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  • 6/19/2025
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00:00:01Previously on Desperate Housewives...
00:00:03Does she know you killed your wife?
00:00:05Secrets were uncovered.
00:00:06Honey, I'm home.
00:00:07Carlos came back.
00:00:08Whatever you want to do, I'm in your corner.
00:00:10Lynette made a promise.
00:00:12Mr. Flutie.
00:00:13I love him and he loves me!
00:00:14And Brie's daughter fell for her history teacher.
00:00:17While Mike's history...
00:00:19He suffered significant memory loss.
00:00:21...was being carefully rewritten.
00:00:23Susan Meyer.
00:00:24We were close, huh?
00:00:25That tramp treated you like dirt.
00:00:30The art of sabotage.
00:00:32It's practiced every day in the suburbs.
00:00:35Sometimes it takes the form of a bund cake...
00:00:38Offered to a friend...
00:00:40Who's on a diet.
00:00:42Other times it's a cable...
00:00:44Cut just as a husband's friends arrive...
00:00:46To watch the big game.
00:00:48And there's always that anonymous phone call...
00:00:51To the city's zoning department.
00:00:54Yes, in suburbia...
00:00:56Everyone you meet is a potential saboteur.
00:00:59Absolutely...
00:01:01Everyone.
00:01:03Good afternoon.
00:01:04I'm Brie Hodge.
00:01:05And you are?
00:01:06Name's Gus, and we're all booked up.
00:01:08Actually, Gus, I'm here to see one of your guests.
00:01:11A gentleman named Filati.
00:01:13Oh, they came in about an hour ago.
00:01:15You want me to call him for you?
00:01:16No, no, no, no.
00:01:17I'd like you to take me to his room and unlock it...
00:01:19So I can walk in unannounced.
00:01:21I can't do that.
00:01:23Besides, he has a girl in there.
00:01:25Yes, I know.
00:01:26She's my daughter.
00:01:28My 17-year-old daughter.
00:01:30Yeah, that would be room 17.
00:01:34There's irony for you.
00:01:36You don't have a gun in there, do you?
00:01:38Because they just put down a new carpet.
00:01:40Gus, I don't plan anything unpleasant.
00:01:42I'm simply going to inform Mr. Filati what repercussions he faces if he continues this relationship.
00:01:48And trust him to see reason.
00:01:54What the hell?
00:01:56Mom, what are you doing here?
00:01:58You just have to do this to me.
00:02:00What makes you think that you're gonna want me in the room?
00:02:02Yes, the art of sabotage.
00:02:04It's practiced every day in the suburbs.
00:02:12So, how'd it go?
00:02:14Quite well, I think.
00:02:16But few do it as well as Brie Hodge.
00:02:20Oh, and Gus, the carpet is beautiful.
00:02:24Or as politely.
00:02:26Or as politely.
00:02:28Or as politely.
00:02:30Or as everyone can see.
00:02:32On top of the person named here for breakfast.
00:02:36Okay, we'll make a look.
00:02:38This is Makinginch.
00:02:40How'd it go?
00:02:42He can do it.
00:02:43He can have never Sneak!
00:02:45In a few days.
00:02:47He can throw up on your truck.
00:02:49Hopefully I'll get in the room.
00:02:52I can throw up on my car.
00:02:55One time I'll get every night.
00:02:56Family dinner.
00:03:09There was a time when that phrase meant something on Wisteria Lane.
00:03:13Of course, this was back when meals were lovingly prepared.
00:03:18By wives who loved to cook.
00:03:21For children who remembered their manners.
00:03:26But family dinners, like the times, had changed.
00:03:31And there was only one house in the neighborhood where dinner remained a family occasion.
00:03:39And attendance was not optional.
00:03:44I don't know when I've tasted such tender spring lamb.
00:03:47Thank you, dear.
00:03:49Danielle, you haven't touched your dinner.
00:03:51She doesn't like spring lamb.
00:03:53She prefers old goat.
00:03:55I'm glad you guys think it's so funny that my life is over.
00:03:59Your mother was right to end that relationship.
00:04:01The man was your teacher and married.
00:04:03He's getting a divorce.
00:04:04Well, that hardly bolsters his suitability.
00:04:06Danielle, please eat something.
00:04:07Don't worry, dear.
00:04:08Hunger strikes demand self-control.
00:04:10And as we've seen, that's hardly her strong suit.
00:04:12When are you gonna take me seriously?
00:04:14When you start acting like an adult.
00:04:16Well, she sleeps with him.
00:04:17That's a start.
00:04:19I hate you!
00:04:21I hate all of you!
00:04:29Remind me to buy paper plates.
00:04:31We'll need them till a certain someone can be trusted with China again.
00:04:37Wow.
00:04:38You're pretty good at that.
00:04:39Hey, you are home early.
00:04:40Hi.
00:04:41Yes, I am.
00:04:42What is all this?
00:04:43We are having a celebration.
00:04:44Sit.
00:04:45What are we celebrating?
00:04:46You.
00:04:47Being the greatest wife in the world.
00:04:50Thanks.
00:04:51No, seriously though.
00:04:52I mean it.
00:04:53How many wives would tell their husbands to follow his dreams and then have the patience
00:04:59to wait while he figures out what the hell it is?
00:05:03Thanks.
00:05:05No, seriously, though.
00:05:07I mean it.
00:05:09How many wives would tell their husbands to follow his dreams
00:05:12and then have the patience to wait
00:05:14while he figures out what the hell it is?
00:05:16Oh, my God, you know what you want to do.
00:05:19That's fantastic. What is it?
00:05:21Wait for it. Wait for it.
00:05:23I knew I needed to spend my days doing something
00:05:25I was passionate about, something creative.
00:05:27Yeah, how about that?
00:05:29Something where I interacted with the public,
00:05:31but I was still my own boss.
00:05:32And this morning it just, like, bam, it hit me.
00:05:35Okay. Okay, I'm dying here.
00:05:37What's the dream?
00:05:39You're eating it.
00:05:41Excuse me?
00:05:43I'm gonna open up a pizza parlor!
00:05:45I bet you didn't see that one coming.
00:05:48No, that was a real frisbee to the head, that one.
00:05:51But, but, when you think about it,
00:05:53doesn't it make perfect sense?
00:05:54I mean, Marnar's in my blood.
00:05:56You remember Uncle Vito?
00:05:57He came to this country with nothing.
00:05:58He turned that trottoria into a gold mine.
00:06:00Isn't he the one that asked us for a loan last Christmas?
00:06:04He has a gambling problem, but don't blame the pizza.
00:06:07Trust me.
00:06:08Get this thing all mapped out.
00:06:10It's gonna have, like, a real family feel with, like,
00:06:12big portion, but small prices, crayons for the kids.
00:06:15God, I feel good about this.
00:06:17So, what do you think?
00:06:22I think I'm gonna open another bottle of wine.
00:06:28But we haven't finished this one.
00:06:30Huh?
00:06:31Hey, we're celebrating, right?
00:06:33Carlos, what are you doing in my room?
00:06:46Oh, hey, Gabby.
00:06:47You're home early.
00:06:48God, Carlos.
00:06:49Strawberries and champagne.
00:06:50Did you really think you're gonna seduce me?
00:06:52Never entered my mind.
00:06:54Right, right.
00:06:55You know, I may be living with you until the divorce is final,
00:06:57but doesn't mean I have to put up with your cheesy comeons.
00:07:01Gabby, can I just say one thing?
00:07:03What?
00:07:04You've been doing some thinking,
00:07:05and you realize that I'm your soulmate,
00:07:06and there's a vacancy in your heart only I can fill?
00:07:09Gabby, listen.
00:07:10It's over between us.
00:07:11Just move on already.
00:07:12Forget me.
00:07:14As I was trying to say, I have company over her.
00:07:26This is Trichelle.
00:07:28Mm-hmm.
00:07:29Trichelle, this is...
00:07:32What was your name again?
00:07:34I seem to have forgotten.
00:07:36So the doctor said I should use as many things as I can
00:07:45to jog your memory.
00:07:46And not just pictures.
00:07:47He said I could use tastes and smells and sounds,
00:07:50so tonight is Sounds of the Seventy.
00:07:58Okay, uh, well, you know, let me set the scene.
00:08:01Um, we were at this funky little fish joint
00:08:04that you'd been dying to take me to, Cappy's.
00:08:07Do you remember Cappy's?
00:08:10Okay, well, we were there,
00:08:11and, uh, we were just wolfing down
00:08:13the most delicious trout ever.
00:08:15How long till the music part?
00:08:17Oh, it's coming.
00:08:18Um, and-and this Seventies cover band,
00:08:20well, they started to play,
00:08:21and that's how we got our song.
00:08:28Our song was Car Wash.
00:08:30Yes!
00:08:31See how much fun we were!
00:08:33So, I dragged you out on the dance floor,
00:08:35and, well, you were giving me this look.
00:08:37Sort of like the look you're giving me right now.
