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  • 6/20/2025
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Transcript
00:00:01Previously on Desperate Housewives...
00:00:03Maybe you haven't noticed, but I'm in love with you.
00:00:05Victor caught Gabby by surprise.
00:00:07Why would a four-star chef want a slum at a pizza joint?
00:00:10Lynette took a gamble.
00:00:11He has a history of using cocaine.
00:00:13No, no way.
00:00:14Well, he's been clean for almost a year.
00:00:15Mike bet on love.
00:00:17Why when you leave me and Susan alone?
00:00:19And lost.
00:00:20Don't pack.
00:00:21But still came to Susan's rescue.
00:00:23You okay?
00:00:24Yeah.
00:00:25And Mrs. McCluskey revealed her secret for a lasting relationship.
00:00:32It was late on a Tuesday night when the power went out all over Fairview.
00:00:38For most of the residents, it was a minor inconvenience.
00:00:43But for those with secrets, the darkness proved quite useful indeed.
00:00:50Millie Russell was able to indulge in another night of midnight binging.
00:00:54Timmy Cooper was able to sneak another peek at his father's adult magazines.
00:01:01Marilyn Quinn was able to steal a few more puffs of her forbidden tobacco.
00:01:07But these secrets paled compared to the one a certain old woman was hiding in her basement.
00:01:15Sit tight, Ida.
00:01:16I got batteries here.
00:01:18I keep them in the freezer for just such an emergency.
00:01:21I'll run them over to you.
00:01:23By the way, you wouldn't happen to have any extra ice laying around, would you?
00:01:27No.
00:01:28I've just got some stuff in my freezer I don't want thawing out any time soon.
00:01:33Yes.
00:01:34As a rule, darkness helps us keep our secrets safely hidden.
00:01:39Oh crap!
00:01:40You're a creep!
00:01:41But every rule...
00:01:42Karen, what happened?
00:01:43Are you okay?
00:01:44...has its exceptions.
00:01:45But every rule...
00:01:46Karen, what happened?
00:01:47Are you okay?
00:01:48Karen, what happened?
00:01:49Are you okay?
00:01:50...has its exceptions.
00:01:51What happened? Are you okay?
00:01:53Has its exceptions.
00:02:21When the lights went out on Wisteria Lane, Karen McCloskey wasn't the only resident left
00:02:42in the dark. Everyone else felt the pain of going without power as well.
00:02:47Ow, damn thumbtack.
00:02:52Susan, please let me help.
00:02:53No, I got it. Ah, wait. Here we go.
00:03:01But it's hardly a long-term solution.
00:03:03Well, at least it'll keep me from stabbing myself while I look.
00:03:06Well, this is silly. Why don't we just borrow a flashlight from Mike?
00:03:11Mike?
00:03:11He's a plumber. He's bound to have a spare.
00:03:14Sure, but we can't keep leaning on him for everything.
00:03:18Mike, we're drowning. Save us. Mike, it's dark. Give us a flashlight. Let's go ask Gabby.
00:03:21Actually, I just wanted to talk to him anyway. I thought we might ask him over for dinner.
00:03:25Dinner?
00:03:26Ow!
00:03:27You know, as a thank you gesture.
00:03:29Well, Ian, you've tasted my cooking. It's not a thank you. It's revenge.
00:03:33Well, then I'll cook.
00:03:35You know, you told me I should put my jealousy behind me.
00:03:37I think breaking bread together would be a great start.
00:03:39Well, let's not bother him tonight.
00:03:41You know, I don't really even need a flashlight.
00:03:43My eyes have totally adjusted to dark.
00:03:47What was that?
00:03:49Don't walk in the kitchen.
00:03:51Anyway, where is your sense of romance?
00:03:55You have a blackout. You have a defenseless lady.
00:03:58You getting any ideas?
00:04:00Well, I'm starting to, yes.
00:04:03It's funny.
00:04:04All that time I wasted worrying Mike would come between us.
00:04:07It seems I'd laugh upon him, doesn't it?
00:04:13Kiss me.
00:04:18Hey, Carlos. We had a blackout.
00:04:21You need a flashlight?
00:04:24Carlos, you okay?
00:04:28Oh, uh, sorry, man. I thought I heard a thud.
00:04:32I just, uh, bumped into a chair.
00:04:34I didn't think that you were coming home till tomorrow.
00:04:40No, uh, fish weren't biting.
00:04:42So, uh,
00:04:44you got a girl in here?
00:04:46No. Why?
00:04:47Oh, because when I came home,
00:04:49I thought I heard sex noises.
00:04:51That was just me.
00:04:56Okay.
00:04:57Night.
00:05:00God, that was close.
00:05:01All that's sneaking around is ridiculous.
00:05:06Mike and I dated for five minutes.
00:05:09He's not gonna care.
00:05:11What if Travers finds out?
00:05:13Look, I don't want him to be confused,
00:05:14and until we figure out where this is going,
00:05:16I just think we should keep things on the down low.
00:05:20Hey, I didn't say we had to stop.
00:05:22I just said we had to be quiet.
00:05:23What?
00:05:23I suppose we should tiptoe around like schoolchildren
00:05:26so our parents don't catch us doing it?
00:05:28I feel like I'm 12 again.
00:05:29I'm just saying, I don't think that the whole world
00:05:31needs to know our 12?
00:05:34Okay, look.
00:05:36I will find us another place to rendezvous.
00:05:39But I'm not gonna skulk around forever.
00:05:42And no one's asking you to.
00:05:44I respect you too much for that.
00:05:49Um.
00:05:52If you don't mind.
00:05:53Oh, for God's sake.
00:05:54I'm gonna be right there.
00:06:09There you go.
00:06:10Oh, so can you still cook with a power round?
00:06:13Oh, of course.
00:06:15Absolutely.
00:06:16Please, please tell me we can still make pizza.
00:06:18No dice.
00:06:19Some genius installed pizza ovens with electric starters.
00:06:21Oh, this is awful.
00:06:23On a good night, we barely break even.
00:06:25Tonight is gonna kill the whole week.
00:06:29Not necessarily.
00:06:31The stove top's gas.
00:06:32I bought pasta for the staff dinner.
00:06:34You give me 10 minutes,
00:06:35I will whip up a spaghetti carbonata
00:06:36that'll knock their socks off.
00:06:38Oh, my God.
00:06:43You are a lifesaver.
00:06:45And, uh, since it's not on the menu,
00:06:47you can charge whatever you want.
00:06:48Say, 20 bucks.
00:06:50For pasta?
00:06:51Are you crazy?
00:06:52Won't hurt to ask.
00:06:53Oh, I don't want to scare them away.
00:06:55Okay.
00:06:55Okay.
00:06:59So, good news.
00:07:01Our chef is preparing his special spaghetti carbonara.
00:07:03Ooh, yummy.
00:07:04And we're offering that for $12.
00:07:06Great.
00:07:08For the appetizer portion,
00:07:09the entree is 20.
00:07:11Fine.
00:07:11Two.
00:07:12Twenty-two.
00:07:14Okay.
00:07:20Shouldn't there be an emergency light?
00:07:22Sometimes in these elevators,
00:07:24there's a...
00:07:25Ta-da!
00:07:25Well, aren't you clever?
00:07:27I'll just call hotel security
00:07:28and let them know we're in.
00:07:29No, wait.
00:07:30This is the first time
00:07:31I've had you to myself all night.
00:07:33I'm sorry.
00:07:34It's those fundraisers.
00:07:35Everybody wants a piece of the candidate.
00:07:37What are you doing?
00:07:39Taking my piece.
00:07:41Are you insane?
00:07:42We're in an elevator.
00:07:43Exactly.
00:07:44Going down.
00:07:45No, I got it.
00:07:46Come on, cut it out.
00:07:47The power could come on at any moment.
00:07:50I know.
00:07:51That's what makes it so exciting.
00:07:53The risk.
00:07:54But, uh,
00:07:54I'm kind of running for mayor here.
00:07:56Remember.
00:07:57It's an elevator, silly.
00:07:58It has an emergency stop.
00:07:59I don't know.
00:07:59I don't know.
00:07:59I don't know.
00:08:01I don't know.
00:08:02I don't know.
00:08:11Oh, my God.
00:08:12It's amazing.
00:08:13What are you doing?
00:08:14It's my phone.
00:08:14It's not vibrating.
00:08:17Oh, man.
00:08:19I was just starting to get into it.
00:08:20Less talking.
00:08:21More dressing.
00:08:21You two okay?
00:08:29Yeah, fine.
00:08:30Thanks.
00:08:33Must have gotten pretty hot in there.
00:08:36You have no idea.
00:08:47Karen, don't worry about a thing.
00:08:49I'll collect your mail till you get back.
00:08:50Well, how long is this blackout supposed to last?
00:08:53Well, they say it may last for days.
00:08:55Days?
00:08:57Hey, Blondie, come here.
00:08:58Come here.
00:08:59Hey, listen.
00:09:00I don't really need to go to the hospital.
00:09:01I'm fine.
00:09:02You fractured a ribbon.
00:09:03You might have a concussion.
00:09:04You need looking after.
00:09:05Now, some of the stuff in my freezer might melt.
00:09:07How about I just run out and get some ice
00:09:08and then meet you at the hospital?
00:09:10Ma'am, you can replace groceries.
00:09:12You don't understand.
00:09:13Some of my groceries, they have sentimental value.
