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  • 6/18/2025
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00:00:00Desperate Housewives
00:00:30Once you accept the truth
00:00:32You discover that you're capable
00:00:34Let's just get out of here
00:00:36Of accomplishing
00:00:38I'd like to admit myself for psychiatric observation
00:00:40I'm about to have a nervous breakdown
00:00:42Almost anything
00:00:44It's a fact of life in every neighborhood
00:00:48People move in and people move out
00:00:50Although very few of them pack up and leave
00:00:54At 2 o'clock in the morning
00:00:56But it wasn't the first time that Betty Applewhite
00:01:00Had tried to leave in the middle of the night
00:01:02It had happened once before
00:01:04In Chicago
00:01:06The same night
00:01:08One of her sons tried to break up
00:01:10With his girlfriend
00:01:12A young woman
00:01:14Named Melanie Foster
00:01:16Are you kidding?
00:01:18You cannot dump me
00:01:20I do not get dumped
00:01:22If anyone is getting dumped here, it's you
00:01:24I just want out
00:01:26Okay
00:01:28Maybe I am a bitch sometimes
00:01:30But there are advantages to dating someone like me
00:01:33And I know that you know what I'm talking about
00:01:36Melanie, my mother is in the other room
00:01:38Are you crazy?
00:01:40Clearly we can't have a serious discussion here
00:01:44Why don't you meet me at the lumberyard at 9?
00:01:46Melanie
00:01:48It's over
00:01:49Well even more reason for you to show up
00:01:51No one can say goodbye better than I do
00:01:55Well it's about time
00:01:56Caleb?
00:01:58What are you doing here?
00:01:59Where's Matthew?
00:02:00Well, it's about time.
00:02:22Caleb, what are you doing here?
00:02:24Where's Matthew?
00:02:24I got here first.
00:02:26I know a shortcut.
00:02:27Does Matthew know that you're here?
00:02:30No.
00:02:32He doesn't want to be with you anymore.
00:02:35Does that have to do with you?
00:02:37See, I thought maybe I could be your boyfriend now.
00:02:43What?
00:02:46I love you.
00:02:48Oh, God, please tell me someone put you up to this, no?
00:02:51Because if you're serious, it's too pathetic.
00:02:57God, what the hell are you doing?
00:03:00What?
00:03:00Get off of me!
00:03:03Get off of me!
00:03:04Ah!
00:03:09Ah!
00:03:09Billy?
00:03:21Yes, a year had come and gone
00:03:50since the Applewhites had left Chicago.
00:03:53And Betty thought they could again slip away
00:03:56in the middle of the night.
00:03:58Once we move, how's Maddie gonna find us?
00:04:02Caleb, I think it's just gonna be you and me from now on.
00:04:09Up! Your hands!
00:04:11Your hands up!
00:04:12But as she soon discovered,
00:04:15it's not that easy to slip away in the suburbs.
00:04:18Because in suburbia,
00:04:21once the neighbors hear you're going,
00:04:23they all insist on showing up
00:04:26to say goodbye.
00:04:28Goodbye.
00:04:28Goodbye.
00:04:28Bye-bye.
00:04:37Bye-bye.
00:04:39Bye-bye.
00:04:41Bye-bye.
00:04:57Bye-bye.
00:05:01Everyone must choose the road they will take in life.
00:05:19And for a special few, that road would lead to Wisteria Lane.
00:05:24They all arrive the exact same way.
00:05:26Driving up in their overloaded trucks, bringing with them their expensive antiques and ordinary dreams.
00:05:40I remember the first moment I saw each of them.
00:05:44I met Susan Meyer the day she moved to Wisteria Lane.
00:05:49Okay, break time's over.
00:05:51She seemed so delightfully confident, I couldn't help but feel intimidated.
00:05:56Oh!
00:05:57Oh!
00:05:58Oh!
00:06:00That feeling quickly passed.
00:06:03Oh, help!
00:06:05Did anybody hear me?
00:06:07Julie?
00:06:08I need you to try to unlock the door.
00:06:10Oh, what am I saying?
00:06:11She's two.
00:06:12Okay.
00:06:13I need you to unbuckle yourself and try to find a neighbor.
00:06:18But don't cross the street.
00:06:19Just tell the neighbor that your mommy's stuck in a big truck.
00:06:23Oh, yes!
00:06:24Oh, my God!
00:06:25I have a genius baby!
00:06:28Oh, hi.
00:06:29Hi.
00:06:30I have a normal baby.
00:06:32I'm Mary Alice.
00:06:33I live across the street.
00:06:34Susan Meyer, thank you so much.
00:06:37If my husband had to rescue me, oh, I just would have never heard the end of it.
00:06:42He thinks I'm a total klutz.
00:06:42Oh, please.
00:06:43That's what neighbors are for.
00:06:45Well, welcome to Wisteria Lane.
00:06:47When you're finished unpacking, why don't you come over for a cup of coffee?
00:06:52Oh, wow.
00:06:53I have a neighbor who just asked me over for coffee.
00:06:58I'm sorry.
00:06:59You must think I'm a lunatic.
00:07:00No, no, no, I don't.
00:07:02I think you're charming.
00:07:04And your baby looks like a genius to me.
00:07:06Oh, she is.
00:07:08And we're going to be so happy here.
00:07:11Look at your new home!
00:07:13You're not going to walk me into a wall, are you?
00:07:19Of course not.
00:07:20But when you see it for the first time, I want you to get the whole impact.
00:07:25Ta-da!
00:07:28Okay, now I know it's a little more cramped than we're used to, but we can't stay at Bree's forever.
00:07:32She's going to be coming back from the spa vacation soon.
00:07:33Besides, it's going to be fun.
00:07:35Why are you doing this to me?
00:07:37I get good grades.
00:07:38I don't do drugs.
00:07:39I've never come home pregnant.
00:07:40Honey, I'm trying my hardest to stand on my own two feet.
00:07:44I've got six book proposals in the works.
00:07:47I'm going to try to supervise the rebuilding of this house, but you know, I can't do it without your support.
00:07:52And I want you to be proud of me.
00:07:58Fine.
00:08:00Let's take a look inside.
00:08:01Oh, that's my girl.
00:08:04So, is there anything you should prepare me for?
00:08:06No, no.
00:08:07It's all good.
00:08:08But you should know that your bed doubles as the dining table and the toilet's in the shower.
00:08:16Honey, look.
00:08:17I bought us matching golf outfits for our lessons tomorrow.
00:08:20Yeah, about that I can't go.
00:08:21I've got to pick up trash on the freeway.
00:08:23I'm sorry?
00:08:24I have to do my community service.
00:08:25It's part of my parole, remember?
00:08:27Oh, okay.
00:08:28Well, we'll just call the country club and cancel our lessons.
00:08:31No, no, no.
00:08:32I mean, I'm paid already.
00:08:33Might as well go without me.
00:08:34I don't want to go alone.
00:08:35It was your idea in the first place.
00:08:36And I'd love to be there with you, too, if I didn't have to scrape slushies and condoms off Route 57.
00:08:41Look what's the big deal.
00:08:41Just go take this stupid lesson.
00:08:43Fine, if you feel that way about it.
00:08:45I'm sorry.
00:08:46All right, I'm just a little on edge today.
00:08:49Oh, would you look at this crap?
00:08:51He has been doing that all day.
00:08:58Ralph has a little crush, so?
00:09:00So can't I get a gardener who isn't trying to sleep with someone in my house?
00:09:02You pay six bucks an hour.
00:09:05It's all about the perks, honey.
00:09:13Susan, have you talked to one of...
00:09:15Um, no.
00:09:16Have you tried herself?
00:09:18Yeah, she isn't picking up.
00:09:19Do you know where she is?
00:09:20Uh, no, I'm sorry.
00:09:22Susan, I think you do.
00:09:25I really don't, Tom.
00:09:26Is everything okay?
00:09:29Yeah.
00:09:30Yeah, we just had a fight.
00:09:32Listen, if you'd talk to her, would you please ask her to call me?
00:09:46Hello?
00:09:48He was just here.
00:09:50I think you should call him.
00:09:53I can't.
00:09:54I can't.
00:09:55I'm sorry.
