who'd had a nervous breakdown.
00:03:46I was just so lonely.
00:03:49And then one day along came this wonderful man.
00:03:55A man who made me laugh, who gave me hope again, and who turned out to be in love with someone else.
00:04:05So, I went back to being lonely.
00:04:11Only it was worse now because he wasn't really gone.
00:04:16He was across the street.
00:04:20Holding her hand.
00:04:22Laughing with her.
00:04:23So, one day, I pretended, just for a second, that it wasn't her hand he was holding.
00:04:38It was mine.
00:04:39Hmm.
00:04:40And that's how the fantasy started?
00:04:41When I was hurting, I would let myself imagine that he was there with me.
00:04:56But then, those moments started to mean more to me than what was real.
00:05:06So, I just let myself have them.
00:05:11I let them take over.
00:05:15What about now?
00:05:16Do you feel that the medication is helping you?
00:05:18Well, I certainly have a firmer grasp in reality now.
00:05:28I can see things for the first time in a long while, very clearly.
00:05:35That's great.
00:05:37No.
00:05:39Not really.
00:05:41Because now I can see what I've done to my life.
00:05:44And...
00:05:51How I've ruined it.
00:05:58Okay, Orson, it's time for me to give you your bath.
00:06:01Not now.
00:06:05Orson, you haven't bathed in over a week.
00:06:07Now, I don't want to do this any more than you do.
00:06:09But, frankly, you're getting a little ripe.
00:06:11You said I don't want a bath.
00:06:14Well, it's not about what you want anymore.
00:06:15It's a matter of preserving the drapes.
00:06:18To have another human being bathe me is humiliating.
00:06:23Here.
00:06:24What's this?
00:06:25A list of things I need at the store.
00:06:27I just went to the store for you an hour ago.
00:06:29Can't it wait?
00:06:30No.
00:06:31I need these items immediately.
00:06:32It's urgent.
00:06:34Orson, how are corn nuts urgent?
00:06:37I'm sorry, Brie.
00:06:40I just thought that since you played a major part in putting me in this chair,
00:06:44you'd want to play a small part in making my new life tolerable.
00:06:50Give me the list.
00:06:54Better yet, leave it on the table and then back away.
00:06:57Hey, teach.
00:06:58Hi.
00:06:59I just dropped off Juanita for her first day.
00:07:00She's a little nervous.
00:07:01Oh, she's going to love it here.
00:07:02The teachers are great.
00:07:03So what animal is she?
00:07:04Excuse me?
00:07:05Oh, they test the kids and they place them in groups according to their level.
00:07:20In math, there's leopards, chipmunks, giraffes.
00:07:23Yes.
00:07:24It should be in her folder.
00:07:26Oh, she's a leopard.
00:07:29Oh.
00:07:31What's MJ?
00:07:33He's a giraffe.
00:07:35So, which is the advance group?
00:07:39No one knows.
00:07:41They won't even tell me.
00:07:42Principal Hobson feels that if the parents find out, they'll freak and get all competitive.
00:07:48That's crazy.
00:07:49Who cares?
00:07:50Exactly.
00:07:55Leopards are the morons, aren't they?
00:07:58No.
00:07:59I didn't say that.
00:08:00Yeah, you did.
00:08:01When I asked about MJ, you were like, he's a giraffe.
00:08:03And then I said Juanita was a leopard and you were like, oh.
00:08:07You're just talking to conclusions.
00:08:13You know something.
00:08:14Spell it.
00:08:15Okay, uh, I don't know for sure.
00:08:20But I teach these kids and it's pretty obvious.
00:08:23We were making paper mache globes.
00:08:26This is Rachel Miller.
00:08:29Damn, that's good.
00:08:31She's a giraffe.
00:08:33And this is Wendy Benson.
00:08:36Okay.
00:08:37Chipmunk.
00:08:38And this one was made by Adam Hunter.
00:08:43They hate leopard.
00:08:45My God, it looks like an actual leopard made it.
00:08:48There's nothing wrong with being a leopard.
00:08:51They're very important here.
00:08:53They move the cafeteria tables.
00:08:56Excellent door holders.
00:08:57This isn't fair.
00:09:00Gabby, we have a saying around here.
00:09:02It's the pace, not the race.
00:09:05I know my daughter.
00:09:06She is all giraffe.
00:09:07I'm gonna go talk to the principal.
00:09:10Um, you don't push, you...
00:09:16Sorry.
00:09:17My daughter wasn't here to hold it for me.
00:09:24Jeez.
00:09:25Lynette.
00:09:26I'm ready.
00:09:27Go wash up.
00:09:28What is that?
00:09:29It's nothing.
00:09:30It's, uh, it's, uh...
00:09:31It's personal.
00:09:33Personal?
00:09:34Yes.
00:09:36And I think it's important that we respect each other's boundaries.
00:09:39This morning you walked in and sat on the toilet while I shaved my legs.
00:09:42We have no boundaries.
00:09:45Attacking.
00:09:47What?
00:09:48You sound just like Bob and...
00:09:49Oh, oh, oh my God!
00:09:50Is that a feelings joke?
00:09:52If you must know, yes it is.
00:09:54I started seeing their therapist.
00:09:57Why didn't you tell me?
00:09:58Because I wanted to talk to someone and I didn't need you ridicule.
00:10:03Are you talking about the baby?
00:10:05Started out about that.
00:10:06But now we're on to, um, other things.
00:10:10Other things you mean like me?
00:10:12I might have mentioned you once or twice.
00:10:14Once or twice, uh-huh.
00:10:15I bet if we downed a shot every time we read the name Lynette, we'd be hammered by page two.
00:10:22Where'd you see that?
00:10:23No, no, no, no way!
00:10:28But if you're really interested in what's in here, you can always join me in therapy.
00:10:34Like how?
00:10:35Where'd you go?
00:10:36Fine.
00:10:38I guess you'll just have to wait for the movie.
00:10:48Here we go!
00:10:50Thanks again for having me.
00:10:52This all looks delicious.
00:10:54Oh, it's your first night over.
00:10:55I wanted to make you a traditional Italian meal.
00:10:57Rigatoni with sausage, chicken parm.
00:10:59Just salad would be great.
00:11:01Oh, screw the salad.
00:11:02That came out of a bag.
00:11:03This rigatoni came from my heart.
00:11:06To be honest, I don't eat carbs.
00:11:09But you'll make an exception tonight because I've been sweating over the stove all day.
00:11:12Well, let it go.
00:11:14She's watching her weight.
00:11:15Her weight?
00:11:16If I put the air conditioner on high, it'll blow her across the room.
00:11:19I just have to be careful.
00:11:20As soon as I graduate high school, I'm going to New York to be a model.
00:11:24Oh, no college?
00:11:26Are you kidding?
00:11:27And miss my prime modeling years?
00:11:29What?
00:11:32I think it's great.
00:11:33It takes guts to follow a dream.
00:11:36Yeah, it's great, but it'd be nice to have something other than the porn industry to fall back on.
00:11:43Mom?
00:11:45Well, I'm not saying that's going to happen, but a lot of models do end up that way.
00:11:49I know, it's risky, but I'm really passionate about this.
00:11:52And I think that the best way to be successful in life is to do what you're passionate about.
00:11:56That's why I keep telling Danny to pursue his poetry.
00:12:01Poetry?
00:12:02Yeah.
00:12:03It's amazing, right?
00:12:04I wouldn't know.
00:12:05I'm too busy cooking food nobody's going to eat.
00:12:08Danny, why'd you ever show me your poetry?
00:12:11It's no big deal.
00:12:12Danny, it's great.
00:12:13I keep telling him he should come to New York with me so he can really focus on his writing.
00:12:18Wow.
00:12:20A model and a poet.
00:12:21So while you're doing porn, he can make the dialogue rhyme.
00:12:27This is why I don't tell her stuff.
00:12:29Okay, I'm sorry, I was just trying to make a joke.
00:12:36Let's get back to dinner, huh?
00:12:39Oh, no, I'm good.
00:12:41Carbs.
00:12:42Mm-mm.