00:09:16Sorry.
00:09:17Ma'am, I don't need to ask your permission.
00:09:18Ma'am, no.
00:09:19Get your hands off me, you...
00:09:20Piggy!
00:09:22Oh!
00:09:23Get the restraints.
00:09:24I'm going to sue your ass!
00:09:36Well, what are we waiting for?
00:09:37Get me to the hospital.
00:09:38I'm not a well woman.
00:09:42What was that all about?
00:09:44Your friend's afraid the stuff in her freezer is going to spoil.
00:09:46Oh, well, thank God the power's back on.
00:09:49Now she won't have to worry.
00:09:51I made you waffles.
00:09:53Eat them while they're hot.
00:09:56I made you waffles.
00:09:59Eat them while they're hot.
00:10:20What?
00:10:20Will you marry me?
00:10:23They're just toaster waffles.
00:10:26Ah, that was just the pre-proposal, actually.
00:10:30The real one will be much more romantic with a big diamond the size of a doorknob.
00:10:33But just so you're prepared, I do want to marry you.
00:10:36Well, just so you're prepared, consider this my pre-refusal.
00:10:39Come on, what's wrong?
00:10:40You're wearing my shirts, you burn my breakfast, you're here every night.
00:10:42It's like we're married already.
00:10:44We're having a good time.
00:10:45Why risk ruining it?
00:10:47See, what happened to the thrill seeker that seduced me in the elevator?
00:10:50She wouldn't be afraid of taking a little risk.
00:10:52Oh, you don't want to marry her?
00:10:53She's a tramp.
00:10:54Hold up for a good girl.
00:10:55No, no, no.
00:10:55I've found what I'm looking for.
00:10:58Come on, what gives?
00:11:02Look, Victor, getting divorced really kicked my ass.
00:11:07I'm sorry, just the next time I get married, I've got to be sure.
00:11:11Okay, I get it.
00:11:15Just wish there was a way I could prove how much I love and adore you.
00:11:18Well, if you could choke down that lousy waffle I made you, that'd be a start.
00:11:40Oh, there's Mike.
00:11:41Should we see if he's free Friday night?
00:11:44Yeah.
00:11:45Yeah, why not?
00:11:47Sure.
00:11:48You know what?
00:11:48Do you want to run this ice cream inside before it melts?
00:11:50Look, Ian is going to come invite you to dinner Friday, and you are not, I repeat, not going to accept.
00:12:06Why is Ian inviting me to dinner?
00:12:08He wants to thank you for saving us, and he wants to show that he's not jealous of you.
00:12:12How's that for irony?
00:12:13I didn't plan to kiss you, but you didn't exactly resist.
00:12:16I was in shock.
00:12:18Why were you so upset when you mentioned Ian?
00:12:21Because we just had a fight.
00:12:24About you.
00:12:25Really?
00:12:27You talk about me a lot.
00:12:28Mike, I'm marrying Ian.
00:12:30We've hired a caterer.
00:12:31We are going with the salmon, so just back off.
00:12:34Hey, Ian.
00:12:35Hi, Ian.
00:12:37I just asked Mike.
00:12:38He can't make it.
00:12:39Yeah, I'm sorry.
00:12:40I've got plans for tonight.
00:12:42Oh, but didn't we say Friday?
00:12:43Friday, oh, Friday, I'm wide open.
00:12:47Splendid.
00:12:48Shall we say 7.30?
00:12:50It's a date.
00:12:51Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:13:02Eden!
00:13:03What's up, Steve?
00:13:04Listen, I'm late for my Hadassah meeting.
00:13:06Here's the key.
00:13:07Take your time.
00:13:08Oh, and don't be shy.
00:13:09Check out those closets.
00:13:11They're very spacious.
00:13:12Oh.
00:13:14Eden, what are we doing here?
00:13:16Checking out a house.
00:13:18I told you I'm not looking to buy right now.
00:13:20Who's talking about buying anything?
00:13:22I am giving it away.
00:13:25Eden, we cannot have sex in here.
00:13:28It's someone else's bed.
00:13:29This is wrong.
00:13:30We can't use my place.
00:13:31We can't use yours.
00:13:33I'll be damned if I am going to pay for a hotel room
00:13:35when there are all these empty houses all over town
00:13:37that I have the keys to.
00:13:41Though reluctant at first,
00:13:43Carlos soon saw the wisdom in Edie's plan.
00:13:47Secret affairs are a lot like real estate.
00:13:50The three keys to success are
00:13:52location, location, location.
00:13:57Get careful.
00:14:02I can't sit down that fast.
00:14:03Sorry, I'm sorry.
00:14:04But it's going to be worth it.
00:14:06Okay, so tell Tom the secret of your risotto.
00:14:09Well, I saute spinach and onions and white wine.
00:14:12No, no.
00:14:12The profit margin.
00:14:15Basically, it costs a dollar to make.
00:14:16And we charge 20.
00:14:17So four people who would have shared a $15 pizza
00:14:20are now spending 80 bucks.
00:14:21Okay, kids.
00:14:26Dig in.
00:14:27There's just one little problem with that, Lynette.
00:14:29Yeah.
00:14:29Those families you're talking about have kids.
00:14:32And there's no kids going to eat anything with spinach in it.
00:14:35Um, Tom?
00:14:36It's delicious, huh?
00:14:44Mm-hmm.
00:14:44Oh, yeah.
00:14:45Yeah?
00:14:46Rick learned how to make this in Italy.
00:14:48Go ahead.
00:14:49Try it.
00:14:50Want to see what you think?
00:14:59Hmm.
00:15:02It's good.
00:15:03It's awesome.
00:15:04It's good.
00:15:06But?
00:15:09But it's just not us.
00:15:11Us?
00:15:12What is us?
00:15:13Look, we're a neighborhood pizza place.
00:15:15We serve pizza.
00:15:16I like this better.
00:15:17I'm getting bored of pizza.
00:15:19Porter, the adults are talking.
00:15:21Look, we serve good food at good prices.
00:15:24We're not looking to be the next, you know, trendy flash in the pan.
00:15:26That's not what I'm looking for either.
00:15:29See, my food, it's not trendy.
00:15:30It's classic.
00:15:31Rick.
00:15:33Obviously, you're a great cook.
00:15:34And when you have your own place, I will definitely eat there.
00:15:37But I see no reason to change my menu.
00:15:44More, please.
00:15:45Hi.
00:16:00Can I help you?
00:16:03Uh, yeah.
00:16:04I'm here to see Mr. Lang.
00:16:05He's not here.
00:16:06Is that for him?
00:16:07Yeah, but it's very personal.
00:16:12Okay.
00:16:13I don't think I should leave it with the maid.
00:16:15Do I look like the maid?
00:16:17Give me that.
00:16:17You blackmailer!
00:16:27Oh, man, you weren't supposed to look!
00:16:39Blackmail her!
00:16:41Oh, man, you weren't supposed to look!
00:16:54$50,000, are you insane?
00:16:56No, it's not for you to decide!
00:16:58That was all the negative of those photos, all right?
00:17:00They're breaking fingers!
00:17:01No, you can't break my fingers!
00:17:02Come on!
00:17:04Give me the picture!
00:17:05Hey, hey, hey!
00:17:06Come on, break it up!
00:17:07Break it up!
00:17:08She's crazy!
00:17:09Hey, hey!
00:17:10She's crazy!
00:17:11That's for calling me a maid!
00:17:17He works the hotel security monitors.
00:17:19That's how we got the photos.
00:17:20That miserable cockroach!
00:17:22If you want to smack him around a little,
00:17:24I can go inside and turn up the radio.
00:17:26Again, no thank you, but I will need those photos.
00:17:29Oh, no, no, I'm gonna hang on to these.
00:17:31They're a little revealing.
00:17:32Ma'am, we can't charge him without evidence.
00:17:34And if he walks, he can do what he wants with the originals.
00:17:38Okay, yeah.
00:17:41Guard them with your life.
00:17:45Yeah, especially that one.
00:17:49We've been open for three months now,
00:17:51and we've barely turned a profit.
00:17:53We are building a customer base.
00:17:54That takes time.
00:17:55Go on, ask her.
00:17:57No, you ask her.
00:17:59Why are you being so stubborn?
00:18:02You would rather see the restaurant fail than succeed with Rick's idea.
00:18:05And I can't believe that you two are ready to toss out my concept.
00:18:08You know, why don't you just rename the restaurant Lynette and Rick's?
00:18:11Can we have futzicles?
00:18:12No!
00:18:13Sorry, Lynette, but the menu is not changing.
00:18:17End of discussion.
00:18:18I don't think so.
00:18:19Giving it a try.
00:18:21That's not your decision to make.
00:18:24Yeah.
00:18:25Well, then why don't you come down to the restaurant and stop me?
00:18:28Oh, that's right.
00:18:29You can.
00:18:30I told you she'd say no.
00:18:35Miss McCuskey always has some fudgesicles.
00:18:40Yeah, but she's in the hospital.
00:19:05Where's the ice cream?
00:19:29She didn't have any.
00:19:31Oh, man.
00:19:33Wasn't anything good in there?
00:19:35No.
00:19:36Ugh.
00:19:59What the hell were you thinking?
00:20:01How was I supposed to know the cops were going to release the photos to the press?
00:20:03Everybody in town knows the police chief is the mayor's brother-in-law.