00:09:55I just can't.
00:09:56Mom!
00:09:57Yeah, hang on.
00:09:58I'll call you later.
00:10:00Okay, bye.
00:10:01Yeah.
00:10:02Where's Daddy coming?
00:10:03I want to show him I died.
00:10:05He's not coming, sweetheart.
00:10:10But you could show me.
00:10:11Mom!
00:10:20You have to talk to Noah.
00:10:22But he creeps me out.
00:10:23Who cares?
00:10:24This is my life we're talking about.
00:10:26I need a big-time lawyer in my corner, and where else are we going to get that kind of
00:10:29money?
00:10:29The Lord's not going to give me a dime if he knows it's for you, but he hates your guts.
00:10:33Tell him it's for you.
00:10:35Tell him you want a car.
00:10:36Tell him you're ready for him to buy your love.
00:10:38Trust me.
00:10:39Dying men are nothing if not sentimental.
00:10:41Why do you need so much, anyway?
00:10:43And I thought only guilty men needed expensive lawyers.
00:10:46Felicia has obviously been planning this for months.
00:10:48Who knows what other kind of evidence she's planted?
00:10:50With my luck, they'll open up the Martha Hoover murder again, trying to nail me with some
00:10:55DNA.
00:10:55You swore to me that you had nothing to do with that.
00:11:00I didn't.
00:11:03Look, why are we arguing?
00:11:04I'm your father.
00:11:06Do what I'm telling you to do.
00:11:07You're not my real father.
00:11:12You ungrateful.
00:11:14I rescue you from that miserable junkie.
00:11:16I give you a home, a life worth living, and now you're making me beg for one lousy little
00:11:20favor?
00:11:23I need the money, Zach.
00:11:26If you won't do it for me, at least do it for your mother.
00:11:31After all, she killed herself trying to protect you.
00:11:37I met Brie Vandekamp the first day she moved to Wisteria Lane.
00:11:52There are certain people who, when you meet them, can't help but make a delightful first
00:11:57impression.
00:11:58Hello.
00:11:58I'm Brie Vandekamp, your new neighbor.
00:12:00Is this your frog?
00:12:02Brie was not one of them.
00:12:04Yes.
00:12:05Why?
00:12:05Well, it seems that my son stole it from your yard.
00:12:09Oh, well, I don't mind.
00:12:11If he likes it so much, he's welcome to keep it.
00:12:13Well, don't tell him that.
00:12:14If he doesn't feel guilty, he'll never learn shame.
00:12:18Hey, what's going on?
00:12:20Oh, um, this is our new neighbor.
00:12:22It seems her son accidentally took my garden fraud.
00:12:25Please don't make excuses for him.
00:12:27That is exactly what his father does.
00:12:29Rex!
00:12:29Rex!
00:12:29This is my husband, Rex.
00:12:36Hi.
00:12:36We're not weird.
00:12:37We just seem like we are.
00:12:39And this is my son.
00:12:41The criminal.
00:12:44Go on.
00:12:47I'm sorry I stole from you.
00:12:48Just so you know, my mom did teach me right from wrong.
00:12:52So my actions should in no way influence your opinion of her as a parent.
00:12:59Wow.
00:13:00What was there, anything you'd like to say to my son?
00:13:02Feel free to be harsh.
00:13:06No, I'm good.
00:13:08Well, now that we've finished with all this unpleasantness, I want to assure you that we
00:13:14are going to be good neighbors, and I hope in time, great friends.
00:13:18That sounds lovely.
00:13:23Oh, wait, I'm sorry.
00:13:25It was Rex, Andrew, and what was your name again?
00:13:28Bree?
00:13:31What?
00:13:32You're Bree Vandicamp, right?
00:13:34Do I know you?
00:13:36Orson Hodge.
00:13:36Uh, Susan's dentist friend.
00:13:39We met after her house burned down.
00:13:41Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:13:42I didn't recognize you.
00:13:44Small world, huh?
00:13:45Yes, uh, excruciatingly so.
00:13:48Ah.
00:13:49What are you doing here?
00:13:51Well, three or four times a week I visit my, my friend.
00:13:56Well, what about you?
00:13:58Oh, I just thought it'd be a lovely place to take a nice long rest.
00:14:03Um, listen, I told my friends that I was, um,
00:14:06I was at a spa, so if you run into Susan, I'd-
00:14:09And your secret is safe.
00:14:10And seriously, I am not like these other people.
00:14:14Oh, I can tell.
00:14:16A real lady always stands out in the crowd.
00:14:18Well, that was very sweet.
00:14:22Enjoy your rest.
00:14:23Bree Vandicamp.
00:14:24Boy, do I feel for you.
00:14:33Trying to convince your friends that you're still normal when you're surrounded by a bunch of loons.
00:14:38You too?
00:14:40Oh, please.
00:14:41Dr. Barr goes out of his way to make me feel like a complete psychopath.
00:14:45I think he's crazier than the patients, actually.
00:14:50You know that, um, that woman in the wheelchair?
00:14:53What's her story?
00:14:54Yeah, she's a kooky one.
00:14:57She hasn't spoken a word since she got here.
00:14:58She just sits there all day long waiting for your friend to come and visit.
00:15:01He talks to her for hours, but I don't even think she can hear him.
00:15:04Oh, hi.
00:15:17You said to stop by for coffee sometime.
00:15:20I got coffee.
00:15:21So I can't believe you caught me spraying for ants.
00:15:24I must look like a wreck.
00:15:26Actually, you look kind of sexy.
00:15:28You've got to be kidding.
00:15:30The way you're taking charge, it's impressive.
00:15:32They're just ants, and they're tiny.
00:15:35Of course, they do outnumber me.
00:15:37No, you said you wanted to handle things yourself, and you're making it happen.
00:15:40It's good to see.
00:15:42Thanks.
00:15:44Even if it does mean you're not in the market for a relationship right now.
00:15:48Oh, did I say that?
00:15:51You certainly implied it.
00:15:53Well, sometimes I say things I don't mean.
00:15:57I blame it on my frequent exposure to ant spray.
00:16:00What the hell is this?
00:16:03Carl, what do you want?
00:16:06Well, I can't believe you're forcing our daughter to live in a house with wheels.
00:16:09I think we need to talk about this.
00:16:11Okay, it's temporary.
00:16:12And if you don't mind, I'm having coffee.
00:16:15Oh, it's okay, Susan.
00:16:16Hey, sorry, I don't mean to chase you out, buddy, but this is really a family thing.
00:16:22No.
00:16:22No, I understand.
00:16:24Cool.
00:16:24Cool.
00:16:24I'll call you later.
00:16:41You've got a great swing.
00:16:43You just need a little help around the greens.
00:16:44You know what they say?
00:16:45Dry for show, putt for dough.
00:16:47Am I right?
00:16:48That is so true.
00:16:49All right, I'll see you out there.
00:16:51Okay.
00:16:53Make me something strong.
00:16:54I have nine more holes with that guy.
00:16:57Jim, it was just an hour ago that the road crew working here on Route 57 saw a member of
00:17:02their own killed by oncoming traffic.
00:17:04The victim was a Hispanic male in his early 40s who for years was a prominent businessman
00:17:08in the area.
00:17:09Police aren't releasing a name until the next of kin can be notified.
00:17:12We, of course, will keep you updated on any late-breaking development as this tragic story
00:17:17unfolds, reporting live for Route 57, this is Craig C. Amina, back to you.
00:17:31Mrs. Oniz, are you home?
00:17:37Carlos is dead, shall we?
00:17:39No, please don't kill him.
00:17:41No, you don't understand.
00:17:42He's already dead.
00:17:44There was an accident.
00:17:45He's all over the highway.
00:17:49No.
00:17:51He in kitchen.
00:18:01Hey, babe, why are you home so early?
00:18:03Honey, you're not dead.
00:18:06Who said he was dead?
00:18:08The police.
00:18:09They called me.
00:18:10What are you talking about?
00:18:11Honey, they didn't know all the details, but a witness said that they saw you run into
00:18:14the carpool lane to pick up the lawn chair that had fallen off some truck and then a bus
00:18:18hit you right in front of the road crew.
