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  • 6/16/2025
Season 2 - Episodes 05 & 06 [HD]
Transcript
00:00:00Previously on Desperate Housewives
00:00:04The police dug up your father today.
00:00:05They think that somebody was poisoning him.
00:00:07Apparently I'm a suspect.
00:00:08Bree felt threatened by the past.
00:00:10Get the damn lawyer.
00:00:11Are you hitting on me?
00:00:13Gabrielle was threatened by seduction.
00:00:15Do you mean Julie?
00:00:15If I come back with you, then I can make it up to her.
00:00:17I think you should try to find your father first.
00:00:19Let me help.
00:00:20And while some threats
00:00:21were kept under control
00:00:27Let's get this over with.
00:00:29Some were left free to return.
00:00:35Since her first day on the job
00:00:37it had been clear to Lynette Scavo
00:00:40that her new boss Nina
00:00:42was unusually tense.
00:00:45To help relieve her tension
00:00:47Lynette tried giving her boss thoughtful gifts.
00:00:50A soothing wave machine
00:00:51Aromatherapy candles
00:00:56Even meditative tea balls.
00:01:03But nothing seemed to ease Nina's tension.
00:01:05Distilled the old-fashioned way.
00:01:09You know it actually hurts my teeth
00:01:11to say that out loud.
00:01:13You folks are going to toddle back to your little holes
00:01:17and you're going to come up with a decent slogan
00:01:18or I will can all your asses
00:01:21the old-fashioned way.
00:01:22Until one day
00:01:26when it occurred to Lynette
00:01:28there was one form of relaxation
00:01:30she had yet to try.
00:01:32It's a gimlet.
00:01:35You'll love it.
00:01:36What exactly is your plan here
00:01:38to get me all liquored up
00:01:39so I buy the revised pitch?
00:01:41It'll be ridiculous.
00:01:43Could we get a trough of these please?
00:01:47I can't remember the last time I was in a bar.
00:01:50Must have been the last time I had a boyfriend
00:01:51which was...
00:01:53Oh God, I'm a nun.
00:01:55So why don't you go out and get in the game?
00:01:57Believe it or not.
00:01:59When it comes to meeting men
00:02:01I am...
00:02:02shy.
00:02:04Well, I'm not.
00:02:06So, uh...
00:02:08What about that guy over there?
00:02:10He's been checking you out since we walked in.
00:02:14That's cute.
00:02:15So go over there.
00:02:17No.
00:02:18Oh, for God's sake.
00:02:20Where are you going?
00:02:21Lynette, sit.
00:02:26Hey, Stretch.
00:02:28See my friend over there?
00:02:30She thinks you're cute.
00:02:33Why don't you buy her a drink?
00:02:39Hey, everybody.
00:02:41Hi.
00:02:42Oh, it's a beautiful morning, isn't it?
00:02:44Thank you, sweetie.
00:02:46Oh, hey, Lynette.
00:02:47I read the new Vaca proposal.
00:02:48Oh, you guys hit it out of the park.
00:02:52Wow.
00:02:52I love that color.
00:02:53Thanks.
00:02:54Hey, Nina.
00:02:55Yeah.
00:02:56And although it had come about in an unexpected manner...
00:03:00Aren't those the same clothes you were wearing last night in the bar?
00:03:03Yep.
00:03:04Nina's tension had finally been released.
00:03:07The old-fashioned way.
00:03:10The old-fashioned way.
00:04:11It was Lonnie who helped Susan promote her first children's book.
00:04:16It was Lonnie who rushed Susan to the hospital the night Julie was born.
00:04:21It was Lonnie who took Susan's mind off her painful divorce with a fun vacation.
00:04:26Yes, Lonnie was Susan's rock.
00:04:32Sadly for Susan, her rock was about to crumble.
00:04:35For those of you just joining us, we have a new development in the Melanie Foster case.
00:04:41Lonnie, what are you doing here?
00:04:43It's past noon, which means it's now socially acceptable to begin drinking.
00:04:48I can't believe I let you talk me into this.
00:04:50I am so behind in my work, but I'm glad I came.
00:04:52This is fun.
00:04:54I've got to be honest.
00:04:55I had an ulterior motive.
00:04:57Oh?
00:04:58I've decided to start my own agency.
00:05:01You're leaving Murren Hunt?
00:05:03You helped build that place.
00:05:04I know, but I just feel it's time.
00:05:08And now the question is, will you come with me?
00:05:11Well, of course.
00:05:13Of course.
00:05:13Okay.
00:05:14To the future.
00:05:18I'll just call the agency and I'll let them know I'm going with you.
00:05:21Oh, I don't think that's necessary.
00:05:23Really?
00:05:25Yeah, I think it might be rude not to.
00:05:30Lonnie, what's going on?
00:05:33Okay.
00:05:35There's been some bad blood between me and the partners.
00:05:39Why?
00:05:40I got into this thing where I had to move a little client money around temporarily to cover some expenses.
00:05:45You had to move money?
00:05:46What does that mean?
00:05:47I took a little from here and I moved it there.
00:05:52It was no big deal.
00:05:53Really?
00:05:55Because it sort of sounds like embezzlement.
00:05:56Why do people keep using that word?
00:05:59Who else is using that word?
00:06:00Nobody.
00:06:02The partners and their forensic accountant.
00:06:06Oh, my God.
00:06:06Lonnie, did you move some of my money?
00:06:10Absolutely not.
00:06:11I swear.
00:06:12Susan, don't look at me that way.
00:06:15I know what I did was wrong.
00:06:17And I feel like a complete idiot for doing it.
00:06:19But please, please don't hate me.
00:06:23I don't hate you.
00:06:24I couldn't hate you.
00:06:25You're my Lonnie.
00:06:26So, will you still come with me?
00:06:36You know what?
00:06:39This is one of those times when you find out who your real friends are.
00:06:42So, yeah.
00:06:44Oh, thank you.
00:06:46You are one special lady, Susan Meyer.
00:06:53Is that the baby's head?
00:06:54No, that's his foot.
00:06:58That looks like a head to me.
00:07:00Well, that settles it.
00:07:02When this baby's born, I'll be in charge of putting on the socks.
00:07:04You're glowing today, you know that?
00:07:08Pregnancy agrees with you.
00:07:10Yeah?
00:07:10Well, if you don't mind the hemorrhoids and the nausea, it's quite the party.
00:07:14I wonder where David is.
00:07:16He should have been here by now.
00:07:18So this new lawyer's good?
00:07:19He's quite the shark.
00:07:20You're going to love him.
00:07:21He hasn't lost a case in six years.
00:07:23He argued in front of the state Supreme Court.
00:07:25And he made our conjugal visit happen pretty damn fast.
00:07:28Oh, yeah.
00:07:29I'm a fan already.
00:07:30Sorry I'm late.
00:07:31Oh, David.
00:07:33Good to see you, Gabby.
00:07:35Carlos, I'm David.
00:07:51I don't think so.
00:07:54What the hell are you doing?
00:07:56That guy's not going to be my lawyer.
00:07:58Find a new one.
00:08:02You haven't filed a single charge.
00:08:04Either determine a homicide or release the body.
00:08:06We've got a court order which says until we're done with it, the corpse is ours.
00:08:10He is not a corpse.
00:08:11He is a man named Rex Vandekamp.
00:08:13He was a loving husband, a devoted father, and a successful doctor.
00:08:17So successful, in fact, that he left me enough money to sue the city, this precinct, and you
00:08:23two gentlemen, personally, just for the fun of it.
00:08:25Mrs. Vandekamp, we don't respond well to threats.
00:08:28So if I were you...
00:08:28Release the body.
00:08:31What?
00:08:32The evidence we have is minimal at best.
00:08:34Mrs. Vandekamp was gracious enough to come down here and take that lie detector test.
00:08:38I think it's the least we can do for her.
00:08:42So, uh, what will happen now?
00:08:45Obviously, we'll put Mr. Vandekamp back just like we found him.
00:08:48Yes, and I'm sure you will bury him with all the dignity of a dead hamster.
00:08:52No, I want Rex released to me, and I will make all the arrangements.
00:08:57Fine.
00:08:58And of course, you'll be paying all the costs.
00:09:00Of course.
00:09:00Detective Barton, you are clearly a gentleman.
00:09:13People have gathered at Atboro High School when Melanie...
00:09:16No, it's fine.
00:09:17I'll pick him up on my way home.
00:09:19Okay, so, what do you want?
00:09:21Oh, Parker hates pepperoni.
00:09:23Um, how about sausage?