00:20:06Everyone!
00:20:07Enough, Jerome.
00:20:08I want you to organize a press conference and then I want you to help me prep for it.
00:20:10Well, this is going to be a bloodbath.
00:20:11I don't know how you're going to prep.
00:20:12Just get me a bucket of piranhas.
00:20:14I'll stick my head in it.
00:20:22You know, you're a single guy.
00:20:23Maybe people won't care.
00:20:24I'm running a family values campaign and I had sex in an elevator.
00:20:28I think they will care.
00:20:31Look, I know this is my fault.
00:20:34If you want to bite my head off, go ahead.
00:20:36You know, Gabby, there are only two things that matter to me these days.
00:20:39My campaign and you.
00:20:41And if I had to lose one of them, I'd rather it was the campaign.
00:20:45Is there anything I can do?
00:20:52Uh, yeah.
00:20:54You can stick around on election night.
00:20:56I have a feeling I'm going to need some serious consoling.
00:21:04Mmm.
00:21:05God, they're so good.
00:21:07I know.
00:21:08It's hard to decide, huh?
00:21:09No.
00:21:10No, I'm going to go with the crab cakes and the little quesadillas.
00:21:13Well, all we need is a wedding cake and we're done.
00:21:16You were the most decisive bride I've ever met.
00:21:18I just guess I'm in a rush.
00:21:20Oh?
00:21:21Oh.
00:21:22Gotcha.
00:21:23Well, don't worry.
00:21:24You are not showing at all.
00:21:26Oh, no, no, no.
00:21:27No, I'm not pregnant.
00:21:28No, I just know what I want.
00:21:30Which is Ian.
00:21:32So I'm just eager to, you know, not get it over with per se,
00:21:35but just to get to the good part.
00:21:38Which is the marriage.
00:21:40To Ian.
00:21:41Seems like a great guy.
00:21:43I don't suppose he has a brother.
00:21:48Oh, so you're not seeing anyone?
00:21:50No.
00:21:51I'm between disappointments.
00:21:52Well, are you free for dinner tomorrow?
00:21:54Is this some lame setup?
00:21:56Please say yes.
00:21:58Well, there's this guy coming to dinner and he's single and handsome and charming and...
00:22:04You had me at Guy.
00:22:06So how do you know him?
00:22:08Oh, uh...
00:22:10He's just a neighbor.
00:22:19Hi, buddy. What you doing?
00:22:21Nothing.
00:22:25You seem a little hopey lately. Is everything okay?
00:22:27Yeah.
00:22:28Can we go see Mrs. McCluskey?
00:22:33You guys didn't have to come down here.
00:22:34No matter what that cat scan says, I'm breaking out tomorrow.
00:22:37Well, Parker really wanted to come visit you.
00:22:39I'm going to put a little water in these.
00:22:43Don't tell your brothers.
00:22:44You were always my favorite.
00:22:46I saw the man in your freezer.
00:22:51Lynette?
00:22:52Yeah?
00:22:53Could you run down to the snack bar and get me some green jello?
00:22:55Oh, sure.
00:23:01Okay. Time for a little grown-up talk.
00:23:12So can you understand now why I had to do what I did?
00:23:15Mm-hmm.
00:23:16And how you can never tell anyone, not even your mom?
00:23:18Hey.
00:23:19They didn't have jello, so I hope pudding is okay.
00:23:25Let's give it to Parker.
00:23:26A good boy like him deserves a treat.
00:23:38What are you thinking about?
00:23:41Just...
00:23:42This river doesn't really work.
00:23:45It's just too sterile.
00:23:47Can we go back to that Spanish colonial in third?
00:23:50Sure.
00:23:52Fine.
00:23:54You know what I was thinking?
00:23:55Hmm.
00:23:57I'm really happy.
00:23:59And I haven't felt this happy in a long time.
00:24:04How about you?
00:24:05You happy?
00:24:08Oh, my God!
00:24:10Oh!
00:24:11Oops. Sorry.
00:24:12That's not me.
00:24:14Russell!
00:24:15Why don't you check out the Sub-Zero in the kitchen?
00:24:16It's to die.
00:24:18Well, I see you can't close a sale without opening something else.
00:24:22Oh, please.
00:24:23I heard about your open house on Holly Drive.
00:24:26They're still disinfecting the Jacuzzi.
00:24:29Slut.
00:24:30Bitch!
00:24:34You think he's gonna tell anyone?
00:24:36He's a gay realtor.
00:24:37He's speed dialing as we speak.
00:24:40Then go stop him.
00:24:41What's the big deal?
00:24:42Who cares if people find out?
00:24:44I do.
00:24:46Are you embarrassed to be dating me?
00:24:47No.
00:24:49You know, if Gabby finds out, she's gonna hit the ceiling.
00:24:53Oh, why would she care?
00:24:54She's dating that Victor guy.
00:24:56Please, that's not gonna last.
00:25:01Oh, my God.
00:25:04You're still in love with her.
00:25:06No, I just...
00:25:08I mean, we've been getting along, and I don't wanna...
00:25:12I don't know who the bitter moron is.
00:25:14It's you or me.
00:25:17Hey, don't be like this.
00:25:19Look, we're having fun, right?
00:25:21Apparently, that's all we're having.
00:25:23Edie, come on!
00:25:25No, fun's over.
00:25:34Ah, Mike.
00:25:36Thanks for coming.
00:25:38Thanks for asking me.
00:25:41Seriously?
00:25:44Hi.
00:25:48Um, Mike.
00:25:50I want you to meet Maggie Gilroy.
00:25:58I don't believe this.
00:26:00You're setting me up.
00:26:01You need to move on, okay?
00:26:03I don't wanna move on.
00:26:05I came here to see you.
00:26:06Well, I'm not available, so if you feel like kissing someone tonight, point those lips at Maggie.
00:26:11Here we go.
00:26:14Your beer.
00:26:17Did I mention that Maggie is an amazing chef?
00:26:20We're embarrassed to be cooking for her.
00:26:22Stop.
00:26:23So, uh, Mike, do you have a favorite type of cuisine?
00:26:26Uh, after three months of prison food, everything tastes good to me.
00:26:32So, you were in prison?
00:26:36He was totally innocent.
00:26:38Yeah, a woman was bludgeoned to death, and her blood wound up on my wrench.
00:26:42Oh, my God.
00:26:44But he was cleared.
00:26:45All charges dropped.
00:26:46Here.
00:26:47Eat this.
00:26:48It's just so awful to go to jail for a crime you didn't commit.
00:26:52Oh, it was just a few months.
00:26:53Now, my first stretch for manslaughter?
00:26:56That was brutal.
00:26:57My worst cellmate was this guy called Stiltz.
00:27:04When they arrested him, they found a bowl full of ears.
00:27:08Ow.
00:27:10I think that was meant for you.
00:27:12Sorry.
00:27:13So, why don't I just go and brew some coffee?
00:27:16And I brought a little surprise for dessert.
00:27:19Wedding cakes for you to sample.
00:27:21Great.
00:27:22Thanks a lot.
00:27:28Now Maggie thinks you're Charles Manson.
00:27:30I don't care.
00:27:31I love you.
00:27:32Don't say that.
00:27:33It's true.
00:27:34I remember everything now.
00:27:35When I got run over, I was on my way to propose to you.
00:27:38I don't want to talk about it.
00:27:39I do.
00:27:41What would you have said?
00:27:45You know what I would have said.
00:27:46It doesn't matter now.
00:27:47The hell it doesn't, Susan.
00:27:49If you can look me in the eye and tell me that when we kissed, you felt nothing, then I'll just go.
00:27:54But only if you can say that and really mean it.
00:27:57Can you?
00:28:00Who wants wedding cake?
00:28:07Maggie, these cakes are fantastic.
00:28:09Great.
00:28:10Well, all you have to do is choose one and we're done.
00:28:13Did you notice the themes?
00:28:14Themes?
00:28:15Yes.
00:28:16This one is very British.
00:28:17Fondant icing and toffee ganache.
00:28:21And this is your classic American.
00:28:23White cake with buttercream frosting.
00:28:26So which one do you like the best?
00:28:32Wow, it's kind of hard to decide.
00:28:34Well, that depends on what you're looking for.
00:28:37Rich and elegant.
00:28:40Or down to earth and sweet.
00:28:42I don't know.
00:28:47You want to taste them again?
00:28:49No, I know what they taste like.
00:28:51I'm just torn, okay?
00:28:53There's no need to get upset.
00:28:54It's just a cake.
00:28:55It's not just a cake.
00:28:56It's a major decision.
00:28:58Well, hey, if you like them both so much, why don't you have two cakes?
00:29:02How would that look?
00:29:03Oh, hey, everybody.
00:29:04Here's my wedding cake.
00:29:06Oh, and what's that over there?
00:29:07It's my other wedding cake.
00:29:09I have to pick.
00:29:10And I will.
00:29:12So just stop pressuring me, okay?
00:29:21I'm sorry.
00:29:25I think I was just having a little sugar rush.
00:29:31Thanks again.
00:29:33I'm sorry.
00:29:39I'm sorry.
00:29:40I'm sorry.
00:29:41I'm sorry.
00:29:43I'm sorry.
00:29:45I'm sorry.
00:29:46I'm sorry.
00:29:47I'm sorry.
00:29:48I'm sorry.
00:29:49Seriously, just for now.
