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BSTVSHOWS
  • 6/19/2025
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Transcript
00:00:01Previously on Desperate Housewives
00:00:04I would love her like she is my own.
00:00:06Lynette made a promise.
00:00:08His wife goes missing, then his mistress turns up dead?
00:00:11I just can't believe that Orson could do such a thing.
00:00:13Mike got arrested.
00:00:14Oh, thank God.
00:00:15And a friendship hit the rocks.
00:00:16I am not playing with a woman that is willing to let Mike take the ball for her psycho husband.
00:00:20Susan made a deal.
00:00:21I'll hire the best lawyer in town, on one condition. You can't see him anymore.
00:00:25And the missing wife returned.
00:00:27Hello, Alma.
00:00:30To understand the journey of Alma Hodge, you first need to know how it started.
00:00:38It began the day she wed Orson Hodge, a man she had tricked into marriage, by getting pregnant.
00:00:46Alma was confident that as their family grew, Orson's feelings for her would grow as well.
00:00:53But then something went wrong, and the baby she had been counting on never came.
00:01:01So Alma found herself married to a man, who seemed to despise her.
00:01:07Still, Alma hoped things would get better.
00:01:12Mama loves her baby. Does the baby love Mama?
00:01:16Until the day she discovered Orson was having an affair.
00:01:21And Alma realized the only way she'd ever get her husband to appreciate her, was to leave him.
00:01:28Immediately.
00:01:29If you don't get back in your cage right now, I'm gonna have to leave you behind, please!
00:01:45Please!
00:01:47No!
00:02:05Going somewhere?
00:02:06I'm staying at a motel tonight.
00:02:10Why?
00:02:11I don't have time to discuss it. I'm late for the bus.
00:02:16Why?
00:02:25I'm going away because I know you're having an affair.
00:02:30Ah, I see.
00:02:31Aren't you even gonna deny it?
00:02:34On the contrary.
00:02:36I want to shout it from the rooftops!
00:02:38For the first time in my life, I'm actually in love.
00:02:41How could you say that to me? I'm your wife!
00:02:44We both know why we got married.
00:02:47And it had nothing to do with affection.
00:02:50So you don't care if I go?
00:02:53No.
00:02:58Wait!
00:02:59This isn't what's supposed to happen. You should be begging me to stay with you.
00:03:05I deserve to be happy, Alma. So do you. And we're clearly not gonna find that together.
00:03:10Orson, no!
00:03:13It was at that moment Alma realized it wasn't enough to leave her husband.
00:03:18He had to be punished.
00:03:24Yes, this was the journey of Alma Hodge.
00:03:28Free Hodge? I'm Alma Hodge. I believe we have someone in common.
00:03:33And it wasn't over yet.
00:03:37And it wasn't over yet.
00:04:03There is a time of day all housewives look forward to.
00:04:23It occurs just after the chores have been completed.
00:04:27And right before the children come home from school.
00:04:31It's a time for good friends to get together.
00:04:35Have a cup of coffee.
00:04:37And exchange gossip.
00:04:39About the other good friends who couldn't make it that day.
00:04:43Brie let Orson move back in.
00:04:46You're kidding when?
00:04:47Yesterday.
00:04:48So disappointed in her.
00:04:50Well, the police did arrest Mike.
00:04:52I mean, I know you think he's innocent, but surely you can understand why Brie's feelings have changed.
00:04:56Well, mine haven't.
00:04:57And I know something that Brie probably doesn't.
00:05:00When Orson was 17, he spent time in a mental institution.
00:05:09How did you find that out?
00:05:10I snuck into his office and rifled through his things.
00:05:13Of course you did.
00:05:15But that doesn't prove he had anything to do with Monique's murder.
00:05:18No, but it's a piece of the puzzle.
00:05:20I mean, he did have an affair with her.
00:05:22And when you combine that with the fact that his first wife went missing...
00:05:30So you're...
00:05:31Alma.
00:05:32Where have you been all this time?
00:05:33In Canada.
00:05:34My aunt lives there.
00:05:35Well, you should have told someone.
00:05:37People thought you were dead.
00:05:39Some even thought that Orson killed you.
00:05:41Well, that's sort of what I wanted them to think.
00:05:44That's why I left my bird behind and only took cash, so they couldn't trace me through my credit cards.
00:05:48So you deliberately framed Orson?
00:05:50I'm not saying it was my finest hour, but you have to understand, Orson hurt me very badly.
00:05:57He cheated on me.
00:05:58Yes, I know.
00:05:59With Monique Poulier.
00:06:01And I thought if I disappeared, she'd get scared and leave him like he left me.
00:06:07Isn't jealousy awful?
00:06:09So why have you come back?
00:06:11I found this fantastic therapist.
00:06:13He told me that by holding on to my anger, I was really just hurting myself, which is hard to deny.
00:06:18I mean, hello, I'm here in Winnipeg with the deaf aunt, no credit.
00:06:23So I thought, it's time to make amends.
00:06:27Marlene?
00:06:29Mrs. McLean canceled, so free for lunch.
00:06:33Oh, actually, we have a guest.
00:06:36Hello, Orson.
00:06:38Oh, hello.
00:06:40So, what is it with you and redheads?
00:06:49Hey, I hope you don't mind me springing this picnic on you.
00:06:52I figured it'd be more fun than some stuffy restaurant.
00:06:54Are you kidding?
00:06:56What could be more romantic?
00:06:58Baffled bottles, son of a bitch.
00:07:01More wine?
00:07:02Yes, keep it coming.
00:07:05Hello?
00:07:06Hey, hey, who's the dork?
00:07:08Carlos?
00:07:09What's with that cap?
00:07:10Extra, extra, read all about it.
00:07:13Where the hell are you?
00:07:21What are you doing at Mike's house?
00:07:23I live here.
00:07:24What do you mean you've lived there? Since when?
00:07:26Gabby, my car's been in the driveway for three weeks.
00:07:28Even you can't be that self-absorbed.
00:07:30Well, as you can see, we have more pleasant things to focus on.
00:07:35So when are you going to tell Jimmy Olsen there that you hate picnics?
00:07:39I'm going to hang up now.
00:07:41So, where were we?
00:07:44Your ex-husband moved in across the street?
00:07:48What's that going to be like?
00:07:50Yeah!
00:07:51Are you going to kiss him?
00:07:54That's right, Carlos.
00:07:56We have had some problems with raccoons getting into the trash.
00:08:00So, why don't you just put a lid on it?
00:08:08Okay, they're here.
00:08:10Now listen, stand up.
00:08:11Kayla has been through a lot, so when she walks in the door, I want you to make her feel welcome, okay?
00:08:15Give her a hug and be really nice.
00:08:17I'm giving her my room.
00:08:18How much nicer do I have to be?
00:08:20Well, nicer than that if she's going to get all your toys, too.
00:08:23Hey, hey, hey!
00:08:24Look who I found wandering around the airport.
00:08:27Hi, Kayla. We missed you. We're so glad you're here.
00:08:36Okay, boys.
00:08:37Good, yeah. Okay, so give her some room.
00:08:47Hey, wow! Look! Are those presents for Kayla?
00:08:50Yes, they are.
00:08:52Hey, look at that present. Gave you a harmonic. Isn't that cool?
00:08:55Oh, here at the spot. It sounds mysterious.
00:08:58Thanks.
00:09:03And what did you get for a porter?
00:09:05A video game. I get to play it whenever I want.
00:09:08Porter!
00:09:12You know what? I got you something, too.
00:09:15This is Nellie.
00:09:19My grandma gave her to me when I was little,
00:09:22and I was hoping you could take care of her for me.
00:09:27Thanks.
00:09:31Hey, honey, why don't you take your stuff and go upstairs,
00:09:34and then get ready for lunch, okay?
00:09:36I'm gonna make some chili.
00:09:37Okay, Daddy.
00:09:41Honey, that was so sweet to give her your doll.
00:09:46Oh, she doesn't seem that knocked out by it.
00:09:48Well, just give her some time.
00:09:49She'll come around. It's a tough adjustment.
00:09:52Okay.
00:10:04I must say, Brie, I don't know when I've tasted such moist pound cake.
00:10:09Sour cream.
00:10:11Ah.
00:10:12So, whatever happened to my parrot?
00:10:20I set it free.
00:10:22Mmm.
00:10:23Orson, they don't fare well in the wild.
00:10:25You should've saw-
00:10:26For God's sake, Alma, who cares about the damn bird?
00:10:29You set me up.
00:10:31Why don't I wrap up a piece of this pound cake for you to enjoy later?
00:10:34Do you have any idea what you put me through?
00:10:39You almost ruined my life.
00:10:41You've rebounded nicely. Brie's lovely.
00:10:43Don't change the subject.
00:10:44You put me through a lot, too, Orson.
00:10:47But I forgave you.
00:10:48Can't we just put this behind us?
00:10:50And that's all you've come back for?
00:10:52Closure?
00:10:53Of course.
00:10:54What else?
00:10:58I'm out of lipstick. Can I borrow yours?
00:11:00Sure.
00:11:03Cherry berry.
00:11:05Austin likes the way it tastes.
00:11:06Oh, I so did not need to know that.
00:11:09So, um, where are you going?
00:11:10Down to the jailhouse to talk to Mike.