00:18:20Why aren't you with the road crew?
00:18:21I paid Ralph to go in my place.
00:18:26What?
00:18:27What?
00:18:28Carlos, they had your name.
00:18:29Oh, no.
00:18:31Poor Ralph.
00:18:34Why are you back all sweaty?
00:18:36I was working on the treadmill.
00:18:38A baby foot?
00:18:39For God's sakes, Gabrielle.
00:18:41Ralph just died and you're worried about my feet?
00:18:44I mean, what the hell's wrong with you?
00:18:48Sorry.
00:18:48You must find that very peaceful.
00:19:05Why would you assume that?
00:19:06Because that's all you've been doing for three sessions.
00:19:09I still don't know anything about you, except that you rake in remarkably straight lines.
00:19:14Is that what you're doing, asking me all those ridiculous questions about my childhood trying
00:19:17to get to know me?
00:19:19Well, here's a clue.
00:19:20I'm not crazy.
00:19:21I just have a few issues.
00:19:22And psychotherapy is how we help you deal with those issues.
00:19:26What kind of treatment did you think you were going to get?
00:19:28Honestly, I was hoping that you'd medicate the hell out of me.
00:19:30You don't need anything stronger than what I've already prescribed for you.
00:19:33I have aspirin at home that packs more of a punch.
00:19:36It says here, your husband died, you had a boyfriend who killed himself, and you suffer
00:19:41from alcoholism.
00:19:43That's a lot of trauma for one year.
00:19:47What about your kids?
00:19:50Well, they're fine.
00:19:53Andrew is backpacking through Europe, and Danielle is away at cheerleading camp.
00:19:58What's your relationship with them like?
00:20:02What do you mean?
00:20:03Are you close?
00:20:05Do they share things with you?
00:20:08What do you feel about them?
00:20:12You know, I really don't have time for this nonsense.
00:20:14Are you going to give me some serious drugs or not?
00:20:18No.
00:20:19Fine.
00:20:19Then I'm going back to my room.
00:20:20No, Brie, I can't force you to open up to me.
00:20:23But I can make it easier for you to focus on your problems.
00:20:26And how are you going to do that?
00:20:28I'm going to tell the orderlies to confiscate all your personal items.
00:20:31I committed myself voluntarily.
00:20:34When you signed those papers, I became responsible for your well-being.
00:20:38And I will help you in any way I see fit.
00:20:40I don't need that much help because I am not like your other patients.
00:20:43Oh, sure you are.
00:20:44You just don't know it yet.
00:20:57Your son confessed to the murder.
00:20:59We've got it on tape.
00:21:00My son has the mind of a child, Detective.
00:21:03He confessed to sinking the Titanic.
00:21:05This letter was sent some months ago to the Chicago police, saying the person they arrested
00:21:12for the Melanie Foster murder was innocent.
00:21:15We have a hunch you wrote it.
00:21:16Really?
00:21:17I didn't know hunches were considered evidence in a court of law.
00:21:21They aren't.
00:21:25But this is.
00:21:26We found some of the assailant's DNA on this jacket.
00:21:32Now what we need is a matching sample.
00:21:35You by any chance recognize the jacket?
00:21:40It's not Caleb's.
00:21:43You can try and deny it, but...
00:21:46No.
00:21:48You don't understand.
00:21:49That jacket belongs to my other son.
00:21:55And out of nowhere, he just attacked me.
00:22:22My brother's never been violent.
00:22:25I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you.
00:22:26But he did.
00:22:30Let me just take you home.
00:22:37This has been pretty traumatic for me.
00:22:40I think that you should come over for the next few days so we can talk it out.
00:22:43We broke up, Mel.
00:22:44It is not my job to hold your hand.
00:22:49Well, maybe I shouldn't go home right away.
00:22:52Maybe I should go to the cops first.
00:22:55The cops?
00:22:56I was attacked.
00:22:59It's my civic duty to report it.
00:23:01Don't you think?
00:23:01Mel, I just told you that Caleb did not mean to do what he did.
00:23:04Okay?
00:23:05Melanie, please.
00:23:06Excuse me.
00:23:07You.
00:23:07No, you cannot tell anybody about this.
00:23:09I can tell who I want.
00:23:10Get your hands off of me.
00:23:11We're talking about my brother here.
00:23:12Your brother is going to go to jail for the next 10 years.
00:23:15So I say let go.
00:23:17Hey, Melvin!
00:23:21What?
00:23:24You leave my family alone!
00:23:26To be very sure it needs to be killed.
00:23:34Oh.
00:23:39Oh.
00:23:44He's off.
00:23:45Oh.
00:23:46Oh.
00:23:47Oh.
00:23:47Oh!
00:23:48Oh.
00:23:48Oh!
00:23:48Oh!
00:23:49Oh!
00:23:50Oh!
00:23:51Oh!
00:23:51Oh!
00:23:52Oh!
00:23:53Oh!
00:23:54Oh!
00:23:54Oh!
00:23:55Oh!
00:23:55Oh!
00:23:55We all met Lynette Scavo the day she moved on to Wisteria Lane.
00:24:07We quickly decided she would be our friend,
00:24:10mostly because we were afraid to have her as an enemy.
00:24:19Hi.
00:24:20Hi.
00:24:21We just wanted to come welcome you to the neighborhood.
00:24:23Um, but we could come back later.
00:24:27No, wait. Actually, wait. This is perfect. You know why?
00:24:29Because we need some impartial judges.
00:24:31Lynette?
00:24:32Let's suppose your husband begged you to get pregnant.
00:24:34Begged you, and out of the goodness of your heart, you agreed.
00:24:37Even though it might derail your career, you agreed to a baby.
00:24:40A baby. Singular.
00:24:41Lynette, we just met these people.
00:24:43Then, then you go in for an ultrasound and you hear two heartbeats.
00:24:46Then, and only then, does your husband tell you that twins run in his family.
00:24:50I didn't think it was that big a deal.
00:24:52Your family had eight sets of twins over three generations,
00:24:55not to mention your relatives in Kentucky with triplets.
00:24:58Triplets.
00:24:58So, I ask you, do I not deserve to punish this man severely?
00:25:03Well, actually, I think that twins are genetically determined by the mother.
00:25:08What are you, a scientist?
00:25:09No. No, I write children's books.
00:25:13Um, we, uh, just came over to introduce ourselves, but we can, um, do that at another time.
00:25:18No, no, wait. Please stay. It's okay. We're okay. We're okay, right?
00:25:22Hey, don't want to freak out the new neighbors.
00:25:24Hey.
00:25:24I'm sorry that you saw my panic attack. I won't let it happen again, especially since this is my last pregnancy.
00:25:33Right. You're the boss. I'm just your love slave.
00:25:36Oh.
00:25:38Well, don't encourage them.
00:25:40Honey, clearly our new neighbors consents that you have been gifted with a phenomenal husband.
00:25:46Hey, let's go! Let's go!
00:25:48Guys, could you come here for a second? We need to have a serious talk.
00:25:58Okay, we have had a great vacation, but tomorrow we're going home.
00:26:05Except we're not going to our home. We're going to go stay with Grandma.
00:26:12Is Dad going to be there?
00:26:13No, Dad is not going to be there, but he, he is going to come and see you guys all the time.
00:26:22We are still going to be a family.
00:26:24It's just...
00:26:26We won't be living in the same place anymore.
00:26:34So...
00:26:35Is there any questions you want to ask me?
00:26:38Can we go swimming now?
00:26:46Yeah!
00:26:48Janice, go!
00:26:50Mike, what a surprise.
00:27:12Yeah.
00:27:13How's it going?
00:27:14Good, good.
00:27:16Just came in to get a new battery for my watch.
00:27:20So, what you doing?
00:27:23Just buying something for my grandma.
00:27:25It's her 90th birthday.
00:27:27Here we go.
00:27:28This will sweep her right off her feet.
00:27:30It's elegant, and she can build on it for anniversaries.
00:27:34Lucky grandma.
00:27:37You dog.
00:27:38You're going to ask Susan to marry you, aren't you?
00:27:40I didn't say that.
00:27:41I'm cool.
00:27:41As far as I'm concerned, Susan's old news, so...