00:29:51Excuse me.
00:29:52Am I interrupting something?
00:29:53No.
00:29:55It's nothing.
00:29:57I think it's time to level with him.
00:29:59I just told Susan I want her back.
00:30:02Excuse me?
00:30:03Look, I know it puts a crimp in your plans, and I'm sorry, but I love her.
00:30:08But that's too damn bad, isn't it, because she doesn't love you, really?
00:30:11She didn't seem to mind when I kissed her.
00:30:13What? Did he just kiss you?
00:30:16No, it was days ago.
00:30:17And you let him?
00:30:18No! He pounced.
00:30:20It was hardly a pounce. You bastard. We had an agreement.
00:30:24Susan doesn't have to marry you because you won her in a game of cards.
00:30:28What, he didn't tell you how we played poker for you?
00:30:32You bet me in a game of poker?
00:30:35Not how it sounds. I merely suggested that if I won the hand, then he would stop badgering you.
00:30:41And if he won?
00:30:43Well, I forget the exact terms, but the point is he lost, as I knew he would.
00:30:47I never would have waged you if I didn't have a very good hand.
00:30:53Get out.
00:30:54Susan, please. You heard her.
00:30:56You too. I've had it with both of you. You're tugging at me like I'm some kind of wishbone.
00:31:00You're just upset.
00:31:01No, I am beyond upset.
00:31:03You two want a decision? Well, here's what I decide.
00:31:06There will be no kissing. And there will be no wedding.
00:31:09And there will be no damn change.
00:31:11What's this?
00:31:26Pumpkin sage ravioli. It's a little thank you for taking a chance on me.
00:31:32Are you kidding? I should be thanking you. We took in three grand tonight.
00:31:38Oh, wow. Candles too.
00:31:40Yeah. I think we should use them all the time. It softens up the ambiance.
00:31:44So, come on. Eat.
00:31:48Oh.
00:31:57Oh, my God. If we serve this for tomorrow's special, we will clear four grand.
00:32:03Great. Just be sure to run it by town.
00:32:06Why? You know, just shoot it down. I mean, I get it. He's in pain. Doesn't like being sidelined. But there's no reason to...
00:32:16You know what? Let's talk about something else.
00:32:18Yeah, sure.
00:32:19I mean, unless you'd like to go. You're here so late all the time.
00:32:23No. No. I like being here. It beats going home to an empty apartment.
00:32:27Don't you have any friends to hang out with?
00:32:29My friends come in two varieties. The ones I drove away before I got clean and the ones I should avoid if I want to stay clean.
00:32:35Oh. Yeah. I gotcha.
00:32:43You ever wear your hair down?
00:32:45What? Yeah. Sometimes. Why?
00:32:49Looks really good.
00:32:53Should do more often.
00:32:55Oh, wow.
00:32:57Thanks.
00:33:08This is delicious.
00:33:10Thanks.
00:33:12Hey, do you want some more wine?
00:33:13Sure.
00:33:19Daddy!
00:33:23The paper has a story about your restaurant.
00:33:26You're kidding.
00:33:27Come here. What does it say?
00:33:30When Scavo's pizzeria opened its doors, you could almost hear the city groan.
00:33:36Just what we need. Another pizza joint.
00:33:39But with an updated menu from new chef, Rick Coletti, is he the man who cooked us that really, really...
00:33:45Yep. Yep. That's the one. What else does it say, honey?
00:33:48There's more than just crayons on the table. The veal piccata is divine, and the mushroom risotto is an...
00:33:55...ex...qu...u...
00:33:57Exquisite.
00:33:58An exquisite treat.
00:33:59Scavo's has been transformed from a mundane family eatery into the area's hottest...
00:34:04That's enough, Kayla.
00:34:06Daddy's tired.
00:34:07Okay.
00:34:08Okay, okay, okay, okay. I know you guys like a good scandal, but I think the citizens of Fairview...
00:34:11...are more interested in the real issues.
00:34:12Okay, okay, okay, okay. I know you guys like a good scandal, but I think the citizens of Fairview...
00:34:36...are more interested in the real issues.
00:34:38Mr. Lang, given your 15-point drop in the polls, what do you have to say to your constituents?
00:34:48Well, I would ask them to not base their view of me on a single...
00:34:53It's not going very long, is it?
00:34:54You picked up on that, did you?
00:34:56Who is she, Mr. Lang? Give us a name.
00:34:59No, I will not identify the woman.
00:35:01What are you hiding? Is she a prostitute?
00:35:03No!
00:35:04No, she's not a prostitute.
00:35:05I'll answer your questions one at a time.
00:35:08That does it.
00:35:13No, no, no, no, what are you doing?
00:35:14Stop, please, please, stop.
00:35:15Excuse me.
00:35:16Excuse me.
00:35:17Excuse me.
00:35:18Excuse me.
00:35:19Excuse me.
00:35:20Excuse me.
00:35:21Excuse me.
00:35:22Excuse me!
00:35:23Excuse me!
00:35:24I am the woman in the photos!
00:35:26What are you doing?
00:35:32What are you doing?
00:35:33Standing by my hand.
00:35:34Where are your name?
00:35:36What is your name?
00:35:39What is your name?
00:35:41How are you?
00:35:43My name is Gabrielle Marquez, and I want you to know right before those photos were taken,
00:35:47Victor asked me to marry him.
00:35:49What did you say?
00:35:51I said yes.
00:35:52Hello.
00:35:53What did you say?
00:35:55I said, yes, I would be thrilled to be Mrs. Victor Lang.
00:36:01Mr. Lang, are you going to get married?
00:36:03Are you going to get married?
00:36:06In fact, I was so overcome that when we were trapped in the elevator,
00:36:09I seized the moment to express my joy.
00:36:14This is a love story.
00:36:16The only reason Victor kept it from you was to protect me.
00:36:19Because he's the kind of man who puts a woman's honor before his own.
00:36:23And that's the kind of man you marry.
00:36:26That's the kind of man you vote for.
00:36:51What's that smell?
00:36:53Oh, my God.
00:37:09Ma'am?
00:37:14Are you Karen McCluskey?
00:37:17That little bastard gave me up, didn't he?
00:37:19Today, at the mayoral candidate's press conference, a woman identified as Gabrielle Marquez, a former model, surprised reporters by announcing her engagement to Mr. Lange.
00:37:33The only reason he didn't tell you was because he was protecting me.
00:37:38Carlos, I don't know if you've heard.
00:37:41Yeah.
00:37:43I heard.
00:37:44In a few months, I will be Mrs. Victor Lange.
00:37:49I just heard on the radio the power company is still having problems, and there might be another rolling blackout today.
00:38:05Do you want me to leave Ida's number in case something happens?
00:38:07I'm sure I'll be fine.
00:38:10Did you read our review in the paper?
00:38:13Yep.
00:38:16Okay.
00:38:19I'm off.
00:38:20Power.
00:38:26It's the type of thing most people don't think about.
00:38:46until it's taken away.
00:38:52Whether it's the political power of the many,
00:39:00or a lover's influence over just one,
00:39:05we all want some sort of power in our lives,
00:39:09if only to give ourselves choices.
00:39:16Yes, to be without choices,
00:39:20to feel utterly powerless,
00:39:23well, it's a lot.
00:39:27Like being alone in the dark.
00:39:34Previously on Desperate Housewives...
00:39:36I saw the man in your freezer.
00:39:37Mrs. McCluskey and Parker shared a secret.
00:39:41You can never tell anyone.
00:39:42But the secret was discovered.
00:39:44You bet me in a game of poker.
00:39:46Susan was forced to make a decision.
00:39:48Get out.
00:39:49There will be no kissing,
00:39:50and there will be no wedding.
00:39:51Lynette ventured into dangerous territory.
00:39:54You ever wear your hair down?
00:39:55Sometimes.
00:39:56Looks really good.
00:39:57Thanks.
00:39:58Are you embarrassed to be dating me?
00:40:00Yeah.
00:40:00If Gabby finds out, she's gonna hit the ceiling.
00:40:02Edie came to a disturbing realization.
00:40:04Oh, my God.
00:40:05You're still in love with her.
00:40:06And Gabby took a bold step.
00:40:09In a few months, I will be Mrs. Victor Lang.
00:40:12The night of her engagement party, Gabrielle Solis was injured.
00:40:20But she wasn't hurt by the chauffeur who almost slammed a door on her fingers.
00:40:25Or the stranger who almost stepped on her hand.
00:40:29Or the waiter who almost dropped a knife on her wrist.
00:40:33No.
00:40:34Gabrielle's injury came about in a more unexpected fashion, and was caused by someone Gabrielle
00:40:41thought it was her friend.
00:40:45So, have you told Bree about your engagement?
00:40:47Yep.
00:40:48She's on the top of the Swiss Alp, and still managed to send a basket of muffins.
00:40:51You're kidding.
00:40:52No.
00:40:53Damn things traveled 5,000 miles, and they were still moist.
00:40:55I don't know how she does it.
00:40:56Hey, it's getting late.
00:40:57Let's break out the champagne.
00:40:58Wait, wait.
00:40:59You're not gonna embarrass me with some zappy toast, are you?
00:41:01I'm not.
00:41:02But Susan's written a poem.
00:41:04A poem?
00:41:05Mm-hmm.
00:41:06She's reworked the lyrics to Wind Beneath My Wings.
00:41:11Testing.