00:08:39And, um, I started to do this.
00:08:43And then you did this.
00:08:48I'm-I'm sorry.
00:08:49This-this isn't working.
00:08:50Oh, my.
00:08:51Come on.
00:08:52You're not even trying to remember.
00:08:53It was fun.
00:08:54Oh, I know.
00:08:55Okay.
00:08:56Sing with me.
00:08:57Car wash.
00:08:58Talking about the car wash.
00:09:00Woo!
00:09:01Car wash, yeah.
00:09:05You know, I'm really beat.
00:09:08Okay, Mike.
00:09:09I-I am not doing this to upset you.
00:09:10I'm doing this to help.
00:09:12I-I get that.
00:09:13It's just, uh, music is giving me a headache.
00:09:17Okay, well, I'll go.
00:09:19But I am not giving up on you.
00:09:21You know, you are going to remember the night that we danced in the car wash.
00:09:25And not just because it was fun, but because later that night,
00:09:28we did some things that, trust me, are worth remembering.
00:09:40That Jane Doe from the golf course?
00:09:43I think I missed something at the autopsy.
00:09:45Check it out.
00:09:47You always gotta come to lunch, don't you?
00:09:49Those blue marks on the back of her hand?
00:09:51First I thought they were veins.
00:09:53Now I think it's ink.
00:09:54You mean like some kind of writing?
00:09:56Yeah.
00:09:57I need to run some more tests, see if I can get a clearer image.
00:10:00I could be wrong, but...
00:10:02But what?
00:10:04I think it's a phone number.
00:10:12The oddest thing happened at the club today.
00:10:14Tish Atherton...
00:10:18Andrew, would you be a dear and make sure your sister's just breaking her own things?
00:10:27Anyway...
00:10:28Tish Atherton...
00:10:29Tish Atherton...
00:10:35Danielle?
00:10:36Danielle?
00:10:43Tish Atherton...
00:10:45Tish Atherton...
00:10:47Tish Atherton...
00:10:48Yeah, I'll tell him.
00:10:59I'm telling you, it was a deliberate snub.
00:11:02I waved to her and she looked right through me.
00:11:04True, I never bought her eldest daughter a gift.
00:11:06Andrew, please don't interrupt me while I'm speaking.
00:11:08True, I never bought her eldest daughter a gift,
00:11:10but you know my policy.
00:11:12No husband, no baby gift.
00:11:15Now, what is it, dear?
00:11:16Well, um, Danielle's upstairs trying to commit suicide.
00:11:29There's no rush.
00:11:30She's not trying that hard.
00:11:36How can you sit there playing that ridiculous game?
00:11:39Your sister tried to kill herself.
00:11:41That doesn't upset you?
00:11:42She tried to slit her wrist with a spoon.
00:11:44How upset do you want me to be?
00:11:46Mrs. Hodge.
00:11:47Is my daughter all right?
00:11:48She's a little groggy, but she'll be fine.
00:11:50The wounds are fairly superficial.
00:11:52So is the patient.
00:11:54We'll release her tonight.
00:11:55But you understand that in cases like this,
00:11:57counseling is mandatory.
00:11:58Of course, we'll get her all the help she needs.
00:12:00She is resisting our efforts to pump her stomach.
00:12:03She says she only took three sedatives.
00:12:04She's disoriented.
00:12:06Pump her.
00:12:07Andrew!
00:12:07They're sticking a tube down her throat.
00:12:17Do you still think this is funny?
00:12:19Mom, this was a half-assed bid for attention.
00:12:21This was a cry for help.
00:12:22And if we don't listen, the next time she could do something even more dangerous.
00:12:26Yeah.
00:12:26Next time she might jump off the porch.
00:12:28You stop it!
00:12:29Suicide is the worst thing that can happen to a family I will not have it made light of.
00:12:33Morson's right.
00:12:42We need to support each other as a family.
00:12:45In fact, I say we all go for counseling.
00:12:55Tom actually said he's opening up a pizza parlor.
00:12:58Lynette, you're not serious.
00:12:59Well, might as well stand in a vat of tomato sauce and tear up $100 bills.
00:13:03I know, but I said that I would support him and help him follow his dream.
00:13:07I can't hold you to that.
00:13:08Not the dream is pizza.
00:13:10She promised to stand by him.
00:13:11And once you make that commitment, you have to see it through.
00:13:14Yeah.
00:13:15How's that divorce going?
00:13:17I'm done talking.
00:13:19Hey, Parker, be careful up there.
00:13:21I just keep thinking he's going to come to his senses and realize it's a bad idea.
00:13:25That's never going to happen.
00:13:27Why?
00:13:27Because men are genetically incapable of realizing that their dreams are stupid.
00:13:31Can I elaborate, Dr. McCluskey?
00:13:33My husband sold insurance for 36 years.
00:13:36And one day he woke up and decided he wanted to move to Paris and paint naked ladies.
00:13:40I told him, Gilbert, you can barely paint the garage.
00:13:42What makes you think you can commit art?
00:13:45And for the rest of his life, he despised me.
00:13:47He despised you for saying no?
00:13:49Well, he also thought I was sleeping with his brother, and I'm sure that was mixed in there, too.
00:13:59Okay, so I got Kayla all unpacked.
00:14:01Oh, great.
00:14:02So, uh, Tom will drop her off at your house on Friday.
00:14:05Sounds good.
00:14:05Lynette, can I talk to you for a second?
00:14:06Mm-hmm.
00:14:08Yeah.
00:14:15Okay, pardon me for having really big ears, but I heard about Tom and this pizza place.
00:14:19Do you want to know what I think?
00:14:21No, not really.
00:14:22It sucks.
00:14:23It's a sucky idea.
00:14:25And your friends back there, they're just too nice to come right out and say it.
00:14:28Luckily, I'm not your friend, so you can trust me.
00:14:33Nip it in the bud.
00:14:37And make Tom resent me for the rest of his life.
00:14:40I don't think so.
00:14:41Well, you better do something, because if you don't, you and me will wind up working a pole to pay for braces.
00:14:48Julie, I want you some flowers.
00:15:00Generally, when you buy flowers, they don't still have the roots on them.
00:15:03Okay, uh, I was hoping you could help me with my English lip paper.
00:15:06Hi, I'm Sarah.
00:15:09Hey, so, what do you say?
00:15:11Actually, I'm sort of busy right now.
00:15:13Come on.
00:15:14Look, Aunt Edie's going to give me the boot if I flunk out.
00:15:17Wouldn't you miss me?
00:15:18Absolutely.
00:15:19Whose motorcycle would wake us all up at 2 in the morning?
00:15:21You drive a motorcycle?
00:15:25Please.
00:15:26I think I could really use some help here.
00:15:30Normally, I charge $12 an hour for tutoring, but seeing as it's you, $15.
00:15:36Great.
00:15:37See you Friday.
00:15:40Oh, just so you know, I charge $15 an hour to make out, so I'll probably break even.
00:15:45Mm-hmm.
00:15:58Hi.
00:15:59You're new.
00:15:59Where's Marcy?
00:16:00She's in Honolulu on vacation.
00:16:03Can I help you?
00:16:04Oh, I'm just going to see Mike Delfino.
00:16:06What's that smell?
00:16:07Uh, that's my macaroni cheese.
00:16:08I was hoping it would trigger Mike's memory.
00:16:10I made it the first time we met two years ago.
00:16:12You should have refrigerated it.
00:16:17Edie?
00:16:17Oh, you know Ms. Britt?
00:16:20Uh, yeah.
00:16:21What is she doing here?
00:16:24Visiting Mr. Delfino.
00:16:25You know she was with him when he came out of his coma.
00:16:28What?
00:16:29And she's been here every day since.
00:16:32You!
00:16:33Hello, Susan.
00:16:37Long time no see.
00:16:38I've been wondering why Mike's been so cold to me.
00:16:40Now it all makes sense.
00:16:41I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.
00:16:44Whew.
00:16:44For God's sake, think about it.
00:16:45Oh, that's my mac and cheese.
00:16:47Don't change the subject.
00:16:48What have you been telling him about me?
00:16:50Why would I say anything about you?
00:16:51Mike has no idea who you are.
00:16:54I envy him.
00:16:55Ladies, is there a problem?
00:16:56I want this woman banned from the hospital.
00:16:59She's been like this ever since Mike dumped her.
00:17:02Imagine fatal attraction with a much older woman.
00:17:06Ma'am, Mr. Delfino already has a visitor.
00:17:09I think you should go.
00:17:10Me?
00:17:11But why doesn't she leave?
00:17:12I'm the one who's been here every day for the last six months.
00:17:15Well, I don't know you.
00:17:16But I do know his girlfriend.
00:17:20Girlfriend?
00:17:21Okay, you know what?
00:17:22I want Marcy's number in Honolulu, and I want it right now.
00:17:25You need to leave.
00:17:26What?
00:17:26You're disturbing the other patients.