00:27:45I don't suppose there's any hope of you keeping your mouth shut about this, is there?
00:27:50I wanted to surprise her.
00:27:51Oh, trust me, brother.
00:27:52She'll be surprised.
00:27:53And not just by how small that rock is.
00:28:03Look, I know it's an expensive car, but I need one.
00:28:06So, can I get the money?
00:28:10You're a lousy liar, kid.
00:28:12I read the papers.
00:28:13I know what happened to your father.
00:28:16My guess is he's in the market for a fancy lawyer to get him some rich man's justice.
00:28:23Please.
00:28:24Paul Young put Deirdre in a box.
00:28:28My daughter.
00:28:29Your mother.
00:28:29So, we're clear.
00:28:33I don't write checks to monsters.
00:28:36Why can't you just give me the money?
00:28:39You're dying.
00:28:39You don't need it.
00:28:40I do.
00:28:41Don't cry, Zach.
00:28:42It pisses me off.
00:28:44Well, you said all of this was going to be mine, so when do I get it?
00:28:49Empire's a highfalutin' word, but that's what I've built.
00:28:52Unfortunately, an empire can only be ruled by an iron fist and a strong gut.
00:29:03I wanted to give it to you, Zach, but I'm starting to have my doubts about you.
00:29:10So what?
00:29:13Are you cutting me off?
00:29:16I don't have any use for weakness.
00:29:20Get out.
00:29:21I don't have any use for weakness.
00:29:51What, are you going to kill me?
00:30:05Prove you're a tough guy?
00:30:11See, that's why I can't give you the keys to the kingdom, kid.
00:30:17No balls.
00:30:18No balls.
00:30:21No balls.
00:30:23No balls.
00:30:23No balls.
00:30:44No balls.
00:30:45We met Gabrielle Solis the day she moved to Wisteria Lane.
00:30:59We were all excited to get a glimpse of a successful New York model.
00:31:05Hello?
00:31:07We saw more.
00:31:09Hi there!
00:31:10Than we bargained for.
00:31:15I'm Mary Alice. This is Susan, Lynette, and Brie.
00:31:19Welcome to the neighborhood.
00:31:21Well, I am Gabrielle Solis.
00:31:23Would it be better if we came back at another time?
00:31:26Oh, no, no. I was just changing out of my sweaty clothes.
00:31:30I didn't realize moving was such great cardio.
00:31:34Hey, babe, we haven't tried it in the kitchen yet.
00:31:40Honey, uh, I think it's time to unpack the pants.
00:31:43Right.
00:31:45It's nice to meet you, ladies.
00:31:50Let me guess. Newlyweds?
00:31:52Four months.
00:31:54And I've been dressed like this for two of them.
00:31:57He's insatiable.
00:32:10Hey, what are you doing?
00:32:11Trying to have sex with you.
00:32:13Now? Babe, it's kind of late.
00:32:17You don't want to have sex with me?
00:32:19You always want to have sex with me.
00:32:21You wanted to have sex with me an hour after your hernia operation.
00:32:24I'm a little preoccupied.
00:32:26A good man died today.
00:32:29Don't take it personally.
00:32:30Xiaomé said the strangest thing to me.
00:32:44When I told her you were dead, she said, please, don't kill him.
00:32:47Poor kid.
00:32:51Oh, I really need to get her some English lessons.
00:32:56Julie, what are you doing?
00:33:09I'm trying to sleep.
00:33:11Morning, ladies.
00:33:12Carl!
00:33:13What are you doing?
00:33:15I've got a little surprise planned for my girls.
00:33:17So just sit back and relax.
00:33:19We'll be there shortly.
00:33:20No, no, no, no, no.
00:33:26Turn my house around.
00:33:29Latte?
00:33:36How's it right, ladies?
00:33:37My gift to you.
00:33:44You bought us a house?
00:33:46Let's have a look around.
00:33:47There's three bedrooms, a gourmet kitchen, for what it's worth.
00:33:51There's a guest house in the back that you could use as a studio.
00:33:54There's a pool.
00:33:55A pool?
00:33:55Really?
00:33:58What's the catch?
00:34:00There's no catch.
00:34:01It's yours, Susie.
00:34:02Yours and Julie's.
00:34:03No strings attached.
00:34:04I can't accept this.
00:34:08I just, I gotta get out of this mess on my own.
00:34:10This is not charity.
00:34:12I owe you.
00:34:14For everything I've done over the years, all the heartache I've inflicted on you.
00:34:20Consider it payback.
00:34:22Mom!
00:34:24There's a pool and a jacuzzi.
00:34:26At least no one can drive off with it while you're sleeping.
00:34:29Huh?
00:34:29Hey, it's Susan.
00:34:35Just wanted you to know I left the electrician in your house.
00:34:37I hope you're having a great time at the spa.
00:34:42Bree.
00:34:43Hi, it's Betty.
00:34:44I'm sorry to leave this on machine, but the police have evidence that implicates Matthew
00:34:49in the murder of Melanie Foster.
00:34:51We have to find them, Bree.
00:34:52We have to find them and get Danielle back.
00:34:54You let go of me right now.
00:35:01Hey, hey!
00:35:02What's going on here?
00:35:03I am trying to leave and these morons won't let me.
00:35:06Do you know that you can be arrested for kidnapping, for detaining someone?
00:35:09Why do you need to leave?
00:35:10Because my daughter is in danger.
00:35:12Something happened at cheerleading camp.
00:35:14Okay, there's no camp.
00:35:14That was a fib on my part.
00:35:16I found out that she ran away with a boy and the boy is a murderer.
00:35:19A murderer?
00:35:20I can tell by your tone that you don't believe me.
00:35:23Bree, let's talk about this in my office.
00:35:25I don't have time for therapy, you quack!
00:35:27Now let me out of here!
00:35:29Let go of me!
00:35:30You idiot!
00:35:30Let go of me!
00:35:31You know that I committed myself voluntarily.
00:35:34You can't do this to me!
00:35:35No!
00:35:35Bree, please, don't struggle.
00:35:41If anything happens to my daughter, so help me God.
00:35:45We're only trying to help.
00:35:47Mr. Young, you'll need to come up to the house to sign some legal documents.
00:36:07What for?
00:36:08Noah Taylor's will called for an immediate transference of his entire estate to you upon his death.
00:36:13So everything's mine?
00:36:19It's correct.
00:36:27Hi, Dad.
00:36:28So, did you have any luck with your grandfather?
00:36:30Yeah, I talked to Noah.
00:36:32He's not going to give us the money.
00:36:33Damn it, Zach.
00:36:34Sorry?
00:36:35Go back and talk to him.
00:36:36No, I don't think he's going to change his mind.
00:36:39Terrific.
00:36:40Am I going to see you tomorrow?
00:36:41No, I can't come tomorrow.
00:36:43What about Monday?
00:36:44Next week's bad for me, too.
00:36:45I'll call you when I know.
00:36:47Zach.
00:36:48Zach!
00:36:50Is there anything I can do?
00:36:52Give me a new phone with a different number.
00:36:57And fill in this stupid lake.
00:36:59Be careful with those.
00:37:22They're the last of the crystal.
00:37:25Hey, what's going on?
00:37:25Oh, hi.
00:37:27Um, we're just moving.
00:37:29Hey, it's the plumber.
00:37:31You come over to help Susie move into her new house?
00:37:34New house?
00:37:35Well, she didn't tell you?
00:37:37I bought a place for my girls.
00:37:39You let him buy you a house?
00:37:41Uh, well, he's not moving in with us.
00:37:43After that speech about wanting to go it alone, and after I offered to let you stay with me?
00:37:47To be fair, you just had a spare room, and this is a whole house.
00:37:52Hey, no offense if you're not using your back.
00:37:54You're just in the way.
00:37:55You saw me buying that ring, and you just had to cut me off.
00:38:00You bought me a ring?
00:38:00Susie, let me handle this.
00:38:03A man's got to protect his family, huh?
00:38:05Uh, Mike, about that ring.
00:38:07Put that box down.
00:38:08What?
00:38:09You're going to hit me, huh?
00:38:10Oh, my God.
00:38:13What are you?
00:38:14Stop it.