00:11:13But didn't you tell Ian you wouldn't see him anymore?
00:11:16Yeah.
00:11:17But somebody's gotta tell him about his new lawyer.
00:11:19Otherwise the guy's gonna show up and he's gonna go,
00:11:21Who the hell is he? Ian gets that.
00:11:25Besides, why would it be a big deal?
00:11:27Mike and I are over.
00:11:28I was just wondering, cause you know you're putting on lipstick to go to a prison.
00:11:37Thank you for clearing things up.
00:11:40Oh, it was the least I could do.
00:11:43Orson, I'm truly sorry for the pain I've caused.
00:11:47And if there's anything else I can do.
00:11:51Actually, there is.
00:11:53I'd love it if you could join us for dinner this weekend.
00:11:55There are some friends that I'm just...
00:11:58Dying for you to meet.
00:11:59Dying for you to meet.
00:12:06Hey, how you doing?
00:12:08You got me a lawyer?
00:12:09Yeah, and he is fantastic.
00:12:11You cannot believe the scum he has gotten off.
00:12:15Not that you're scum.
00:12:17But you know, if you were, you'd be sitting pretty.
00:12:20I'm paying you back.
00:12:21Every penny.
00:12:22Oh.
00:12:23Well.
00:12:24You know, we'll figure that out later.
00:12:25I can't believe that I just listened to all that stuff Edie told me about you.
00:12:29And it turns out, you're the only one standing by me.
00:12:34You're a good friend, Susan.
00:12:37Um.
00:12:39Yeah, about that.
00:12:41It's Ian.
00:12:43He's not crazy about me spending time with my ex.
00:12:46Even an ex who doesn't remember dating you?
00:12:49No.
00:12:51I remember.
00:12:52And I guess that's enough for him.
00:12:55I'm sorry.
00:12:57Well, I, uh, can't say that I blame him.
00:13:03Hmm.
00:13:07Take care of yourself, Mike.
00:13:10You too, Susan.
00:13:23Dinner's ready.
00:13:24Kayla, I made your favorite.
00:13:27Tacos.
00:13:31Here you go.
00:13:33Where's my daddy?
00:13:34Oh, sorry, sweetheart.
00:13:35He's working late trying to get the restaurant ready.
00:13:38Oh, lovely, Parker.
00:13:39Go wash your hands.
00:13:40Come on.
00:13:43Kayla, where are you going?
00:13:45To watch TV.
00:13:47Oh, sweetie, we don't watch TV during dinner.
00:13:49But my show is on.
00:13:51I'm sorry.
00:13:52Those are the rules.
00:13:53My mommy let me.
00:13:56Well...
00:14:00Just this once.
00:14:09Okay, okay.
00:14:10I know what you're thinking, but Kayla's going through a hard time right now.
00:14:13Come and sit down.
00:14:14Letting her watch TV is like me letting you eat ice cream when you're sick.
00:14:19Well, she's not sick.
00:14:21Well, that's true, but she's sad.
00:14:24I'm sad I can't watch TV.
00:14:27Eat your tacos.
00:14:28Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:14:29Sit your butts down.
00:14:30It's not fair.
00:14:31I don't care.
00:14:32We have rules.
00:14:33Well, she gets to.
00:14:34She is special now.
00:14:35Sit down.
00:14:36Come on.
00:14:37Is she a dessert, too?
00:14:38Of course I do.
00:14:39What an amazing documentary.
00:14:40I read the director's shot over 400 hours of film.
00:14:41Really?
00:14:42I only counted half that.
00:14:44I get it.
00:14:45You pick the next one.
00:14:46Okay.
00:14:47Let's go.
00:14:48Let's go.
00:14:49Let's go.
00:14:50Oh, let's go.
00:14:51Of course I do.
00:14:58What an amazing documentary.
00:15:00I read the director's shot over 400 hours of film.
00:15:03Really? I only counted half that.
00:15:06I get it.
00:15:07You pick the next one.
00:15:09Okay.
00:15:12Look at you.
00:15:14Who knew you were such a romantic?
00:15:17Actually, I didn't send them.
00:15:21You didn't?
00:15:25So, uh, who's making me look bad?
00:15:29Uh, there's no signature.
00:15:33Sorry, this is kind of awkward.
00:15:35No, I don't care who worships you from afar.
00:15:39As long as I get to do it up close.
00:15:43Oh, that's sweet that you're not jealous.
00:15:48Carlos would have hit the roof if some guy sent me.
00:15:51Would you excuse me a minute?
00:16:07Nice try, Carlos.
00:16:09Huh?
00:16:10Oh, don't act innocent.
00:16:11You know you sent me these flowers.
00:16:15Why would I get you flowers?
00:16:16To sabotage my new relationship.
00:16:20Well, a picnic boy?
00:16:21What do I care if you go out with him?
00:16:23Oh, you care?
00:16:24First you move across the street,
00:16:25and then earlier today I catch you spying on me.
00:16:28I was not spying.
00:16:29I was mocking you.
00:16:30You need to move on, Carlos.
00:16:32I have moved on.
00:16:33You're the one talking to your ex during the middle of a date.
00:16:36Is he that boring?
00:16:37Bill is not boring.
00:16:39He is vibrant.
00:16:42And sexy.
00:16:44And yet here you are.
00:16:45She threw your doll in the trash?
00:17:15No.
00:17:16First she ripped off its arms,
00:17:18stuffed it with chili,
00:17:19then she threw it in the trash.
00:17:22So what did you do?
00:17:24Nothing.
00:17:26And this is after you let her watch TV during dinner?
00:17:29Well, I didn't know what else to do.
00:17:32I'm trying to win over a little girl
00:17:33who clearly doesn't want a new mother.
00:17:35Well, I guess giving her special treatment
00:17:38isn't going to solve anything.
00:17:39You know what might solve something?
00:17:45If you were home once in a while,
00:17:46you're the one she listens to.
00:17:48I am trying to open up a restaurant.
00:17:50Our life savings is riding on this thing.
00:17:52I know.
00:17:52I know.
00:17:53I know.
00:17:54You know what?
00:17:54I don't want you to be afraid
00:17:56to take a firm hand with Kayla.
00:17:58She is part of our family now.
00:18:01You know what that means.
00:18:04Yeah.
00:18:05I should treat her as badly
00:18:06as I treat my own children.
00:18:08Exactly.
00:18:09Like, I don't want that.
00:18:18Ugh.
00:18:21Sorry.
00:18:21Um, I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet.
00:18:26That's cool.
00:18:28You can't blame me for trying, though.
00:18:33Austin, you know I want to.
00:18:35It's just...
00:18:36Hey, don't sweat it.
00:18:37And if you're not ready,
00:18:38you're not ready.
00:18:45So he didn't pressure you at all?
00:18:47He's a great guy.
00:18:48I know.
00:18:49I'm so lucky.
00:18:50Underneath all that bad boy posturing,
00:18:51he's a real gentleman.
00:18:54Wow.
00:18:54You're not only a virgin,
00:18:56you think like one.
00:18:57Beat it, keys dropper.
00:19:00No, wait.
00:19:00Um, what did you mean by that?
00:19:03Well, uh, guys need sex.
00:19:06All right, it's basic science.
00:19:08So if he's not getting it from you,
00:19:09he'll end up getting it somewhere else.
00:19:11You're a moron.
00:19:12Not all guys pressure girls for sex.
00:19:15Yeah, gay guys don't.
00:19:16But Austin's not gay.
00:19:18Not even after three beers.
00:19:22Don't ask.
00:19:24So what's your point?
00:19:26If a guy has to wait too long
00:19:29to see you naked,
00:19:30he'll end up seeing you as a friend.
00:19:33Again, science.
00:19:36Don't listen to him.
00:19:38You hold on to your virginity.
00:19:39If Austin won't wait,
00:19:40then he doesn't deserve you.
00:19:41I just don't want to lose him.
00:19:43It's better than losing your self-respect.
00:19:46Take it from a girl
00:19:47who's known at school
00:19:47as Little Miss Van de Tramp.
00:19:50I thought you made that up.
00:19:51Only because it was nicer
00:19:52than the other names
00:19:53they were calling me.
00:19:54I really appreciate
00:20:03you donating this stuff.
00:20:04Anything for a good cause.
00:20:05Everyone at the shelter
00:20:06is going to be so exciting.
00:20:08I mean, to you and me,
00:20:09these are just a bunch of old clothes,
00:20:10but to a homeless woman,
00:20:12it's a chance for her
00:20:14to feel pretty again.
00:20:16You okay?
00:20:18What?
00:20:19I asked if you're okay.
00:20:20You seem kind of distracted.
00:20:21I am fine.
00:20:25Yes, I just remembered
00:20:26today's my mother's birthday.
00:20:28Can we stop by the florist
00:20:30on the way to the shelter?
00:20:35Detective Ridley,
00:20:36my name is Susan Meyer,
00:20:37and I'm calling to drop a dime
00:20:40on someone.
00:20:41That's the expression, right?
00:20:42Yes, ma'am.
00:20:43You got the lingo down pat.
00:20:45Good.
00:20:47His name is Orson Hodge,
00:20:49and he had an affair
00:20:50with the woman
00:20:51that you think
00:20:52Mike Delfino killed.
00:20:53Monique Paul here.
00:20:55Are you sure?