00:09:25Yeah, and a small cheese.
00:09:26Okay, perfect.
00:09:27Love you.
00:09:29Hey, you.
00:09:30Hey.
00:09:31You want to hit O'Donnell's?
00:09:32I owe you a beer.
00:09:35Actually, I owe you so much more than that.
00:09:37You're welcome, but I really need to get home.
00:09:39Oh, come on.
00:09:40I had such a good time last night.
00:09:42Um, why don't you ask Trudy?
00:09:44She lives going out.
00:09:45Trudy?
00:09:45Are you kidding?
00:09:46I don't need the competition.
00:09:47Have you seen Trudy without her jacket?
00:09:49She's hot.
00:09:50Oh, is she now?
00:09:51I didn't mean that you're not hot.
00:09:54I just, you're married.
00:09:56Ah.
00:09:56You know, you're off the market.
00:09:57I don't have to worry about fighting you for guys.
00:09:59Come on, Lynette.
00:10:02Just one quick little drink.
00:10:04I was actually starting to think that you and I were becoming pals.
00:10:08Pals?
00:10:09Because sometimes it's hard to tell.
00:10:10You know, I wasn't feeling the love today when you mocked my campaign in front of the clients.
00:10:16That was just putting on a show for work.
00:10:19In the future, always assume that I am winking.
00:10:23Inside.
00:10:23Come on.
00:10:25I hate to go to a bar alone.
00:10:27I feel like such a loser.
00:10:30Okay.
00:10:31One drink.
00:10:32Yeah.
00:10:33One or two.
00:10:34No.
00:10:35Thank you so much for bringing my mail over.
00:11:00You know, I have some of yours in the kitchen.
00:11:02Well, that's the fourth time.
00:11:03What's up with this postman?
00:11:05Oh, I know.
00:11:06He used to be great.
00:11:08Then he had this stroke and now we're lucky if he doesn't drool on the coupons.
00:11:13But feel free to snoop around.
00:11:15I'll be right back.
00:11:15Now, for those of you just joining us, families in Chicago breathe this sigh of relief today
00:11:35as an arrest was finally made in the brutal attack on local high school student, Melanie Foster.
00:11:40The word of the suspect's capture becomes in small comfort to the Foster family.
00:11:44Betty.
00:11:45She lost her 17-year-old daughter almost four months ago.
00:11:48They can't spot him in a local park less than a mile from Hattonborough High.
00:11:54They're just in the news.
00:12:00They arrested somebody.
00:12:00Yeah.
00:12:01Looks like we're in the clear.
00:12:10Well, I have some good news.
00:12:12The police have finally released Rex's body.
00:12:14About time.
00:12:15You must be so relieved.
00:12:17You know, mostly I'm just annoyed that the whole thing happened in the first place.
00:12:20I mean, how in the world could anybody accuse me of murder?
00:12:23Well, you are wound pretty tight.
00:12:28What?
00:12:29The super mom is always the first to snap.
00:12:31They've done studies.
00:12:33Anyway, I was hoping that you were all free Friday morning because that's when I'm going
00:12:37to be hosting the reburial.
00:12:40The what?
00:12:41Look, I know it's an imposition, but Danielle is away on a class trip and Andrew is back
00:12:45at Camp Hennessy for a little refresher course.
00:12:48Well, it's just going to be a very brief and dignified ceremony, and I was hoping that
00:12:53you could say a few words, and I'm going to read a poem.
00:12:58We would love to come.
00:13:00Absolutely.
00:13:04I'm busy.
00:13:05Sorry.
00:13:06Kitty, she's going to read a poem.
00:13:10Ow!
00:13:10Fine, yes.
00:13:12Yes, we'd all love to come.
00:13:17Well, thank you.
00:13:18You don't know how much this means to me.
00:13:22I realized looking back that I was still in shock during Rex's first funeral.
00:13:26I don't think it had quite hit me at what had happened, so that's why this small ceremony
00:13:32means so much to me, because I realize now that this is the last chance I'm going to have
00:13:39to say goodbye.
00:13:40Unless, of course, they dig him up again.
00:13:51Jared, there was times when Lisa was rude and obnoxious, but I know now that there was
00:13:58no excuse to always be beating on her.
00:14:02Baby, I'm just so sorry.
00:14:03Good job, you two.
00:14:09This is an example of how to use incarceration to your benefit.
00:14:13It's a chance for people to take a step back and observe the obstacles they face in their
00:14:18marriage.
00:14:19Can I go now?
00:14:20Because I have a lot to say about the obstacles I'm facing in my marriage.
00:14:23We don't got any obstacles.
00:14:24Yes, we do, Lamar.
00:14:25We got big ones.
00:14:26Okay, hold on, you two.
00:14:28I think that it's Carlos and Gabrielle's turn.
00:14:31Thanks, but we're good.
00:14:32This is your third group session, but you have yet to share anything.
00:14:40Come on.
00:14:41Talk to us.
00:14:42How's your marriage?
00:14:43Shakey, at best.
00:14:46And why is that?
00:14:47I don't know.
00:14:48I hired a brilliant lawyer to get my husband out of this hellhole, and he fired him for
00:14:52no reason at all.
00:14:53Carlos?
00:14:55I just didn't like him.
00:14:56Why not?
00:14:57He's experienced, he's intelligent, he's successful.
00:14:59Exactly.
00:15:00I'd prefer an attorney you didn't find so damn appealing.
00:15:02Oh, my God.
00:15:03You fired him because you're jealous?
00:15:05Don't I have the right to?
00:15:06You know she cheated on me.
00:15:07Oh, Bob, you beat your wife.
00:15:09You are so not allowed to gasp.
00:15:10Don't you talk that way to him.
00:15:12One reward out of you, Lisa, and I will backhand you myself.
00:15:14Okay, calm down.
00:15:15Thousands of fatball attorneys out there in the world, and she's got to get the one that
00:15:18looks like an underwear model.
00:15:19I'm not discussing this anymore.
00:15:20You can rot in here for all I care.
00:15:26So, um, Mona, what do you feel are the biggest problems in your marriage?
00:15:31By the way, he was wearing a suit.
00:15:33How do you know he had a good body?
00:15:34Do you know?
00:15:35No.
00:15:36I bet he's hot.
00:15:37Do I need to say what our biggest problem is, or can everybody figure it out for themselves?
00:15:50Why are you reading that contract?
00:15:52I told you.
00:15:53Lonnie wants me to sign with this new agency.
00:15:55But you didn't say you were seriously thinking about going with him.
00:15:58I know.
00:15:59I know.
00:16:01Just Lonnie's family.
00:16:03You know, he's always been there for me.
00:16:05He paid my rent when I was waiting for my first royalty check.
00:16:08He called me every day when Carl left.
00:16:10I mean, I just owe him so much.
00:16:12Susan, he committed a felony.
00:16:14Okay, who in this room has not committed a felony?
00:16:16Raise your hand.
00:16:17Uh-uh-uh.
00:16:18Not so fast.
00:16:18Your agent represents you.
00:16:21You've got to be able to trust him.
00:16:22How's that going to be possible now?
00:16:25Well, it's possible because I have faith in people.
00:16:28I mean, Lonnie knows you messed up, and he's sorry he's making restitution.
00:16:32What, you don't believe people deserve second chances?
00:16:35Not when they messed up this much, no.
00:16:37Really?
00:16:39So that's it with you?
00:16:40You just get one shot, and you screw up, and you're out?
00:16:42I didn't know you were such a cynic.
00:16:45I'm sorry.
00:16:46All right, I guess it's just the way I'm wired.
00:16:48But I got a job over in Greenwood, so I'll call you later tonight.
00:17:01You okay?
00:17:05Julie.
00:17:08I did something bad.
00:17:09Something really, really bad.
00:17:15Aren't you going to ask me what it was?
00:17:16Do I ever have to?
00:17:19Last week, when Mike and I went to the park searching for Zach, I sort of found him.
00:17:26No.
00:17:26Yes.
00:17:27And I gave him money, and I sent him away.
00:17:29And I didn't tell Mike.
00:17:30Holy crap, what are you going to do?
00:17:33I don't know.
00:17:35What would you do if this happened to you?
00:17:37See, this would never happen to me.
00:17:39This kind of thing only happens to you.
00:17:40Will you stop judging and help me?
00:17:43Well, obviously you're going to have to tell him.
00:17:44Well, I can't do that.
00:17:46You heard what he said about his wiring.
00:17:47I betrayed him.
00:17:48He'll never forgive me.
00:17:49Okay.
00:17:50Don't tell him.