00:41:12One, two, three, testing.
00:41:14What are you waiting for?
00:41:15Get the champagne.
00:41:22Gabby?
00:41:23Yeah.
00:41:23Hi, Edie.
00:41:25So I finally met Victor.
00:41:26He is so charming.
00:41:28Isn't he great?
00:41:29I know it's been quick, but he's just so amazing.
00:41:32So you really love him?
00:41:34He is the one.
00:41:36He is?
00:41:37And I've never been happier.
00:41:39I am so thrilled for you.
00:41:45Edie, are you OK?
00:41:46Yes.
00:41:46Oh, yes.
00:41:47Yes, I'm fine.
00:41:48I...
00:41:50Oh, sweetie.
00:41:52Don't worry.
00:41:53You're gonna find someone soon.
00:41:54I just know it.
00:41:57What?
00:41:59Actually, I have found someone, and I am crazy about him.
00:42:04Well, who is it?
00:42:06Oh, no.
00:42:07No, no.
00:42:07Tonight, it's about you.
00:42:09Oh, no, no, Edie, come on.
00:42:11It would make me happy to know who's making you happy.
00:42:16Really?
00:42:16Yeah, I want to know who's putting that dopey grin on your face.
00:42:20Well, actually, it's Carlos.
00:42:24Who?
00:42:25Carlos.
00:42:27And this is how Gabrielle Solis came to be injured the night of her engagement party.
00:42:41And though she seemed to laugh it off, Gabrielle had been cut much, much deeper than anyone
00:42:48could see.
00:42:49What?
00:42:50Heh.
00:42:52Heh.
00:42:53Heh.
00:42:57Heh.
00:42:58Heh.
00:43:02Heh.
00:43:03Greg is definitely off the wagon.
00:43:30Gossip. For most housewives, it's just a harmless form of recreation, an exchange of semi-interesting tidbits concerning the semi-interesting lives of people they know.
00:43:41That mailman was in Sarah's house over an hour. Packages weren't all he's delivering.
00:43:47I could smell the whiskey on Amy's breath. It wasn't even noon yet.
00:43:50Joanne may say that she was off on a religious retreat, but since when does praying make your boobs bigger?
00:43:55For ten years.
00:43:56But the time comes in every neighborhood when something very interesting happens, and that's when gossip stops being recreation and becomes obsession.
00:44:06What kind of woman would keep her husband's body in the freezer?
00:44:08For ten years? It's crazy. Has anybody talked to her?
00:44:11I've knocked. Twice. She's not answering.
00:44:13Oh, I saw the curtain move. I think I saw a hand.
00:44:15Oh, great. Now we know she's watching us.
00:44:16Why should we be embarrassed? We're not the ones who kept a corpsicle in the basement.
00:44:20Oh, that's right. She babysat your kids.
00:44:22Oh, please. I don't want to think of how many times she brought them ice cream from that basement.
00:44:26I mean, geez, if you want to keep your husband on ice, at least have a dedicated freezer.
00:44:30Do you think she actually killed him?
00:44:32Uh, yeah. Why else would she have hid the body?
00:44:34Well, so far she's only been charged with improper disposal of a corpse.
00:44:37Once they defrost the body and do an autopsy, I guarantee you they're going to find a belly full of arsenic.
00:44:42What's arsenic?
00:44:45It's just, it's something yucky, honey.
00:44:47Go on and play with people. Go on.
00:44:52I'm trying so hard to protect them from this.
00:44:54There are just some things that kids don't need to know about.
00:44:56Hell, there's some things we don't need to know about.
00:45:03Would you guys excuse me?
00:45:07Hey, Edie!
00:45:10Well, hi, Gabby.
00:45:12What's up?
00:45:13I've been doing some thinking, and you know how...
00:45:17How do I put this?
00:45:19You know how you feel like sometimes people hate you?
00:45:22I don't feel like that.
00:45:24Well, you should, because they do.
00:45:26Since when?
00:45:27Since you started doing things to piss people off.
00:45:29About what?
00:45:31Oh, I don't know. Off the top of my head.
00:45:34Dating your friend's exes?
00:45:35Oh.
00:45:37Oh, so that big smile on your face the other night was all an act.
00:45:41You're not fine with me seeing Carlos.
00:45:43Edie, there are a thousand single men in Fairview.
00:45:45Why do you have to date my ex-husband?
00:45:47You're engaged to somebody else. What do you care?
00:45:49It's awkward.
00:45:50It's like if I donated a dress to charity,
00:45:52and I went to a party, and you showed up wearing it.
00:45:55Again, if you gave it away in the first place,
00:45:56then what the hell are you bitching about?
00:45:58Look, Edie, just find your own men
00:46:00and stop snapping up other people's cast-offs.
00:46:04And what if I don't?
00:46:10Then be prepared to suffer the consequences.
00:46:14Oh, please.
00:46:15You are as tall as my legs.
00:46:18What are you going to do?
00:46:20You're about to find out.
00:46:27Who is it this time?
00:46:29Um, it's Ian.
00:46:32You going to talk to him?
00:46:34No.
00:46:34Ah, he's got flowers.
00:46:37I don't care.
00:46:38Looks like it's two dozen roses.
00:46:40Oh, good.
00:46:40I hope the thorns rip him to shreds.
00:46:42Okay, Mom, I know what Mike and Ian did was wrong, but...
00:46:45They bet me in a game of poker.
00:46:47They made decisions about my life
00:46:49over a hand of five-card stud.
00:46:50Wrong!
00:46:51Just does not even begin to cover it.
00:46:54Okay, okay, but there are only two guys in this world
00:46:56who know all of your flaws
00:46:57and have still found a way to love you.
00:46:59You're just going to toss them both away?
00:47:00Yes!
00:47:01I don't need a man.
00:47:02I don't need to need sex.
00:47:02I went without it the first 16 years.
00:47:0622 years of my life,
00:47:08and I can go a few more.
00:47:10Hmm.
00:47:15This should be interesting.
00:47:17What?
00:47:18Mike just walked up.
00:47:24Give it up.
00:47:26She didn't answer the first 10 times.
00:47:27She's not going to answer it now.
00:47:32Well, this is getting sad.
00:47:36Take it like a Brit.
00:47:37Stiff upper lip.
00:47:38You know what?
00:47:39I just about bloody had it with you.
00:47:41I preferred you when you were comatose
00:47:42and pooping in a bag.
00:47:44Wow, lucky for you I don't have that bag right now.
00:47:48All right, that does it.
00:47:49Uh, excuse me, guys.
00:47:53Hi.
00:47:54Um, my mom would really like for both of you to leave.
00:47:56Don't soft pedal it.
00:47:58Let her know I mean business.
00:47:59Uh, because if you don't,
00:48:00she'll be very, very disappointed.
00:48:03With them.
00:48:04So just, um,
00:48:06go home and think about what you've done.
00:48:09Ow!
00:48:09If you want something bitchier,
00:48:11do it yourself.
00:48:17Here we are.
00:48:18Ravioli stuffed with duck confit
00:48:20and a porcini cream sauce.
00:48:26What do you think?
00:48:27I think it's a shame
00:48:29you didn't make any for yourself.
00:48:34Ah.
00:48:36Hi, honey.
00:48:36Hey, I just wanted to say I love you.
00:48:40Aren't you sweet?
00:48:42What's that noise in the background?
00:48:43Are the boys still up?
00:48:44Yeah, they don't want to go to bed.
00:48:47Well, of course they don't.
00:48:48They're kids.
00:48:49You're the dad.
00:48:49Make them.
00:48:50Well, I tried, honey,
00:48:51but they weren't laid up for you.
00:48:52They, they missed their mom.
00:48:55Ah, is this your way of
00:48:56guilting me into coming back home?
00:48:58Lynette, the restaurant did close
00:49:00a half hour ago.
00:49:02Preston, don't throw pudding.
00:49:05Oh, Tom.
00:49:07I'm sorry.
00:49:08I can't come home.
00:49:09We're, um,
00:49:10doing inventory,
00:49:12so it could be a while.
00:49:15Well, okay.
00:49:17Try to hurry.
00:49:18I will.
00:49:19I love you.
00:49:19Bye.
00:49:23Inventory?
00:49:23I know.
00:49:24I'm a horrible person.
00:49:26I just chose ravioli
00:49:27over motherhood.
00:49:30I should,
00:49:31I should go home.
00:49:32Lynette, you got nothing
00:49:33to feel guilty about.
00:49:33You bust your ass
00:49:34in this restaurant every day.
00:49:36You keep it going.
00:49:37And if anybody deserves
00:49:38a little downtime,
00:49:38it's you.
00:49:39Those are shameless
00:49:40rationalizations.
00:49:43Keep them coming.
00:49:46Oh.
00:49:47Mm.
00:49:48Those two.
00:49:50There you are.
00:49:57What are you doing outside?
00:50:00Some big kids threw eggs
00:50:01at Miss McCluskey's house.
00:50:02Oh, jeez.
00:50:06You shouldn't have done that.
00:50:08You should go talk to her.
00:50:12No.
00:50:13It's late.
00:50:14She probably doesn't
00:50:15want us to bother her.
00:50:17Come on, bud.
00:50:18Bedtime.
00:50:18So here's what's
00:50:34going to happen.
00:50:35We're not talking
00:50:35to Edie anymore.
00:50:37What do you mean, we?