00:20:55Because Miss Hodge
00:20:57saw body in the morgue.
00:20:58He acted like he didn't know her.
00:20:59Well, he does,
00:21:00and so he's pretending he didn't.
00:21:02That's suspicious, right?
00:21:03Well, uh...
00:21:05Oh, uh, can you hold on?
00:21:07Hello?
00:21:08Susan, hi.
00:21:09It's Bree.
00:21:10Bree?
00:21:11Uh, hi.
00:21:13Can you hold on a second?
00:21:14It's Orson's wife.
00:21:16She can't know I called you.
00:21:18Then how about
00:21:18you don't tell her?
00:21:19Right.
00:21:20Sorry, uh,
00:21:22just new to this
00:21:23whole snitch thing.
00:21:24Hold on, okay?
00:21:26Bree, hi.
00:21:27Sorry about that.
00:21:28Damn telemarketer.
00:21:30So, what can I do for you?
00:21:32I just feel really awful
00:21:33about our fight,
00:21:34and I think it's time
00:21:35for an apology.
00:21:36Oh.
00:21:38Bree, I am so relieved.
00:21:41Would you join Orson and me
00:21:42for dinner tomorrow night?
00:21:44Oh, uh...
00:21:46Sure.
00:21:48Good, I'll see you at eight.
00:21:50Bree.
00:21:51I just want you to know
00:21:52that no matter what,
00:21:54your friendship
00:21:55means the world to me.
00:21:56Oh, Susan,
00:21:57you know I feel exactly the same.
00:21:59It's me again.
00:22:01You should also know
00:22:01that Orson spent
00:22:02a year in an asylum.
00:22:05Hi, can I help you?
00:22:10Hi, uh, I received some flowers
00:22:12from your shop yesterday,
00:22:14and the card didn't say
00:22:14who they were from.
00:22:15Can you check?
00:22:16The name is Solis?
00:22:17Sure, sure.
00:22:18Just give me a sec here.
00:22:21Solis?
00:22:21Yeah.
00:22:24Solis.
00:22:25Solis.
00:22:26Huh, this is odd.
00:22:29The buyer asked
00:22:29her to remain anonymous.
00:22:31Really?
00:22:32Uh, well,
00:22:32the flowers were so beautiful,
00:22:34I'd like to know
00:22:34who to thank.
00:22:37Sorry.
00:22:37I have to honor
00:22:38their request.
00:22:39Why?
00:22:39They're just flowers.
00:22:40They're not government secrets.
00:22:41If you don't mind,
00:22:44I'm busy.
00:22:45Okay, wait, wait, wait.
00:22:46Let me explain.
00:22:47What's to explain?
00:22:48A pretty girl gets flowers.
00:22:50Do you know how many girls
00:22:51never get flowers?
00:22:52I work in a flower shop.
00:22:54I've never gotten
00:22:54any freaking flowers.
00:22:56So stop your whining
00:22:57about who sent them
00:22:58and just be glad
00:22:59he did.
00:23:07Uh, you're right,
00:23:08and I am so sorry
00:23:09for taking up
00:23:10so much of your time.
00:23:13Sorry for doing this.
00:23:15Wait,
00:23:15where the hell are you doing?
00:23:18I'm gonna make it up to you,
00:23:19okay?
00:23:20Once I'm done,
00:23:21I'll send you flowers.
00:23:30Hey!
00:23:31Don't get away with it.
00:23:33I know where you live.
00:23:34Yeah, well,
00:23:34stop by.
00:23:35We'll hot tub.
00:23:36Hey, Mr. Help!
00:23:41She locked me in here!
00:23:43Gabby?
00:23:46It's totally her fault.
00:23:47I mean,
00:23:47I simply asked her
00:23:49if Carlos sent me the flowers,
00:23:50and she refused
00:23:51to show me the order slip.
00:23:52Are you still hung up on that?
00:23:54For God's sake!
00:23:55No, no, no, wait, wait, wait.
00:23:56I just need a couple more minutes.
00:23:57I need to know the truth.
00:23:58What truth is that?
00:23:59Huh?
00:23:59That you're still obsessed
00:24:00with your ex-husband?
00:24:02What?
00:24:02No, he's obsessed with me.
00:24:04You just imprisoned a florist
00:24:06to find out
00:24:07if he sent you roses.
00:24:13Okay, I see what you mean.
00:24:16There, I'm done.
00:24:19Let's go.
00:24:20Actually,
00:24:21I think I'm done, too.
00:24:23I'm sorry.
00:24:36It's okay.
00:24:37I'm probably not ready to date.
00:24:38And just so you know,
00:24:51I am ready to date.
00:24:56All right,
00:24:57let's hit it.
00:25:00Come on, Kayla.
00:25:01I haven't finished my ice cream.
00:25:03Well, I'm sorry,
00:25:03but we gotta go.
00:25:04I have a dinner party
00:25:04I have to get to.
00:25:05They got to finish
00:25:06their ice cream.
00:25:09Well,
00:25:10they, uh,
00:25:10you know,
00:25:11wolfed it down
00:25:11like kids are supposed to,
00:25:12so hurry it up.
00:25:20Kayla,
00:25:21I'm not fooling around.
00:25:23We're going.
00:25:26Mm-hmm.
00:25:27Okay.
00:25:29Boys,
00:25:29go to the car.
00:25:30I'll be out in a minute.
00:25:31Go.
00:25:31Okay.
00:25:32Okay.
00:25:32Okay.
00:25:32Okay.
00:25:35Listen, sweetheart,
00:25:39I don't blame you
00:25:39for being angry.
00:25:41Your mom's gone,
00:25:42and you're stuck
00:25:43with me.
00:25:46But
00:25:46the last thing
00:25:53she said to me
00:25:54was,
00:25:54promise you'll take care
00:25:55of Kayla,
00:25:56and I am going to.
00:25:58But you're gonna have
00:25:59to help me,
00:25:59okay?
00:26:00Okay.
00:26:00We can leave
00:26:04when I'm done.
00:26:14Okay.
00:26:14Let's go.
00:26:15Hey!
00:26:17Whoa, whoa, whoa!
00:26:17Okay!
00:26:18What's with Ellie?
00:26:19Stop!
00:26:19Stop!
00:26:19Stop!
00:26:20Stop screaming!
00:26:20Stop!
00:26:21Leave me alone!
00:26:22You're not my mommy!
00:26:23Mommy!
00:26:24Mommy!
00:26:30Guys, how would you
00:26:52like to eat dinner
00:26:52in front of the television
00:26:53for a whole week?
00:26:55What are you guys
00:27:04doing here?
00:27:08Jill, stop!
00:27:09Wait, I can't hurt
00:27:10him right here!
00:27:11In the car!
00:27:13Come on!
00:27:14We're going home!
00:27:15Get your seatbelt!
00:27:17Kids,
00:27:18they're always roughhousing.
00:27:25Why'd you stop?
00:27:43Well, it's getting late.
00:27:45I got your blouse unbuttoned.
00:27:47That's usually when
00:27:48we call it a night.
00:27:50Do you want to call it a night?
00:27:53What?
00:27:53Do you want to grab
00:27:54a pizza or something?
00:27:55I want to do what
00:28:04you want to do.
00:28:07Well,
00:28:07you know what
00:28:08I want to do.
00:28:11Well, okay.
00:28:14Are you sure?
00:28:16Yeah, I'm sure.
00:28:25You can always spot the new guys
00:28:38by the way they pick
00:28:39through their food.
00:28:43So what did you do
00:28:44when you thought
00:28:44no one was looking?
00:28:45Cops say I killed a woman.
00:28:49But you didn't, right?
00:28:52Actually,
00:28:52I have no idea.
00:28:55I got pretty banged up
00:28:56in an accident.
00:28:58The last two years
00:28:59are in blank.
00:29:01Well,
00:29:01it's a fresh approach.
00:29:04I don't know
00:29:04the jury's going to swallow it.
00:29:06It's the truth.
00:29:10I believe you.
00:29:15Okay,
00:29:16Mrs. McCluskey's downstairs
00:29:17and we will be right
00:29:19across the street
00:29:19if you need us.
00:29:20Okay, Daddy.
00:29:21You know,
00:29:24I heard what happened
00:29:25with Lynette today.
00:29:27Hey,
00:29:28she is doing her best.
00:29:29Why are you being
00:29:29so hard on her?
00:29:31Because it's her fault
00:29:31my mommy died.
00:29:33No,
00:29:34no, no, honey.
00:29:34It's not.
00:29:35Mom only went to that store
00:29:36because Lynette
00:29:37was trying to steal me.
00:29:38Okay,
00:29:38that is not true.
00:29:40Look, honey,
00:29:41it is way
00:29:41more complicated
00:29:43than that.
00:29:45I know you miss
00:29:46your mommy
00:29:47and she loved you
00:29:48very much.
00:29:49But guess what?
00:29:51Lynette loves you too.
00:29:55That's why
00:29:56I've got to give her a chance.
00:29:58Can you do that for me?
00:30:02Okay,
00:30:03I'll be good.
00:30:05That's my girl.
00:30:07But I'm never
00:30:08going to love her.
00:30:10And you can't make me.
00:30:21Well, you've won.
00:30:28What did I win?
00:30:33Bill and I split up.
00:30:35Can't say I'm surprised.