00:17:27What are you?
00:17:28Oh, this is ridiculous.
00:17:29I mean, who am I disturbing?
00:17:30It's a coma ward.
00:17:31Don't you want them to wake up?
00:17:36I did not call you that.
00:17:37Yes, you did.
00:17:38I have never in my life used the word retard.
00:17:41It's what you think.
00:17:41You think I'm this immature moron who can't be trusted to decide what's best for her.
00:17:45Well, you did try to off yourself.
00:17:47I don't think you get to pull the I know what's best for me card.
00:17:49Andrew, not in front of the therapist.
00:17:51Actually, I think we're making great progress.
00:17:53You feel Danielle refuses to see you're acting in her best interest.
00:17:58And you think your mother cares more about her image than your feelings.
00:18:03Danielle, how can you think I don't care about your feelings?
00:18:05Don't you know how much your mother loves you?
00:18:08When I saw you in that tub, it was the worst moment of my life.
00:18:11The thought of losing you is more than I can bear.
00:18:13How does that make you feel?
00:18:19Actually, kind of powerful.
00:18:25Powerful?
00:18:26You really don't want to lose me.
00:18:29Of course not.
00:18:30I already went through thinking I'd lost Andrew.
00:18:32I can't go through that again.
00:18:33Well then, here's what's going to happen.
00:18:35I'm going to start dating Robert again.
00:18:38And if you try to break us up, or get him fired,
00:18:41then I'm going to leave and you will never see me again.
00:18:44Danielle.
00:18:45If that can survive on its own, so can I.
00:18:47You don't believe me?
00:18:49Call my block.
00:18:50See what happens.
00:18:57So, what do we owe you for all this progress?
00:19:00Come on, Austin.
00:19:06Concentrate.
00:19:07Okay, why did Iago betray Othello?
00:19:11Because the play would suck if he didn't.
00:19:15What do you think you're doing?
00:19:18Sorry.
00:19:19No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:19:21We're here to work.
00:19:22And if my mom came home, she'd flip.
00:19:23Now, put that away.
00:19:28You said put it away?
00:19:30Look, if you think I'm going to sit here
00:19:32and write your paper for you while you're getting drunk.
00:19:35Just help me get it started.
00:19:36This is hard for me.
00:19:37I didn't read a lot of Shakespeare and Juvie.
00:19:39I kind of majored in not getting stabbed.
00:19:44Fine.
00:19:45I'll write your intro, but then you're on your own.
00:19:47Thank you very much.
00:19:50So, why'd they send you to Juvie anyway?
00:19:54They didn't.
00:19:56My mom did.
00:19:58Why?
00:20:00She had this boyfriend, no job, big drunk, real catch.
00:20:06One night, he pops her one, so I break a chair over, I said, and she calls cops on me.
00:20:11But you were protecting her.
00:20:15Yeah, that's what I thought.
00:20:18But the guy said he'd leave if she didn't press charges, and my mom doesn't really like to be alone.
00:20:23You know what?
00:20:29You're tired.
00:20:30Why don't you lay down for a couple minutes, and I'll just do a page or two.
00:20:36You're a rock star, Meyer?
00:20:37Carlos.
00:20:37You want your shell tonight?
00:20:51Uh, no.
00:20:52About her, I have a confession to make.
00:20:54Does her pimp want the rest of the money?
00:20:56You know, there is some cash in my purse.
00:20:57Look, I know I crossed a line bringing her here, but I was trying to make you jealous.
00:21:02Like the way you made me feel when you said you slept with John Rowland again.
00:21:06Well, I think it's more than that.
00:21:08I think you really hate me.
00:21:10That's not true.
00:21:11Oh, I think it is.
00:21:12You know, introducing your spouse to someone you're about to have sex with.
00:21:16There's only one reason to do that.
00:21:19Pure hatred.
00:21:20You don't know what you're talking about.
00:21:29Oh, I think I do.
00:21:36Phil, come meet my basically ex-husband.
00:21:39Carlos.
00:21:40Carlos, this is my new friend, Phil Lopez.
00:21:42We met, Gabby.
00:21:44Really?
00:21:45Well, that's weird.
00:21:46When?
00:21:47Fairview Chamber of Commerce, the annual dinner.
00:21:49Oh, my God.
00:21:50That's right.
00:21:51That's right.
00:21:52You're up for the Latino Businessman of the Year award that Phil won.
00:21:57Well, actually, I beat him up twice.
00:21:59No.
00:22:00Oh, I remember.
00:22:01Carlos was so annoyed.
00:22:03What did you say, hon?
00:22:04He may have that trophy, but I've got you.
00:22:09Ain't that funny?
00:22:11Gabby, can we talk for a sec?
00:22:13Now, right now, Phil and I are getting in the hot tub.
00:22:16Oh, Phil, did you bring your suit?
00:22:17You said I didn't have to.
00:22:19Not in front of Arlo's, kay?
00:22:22Go outside.
00:22:23I'll meet you there.
00:22:27Phil Lopez.
00:22:29You brought on Phil Lopez?
00:22:31I had no idea you hated me that much.
00:22:34Well, now you know.
00:22:34Hey, good news.
00:22:44My realtor found me some sweet locations.
00:22:47That's great.
00:22:49Hey, can we talk about this restaurant thing for a second?
00:22:53Yeah, what's up?
00:22:53I don't know if you noticed, but when you first pitched the whole pizza concept, I was a wee bit skeptical.
00:23:00Yeah, I sense that.
00:23:01Of course you did, because you're a smart guy, which is also why you are going to jump on the idea I have to make the whole thing work.
00:23:09Okay, so you're not bailing on me?
00:23:11No.
00:23:12No, no, no.
00:23:12I am totally on board.
00:23:14Oh, good.
00:23:15You had me scared there for a second.
00:23:17Okay, so, well, what is this great idea?
00:23:20I'm thinking catering company.
00:23:24Huh?
00:23:24Start small, have an Italian theme, create some cash flow, and then later on, expand into the pizza thing.
00:23:34But that's not my dream.
00:23:35Well, think about it.
00:23:37You're going to do all these fun parties.
00:23:40People will start talking.
00:23:41Hey, this is great food.
00:23:42This guy should open a restaurant.
00:23:44Yeah, yeah, I'd eat there and then wham, five, short, years later, you have a built-in customer base.
00:23:50But I said it's not my dream.
00:23:52Pizza is my dream.
00:23:53I know, I know. Catering's how you get there.
00:23:55So why can't I just skip the catering and go straight to the pizza?
00:23:57Because you'll fail.
00:24:00I'm sorry.
00:24:01I shouldn't have said that.
00:24:03But you're gambling with our life savings, and you have no experience.
00:24:08You said you'd support me.
00:24:12I'm trying to.
00:24:14I am trying to, but are you aware that 90% of restaurants tank in their first year?
00:24:19Which means that 10% of them make it.
00:24:20Why don't you ever think that I would be one of them?
00:24:22No, no.
00:24:24Do me a favor.
00:24:27Don't answer that.
00:24:37Yoo-hoo!
00:24:38Carlos!
00:24:39I'm making a snack for Phil.
00:24:42Do you want something to eat?
00:24:45Some sour grapes, perhaps?
00:24:47Maybe a little chrome?
00:24:48I don't know.
00:24:57Okay, we need to move this over there.
00:24:59Why?
00:25:00Uh, Feng Shui.
00:25:02I don't know.
00:25:02Don't just stand there.
00:25:03Help me.
00:25:03Hey!
00:25:04Don't start without me.
00:25:17Oh, no, no.
00:25:18Let's get some more strength.
00:25:19You and I are not going to have sex tonight.
00:25:22What?
00:25:22I'm sorry.
00:25:24No offense.
00:25:24You're a nice guy.
00:25:25I'm just not into you that way.
00:25:27Oh, God!
00:25:28Phil!
00:25:29Yes!
00:25:29Yes!
00:25:30Get into me!
00:25:31Okay.
00:25:31Oh, no, no.
00:25:32I'm talking to you.
00:25:33Back off.
00:25:33Whoa.
00:25:34But I thought, I mean, in the hot tub, we were...
00:25:37Yes, you saw my boobs.
00:25:39And you're going to have that mental snapshot to use as you wish for the rest of your life.
00:25:42But that is all you're getting!
00:25:46Wait a minute.
00:25:46So you're just using me?
00:25:49Unbelievable.
00:25:50I what?
00:25:51We're on my wall.
00:25:52Really?
00:25:53Oh, so are you!
00:25:54We're on my wall.
00:25:56Yes!
00:26:03No wonder you're divorcing her.
00:26:04She's a straight-up loon.
00:26:06Crap, she's blocking my car.
00:26:09Always happy to help a brother out.
00:26:12Hold on.
00:26:16Oh, God!
00:26:17Yes!
00:26:18All right, cowboy!
00:26:20Oh, yes!
00:26:22God!
00:26:23Take me home, Billy!
00:26:25You should wear a saddle!