00:50:38I mean, we,
00:50:39as in she betrayed me,
00:50:40and you're my best friend,
00:50:41so you're going to support me
00:50:42because that's what friends do.
00:50:43And support to you means
00:50:44acting like we're
00:50:45in junior high?
00:50:47I can't believe
00:50:47you're not furious at this.
00:50:49Before she sank
00:50:50her fangs into Carlo,
00:50:51she was dating
00:50:51your ex-husband.
00:50:52And Mike.
00:50:53Yes.
00:50:54And do you know
00:50:54who I blame?
00:50:55I blame Carl and Mike.
00:50:57Why isn't anybody
00:50:58mad at them?
00:50:58I mean, let's face it,
00:50:59the men,
00:51:00they get away with murder.
00:51:01They're scum.
00:51:04Okay.
00:51:05Back to Edie.
00:51:06I'm not sure
00:51:06I'm comfortable
00:51:07ganging up on her.
00:51:08Really?
00:51:09Because I wasn't
00:51:09very comfortable
00:51:10taking your side
00:51:11when you were feuding
00:51:11with Patty Monroe
00:51:12over the backyard fence line.
00:51:13But I did.
00:51:14Oh, Gabby,
00:51:15that's not fair.
00:51:15Nobody really liked
00:51:16Patty to begin with.
00:51:17Shh, shh, shh.
00:51:18Don't even get me started
00:51:19about what I've done
00:51:19for you, okay?
00:51:20I'm still boycotting
00:51:21Madam Kim's dazeball
00:51:22because of your botched
00:51:23bikini wax.
00:51:24Oh, my God.
00:51:25How do you botch
00:51:25a bikini wax?
00:51:26She will show you later.
00:51:28The point is,
00:51:29good friends share more
00:51:30than just gossip
00:51:31and brunch.
00:51:32They share enemies, too.
00:51:33So are you with me
00:51:34or not?
00:51:39Of course we're with you.
00:51:41We will give Edie
00:51:42the cold shoulder.
00:51:43No, no.
00:51:43Not cold.
00:51:44Frozen.
00:51:45I want icicles
00:51:46hanging from that bitch's ears.
00:51:51Hello?
00:51:54Hi.
00:51:56Hey, do you still want me
00:51:57to look at that book report?
00:51:59Daddy helped me yesterday.
00:52:00You weren't home.
00:52:01Oh, okay.
00:52:04Daddy does everything lately.
00:52:06How come you always
00:52:07come home so late?
00:52:08Well, I'm really busy
00:52:11at the restaurant.
00:52:13Believe me,
00:52:13I come home to Daddy
00:52:14just as soon as I can.
00:52:17You're lying.
00:52:20What?
00:52:21You always laugh like that
00:52:23when you're telling a lie.
00:52:25Why would you say that?
00:52:30Because it's true.
00:52:34I stay late
00:52:35because there's a lot
00:52:35of work to do
00:52:36and right now
00:52:36I'm the only person
00:52:37who can do it
00:52:37and now I have to go
00:52:38to the grocery store
00:52:39because I am the only person
00:52:40who can do that.
00:52:41So why don't you go upstairs
00:52:42and finish your homework?
00:52:48Okay.
00:52:52But it is what you do.
00:52:53Uh, hey, excuse me.
00:53:15That's my space.
00:53:16Well, I'm parked in it
00:53:17so that kind of
00:53:18makes it my space.
00:53:19Hey, uh,
00:53:20I waited for that spot
00:53:21while the guy
00:53:22made three phone calls
00:53:23and flossed his teeth.
00:53:24You can't just steal it.
00:53:25It's a parking space.
00:53:27Keep a lid
00:53:27on your hormones, honey.
00:53:31Ah, God!
00:53:33You did that on purpose!
00:53:34Yeah, and I'm about
00:53:35to do this on purpose, too.
00:53:36Jesus.
00:53:37Bitch, what do you think
00:53:38you're doing?
00:53:39What are you doing?
00:53:39What are you doing?
00:53:40I'm taking my damn space!
00:53:42Get out of my car.
00:53:43Get out of my car.
00:53:44Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:53:45Hey, hey, hey.
00:53:45Say you're sorry.
00:53:46Let me go!
00:53:47Say it!
00:53:48Okay, okay.
00:53:49I'm sorry.
00:53:49Say, I'm a rude, arrogant bastard
00:53:51who needs to treat women
00:53:52with courtesy and respect.
00:53:53I'm a rude, arrogant...
00:53:55How does the rest of me go?
00:53:56Freeze!
00:53:58Is this man trying
00:53:59to steal your car?
00:54:00It's my car!
00:54:01She tripped me
00:54:02and grabbed my keys.
00:54:05Is this true, ma'am?
00:54:06Oh, all right.
00:54:07Take inside.
00:54:14Hey, who are you spying on?
00:54:15Lynette, she hasn't returned
00:54:18my last two phone calls.
00:54:19I think something's up.
00:54:21She's probably just busy.
00:54:22Yeah, we'll see about that.
00:54:24I'm calling her right now.
00:54:30Oh, my God!
00:54:33What?
00:54:35She just screened me.
00:54:37I have been screened.
00:54:38Maybe she's in a hurry.
00:54:40No, no, no.
00:54:41This has Gabrielle Solis
00:54:42written all over it.
00:54:44She is turning people against me.
00:54:46And you're surprised.
00:54:47I told you how she'd react
00:54:48if she found out about us.
00:54:50Yeah?
00:54:51Well, if she wants to play
00:54:52these schoolgirl games, fine.
00:54:55Because I invented them.
00:55:05Lynette!
00:55:06Hi!
00:55:06Hey, hey!
00:55:08I just tried calling you.
00:55:09Oh, really?
00:55:10My ringer must have been off.
00:55:12Oh, no problem.
00:55:13I wanted to invite you
00:55:14and the boys
00:55:15to Travis's birthday party
00:55:16on Saturday.
00:55:17Yeah, I'm having this reptile guy
00:55:18and he's got all these
00:55:18cool snakes and lizards.
00:55:20Oh, the boys would love that,
00:55:22but unfortunately,
00:55:23I gotta work.
00:55:24Well, that's a shame
00:55:24because I was hoping
00:55:25you could cater.
00:55:29Cater?
00:55:30Yeah, I'm gonna need
00:55:31pastas and salads
00:55:32for the parents
00:55:33and at least 20 pizzas
00:55:34for the kids.
00:55:35That many?
00:55:36Yeah.
00:55:37Well, you know, kids,
00:55:39if one has a pizza party,
00:55:40they're all gonna want
00:55:40a pizza party.
00:55:42Could be good for business.
00:55:46Well, yeah,
00:55:47I guess I could
00:55:48work something out.
00:55:49Oh, I knew I could
00:55:51count on you.
00:55:52Love ya.
00:55:53Yeah.
00:55:53Look, whatever that court report says,
00:56:01I do not have anger issues.
00:56:03I was just having a bad day.
00:56:05You threatened to decapitate
00:56:07a man over a parking space?
00:56:09A very bad day.
00:56:12Susan, when someone loses it
00:56:15like you did,
00:56:15there's usually a reason.
00:56:17Are things going okay at work?
00:56:18Work is great.
00:56:20You could just sign that paper
00:56:22and tell the judge I'm fine.
00:56:24What about your family?
00:56:25Family's terrific.
00:56:26Seriously,
00:56:27you're just wasting
00:56:28your time here.
00:56:29How's your love life?
00:56:32It's so good.
00:56:41Cancel my lunch.
00:56:43I'm gonna be here for a while.
00:56:44Will you stop ringing
00:56:50that damn...
00:56:51I'm sorry, Parker.
00:56:53I thought you were
00:56:54one of those little piss-ass
00:56:54that keep ringing the bell
00:56:55and running away.
00:56:57So what's on your mind?
00:56:58I want you to come back
00:56:59and babysit us.
00:57:00The new sitter stinks.
00:57:03Your folks hired a new sitter?
00:57:05Yeah, and she thinks
00:57:06carrot sticks are snacks.
00:57:09Well, that's rough.
00:57:11But lives like that sometimes.
00:57:13It doesn't have to be.
00:57:15If you just told people
00:57:16what happened with your husband,
00:57:17everything could go back
00:57:18to the way it was.
00:57:20Parker,
00:57:21see those women over there?
00:57:24Nothing I could say
00:57:26would stop those tongues
00:57:26from wagging.
00:57:29I'm sorry, kid,
00:57:30but I just have to
00:57:31wait this one out.
00:57:35Can you imagine?
00:57:41I mean, finding out
00:57:42that two men you trusted
00:57:43bet you in a poker game.
00:57:46I mean, how demeaning
00:57:46is that?
00:57:47It depends on how
00:57:48you look at it.
00:57:49Men have been waging
00:57:50contests over women
00:57:51for centuries.
00:57:53I grant you,
00:57:53poker isn't as romantic
00:57:55as, say, jousting,
00:57:56but it shows how
00:57:57they felt about you.
00:57:59The real question
00:58:00is how did you feel
00:58:01about them?
00:58:03I told you.
00:58:04Hurt and betrayed.
00:58:06No.
00:58:07How did you feel
00:58:08about them before
00:58:08this poker business?
00:58:11Well,
00:58:13I was engaged to Ian,
00:58:16so obviously I loved him.
00:58:19And Mike?
00:58:20Were you in love
00:58:21with him, too?