00:12:49I'll be out running errands today, so you'll have to let the physical therapist in when she arrives.
00:12:55Hmm.
00:12:57What's wrong?
00:12:58There's no strawberries.
00:12:59You know I like strawberries with my waffles.
00:13:01I am sorry.
00:13:03They're right here.
00:13:04There you go.
00:13:05Strawberries.
00:13:06Enjoy.
00:13:08I need whipped cream.
00:13:11Unless you think the strawberries are going to magically stick to the waffles by themselves.
00:13:24Not so fast.
00:13:38Say please.
00:13:40I will not.
00:13:41Give me my breakfast.
00:13:42Orson, I am happy to do whatever you ask, but I will not be treated like a slave.
00:13:46Now say please.
00:13:47Now that I look at your waffle, I understand why you're so eager to have it.
00:14:02Three.
00:14:04You know the magic word.
00:14:05It has six letters.
00:14:07I know a word that has three.
00:14:08If you don't give me my food, I'm going to shove that fork up it.
00:14:11You can have it when you're ready to be polite.
00:14:25Mr. Hobson, my daughter is incredibly bright.
00:14:27I just need to know if she's in the advanced classes.
00:14:29You know that we have a policy not to disclose that.
00:14:32No, you don't have to say anything.
00:14:34Just blink when I mention the smart group.
00:14:36Leopard.
00:14:37Mrs. Solis.
00:14:38Wait, was that a blink or a twitch?
00:14:39I can't tell.
00:14:40You seem very nervous.
00:14:41You see, this is exactly why we don't tell the parents.
00:14:44They start behaving irrationally.
00:14:48And stop trying to read things on my desk upside down.
00:14:53What is the big deal?
00:14:54I just need to know if my daughter is going to succeed in life.
00:14:56She's seven.
00:14:58Now I suggest that you stop prying and just be proud of her.
00:15:01No matter what group she's in.
00:15:04I am proud of her.
00:15:05And I don't pry.
00:15:10By the way, enjoy your colonoscopy on the 16th.
00:15:18Mom, what are you doing here?
00:15:20I'm just having a nice get-to-know-you chat with the principal.
00:15:23Who are your friends?
00:15:24Um, this is Wendy and Rachel.
00:15:26We're a map together.
00:15:28Oh, wait a minute.
00:15:29I think I saw your art projects.
00:15:31Wendy, you're a chipmunk, right?
00:15:33And Rachel, you are a giraffe.
00:15:35Oh, okay.
00:15:39You know what I would love to do is take a picture with Juanita and her friends.
00:15:45And, uh, you know what would be really cute is if you hold up your math homework.
00:15:58Got it.
00:15:59But I wasn't smiling.
00:16:00Yeah, well, it's a tough world out there.
00:16:02Not much to smile about.
00:16:03Have a great day.
00:16:07Your mom's weird.
00:16:09You have no idea.
00:16:10No idea.
00:16:22Orson.
00:16:24I'm letting myself in.
00:16:26Time for your therapy.
00:16:29Help me.
00:16:30Oh, dear lord.
00:16:31Oh, dear lord.
00:16:32Orson.
00:16:33What happened?
00:16:34Oh, George.
00:16:35Oh.
00:16:36Oh, I was trying to get those waffles.
00:16:37And I fell out of my chair.
00:16:38What are they doing up there?
00:16:39Starving him?
00:16:40That's ridiculous.
00:16:41Really?
00:16:42So you don't torment him by putting food out of his reach?
00:16:43Oh.
00:16:44Well, you're gonna have to be there for that.
00:16:45Would someone please get me a piece of bread?
00:16:46Orson, for God's sake, stop that.
00:16:47Please hit me in the legs this time.
00:16:48There's no feeling there.
00:16:49Mrs. Hodge, may I speak to you privately for a moment?
00:16:51You have to believe this.
00:16:52No whole issue?
00:16:56иб make that action.
00:17:04Should I leave suppose I am too excited by Noel?
00:17:06No, dear lord.
00:17:07No.
00:17:08You think I don't need to be there for three years,
00:17:13Conor2?
00:17:14Like a half years old?
00:17:15You still put one, 25.
00:17:17Oh, oh, dear lord.
00:17:18Mr. Hodge.
00:17:19You have to believe me. I would never hit my husband.
00:17:22I sensed him being a little dramatic, but withholding food?
00:17:25The whole thing started because he refused to say please.
00:17:30Which, I know, sounds rather petty, but you have to understand he has been impossible lately.
00:17:36The man is facing life in a wheelchair.
00:17:38He's mad at the world, and unfortunately, he's taking it out on you.
00:17:45Look, I know this is not easy,
00:17:48but until he comes to accept this, you're going to have to figure out how to be more patient.
00:17:54And if you can't, it's my obligation to report it.
00:18:01Oh, and give the man a bath.
00:18:04Physical therapy shouldn't require gloves.
00:18:13Hey! Hey!
00:18:14You aren't home when they try to deliver this, so I signed for it.
00:18:16Yeah, we just, we had, uh, saw an ad for...
00:18:20Honest to God, don't need to know.
00:18:23Good. Um, ah, look.
00:18:30Looks like somebody got a new girlfriend.
00:18:32Yeah, not for long.
00:18:33I do not approve.
00:18:35Ah, you don't approve, and she's got a body that would make the Pope walk through a sliding glass door.
00:18:40Gosh, who's going to win?
00:18:41He is my kid. If I don't think she is good for him, I will do whatever I have to do.
00:18:45Which will drive him towards her and away from you.
00:18:48Look, I know what it's like when a mom hates the hottie her son loves.
00:18:52Bob's mom hated me.
00:18:54Huh. I always thought that Bob was the hottie.
00:18:56The point is, she overplayed her hand and made Bob choose between us.
00:19:02Long story short, I'm cuddling up with Bob every night, and where's mama? Nursing home. How'd she get there? Don't know. Can't remember.
00:19:10It's just, I don't know this girl. I don't know if I can trust her.
00:19:15Well, then you better get to know her. I'd hate to see you lose your son because you're afraid to share him.
00:19:19Get out of here.
00:19:27Carlos, did you get the pictures I sent you?
00:19:30You're as beautiful as the day we met. Time hasn't touched you at all.
00:19:33Not of me. Of the math homework.
00:19:36What?
00:19:37Here. This assignment looks easy, doesn't it?
00:19:41Pretty basic, yeah.
00:19:43And look at this one, with the multiplication. A little more complicated, right?
00:19:48I guess.
00:19:50And this one?
00:19:52Word problems. Fractions.
00:19:54This is the hardest one, isn't it?
00:19:56Looks like it, so?
00:19:57Carlos, this is the leopard's homework.
00:20:00Well, that cleared that up.
00:20:03No, don't you get it? Our daughter is a leopard. She's in the advanced class.
00:20:07Hey, good for her.
00:20:09Oh, poor Susan.
00:20:11Yeah, why?
00:20:14Well, she was convinced that MJ's brilliant and turns out he's in the slow group.
00:20:18I would hate for her to find out.
00:20:21Gabby, you are not telling her.
00:20:22Why not?
00:20:23She didn't have any trouble telling me she thought Juanita was one thermos short of a lunchbox.
00:20:27She said that?
00:20:28Yes.
00:20:29With her tone.
00:20:31Mm-hmm.
00:20:32Well, we've had enough drama with the neighbors lately, so just drop it.
00:20:35Fine, I'll drop it.
00:20:37But just so you know, I like you better when you're reading the newspaper pretending to listen.
00:20:41Sure, take whatever you need.
00:20:55What are you doing here?
00:20:57I told them I don't want any visitors.
00:20:59Who says I'm visiting?
00:21:00Maybe I'm bonkers, too.
00:21:04You gonna eat the applesauce?
00:21:10Remember when my gout flared up and I couldn't walk?
00:21:15And you used to come over to see me?
00:21:18I figured I owe you.
00:21:20That paid.
00:21:21Goodbye.
00:21:22I got your charming personality back.
00:21:25So...
00:21:27When are you gonna be coming back home?