00:26:27Yes!
00:26:28Yes!
00:26:29I really told you to beat it.
00:26:31No means no.
00:26:34I need your car keys.
00:26:36You're blocking the stallion's hatchback.
00:26:42Oh, yes.
00:26:47Yes, Phil.
00:26:48Fill me with Phil!
00:26:50I never said that.
00:26:52And you moved the bed.
00:26:53What were you thinking?
00:26:55Shut up.
00:26:55You know, if you're trying to hurt me, that's not the way to do it.
00:26:58Well, then enlighten me.
00:27:00How can I hit you so hard that you will never recover?
00:27:04You can't.
00:27:05No, I have to, Carlos.
00:27:07I need you to give up on us.
00:27:09We're not good for each other, and I can't keep doing this.
00:27:11But I can.
00:27:14You proved something tonight.
00:27:16You had a rich, good-looking guy in your bed, and you couldn't pull the trigger.
00:27:21That means you still care.
00:27:23And as long as I know that, I can take anything that you can dish out.
00:27:30You know what?
00:27:30I'm tired.
00:27:32Can we talk about this in the morning?
00:27:35Sure.
00:27:36But you're bringing me breakfast in bed or no deal.
00:27:40It's a date.
00:27:41It's a date.
00:27:57Sarah?
00:27:59What are you?
00:27:59Oh!
00:28:01Oh, Julie.
00:28:02Thank God, it's you.
00:28:03We totally thought you were the cop.
00:28:05Oh, hey, Julie.
00:28:06What are you, on Buzzkill Patrol tonight?
00:28:09This is why you couldn't go to the movies with me?
00:28:11Well, sorry.
00:28:12I thought you went that into him.
00:28:14You know, if you are...
00:28:14I'm not.
00:28:15I'm just...
00:28:15I'm mad that you blew me off.
00:28:17Well, I would totally understand if you wanted to blow me off for a date.
00:28:21You call this a date?
00:28:23Getting mauled in a car?
00:28:24Hey, you want to talk about this later?
00:28:25I'm losing altitude here.
00:28:27Oh, you are disgusting.
00:28:30Enjoy the rest of your date.
00:28:36Julie, there you are.
00:28:37I think I found a way to get through to Mike.
00:28:39Let it go.
00:28:40He's not into you.
00:28:46Gabby, rise and shine.
00:28:48Made you some waffles.
00:28:50I got a second wind last night, so I went to a bar.
00:28:58That's where I met Jason.
00:28:59We spent the whole night, how did you put it?
00:29:02Pulling the trigger.
00:29:08So did I hurt you, or should I keep trying?
00:29:10And you kicked ass in rehab today.
00:29:24Yeah, I raised my arm over my head.
00:29:26Signed me up for the Olympics.
00:29:27Oh, be patient.
00:29:28It takes time.
00:29:30Miss Britt.
00:29:31Phone call for you at the nurse's station.
00:29:33For me?
00:29:34Huh.
00:29:35I'll be right back.
00:29:40There's a phone call for me.
00:29:45So sorry.
00:29:46Where are you?
00:29:46Shh.
00:29:47I thought you could use some fresh air.
00:29:48Hello?
00:29:50Hello, it's Edie.
00:29:55What the hell is this?
00:29:55Who's he?
00:29:56Oh, this is Hank.
00:29:57And he has very kindly offered to take us on a little field trip today.
00:30:00For 60 bucks an hour.
00:30:02Where are you taking me?
00:30:03Uh, just a little jaunt down memory lane.
00:30:06Oh, God.
00:30:07You're not taking me to that fish and disco place, are you?
00:30:09No, no.
00:30:11What we're doing today is a little more low-key.
00:30:12Don't worry.
00:30:13You're totally safe.
00:30:14We're not doing anything wrong.
00:30:19Punch it!
00:30:26Hello.
00:30:27Look, Mrs. Hodge, I've only seen your daughter once since the motel.
00:30:31She told me that you backed off.
00:30:32Oh, Mr. Filetti, I'm not here to threaten you.
00:30:34I've come to give you my blessing.
00:30:36Your blessing?
00:30:37Yes, Danielle made it quite clear that I'm powerless to stop this relationship.
00:30:41And since she assures me that you love her, you do love her, don't you?
00:30:45Yes, of course.
00:30:47Good.
00:30:47Then we're all set.
00:30:51Here's some of her clothes.
00:30:52I'll bring her CDs and her stuffed animals over tomorrow.
00:30:56You want her to stay here?
00:30:58This place is kind of small.
00:30:59Well, that hotel room was small, and you seemed happy enough there.
00:31:03Oh, and I trust you to be discreet.
00:31:05You wouldn't want your wife to find out about this and use it against you in your divorce.
00:31:10Whoa, whoa.
00:31:11Mrs. Hodge, things are getting a little bit complicated.
00:31:15Could you please tell Danielle that this is not going to work out?
00:31:18Mr. Filetti, if you want to break my daughter's heart, I can't stop you.
00:31:21But I will not be an accomplice.
00:31:23You'll tell her yourself.
00:31:26Right.
00:31:26And don't even think about blaming me, because if you so much as mention that we spoke, I'll phone the police.
00:31:33Fine.
00:31:34I will leave you out of it.
00:31:38Oh, and one more thing.
00:31:40Yes?
00:31:41Danielle is applying to colleges.
00:31:43I do hope she can count on you for a glowing recommendation.
00:31:48Sure.
00:31:53And when I locked myself out of the house, that's where the bush was that you found me in.
00:31:57Naked.
00:31:58Surely you remember that.
00:31:59Nope.
00:32:01Ouch, that hurts.
00:32:02Um, okay, remember this spot?
00:32:05This is where we sat in your truck and had our first kiss.
00:32:08Were you naked then, too?
00:32:12Ugh, Mike.
00:32:14Why are you being this way?
00:32:15This is pointless.
00:32:17And I'm sorry.
00:32:18I can't.
00:32:19I don't remember being with you.
00:32:21Okay, I know it's hard.
00:32:23But you've got to make an effort.
00:32:24And you know, if your head is a little foggy, then don't look there.
00:32:27Look in your heart.
00:32:28Because I'm in there.
00:32:31Just like you're inside mine.
00:32:34Okay.
00:32:35Um, this is Mary Alice's house.
00:32:38And this is where we first met.
00:32:40I was setting out my macaroni and cheese.
00:32:43And you were in line.
00:32:44Oh, oh, I'm good.
00:32:48Finally, a smile.
00:32:49You do that a lot, don't you?
00:32:51Well, yeah, I've been known to take a spiller, too.
00:32:53But, you know, my doctor says it's an inner ear.
00:32:56Wait, you remember that?
00:32:59Yeah, I think I do.
00:33:01Yes, the progress, see?
00:33:03Oh, it's all going to come back.
00:33:04We're going to be us again.
00:33:06What about the British guy?
00:33:14Mike, I don't know what Edie's been telling you, but Ian and I, we're just friends.
00:33:19Just friends?
00:33:21Yeah.
00:33:23Now.
00:33:23Look, you've got to understand.
00:33:30The doctors were telling me that you would probably never wake up.
00:33:35And I just needed somebody to talk to.
00:33:38And that's what you were doing in the country?
00:33:40Talking.
00:33:45Mr. Delfino, are you okay?
00:33:47I'm fine.
00:33:51You can't just discharge a patient without permission.
00:33:54Oh, but I was just trying to help him remember.
00:33:56And tell her, Mike, we were making progress.
00:34:00Take me back to the hospital.
00:34:06Oh.
00:34:08Mike!
00:34:09Well, at the risk of stating the obvious, it's over.
00:34:13He's mine now.
00:34:15No, no, no, no.
00:34:15No, no, no, this is not how this ends.
00:34:17No, evil does not triumph over good.
00:34:19That's how you see me?
00:34:21Damn straight.
00:34:22You lie, you cheat, you scheme.
00:34:24You ruin people's relationships.
00:34:26I mean, how do you sleep at night?
00:34:28Soon, with Mike on top of me.
00:34:30If you know what I mean.
00:34:32See?
00:34:33Evil.
00:34:34Evil!
00:34:34Has it ever occurred to you that maybe Mike and I are meant to end up together?
00:34:41No!
00:34:43Mike, you don't even want him.
00:34:44You're just doing this to hurt me.
00:34:47Wow.
00:34:48How self-absorbed can you be?
00:34:51I have had a thing from Mike since the day he moved in here.
00:34:53And I even backed off when he fell for your little Miss Adorable act.
00:34:56But he's over that.
00:34:57It's my turn now.
00:34:58And I will be better for him than you ever were.
00:35:01And if you do get hurt, well, that's just gravy.
00:35:08All right.
00:35:08Maybe that was a little evil.
00:35:25Finally.
00:35:26Sorry it took so long.
00:35:27That last digit was barely legible.
00:35:30I thought you'd like to do the honors.
00:35:31You've reached Mike Delfino Plumbing.