00:38:16Oh, that's enough.
00:38:16Get off.
00:38:17Go, go.
00:38:19Oh, my God.
00:38:21Oh, stop.
00:38:22That's enough.
00:38:23Back up.
00:38:24And that ring, that was for me, right?
00:38:25Not now.
00:38:28Oh, my God.
00:38:31Carl, are you okay?
00:38:33Oh, are you okay?
00:38:35Let me see.
00:38:36Oh, my God.
00:38:37Can you sit up?
00:38:53Oh, my God.
00:38:54Charmé, do you have a second?
00:38:56This is probably silly, but it's been bothering me.
00:38:59When you said, please don't kill him, did you mean Carlos?
00:39:03Ralph did.
00:39:04Not Mr. Solis.
00:39:05I know.
00:39:07It's just you said kill, not dead.
00:39:10And I'd have to be pretty angry to kill someone.
00:39:13So, I guess my question is, do I have a reason to be angry at Mr. Solis?
00:39:18Oh, please.
00:39:20So much laundry.
00:39:26Charmé?
00:39:28How did you rip your panties?
00:39:30I fell down.
00:39:39Since here, Dr. Pater examined Salmé last week, and everything was fine.
00:39:44Yeah, I know.
00:39:45It's just she's been having pain down there.
00:39:48So, if you could take a peek, it'd make me feel so much better.
00:39:50Of course.
00:39:51Um, and doctor, uh, while you're down there, could you check if she's still a virgin?
00:39:58I'm sorry?
00:39:59You don't even have to say it out loud.
00:40:00If you see Hyman, just give me a thumbs up.
00:40:01Dr. Alexis, MRI 6, please.
00:40:05Dr. Alexis.
00:40:27Dr. Alexis.
00:40:28What's this now?
00:40:43I want to swim.
00:40:44Well, we already swam.
00:40:45Now it's time to pack.
00:40:47Hey, hey, hey!
00:40:48What's going on?
00:40:50Dad will let me swim.
00:40:52Well, Dad's not here, so I decide.
00:40:55And I decide no.
00:40:58Oh, Porter, what are you doing?
00:41:03Hey, hey, get down off that right now.
00:41:06I mean it.
00:41:06Okay, okay, okay.
00:41:07Porter, just stop, all right?
00:41:09Just come on inside, and we'll forget the whole thing.
00:41:12Help!
00:41:13Help!
00:41:14Help!
00:41:15Help!
00:41:15Help!
00:41:22Daddy!
00:41:23Daddy!
00:41:24Hey, guys, come on.
00:41:26God, I missed you so much.
00:41:28You too, Munchkin.
00:41:36Where's Porter?
00:41:37Is he okay?
00:41:37He broke his arm.
00:41:38They took him up to x-ray.
00:41:40Hey, guys, why don't you look after your sister for me, okay?
00:41:44Mommy and Dad need to talk.
00:41:45I got nothing to say to you.
00:41:49I just called because I had to.
00:41:51Whatever you saw, I can explain.
00:41:54I am not interested, and if you want to keep those fingers, I would move them away from
00:41:57my body.
00:42:01Lynette, I am not cheating on you.
00:42:03I never have, and I never will.
00:42:05I saw you with that woman.
00:42:07Her name is Nora.
00:42:08I met her 12 years ago.
00:42:09I met her before you.
00:42:10She was a dancer on a cruise ship.
00:42:11We had a one-night stand.
00:42:12I haven't thought about her in years.
00:42:14Then why are you going to Atlantic City every other weekend to visit her?
00:42:17I have another child, Lynette.
00:42:26What?
00:42:27She got pregnant from the one-night stand.
00:42:30Nora raised a kid without ever telling me.
00:42:31I only just found out about it.
00:42:32That is why I have been going back and forth.
00:42:35I am not having an affair.
00:42:36I am not having an affair.
00:42:36The little girl's name is Kayla.
00:42:54She's 11 years old.
00:42:56I know I should have told you about this sooner.
00:42:58It's just that I wanted to take a paternity test to be sure.
00:43:01And I'm definitely the dad.
00:43:06Why did she wait so long to contact you?
00:43:09She said she wanted to raise the kid alone.
00:43:11And I guess she's changed her mind, honey.
00:43:16Baby, I am so sorry.
00:43:19Not ready for that yet.
00:43:21Okay.
00:43:24You have no idea how badly you scared me?
00:43:28I am so sorry.
00:43:30I had already let you go.
00:43:36Dad, I got a blue cast.
00:43:41Hey, buddy.
00:43:42You sure did.
00:43:43That's pretty cool.
00:43:48Hey.
00:43:51Bitches, can we go home now?
00:44:01Yeah.
00:44:01We're going home.
00:44:02We're going home.
00:44:06Have they rung up your prescription yet?
00:44:16I'm getting it right now.
00:44:17Good.
00:44:18Add that on.
00:44:20You're dyeing your hair honey wheat blonde?
00:44:22Oh, it's not for me.
00:44:24It's for Danielle.
00:44:26That hair is going back to the color God intended.
00:44:29You actually think she's going to sit still as you towel this through her hair?
00:44:33Oh, I will tie her down if necessary.
00:44:35I'm also thinking of checking her body for piercings while I'm at it.
00:44:38You're overreacting.
00:44:39She's just going through a phase.
00:44:41That's what girls her age do.
00:44:42They also get pregnant and become drug addicts.
00:44:46And that color hair is the gateway.
00:44:50Would you please add that to our bill?
00:44:53I'm telling you, Bree, you're going to have to stop riding them so hard.
00:44:56I am trying to ensure that they turn into responsible adults.
00:45:00Trust me, Rex.
00:45:01In the end, we will be rewarded.
00:45:03How can you be so damn sure of yourself all the time?
00:45:06Why is my certainty a flaw?
00:45:08I know what I'm about.
00:45:09I know my values.
00:45:10And I know what's right.
00:45:12Why shouldn't I stay the course?
00:45:14Am I right, Mr. Williams?
00:45:16My mother always took a firm hand with me.
00:45:18And I thank her for it.
00:45:20Exactly.
00:45:20And look how well you turned out.
00:45:22Look, you're a good mother, but there's a limit.
00:45:30You have got to relinquish some control or else you're going to regret it.
00:45:33Excuse me.
00:45:51Do you have the time?
00:45:53Yes, just after eight.
00:45:54Oh, I was afraid of that.
00:45:56Afraid of what?
00:45:57Well, I'm only supposed to be restrained until seven.
00:46:00You see, I have a little problem with sleepwalking.
00:46:02They just tie me up so they don't wander off and hurt myself.
00:46:06Yeah, well, I'm sure a nurse will be in here soon.
00:46:08One can only hope.
00:46:08Of course, if a doctor gets here first and sees that someone forgot to release me, I'm sure they're getting a lot of trouble.
00:46:18Lady, I can't let you out of your restraints.
00:46:19I'd get fired.
00:46:21Oh.
00:46:22Well, I certainly would not want that to happen.
00:46:28What's your name?
00:46:29Alfred.
00:46:30Oh, does anybody ever call you Alfie?
00:46:33No.
00:46:35And why should they?
00:46:36So, um, Alfred, I was wondering if you could maybe loosen my restraints.
00:46:44They're incredibly tight, and I'm sure there are no rules against making me more comfortable.
00:46:55Do you think I'm stupid?
00:46:58I beg your pardon?
00:46:59Two seconds after I loosen these little restraints, you'll try to scratch my eyes out and make a run for it.
00:47:03Well, I'm not falling for it, you psycho little bitch.
00:47:07In fact, I hope they keep you tied up for the next month, because I'd get a real kick out of watching a prissy little whack job like you lying in your own filth.
00:47:15Know what I mean?
00:47:16Oh, are you all right?
00:47:23Oh, yeah.
00:47:24A little hopped up on pain medicine, but, um, I chipped my tooth on the salad shooter.
00:47:29Oh.
00:47:30Oh, you know, you should, um, call my friend, uh, Orson.
00:47:34He's a dentist.
00:47:34I'm sure he'll see you right away.
00:47:36Thanks.
00:47:36So, about that ring you bought, is there anything in particular you'd like to ask me?