00:21:29What makes you think I would ever come back?
00:21:31After what I did to those people?
00:21:33No.
00:21:34They hate me.
00:21:35Take it from the raining odd duck on the lane.
00:21:38Nobody cares about all that silly stuff.
00:21:40Oh, you're right.
00:21:41Bree and I can just laugh, laugh, laugh about silly me nearly destroying her business.
00:21:46And I'll tell Susan that I was just dashing about trying to wreck her marriage.
00:21:50And Mike is still chuckling about me getting him thrown in jail.
00:21:53Will you listen?
00:21:55Kathy, I'm serious.
00:21:57I'm willing to bet there's more forgiveness there than you imagine.
00:22:02In that case, you know what?
00:22:04What?
00:22:05Maybe you are bonkers.
00:22:17Hey, hon, look who's here.
00:22:20Hey, Susan, what's up?
00:22:21I was going through some of MJ's stuff and I found these math workbooks from last year.
00:22:24I thought Juanita would find them helpful.
00:22:27Well...
00:22:32No problem.
00:22:34I thought it might help her catch up.
00:22:38Catch up.
00:22:40Yeah.
00:22:40You know, from when she was out of school.
00:22:43She was never out of school.
00:22:45I was homeschooling her.
00:22:46And I know you did the best you could, but now she has professional teachers and I bet she's going to catch up to MJ in no time.
00:22:57Get her.
00:23:00Well, Susan, by the way, did you hear? Leopards are the advanced students.
00:23:06What?
00:23:07Yeah, it's true.
00:23:09Chipmunks are average and giraffes, well, those cafeteria tables aren't going to move themselves.
00:23:15How do you know this?
00:23:16I got a copy of each group's homework.
00:23:18Trust me, I cracked the code.
00:23:21So that means that MJ's not in the...
00:23:24Hey, but you said it yourself.
00:23:25It's no big deal.
00:23:26It's the pace, not the race, right?
00:23:28Right?
00:23:29Oh, and please, don't say anything to anyone.
00:23:32You know how competitive some parents can get.
00:23:35Oh, yeah.
00:23:37All too well.
00:23:45I'm finished.
00:23:45Can I have my milk and cookies now?
00:23:51Sure.
00:23:52Sweetie.
00:23:53You have some pasta stuck to the right side of your face.
00:23:56No, sweetie, you're right.
00:24:02Oh, never mind.
00:24:05Hey, guys.
00:24:06Mike, can you help me take out the trash?
00:24:08Sure.
00:24:09Never mind that.
00:24:13Okay, so he's a giraffe.
00:24:15You know, there's nothing wrong with being average.
00:24:17No, chipmunks are average.
00:24:19How many times do I have to tell you?
00:24:20Leopards, chipmunks, giraffes.
00:24:23I love him so much.
00:24:24Mike, what if he's...
00:24:28slow?
00:24:29He's not slow.
00:24:31He's a smart, inquisitive, bright little boy.
00:24:37Oh, no.
00:24:41He's got his hand stuck in the glass.
00:24:45Oh, come on, buddy.
00:24:46Come on, just hold the glass.
00:24:52Pull with the other hand.
00:24:55You can do it.
00:24:58Come on, MJ.
00:25:01Yes!
00:25:02How?
00:25:04Yes!
00:25:04See?
00:25:05You were worried about nothing.
00:25:06You're right.
00:25:07Oh.
00:25:09Oh, no.
00:25:11He's heading toward the toaster with a fork.
00:25:12Oh, no.
00:25:22I'm on.
00:25:23I'm on.
00:25:24I'm on.
00:25:25I mean...
00:25:28I'm on.
00:25:29honey yeah hey okay you want to grab lunch today uh maybe tomorrow i have a thing if you mean
00:25:45therapy why don't you say therapy i just didn't want to get into a fight that's all hey won't
00:25:52you need this all right thanks don't you want to know if i read it oh i'd know if you read it
00:26:00excuse me are you waiting for dr graham don't tell me she double booked again
00:26:22oh no i don't have an appointment but i really need to talk to her so can i have yours
00:26:27i don't know i really need to talk to her too seriously because i was looking at you thinking
00:26:33what is he doing here that guy's really got it together thanks but i've been having a pretty
00:26:39hard time lately i'll give you 200 bucks cash 20's okay so um what were you going to talk to her about
00:26:50i'm starting to feel the urge to gamble again thanks
00:26:54mr jameson he had to go but he said i could have his appointment
00:27:04uh i'm sorry but it doesn't work like that if you're interested in becoming a patient
00:27:11i'm not i'm mrs tom scavo yep that's what i thought
00:27:17well i don't blame you for reacting like that i can only imagine the stories tom's been reading
00:27:26to you from his big book of wah so here i am tom scavo's bitch of a wife in the flesh
00:27:35why do you put it like that i don't know specifically what word he uses i'm just
00:27:43picking the one that seems the most likely so you think your husband describes you as a bitch
00:27:48doesn't he what tom says in this room is private which means yes well obviously it does to you
00:27:58i'm just wondering why that might be ah i see what you're trying to do but i did not come here
00:28:05for therapy i came here to defend myself because there's two sides to every story so you're not a
00:28:10bitch not all the time no but sometimes i just need
00:28:20i want to feel like i'm in control and when i don't that makes me mad and maybe i'm mad a lot
00:28:32because i don't know if you've noticed but you can't control what happens in life
00:28:37like your baby dying
00:28:41i'm going to sit down but only because i'm tired
00:28:54unless you need to go or something no i don't need to go anywhere
00:29:04hey hey how was your day
00:29:18is that a yep looks like we'll be going to therapy together really that is great news thank you
00:29:28where's dinner
00:29:34i mean you were home all day
00:29:39what are you writing you'll find out tuesday at 12 30
00:29:48colleen can i talk to you
00:29:55uh i've got parent-teacher conferences but not for a few minutes what's up
00:29:59it's about mj how is he doing in your math class
00:30:03oh he's such a joy
00:30:04oh god you just did the he's such a joy with the head tilt
00:30:09i give that one to parents all the time when i think their kid is driftwood
00:30:13no seriously mj's doing great
00:30:16oh really well if he's doing so great
00:30:19why is he a giraffe
00:30:20what he should be a leopard they're the advanced students
00:30:25you don't know that
00:30:27i do now gabby solis broke the code
00:30:29what that's right giraffes are the slow learners and you know it
00:30:34giraffes are the slow learners
00:30:36no no no mrs chapman no one said that
00:30:38why don't you wait for me in my classroom
00:30:41gabrielle solis figured out the code
00:30:43leopards chipmunks giraffes
00:30:45jenny
00:30:46we got the code leopards are the smart ones
00:30:49now look at what you've done mj is here
00:30:53he's leopard get used to it
00:30:55where have you been
00:31:00i need you to close the door
00:31:02oh uh well i thought a little fresh air would be nice
00:31:07it isn't
00:31:08well as the person who has to share a house with the person who won't take a bath
00:31:12i need the fresh air
00:31:14i don't care
00:31:15close it
00:31:17orson
00:31:18i know that you are angry at the world right now
00:31:22what happened to you is unimaginable
00:31:24and i am going to do whatever i can to help you through this
00:31:27and all i ask in return is that you treat me with a little bit of courtesy
00:31:30and that includes using the word
00:31:31please
00:31:33why the sudden interest in etiquette brie
00:31:35i mean i don't recall you saying please before you cheated on me
00:31:38this conversation is over the door stays open
00:31:43i want it closed
00:31:44no you stink
00:31:45and you're a whore
00:31:46here's the difference
00:31:48i can get clean
00:31:49yes you can
00:31:55what are you doing
00:32:05what's going on
00:32:07i'm not even dressed
00:32:08what is that
00:32:13what is that what's going on
00:32:15brie
00:32:17stop
00:32:18you wouldn't
00:32:25stop it
00:32:27brie
00:32:28stop it
00:32:29stop
00:32:29brie
00:32:30please
00:32:31please
00:32:32please
00:32:33stop it
00:32:35please
00:32:36stop
00:32:37brie
00:32:38roll me over
00:32:51please
00:32:52please
00:32:53please
00:32:54please
00:32:55that's the life i'm facing now having to ask people for help for everything do you know how
00:33:04hard that is every morning i wake up at five you get up at six thirty for an hour and a half i lie
00:33:10there staring at the bedroom door fantasizing about how lovely it would be how excruciatingly
00:33:15lovely it would be to get up and make myself a cup of tea one last time no please just hot water
00:33:25and tea
00:33:26orson
00:33:42i'm so sorry
00:33:45forgive me
00:33:50please
00:33:55what are you in for eating paste what animal group are you giraffe
00:34:15dan
00:34:17joey murphy
00:34:20i'll be with you two in a moment
00:34:28sorry for getting you in trouble
00:34:34it's my own fault i carried away me too it was just so important to me that wanita was doing well
00:34:45i know
00:34:47no i don't think you do
00:34:50my kids are my calling card they're what i have to show for myself i don't have a career
00:34:58susan my kids are my job and whatever happens if they succeed or they don't succeed it's because of how i raise them
00:35:04well at least you get to raise them ever since i took this job i feel like i'm never with mj i constantly worry am i there enough for him by letting him down
00:35:14you don't have anything to worry about you don't have anything to worry about mj is a fantastic kid
00:35:19yeah well so is warnita
00:35:24they're moms that are the competitive nuts
00:35:27yeah it's been so ridiculous leopards and giraffes and chipmunks i mean who created this crazy system
00:35:32you know reading class is just as bad
00:35:34there's otters penguins and seals
00:35:36yeah wanita is an otter i mean what does an otter have to do with learning how to read
00:35:44wanita is an otter?