00:17:50Well, how could I not?
00:17:51Zach, I feel so guilty.
00:17:52I can barely look him in the eye when he talks about Zach.
00:17:55So, where do you think Zach went?
00:17:59You tall.
00:18:02Oh, Lord.
00:18:04Why did I do this?
00:18:06I have a feeling you did it for me.
00:18:07Hey, girl.
00:18:28I hope you are in the mood for margaritas,
00:18:31because it is tonight at O'Donnell's.
00:18:33Oh, fun.
00:18:34But I can't go tonight because I promised the twins
00:18:36that I would help them finish their science project.
00:18:40Lynette, if the late hours are going to be an issue for you,
00:18:44we probably should talk about finding you
00:18:47a less demanding account.
00:18:49You're going to take me off-camera off
00:18:51because I won't go drinking with you?
00:18:53Oh, well, God, no, honey.
00:18:55I get it.
00:18:56You have a family.
00:18:57Home has to come first for you.
00:19:00I mean, for me, the client comes first.
00:19:02Being a perfectionist is my own neurotic issue,
00:19:04and I know that I really need to work on that.
00:19:05But trust me, I will never sleep again
00:19:08if this campaign gets mucked up.
00:19:11I'll figure something out.
00:19:13You go home.
00:19:13Have a good night.
00:19:16Nina?
00:19:18Yeah?
00:19:20I can handle the extra hours.
00:19:22Oh, Lynette, you sure?
00:19:25Yeah.
00:19:26I'll get my coat.
00:19:30Wow, this place is rowdy after happy hour, huh?
00:19:33Yeah.
00:19:35Hey.
00:19:36Look at that guy.
00:19:37Right there, the end of the bar,
00:19:39the shoulders with the tan jacket.
00:19:41Yeah?
00:19:42Go get him for me.
00:19:43Okay?
00:19:47Oh, man.
00:19:48I don't know.
00:19:50See?
00:20:04Oh.
00:20:05Oh.
00:20:06Oh, no.
00:20:06No, no, no, nothing.
00:20:07Okay.
00:20:08Hey, there.
00:20:24So, they're going on about Melanie Foster on the news.
00:20:30It's time we talked about her, Caleb.
00:20:32Until you start accepting responsibility for what happened,
00:20:39you know I can't let you out of here.
00:20:50What the hell is this?
00:20:51Mom!
00:20:54Where are you?
00:20:55I'll be right back.
00:20:58And I will expect you to answer me.
00:21:00Where are you?
00:21:02I'm coming!
00:21:03I'm coming!
00:21:10What were you going to do with this?
00:21:12Don't do it.
00:21:13I know who really killed Melanie Foster.
00:21:15You've arrested the wrong man.
00:21:16What are you thinking?
00:21:17The police need to know the truth.
00:21:19The hell they do!
00:21:20This is our chance!
00:21:23Don't let an innocent man go to jail.
00:21:25You want to do the right thing?
00:21:26Well, then call 911 and tell them you got a killer locked up in the basement.
00:21:29He is not a killer.
00:21:30He was confused.
00:21:32He didn't know what he was doing.
00:21:34He knows a lot more than you give him credit for.
00:21:37I'm mailing the letter.
00:21:39Do you realize what's going to happen?
00:21:41Mom, are you thinking this through?
00:21:44I'm mailing the letter.
00:21:46If you do, you better hope to God they don't find us.
00:21:52Because they're not going to care how slow Caleb is.
00:21:54You'll just execute him.
00:21:56Lonnie, are you here?
00:22:24It's Susan.
00:22:26Lonnie?
00:22:28Susan, what are you doing here?
00:22:31Well, I just came over to give you the contracts.
00:22:33Your door was open.
00:22:35Oh, great.
00:22:38Sorry this place is such a mess.
00:22:41I've been working here till we get the new offices painted.
00:22:44Wait till you see them.
00:22:45They're going to be really beautiful.
00:22:49Where's Jeannie?
00:22:51She's with the kids up in Minnesota visiting her mom.
00:22:53They love it up there.
00:22:56I keep changing the date I'm dear old dad.
00:23:04There's no electricity.
00:23:05There isn't?
00:23:06I'm such a dummy.
00:23:09I've been so swamped I must have forgotten to pay the electric bill.
00:23:15Lonnie, how much financial trouble are you really in?
00:23:20I'm fine.
00:23:24You know what it is?
00:23:27I had to pay all those people back at the same time, restitution plus interest.
00:23:31It's not something I'd recommend.
00:23:33It sucks you dry.
00:23:36I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to tell me the truth.
00:23:40Did you steal from me?
00:23:42Absolutely not.
00:23:43Please don't lie.
00:23:45Just tell me.
00:23:47Is that what you want to hear?
00:23:49Do I have to say it so that we can move on?
00:23:55Fine.
00:23:56I did it.
00:23:57But yours was the first money I paid back so the slate's been wiped clean.
00:24:01Let's just move past it.
00:24:03Suze.
00:24:06I'm sorry.
00:24:07I just can't trust you anymore.
00:24:08Yes, you can!
00:24:09No, I can't.
00:24:10You can.
00:24:11You can't.
00:24:12Give me the contract!
00:24:13No!
00:24:16Okay.
00:24:17Okay.
00:24:18Fine.
00:24:20Mom!
00:24:21What are you doing?
00:24:22Are you trying to take me down with you?
00:24:24I am not going down!
00:24:26Ow!
00:24:27My life is great!
00:24:29I have never been happier!
00:24:31And I've never been fitter!
00:24:34Get off me, you Amazon!
00:24:48What are you doing here?
00:24:49You left me a message.
00:24:50You said you wanted to talk?
00:24:52Yeah, I thought you'd schedule an appointment later.
00:24:55Right now, I'm sort of disgusting and sweaty.
00:24:58I'm a criminal lawyer.
00:25:00I've seen worse.
00:25:10So, did you find a new lawyer for Mr. Charming?
00:25:13I don't want a new lawyer.
00:25:14I want you.
00:25:15So does Carlos.
00:25:16He just doesn't realize it yet.
00:25:17It's a 1988 Romany Conti La Tache.
00:25:20I'm impressed.
00:25:21Look, to be honest, Carlos is a little threatened by you.
00:25:24He thinks if we spend too much time together that something might happen.
00:25:29Somebody's got an active imagination.
00:25:31Cork's true.
00:25:33David, we're not here to drink wine, okay?
00:25:36This is business.
00:25:37Now, you have to convince Carlos that he can trust you.
00:25:41How am I going to do that?
00:25:43I don't know.
00:25:44Tell him you're happily married or gay.
00:25:47Yeah, right.
00:25:49You're a lawyer.
00:25:50You lie to juries all the time.
00:25:52Can't you just make something up?
00:25:53I passed the point in my career where I have to beg for work.
00:25:55I'm sorry.
00:25:56Okay, David.
00:25:57I'm holding my marriage together by my fingernails.
00:25:59If Carlos serves his full sentence, I don't think we're going to make it.
00:26:02So, please, I need you.
00:26:04I'll say this much for Carlos.
00:26:06He's got excellent taste.
00:26:09In wine.
00:26:11Montrachet.
00:26:12It's good stuff.
00:26:13Are you going to help me or not?
00:26:16We'll go see Carlos tomorrow.
00:26:17I'll turn him around for you.
00:26:19Really?
00:26:20What are you going to say?
00:26:21Play it by ear.
00:26:22I don't want to sound too overhearsed.
00:26:25Hey, that's my wine.
00:26:26Get deducted from my bill.
00:26:32It all started with bad real estate investments.
00:26:36You should have just come clean.
00:26:39Yeah, well, if you tell one lie, the second one comes easy.
00:26:43Then you're making up new lies to cover up the old ones.
00:26:46Pretty soon you can't turn back, you know?
00:26:48I do.
00:26:51When Jeannie finally caught on, she took the kids, she took the furniture, the bank locked
00:26:59me out of my own house.
00:27:01Wow.
00:27:04That's why I can't lose you as a client.
00:27:08Well, I'm sorry, but you have.
00:27:11I don't blame you.
00:27:13You'll never lose my friendship, though.
00:27:16I mean that.
00:27:17Really?
00:27:18Of course.
00:27:19You're my Lonnie.
00:27:22You're my Susie.
00:27:24You're my Susie.
00:27:26Oh, what the hell is wrong with you?
00:27:33I'm your Lonnie, that's what you said.
00:27:35Not like that.
00:27:36But I thought, I mean, there's always been this magnetism.
00:27:40No, there has not been and there never will be.
00:27:43Oh my God.