00:35:46Please leave a message after the beep.
00:35:47Whoa, a D-minus.
00:36:03That blows.
00:36:04Yeah, it does.
00:36:05Especially since it's not the one we did together.
00:36:07You emailed me the wrong paper.
00:36:09You didn't even read it before you turned it in?
00:36:11I didn't think I had to.
00:36:12The one you wrote that night was great.
00:36:13Well, after you left, I decided I really should put it in your words.
00:36:19Is this some weird chick thing you did because you're into me?
00:36:22Oh, please.
00:36:24No, no, no, it is.
00:36:25You're pissed because I hooked up with your friend.
00:36:27No, I'm pissed because you told me some sob story so I'd write your paper for you.
00:36:31Now you owe me 15 bucks.
00:36:33You know what?
00:36:35Here.
00:36:38Oh, and I did learn something.
00:36:41Iago betrayed Othello because he was jealous.
00:36:43Oh, Danielle, I thought you'd be with Mr. Filotti tonight.
00:36:53Oh, you'll be happy to know he dumped me.
00:36:55He dumped you?
00:36:56Said it was getting too messy that I was going to complicate his divorce.
00:37:01Don't pretend you're sorry.
00:37:03I don't plan to.
00:37:04I hope this doesn't make history class too awkward.
00:37:07Oh, you don't have to worry about that.
00:37:08I went to the principal and got his ass fired.
00:37:10And then when he called to yell at me for squealing on him, I recorded the call and sent a tape of it to his wife.
00:37:16Thanks to me, he'll be getting nothing in this divorce.
00:37:18I must say that was rather underhanded.
00:37:25Yes.
00:37:26I wonder where she gets it.
00:37:31Bye, Daddy.
00:37:32I'll see you guys next Friday, okay?
00:37:35Kayla said that you're opening a pizza place.
00:37:38Well, maybe.
00:37:39I mean, it's not a done deal yet.
00:37:41Ah, Lynette put the kibosh on it, huh?
00:37:46What makes you say that?
00:37:47Well, you know, Lynette.
00:37:51She's probably right.
00:37:53I mean, there's a bunch of dumb schmucks out there trying to open restaurants, so.
00:37:56You know, Tom, I've tasted your pizza.
00:37:58And I have to be perfectly honest with you.
00:38:00It was like I died and went to Italy.
00:38:06Really?
00:38:07Oh, my God, you are born to do this.
00:38:09And I just hate to see you give it up because, well, man, this is none of my business.
00:38:16But Lynette does bully you sometimes.
00:38:22She doesn't mean to.
00:38:23Then don't let her.
00:38:24You go to the mat on this one.
00:38:25She will respect you a lot more if you grow a pair.
00:38:28I'm not trying to insult you.
00:38:33All I'm saying is that I know what you're capable of.
00:38:41And I believe in you.
00:38:45I really needed to hear that.
00:38:50Thanks.
00:38:58I wish Daddy lived here so he could tuck me into it.
00:39:17I wish Daddy lived here so he could tuck me in the zoo.
00:39:29Something that belongs to someone else.
00:39:33I'm working on it, Piglet.
00:39:37I was working on it.
00:39:39Previously on Desperate Housewives, Gabrielle got even.
00:39:48So did I hurt you or should I keep trying?
00:39:50Tom got an idea.
00:39:51I'm going to open up a pizza parlor.
00:39:53Bree got a warning.
00:39:54He's a cold-blooded killer.
00:39:56The police got a clue.
00:39:58Those blue marks, I think it's a phone number.
00:40:01Can you reach Mike Delfino?
00:40:03This should never have happened.
00:40:04And the battle for Mike's affection got ugly.
00:40:07How do you sleep at night?
00:40:09Soon, with Mike on top of me.
00:40:14It is often said that confession is good for the soul.
00:40:19No one knew this better than a certain blonde,
00:40:22who had been confessing her sins to Father O'Malley
00:40:25once a week since she was a child.
00:40:28As the years had passed,
00:40:30much to Father O'Malley's dismay,
00:40:32a theme began to emerge.
00:40:35I seduce the cable guy again.
00:40:39I'm having an affair with a folk singing duo.
00:40:43Last week, I let Rabbi Lippman get to third base.
00:40:48And once she had been forgiven,
00:40:51Father O'Malley would tell Edie Britt
00:40:53to go out into the world and sin no more.
00:40:56Unfortunately for Edie,
00:41:00temptation seemed to be...
00:41:02Hello there.
00:41:05Everywhere.
00:41:10Edie, what were we like together
00:41:13before the accident?
00:41:16What do you mean?
00:41:18You know, were we close?
00:41:20Honestly, we lived about 50 feet from each other,
00:41:27and you barely knew that I existed.
00:41:30Seriously?
00:41:32It's true.
00:41:33I mean, you weren't rude or anything.
00:41:35We'd wave or exchange hellos
00:41:37as we went to get our mail,
00:41:38but you never really looked at me.
00:41:40I mean, not really.
00:41:41I was just another neighbor to you.
00:41:43Well, if we weren't friends,
00:41:47why are you here every day helping me?
00:41:51Because...
00:41:52from the first moment I laid eyes on you,
00:41:55I sort of fell in love with you.
00:42:01Oh.
00:42:02Yeah, and I'm not telling you this
00:42:04because I expect anything,
00:42:05so you can just relax, okay?
00:42:08Okay.
00:42:10But when you do come back home,
00:42:11and we do run into each other
00:42:13when we're getting our mail,
00:42:15I'd really appreciate it if you'd...
00:42:19just look at me.
00:42:23That's all.
00:42:23I'm looking at you now.
00:42:41Yes.
00:42:41It is often said confession
00:42:44is good for the soul.
00:42:47Mike Delfino and I made out today,
00:42:49and it was great!
00:42:50But some confessions
00:42:53are just bragging
00:42:55in disguise.
00:42:57So,
00:43:00and you can pick up
00:43:01and see a little bit
00:43:02in disguise.
00:43:03But we love you.
00:43:03And I'm an own
00:43:05and I'm looking for that
00:43:06for everybody.
00:43:06But a lot of people
00:43:07who have to go
00:43:08and see you
00:43:08and you know
00:43:09and see you
00:43:09and see you
00:43:10and see you
00:43:11and see you
00:43:12and see you
00:43:13in the next one.
00:43:14I've been trying
00:43:15on the next one.
00:43:15I'm looking for you
00:43:16to say you
00:43:16and see you
00:43:17in the next one.
00:43:18It's quite a lot
00:43:19and there is
00:43:20a lot of stuff
00:43:21in the next one.
00:43:23And I'll see you
00:43:23and see you
00:43:24and see you
00:43:25and see you
00:43:26There was nothing Brie Hodge hated more than an unexpected knock at the door.
00:43:46She was always certain it would lead to a disagreeable surprise.
00:43:50Whether it be in the form of a cosmetic saleswoman, religious zealots, or extended family.
00:43:59But on this day, the surprise awaiting Brie was far more disagreeable than she ever could have imagined.
00:44:07Hello, Brie.
00:44:09Carolyn, this isn't a very good time. I'm baking.
00:44:13Brie, hi. We haven't met. I'm Harvey Bixby.
00:44:17And I brought my wife here to apologize.
00:44:22It's a souffle. The timing is everything.
00:44:25Please, please.
00:44:27She's been under a great deal of stress since Alma's disappearance.
00:44:30And she really hasn't been herself.
00:44:33Much of that was due to the Mexican painkillers that she was purchasing online.
00:44:36But I put a stop to that.
00:44:40Well, Orson tells me that the two of you were very close.
00:44:43And out of respect for that friendship, I'm all ears.
00:44:47After thinking it over, I realized that maybe I was out of line.
00:44:52I was definitely out of line with the terrible accusations that I made.
00:44:55I'm deeply sorry for the pain that I caused.
00:44:58I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
00:45:02Well, I can appreciate how difficult that must have been for you.
00:45:09Apology accepted.
00:45:09Ah, I'm so relieved.
00:45:13As am I.
00:45:14You don't know how rusty my golf game's gotten without this one keeping me on my toes.
00:45:18Well, perhaps we can all get together for dinner at the club sometime.
00:45:21That sounds lovely.
00:45:26Darling, you are amazing. You know that?
00:45:28To rise above all that unpleasantness with such dignity.
00:45:31Well, thank you, darling.
00:45:33But if you think for one second that I'm going to break bread with that malicious pill-popping shrew,
00:45:38you're out of your mind.
00:45:39Hey, Susan. What are you doing?
00:46:05I just dropped my trowel. Thanks.
00:46:07All righty, then. You have a nice day.
00:46:12Bye-bye.
00:46:15Susan?
00:46:16Ian. What a surprise.
00:46:19Were you, uh, were you hiding from me?
00:46:21Uh, a little.
00:46:23I, just the last time we saw each other, it was so awkward and complicated.
00:46:29Water under the bridge.