00:35:45yeah
00:35:48why? what's mj?
00:35:49penguin
00:36:02huh
00:36:04this is pretty what do you think?
00:36:07i think maybe i'd buy it for my grandma if i hated her
00:36:13you're so funny
00:36:14so as much fun as we're having here why are we doing this?
00:36:19we are getting to know each other
00:36:21oh
00:36:22you know me and you don't like me
00:36:29it's not that i don't like you
00:36:31it's just i don't think you're good for danny
00:36:34why? because i wouldn't eat your pasta?
00:36:36rigatoni
00:36:39i know
00:36:40it's because you are a good time girl out to have fun
00:36:43and not that i blame you for it
00:36:44you're young, you're beautiful, you're supposed to have fun
00:36:47but danny has been through a lot
00:36:49and he needs someone who is not gonna hurt him
00:36:52i know danny has been through rough stuff
00:36:55when he lashes out and gets all defensive
00:36:58trying to protect himself
00:37:00i get it
00:37:01because i used to do it too
00:37:05yeah
00:37:06it's the thing that made me like him
00:37:09i know how he feels
00:37:10and
00:37:12it's not fun
00:37:13at all
00:37:16i don't care if you like me
00:37:18and i don't care if you hate how i dress
00:37:20but
00:37:21i am not gonna hurt danny
00:37:23how can i be sure of that
00:37:26you can't
00:37:28but it doesn't matter
00:37:29because
00:37:30i'm not going anywhere
00:37:31what are you doing back here?
00:37:42i've been thinking about what you said last time
00:37:44the more i thought about it
00:37:46the more it pissed me off
00:37:49why is that?
00:37:50the people on that street have been your friends for years
00:37:53you really think we would dump your ass just cause you went off the deep end for some months?
00:38:00i appreciate you coming here
00:38:01i do
00:38:03but after everything i did
00:38:04i don't see how anyone could forgive me
00:38:06well we're not saying it'll be easy
00:38:11but we'll give it a try
00:38:22i told them how much better you were doing but they couldn't take my word for it
00:38:26so they had to see for themselves
00:38:36it's about to be so sick
00:38:39but they got the way to feel that they were doing what they were doing
00:38:40i don't care
00:38:41no
00:38:43no
00:38:44no
00:38:46no
00:38:47no
00:38:48no
00:38:49no
00:38:50no
00:38:51no
00:38:52no
00:38:53no
00:38:54no
00:38:55no
00:38:57no
00:38:58no
00:38:59no
00:39:00no
00:39:01no
00:39:02no
00:39:03no
00:39:04no
00:39:05no
00:39:06In our darkest moments, we all need someone who will listen.
00:39:12Some turn to friendly professionals.
00:39:15A few rely on those who are older and wiser.
00:39:20Others seek out someone who knows what they're going through.
00:39:24But for most of us, nothing is quite so therapeutic as a good long talk with a few old friends.
00:39:54Great news, thank you.
00:39:56As soon as I graduate high school, I'm going to New York to be a model.
00:39:59Angie's concerns made her more protective.
00:40:03You know I've always felt bad about the way we've had to raise you, being on the run and all.
00:40:07The door stays open.
00:40:09I want it closed.
00:40:10You stink.
00:40:11And you're a whore.
00:40:12Here's the difference.
00:40:13I can get clean.
00:40:15Stop!
00:40:16Say please!
00:40:17And Orson expressed his feelings.
00:40:19Please!
00:40:20That's the life I'm facing now.
00:40:21Having to ask people for help, for everything.
00:40:23Do you know how hard that is?
00:40:31Orson Hodge was smiling again.
00:40:34And it was starting to worry his wife.
00:40:40You see, since his accident, Brie Hodge had grown accustomed to her husband's severe mood swings.
00:40:49She had grown used to his unexpected rage.
00:40:53But lately, an odd tranquility had settled over Orson, and his wife had the feeling something was terribly wrong.
00:41:10Sadly, she was right.
00:41:12What's something going on here?
00:41:19Hello, Brie.
00:41:21Just thought I'd give away some things I don't need anymore.
00:41:24Hey, Orson, you got these in eight and a half?
00:41:27Sorry, Roy.
00:41:27We just carry men's sizes.
00:41:28Look, I can understand why you might want to give away your sporting equipment, but why would you give away your books and your CDs?
00:41:38And for God's sakes, you can still use your headphones?
00:41:41These are amazing!
00:41:43Give me those.
00:41:44Ow!
00:41:45What is wrong with you people?
00:41:47Don't you realize you're taking advantage of a man who is emotionally distraught?
00:41:51He seemed to be in a great mood.
00:41:53Until Lady Sunshine walked in.
00:41:55We're sorry, Brie.
00:41:56We assumed you guys had talked about it.
00:41:57Well, we didn't.
00:41:58And that doesn't excuse the fact that you're all acting like a bunch of vultures.
00:42:01It's a good thing I came home, or you'd be picking through his closet.
00:42:06Um, you know what, guys?
00:42:07We should go.
00:42:08And please leave your plunder behind.
00:42:11Hey, come on.
00:42:12At my age, it's just a short-term load.
00:42:14What has gotten into you?
00:42:23I'm sorry, darling.
00:42:24I had no intention of upsetting you.
00:42:27Keep my things.
00:42:28Give them away.
00:42:29Ultimately, it doesn't matter.
00:42:31Yes.
00:42:33Orson Hodge was smiling again.
00:42:36And Brie would soon learn the reason why.
00:42:39You see, her husband had decided to kill himself.
00:42:59In this never-ending drama we call life, everyone has a part to play.
00:43:05Some are cast as romantic leads.
00:43:10Others end up playing the victim.
00:43:15And a few provide comic relief.
00:43:20But if the drama is to be really compelling, there must be a hero and a villain.
00:43:30Hey, Mrs. Kinski.
00:43:32Look who's here.
00:43:34It's garbage.
00:43:35I hate to bug you, but you're still not separating your glass and your plastics.
00:43:41The city passed that ordinance.
00:43:43Remember?
00:43:44Oh, I envy you.
00:43:46Young, pretty, able to crouch for hours behind a bush waiting for a neighbor to dump her trash.
00:43:51Look, maybe you don't get how easy it is to recycle.
00:43:54Oh, I get it.
00:43:55I just don't want to do it.
00:43:57I've been throwing styrofoam into the trash since before you were born.