00:27:44But I was just coming clean.
00:27:47Hey, Morgan.
00:27:52I got a letter from some guy claiming he attacked Melanie Foster.
00:27:57You ran me down for that?
00:27:59I got dozens of kooks coming out of the woodwork, all saying we arrested the wrong guy.
00:28:03This one knows about the axe.
00:28:04Here you go, Mrs. Vandekamp.
00:28:19Uh, the hearse is right outside, so if you'll just follow me.
00:28:20Oh, shoot.
00:28:21There's a form I need you to sign.
00:28:22I think I left it back in the office.
00:28:23That's all right.
00:28:24I'll wait.
00:28:25Okay.
00:28:26I'm here, sweetheart.
00:28:27And I'm gonna take care of everything.
00:28:29But you knew that, didn't you?
00:28:30You've always known that you can count on me.
00:28:31Mrs. Vandekamp.
00:28:32Detective Barton, what are you doing here?
00:28:33Oh, I'm just taking care of some business.
00:28:34Is this...
00:28:35Yes.
00:28:36This is Rex.
00:28:37I-I want to thank you again for what you did.
00:28:40It was so fun.
00:28:41I'm here, sweetheart.
00:28:42And I'm gonna take care of everything.
00:28:46But you knew that, didn't you?
00:28:48You've always known that you can count on me.
00:28:51Mrs. Vandekamp.
00:28:52Detective Barton, what are you doing here?
00:28:55Oh, I'm just taking care of some business.
00:28:58Is this...
00:28:59Yes.
00:29:00This is Rex.
00:29:02I-I want to thank you again for what you did.
00:29:06It was so refreshing to be treated with kindness after weeks of just ludicrous accusations.
00:29:12The doctor doesn't think they're ludicrous.
00:29:14Well, I know, but Rex died in his care.
00:29:16I mean, of course, he'd like to blame someone else.
00:29:18But the tests he did, uh...
00:29:20Oh, please don't talk to me about tests.
00:29:22Rex was not poisoned.
00:29:23And no one I know believes that he was.
00:29:26Rex did.
00:29:28What?
00:29:29Well, the doctor told Rex he was being poisoned, and-and Rex believed him.
00:29:33How would you know that?
00:29:35Oh!
00:29:45Where did you get this?
00:29:47We found that in Rex's bed after he died.
00:29:48That is his handwriting, isn't it?
00:29:50You know what I think?
00:30:02Rex...
00:30:03I felt guilty for the way he treated you.
00:30:06The adultery.
00:30:07The public humiliations.
00:30:09That's why he forgave you.
00:30:10He understood why you did it.
00:30:12How could he have believed this?
00:30:16But my wife cheated on me, too.
00:30:19I know...
00:30:20How much it hurts.
00:30:22And so will a judge.
00:30:24Everyone understands crimes of passion.
00:30:28But every day that you stole the wall makes you look more and more like a cold, calculating killer.
00:30:35We both know that's not you.
00:30:37But I can't help you unless you start telling the truth.
00:30:42I'm sorry, but I-I-I have to go.
00:30:55I have some things that I need to take care of.
00:30:59Breathe.
00:31:00It is obvious your husband loved you very much.
00:31:06Don't you think you owe to him to admit the truth?
00:31:09Detective, I know exactly what my husband deserves.
00:31:11Now, would you be a dear?
00:31:29What's he doing here?
00:31:36I have a pitch for you.
00:31:39I want to explain to you why I think it's in your best interest if he could allow me to represent you.
00:31:44Oh, for Pete's sake, Carlos, at least listen to the man.
00:31:49I guess it beats sitting in my cell.
00:31:52Now, I don't think you have a problem with me as a lawyer.
00:31:56Clearly, I'm the real deal.
00:31:57I sense your problem with me is more personal.
00:32:00You sense right?
00:32:01You want to know if I'm interested in sleeping with your wife?
00:32:05Well, the answer's yes.
00:32:14Carlos, he's kidding.
00:32:18Tell him you're kidding.
00:32:19Shut it.
00:32:21Now, clearly, Gabrielle is willful, self-centered, and manipulative.
00:32:25She's also beautiful enough to be worth the trouble.
00:32:28So the minute we leave this room, I'm going to aggressively pursue her.
00:32:31And when I succeed, which I will, we're going to fly to my chateau in Chamonix and have dinner in our local bistro.
00:32:35They make the best raclette in all of Europe.
00:32:37I'll make love by the fire and afterwards do a little midnight skiing.
00:32:40You ski, don't you?
00:32:41You're athletic.
00:32:42You'll learn.
00:32:43Anyway, all of this only happens if you fire me.
00:32:47If you keep me on as your lawyer, your wife's off limits.
00:32:49I'd get this barred for sleeping with the client's wife, and nobody's worth that, not even her.
00:32:56So that's my pitch.
00:32:58I'll let you think about it.
00:33:01Honey, I am so sorry.
00:33:04Obviously, that guy's insane.
00:33:06Well, you just can't wait, can you?
00:33:09What?
00:33:10He's my lawyer.
00:33:11But Carlos...
00:33:12And that's all there is to it.
00:33:13How about a dance?
00:33:14How about it?
00:33:15Yes.
00:33:16Oh, you guys have fun.
00:33:17This is the fifth night in a row I haven't been home to tuck in my kids, so...
00:33:29I'm gonna go.
00:33:30No.
00:33:31You're gonna stay put.
00:33:32It is Friday night and you have all weekend to play with your kids.
00:33:35Watch my purse.
00:33:37I'm gonna go...
00:33:38I'm gonna go.
00:33:39No.
00:33:40I'm gonna go.
00:33:41You're gonna stay put.
00:33:42It is Friday night and you have all weekend to play with your kids.
00:33:44Kids, watch my purse.
00:33:59Hey.
00:34:01I'm Chuck.
00:34:02Chuck, I'm going to stop you right there.
00:34:05Happily married.
00:34:06Well, looks like we have got something in common.
00:34:11Chuck, get your hand off my thigh.
00:34:20No, not up my thigh.
00:34:23Off it.
00:34:24Come on, what's the matter with you?
00:34:26I'm not available, and I'm not that easy.
00:34:28Well, what are you doing in a pickup bar at 10.30 at night?
00:34:30Well, I don't usually do this.
00:34:33Oh, come on, honey.
00:34:34Who are you kidding?
00:34:35I've seen you here every night this week.
00:34:36You're a regular.
00:34:38At that moment, it occurred to Lynette that Chuck,
00:34:41though inebriated, had a valid point.
00:34:44The time had come to declare a war of independence,
00:34:48and the surest path to victory
00:34:50would require an aggressive campaign
00:34:54of shock and awe.
00:34:57You've got to be a regular.
00:35:00You've got to be a regular.
00:35:01That's not a big thing.
00:35:05I can't wait till I see you again.
00:35:10Hey, yeah.
00:35:12I want to work on my, my, my, my position.
00:35:17I want to work on my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my.
00:35:24kitsch it.
00:35:37You, yeah.
00:35:41I want to work on my, my, my, my, my to.
00:35:47I want to work on my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my thing.