00:30:37It wasn't right for you.
00:30:38I know.
00:30:39So, just admit
00:30:42you sent the flowers.
00:30:44I didn't.
00:30:46Carlos,
00:30:47just tell me.
00:30:48I won't be mad.
00:30:49I promise.
00:30:51Gabby,
00:30:51if I was going to send you flowers,
00:30:52I wouldn't send you pink roses.
00:30:55I'd send you white orchids
00:30:56because I know
00:30:57they're your favorite.
00:30:58And if I wanted to cheer you up,
00:31:02sunflowers.
00:31:03And for the flu,
00:31:06blue irises.
00:31:07I hate that you know me so well.
00:31:21And it took so long
00:31:22for that to happen.
00:31:23Now I have to start over again
00:31:24with somebody else.
00:31:26Yeah.
00:31:27That's what dating's for.
00:31:29I know.
00:31:29And it sucks.
00:31:31I mean, you saw me.
00:31:32I went on a picnic
00:31:33and ate pudding out of a can.
00:31:34It was horrible.
00:31:37Well, if it makes you feel any better,
00:31:39I got dragged to the ballet
00:31:40the other night.
00:31:43So, you are dating.
00:31:46That's why you've been
00:31:47lifting weights and jogging.
00:31:49Well, if you want to
00:31:50bag the big game,
00:31:52you've got to work on the guns.
00:31:58I'll give you this.
00:32:01You're going to be
00:32:02a tough act to follow, Carlos.
00:32:07I got you, babe.
00:32:11I'm so sorry to keep you waiting,
00:32:29but I don't want to introduce you
00:32:30until all my guests are here.
00:32:32I don't mind.
00:32:34By the way,
00:32:35when my friends ask you
00:32:37what happened,
00:32:38and they will,
00:32:40I don't think it's necessary
00:32:41to go into all that
00:32:42unpleasantness about
00:32:44Orson and Monique.
00:32:45All they need to know
00:32:46is that you're back
00:32:47and we're on good terms.
00:32:49And Orson didn't kill me.
00:32:52And Orson didn't kill you.
00:32:53Oh, okay.
00:32:56Just one minute.
00:32:57That'll be Susan.
00:33:19Hi.
00:33:20I brought you a bundt cake.
00:33:21Don't worry.
00:33:22I didn't make it.
00:33:23You didn't have to do that.
00:33:24I was really touched
00:33:25by your call.
00:33:26It was so big of you.
00:33:27Well,
00:33:28when you're wrong,
00:33:29you're wrong.
00:33:33Now that we're all assembled,
00:33:34I'd like to introduce
00:33:35the guest of honor.
00:33:37I hope you'll all be
00:33:37as delighted to meet her
00:33:39as I was.
00:33:40You can come in now.
00:33:46Everyone,
00:33:47this is Alma Hodge,
00:33:49Orson's first wife.
00:33:50Oh, about that apology,
00:33:56any time you're ready.
00:34:00So you have been in Canada
00:34:02this entire time?
00:34:03Well, my Aunt Agnes
00:34:04has a place in Winnipeg.
00:34:05I hadn't planned on staying
00:34:07so long,
00:34:07but I needed the time
00:34:08to find myself.
00:34:09It would have been nice
00:34:10if someone else could have found you.
00:34:11There was a whole lot
00:34:12of drama around here.
00:34:13Yes, I heard.
00:34:14People actually thought Orson
00:34:15had done away with me.
00:34:16Amazing, isn't it?
00:34:19Where some people's minds
00:34:20will go.
00:34:24Well,
00:34:25you've got to hand it to her.
00:34:26Just when you think
00:34:27Bree's thrown every
00:34:28conceivable theme party,
00:34:29she hosts a shame on you
00:34:30for thinking my husband
00:34:31killed someone dinner.
00:34:32So Alma's alive,
00:34:33big deal.
00:34:34We still don't know
00:34:34what went down
00:34:35between Orson and Monique.
00:34:36Susan, please.
00:34:37We've got stupid enough
00:34:38for suspecting him.
00:34:39Just let it go.
00:34:39Oh.
00:34:44It may be a little late
00:34:45for that.
00:34:46Detective Ridley,
00:34:48can I help you?
00:34:49Yes, I'd like to speak
00:34:50to your husband.
00:34:52Oh, well,
00:34:53I'm afraid he's not here,
00:34:54but I will be happy
00:34:55to tell him
00:34:55that you came by.
00:34:57Who is it, darling?
00:35:02Excuse us.
00:35:06Can't this wait?
00:35:06We're having a dinner party.
00:35:09Hello, Dr. Hodge.
00:35:11Detective Ridley.
00:35:12We need you to come with us.
00:35:13We have some questions
00:35:14about that Jane Doe
00:35:15we showed you in the morgue.
00:35:17Why do you think
00:35:18I'd know anything about her?
00:35:19Well, you were having
00:35:21an affair with her
00:35:21when she died.
00:35:24Where did you hear that?
00:35:30Susan.
00:35:33I didn't know
00:35:33they were going to come tonight.
00:35:37I'm happy to answer
00:35:38any questions
00:35:39that you might have.
00:35:40My apologies.
00:35:41Please stay.
00:35:42Enjoy the dessert.
00:35:43I don't believe this.
00:35:49You called the police?
00:35:51Well, obviously
00:35:51you weren't going to.
00:35:52They needed to know
00:35:53that that dead woman
00:35:54was Burson's mistress.
00:35:55I told you that
00:35:56in confidence.
00:35:57Did you seriously think
00:35:58I could sit on information
00:35:59that would exonerate Mike?
00:36:01If you had seen
00:36:02his face in jail
00:36:03the other day...
00:36:04The other day?
00:36:05You saw Mike?
00:36:06Yeah.
00:36:06Just to tell him
00:36:08about the lawyer.
00:36:10I know that Mike
00:36:11is innocent.
00:36:11Right.
00:36:12Just like you knew
00:36:13she was dead.
00:36:15I thought we had
00:36:16an agreement.
00:36:17We do.
00:36:18Can we talk about this later?
00:36:19When?
00:36:20After your next
00:36:21conjugal visit?
00:36:23Ian!
00:36:24Wait!
00:36:25Boy,
00:36:25when it comes to Mike
00:36:26there's no one
00:36:27you won't betray.
00:36:28Excuse me?
00:36:29Hey, guys.
00:36:31Please leave my house.
00:36:32Bree!
00:36:33You heard me.
00:36:33Get out.
00:36:34Okay, Bree.
00:36:35I know you're angry
00:36:36but for the sake
00:36:36of our friendship...
00:36:37Oh, make no mistake.
00:36:39Our friendship is over.
00:36:46Okay.
00:36:48Okay.
00:36:56So, Winnipeg.
00:36:59It must get pretty cold
00:37:00up there.
00:37:07I'm just getting my coat.
00:37:08Ian, please.
00:37:09I just lost one
00:37:10of my best friends.
00:37:10I can't lose you, too.
00:37:11You said that you
00:37:12wouldn't see him again.
00:37:13But you had to know
00:37:14that I would go
00:37:15one more time
00:37:15to just explain everything.
00:37:17Actually, no, I didn't.
00:37:18Well, that's just crazy.
00:37:19Why are you acting
00:37:20like a crazy person?
00:37:21Because you've already
00:37:22left me once
00:37:23for this guy.
00:37:24Things are different now.
00:37:25I love you.
00:37:26You don't have to
00:37:27worry about that anymore.
00:37:29We're going to make
00:37:30this relationship work
00:37:30and you have to trust me.
00:37:32Why are you smiling at me?
00:37:34You just said
00:37:35that you love me.
00:37:36Yeah, so?
00:37:37Well, you've never
00:37:38said that before.
00:37:39Yes, I have.
00:37:39No, I would have remembered.
00:37:41Well, I'm saying it now.
00:37:42I love you.
00:37:43Do you have a problem
00:37:43with that?
00:37:44No, Mom.
00:37:45You can't kiss me now.
00:37:47I'm yelling at you.
00:37:47Well, I'm listening.
00:37:48Well, don't think
00:37:50that you can get out
00:37:51of this, you know,
00:37:51if I just...
00:37:52Oh, God.
00:37:55Oh, yeah.
00:37:55Oh, yeah.
00:37:56Right there.
00:37:57Oh, right there.
00:38:01Look, I think
00:38:02we should stop doing this.
00:38:06I know it's my idea,
00:38:07but it just doesn't
00:38:09feel right anymore.
00:38:11So you slept with Julie.
00:38:12It's no big deal.
00:38:14It is to her.
00:38:15I don't want to see
00:38:16her get hurt.
00:38:17Me either.
00:38:17So let's just not tell her.
00:38:27There's no place
00:38:28in Fairview
00:38:28that's more peaceful.
00:38:30All the floors
00:38:31are hardwood.
00:38:32Oh, there are
00:38:32brand new appliances.
00:38:34And the gardens are...
00:38:36Oh, they're beautiful.
00:38:38So, what do you think?
00:38:43I'll take it.
00:38:44Really?
00:38:45Oh, that's terrific.
00:38:46I'll draw up
00:38:47the papers in the morning.
00:38:53If you don't mind me asking,
00:38:55why are you so interested
00:38:56in this particular street?
00:38:58I've been moving around
00:38:59a lot in the last few months.