00:44:01And the sky is still blue and the grass is still green.
00:44:03Maybe now.
00:44:04Well, what will it be like for our grandchildren?
00:44:06My son is shooting blanks and my daughter likes the ladies.
00:44:09Grandkids are the least of my concerns.
00:44:11So you don't care about our planet at all.
00:44:13By the time it's a problem, I'll be long gone.
00:44:16Let the cockroaches and the robots fight over it.
00:44:18What was that all about?
00:44:28Oh, what do you think?
00:44:29Come on.
00:44:30Look, one old crank doesn't want to recycle.
00:44:34You don't care about that stuff anymore, remember?
00:44:36Of course I still care.
00:44:37Fine, yeah.
00:44:38You can care.
00:44:39Just don't be blowing our cover.
00:44:42So what am I supposed to do?
00:44:43Stand back and watch her defile our planet?
00:44:47That's exactly what you're supposed to do.
00:44:52Sometimes you chain yourself to the tree and sometimes you go after the guy with the saw.
00:44:56That's what Patrick used to say.
00:45:00We don't talk about Patrick anymore.
00:45:03I'm just saying.
00:45:04So am I.
00:45:05So the lawyer says you sign right here and you are officially bought out of the strip club business.
00:45:19Let's hope I don't get my share in the singles.
00:45:22And here's a little something to remember us by.
00:45:26Lap dancing.
00:45:27It's a grind.
00:45:29Well, I will be sure to wear this on the next field trip I take with my students.
00:45:33Thanks, Jimbo.
00:45:33Good luck.
00:45:34You too.
00:45:37Bye, Mrs. D.
00:45:38Take care, Rob.
00:45:42Moby Dick.
00:45:43It's not what you think.
00:45:44It's about a whale.
00:45:46Yes, I know.
00:45:47It's a classic.
00:45:49Well, I saw an article about a hundred books you should read before dying and I thought,
00:45:54you know, with all the high cholesterol in my family, I better get cracking.
00:45:57Good for you.
00:46:00So what are you going to do now?
00:46:01Oh, well, this was never really my job.
00:46:05I'm actually a teacher.
00:46:07Really?
00:46:08That is so cool.
00:46:10I thought about being a teacher.
00:46:11I actually went a couple semesters, but then my family had some money problems.
00:46:14And about nine years later, I'm still wearing tassels.
00:46:16Robin, you're being requested in the VIP lounge.
00:46:21Well, um, good luck with those hundred books.
00:46:33Oh, not this guy again.
00:46:35Robin, I keep telling him to keep the tips and buy himself a toothbrush.
00:46:41Robin, wait.
00:46:42Um, you don't have to keep doing this if it makes you unhappy.
00:46:48No.
00:46:49I've got bills to pay Mrs. Delfino.
00:46:51No, I know, but you don't have to work here.
00:46:53You can do anything you want.
00:46:55It's easy to say.
00:46:57Well, I mean it.
00:46:57It is never too late to change your life.
00:47:03Robin, now.
00:47:15Are you taking that with you?
00:47:17When customers get grabby, I'd like to have something to whack them with.
00:47:20I almost killed a guy with war and peace.
00:47:21So, I'm driving.
00:47:30This guy pulls out in front of me.
00:47:31Cuts him off.
00:47:32Yes.
00:47:33I was a little pissed.
00:47:34You were furious, but at the stoplight, when I start to tell the guy off, Tom leans over and says,
00:47:39Sorry, uh, no big deal.
00:47:40She's just having a bad day.
00:47:41You didn't have to take the guy's head off.
00:47:43He was a maniac.
00:47:43She flipped him the bird.
00:47:45I was sticking up for you.
00:47:46Yes, but Tom was driving, Lynette.
00:47:48Whether he chose to ignore it or tried to run the man off the road, it's his decision.
00:47:53Let him be in the driver's seat sometimes.
00:47:56Literally and figuratively.
00:48:01Bringing the score to Tom, four, and controlling bitch, zero.
00:48:05There's no scoreboard in this room.
00:48:07You know that.
00:48:10I think you both did some great work today.
00:48:12Next Tuesday, same time.
00:48:13Thanks, Doctor.
00:48:14It felt really great.
00:48:17Yeah, right.
00:48:18I always feel so much better when we get out of there.
00:48:25Yeah, I bet you do.
00:48:26Well, don't you?
00:48:27I mean, I really think she got this working.
00:48:30Yeah, I think she's got this working, and this is getting beat up.
00:48:34Come on, Lynette, don't feel like that.
00:48:36It's true.
00:48:37She always sides with you.
00:48:38I want a second opinion.
00:48:39Lynette.
00:48:39Maybe we should think about seeing another therapist.
00:48:42When we started, you loved her.
00:48:44Yeah, and when we started, I loved you, too.
00:48:46Things change.
00:48:47Now, let's go.
00:48:47Hold on.
00:48:51I think I left my keys.
00:48:55No, I can't.
00:48:56I have dress rehearsal tonight.
00:48:59Okay.
00:48:59Talk to you later.
00:49:00I'm sorry.
00:49:01I forgot my keys.
00:49:02That's okay.
00:49:03Um, I didn't mean to eavesdrop.
00:49:07Did you say you had dress rehearsal?
00:49:10Oh, that.
00:49:11Yes, I'm sort of in a little play that runs this weekend.
00:49:14Really?
00:49:14You're an actor, too.
00:49:16Well, I dabbled in college.
00:49:18I have a bit of a gift, so I tried to keep it alive.
00:49:20Oh, what's the play?
00:49:21I mean, we'd love to come see it.
00:49:23Anthony and Cleopatra.
00:49:24But it's just a community production.
00:49:26I would never force you to sit through it.
00:49:28Oh, okay.
00:49:28Look, you don't want us to come.
00:49:29Here's a flyer.
00:49:30Matinees are half off.
00:49:37Hey.
00:49:37Hey.
00:49:38I need Anna to watch the girls while I run to the store.
00:49:40In big shock, she's not entering her cell.
00:49:42No problem.
00:49:43Come on in.
00:49:45They're just up in Danny's room.
00:49:47Anna!
00:49:50Gabby's here!
00:49:52So, they're in Danny's room?
00:49:54Oh, yeah.
00:49:54They were listening to music.
00:49:55It was so loud, I made them shut the door.
00:49:56Oh, so they're by themselves.
00:50:00With the door shut.
00:50:02Just a couple of teenagers, alone with their genitals.
00:50:07Anna!
00:50:08Get your ass down here!
00:50:10Gabby, what's the big deal?
00:50:11They're just hanging out in Danny's room.
00:50:13With a mattress?
00:50:14Why don't you just crack a bottle of champagne on Anna's pelvis
00:50:16and wish Danny a bon voyage?
00:50:19Anna!
00:50:19Now!
00:50:20Hold on, I'm coming.
00:50:23I'm sure she meant she's on her way.
00:50:27What's going on?
00:50:28I have to run to the store.
00:50:29I need you to watch the girls.
00:50:30That's it?
00:50:31Jeez, I thought the house was on fire.
00:50:33Let me grab my stuff.
00:50:37So, you worried they might be doing it?
00:50:40Yeah.
00:50:41What I don't get is why you're not worried.
00:50:42They are healthy, red-blooded kids.
00:50:44They're going to do what they're going to do.
00:50:45So, we say nothing and just fluff their pillows?
00:50:48No, we make sure they don't do anything stupid.
00:50:50Have you gotten Anna birth control?
00:50:52I make her spend time with Juanita and Celia.
00:50:54I was hoping that would do it.
00:50:56Come on, Gabby.
00:50:58You have to talk to her about safe sex, condoms.
00:51:00She's only 17.
00:51:01She's too young.
00:51:03How old were you when you first did it?
00:51:09Anna, hurry up!
00:51:11Gotta hit the pharmacy, too!
00:51:12I didn't hear you come in.
00:51:32Dear Spree, I will always love you, but the will to fight on has left me, so I've chosen
00:51:36to exit life on my own terms.
00:51:40Is this a suicide note?