00:35:49it's crazy here tonight don't you want to dance no thanks I think I'll sit this one out
00:36:04Lynette savored her victory confident that she would never again have to engage her opponent
00:36:10on this particular battlefield I love this song here hold my purse
00:36:19where have you been we were starting to get worried I'm sorry I was just attending to some
00:36:34last-minute details right this way where are we going to Rex's gravesite well I thought this was
00:36:40his gravesite I'm changing it why well he did something to upset me and I want him gone
00:36:44what did he do you know it's so unpleasant I'd rather not get into it
00:36:48have you seen these gravestones some are from the 1800s just fascinating wait wait you're
00:36:53gonna have to explain Rex is dead what could he have done to upset you my husband the man I spent
00:37:02my life with for 18 years died thinking that I murdered him what yes the cardiologist shared
00:37:08this moronic theory with Rex and Rex believed him are you sure yes because he left a note and it said
00:37:14and I quote Brie I understand and I forgive you I spent 18 years of my life with this man how could
00:37:25he not know me maybe he was forgiving you for something else I have done nothing to be forgiven for I was a
00:37:37fantastic wife when he was sick I nursed him when we were low on money I stayed within a budget I cooked
00:37:44his meals I mended his clothes for the love of God I used to check his back for acne son of a bitch has
00:37:53the nerve to understand and forgive me well that jokes on him because I do not understand and I do not
00:37:58forgive hi we're we're just going to a funeral wait this way
00:38:10honey I know you're hurt but are you sure you're not going to change your mind I mean there's no
00:38:26turning back after this if you think I'm gonna lay next to someone for eternity who thinks I'm a
00:38:30murderer you're crazy as far as I'm concerned let him decompose with strangers everyone in the world
00:38:51needs someone they can depend on be they faithful friends determined to advocates
00:39:05or a loving family but occasionally in life the people we thought would always be there for us leave
00:39:15and if that happens it's amazing the lengths we'll go to to get them back
00:39:26previously on desperate housewives my husband died thinking that I murdered him
00:39:37Bri put the past behind her if you keep me on as your lawyer your wife's off lines he's my lawyer
00:39:42while Carlos gambled with his future how much money do you think you'll need to get to you
00:39:46Susan interfered with a family reunion George Williams had never been lucky in love it seemed that the
00:39:57women he dated always invented reasons not to consummate their relationships I'm afraid we'd wake my
00:40:06little mate I have to get up really early for work I'm saving myself for marriage sadly for George it was one
00:40:24unoriginal excuse after another but since he'd started seeing Bree Vandekamp George couldn't help but feel
00:40:35hi the kids are gone we have the house all to ourselves tonight his luck was about to change
00:40:42I thought the duck turned out well although the sauce was a little bit thick but judging by how
00:40:49many helpings you had I think I got away with it what are you thinking about your hair
00:41:00would you mind if I uh no go ahead
00:41:07that better
00:41:15that was nice
00:41:29it's okay that I'm doing this right well I thought we were gonna let the duck digest a bit
00:41:40more but what the heck oh what's wrong I don't know I felt something weird oh that was my tongue
00:41:49it extends farther than most I should have warned you no no no wasn't your kiss I felt something
00:41:53weird on my neck
00:41:54what are you doing I don't know I'm just really starting to itch
00:42:04what is it you you've got a huge rash
00:42:15oh it's starting to spread to my face are you allergic to something you ate oh I don't think so I mean I've made duck la ronge a thousand times something is
00:42:26what's causing that rash
00:42:27brie brie please don't I'm sorry george but you have to go
00:42:32but the kids are away I was sort of hoping we could make love tonight
00:42:36how are we gonna do that george you have just given me hives
00:42:38though painful to hear george had to admit at least this excuse was original
00:42:47so
00:42:52so
00:42:59so
00:43:04so
00:43:08It's a fact that little girls dream of big white weddings.
00:43:32Of course, the exact same thing can be said for big girls.
00:43:38Some of whom can get incredibly anxious, waiting for the boys in their lives to make those
00:43:46dreams come true.
00:43:47Watch it, Susie.
00:43:50Mom, why don't you just go see a dressmaker?
00:43:52Wait, I have the perfect idea.
00:43:55You get in the dress and I'll pin it.
00:43:58We wear the same size.
00:44:00Since when?
00:44:01Since forever.
00:44:02You have to leave, though.
00:44:04You can't stay.
00:44:05You can't see Susie in the wedding dress.
00:44:07Not until your big day.
00:44:08Mom?
00:44:09No, it's not a problem.
00:44:11I can see her in it.
00:44:13You can?
00:44:14You can?
00:44:15I assume you'll want to pick out your own wedding dress when we get married, right?
00:44:20That sounds like a proposal.
00:44:22Did it?
00:44:23Yeah, it did.
00:44:24Huh.
00:44:25What do you know?
00:44:26Are you planning to pop the question?
00:44:29Well, if she knows it's coming, the question won't really pop now, will it?
00:44:33Oh, he's right, Mom.
00:44:34Oh, I want it to be just like you do.
00:44:36You know, on your own terms and you get down on one knee in the whole production.
00:44:39That's the plan.
00:44:40Well, then I can wait.
00:44:41I can wait.
00:44:42I'm a good waiter.
00:44:43Good.
00:44:44Just wondering if there's a ballpark of how long I will have to wait.
00:44:48A week, a month, after lunch?
00:44:49Again, you're not waiting for the pop.
00:44:51Right.
00:44:52Right.
00:44:53I'm sorry.
00:44:58So the hives occurred right after you kissed George.
00:45:02Yes, it was the strangest thing.
00:45:04And so inconvenient.
00:45:07To be honest, I think we were about to make love for the first time.
00:45:11Bree, have you considered the idea that your subconscious mind was trying to sabotage your evening with George?
00:45:17Actually, I have not considered that because that's idiotic.
00:45:21You don't think being with George made you feel a bit guilty?
00:45:24Why should I feel guilty?
00:45:26Perhaps you felt you were about to commit adultery.
00:45:28Dr. Goldfein, Rex is dead.
00:45:30You can't cheat on a corpse.
00:45:35Well, maybe that's not how you really feel deep down.
00:45:37Oh, so you think I'm crazy?
00:45:40You say you got a case of hives for no reason.
00:45:42I think there is a reason, and it's probably a psychosomatic one.
00:45:46You can think whatever you want, but to be honest, I don't believe in the subconscious.
00:45:50Every time you've said Rex in this session, you've stroked the place where your wedding ring used to be.
00:45:55Why did you do that?
00:46:01Let's talk about Monday.
00:46:02We are re-pitching to the camera off people.
00:46:04Lynette, you'll be on point.
00:46:05Great.
00:46:06Great.
00:46:07No problem.
00:46:08And can you do me a favor and maybe not wear the green suit?
00:46:11Um, I wasn't planning to.
00:46:16Uh, but...
00:46:18Why?
00:46:19The fabric.
00:46:20It just has this quality to it.
00:46:22Like you could, I don't know, wipe it clean with a damp cloth.
00:46:27I'd just wear a different suit then.
00:46:30Great.
00:46:31Like what, you think?
00:46:32Another suit.
00:46:33I have other suits.
00:46:34And if by other suits you mean the gray one, then of course you do.
00:46:39No, actually, I have quite a few others.
00:46:42Uh, the blue one and, uh...
00:46:46What's wrong with the blue suit?
00:46:48Stu!
00:46:49Would you like to tell Lynette what's wrong with the blue suit?
00:46:54No.
00:46:55That's cool.
00:46:56Stu!
00:46:57Come on.
00:46:58Do the thing.
00:46:59The thing that you did at lunch.
00:47:02Look at me.
00:47:03I'm Lynette.
00:47:04Oh, I've got food stains everywhere.
00:47:07Alright, so if I get my blue suit dry clean, will that be acceptable to everyone?
00:47:12The pants also have a split seam in the back.
00:47:22So sweet.
00:47:24Hello, David.
00:47:25What the hell is this?
00:47:27I thought I told you to dress maternal.
00:47:29Yes, you did.
00:47:30And I considered it for about a second.
00:47:32What happened?
00:47:33David, I know you're the lawyer and all, but trust me.
00:47:35It's never a smart strategy to cover this up.
00:47:37We've got 40 minutes before the pretrial hearing.
00:47:39Let's go home and get you changed.
00:47:41What?
00:47:42You wanna get your husband out of jail?
00:47:43You gotta dress like a pregnant suffering wife, not the cover of Vogue.
00:47:46David.
00:47:47Louis.
00:47:48What are you doing here?
00:47:49I need a favor, David.
00:47:50This has to do with lifting my client's restraining order.
00:47:52The answer's the same one you got last week.
00:47:53You don't understand.
00:47:54I love Crystal.
00:47:56We all love the pretty ladies at the Stop and Shop, but now you've got to love her from 50 yards away.
00:48:01You turned her against me.
00:48:03If it wasn't for you, we'd be together.
00:48:04Louis, Crystal hired me to keep you away from her.
00:48:07She doesn't want to see you.
00:48:08Oh, yeah?
00:48:09Then why did she ask for my phone number?
00:48:11She's a cashier.
00:48:12You paid by check.
00:48:13It doesn't make you special.
00:48:14Don't walk away from me.
00:48:15We're having a conversation.
00:48:16Louis, this is your problem.
00:48:18You're creepy.
00:48:19Nobody likes you.
00:48:20What you call a conversation, the rest of us call harassment.
00:48:23You want a friend, get a hamster.
00:48:25David!
00:48:27Ah!
00:48:28Run!
00:48:29Stay there!
00:48:34That's right, you'd better run.
00:48:36I'm gonna get some bullets for this thing and come after you.
00:48:53Freeze!
00:48:54Hey, everything's cool.
00:48:55You okay?
00:48:56Weeds are a common annoyance of life in suburbia.
00:49:15And no matter how hard we try to get rid of them, they always tend to crop back up.
00:49:23Are you seeing this?
00:49:27I don't believe in him.