00:47:45Nope.
00:47:46Not as long as Carl's got you wrapped around his finger.
00:47:49Okay, that's ridiculous.
00:47:50Carl doesn't have me wrapped around anything.
00:47:52You accepted a house from him, and you're nuts if you believe he doesn't have an ulterior motive.
00:47:57He's Carl.
00:47:58He's playing me.
00:47:59But that house is going to be a great place for my daughter to live.
00:48:03And when he makes his move, he's going to realize that I was really playing him.
00:48:10So, about that ring.
00:48:13I just don't want to get deeper into this and suddenly realize your heart's somewhere else.
00:48:17Mike, my heart is in the exact right place.
00:48:22I can't have this conversation.
00:48:24Now my tooth is throbbing.
00:48:25Of course.
00:48:29Okay.
00:48:32You don't even want to know what my answer would have been?
00:48:43Can we please get out of here?
00:48:45This place is gross.
00:48:47And, God, I'm starving.
00:48:49Yeah, I know, but we don't have any money, remember?
00:48:51That's why we should go to my house.
00:48:52I know the combination of my mom's safe.
00:48:53Okay, I've told you a thousand times it's way too risky.
00:48:55No.
00:48:56Something you should know before you embark on this little adventure.
00:48:59I can get pretty bitchy when I'm not fed.
00:49:09Listen, I hope I'm not out of line here, but did you ever spend any time in prison?
00:49:12What, you can tell from my teeth?
00:49:16Jailhouse dentistry.
00:49:18Unmistakable and not pretty.
00:49:20Yeah, I did a little time in Kansas a few years back.
00:49:23You were a prison dentist?
00:49:23Uh, during dental school, we did freebie work on some of the poor guinea pigs behind bars, so no offense.
00:49:31You know, I had the feeling when I first saw you in the movie theater that we'd met before.
00:49:35I don't think so.
00:49:35No, I'm pretty sure.
00:49:37I think I know you.
00:49:38Any chance I was one of your guinea pigs?
00:49:41No.
00:49:42The only prison work I did was back in Virginia.
00:49:46Your diploma says you graduated from Minnesota.
00:49:48I'm licensed in three states.
00:49:53Open wide, please.
00:49:55Don't talk.
00:49:56I wouldn't want to hurt you.
00:50:04Carlos, you promised you'd come home today.
00:50:07I don't care what Tanaka wants.
00:50:10Rallying around this stupid house all by myself is not what I signed up for.
00:50:13No, no, no, don't hang up on me.
00:50:14I'm not done yelling at you.
00:50:18I'm not done yelling at you.
00:50:41Mrs. Elise, how are you?
00:50:44The best you ever had.
00:50:48What's so funny?
00:50:59Me and my friend Justin had this bet
00:51:01so you could lose their virginity first this summer at Bible camp.
00:51:05Guess I beat him to the punch.
00:51:09You were virgin?
00:51:11So it didn't show?
00:51:13No.
00:51:13No, I mean, I guess it was a little weird
00:51:17when you started naming the American presidents in order.
00:51:20Yeah, I wish you hadn't heard that.
00:51:22I was just trying to...
00:51:24No, no, you were good.
00:51:27Justin comes up in school, Paul Revere was never a president.
00:51:31Oh, thanks.
00:51:34I, uh, had a really awesome time, Mrs. Solis.
00:51:38Well, good. I'm glad.
00:51:40Because this can never happen again.
00:51:42Why?
00:51:43The only reason I did this is because I was angry at Carlos.
00:51:46Now, thanks to you, I'm not angry anymore.
00:51:49Well, you should be.
00:51:50I mean, the guy's never around.
00:51:51Hell, he's probably off having his own affair right now.
00:51:54Oh, I seriously doubt that.
00:51:57How do you know?
00:51:58Because Carlos doesn't have an adulterous bone in his body.
00:52:00What we just did, he could never do.
00:52:02For him, sex isn't just sex.
00:52:05It's a sign of intimacy.
00:52:08It's the way he shows love.
00:52:10You know, instead of talking and listening and spending time with me.
00:52:21What was that for?
00:52:24Thought you needed a kiss?
00:52:28Well, since this is our last time, I guess we can make the most of it.
00:52:32Like all good mothers, Gabrielle had purchased several top-of-the-line baby monitors.
00:52:52She had planned to use them to keep a close watch on her newborn child.
00:52:56That plan was about to change.
00:53:07So I'm going to go shopping, and then I'm going to see my trainer,
00:53:10and I'll definitely be gone for like three hours.
00:53:17Okay, well, I gotta go.
00:53:18Have fun.
00:53:19Have fun.
00:53:19Stop here, Penny.
00:53:29I'm going to have to change you now, because you stink.
00:53:36You hit me.
00:53:37Oh, man.
00:53:39Show me.
00:53:39That is amazing.
00:53:40You like?
00:53:42Oh, yeah.
00:53:43Sorry if I'm making a mess.
00:53:44It's okay.
00:53:46Mushu Park.
00:53:47Supposed to be messy.
00:53:48I wish Gabrielle could cook like this.
00:53:50Have you ever tried enchiladas?
00:53:51One time.
00:53:52They make me sick.
00:53:56Dead.
00:54:01Mike still hasn't seen the invitation.
00:54:03He will, and he'll meet you for a romantic motorhome rendezvous,
00:54:08and you'll propose, you'll accept, and you'll both live happily ever after.
00:54:11You really think that's what's going to happen?
00:54:13It's my deepest hope.
00:54:16Oh, there he is.
00:54:18We're in.
00:54:41Holly, that's a good name.
00:54:48No way.
00:54:49Pamela.
00:54:50I said I wanted Penny.
00:54:51Ah, Lynette.
00:54:53Eight hours of grueling labor.
00:54:56It's not fair.
00:54:58I know there's stretch marks, but what are you going to do?
00:54:59I've only known one Penny in my whole life, and she was a slut.
00:55:03Isn't your aunt named Penny?
00:55:04Yeah, that's her.
00:55:07Our daughter is officially named.
00:55:10You may go now.
00:55:11All right, I'll let you win this one, but I get to name the next one.
00:55:15You promised me we'd stop at four.
00:55:18Remember?
00:55:19You wanted four kids.
00:55:20I wanted one.
00:55:21And somehow we compromised on four.
00:55:24Can we please stop now?
00:55:25Lynette, you're hurting me.
00:55:27I will stop as soon as you promise.
00:55:30Okay, I promise.
00:55:32Okay.
00:55:36Honey, I didn't mean to upset you.
00:55:38I just, you've been so happy.
00:55:41Sweetie, sometimes when you're at work and I'm home alone with three young boys, I'm not so happy.
00:55:46And now I'm going to be alone with four kids.
00:55:49Each one is a blessing.
00:55:51Yes.
00:55:52But I don't think I can take any more blessings.
00:55:57More blessings could make me lose my mind.
00:56:00Do you understand?
00:56:02Yeah.
00:56:06Honey, that really hurt.
00:56:10Did it hurt for eight hours?
00:56:12No.
00:56:13Okay, then.
00:56:16I must have been crazy agreeing to this.
00:56:23Honey, you're going to feel differently once you meet Kayla.
00:56:26She is a sweet, smart little girl.
00:56:27Plus, this will help you get past your resentment on Nora.
00:56:30I don't...
00:56:32Here it goes.
00:56:38Hey, you!
00:56:38Hey, you!
00:56:46You must be Lynette.
00:56:52And then you must be Nora.
00:56:54I guess it'd be weird if we hugged.
00:56:57Probably.
00:56:58Yeah.
00:56:58Where's Kayla?
00:57:00Oh, she didn't come.
00:57:01We got into this huge fight and I was like, I just couldn't stand to look at her face on that long plane trip, so I dumped her at the neighbor's.
00:57:07Hey, come on, you got me.
00:57:19So anyway, Kayla is doing great.
00:57:22She's so pretty.
00:57:23She's so smart.
00:57:24She's practically the star on her soccer team.
00:57:27I have the cutest picture.
00:57:29You know, we wouldn't need a picture if you'd actually brought her like you promised.
00:57:35Oh, gosh, I'm sorry.