00:51:41Well, it's really more of a suicide rough draft.
00:51:45Oh, my God!
00:51:47I didn't mean for you to find out this way, but now that you know, at least we can discuss
00:51:52it like adults.
00:51:53There's nothing to discuss.
00:51:56Orson, this is obviously the depression talking.
00:52:00We will get you some medication.
00:52:01Breathe, breathe.
00:52:03There's no need for you to feel badly about this.
00:52:07I've had a good life.
00:52:09Let me go.
00:52:10I will do no such thing.
00:52:13I forbid this.
00:52:14Do you hear me?
00:52:14You will not be killing yourself.
00:52:16I will remove every knife, rope, and pill from this house, and if I have to, I will be
00:52:20with you 24 hours a day.
00:52:23Well, being bored to death wasn't how I was planning to go, but we can try it your way.
00:52:28Well, I'll give you some time to adjust to this, but understand me, it's going to happen.
00:52:56What's with the condoms?
00:52:57Calm down.
00:52:58They're not for you.
00:53:00Just what every man wants to hear from his wife.
00:53:03So?
00:53:05Okay, hear me out.
00:53:06You know how Anna is dating Danny Boland?
00:53:09I'm going to kill him.
00:53:10And we have to be realistic.
00:53:11With my bare hands.
00:53:12Because we're not going to listen to reason.
00:53:13And bury him under the porch.
00:53:15Carlos, what choice do we have?
00:53:17There are two teenagers who are getting seriously involved.
00:53:20Isn't it better to be safe than sorry?
00:53:21But giving them these is like giving them our blessing.
00:53:23And that's how I felt at first, but like Angie said, nature's going to take its course.
00:53:27Yeah, easy for her to say.
00:53:28She's got the boy.
00:53:30What if the condom breaks?
00:53:31What if he forgets to put it on?
00:53:33If he knocks Anna up, who do you think is going to end up raising the kid?
00:53:35God, that would be awful.
00:53:38Getting up for those 3 a.m. feedings after you've worked all day?
00:53:42Not me.
00:53:44You.
00:53:44You'll end up taking care of the baby.
00:53:46So you better convince her to keep her legs crossed until she's out of this house.
00:53:49Wait, how is this my problem?
00:53:50She's your trampy niece.
00:53:52Because if she gets pregnant, I'll be in prison for killing what's buried underneath the porch.
00:53:56Mrs. D!
00:54:03Robin!
00:54:04I hope you don't mind me just showing up, but I thought about what you said and you were right.
00:54:08It's never too late to change your life, so I quit double D's.
00:54:11You did?
00:54:13I was pretty scared at first, but now I think it's the best thing I ever did.
00:54:16Well, that's great.
00:54:18I never would have had the guts without talking to you.
00:54:21You're like my role model.
00:54:22Really?
00:54:22That's sweet.
00:54:25My old role model was Candy down at the club, but she OD'd.
00:54:28Well, I will try to do Candy proud.
00:54:33Good for you, Robin.
00:54:35I know change takes a lot of courage.
00:54:37Oh, it sure does.
00:54:40So what do I do now?
00:54:42Huh?
00:54:43You know, what's my next move?
00:54:46Where do I work now?
00:54:48I'm sorry, you quit without having anything else lined up?
00:54:51I know it was a little hasty, but you said I could do whatever I wanted.
00:54:55You sounded so sure, you're still sure, right?
00:54:57Yes, yes, I'm very sure.
00:54:59The world is your oyster.
00:55:02You have saved up, right?
00:55:06Wait, she stripped for nine years and didn't put anything away?
00:55:10Apparently there was a boob job and a bad relationship and the rising cost of glitter.
00:55:14I have to find a way to help her.
00:55:16And why is this your responsibility?
00:55:17Because I'm the one that told her to quit.
00:55:20I didn't think she'd listen.
00:55:22No one listens to me.
00:55:24I keep telling you how much I hate that shirt, and there it is.
00:55:28Okay, we'll help her.
00:55:29What do you have in mind?
00:55:30We need to find her a job.
00:55:32Well, what can she do?
00:55:33Does she have any skills that don't involve picking up a dollar without using her hands?
00:55:37Why are you so sad?
00:55:45Well, MJ, I need a job and I don't have any skills.
00:55:50You're so pretty, you could be a princess.
00:55:54Oh, look, MJ is so smitten with her.
00:56:00He's a guy.
00:56:03And she's good with kids.
00:56:07That's it?
00:56:10They've been looking for an assistant or a teacher down at the school.
00:56:13She said she always wanted to do something like that.
00:56:15Well, you think she can handle it?
00:56:17We glue macaroni to shoeboxes.
00:56:19It's not the hardest job in the world.
00:56:21Now, see, how come when I say that, you give me that look?
00:56:26And there it is again.
00:56:28Thanks for cheering me up, MJ.
00:56:30You're so sweet.
00:56:30You can give me a bath if you want to.
00:56:43Roy!
00:56:44Uh, jeez, you scared the crap out of me.
00:56:47Where's Orson?
00:56:48You're supposed to be watching him.
00:56:50Don't worry.
00:56:50I stuck him in the laundry room and put a broom through his spokes.
00:56:54Hello, Brie.
00:57:00Can we please cross Roy off the suicide watch list?
00:57:05Hey, you're alive.
00:57:06My job's done here.
00:57:09Where have you been?
00:57:10You were supposed to be back an hour ago.
00:57:11I'm sorry, but I had to stop and pick up our guests.
00:57:15What guests?
00:57:20Orson, Meat, Chris, Ron.
00:57:23Now, I know you won't listen to me, but you might listen to them, since you have something in common.
00:57:27Really?
00:57:28Are you Gilbert and Sullivan fans, too?
00:57:30Yeah, sense of humor.
00:57:32That's very important.
00:57:33Now, I know you think there's no reason to go on living because you're paralyzed.
00:57:36So you thought, hey, you know what might cheer him up?
00:57:39Two more paralyzed guys.
00:57:40Please, just hear them out.
00:57:43Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to make some tea.
00:57:47So your wife tells us you're in a pretty negative place.
00:57:50Well, that's to be expected, but eventually...
00:57:51I know you mean well, but I don't need a handicapped pep talk.
00:57:55Hey, we're not handicapped.
00:57:56We're handicapable.
00:57:59Oh, Lord.
00:58:00We play basketball, dance, we make love.
00:58:03And I hope you're very happy together.
00:58:05I, unfortunately, don't have someone to join me on this journey.
00:58:08You have a wife who clearly loves you.
00:58:10Wow.
00:58:11Paralyzed and blind.
00:58:12You must always be the first one to board the plane.
00:58:16Look, we know what you're going through.
00:58:18A lot of us feel unloved after something like this happens.
00:58:21No, you don't understand.
00:58:22My wife stays with me solely out of obligation.
00:58:25Orson, how could you say such a thing?
00:58:29It's true, isn't it?
00:58:31You feel guilty because, you know, I never would have been hit by that plane if I hadn't gotten in a fist fight with your lover.
00:58:35This is the thanks I get.
00:58:38I have bent over backwards to make your life easier.
00:58:40Why should I just let you hang yourself?
00:58:43Hey, don't we have a basketball game here, too?
00:58:46Can you be honest for one moment?
00:58:48You don't love me.
00:58:49Yeah, we should go.
00:58:51Please stay.
00:58:51I've made tea.
00:58:52See?
00:58:53You can't deny it.
00:58:55Go ahead, Brie.
00:58:56Correct me.
00:58:56Say you love me.
00:59:01I...
00:59:02care very deeply for you.
00:59:11That's what I thought.
00:59:18I'm feeling a little upset right now.
00:59:20Would you mind rolling yourselves out?
00:59:23Oh, no, let me ask you something.
00:59:29Are you happy?
00:59:31Why?
00:59:32Well, Carlos and I want you to be happy.
00:59:35Over the last few months, we've come to think of you as our own daughter.
00:59:38Really?
00:59:39In fact, your uncle thinks it's about time you and I had that little talk about the birds and the bees.
00:59:45Oh, God.