00:58:22How are we doing on time?
00:58:24Susan.
00:58:25Okay, fine.
00:58:25I loved him.
00:58:26I still love him.
00:58:27And I love Ian,
00:58:28so I am totally,
00:58:30hopelessly in love
00:58:30with two men.
00:58:31Now we're getting
00:58:32somewhere.
00:58:33This is good.
00:58:34No, this is horrible.
00:58:35This wasn't supposed
00:58:36to happen.
00:58:37I only let myself
00:58:38fall for Ian
00:58:39because I thought
00:58:39Mike was lost to me.
00:58:41And then, bang,
00:58:42suddenly he wants me back
00:58:43and now I have this choice
00:58:44that I can't possibly make.
00:58:45I agree.
00:58:46It's tough.
00:58:47It's devastating.
00:58:49If I go with Mike,
00:58:51Ian's heart will be broken
00:58:53and Ian does not deserve that.
00:58:56But how can I reject Mike
00:58:58after all he's been through?
00:59:00So you're just going to
00:59:01walk away from both of them?
00:59:02You have to make a choice,
00:59:05sweetie.
00:59:05You've got two great guys,
00:59:07both of them crazy about you.
00:59:09To let one go,
00:59:10well, that's life.
00:59:12It happens.
00:59:13To let them both go,
00:59:15that's just stupid.
00:59:20Yes.
00:59:21That would be the clinical term.
00:59:28Sounds great.
00:59:30Thanks.
00:59:32Hey, how would you like
00:59:37to eat something
00:59:37that's neither pasta nor pizza?
00:59:39Such food exists.
00:59:41Don't tease me.
00:59:42My friend Al,
00:59:43he's opening a soul food place
00:59:45and Sunday night
00:59:46wants to test the menu
00:59:47with some of his chef buddies.
00:59:48He said I could bring someone.
00:59:50And you want me to go with you?
00:59:52It'll be after we close.
00:59:56And don't tell me
00:59:57that you hate southern food
00:59:58because then we can't be friends.
01:00:00No, I love it.
01:00:02It's just that's a little late for me.
01:00:04Oh, okay.
01:00:06I just thought it'd be fun.
01:00:07No, it would be,
01:00:08but Sunday nights are kind of crazy.
01:00:09I'm packing lunches
01:00:11and checking homework.
01:00:12Right, right, right.
01:00:13No worries.
01:00:14I get it.
01:00:15You're just the first person
01:00:16I thought of.
01:00:23You know, maybe I should go.
01:00:26Um, it's part of the job
01:00:29to check out the competition, right?
01:00:31Yeah, absolutely.
01:00:32Never hurts to see
01:00:33what else is out there.
01:00:36I agree.
01:00:46Hey, guys, go check out the sink.
01:00:57Just give me some pizza later, okay?
01:00:59See you later.
01:00:59All right, I'll see you later.
01:01:00Hey, you want some pizza?
01:01:02Yeah.
01:01:02There you go.
01:01:04What's that?
01:01:05What are you doing here?
01:01:08Edie asked me to cater.
01:01:09I know I'm a total whore,
01:01:11but please don't rat me out to Gabby.
01:01:13Hi, Susan.
01:01:14I have 30 copies of your book.
01:01:16The kids can't wait
01:01:17for you to sign it.
01:01:18Come on, let's go.
01:01:19Come on, come on.
01:01:23Looks like we're working
01:01:24the same corner.
01:01:25Yeah.
01:01:26Only I didn't know Edie
01:01:27was going to have the party
01:01:28in a park.
01:01:29What if Gabby sees us?
01:01:30Trust me, we can both relax.
01:01:32I talked to her this morning
01:01:32and she's out with Victor all day.
01:01:34Oh, that's a relief.
01:01:36Ha, ha.
01:01:46Go ahead.
01:02:00I dare you.
01:02:00Hey!
01:02:01What's going on?
01:02:18Oh, man.
01:02:20Hey, don't do that.
01:02:22Why not?
01:02:22Because she's not a witch.
01:02:24How do you know?
01:02:25Because she isn't.
01:02:25Don't be a jerk.
01:02:26Is she your girlfriend?
01:02:27Parker's in love.
01:02:29Shut up.
01:02:31Hey, you boys.
01:02:32Knock it off.
01:02:35Parker, I'm so sorry.
01:02:37Are you all right?
01:02:39You know, everything would be okay
01:02:41if you'd tell people
01:02:42what you told me.
01:02:43You can make them stop.
01:02:44Hey, Lynette, it's Gabby.
01:02:54Victor got pulled into some photo op
01:02:55at the homeless shelter, so...
01:02:57I'm free for lunch.
01:02:58You want to go with?
01:02:59I tried Susan, but she's not home,
01:03:02which is weird because her car's
01:03:03in the driveway.
01:03:05So is yours.
01:03:07Where is everybody?
01:03:09Come on, hey!
01:03:10Hey!
01:03:14Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.
01:03:28Lynette, what is wrong with you?
01:03:29He's coming.
01:03:30What?
01:03:30I thought you said she was with Victor.
01:03:32I wish you were wrong.
01:03:32I wish you were wrong.
01:03:33Come on.
01:03:33Follow me.
01:03:34Follow me.
01:03:37Mommy, can I play?
01:03:38No, go ride the python.
01:03:41Come on.
01:03:42Come on.
01:03:44Okay, okay, she's circling the park.
01:03:53Oh, I wish she'd hurry.
01:03:55I'm terrified of snakes.
01:03:56Yeah, I'm more terrified of Gabby.
01:03:59Okay, good, good.
01:04:00We're almost home free.
01:04:03What?
01:04:04Don't turn around.
01:04:05Hey, Gab, hi.
01:04:20What are you two doing here?
01:04:22Uh, what are we doing here?
01:04:23Well, Edie hired me to cater, so it's just business.
01:04:27I don't know what her excuse is.
01:04:30You are so dead.
01:04:32I don't believe it.
01:04:33This is an absolute betrayal of our friendship.
01:04:35Gabby, she asked me to make 20 pizzas.
01:04:37I couldn't turn it down.
01:04:38Oh, this is so delicious.
01:04:42Is that what our friendship is worth to you?
01:04:4320 pizzas?
01:04:44We had it packed.
01:04:45Oh, come on, Gabby.
01:04:46Be fair.
01:04:47You put us in a really awkward position.
01:04:49Me?
01:04:49You two owe me an apology.
01:04:51Gabby, please.
01:04:52I am leaving this party right now, and if you two don't come with me, our friendship is over.
01:04:56Gabby!
01:04:56I mean it.
01:04:57No, no, no, no, no.
01:04:58No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:04:59Carlos, stop.
01:05:01Put me down.
01:05:02What are you doing?
01:05:04Stop it.
01:05:04Carlos, put me down.
01:05:07How dare you maul me like that?
01:05:09You are ruining Trevor's birthday party.
01:05:11What the hell is wrong with you?
01:05:12I'm sorry.
01:05:13Betrayal makes me a little cranky.
01:05:15Come on, Gabby.
01:05:15You can't tell Susan and Lynette who they're allowed to be friends with.
01:05:18It's ridiculous.
01:05:19I'll tell you what's ridiculous.
01:05:20You not having the guts to tell me you were dating Edie.
01:05:23Oh, here it is.
01:05:24Yeah.
01:05:24I had to find out from her at my damn engagement party.
01:05:27Well, I had to hear that you were engaged to that Victor guy on the news.
01:05:30I didn't plan it that way.
01:05:32It was spur of the moment.
01:05:33Oh, so you just said, hey, what the heck?
01:05:36You even in love with this guy?
01:05:37Yes, deeply.
01:05:46Must be nice.
01:05:49Well, aren't you in love with Edie?
01:05:51We're having fun together, but it'll never be serious.
01:05:54Oh.
01:05:55So, if I'm just dating, and you're in love and getting married,
01:06:01remind me again why it is that you get to be the angry one.
01:06:06I'm sorry, Carlos.
01:06:11You should be.
01:06:12And for the first time, Gabrielle was willing to let Carlos be with someone else.
01:06:23Hey.
01:06:24Because she knew he still belonged to her.
01:06:31Feel free to take home as much cake as you want.
01:06:34I do not want to be tempted.
01:06:35I might take a little for Tom.
01:06:40Hi, Miss McCluskey.
01:06:44Would you like some cake?
01:06:45I didn't come for sweets.
01:06:48I know you people have been talking about me, and I guess the only way to shut you up is to come clean.
01:06:53So, who would like to hear the gruesome details?
01:06:56I would.
01:07:01Um.
01:07:01It'd feel like it.
01:07:03Yeah.
01:07:04First off, and I know this will disappoint some of you, but I didn't kill Gilbert.
01:07:08I came home from a weekend in Laughlin and found him in front of the TV, dead.
01:07:15He still had the remote in his hand.
01:07:18Good Lord.
01:07:20It was 2 a.m., so I decided to wait until morning to call the funeral home.
01:07:24And I went to his desk to make sure everything was in order.
01:07:28I found his pension plan, and guess what?
01:07:32In the event of his death, I was not the beneficiary.
01:07:37Who was?
01:07:38His first wife.
01:07:41They were married when he started the job.
01:07:43For two years, we were together for 34 years, and that idiot didn't change the paperwork.
01:07:50I not only lost my Gilbert, but I was about to lose everything.