00:39:01And I need a place
00:39:02where I can really settle down.
00:39:04You know what I mean?
00:39:06I want to live in a place
00:39:07where children know
00:39:08how to behave.
00:39:09Where people still have
00:39:11some sense of moral value
00:39:13and where friendships
00:39:15are good and strong
00:39:17and last forever.
00:39:20That's what I'm looking for.
00:39:23And I think Listeria Lane
00:39:24is the place for you.
00:39:26Good.
00:39:28More than anything,
00:39:29I just want to fit in.
00:39:30Oh, you will, Alma.
00:39:34You absolutely will.
00:39:36The last two years
00:39:44are blank.
00:39:44It's a fresh approach.
00:39:46I believe you.
00:39:47Mike couldn't place
00:39:48a familiar face.
00:39:50Whoever killed her?
00:39:50The police couldn't identify
00:39:52a murder victim.
00:39:53Pulled out all her teeth.
00:39:54There's no signature.
00:39:55Gabrielle was getting
00:39:56showered with gifts.
00:39:57Why are you
00:39:57having to remain anonymous?
00:39:58From a mystery suitor.
00:39:59I'm going to open up
00:40:00a pizza parlor.
00:40:01And Lynette couldn't believe
00:40:02Oh, dear God.
00:40:03What her husband had done.
00:40:05I want to do what
00:40:05you want to do.
00:40:07Julie's first love
00:40:08was two-timing her.
00:40:10And Orson's first wife
00:40:11I'm Alma.
00:40:12Wasn't going away.
00:40:13What do you think?
00:40:14I'll take it.
00:40:15Anytime soon.
00:40:20Your average housewife
00:40:22worries constantly
00:40:23about the dangerous people
00:40:24she sees on the nightly news.
00:40:26Which is why she buys
00:40:29expensive alarm systems.
00:40:31Carries pepper spray
00:40:33in her purse.
00:40:34And keeps a gun
00:40:36in her drawer.
00:40:38So she can go about her day
00:40:40feeling safe and protected.
00:40:45Your average inmate
00:40:46worries constantly
00:40:47about the dangerous people
00:40:48he comes in contact
00:40:49with every day.
00:40:52Which is why
00:40:53he takes ordinary items.
00:40:56and turns them
00:40:57into weapons.
00:40:59That he always
00:41:00keeps handy.
00:41:02So he can go about
00:41:03his day
00:41:04feeling safe and protected.
00:41:07What is the difference
00:41:08between the housewife
00:41:09and the inmate?
00:41:11The inmate knows
00:41:13the feeling
00:41:13won't last long.
00:41:15The acü
00:41:33Delfino, right?
00:41:35Yeah.
00:41:37So?
00:41:37Come on, bro, let's go.
00:41:56Okay?
00:41:59How are you, Juan?
00:42:01Yeah.
00:42:02Yes, you do.
00:42:04Yes.
00:42:05We all need protection from those who would do us harm.
00:42:11And sometimes, from those who protect us.
00:42:22Wild parties.
00:42:25Handsome strangers.
00:42:28Tender kisses.
00:42:31Every time.
00:42:32I hear you.
00:42:33Yes, there were many things Gabrielle Solis liked about being single again.
00:42:40But coming home to an empty house was not one of them.
00:42:45Ah!
00:42:46Hi.
00:43:01You're sleeping at my place tonight.
00:43:02Really?
00:43:04What did you have in mind?
00:43:06God, I hate my life.
00:43:08Honestly, did you think I was going to sleep with you?
00:43:11It would be the polite way to thank me.
00:43:12Carlos, this isn't funny.
00:43:14I am scared to death of this maniac.
00:43:16Since when?
00:43:17Yesterday you were loving all the presents.
00:43:19The intrigue.
00:43:20The guy broke into the house.
00:43:22He went from secret admirer to stalker.
00:43:24For all I know, he's trying to kill me so no one else will have me.
00:43:26Why don't you just call the cops?
00:43:28And tell them what?
00:43:299-1-1.
00:43:30Somebody broke in the house and left a $6,000 dress.
00:43:32Okay, so if this guy shows up again, what am I supposed to do exactly?
00:43:36Nothing.
00:43:37Just having you here helps.
00:43:40No, that's very sweet.
00:43:42Because when he breaks in and starts hacking you up with his machete, your screams will wake
00:43:45me up and then I'll be able to escape.
00:43:49Glad I could help.
00:43:50Hey, stranger.
00:43:58Hey.
00:43:59You have good timing.
00:44:01I just got all the kids to sleep.
00:44:03Oh, damn.
00:44:04I wanted to tuck them in.
00:44:05Well, you could tuck me in.
00:44:09I thought I smelled your sex perfume.
00:44:12Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.
00:44:19Don't get me all rubbed up just yet.
00:44:20The printer said he was going to drop off my menu on his way home.
00:44:22He already did.
00:44:25Oh, you didn't look at that, did you?
00:44:27Because it's just a mock-up.
00:44:28Too late.
00:44:29I looked.
00:44:30And it's great.
00:44:32Really?
00:44:33Yes.
00:44:34I love the font, the color, everything.
00:44:36I am so jazzed to see the restaurant.
00:44:40It is so good to hear that.
00:44:43Oh.
00:44:46So, any idea when that might be?
00:44:50Sure.
00:44:52How about two weeks?
00:44:53Hey, you open in two weeks.
00:44:57Yeah, well, that'd be a good time for you to come by because there's free refills, balloons,
00:45:00music.
00:45:01Might there be a VIP preview for people, say, who bore your children?
00:45:08Lynette?
00:45:09Yeah.
00:45:09I don't want you to see it until it's all done.
00:45:14Why not?
00:45:15Because you will take one look at the place and then you'll have all these tips and suggestions
00:45:18that you just won't be able to keep to yourself.
00:45:21You think?
00:45:21Because I just saw a takeout menu with a six-digit phone number and I kept that to myself.
00:45:25See?
00:45:25There it is.
00:45:26That snarky, know-it-all attitude.
00:45:28What?
00:45:28I am snarky because I point out one small, glaring mistake?
00:45:32That's it.
00:45:33Now, you're banned from the opening.
00:45:35Uh, fine.
00:45:38Good night.
00:45:39So, we're not having sex?
00:45:44Hey, you banned me from your opening.
00:45:54All I'm saying is that I'd feel a lot safer on the pill.
00:45:57But if you're not 18, you need parental consent.
00:46:00Do we really need to give your mother another reason to hate me?
00:46:02She'll hate you a lot worse if you get me gay.
00:46:06Hi.
00:46:07Hi.
00:46:08Bye.
00:46:11Bye.
00:46:12Bye.
00:46:12Bye.
00:46:19Can't we just keep using condoms and be extra careful?
00:46:22Are you crazy?
00:46:23They're not dependable.
00:46:24Sure they are.
00:46:25Why do you think everybody uses them?
00:46:26They don't need the box.
00:46:27They don't have to pass inspection.
00:46:28It's too risky.
00:46:30Condoms are only 85% effective.
00:46:33Mom!
00:46:34Mom, what happened?
00:46:35Are you okay?
00:46:36Oh, I was just, uh, I lost an earring.
00:46:41Mom, you're wearing both your earrings.
00:46:45Oh, I found it.
00:46:49Austin, I would like to talk to my daughter privately.
00:46:52Sure.
00:46:52Call me later.
00:46:58Why were you two talking about condoms?
00:47:00Why were you eavesdropping?
00:47:01Don't change the subject.
00:47:03Are you two having sex?
00:47:03Because I thought that I raised you to be smarter than that.
00:47:06Don't you realize that sex is not fun and games?
00:47:09It's dangerous.
00:47:10Every time you turn around, there's a new disease.
00:47:12Do you want it to burn when you pee?
00:47:13Mom.
00:47:14Sex kills.
00:47:14Mom!
00:47:15What?
00:47:16I'm not having sex.
00:47:19Really?
00:47:20Really.
00:47:20Oh, thank God.
00:47:25If you're not having sex, why were you talking about condoms?
00:47:29Because we know two kids at school who are, and they're only using condoms, which is really
00:47:34stupid because condoms are only 85% effective.
00:47:38Yes, that's right.
00:47:40A condom alone will not protect you.
00:47:42I totally agree.
00:47:57Great!
00:47:58Alma!
00:47:59I didn't know that you knew Edie.
00:48:01I told your friends at that dinner party I was looking for a new house.
00:48:04A house?
00:48:06Yes.
00:48:06And Gabby introduced us.
00:48:09Oh, well, um, I'd want to keep you.
00:48:11I'm sure that Edie has lots of other houses to show you.
00:48:15Nope, we're done.
00:48:17Alma took one look at the Applewhite house and bam, love at first sight.
00:48:21What?
00:48:22We're going to be neighbors.
00:48:23No!
00:48:26I mean, I mean, no.
00:48:28Alma, you can't buy this house.
00:48:30Why not?
00:48:31Well, are you aware of its history?
00:48:33The previous owner was harboring a murderer.
00:48:36It was her son.
00:48:38Say what you like.
00:48:38She was a great mom.
00:48:40They had a dungeon in the basement.
00:48:42I mean, people say they still hear groans coming from the house at night.
00:48:45They're going to hear groans coming from your house if you don't sip it.
00:48:50Don't worry, Alma.