00:46:31Besides, this is strictly business.
00:46:33I'm throwing a party for an editor friend in from London, and I thought you two should meet.
00:46:36You could bring a date if you want.
00:46:39Speaking of which, uh, how are things with Mike?
00:46:42Oh, uh, they're moving along.
00:46:46It's a process.
00:46:48And the, uh, blonde woman who's been visiting him every day, is she part of the process?
00:46:53Uh, Edie?
00:46:53Oh, she's just a neighbor.
00:46:57She visits Mike after her hepatitis C treatments.
00:47:01Oh.
00:47:02Well, I, I do hope you can come to the party.
00:47:05So you can meet my editor friend.
00:47:07I just, I just don't think that's a good idea.
00:47:10Right.
00:47:10Well, at least I, uh, I got to see you.
00:47:16You have?
00:47:26This is ludicrous.
00:47:27The Biedermeyer armoire.
00:47:28It's my understanding that your client doesn't even like any of this.
00:47:32Totally immaterial.
00:47:33It's a valuable asset.
00:47:36Fine.
00:47:37Let's discuss the Costa Bodo vase.
00:47:39Nope.
00:47:39It's a premarital acquisition.
00:47:41We can verify that with receipts.
00:47:45It was a gift to Mr. Solis.
00:47:47Maybe you were sick that day at law school, Myron, but it's called community property?
00:47:51Don't patronize me, Kenny.
00:47:52We're prepared to go to the mat on this one.
00:47:53Oh, enough.
00:47:54Just give her what she wants.
00:47:56Look, I'm sick of fighting.
00:47:57It's just stuff.
00:47:57Uh, I'd like a moment alone with my client.
00:47:59This has been going on for months.
00:48:01I'm done.
00:48:01Draw up the papers.
00:48:02I'll sign whatever.
00:48:04You're giving me everything I want?
00:48:05Just like that?
00:48:06Just like that.
00:48:10We expect to see the paperwork by the end of business.
00:48:14How sweet is that?
00:48:16We nailed their asses.
00:48:20Mrs. Solis.
00:48:22They completely folded.
00:48:25That's the thing.
00:48:26Carlos doesn't fold.
00:48:28Son of a bitch is up to something.
00:48:34Before you come in, cover your eyes.
00:48:37Tom.
00:48:38Do it.
00:48:40Okay.
00:48:41Now, yes.
00:48:42When I say open, don't look with your eyes.
00:48:46Look with your imagination.
00:48:48Okay.
00:48:49Okay.
00:48:50Open.
00:48:51Oh, dear God.
00:48:54Dammit.
00:48:55You looked with your eyes.
00:48:56It's a dump.
00:48:57What are you thinking?
00:48:58Well, I'll grant you it's a fixer-upper.
00:49:00It's a burner-downer.
00:49:02Come on, honey.
00:49:03Go with me.
00:49:04We can put in booze with checkered tablecloths, a jukebox, a big screen to watch sports on.
00:49:10How can you not see the potential in this place?
00:49:12Oh, I just don't.
00:49:14Tom, you know how I feel about this pizza thing.
00:49:17Well, hopefully it'll grow on you.
00:49:22Don't tell me you didn't sign a lease.
00:49:27There's going to be a dartboard.
00:49:29Tom?
00:49:30No.
00:49:31There were multiple offers.
00:49:32I had to move fast.
00:49:33You leased a building without telling me?
00:49:35Well, maybe I didn't tell you because I knew you'd try and talk me out of the best opportunity
00:49:38of my life.
00:49:39Okay.
00:49:43Okay.
00:49:44Here's what we're going to do.
00:49:45You said there were multiple offers, so we can sublease.
00:49:49Now, let's get the hell out of here.
00:49:51You said you'd support my dream.
00:49:54My mistake.
00:49:55I assumed you'd have a dream worth supporting.
00:49:59I'm going to stay here tonight.
00:50:01Fine.
00:50:09Two lemonades for the victors.
00:50:20We keep playing like this, Bree, and we are a cinch for the finals.
00:50:24Hello, Tish.
00:50:25Hello, Rebecca.
00:50:28Did you see that?
00:50:28She just deliberately snubbed me.
00:50:30Maybe she didn't notice you.
00:50:32Rebecca, I just spoke to her and called me paranoid, but Amy Griswold did the same thing
00:50:36to me on the golf course last week.
00:50:38What is going on?
00:50:40You really don't know?
00:50:42No, I have no idea what.
00:50:44Tish is very good friends with Carolyn Bixby.
00:50:47Carolyn knows Tish?
00:50:48She knows everyone.
00:50:50Anyway, Tish won't talk to you because you married Orson even after Carolyn told you that
00:50:55he killed his wife.
00:50:56That is ridiculous.
00:50:57Orson did not kill Alma, and besides, Carolyn just apologized to me for that yesterday.
00:51:02Well, maybe that hasn't gotten back to Tish.
00:51:04Well, you don't believe any of that nonsense, do you?
00:51:08Do you?
00:51:10Bree, you're the best doubles partner I've ever had.
00:51:13Can we talk about this after the tournament?
00:51:14Hello, I'd like to make a reservation for this evening under the names Hodge and Bigsby.
00:51:29And, um, we'll be meeting a table in the center of the room.
00:51:33How long will Daddy be gone?
00:51:35Well, that sort of depends on Daddy.
00:51:37Are you two mad at each other?
00:51:40Yeah, a little.
00:51:42But that's okay.
00:51:42That's okay.
00:51:43We still love each other very much.
00:51:44But just like kids, sometimes grown-ups throw tantrums and need a timeout.
00:51:48Why can't he take a timeout in his room?
00:51:50Because he decided to take it in his pizza place.
00:51:53Fair.
00:51:54That sounds fun.
00:51:56Not this pizza place.
00:51:57It's a rat hole.
00:51:58But once your dad comes to his senses and stops being petulant, he'll come home.
00:52:04What's petulant?
00:52:05It means childish, stubborn, careless with my money and your futures.
00:52:11Huh?
00:52:12It's a grown-up word.
00:52:13And when Daddy comes home, you'll learn a new one.
00:52:19Grovel.
00:52:22They got in a really big fight.
00:52:24Daddy's sleeping at the restaurant.
00:52:25No, no.
00:52:26It's good that you told me, sweet pea.
00:52:28You keep those little ears open.
00:52:30Okay?
00:52:31Okay.
00:52:31Bye, Mom.
00:52:32Bye.
00:52:35Oh, hey.
00:52:36That's for me.
00:52:37I'll take that.
00:52:38Okay.
00:52:43Well, I'm beat.
00:52:51I'm going to take a nap.
00:52:52Uh, hold it.
00:52:54You're a sweaty mess.
00:52:56So, I was working out.
00:52:57So, you're not laying on anything in this house until you take a shower.
00:53:00Fair enough.
00:53:02It's all yours now, right?
00:53:03Okay.
00:53:03I don't know, Myron.
00:53:26It's a bunch of legal mumbo-jumbo.
00:53:28Just read it and call me back.
00:53:29Oh, crap.
00:53:33Crap.
00:53:52What?
00:53:53Uh, why did you put those shorts back on?
00:53:57Why do you care?
00:53:58Uh, it's just that they're filthy, and I was going to wash them for you.
00:54:03You want to wash my shorts?
00:54:05I don't want to, but if you wear them one more time, they're going to ask me themselves.
00:54:17Wait a minute.
00:54:18I forgot something in the pocket.
00:54:19No bleach.
00:54:27Got it.
00:54:31So, it's a job contract?
00:54:33Well, it's fine.
00:54:34They're offering him two million over three years, plus stock options.
00:54:36Well, that's fantastic.
00:54:38I get half, right?
00:54:39Well, no.
00:54:40Well, if you're legally divorced when he signs the contract, then you don't see a dime.
00:54:44That conniving, underhanded snake.
00:54:47Thank God I broke into his desk.
00:54:48At least now we know why he was so quick to fold on your settlement.
00:54:52Okay, well, let's just say something happened to postpone the divorce.
00:54:55I would still get my share of that two million, right?
00:54:57Well, in theory.
00:54:59But how would you manage that?
00:55:01I know how Carlos thinks.
00:55:03More importantly, what he thinks with.
00:55:16Was that Susan Meyer?
00:55:17Yeah, why?
00:55:18Mr. Delfino asked not to be disturbed.
00:55:21Mine?
00:55:22It's me.
00:55:23Are you decent?
00:55:24Hmm.
00:55:31Hey, Susan.
00:55:43Hey, you.
00:55:50What you doing?
00:55:51I suckered McCluskey into taking the kids for a while so I could kick back and catch up with my old friend, Margarita.
00:55:59You care to join us?
00:56:01Believe me, I would love to, but, um, I gotta, I gotta get dinner started for Julie.
00:56:06Okay.
00:56:10Oh, you know, what the hell?
00:56:12She's 16.
00:56:13She hasn't figured out how to feed herself by now.