00:49:29He's so brazen.
00:49:30He's just mowing the lawn like nothing ever happened.
00:49:33What should we do?
00:49:34Should we call the police?
00:49:35Well, Susan did say that he murdered Mrs. Huber, so my vote would be yes.
00:49:39Oh, my God.
00:49:40Susan's home.
00:49:47Has she seen Paul yet?
00:49:53I think so.
00:49:54Hello, Susan.
00:49:55Oh, my God.
00:49:56Paul.
00:49:57Need some help with those bags?
00:49:58Why are you doing here?
00:49:59This is where I live.
00:50:00I came home to find my son.
00:50:02Here you go.
00:50:03No, don't come near me.
00:50:04I'm just giving you back your pie filling.
00:50:05I don't want my pie filling.
00:50:06Oh, come on.
00:50:07Just take it.
00:50:08No, stop.
00:50:09Put that pie filling down.
00:50:10Slowly.
00:50:11I'm calling 911.
00:50:12You don't want to do that.
00:50:13Oh, come on.
00:50:14Just take it.
00:50:15No, stop.
00:50:16Put that pie filling down.
00:50:17Slowly.
00:50:18I'm calling 911.
00:50:19You don't want to do that.
00:50:20Oh, I think I do.
00:50:21You're a cold-blooded murderer.
00:50:22Susan, how can you believe that?
00:50:23We've been neighbors for years.
00:50:24Ladies.
00:50:25Good to see you.
00:50:26Paul, we've called the police.
00:50:27You didn't really need to do that.
00:50:28We know what you did to Mrs. Huber.
00:50:29We know what you did to Mrs. Huber.
00:50:30We know what you did to Mrs. Huber.
00:50:31We know what you did to Mrs. Huber.
00:50:32We know what you did to Mrs. Huber.
00:50:33We know what you did to Mrs. Huber.
00:50:34We know what you did to Mrs. Huber.
00:50:35There you go.
00:50:36There you go.
00:50:37No, don't come near me.
00:50:38I'm just giving you back your pie filling.
00:50:39I'm just giving you back to Mrs. Huber, but I think I didn't know what you had to do to
00:50:41Mrs. Huber, but I didn't know what you did to Mrs. Huber.
00:50:42We know what you did to Mrs. Huber.
00:50:43We know what you did to Mrs. Huber.
00:50:44We know what you did to Mrs. Huber.
00:50:45We know what you did to Mrs. Huber.
00:50:46Wonderful.
00:50:47I see you all turned into Susan while I've been gone.
00:50:51Thank God they're here.
00:51:01Hey, what's going on?
00:51:04Oh, Moyers convinced that Paul Young murdered Martha Huber.
00:51:07Martha Hoover.
00:51:08Oh, my God.
00:51:09I live right behind him.
00:51:10I know.
00:51:11I gave him my half-skies to feed my cat.
00:51:14I win.
00:51:15I made out with him.
00:51:18There's no warrant here for Paul Young.
00:51:20Why don't you ask Mike?
00:51:22He overheard everything, right?
00:51:23Who's Mike?
00:51:24He's my boyfriend.
00:51:25And he told me that Paul confessed everything to him.
00:51:27Oh, and Mike has Martha's journals,
00:51:29which clearly proved that Paul had a motive.
00:51:31All right, all right.
00:51:31Where do I find this Mike guy?
00:51:32Oh, he's, uh, follow me.
00:51:34You mind if I stay here?
00:51:35I've got a lot of raking to do.
00:51:37Let's go.
00:51:46Hey.
00:51:50What's going on?
00:51:51Mike, Paul Young is back.
00:51:54Look.
00:52:04Your girlfriend sent Mr. Young
00:52:05and confessed a murder to you?
00:52:08Um.
00:52:11No.
00:52:12No, not to me.
00:52:13And I don't suppose you have a journal
00:52:14that belonged to a Martha Uber.
00:52:17No.
00:52:18And I hardly knew her.
00:52:20Besides, you ever known a woman
00:52:21who'd loan out her diary?
00:52:22Mike, what are you doing?
00:52:24I'm sorry.
00:52:25Susan, I don't know what you're talking about.
00:52:26But I've got a job to get to.
00:52:29Is there anything else?
00:52:30No.
00:52:30No, that pretty much covers it.
00:52:47Well, someone might as well say it.
00:52:50Susan, what the hell have you been smoking?
00:52:51Okay.
00:52:58Okay.
00:53:01Wow.
00:53:02Nice.
00:53:05Oh, my God.
00:53:06Okay, don't be distracted by that.
00:53:07Look at me.
00:53:08Here I am tomorrow,
00:53:10making my presentation.
00:53:12You see?
00:53:13You see how it moves with me?
00:53:15That's where the magic is.
00:53:18Nine hundred dollars.
00:53:20Yeah, well, this one was the most expensive.
00:53:21The other ones aren't as nice.
00:53:22But look.
00:53:23Look, look, look, look.
00:53:24Look at me.
00:53:24Look at me.
00:53:25Watch.
00:53:25I don't walk in it.
00:53:27I glide.
00:53:30Oh, honey, you know what?
00:53:31There's got to be like $3,000 worth of clothes here.
00:53:34Yeah, well, I haven't bought a new suit in six years.
00:53:37So?
00:53:38When I was working,
00:53:38you don't think I would have loved to have a designer suit?
00:53:41I wore wash and wear
00:53:41so that we could live in a nice neighborhood
00:53:43so we could take the kids on vacation every summer.
00:53:45I mean, I made sacrifices.
00:53:47I'm willing to make sacrifices.
00:53:49Great.
00:53:49Well, let's start here
00:53:50because this should cover a math tutor for Parker.
00:53:54Oh, hold on a sec.
00:53:55Wait, six months of preschool for Penny.
00:53:57All right, now you're being ridiculous.
00:53:58You know what?
00:53:59And the twins, they're going to need braces.
00:54:00That ought to make a dent.
00:54:02Oh, no.
00:54:03Come on, Tom.
00:54:04Not this one.
00:54:07Strip.
00:54:08You saw the walk, right?
00:54:10You want to see the walk again?
00:54:13Oh, tutor Parker myself.
00:54:15Honey, that'd be great.
00:54:17You're also going to take up home dentistry?
00:54:28Fine, I'll take them back.
00:54:32Could you step out for a minute, please?
00:54:36I want to be alone with it for a little while.
00:54:40Hi, it's Bree.
00:54:57Hi.
00:54:59I was thinking about calling you.
00:55:00I just got some new antihistamines in at the store.
00:55:03I think they're really going to help with your rash.
00:55:05Well, great.
00:55:06How would you feel about the two of us checking into a romantic hotel tomorrow?
00:55:11What?
00:55:13I'd like that very much.
00:55:14I will let you make all the arrangements.
00:55:16Something out of town would be nice.
00:55:19Good night.
00:55:19We need to talk.
00:55:36Where did you come from?
00:55:37I'm sorry.
00:55:38I've been waiting for you.
00:55:39I'm just a little upset because everybody thinks I'm crazy.
00:55:41Can I at least get out of the truck first?
00:55:43Yes, definitely.
00:55:44I mean, I can understand why you wouldn't want the cops to know that you kidnapped Paul.
00:55:48I mean, that definitely looks bad.
00:55:50Since I was on probation.
00:55:52Well, right.
00:55:53I mean, there's that.
00:55:54And in possession of a gun.
00:55:56Well, okay.
00:55:56Which I held to his head.
00:55:58So I violated my probation, committed a felony, and coerced a confession.
00:56:02If the cops found out about that, I'd be looking at 10 to 15 years.
00:56:05But why don't you want him to know about Martha Hooper's journal?
00:56:10I mean, she says right in there that she was blackmailing Paul's wife.
00:56:13She also says right in there that she was blackmailing you for burning down Edie's house.
00:56:18Oh.
00:56:20I forgot about that.
00:56:23I just can't believe it.
00:56:27I mean, there he is.
00:56:28A murderer just living right on our street, and there's nothing we can do about it.
00:56:31Because you're a convicted felon, and I burned down that stupid house.
00:56:34It's unfair.
00:56:35I want Paul Young gone as badly as you do.
00:56:37And he will be.
00:56:39But I also want to find Zach.
00:56:40I think once Zach finds out Paul's here, I got a feeling he'll be back.
00:56:47Well, that's comforting to know there's a silver lining.
00:57:00Hi.
00:57:02What are you doing here?
00:57:03Well, you protected me from a hail of gunfire.
00:57:05So I thought I'd stop by and give you a card.