00:59:47That's how I feel, so we're not going to be doing that.
00:59:50Okay.
00:59:51Instead, I'm going to write you a check.
00:59:53A check?
00:59:54A check big enough to cover one whole year of modeling school and to rent a decent-sized apartment in New York.
01:00:02Okay, what's the catch?
01:00:03That's so cute that you think there's a catch.
01:00:06This isn't signed.
01:00:07That's the catch.
01:00:09I will sign it once you graduate high school without having had sex.
01:00:12Or more sex, as the case may be.
01:00:14Are you serious?
01:00:17Anna, I could talk to you about morality or saving yourself from marriage or statistics about STDs, but I think you're the kind of girl who responds to cold, hard cash.
01:00:27You know me well.
01:00:31So do we have a deal?
01:00:32Are you going to be a successful model with a nice apartment or a teenage mom with no future?
01:00:38Well, when you put it like that.
01:00:42Good girl.
01:00:45Oh, and to answer your earlier question, I'm now very happy.
01:00:49I can't believe Anna, that you talked me into this.
01:00:56Three hours of Shakespeare for a woman who has to pee every 20 minutes.
01:01:01Come on.
01:01:01Dr. Cramp's been so supportive of us.
01:01:02Can't we be supportive of her?
01:01:04This isn't about support.
01:01:06This is about little Tommy, teacher's pet running a gold star for black kissing.
01:01:12That's not true.
01:01:14Ah.
01:01:17Nay, but this dotage of our...
01:01:20Please.
01:01:21You brought her a $40 box of chocolates.
01:01:25Last Mother's Day, you threw me a bagel and called it breakfast in bed.
01:01:29Admit it.
01:01:30You just have a problem with her because you hate it when someone points out your flaws.
01:01:34That's not true.
01:01:35I can take constructive criticism just fine.
01:01:38You're being...
01:01:40Sorry.
01:01:42See, I can take constructive criticism.
01:01:44You're still talking.
01:01:45You're still annoying.
01:01:46Relax.
01:01:47Shh.
01:01:48She's making her entrance.
01:01:49Oh.
01:01:51Breaks me to something.
01:01:55Nay, hear them, Anthony.
01:02:01Flew me up a chance as angry.
01:02:03Or, who knows?
01:02:07If the beard...
01:02:08If the scarce-bearded Caesar hath not sent you his powerful mandate, do this or this.
01:02:19Take in that kingdom and enfranchise that.
01:02:23Performed.
01:02:23Or else we'd harm thee.
01:02:25Hey, how was the play?
01:02:36Lincoln.
01:02:38Had a better time at the theater.
01:02:40Really?
01:02:41So, how bad was it?
01:02:42Remember how horrible your second-grade Arbor Day play was?
01:02:45But at least we were drunk for that.
01:02:47Hmm.
01:02:48Honestly, how did Dr. Graham get that part?
01:02:51Is she sleeping with the director?
01:02:52Sleeping with bathing, donating a kidney, it's still not enough.
01:02:57I just hope that I can erase this from my memory before our next session.
01:03:02Are you kidding?
01:03:03We're not seeing her again.
01:03:05Why not?
01:03:06We're not going to continue to take life lessons from a woman who burped during her death scene.
01:03:11That has nothing to do with her skills as a therapist.
01:03:15Really?
01:03:15Did she not tell you she has a gift for acting?
01:03:19Yeah.
01:03:19Well, I can't trust the judgment of someone with absolutely no self-awareness.
01:03:23We're not going back.
01:03:24This is an excuse.
01:03:26You have been looking for a reason to dump her ever since our last session.
01:03:29Tom, I learned two things tonight.
01:03:31Dr. Graham has no insight into real human behavior.
01:03:34And there are 428 tiles on the ceiling of that theater.
01:03:38Say what you want.
01:03:39We are going to our next session.
01:03:41And, by the way, it was 429.
01:03:55Morning.
01:03:58Robin Gallagher, teaching assistant, reporting for duty.
01:04:01Hey, look at you.
01:04:02I wanted to look professional.
01:04:04Do you like the glasses?
01:04:05I don't even need them.
01:04:06You look great.
01:04:07It's a beautiful suit.
01:04:09Thanks.
01:04:10It is so nice to wear work clothes that don't rip away to reveal crotchless panties.
01:04:14Yeah, you're preaching to the choir.
01:04:17So, um, I'm just going to get the kids started painting.
01:04:19And why don't you hang those globes that we made last week?
01:04:22Okay.
01:04:26Um, can I say something?
01:04:31You really took a chance on me.
01:04:33No one's ever done that for me before, so thank you.
01:04:37You're welcome.
01:04:38I'm really glad you're here.
01:04:42Oh, hey, careful.
01:04:43Never let the kids see you cry.
01:04:45They sense weakness.
01:04:46You're done.
01:04:49Sorry we're late.
01:04:50Forgot his backpack.
01:04:51Oh, that's okay, Mr. Linwood.
01:04:52Come on, Kyle.
01:04:52Let's get you painting.
01:04:56Who's that?
01:04:58Oh, that's my new teaching assistant, Ms. Gallagher.
01:05:00No, Bobby, that's not how we'd use pipe cleaners.
01:05:03I'm sorry.
01:05:07Do we know each other?
01:05:09Oh, I don't think so.
01:05:11Are you sure?
01:05:12You look so familiar.
01:05:13I guess I just have one of those faces.
01:05:15What did you want to see me about, Principal Hobson?
01:05:25You are aware, aren't you, that as a private school, we depend on the financial support of our more affluent parent donors.
01:05:33I am aware of that.
01:05:36Good.
01:05:37Because I just got a call from Kyle Linwood's father, a major donor.
01:05:44Is it true that your assistant can break a five by shaking out her underwear?
01:05:48I don't want to take a bath.
01:05:58That's too bad.
01:05:59It's time to give the earth back some of its dirt.
01:06:02Go.
01:06:04Hey, I'm going to be upstairs for a bit.
01:06:06What are you guys up to tonight?
01:06:07We're just going to stay home and study.
01:06:10Good girl.
01:06:10Good girl.
01:06:18Why are you getting me all worked up?
01:06:22I thought you made your aunt a promise.
01:06:23I promised her I wouldn't have sex.
01:06:26I didn't promise you wouldn't.
01:06:43Fine, I'll sort it myself!
01:06:48Okay, don't freak out, okay?
01:07:16What the hell are you doing?
01:07:18Hey, I'm sorry.
01:07:19This won't happen anymore.
01:07:20Uncle Carlson, it's no big deal!
01:07:21You think you can come into my house and do this?
01:07:24Answer me!
01:07:24No!
01:07:27Answer me!
01:07:28Answer me!
01:07:29Answer me!
01:07:31I catch you.
01:07:32You're broken.
01:07:33I will kick your ass.
01:07:34Let go of him!
01:07:37You know what I taught your son doing in my house?
01:07:38I don't care!
01:07:39Ghost, what is going on?
01:07:40I said let go!
01:07:43Oh, yes!
01:07:44Angie, what the hell?
01:07:45Wait for me outside.
01:07:48Ma, please don't.
01:07:49Outside!
01:07:58Look, I came in and found him on top of her.
01:08:01I don't care.
01:08:02He's my kid.
01:08:03You ever touch him again, you're dead.
01:08:04Hey, Bolin!
01:08:14I see you tried to separate my glass and plastic.
01:08:22Suck it, Earth!
01:08:23Come on, Mom, let's go.
01:08:34Come on, Mom, let's go.
01:08:34So, maybe you shouldn't just think about what you want to say, but about how you say it,
01:08:47so Tom can hear you.
01:08:48That's a theory.
01:08:56Is something bothering you, Lynette?
01:08:59It's the pregnancy.
01:09:00This morning, she got mad at me over the way I drank my orange juice.
01:09:05Is that all?
01:09:06You know you're in a safe place here.
01:09:08We can tell each other anything.
01:09:09Okay.
01:09:14Okay.
01:09:16Since this is a safe place, Tom and I saw your play the other night.
01:09:22You did?