01:07:54So I, um...
01:07:57I, uh...
01:07:58You put him in the freezer and kept cashing the checks.
01:08:04Well, what else was I gonna do?
01:08:06Besides, after a while, it was kind of nice having him around.
01:08:13Anyway, that's the truth.
01:08:16You ladies have my permission to pass it along.
01:08:20Not that some of you ladies need it.
01:08:21You probably weren't expecting to see me, huh?
01:08:39Well, after 20 unanswered calls.
01:08:43No, not really.
01:08:44About that, uh, obviously I have been very confused.
01:08:50I finally saw a therapist.
01:08:53Actually, it was sort of a court-ordered thing.
01:08:55Anyway...
01:08:55Well, I need to talk to you.
01:08:59You sound sure.
01:09:06I am.
01:09:09I'm gonna marry Ian.
01:09:16Believe me, this wasn't easy.
01:09:19Especially when you started to remember how it was between us.
01:09:22Maybe if the timing had been different.
01:09:28It wasn't.
01:09:33I'm sorry, Mike.
01:09:38Well, at least I have my memories.
01:09:39Yes.
01:09:40Yes.
01:09:40Yes.
01:09:40Yes.
01:09:40Yes.
01:09:40Yes.
01:09:42Yes.
01:09:44Yes.
01:09:45Yes.
01:09:46Yes.
01:09:47Yes.
01:09:48Yes.
01:09:49Yes.
01:09:50Yes.
01:09:51Yes.
01:09:52Yes.
01:09:57You ready to go?
01:09:57Yeah, um, I told Kim that we'd be out the rest of the evening and she's gonna lock up.
01:10:01Great, I'll, uh, just get my jacket.
01:10:03Okay.
01:10:11Hey, you got a table for seven?
01:10:13Hey.
01:10:13Hi.
01:10:15What are you doing here?
01:10:16Well, the kids wanted to surprise you and it's been forever since we've all had dinner together.
01:10:21Well, how did you get here?
01:10:23I mean, you're not supposed to drive.
01:10:25I took a cab and double-dosed of the painkillers, and voila.
01:10:29You surprised?
01:10:30Yeah, a little.
01:10:31We missed you.
01:10:32Oh, I missed you, too.
01:10:34Hey, why don't you guys go grab that big table,
01:10:36and I will have Rick whip something up for us.
01:10:38Hi.
01:10:40Wow, you smell good.
01:10:42Oh, it must be the basil.
01:10:43It has got a sweet smell.
01:10:46Hey, Gila, can you get a diet trip for your sister, please?
01:10:48Yeah.
01:10:49All right, who wants pizza?
01:10:50Hi.
01:10:51Hi.
01:10:52Uh, change of plans.
01:10:53Yeah, yeah, I see.
01:10:55But I'm sorry, you could still go.
01:10:57Oh, no, no, no, I'll stay.
01:10:59I'll cook for your family.
01:11:00Thanks.
01:11:09Thanks, sweetie.
01:11:10You were taking such good care of me.
01:11:13When's the night getting home?
01:11:14As soon as she closes up the pizzeria.
01:11:16Is that guy Rick helping her?
01:11:18He better be, or as much as we're paying him.
01:11:20I think Lynette likes him.
01:11:23Sure, he's a nice guy.
01:11:24Hard worker.
01:11:26No, I mean, she likes him, likes him.
01:11:33What makes you say that?
01:11:35Just something I noticed.
01:11:38Well, good night, Daddy.
01:11:39Mrs. Susan Hainsworth.
01:11:52God, I love the sound of that.
01:11:54Or did you want to keep your name?
01:11:55Because I love the sound of that, too.
01:11:56As long as I get to call you my wife.
01:12:00Deal.
01:12:02Do you realise we're going to be blissfully happy, don't you?
01:12:04I mean, it could actually get a bit disgusting.
01:12:06People might throw fruit.
01:12:10Oh, I'm going to lock up down here.
01:12:12Why don't you go upstairs and warm up the bed?
01:12:17You do realise we're going to be great together, don't you?
01:12:19I know.
01:12:32Hey, Susan.
01:12:33I don't mean to bug you.
01:12:35There's just so much I didn't get to say.
01:12:39God, I'm lousy at goodbyes.
01:12:41Anyway, you will always be the best thing that ever happened to me.
01:12:46And, well, I hope you find the happiness you deserve.
01:12:50Bye.
01:12:52Oh, this is Mike.
01:12:59Hey, Susan.
01:13:00I don't mean to bug you.
01:13:02There's just so much I didn't get to say.
01:13:05Um, I...
01:13:06God, I'm lousy at goodbyes.
01:13:08Anyway, you will always be the best thing that ever happened to me.
01:13:12And, well, I hope you find the happiness you deserve.
01:13:16Bye.
01:13:17Oh, this is Mike.
01:13:24Where are you going?
01:13:26Oh, to England.
01:13:30To England?
01:13:31What's wrong?
01:13:32Well, it's just, um...
01:13:34But I don't think this is going to work.
01:13:36What?
01:13:38Just ten minutes ago, we were making plans,
01:13:41and you were saying how great we were going to be together.
01:13:43I, uh, saw you listening to that message from Mike.
01:13:48Oh.
01:13:52Ian, I made my choice.
01:13:54But not for the right reasons.
01:13:56You're just trying to honour a promise you made to me.
01:13:58That's not true.
01:14:03I will get over him.
01:14:04You've been trying to get over him for as long as I've known you.
01:14:07Haven't had much luck, have you?
01:14:10Ian, I love you.
01:14:12I know you do.
01:14:14But you love him a little bit more, don't you?
01:14:16I can't live a life where every time I see you with a faraway look,
01:14:31I'll wonder if you're thinking of him.
01:14:36I'm so sorry.
01:14:39You deserve to be happy.
01:14:44So do I.
01:14:44Goodbye, Susan.
01:15:03Hey, Mrs. McCluskey.
01:15:05One nap.
01:15:08Well, it turns out our new babysitter isn't working out too well.
01:15:12Feel up to another tour of duty?
01:15:13Are you sure you want the Wisteria witch looking after your kids?
01:15:18My kids know you're not a witch.
01:15:21Too bad.
01:15:22Use the leverage.
01:15:26I missed you.
01:15:28Same here.
01:15:32I'm gonna need a raise, though.
01:15:33Kind of strapped.
01:15:34I just talked to Mrs. McCluskey, and she is gonna start looking after her kids again.
01:15:48That's great.
01:15:49Yeah.
01:15:49Because actually, I have been thinking, and it is time that I got back to work.
01:15:55What?
01:15:57Yep.
01:15:58I'm feeling good.
01:15:59I'm getting around better.
01:16:01But the doctor said your recovery would take months, and it's only been six weeks.
01:16:06Well, it's not like I'm gonna, you know, deadlift a bag of ice, but I can sprinkle cheese on a pizza.
01:16:12Besides, I hate making you run that place by yourself.
01:16:17I don't mind.
01:16:18Really?
01:16:19Because before you said it was killing you.
01:16:21Yeah, well, you know, it is, but I just don't want you to come back before you're ready.
01:16:26You might re-injure yourself.
01:16:28I'll be careful.
01:16:29The best part is we can finally get Rick off the books.
01:16:32Rick?
01:16:33Why would we want to let him go?
01:16:34Well, I know he's been great, but his salary is cutting into our profits.
01:16:40Actually, he is bringing in more than enough business to cover his salary.
01:16:44I mean, with all those new dishes he's been cooking, he's got a lot of fans out there.
01:16:48Does he really?
01:16:49Yeah.
01:16:49I think firing would be a huge mistake.
01:16:52Well, it's just a thought.
01:16:55Well, don't think so much.
01:16:57Just rest and get better.
01:16:58That's what you need to do.
01:17:01You gonna be late tonight?
01:17:03Probably.
01:17:03We got a big party coming in at 10, so I'll just see you in the morning.
01:17:08I'll be here.
01:17:09Okay.
01:17:15Hi, Ida.
01:17:15What's up?
01:17:16That idiot postman mixed up our mail again.
01:17:19Oh, poor Mr. Henley.
01:17:20He does seem to be getting worse.
01:17:22Thanks for stopping by.
01:17:23Hey, have you heard about Mike?
01:17:24No.
01:17:25What about him?
01:17:26He moved.
01:17:28Moved?
01:17:29What do you mean?
01:17:29Moana Clark was up at 2 in the morning with acid reflux, and she saw him pack his car
01:17:36and everything.
01:17:39Well, that doesn't make sense.
01:17:40Mike wouldn't leave without saying goodbye.
01:17:42Well, he did.
01:17:43According to Carlos, something bad happened, and Mike just wanted to get the heck out of
01:17:48Dodge.
01:17:49It's a pity.
01:17:51I always liked him.
01:17:52I'd love to be assistant manager, but apparently you have to flirt with Mrs. Scaba to get that
01:18:15job.
01:18:15It's nasty speculation that's based on not-so-polite fact.
01:18:21He may be dating Edie.
01:18:23Everyone can see he's still in love with Gabby.
01:18:29How do we protect ourselves from the venomous sting of such idle gossip?
01:18:35Are you the lady who kept her husband in her freezer?
01:18:37The best way is to just tell the truth.
01:18:40Yep, that's me.
01:18:42I'm scarier, aren't I?
01:18:44And wait for people to start talking about someone else.