00:48:51I'm sure that, uh, Edie can find you a house that won't give you nightmares.
00:48:55It's too late, Bree.
00:48:57I've fallen in love with this neighborhood.
00:48:59And as for that haunted house stuff, well, that's just silly.
00:49:02People don't come back from the dead.
00:49:04Yeah.
00:49:04Don't I wish.
00:49:17You will not have that woman as a neighbor.
00:49:19You have got to do something.
00:49:21I said I'd talk to her.
00:49:22So what are you waiting for?
00:49:23The house is dark.
00:49:24She's not there.
00:49:25Oh, so you're just going to wait until she moves in?
00:49:27I will deal with it.
00:49:28Bree, please, calm down.
00:49:29How can I be calm?
00:49:30For months, people thought you killed your first wife.
00:49:32No sooner does she show up and clear your name than the police haul you off to ask you about
00:49:36another murder.
00:49:37They just had some questions.
00:49:38Everybody has questions.
00:49:40Susan and I aren't even speaking because of it.
00:49:41Bree, please.
00:49:42I try to hold my head up and smile and just bake more pies for the church social.
00:49:48But now your ex is camped out on our doorstep like I am hosting some kind of Mormon slumber
00:49:52party, and I do not know how I'm going to bake my way out of this one.
00:49:57Darling, I swear to you I will get Alma out of that house.
00:50:00I don't care if I have to live up to my reputation and strangle her.
00:50:06You're a good husband.
00:50:09Have you lost your mind?
00:50:10I am not getting you the pill.
00:50:13Aunt Edie, Julie and I are in love.
00:50:14Oh, please.
00:50:15It's not love you're feeling.
00:50:16It's hormones.
00:50:18That's not true.
00:50:19Okay, fine.
00:50:20If you want to express your love, you don't need to go all the way.
00:50:25Kiss, touch, rub.
00:50:28I mean, whatever happened to heavy petting?
00:50:30So underrated.
00:50:32That's your advice?
00:50:33Well, I'm sorry.
00:50:34I've never been good at getting people not to have sex.
00:50:37So you're not going to help us?
00:50:39Julie, if I do this, your mother would have my head.
00:50:44You should be talking to her.
00:50:45I can't talk to her.
00:50:46The whole idea of this completely freaks her out.
00:50:48She started screaming sex kills.
00:50:52So now it's all in my lap.
00:50:54God, she pisses me off.
00:50:57Look, how about I spring for a box of condoms?
00:51:00Will that get you two off my back?
00:51:03Condoms are only 85% effective.
00:51:05Is that true?
00:51:08Damn.
00:51:09Thought I could coast all the way to menopause.
00:51:11Look, we're going to have sex with you.
00:51:13Help us or not.
00:51:14We're just trying to be responsible.
00:51:16All right.
00:51:21But, just so you know, the responsible thing is to abstain from sex and focus on your studies.
00:51:28There.
00:51:30I said it out loud just in case anybody asks.
00:51:32Gabby, I need another pillow.
00:51:37All right, don't take the big one.
00:51:38That's my favorite.
00:51:39It's only for one night.
00:51:41Because tomorrow I'm going to be back home sleeping in my own bed.
00:51:44What?
00:51:44You can't abandon me.
00:51:46There's a madman stalking me.
00:51:48My life is on the line.
00:51:50Do you know how scared I am?
00:51:52You're keeping that?
00:51:53Hey, I'm scared, but not of the dress.
00:51:57Carlos.
00:52:19Carlos, wake up.
00:52:21I need you.
00:52:22Yeah, I thought you'd come around with me.
00:52:24What?
00:52:25Ow!
00:52:25Hey!
00:52:27He's here.
00:52:39Oh, no!
00:52:40Carlos, be careful.
00:52:41He might have a gun.
00:52:43Oh!
00:52:44I'm on arm.
00:52:44Stop kicking me.
00:52:45Oh, now you're going to give me attitude?
00:52:47Oh!
00:52:48Gabby, we got it.
00:52:49Maintain.
00:52:49This jerk has been terrorizing me.
00:52:51He broke into my house.
00:52:52It was a $6,000 dress, and my boss didn't want me leaving it on the porch.
00:52:56Your boss?
00:52:58Hey, uh, I'm sorry to wake you, sir, but there was a problem dropping off the gift.
00:53:05Yes, and she's right here with me.
00:53:08This is Gabrielle.
00:53:08Who the hell is this?
00:53:10Yes, I got your token of esteem, and I'm not impressed.
00:53:13It's because you're freaking me out.
00:53:15That's why.
00:53:17No, I don't care how much it costs.
00:53:19That's beside the point.
00:53:22Really?
00:53:22That much?
00:53:24Tell him if he doesn't stop harassing you, you're going to call the cops.
00:53:27Look, I know you're trying to be romantic, but if you keep this up, I'm going to be forced.
00:53:31What'd he say?
00:53:37That's very sweet of you, but I am not the most beautiful woman in the world.
00:53:40Tell him you're going to get a restraining order on him.
00:53:43Yes, I may be in the top ten.
00:53:45Gabby!
00:53:46Hey, I'm talking here.
00:53:49Your voice sounds so familiar.
00:53:50Do I know you?
00:53:53He says I know him, and that he wants to reintroduce himself at dinner.
00:53:57Absolutely not.
00:53:58I would not feel comfortable meeting for dinner.
00:54:02Good girl.
00:54:03How about lunch?
00:54:04Gabby!
00:54:05You have to promise to stop buying me these expensive gifts.
00:54:08Because I'm not that kind of girl.
00:54:10Well, for that many carats, yes, I could be that kind of girl.
00:54:14Um, I gotta go.
00:54:15I'll talk to you tomorrow.
00:54:18Oh, how about that?
00:54:20And here I was thinking some guy wants to murder me in my sleep.
00:54:23Night's still young.
00:54:28How are those ribs?
00:54:36Oh, just eating some tape.
00:54:39Man, those guys were hardcore.
00:54:41You really saved my ass.
00:54:42Don't mention it.
00:54:44No.
00:54:45Seriously.
00:54:46If I have anything I can do for you, you just say the word.
00:54:50I'll keep that in mind.
00:54:52Hey, Delfino!
00:54:53Hey, boss.
00:54:58You might want to find yourself another prom date.
00:55:01Guy's not your friend.
00:55:03How do you know that?
00:55:04After those mutts knocked you around the other day, your boy paid him off.
00:55:09You sure?
00:55:10I saw money change hands.
00:55:13Sweat your back.
00:55:13So, I was in the middle of totally freaking out when Julie assured me that she's not having sex.
00:55:26Can't tell you how relieved I was.
00:55:29Uh-huh.
00:55:30Don't say uh-huh like that.
00:55:32Julie wouldn't lie to me.
00:55:33If she says she's not having sex, then she's not having sex.
00:55:37Okay.
00:55:38You can't say okay like that either.
00:55:40Julie's not like other girls.
00:55:42She's a straight-A student.
00:55:43And you were valedictorian.
00:55:45What were you up to that your mother didn't know about?
00:55:50Okay, you search the closet.
00:55:51I'm gonna look under the bed.
00:55:52Wait, wait, wait.
00:55:53First rule of ransacking.
00:55:55Remember where everything goes.
00:55:58You are gonna make a really good mother someday.
00:56:01So, what does this diary look like?
00:56:04Uh, it's small.
00:56:05It's got a plaid cover.
00:56:06Oh, and when you find it, you have to read it.
00:56:08Because I promised her that I would always respect her privacy.
00:56:10Now, help me flip this mattress.
00:56:12Oh, my God.
00:56:13You found it?
00:56:14This is adorable.
00:56:16You think maybe I could-
00:56:17No, you cannot borrow it.
00:56:19Oh, fine.
00:56:21Why does Julie have a VCR?
00:56:24To watch movies.
00:56:25Please, kids don't watch videos anymore.
00:56:27Everything's digital.
00:56:28See?
00:56:30It's just a tape.
00:56:40Is it?
00:56:41But, it's just a tape recorder.
00:56:54It's just a tape recorder.
00:56:55Alma, what do you think you're doing?
00:57:01Measuring for drapes.
00:57:03I'm thinking Damask.
00:57:05You know what I mean.
00:57:08Why have you moved here?
00:57:10It's a very nice street.
00:57:12And I've made friends here.
00:57:15People have taken such an interest in me.
00:57:18They thought you were dead.
00:57:20The novelty of your not being a corpse can't last forever.
00:57:24What are you after?
00:57:25Are you still punishing me?
00:57:27You want me to pay you to leave? What?
00:57:30I want what I've always wanted.
00:57:33You.
00:57:36I'm married.
00:57:38And even if I weren't, I don't love you.
00:57:42You didn't love the old Alma.
00:57:44I'm not that woman anymore.
00:57:46I'm stronger, more confident.
00:57:48It may take you a while to see that, but I can wait.
00:57:52Alma, I love Brie.
00:57:54But does she love you?
00:57:57Oh, she may love the worse than she knows.
00:57:59But does she know what you did to Monique?
00:58:04Does she know you ran over Mike Delfina?
00:58:08I know all that.
00:58:11I still love you.
00:58:13Would she?
00:58:14Do I see you've spoken to Mother?
00:58:29Yes.
00:58:29It's nice to have someone on my side in all of this.