00:56:15I failed.
00:56:20Ah, that's nice.
00:56:24So where were we?
00:56:26You were trying to figure out how to kill Edie without doing time.
00:56:29Oh, right.
00:56:31Oh, I wish Paul Young was still around.
00:56:32He'd know what to do.
00:56:37Fine, Gabby.
00:56:37Don't say hi.
00:56:40Hey.
00:56:41Cocktails?
00:56:42Nobody called me?
00:56:43It was spur of the moment.
00:56:44We're numbing the pain of our miserable lives.
00:56:46Oh, well, I was trying to do that with exercise, but why risk a heart attack?
00:56:51Make mine a double.
00:56:55I don't recognize her.
00:56:57Who is she?
00:57:00So we're trying to figure out.
00:57:01Your phone number was written on her hand.
00:57:04I'm sorry.
00:57:05I can't help you.
00:57:06He's had a bit of memory loss.
00:57:09After 2004, things are fuzzy.
00:57:12No memory, huh?
00:57:14It's convenient.
00:57:14Well, thank you for your time, Mr. Delfino.
00:57:22You killed a cop once, didn't you?
00:57:26That was self-defense.
00:57:28Well, it wasn't just beginner's luck.
00:57:30You want to charge me with something, go ahead.
00:57:35Otherwise, get the hell out of my room.
00:57:39Were you always this angry, Mr. Delfino?
00:57:42Oh, can't you remember?
00:57:57So do you sell by the slice, or do I got to buy a whole pie?
00:58:01What are you doing here?
00:58:02I knew how hard you were working, so I figured I'd bring you a little something to eat.
00:58:09And drink.
00:58:13You know, I can't pronounce this wine, which means it's either really expensive, or I have had too much.
00:58:21Can't believe that Lynette doesn't just love this place.
00:58:25If you ask me, she's just a negative, Nellie.
00:58:29I mean, she's just being realistic.
00:58:30I mean, the restaurant business is brutal.
00:58:32It's...
00:58:32Huh.
00:58:33Listen to me, okay?
00:58:35Because I'm a very intuitive person.
00:58:37You have a real aura of success about you.
00:58:44Come on.
00:58:45I'm serious.
00:58:46I believe in you, Tom Scott.
00:58:55Wait, wait, wait, wait, what just happened?
00:58:59We kissed.
00:59:00No, you kissed me.
00:59:01No, no, no, you wanted me to.
00:59:02No, no, no, no, I didn't.
00:59:05Really?
00:59:06Because this is you.
00:59:08My wife doesn't get me.
00:59:09Hey, let's have some more wine alone in a deserted building.
00:59:13I was just looking to vent.
00:59:14I wasn't looking for anything more.
00:59:16Okay, but when opportunity knocks...
00:59:18Nora!
00:59:18Please!
00:59:20I love my wife!
00:59:23Really?
00:59:25You mean the one who thinks that you're a loser?
00:59:28No, the one that loves me enough to keep me from screwing up.
00:59:31I think it's about time I got back home to her.
00:59:35You led me on.
00:59:38You shouldn't have done that.
00:59:50I'm just gonna say it.
00:59:52Tequila makes me happy.
00:59:55Yeah, we're drinking on the porch.
00:59:57You got a problem with that?
00:59:58I know them.
01:00:00And they live on Cyprus.
01:00:01They just celebrated their 53rd wedding anniversary.
01:00:05Show off.
01:00:05Don't worry, it won't last.
01:00:07You're just fooling yourselves!
01:00:09Hey, I know them.
01:00:11Oh, 53 years.
01:00:13What do you think their secret is?
01:00:14I'll take a wild guess.
01:00:16The man never opened a pizza place.
01:00:18Oh, I just thought of something.
01:00:21I'm never gonna celebrate a 53rd wedding anniversary.
01:00:24I'd have to live into my 90s.
01:00:26Oh, my God.
01:00:29I'm gonna die.
01:00:31Bite on this.
01:00:34Can I tell you guys something?
01:00:36Something I can only tell you guys.
01:00:38Oh, God.
01:00:38Here she goes again.
01:00:39What grade is he in?
01:00:41Not what I was gonna say.
01:00:42What I was gonna say is with all his conniving and trickery, I still love Carlos.
01:00:49Yeah, he's hot.
01:00:52Anyway, what if I never find that passion with anybody else?
01:00:57Well, maybe you should try to patch things up with him.
01:01:00Nah, I already paid a lawyer.
01:01:03I'm taking him down.
01:01:05I brought this on myself.
01:01:06I tell Tom, I want you to be your own man.
01:01:08But the truth is, I don't.
01:01:11I want him to have what he wants, if it's what I want.
01:01:17I'm a bitch with a capital C.
01:01:19No, no, you're not.
01:01:21You're a great wife and a great mother.
01:01:26Although, don't you have children?
01:01:30I had passion with Mike.
01:01:33Then drama.
01:01:35Lots of drama.
01:01:37Love isn't supposed to be that hard.
01:01:39Oh, sweet.
01:01:43But you know, with Ian, everything was always easy.
01:01:46You know, that's the kind of guy I could see myself living into my 90s with.
01:01:51So go to Ian.
01:01:53Tell him you made the wrong choice and he's the one you want to be with.
01:01:56What have you got to lose?
01:01:58Excuse me, ladies.
01:02:01Luck, Susan, God called you a cab.
01:02:03I'm looking for a 4347 Ida Greenberg.
01:02:13I'm Ida Greenberg.
01:02:15Yeah, you are.
01:02:17See you later.
01:02:18Go Ida.
01:02:19Go Ida.
01:02:39Susan, you came.
01:02:42Of course I came.
01:02:45Oh.
01:02:46Oh, I just love your house.
01:02:48It always smells like you.
01:02:50Oh, my gosh.
01:02:52It's the thing?
01:02:53Is that tonight?
01:02:54Well, yes.
01:02:55Isn't that why you're here?
01:02:56No.
01:02:57No, no.
01:02:58Actually, I just...
01:02:59I just had something to tell you.
01:03:01Well, of course.
01:03:02Now, Doug, see if you can find Judith for me.
01:03:07Well, as long as you're here, I want you to meet that editor I was telling you about.
01:03:10Oh, I don't think that's a good idea because I didn't really bring my A-game.
01:03:15Is it hot?
01:03:16Are you sloshed?
01:03:19Susan.
01:03:20Oh, is this the Susan you've been telling us all about?
01:03:24Yes, this is she.
01:03:26Could you, um, give us a moment?
01:03:28Oh, of course.
01:03:30Um, what's going on?
01:03:34Nothing.
01:03:35I just had a few drinks with my girlfriends and thank God because it gave me the courage
01:03:39to come over here and tell you what's really in my heart.
01:03:44Go on.
01:03:45But first, I think I should use the powder, right?
01:03:50Oh, of course.
01:03:51It's, um, it's over there.
01:03:59She seems nice, Ian.
01:04:00Oh, yes.
01:04:01She's, um, she's absolutely delightful.
01:04:03I don't want to help.
01:04:11Oh, I'm so sorry that you had to see that.
01:04:15I see you've met Judith.
01:04:22So, with a hundred bucks riding on it, the pressure's on me now.
01:04:25I reach into my bag, I grab my four iron and bada-bing, hole in one.
01:04:31And there's been no living with him ever since.
01:04:34Did I not tell you how hilarious these two are together?
01:04:36Oh, they are a regular barrel of tish.
01:04:40Why, hello, Brie.
01:04:41Carolyn.
01:04:42Oh, do you two know each other?
01:04:44Well, that saves me an introduction.
01:04:47Ah, Tish, you know, I was wondering if you need any help with the Christmas gala.
01:04:50Last year, I was on the decorations committee.
01:04:52Oh, my God, I forgot to call you.
01:04:54What an idiot.
01:04:56We'll talk first thing tomorrow.
01:04:57That would be lovely.
01:04:58Thanks.
01:04:59Nice to see you.
01:05:00Nice to be seen.
01:05:04Well, I need to powder my nose.
01:05:05Care to join me?
01:05:06Oh, I'd love to.
01:05:06I'm so happy we did this.
01:05:11Yes, me too.
01:05:12It's been a delightful evening.
01:05:13So, so fun.
01:05:15Could you get us some extra tissues?
01:05:20You know, I realized something just the other day.
01:05:23You've never seen a picture of Alma.
01:05:25Have you?
01:05:25No.
01:05:27Why?
01:05:38Granted, it's not her best look.
01:05:43When I saw this.
01:05:45That's the police report that Alma filed after Orson hit her.
01:05:48It's all in there.
01:05:50Bruises, contusions, broken wrist.
01:05:53This is not possible.
01:05:56Photos don't lie, Brie.
01:05:59Is this why you apologized?
01:06:01Yes.
01:06:02I wanted you to spend time with me so you can see I'm not some crazy nut out to get you.
01:06:08I'm sorry, but if something like that happened again, I can never forgive myself.