00:57:37You know, but I just haven't had much time to get away on my own since, um, I've been taking care of your kid for the past 11 years.
00:57:43Super dad.
00:57:44Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
00:57:46I know it's been hard.
00:57:46You've done an amazing job.
00:57:48I think so, too.
00:57:50Apology accepted.
00:57:52Anyway, I wasn't sure that I wanted Kayla here if we were going to talk about business.
00:57:55Business?
00:57:59I was hoping that we could talk about child support since I've got, like, 11 years coming to me, right?
00:58:07You never told me I had a daughter.
00:58:09My lawyer thinks that I have a very good case.
00:58:11We can't afford this.
00:58:13We have four kids.
00:58:14Tom just lost his job.
00:58:15They'd bankrupt us.
00:58:16I'm the bad guy now?
00:58:18When he's the one that knocked me up and abandoned his child?
00:58:21How could he abandon her if he didn't even know she existed?
00:58:24That doesn't let him off the hook.
00:58:26You know what, you better do right by me, unless, of course, you want to be known as Mrs. Deadbeat Dad.
00:58:30You just take it easy.
00:58:36Are we just going to keep talking louder?
00:58:38Is that the plan?
00:58:39You want to just keep raising your voice?
00:58:40Because that's how you get what you want, right?
00:58:43You make a scene, you throw a tantrum, and everyone gets scared and backs off.
00:58:46Well, I don't work that way, lady.
00:58:47I don't care that my husband was so phenomenally stupid and or drunk to actually have sex with you.
00:58:52I'm not going to let it ruin my life.
00:58:54Am I talking loud enough for that to get through to you?
00:59:03I'm just going to pay the bill.
00:59:08Carl, we've been through a lot together.
00:59:10We will always be connected by Julie, but I know why you bought me that house, and I'm not moving into it.
00:59:16Susie, come on.
00:59:17Carl, we are not getting back together.
00:59:19Never. Not ever.
00:59:20You need to just stop and realize that it's over.
00:59:24I'm going to marry Mike.
00:59:27So, I need you to sign these, because I have to be divorced first.
00:59:33Mike popped the question.
00:59:35No, he was going to, but then you clocked him in the mouth with a salad shooter, remember?
00:59:39Actually, I'm going to pop the question to him tomorrow night.
00:59:47Guess it cuts down on the suspense knowing he bought you a ring.
00:59:51You would think so, but no, it doesn't.
00:59:57This is a lot to ask for a man who still loves you, Susie.
01:00:00I know.
01:00:00But if you really do love me, you'll let me go.
01:00:13Okay, Susie.
01:00:14I can do that.
01:00:17Well, you know where to find me if it doesn't work out, huh?
01:00:19Oh, shut up.
01:00:20I don't see another way to make this work.
01:00:27We've got to dip into the pensions.
01:00:28I don't like the sound of that.
01:00:30Well, it's that or the kids' college fund.
01:00:34We'll write Nora one big check, and in return, she'll sign away her claim for the back child support.
01:00:39If we're lucky, she'll take the bird in the hand.
01:00:41Okay, what are we talking about?
01:00:42How much?
01:00:44We need to show her we're serious.
01:00:4530,000?
01:00:48Are you kidding?
01:00:4830?
01:00:49If she takes you to court, we'll lose and end up paying 11 years of child support all at once.
01:00:53We could lose the house.
01:00:55We are screwed.
01:00:56We are just plain screwed.
01:00:58Tom!
01:01:00I am trying very hard to be strong right now, and you melting down is not helping me.
01:01:07I'm sorry.
01:01:08I know.
01:01:09We're using up a huge chunk of our savings, but if it keeps that crazy woman out of our life,
01:01:12it is the best money we have ever spent.
01:01:15We will be okay.
01:01:20Hey there.
01:01:23I was surprised to hear you wanted a session.
01:01:26Well, there's nothing like being tied to a bed to change a girl's mind.
01:01:32What do you want to talk about?
01:01:33Anything at all.
01:01:34As you said, I have a lot of issues.
01:01:38Well, I assumed as much when you told the ridiculous story about your daughter running off with a murderer.
01:01:44You saw right through that, did you?
01:01:47I'm a trained professional, Brie.
01:01:49The human mind is my playground.
01:01:53Well, I'm glad that you're having fun.
01:01:55I'm sorry.
01:01:56I don't mean to be flip.
01:01:57But you came here because you were troubled.
01:02:00And then you refused any help we give you.
01:02:02Things were falling apart at home, and I just, I just needed a place to rest.
01:02:09That's all.
01:02:11I think there's more to it than that.
01:02:13Do you?
01:02:14I think it has to do with your kids.
01:02:16You don't want to talk about them.
01:02:19Why is that?
01:02:20Probably because I'm ashamed.
01:02:25Ashamed?
01:02:26My children were my life.
01:02:29They were the reason that I got up in the morning.
01:02:30So to have failed them as a parent.
01:02:32You think you failed them as a parent?
01:02:34Well, my son is a sociopath, and my daughter hates me enough to have run away from home.
01:02:37I'm certainly not going to get Mother of the Year anytime soon.
01:02:40If your kids were here right now, what would you tell them?
01:02:42I would beg my son, Andrew, for forgiveness for having given up on him, and I would tell my daughter not to worry that I have a plan to protect her.
01:02:51And just what is that plan?
01:02:55Ow! Ow! Ow!
01:03:12So I've got everything ready to go.
01:03:35Flowers, candles, Elvis Costello, CD, all queued up.
01:03:38Who has the ring?
01:03:39He does.
01:03:40So wait, you're going to get down on one knee, pop the question, and while you're down,
01:03:42digging his pocket?
01:03:44What if you pull out his keychain?
01:03:45I'm going to have to find a way to force it on my finger.
01:03:47Oh, yeah, man.
01:03:48What'd you learn to kiss like that?
01:03:50Sorry, that's Penny's baby monitor.
01:03:51It's always picking up weird frequencies.
01:03:53No, no, no, no, no, don't turn it off.
01:03:55Oh, move over.
01:03:57My knees hit the dashboard.
01:03:58I move to the back.
01:04:00Better?
01:04:03Oh, yeah.
01:04:04Oh.
01:04:12Are you done with my husband?
01:04:42Good.
01:04:45I have a little project for you.
01:04:53Okay, Gabby, can we please talk about this?
01:04:55You were the one that gave me permission, remember?
01:04:57You said go have sex with somebody.
01:04:59To have meaningless sex, Carlos.
01:05:01Not to sleep with the woman who's carrying our child.
01:05:03What does it matter?
01:05:04Look, we're even.
01:05:05You had an affair and I had an affair.
01:05:07I had a reason to.
01:05:08You were never here.
01:05:09I've been here, Carlos.
01:05:11I have tried so hard to not be selfish and to put your knees above mine.
01:05:15I mean, for God's sakes, look at me.
01:05:17I have agreed to be a mother for you.
01:05:20Look, Gabby, you have every right to be mad at me.
01:05:22So I'm going to go and check into a hotel room and let you cool down.
01:05:25But we are going to work this out.
01:05:26Forget the hotel, Carlos.
01:05:28Get a lease.
01:05:29I can go now, too.
01:05:40No, you can start dinner.
01:05:42What?
01:05:45You're not going anywhere.
01:05:46Not as long as you have my baby in your belly.
01:05:52Son, you're in one.
01:05:56I don't know what that meant, but I didn't like the tone.
01:05:58So just remember, I am the boss of you.
01:06:01Or else I'm going to make this the worst nine months of your life.
01:06:12Hi.
01:06:13Hi.
01:06:13Did you get the check?
01:06:14Yeah.
01:06:15I wanted to talk to you about that.
01:06:17Do you have a minute?
01:06:20Tom!
01:06:23I'm not the type of person that can't keep things bottled up inside.
01:06:26Really?
01:06:28So I'm just going to have to get this off my chest.
01:06:30You made me feel really bad about myself yesterday at the restaurant.
01:06:36My sincerest apologies.
01:06:38You treated me like some sort of mercenary, like the only reason I came here was to extort
01:06:42money from you.
01:06:43Well, to be honest, first we bought you pie, then you tried to extort money from us.