00:58:32Don't worry.
00:58:35I won't tell Brie.
00:58:37She might go to the police.
00:58:39You're no good to me in jail.
00:58:43But if I thought I had no chance with you,
00:58:46no chance at all,
00:58:48well, it'd be nothing to stop me from telling.
00:58:53Please, Ursula.
00:58:54Don't take away my help.
00:59:11She's not going.
00:59:13Why not?
00:59:14And what the hell was that on the porch?
00:59:17She kissed me goodbye.
00:59:19What was I supposed to do?
00:59:19Slug her?
00:59:20You went over there to read her the riot act.
00:59:22Instead, it looked like you were reading her a bedtime story.
00:59:24Brie, I told her we don't want her here.
00:59:27I threatened.
00:59:28I shouted.
00:59:29She refuses to go.
00:59:31We're just going to have to make the best of it.
00:59:40Hello.
00:59:42Hey, it's me.
00:59:43You want to meet for lunch?
00:59:45No, honey.
00:59:45I got to drive to Greendale to pick out napkins.
00:59:48Remember?
00:59:49I told you.
00:59:50Oh, yeah, that's right.
00:59:52So I'll, um, I'll see you tonight.
00:59:54Okay.
00:59:55Good.
00:59:56I'll see you.
00:59:56Okay.
00:59:56Good.
00:59:56I'll see you.
00:59:57Good.
00:59:57Good.
01:00:22Oh. My. God.
01:00:29Hey, Mrs. Scavo.
01:00:31Andrew, hi. I thought you weren't starting until the opening.
01:00:35Oh, yeah, there's just so much work that needs to be done. Mr. Scavo asked me to start early.
01:00:39Oh.
01:00:40He's not here, by the way.
01:00:42Yeah, I know. And hey, don't tell him I stopped by. I'm not supposed to be here. I just want to sneak a peek.
01:00:48Okay. Shouldn't you be working?
01:00:54Shouldn't you not be here?
01:00:56Touche.
01:00:58So, uh, how do you like the place?
01:01:01I think it's fantastic. It's really coming together. Ooh, I love the bar.
01:01:07Oh, yeah, it's, uh, it's pretty cool. It's too bad we can't get a liquor license.
01:01:11What?
01:01:12Oh, uh, didn't Mr. Scavo tell you?
01:01:15No, he didn't.
01:01:18Don't, um, restaurants make half their money on the liquor?
01:01:22Oh, yeah. We're completely screwed.
01:01:25This is a nightmare.
01:01:27How did this happen?
01:01:29Uh, the, uh, city rezoned and said he had to get all the residents within a block to sign a waiver.
01:01:34There are some holdouts. He's kind of bumming.
01:01:36Well, then why isn't he dealing with it instead of shopping for napkins?
01:01:43We could lose our shirts in this dump.
01:01:45Is this Dr. Marvin Tashman?
01:01:50Hi. My name is Susan Meyer.
01:01:52Um, my daughter Julie came in to see you.
01:01:55Yes, about birth control.
01:01:57So, I'm just curious.
01:01:59Where do you get off prescribing that without my consent?
01:02:02What? No, I most certainly was not there.
01:02:07What do I look like?
01:02:09I don't have blonde hair.
01:02:16Wait.
01:02:17Did my blonde hair have dark roots?
01:02:19Oh, I forgot to give you the keys to the shed.
01:02:24You got my daughter the pill?
01:02:29Here, catch.
01:02:34Don't you walk away from me.
01:02:37Do we have to do this now?
01:02:38Yes, we do.
01:02:40You might have gotten your first diaphragm with milk money,
01:02:42but that doesn't give you the right to corrupt my daughter.
01:02:44Look, it's not like I went out to Julie and said,
01:02:46Hey, do you want to go out for a burger and some birth control?
01:02:49She came to me.
01:02:50You do not get to decide this for her.
01:02:52What were you thinking?
01:02:53Ah!
01:02:54I was thinking, if Julie got knocked up,
01:02:56that you and I could become family.
01:02:58And I'm sorry, I cannot take that chance.
01:03:00Oh, you know what?
01:03:01It wasn't until your rotten nephew came to town
01:03:03that Julie was a perfect kid.
01:03:04And now she's lying and scheming and having casual sex.
01:03:08She's just a boob job away from being you.
01:03:10Look, Meyer.
01:03:11Julie has discovered sex.
01:03:13The genie is out of the bottle.
01:03:15You better get good with it or you could lose her forever.
01:03:17Because like it or not, she loves him.
01:03:20And you know what else?
01:03:22He loves her.
01:03:36Your gentleman friend went to make a call.
01:03:38He'll be with you shortly.
01:03:40Oh, God.
01:03:43Gabrielle.
01:04:01Gabrielle.
01:04:04Zach Young.
01:04:06Oh, my God.
01:04:07It's been ages.
01:04:08Wow.
01:04:10Look at you.
01:04:11So handsome in a suit.
01:04:13Yeah, beautiful.
01:04:15Aren't you sweet?
01:04:18Well, anyway, I'd love to catch up,
01:04:20but I'm kind of waiting for someone.
01:04:23Yes, I know.
01:04:29So the dress fits.
01:04:30Cool.
01:04:30Cool.
01:04:30Cool.
01:04:30Cool.
01:04:30Cool.
01:04:31Cool.
01:04:31Cool.
01:04:31Cool.
01:04:31Cool.
01:04:31Cool.
01:04:31Cool.
01:04:31Cool.
01:04:32Cool.
01:04:32Cool.
01:04:32Cool.
01:04:33Cool.
01:04:33Cool.
01:04:33Cool.
01:04:33Cool.
01:04:34Cool.
01:04:34Cool.
01:04:35Cool.
01:04:35Cool.
01:04:35Cool.
01:04:36Cool.
01:04:36Cool.
01:04:37Cool.
01:04:37Cool.
01:04:38Cool.
01:04:39Cool.
01:04:40Like a bottle of your 1982 Chateau Lafitte Westchild, please.
01:04:43I'm sorry.
01:04:44How old are you?
01:04:45Oh, uh, only, say, a hundred.
01:04:51So you are.
01:04:52Wow.
01:04:53Someone got an advance on their allowance.
01:04:57I was my grandfather's sole heir.
01:04:59I'm actually in the Fortune 400.
01:05:01Does that, does that seem weird to you?
01:05:04I'm on a date with Zach Young.
01:05:06Nothing's ever going to seem weird again.
01:05:10Every cent we have is circling the bowl, and Tom never said a word.
01:05:13Why didn't he come to me?
01:05:15Well, clearly he's embarrassed.
01:05:16But I'm his wife.
01:05:17Don't be dense, Lynette.
01:05:19Half the reason men want to accomplish anything is so they can show off for the women they love.
01:05:23And when they fail, they like to keep it to themselves.
01:05:25I'm going to tell him.
01:05:26I'm going to tell him I went to the restaurant, and that I know he screwed up, and that I'm going to fix it.
01:05:32Oh, for God's sake, it's bad enough you cut off his cojones.
01:05:35Now you want to juggle them?
01:05:36My husband is in trouble.
01:05:38I love him.
01:05:39Shouldn't I want to help him?
01:05:40Well, if you really love him, you should help him without letting him know that you did.
01:05:44Yeah, so, in addition to my penthouse, I also have a chateau in Switzerland, and a cottage in the Hamptons.
01:05:55It's pretty impressive, huh?
01:05:57Got a little chocolate on your shirt.
01:05:59Hmm?
01:06:00Damn it!
01:06:01Here, let me get it.
01:06:02No, I can do it. I can do it. I'd like to do it myself. Thank you very much.
01:06:07I'm sorry. You know, I'll be neater for you next time.
01:06:10Next time?
01:06:11Honey, let's get real. You were way too young for me.
01:06:15I'm two months older than John Rowland.
01:06:19Well, John Rowland was a mistake. I was lonely.
01:06:24You're not lonely now?
01:06:27You've heard about my divorce?
01:06:29Yeah, you were really smart to get rid of Carlos.
01:06:31You deserve much better.
01:06:33Let me guess, now you are my upgrade?
01:06:36Well, everybody knows you need someone to take care of you, and...
01:06:40I'm rich now. I can give you anything you want.
01:06:43Wait a minute. Who says I need someone to take care of me?
01:06:47My mom.
01:06:48Our friends from the neighborhood.
01:06:50They said it was the only reason you stayed with Carlos, considering how he treated you.
01:06:57Well, they were wrong.
01:06:59Thank you for lunch, Zach.
01:07:00Wait, Gabriel.
01:07:01I'm not that awkward kid that I was before.
01:07:06Can you please just... please take me seriously?
01:07:10I'm sorry. I just can't.
01:07:12I'm not gonna give up.
01:07:15Sweetie.
01:07:17I really wish you would.
01:07:18For God's sake, Zach. Don't hijack a Ferrari if you don't know how to drive.
01:07:36Mr. Gond. Hi. I'm Lynette Scavo. My husband is opening the pizzeria right down the block.
01:07:40If it's about that liquor license, I'm not signing.
01:07:44Please. I've been at this for hours. Just hear me out.
01:07:47Well, I never could resist a pretty lady.
01:07:50Oh.
01:07:51Come on in.
01:07:54Did you live in Las Vegas?
01:07:56I was a croupier for 40 years.