00:57:09You're my first visitor.
00:57:10What do you mean I'm your first visitor?
00:57:11You've been here two days.
00:57:12My office sent me flowers.
00:57:13Dear David, who knew you could actually bleed?
00:57:23Sincerely, your stunned co-workers.
00:57:25Yeah, well, I'm a lawyer who got shot.
00:57:27Everybody's cracking wise.
00:57:29You're not going to eat?
00:57:29Uh, I can't really cut yet.
00:57:31Well, I'm not going to let you starve to death.
00:57:37Besides, you're going to need your strength to get my husband out of jail.
00:57:40You know, I was waiting for the ambulance the other day.
00:57:50I seriously thought I was going to die.
00:57:54I was scared.
00:57:55Of course you were.
00:58:00Thanks.
00:58:03For what?
00:58:04For not making any jokes.
00:58:08Sure.
00:58:09Now, open up.
00:58:11For the good of their family, Lynette had made a promise to her husband.
00:58:36And within ten days from the date of purchase, she intended to keep it.
00:58:51Oh, that's a fantastic suit.
00:58:53Oh, thanks.
00:58:54I'm flattered, really.
00:58:56I mean, who knew that you cared so much about what I think?
00:58:58I don't follow you.
00:59:00Well, I make a few innocent comments and you go out and buy yourself a gorgeous new suit.
00:59:05Dance, puppet, dance.
00:59:07Well, actually, this was already in my closet.
00:59:08I just forgot about it.
00:59:10Forgot?
00:59:11You forgot that you had that suit?
00:59:16Life is great, too.
00:59:17Morning.
00:59:18Hi.
00:59:18Good morning.
00:59:18I'm Lynette Scalvo.
00:59:20Now, is everyone taken care of in terms of coffee and whatever else they may like?
00:59:24Great.
00:59:25Well, then, let's get started.
00:59:26I will show you how Camera Off Vodka can expand its customer mindshare while still holding
00:59:33the line on marketing costs.
00:59:35It's something we here at Percher & Murphy like to call persuasive engineering.
00:59:40Lynette, let's hold on one second.
00:59:47You have a...
00:59:48They put the price tags on the skirts these days, too.
00:59:53Just so you know.
00:59:55Look at that, everybody.
00:59:57Lynette just bought herself a beautiful, brand new suit.
01:00:01Don't you look great?
01:00:06Go on.
01:00:08Okay.
01:00:08You may be seated.
01:00:13Good to see you back on your feet, Mr. Bradley.
01:00:17Whenever you're ready.
01:00:20Thank you, Your Honor.
01:00:23The defense moves to dismiss this case immediately on the grounds that the defendant...
01:00:26Are you all right, Mr. Bradley?
01:00:41I'm sorry, Your Honor.
01:00:42I just can't.
01:00:47I just can't.
01:00:49Mr. Bradley, do you need a recess?
01:00:51What the hell is going on?
01:00:57David, where are you going?
01:00:58I'm sorry, I quit.
01:01:00You can't just quit in the middle of a hearing.
01:01:01I'd love to get your idiot husband out of jail, but I just can't do it.
01:01:04I'm sorry.
01:01:05Why not?
01:01:06Because I'm in love with you.
01:01:07What?
01:01:08The other day in the hospital, I started to feel something.
01:01:10I don't know.
01:01:10Maybe it was there all along.
01:01:13But when I look into your eyes, I know you feel it, too.
01:01:17We belong together.
01:01:18Okay, David, if you don't get back in there right now, I will go get a gun and shoot you myself.
01:01:25I can't.
01:01:27I'm sorry.
01:01:34Come in!
01:01:42We need to talk.
01:01:43Paul, you can't just waltz into people's houses.
01:01:48Susan, you told me to come in.
01:01:50Well, that's because I assumed you were someone I would let in my house.
01:01:52What do you want?
01:01:53I was looking through my mail, and I found this.
01:01:57I was surprised to discover that you were looking for my son.
01:02:01You didn't happen to find anything out about where Zach might be, did you?
01:02:04No.
01:02:05No, I didn't.
01:02:07Sorry, I can't help you out.
01:02:09I'm asking because if you remember, Zach hid here in this house before, and now I learn
01:02:15that you've been searching for him.
01:02:16Well, he's not here.
01:02:18Hmm.
01:02:19Well, maybe we should double check.
01:02:22But he's not here.
01:02:23I swear.
01:02:25What are you grabbing for?
01:02:28A knife.
01:02:31I just want to slice some tomatoes.
01:02:32I don't know how I know this, but I think that he's in Utah.
01:02:47He took a bus to Bountiful.
01:02:49Did you have family there, right?
01:02:53Okay, I gave him the bus fare.
01:02:54You might want to be careful with that.
01:03:10You seem a little jittery.
01:03:20Look, I know the timing is bad.
01:03:22Pretty bad.
01:03:23I feel terrible.
01:03:25How was I supposed to know that he would take a bullet and suddenly realize he's in love
01:03:28with me?
01:03:30Okay, look, I know I pushed you into hiring that creep, but I promise I will do anything
01:03:35I can to fix this.
01:03:37All right, go have sex with Bradley.
01:03:40What?
01:03:41Well, that's what you want me to say, isn't it?
01:03:43God, you guys are good.
01:03:45I mean, you set me up perfectly.
01:03:46You think David and I planned this so we could sleep together?
01:03:49Well, let's see, the guy tells me to my face that he wants to get into your pants.
01:03:51He quits a week before my trial, and now you can't wait to do anything to get him back?
01:03:57Yeah.
01:03:59I'd like to go back to jail now.
01:04:00How dare you think that of me?
01:04:02I have been nothing but faithful to you since you've been in here.
01:04:06Save it.
01:04:07I know when I've been out, Fox.
01:04:09And please don't pretend that you're doing this for me, because I'd rather rot in here.
01:04:13And you know what?
01:04:13A lesser woman would let you rot in here, but I'm not going to do that.
01:04:16I'm not going to give you the satisfaction.
01:04:17So you better start packing up your shanks or whatever you people make in here, because
01:04:21you're coming on with me.
01:04:22I don't have any shanks.
01:04:31Let's go.
01:04:34Good afternoon.
01:04:35Checking in?
01:04:36Yes.
01:04:36Reservations under the name of Williams.
01:04:38George Williams.
01:04:39Let me get your paperwork.
01:04:40So what do you want to do first?
01:04:41I don't know.
01:04:42I thought maybe we could go antiquing.
01:04:45I hear you have some lovely museums nearby.
01:04:47Do you have any brochures?
01:04:48Right over there, Mrs. Williams.
01:04:50Oh, uh, she's not my wife.
01:04:52I'm so sorry.
01:04:58So I hear that they have a terrific farmer's market nearby.
01:05:02We should pick up some nectarines.
01:05:04George, I can't.
01:05:07What?
01:05:07I can't stay in a hotel room with you.
01:05:09Why not?
01:05:10Because I'm starting to get that rash again.
01:05:12Well, I brought the unahistamines.
01:05:14Oh, please, it's not going to help, George.
01:05:15Clearly this is psychosomatic.
01:05:17We need to go home.
01:05:18I mean, we just drove three hours to get here.
01:05:21I know, and you have every right to be mad, but, George, I'm really starting to itch.
01:05:26Is there a problem?
01:05:27Uh, no, there's no problem.
01:05:29Everything is fine.
01:05:30Okay, okay, okay, okay.
01:05:31Uh, uh, I'll get you your own rum.
01:05:33George.
01:05:34No, no, no, no.
01:05:34We can still have a nice weekend.
01:05:35We'll just shift the focus to antiquing.
01:05:37Please.
01:05:38I mean, clearly you didn't come here to shop.
01:05:40No, I came to spend time with you.
01:05:41Time that does not need to be spent in a bed.
01:05:44Really?
01:05:45You mean that you wouldn't mind?
01:05:47No.
01:05:48You know what, George?
01:05:49We're going to have a great time, because there's tons of fun stuff we can do that doesn't involve sex.
01:05:55You betcha.
01:05:56While I take care of this, why don't you go get those brochures?
01:05:59Okay.
01:05:59Okay.
01:06:01George.
01:06:02You won't believe it.
01:06:03I just stopped itching.
01:06:05How about that?
01:06:06Nice suit.
01:06:16Just hear me out.
01:06:17I was going to take it back, I swear.
01:06:19What?
01:06:19But then I started thinking about it.
01:06:21And you know what?
01:06:22I'll be damned if I'm going to pitch to a room full of people who are all wearing Armani and Vera Wang
01:06:26while I'm standing there with two-year-old breast milk crusted on my lapel.