01:06:49See?
01:06:49There it is again, Lynette.
01:06:50That mean streak.
01:06:52All I want is what's best for my child, for Tom's child.
01:06:55As the mother of 80% of Tom's children, I don't think it's in their best interest for
01:07:00you to drive us into bankruptcy.
01:07:01Of course it isn't.
01:07:02There.
01:07:07I signed the waiver that the lawyer sent over with the check.
01:07:14And I'm not even asking for any back child support.
01:07:17That's great.
01:07:19See, Lynette?
01:07:20See?
01:07:21It's not all about money.
01:07:22It's not even a little bit about money.
01:07:24It's about family.
01:07:26Because we're all a big family now.
01:07:28Sort of.
01:07:31Which is why I took all the money that you gave me and I put it all down on the sweetest
01:07:37little two-bedroom house over on Arden Drive.
01:07:42Arden Drive over by the mall?
01:07:44Like five minutes from here, Arden Drive?
01:07:48It's perfect.
01:07:49I could drop Kayla off here anytime so she can play with her new siblings.
01:07:53She can spend time with her dad.
01:07:55Well, to be clear, how are you going to live?
01:07:58How are you going to pay the mortgage?
01:07:59You don't have a job here.
01:08:00What is your problem with me, lady?
01:08:03I don't understand.
01:08:04You don't know me.
01:08:06You don't know what I can do.
01:08:07And yet you just always, just, just, just, always on the attack.
01:08:14It's ugly and you should work on that.
01:08:18Here's what I think.
01:08:19I think that we should all work on this because I don't want every Christmas to turn ugly.
01:08:23It's just because you and I don't get along.
01:08:28Yeah, that would be a shame.
01:08:29Yeah, that would be a shame.
01:08:29Yeah, that would be a shame.
01:08:58See, I told you she wasn't home.
01:09:18Her car's not even here.
01:09:20You said the safe was upstairs?
01:09:22Damn it.
01:09:30My mother must have changed the combination.
01:09:34Okay.
01:09:35Wait here.
01:09:35I'll be right back.
01:09:36You did it.
01:09:57You killed Melanie.
01:09:59You put your jacket on her body.
01:10:00I saw it, Matthew.
01:10:05The police showed me the pictures.
01:10:08No, you weren't there.
01:10:09You don't know what happened.
01:10:11Oh, God.
01:10:12Caleb hurt her.
01:10:13And Melanie threatened to bring us all down because of that.
01:10:16So your solution was to make your brother think he murdered a girl?
01:10:19And to make me think it?
01:10:20What other choice did I have?
01:10:22I knew that you wouldn't hand Caleb over to the police.
01:10:24I knew that you would protect him.
01:10:26I would have protected you.
01:10:28Well, I really couldn't count on that.
01:10:29The nephew.
01:10:30You don't love me as much as you love Caleb.
01:10:34You never have.
01:10:37Perhaps.
01:10:39But it's because he's needed me more.
01:10:42You are always going to find love in the world.
01:10:45Don't you understand?
01:10:47He was only ever going to get it from me.
01:10:50I know you believe that.
01:10:54That's why I've tried so hard to forgive you.
01:10:56Who knows?
01:11:01Maybe you'll wonder how well.
01:11:18911, what is your emergency?
01:11:20I need the police.
01:11:21See, I told you she had cash.
01:11:30I told you she had cash.
01:11:30Danielle, I don't know what you're planning, but I need to talk to you right now.
01:11:56Give it up, Mom.
01:11:57We're leaving.
01:11:58I'm calling the police.
01:11:59Do you remember that girl, Melanie Foster?
01:12:07Matthew is the one who killed her.
01:12:11I know you don't want us to be together, but that's the lamest thing I've ever heard.
01:12:15His mother told me what happened.
01:12:17It's true.
01:12:22Let's go, Danielle.
01:12:23Mom, please move.
01:12:34No.
01:12:35I gave up on your brother, and I'm not going to make that mistake with you.
01:12:38You don't have time for this.
01:12:42Where did you get that?
01:12:44What are you doing?
01:12:45Move away!
01:12:46Danielle, I want you to get out of the house now.
01:12:52He's a killer.
01:12:53Shut up!
01:12:54Don't point that at my mother!
01:12:55Danielle!
01:12:57I'm serious.
01:12:58Go.
01:12:58What's wrong with you?
01:12:59I'm going to shoot you!
01:13:01Matthew, stop it!
01:13:02If that's what it takes to get my daughter...
01:13:14Stop it!
01:13:15...to see who you really are...
01:13:17Stop pointing that at my mother!
01:13:19Then fine.
01:13:22What are you doing?
01:13:24Do it.
01:13:25Stop!
01:13:26Stop!
01:13:26Stop!
01:13:26Stop!
01:13:26Stop!
01:13:26Stop!
01:13:26Stop!
01:13:26Stop!
01:13:26Stop!
01:13:26Stop!
01:13:26Stop!
01:13:28Stop!
01:13:30Stop!
01:13:39Stop!
01:13:54Ah!
01:13:55Ah!
01:13:57Ah!
01:13:57Ah!
01:13:58Ah!
01:13:58Ah!
01:13:59Ah!
01:14:00Ah!
01:14:01Ah!
01:14:03It's OK, baby, baby.
01:14:04Ah!
01:14:06Ah!
01:14:06Ah!
01:14:07Ah!
01:14:30I don't know.
01:15:00Hey, it's just me again.
01:15:08When you got the invitation, I thought that you gave me the thumbs up, but I guess if that was actually some other type of finger gesture, well, I apologize for leaving you all these messages and wasting your time.
01:15:30I don't know.
01:16:00I don't know.
01:16:01I don't know.
01:16:02I don't know.
01:16:04I don't know.
01:16:05I don't know.
01:16:06I don't know.
01:16:07I don't know.
01:16:08I don't know.
01:16:09I don't know.
01:16:10I don't know.
01:16:11I don't know.
01:16:12I don't know.
01:16:13I don't know.
01:16:14I don't know.
01:16:15I don't know.
01:16:16I don't know.
01:16:17I don't know.
01:16:18I don't know.
01:16:19I don't know.
01:16:20I don't know.
01:16:21I don't know.
01:16:22I don't know.
01:16:23I don't know.
01:16:24I don't know.
01:16:25I don't know.
01:16:26I don't know.
01:16:27I don't know.
01:16:28I don't know.
01:16:29I don't know.
01:16:30I don't know.
01:16:31I don't know.
01:16:32I don't know.
01:16:33I don't know.
01:16:35I don't know.
01:16:36Not just for themselves, but for their children, too.
01:16:42If I could, would I tell them what lies ahead?
01:16:47Would I warn them of the sorrow and betrayal that lie in store?
01:16:53No.
01:16:54From where I stand now, I see enough of the road to understand how it must be traveled.
01:17:01The trick is to keep moving forward.
01:17:06To let go of the fear and the regret that slow us down.
01:17:09And keep us from enjoying a journey that will be over too soon.
01:17:16Yes, there will be unexpected bends in the road.
01:17:21Shocking surprises we didn't see coming.
01:17:25But that's really the point.
01:17:28Don't you think?
01:17:30Orson!
01:17:31Hey, I wanted to come by and see how you're doing after your great escape.
01:17:34And, uh, these are for you.
01:17:37How sweet and unexpected.
01:17:44Do you want to come in?
01:17:47I'd love to.
01:17:48Do you want to come in?
01:17:49Do you want to come in?
01:17:50Do you want to come in?
01:17:50Do you want to come in?
01:17:51Do you want to come in?
01:17:51Do you want to come in?
01:17:52Do you want to come in?
01:17:53Do you want to come in?
01:17:54Do you want to come in?
01:17:55Do you want to come in?
01:17:56Do you want to come in?
01:17:57Do you want to come in?
01:17:58Do you want to come in?
01:17:59Do you want to come in?
01:18:00Do you want to come in?
01:18:01Do you want to come in?
01:18:02Do you want to come in?
01:18:03Do you want to come in?
01:18:04Do you want to come in?
01:18:05Do you want to come in?
01:18:06Do you want to come in?
01:18:07Do you want to come in?
01:18:08Do you want to come in?