01:07:58As you can see, I had a weakness for showgirls.
01:08:01I bet you were quite the player.
01:08:03You have no idea.
01:08:05Can I top you off there?
01:08:07No, thanks. Two's my limit.
01:08:09Well, suit yourself.
01:08:11Look, I understand your concerns about the license. Your neighbors had them too.
01:08:17But they signed a waiver once I explained to them that this is a family restaurant.
01:08:23No late nights. No loud music.
01:08:25If there's one thing I learned in Vegas, it's that booze turns most people into noisy jackasses.
01:08:29And I don't want them puking on my doorstep.
01:08:33Come on, Harry. You are my last holdout.
01:08:36What's it gonna take? Cash? A free pizza for the rest of your life? You name it.
01:08:41Look, I hate to disappoint a pretty lady, but I'm not signing.
01:08:47Harry.
01:08:49My husband quit his job to start this restaurant.
01:08:53And if we can't sell liquor, we can't make a profit.
01:08:55And whoa, whoa, whoa, Harry. Eyes up here.
01:08:58Oh, sorry. Sorry.
01:09:01This place is his dream. And if he can't make it work, then it's just gonna kill him.
01:09:08And consequently, it's gonna kill our marriage. And Harry, Harry, what did I say?
01:09:12I know. I don't mean to be rude. It's just that my showgirl days were a while ago, and I can't remember the last time I laid eyes on a beautiful woman's bosom.
01:09:22Really? Well, what if I were to, very briefly, refresh your memory?
01:09:36Completely worth it.
01:09:37Glad you thought so.
01:09:38Mmm.
01:09:39Come on, baby. Say it one more time for mommy.
01:09:42So you can teach him to say whatever you want?
01:09:43Oh, yes. These birds are very bright. I think they're smarter than people. Some people, anyway.
01:09:57Bree! Come in, I just made some lemonade.
01:09:58This isn't a social call. We need to talk.
01:09:59We need to talk.
01:10:00Okay.
01:10:01Come on, baby.
01:10:02Come on, baby. Say it one more time for mommy.
01:10:03Come on, baby. Say it one more time for mommy.
01:10:04So you can teach him to say whatever you want?
01:10:05Oh, yes. These birds are very bright. I think they're smarter than people.
01:10:07Some people, anyway.
01:10:10Bree! Come in, I just made some lemonade.
01:10:15This isn't a social call. We need to talk.
01:10:27About what?
01:10:28About what it's going to take to get you to sell this house and move.
01:10:32Move? Why?
01:10:34You're my husband's ex-wife. You disappeared so people would think he killed you. Does my discomfort really need any further explanation?
01:10:41I had no idea you felt this way.
01:10:44Oh, please. Orson made it perfectly clear we don't want you here.
01:10:49Okay. Now I'm really confused. When Orson came by, all he said was, welcome to the street and did I need help unpacking?
01:10:59That's not true.
01:11:02You know what? I think I've said too much. How about that lemonade?
01:11:09Ma'am, where would you like this?
01:11:12Oh, uh, upstairs. I'll show you.
01:11:15Here. Drink this. You'll look a little pale. Right now.
01:11:19Don't tell Bree. Don't tell Bree. Don't tell Bree.
01:11:26Don't tell Bree.
01:11:28Don't tell Bree.
01:11:30Oh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh
01:12:00Are you all right?
01:12:22I'm so sorry.
01:12:23I broke a glass.
01:12:25Don't worry.
01:12:26I'll get it.
01:12:27Okay.
01:12:28I have to go.
01:12:30Oh, Bree, wait.
01:12:34I understand why you might feel a little threatened about my moving in here.
01:12:40But in time, you'll see I'm perfectly harmless.
01:12:43So, how was the mystery date?
01:13:01It was fabulous.
01:13:03Thanks for asking.
01:13:04Oh, come on.
01:13:05I want details.
01:13:06Who is he?
01:13:07Some global financier.
01:13:09Saw me on the cover of Paris Match.
01:13:11Good looking.
01:13:12Just not my type.
01:13:13Really?
01:13:15Because I always thought that you and Zach would make a really great couple.
01:13:17You son of a bitch.
01:13:20You were there.
01:13:21Barked across the street laughing my ass off.
01:13:23I can't believe you followed me.
01:13:25I thought you were meeting a psycho killer for lunch.
01:13:28I was worried.
01:13:30At least until they brought out the crayons and children's menus.
01:13:34All right.
01:13:35Off my porch.
01:13:35Okay, but don't forget, you asked me to watch your back.
01:13:39Yeah, about that.
01:13:41I'm installing an alarm system tomorrow, so I'm not going to need you to look after me anymore.
01:13:48Gabby, I don't mind.
01:13:50I mind.
01:13:51We're divorced.
01:13:52I can't keep running to you every time I get scared.
01:13:54I want to be the kind of woman who can take care of herself.
01:13:56Well, good for you.
01:14:06I'm still right down the block.
01:14:09So if you do need me...
01:14:11I won't.
01:14:13But thank you.
01:14:22Hey.
01:14:23Hey.
01:14:25You're home early.
01:14:26Celebrating.
01:14:27Got our liquor license today.
01:14:30Really?
01:14:30That's great.
01:14:31Yeah, I understand.
01:14:32He went all over the neighborhood getting signatures.
01:14:34Good for him.
01:14:36But I think he's lying.
01:14:39I think somebody else got the signatures.
01:14:41Okay.
01:14:42Let's say, just for the sake of argument, that someone else did.
01:14:46Someone who clearly loves you very much.
01:14:48What's wrong with that?
01:14:49Nothing.
01:14:50Nothing.
01:14:50The order has been restored in the universe.
01:14:52You save the day.
01:14:53I'm a loser.
01:14:55Oh, come on, Tom.
01:14:57I tried for two months to get that waiver signed.
01:14:59You did it in a day.
01:15:01Like I said.
01:15:02You can't drown in self-pity just because I helped you with one tiny little thing.
01:15:07Okay, but if I tell you that the plumbing's not up to code, that we have termites and that
01:15:11the chairs won't be there until after we open, can I drown in self-pity then?
01:15:15Why haven't you told me about all of this?
01:15:18Because I wanted to accomplish something on my own.
01:15:20I'm the man.
01:15:21I shouldn't have to run to my wife to bail me out.
01:15:24Ow.
01:15:24Gambling with our life savings and not asking for help doesn't make you a man.
01:15:30It makes you an idiot.
01:15:32Come on, Tom.
01:15:33For God's sakes, we are a team.
01:15:35And that restaurant is a huge undertaking.
01:15:37No one could do it alone.
01:15:38You don't ask me for help with your ad campaigns.
01:15:40Ow.
01:15:41I don't have to.
01:15:42You're always giving it to me.
01:15:45Inspiring me.
01:15:46Remember the mouthwash jingle?
01:15:47You came up with the hook.
01:15:49And what about the Bartlett campaign?
01:15:51Would I have ever come up with tango dancing fleas?
01:15:53All you.
01:15:54There's nothing that I've accomplished that I could have done without your help.
01:15:58Okay, fine.
01:15:59I help.
01:15:59We're a team.
01:16:00Just don't hit me again.
01:16:02So tomorrow, first thing, we'll fix the plumbing, we'll call an exterminator, we'll rent some chairs,
01:16:08and we will open on time, and it'll be a glorious success that you will have achieved with my help.
01:16:14Okay?
01:16:16Okay.
01:16:19And tonight, I'm going to slap on some sex perfume, and you're going to get naked.
01:16:23And then we're going to see who the man is.
01:16:27God, I hope it's me.
01:16:28Oh, I'm sure it will be.
01:16:29Hey, Mom.
01:16:38What are you doing out here?
01:16:42Oh.
01:16:45Okay, here's the thing.
01:16:46Don't worry.
01:16:47I'm not going to get mad.
01:16:48Just sit down.
01:16:49You know what upset me the most?
01:17:00That you didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth.
01:17:03I tried to.
01:17:04You freaked out.
01:17:05Well, of course I freaked out.
01:17:07I'm a parent.
01:17:08You know, we hope that our children will wait to have sex till after we're dead.
01:17:15And you wonder why I went to Edie.
01:17:16Okay.
01:17:17That's the other thing.
01:17:17That cannot happen anymore.
01:17:20You and I have always had an amazing relationship.
01:17:25Let's not mess it up now.
01:17:26Look, I know you think I'm too young, but Austin and I are in love.
01:17:42Yeah.
01:17:45About that.
01:17:53God, I wish there was a pill you could take to protect your heart.
01:17:57What do you mean?
01:18:01Honey, I was over at Edie's today and I walked in the door.
01:18:08Uh, yes, I need to speak to my husband.
01:18:12Yes, there is.
01:18:14Would you please ask him to come home as early as possible tonight?
01:18:24It's a dangerous world.
01:18:26So we all look for protection.
01:18:33And whether we find it in the arms of our mother.
01:18:36We do what we have to do to feel safe.
01:18:45Because we know somewhere in the world.
01:18:48There are those who would do us harm.
01:18:51We do what we have to do to feel safe.
01:18:52We do what we have to do to feel safe.
01:18:53We do what we have to do to feel safe.
01:18:59Because we know somewhere in the world.
01:19:02Because we know somewhere in the world there are those who would do us harm.