01:06:30Lynette, we...
01:06:30And you know what else?
01:06:31I kicked ass in that meeting because of this suit.
01:06:35Lynette, it is a suit.
01:06:37Why are you so obsessed with it?
01:06:39You can't explain obsession, Tom.
01:06:40It just is.
01:06:42No.
01:06:42We are parents.
01:06:43We can't afford the luxury of obsessions.
01:06:45See?
01:06:46That's where I think we have been making a terrible, terrible mistake.
01:06:54What is this?
01:06:56Sometimes we just need to get something that makes us happy.
01:07:00I know that sounds selfish, but I've been thinking it might make us better people.
01:07:04And maybe even better parents.
01:07:08No.
01:07:09No, Lynette.
01:07:10No.
01:07:10This is wrong.
01:07:16Carbon fiber shafts.
01:07:20I feel like a better parent already.
01:07:45Oh, yeah.
01:07:46So I was talking to one of the bellmen, and he said there's a place not far from here where
01:07:51we could go horseback riding.
01:07:52Doesn't that sound like fun?
01:07:56George?
01:07:58What?
01:07:58I'm sorry.
01:07:59I was saying I think we should go horseback riding.
01:08:03Oh, sure.
01:08:03That'd be great.
01:08:07What's wrong?
01:08:08Nothing.
01:08:09I just don't think that we should risk you getting another rash.
01:08:12Well, I'm not going to get a rash just by holding your hand.
01:08:15You never know.
01:08:17Oh.
01:08:19Well, okay.
01:08:26Hey, uh, I brought those antihistamines with me.
01:08:29Maybe you should take a couple just to see if it works.
01:08:32Oh, well, I'm drinking wine.
01:08:34I don't think you're supposed to mix pills with alcohol.
01:08:37That's for people who are about to use heavy machinery.
01:08:40You don't plan on operating a forklift tonight, do you?
01:08:44Well, you're the pharmacist.
01:08:45If you think it's okay.
01:08:47I do.
01:08:48Okay.
01:08:49I'm going to take you to your room.
01:09:12Then we're going to get you into bed.
01:09:14Is she going to be okay?
01:09:15Yeah, she's just had a little too much wine.
01:09:17I don't think it was the wine, George.
01:09:20I think it was the antihistamines.
01:09:23She doesn't know what she's doing.
01:09:25We're good.
01:09:30No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:09:37I'll get those.
01:09:37You just relax.
01:09:38I love you very much, Brie.
01:09:47You know that, right?
01:09:49I know.
01:09:57I want more than anything for you to love me back.
01:10:03You understand what I'm saying?
01:10:07Brie?
01:10:08Hey there.
01:10:36How you feeling?
01:10:38Oh.
01:10:39Okay.
01:10:40Have you been sitting there all this time?
01:10:45I wanted to make sure you were okay.
01:10:47So I stayed and watched you sleep.
01:10:49Did I do anything embarrassing?
01:10:51Sometimes I snore.
01:10:52No.
01:10:53No, you slept like an angel.
01:10:56In fact, you were so beautiful and peaceful, I actually started to feel guilty.
01:11:01Guilty?
01:11:02Um, well, you know, because I told you to take those pills.
01:11:06That chair looks so uncomfortable.
01:11:08Why didn't you sleep next to me?
01:11:10Well, you made it pretty clear that you don't want me in your bed.
01:11:13George.
01:11:14I know what you want from me, and I thought I wanted the same thing, but I keep getting
01:11:26those rashes because I still feel married.
01:11:33Makes sense, I guess.
01:11:36Can't you just be patient?
01:11:39Can't you wait just a little bit longer?
01:11:43I've already waited my whole life for you.
01:11:45And I can wait a little more.
01:11:47Well, let's be honest.
01:11:50There's no guarantee that you'll ever be ready.
01:11:54There's only so much rejection I can take.
01:11:59So, I'll do my best, but don't be surprised if one of these days you wake up and I'm not here.
01:12:10Well, I should get back to my room and try to get a little sleep.
01:12:17The antique store is open at 10.
01:12:19George, wait.
01:12:24Please don't go.
01:12:27Stay here with me.
01:12:47But what if you get another rash?
01:12:50Well, I'll just have to get over it, won't I?
01:12:55I'll just have to get over it.
01:12:59Oh, my God.
01:13:14I'll do it.
01:13:15I'll be sure.
01:13:18No, I'll keep going.
01:13:24Gabrielle, I got your call.
01:13:46Wow.
01:13:47Is this mean what I think it means?
01:13:49There are some ground rules first.
01:13:52I'm not leaving my husband.
01:13:55Carlos is looking at spending eight years in jail because of my lapse of judgment with the gardener.
01:14:00I can't let him rot in there. I'd be filled with guilt.
01:14:03You could get him out and then divorce, huh?
01:14:06Not an option. I'm Catholic, hence the guilt.
01:14:10So what are our options?
01:14:13This, us, stolen moments. Seeing each other whenever we can, Carlos never needs to know.
01:14:21No.
01:14:24I thought this is what you wanted.
01:14:27I want all of you.
01:14:30All or nothing.
01:14:32Then it's nothing.
01:14:33So you won't get a divorce, but you'll have an affair.
01:14:42I said I was Catholic, not a fanatic.
01:14:46You know, David, you could tell me to stop.
01:14:49Just tell me to stop and I will.
01:14:51Or you can have me right now.
01:14:55On my terms.
01:15:00Fine.
01:15:03Ow, ow, ow, ow.
01:15:05Ow!
01:15:06What are you doing?
01:15:06Making my point?
01:15:08You don't love me.
01:15:09Ah, yes, I do.
01:15:11No, you just agreed to an affair.
01:15:14A cheap, illicit affair with a woman you love?
01:15:16Carlos would never share me.
01:15:19He's looking at eight years in prison because a mere thought of it sent him into a violent rage.
01:15:23That is love.
01:15:24This is just lust.
01:15:26Mixed with post-traumatic stress.
01:15:27I will see you in court tomorrow at 10 a.m.
01:15:31And don't be late, or else I'll have you disbarred for sexual harassment.
01:15:47I'd take it easy with that snail poison.
01:15:50It's hell on your agapathos.
01:15:53Thanks, I'll keep that in mind.
01:15:55Is that why you stopped by?
01:15:57Sure?
01:15:57A few gardening tips?
01:15:59Nobody wants you here, Paul.
01:16:02Especially me.
01:16:04I'm just a father looking for a son.
01:16:06Oh, I know what you are.
01:16:10First, your girlfriend tries to run me off with some crazy story about sending Zach to Utah.
01:16:15Now you're here trying to scare me away.
01:16:18So much for love thy neighbor.
01:16:22Anyway, thanks for the advice.
01:16:25About my agapanthas, I mean.
01:16:26I'll make sure I send you some.
01:16:28What did Susan tell you?
01:16:32Oh, you look beautiful.
01:16:38Oh, you should really consider wearing this when you marry Mike.
01:16:43We could make it a family tradition.
01:16:45Why don't we both stop getting divorced?
01:16:47That would be a nice family tradition.
01:16:48Oh, I need to ask you something important.
01:16:53Oh, my God.
01:16:56Oh, this is it.
01:16:58Oh, let me get my camera.
01:17:00Oh, no.
01:17:00Mom, stop.
01:17:03What is it?
01:17:04Did you give Zach money to go to Utah?
01:17:06What?
01:17:11Yes or no.
01:17:15He was talking so much about Julie.
01:17:19I tried to get him to come home with me.
01:17:21To you.
01:17:23But he just kept going on and on about her and I got scared.
01:17:27Yes or no.
01:17:28Mike, Mike, I didn't do it to hurt you.
01:17:37You've got to believe me.
01:17:38I should have told you right away.
01:17:41I know that.
01:17:41But you know now.
01:17:42So can we please talk about it?
01:17:44No.
01:17:45Mike, stop.
01:17:46Susan, you said you wanted to help me.
01:17:48And I believed you.
01:17:49That's it.
01:17:50We're done.
01:17:50I screwed up, okay?
01:18:00I want to fix it.
01:18:01Please let me fix it.
01:18:02Tell me how to fix it.
01:18:06Mike, I love you.
01:18:12Please, no.
01:18:13Please.
01:18:15Please.
01:18:17No, Mike, Mike, please.
01:18:19Come back.
01:18:21Come back.
01:18:22Come back.
01:18:49Yes, every little girl dreams of a big white wedding.
01:19:06But some dreams just don't come true.