01:06:13I had a feeling you might need these.
01:06:22Bring me another one.
01:06:25Hey, buddy.
01:06:27Want to slow it down a little bit, huh?
01:06:30Barbie?
01:06:31Look, I'm going through something, and I don't have anyone else to talk to about it.
01:06:38I had an affair.
01:06:42Does Carolyn know?
01:06:42She has no idea.
01:06:44I met this girl on a flight from Paris, and we just connected.
01:06:49I know it sounds crazy, but it was love at first sight.
01:06:54Are you still seeing her?
01:06:55No, that's the thing.
01:06:57A few months ago, she stopped returning my calls, and then I went by her place, and I've
01:07:02looked for her everywhere, and she's just disappeared.
01:07:06No, I'll tell you, now I know what you went through with Alma.
01:07:09It's brutal.
01:07:09It gets better.
01:07:11Trust me.
01:07:13I just can't get past it.
01:07:14I can't get Monique out of my mind.
01:07:17Monique?
01:07:18That's her name.
01:07:21Monique.
01:07:21Polier.
01:07:23Isn't she beautiful?
01:07:32She's very pretty.
01:07:37They're back.
01:07:39Wow.
01:07:41Two girls were going a long time.
01:07:42Everything okay?
01:07:43I had to love you.
01:07:46So, who wants dessert?
01:08:00Hey.
01:08:01Hey.
01:08:04What have you been up to?
01:08:05Oh, just a quiet night with the girls.
01:08:13Listen, something happened tonight, and it got me thinking, and you mean more to me than
01:08:20any restaurant ever could.
01:08:22Oh, stop right there.
01:08:23I am the one who should apologize.
01:08:25I have been a bad wife.
01:08:27No, no, no, no, no.
01:08:28You were just trying to keep me from doing something reckless.
01:08:30Oh, well, any wife can support a husband who never takes risks, and I don't want that kind
01:08:34of husband, and I'll be damned if I'm going to be that kind of wife.
01:08:37So, you open your pizza place, and we will find a way to make it work.
01:08:44You don't know what it means to me to hear that.
01:08:46God, I love you.
01:08:53So, what happened tonight?
01:08:56Okay, but don't react until I've told you the whole story, and remember, it's actually
01:09:00a good thing because it brought us back together.
01:09:09Ding dong.
01:09:11I don't know what Tom told you, but he came on to me.
01:09:14I'm sorry.
01:09:15I didn't quite catch that.
01:09:17Why don't you just come on over here and say that to me again?
01:09:21Stay away from me.
01:09:22I have been trying to stay away from you.
01:09:23Mom?
01:09:31Everything's all right.
01:09:32So, you can just go back into your room and play.
01:09:35Kayla, don't move.
01:09:38Okay.
01:09:48Never mind.
01:09:50I'm leaving.
01:09:54First, I'm just going to give your mom a hug.
01:09:57Your association with my family is over.
01:10:00When Kayla comes to visit, you will drop her at the end of the block.
01:10:03You will never again see my husband, and if you try to, I will do to your spine what I just
01:10:09did to your front door.
01:10:12Nod if you understand.
01:10:13And you?
01:10:23I'm going to see you on Saturday, right?
01:10:25Have to get your swimsuit.
01:10:26Good morning.
01:10:39You're looking bright-eyed and bushy.
01:10:42Oh, did you stay here all night?
01:10:47Well, I slept on the sofa.
01:10:48When I brought you home, you were still, as you Americans say, tossing your tacos.
01:10:53Oh, please keep the food references to a minimum.
01:10:58Bless you.
01:11:05So, what else happened?
01:11:07You don't remember?
01:11:08Well, I'll tell you what.
01:11:10I'll repeat what you said last night, and you say whether it was you or the booze talking.
01:11:14Are you ready?
01:11:14Yeah.
01:11:16You said you missed me.
01:11:18Susan or booze?
01:11:19Susan.
01:11:20You said it was a mistake breaking up with me and that you wanted to start again.
01:11:25Susan or booze?
01:11:27Susan?
01:11:29Then you said that you wanted to dress me up like a schoolboy and spank my naughty bottom.
01:11:35Susan or booze?
01:11:38I didn't say that.
01:11:43Yeah, all right, then.
01:11:44But if you had, um, Susan or booze?
01:11:51A little of both.
01:11:52So, boozing.
01:11:54Thank you, Ridley.
01:12:12Here's Jane Doe in the morgue.
01:12:18Is named Monique Boullier.
01:12:21Who's this?
01:12:22Just before she died, she was having an affair with a man named Harvey Bixby.
01:12:26You got that?
01:12:27Yeah.
01:12:28Can I get your name?
01:12:29I'll need to bring you in for a statement.
01:12:44Carlos, could you come help me?
01:12:46Watching the game.
01:12:47It'll just take a second, please.
01:12:55What, Gabby?
01:12:58Whoa.
01:13:00You look nice.
01:13:03Oh, thanks.
01:13:04I'm going to go meet some new friends for dinner.
01:13:05But my zipper's stuck.
01:13:06Can you help me?
01:13:14Man, this is really stuck.
01:13:16It's like somebody put super glue on it or something.
01:13:19Huh.
01:13:20Weird.
01:13:21Well, you know what?
01:13:22I don't want to be late, so I should probably change.
01:13:26Wow.
01:13:28Oh, Carlos.
01:13:29This old thing.
01:13:31You've seen it all before.
01:13:33I'm just going to wear the little blue number.
01:13:35Will you hand me those stockings?
01:13:39Oh, I've got a raggedy nail.
01:13:44You're going to have to help me put those on.
01:13:48Are you sure about that?
01:13:49Well, I do it myself, but I don't want to get a snack.
01:14:02It's been a long time.
01:14:04Really?
01:14:05It seems like yesterday to me.
01:14:13Do you want me to help you hook that?
01:14:16Sure.
01:14:17Why not?
01:14:18Old time's sake.
01:14:19What about your new friends?
01:14:36Decided I'd rather catch up with an old one.
01:14:38Mr. Bigsby, Detective Ridley, homicide.
01:14:55I understand you know her.
01:15:07Oh, all right.
01:15:19Yes, we were sleeping together.
01:15:24Can we do this somewhere else?
01:15:26Sure.
01:15:26Carlos, do you think we're making a mistake?
01:15:37What do you mean?
01:15:39The whole divorce thing.
01:15:41Maybe we shouldn't go through with it.
01:15:43It's not like we're going to find this kind of passion with anyone else.
01:15:49Are you saying you want to stay together?
01:15:50Yeah.
01:15:51I guess I am.
01:15:51I guess I am.
01:15:55Why don't we just put all of this behind us and stay together?
01:15:58What do you say?
01:15:59Oh, baby.
01:16:00If you knew how long I waited to hear you say the...
01:16:03What?
01:16:10What's so funny?
01:16:11Oh, man.
01:16:13I thought I'd be able to get through this without cracking up, but you are just too funny.
01:16:16There's a little something that I need to own up to.
01:16:24I know that the only reason you slept with me was because I got a new job.
01:16:29You got a new job?
01:16:30Honey, that's wonderful.
01:16:32Gabby, please.
01:16:34You're a model, not a model slash actress.
01:16:37There is no job.
01:16:39The contracts at my desk are fake.
01:16:40I mailed them to myself.
01:16:43What?
01:16:43Why would you do that?
01:16:47Well, let's see.
01:16:52You did this just to get me in bed?
01:16:55No.
01:16:56I did it because I knew you'd smell money and come crawling back.
01:16:59Then I could turn you down and walk out on my own terms.
01:17:02Your terms?
01:17:03You don't get to screw around on me, take my money, and then walk away without a scratch.
01:17:08I want you hurting, baby.
01:17:10And judging by the look on your face, when you saw two million imaginary dollars disappear,
01:17:14I succeeded.
01:17:17You are a bastard.
01:17:19Better a bastard than a whore.
01:17:21Oh, God.
01:17:32Hello?
01:17:33There's been an accident.
01:17:34My husband, he...
01:17:36I'm going to have to call you back.
01:17:42Carlos?
01:17:46Carlos?
01:17:48Honey?
01:17:52Carlos?
01:17:58Oh, yeah.
01:18:01It's on.
01:18:02There's a place in St. Timothy's Church where sinners go to confess their sins.
01:18:15And once they're done, they expect absolution.
01:18:18But the truth is, not all confessions are worthy of such forgiveness.
01:18:24Most who unveil hidden agendas deserve the condemnation they receive.
01:18:30Most who disclose vengeful motives merit the punishment that follows.
01:18:36Only the truly repentant have any right at all to expect a second chance.
01:18:42Come on, what's my surprise?
01:18:58I thought you'd never get here.
01:19:03Which is why it's best to think twice before you confess.
01:19:07What?
01:19:09What's wrong?
01:19:10The girl who died.
01:19:16Especially if you don't know what it is you're confessing to.
01:19:21I think I knew her.