01:09:23Well, why didn't you come backstage and say hello?
01:09:25Well, the truth is I didn't know what to say because I didn't really like it.
01:09:33I know.
01:09:36Our Anthony was dreadful.
01:09:38You weren't the only one who thought so.
01:09:40No, actually, I was talking about you.
01:09:43You were really not very good, and now I've sort of lost confidence in you as a therapist.
01:09:51Oh.
01:09:53Okay.
01:09:55Do you want to elaborate?
01:09:57No, I think I said what I needed to say.
01:10:01Uh-huh.
01:10:03See, this is the same thing in your marriage.
01:10:05You criticize Tom, but you won't be specific.
01:10:07It's sort of the coward's way out.
01:10:12Coward.
01:10:15Okay.
01:10:17You sucked.
01:10:17You were really, really bad.
01:10:20Three words.
01:10:21Stink.
01:10:22Stank.
01:10:23Stunk.
01:10:24Specific enough?
01:10:25Good for you, Lynette.
01:10:31I commend you for your honesty.
01:10:36Although the Fairview Herald had a different take, they found my Cleopatra incandescent.
01:10:42Oh, my God.
01:10:44You actually believe that?
01:10:45See, this is why we can't see her anymore.
01:10:48Tom, you haven't weighed in yet.
01:10:50What did you think?
01:10:51I thought you were great?
01:11:00What?
01:11:01Liar.
01:11:02You said you've seen seals playing horns that put on a better show.
01:11:05There's no need to bully him until agreeing with you.
01:11:07I wouldn't have to bully him if you would man up for once.
01:11:11Lynette, you're attacking.
01:11:11Of course, because I'm always the bad cop.
01:11:14He's always the good cop.
01:11:15Could you just once not be such a wuss?
01:11:17Damn right I'm the good cop.
01:11:18Someone has to be.
01:11:20Because bad cop, bad cop doesn't work.
01:11:22I grew up in that house, and it doesn't work.
01:11:25That is not it.
01:11:26You like me being the bad guy.
01:11:28That way you can always be the good guy.
01:11:31But guess what?
01:11:31I'd love to be the good guy once in a while, but I can't.
01:11:34Because when things get hard or a difficult decision has to get made,
01:11:37you run from confrontation.
01:11:40And if I don't step into the void, things grind to a halt.
01:11:43Because I got news for you.
01:11:44Good cop, good cop doesn't work either.
01:11:53You're right.
01:11:57Really?
01:11:59I like to be liked.
01:12:00And because of that, a lot of the ugly stuff I defer to you.
01:12:06And I'm sorry.
01:12:11Your performance was aggressively bad.
01:12:14At one point during the second act, I started to choke on a mitt and thought about not fighting it.
01:12:25Well, this was quite a breakthrough.
01:12:27I'm your right.
01:12:32You're a wonderful therapist.
01:12:35Thank you, Lynette.
01:12:36Now, both of you, get the hell out of my office.
01:12:38So we catch her son on top of our niece and we have to apologize?
01:12:46No, we have to apologize because she almost put her son's head through a wall.
01:12:50When are you going to learn violence is not the answer?
01:12:52I shouldn't have to tell you this.
01:12:58You know better.
01:12:59We've been working for 19 years.
01:13:00You're smarter than this.
01:13:02This is not the first time we've had this conversation.
01:13:03I feel like I'm talking to a wall.
01:13:05You know what?
01:13:05What is going on in here?
01:13:08I have what's wrong with you.
01:13:10Oh, God.
01:13:11He's ripping Danny a new one.
01:13:13Yeah, but Danny, you're okay.
01:13:14Just leave me alone.
01:13:16No, no, no, no.
01:13:17Hey, you are getting sloppy.
01:13:19We should go.
01:13:20Yeah, we should.
01:13:21First you get into it, a crazy thing about we're recycling, which I told you not to do.
01:13:26Then guess what?
01:13:26She's thinking about suing us.
01:13:28Okay, I won't think so.
01:13:30Well, get it back.
01:13:31Because this rock we are hiding under is not that big.
01:13:34And if people start poking around, we're done.
01:13:41And then bam, he fires her for something she used to do.
01:13:45It's so hypocritical.
01:13:46I mean, why not get mad at the kid's father?
01:13:49He obviously goes to Double D's.
01:13:53I just hope I didn't get you into any trouble, Mrs. D.
01:13:55I feel awful.
01:13:56No, no, no.
01:13:56This is not your fault.
01:13:58When I'm sad, my mom gives me a big hug.
01:14:01Down, Tiger.
01:14:03What am I going to do?
01:14:04I have no money for rent.
01:14:05I'm just going to end up homeless.
01:14:07Maybe I should go and beg for my old job back.
01:14:10No, no, no.
01:14:10You can't do that.
01:14:11Quitting that place took a lot of guts.
01:14:13How do you feel about letting her move in here?
01:14:20Julie's gone.
01:14:22We have her empty room.
01:14:23It's just until she gets on her feet.
01:14:25You're asking if I'm okay with letting a stripper live with us.
01:14:27I'm going to go with no.
01:14:28Why not?
01:14:29I have no idea.
01:14:30I'm just really sure this is a trick question.
01:14:31She's a nice girl and she's in trouble.
01:14:33You know, I think of myself as a good person who cares about others.
01:14:37And how often do I actually get to walk the walk?
01:14:40This is an opportunity to really help someone.
01:14:43I want to do it.
01:14:48Okay.
01:14:49Okay, let's go make an ex-stripper and a little boy very happy.
01:14:58What's this for?
01:14:59The Lackey's 50th anniversary party, don't you remember?
01:15:03I'm sorry.
01:15:04I thought I'd be dead by now,
01:15:05so I wasn't paying much attention to our social calendar.
01:15:08Well, regardless, you're going.
01:15:10And if you're still around next Saturday,
01:15:11we've got brunch with my family.
01:15:14Well, now you're just daring me.
01:15:22Orson, Walter is about to make a toast.
01:15:26Don't you want to hear it?
01:15:27A speech about the joys of wedded bliss?
01:15:31Pass.
01:15:35Walter and Shirley are about to dance to a song that was played at their wedding.
01:15:43But before they do, Walter would like to say a few words.
01:15:47I want to thank you all for coming.
01:15:49Fifty years hardly seems possible.
01:15:53Now, I'm not going to lie to you and say it's always been easy.
01:15:57I mean, we've had our share of tragedy,
01:15:59and we've said a few things we wish we could take back.
01:16:02But for the most part, we've been lucky.
01:16:05Because no matter how old we get,
01:16:07we've always been able to remember what made us fall in love in the first place.
01:16:11Right, hon?
01:16:12I love you
01:16:20For sentimental reasons
01:16:26I hope you do believe me
01:16:33I'll give you my heart
01:16:39Arson!
01:16:52Arson!
01:16:53You stopped me to dare throw yourself in that pool!
01:16:57I want to die.
01:16:58Why can't you let me?
01:17:00Because I want things, too.
01:17:02I want a party like this someday to celebrate our life together.
01:17:05What is there about our life to celebrate?
01:17:08Look at Walter and Shirley in there.
01:17:10I was watching them dance with such passion in their eyes.
01:17:13But I know they haven't always been like that.
01:17:14They've had their rough times, too.
01:17:16But they stuck it out.
01:17:17Because they're in love.
01:17:19I asked you if you loved me, and you couldn't answer.
01:17:24Fine.
01:17:25I'll answer you now.
01:17:28I loved you once.
01:17:29Can I love you again?
01:17:33I don't know.
01:17:36But I would like to recapture what we once had.
01:17:44I mean, how can we do that if you're not here?
01:17:48So, I'm asking you.
01:17:53Please stay.
01:17:54In this never-ending drama we call life, everyone has a part to play.
01:18:20Some are cast as romantic leads.
01:18:28Others end up being the victim.
01:18:30And a few always provide comic relief.
01:18:38And then, there are those who end up playing the hero.
01:18:41Especially if they feel there's a villain who lives just across the street.
01:18:52We'll see you next time.
01:19:13All right.