- 6/12/2025
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00:01Anybody home?
00:02Previously on Desperate Housewives...
00:05Susan played with fire...
00:07That's not my cup.
00:08...and could get burned.
00:09Go to a spa, go shopping, and find a way to relax.
00:12Gabrielle...
00:13Go get here as fast as you can.
00:14...found herself a playmate.
00:16Lynette couldn't get her kids to stop playing.
00:19Ma'am, you know why I pulled you over?
00:20I have a theory.
00:21I'm gonna start getting some sleep pretty soon.
00:23I'll be forced to move back upstairs out of sheer exhaustion.
00:25...and Brie played hardball.
00:27Everyone has a little dirty laundry.
00:34When I was alive, I maintained many different identities.
00:38Lover, wife, and ultimately victim.
00:42Yes, labels are important to the living.
00:45They dictate how people see themselves.
00:47Like my friend Lynette.
00:49She used to see herself as a career woman,
00:51and a hugely successful one at that.
00:54She was known for her power lunches,
00:58her eye-catching presentations,
01:00and her ruthlessness in wiping out the competition.
01:03But Lynette gave up her career to assume a new label,
01:08an incredibly satisfying role of full-time mother.
01:11SCAVA residence?
01:16Yes, this is me.
01:18But unfortunately for Lynette,
01:22this new label frequently fell short of what was advertised.
01:28How in the world did they...
01:33I left the door to the art supply cupboard open for five minutes.
01:38That's all.
01:39Five minutes.
01:40The little girl, why didn't she say anything?
01:44Your boys work quickly.
01:46Well, obviously they will be punished for this severely.
01:50I hesitate bringing this up since you got so ugly about it last time.
01:54They don't have attention deficit disorder,
01:57and I'm not going to drug my boys just to make your job easier.
02:01I'd rather change teachers.
02:03The boys are in my class because I'm the only teacher who can handle them.
02:07What if we separate the twins?
02:11Put them in different classes.
02:13They're much calmer when they're not bouncing off one another.
02:16We can try that.
02:17But if it doesn't work,
02:19we may no longer be able to accommodate them.
02:23It suddenly occurred to Lynette.
02:25Her label was about to change yet again.
02:28And for the next few years,
02:30she would be known as
02:32the mother of the boys who painted Tiffany Axelrod blue.
02:49Every part of the boys will be like on top of my hair.
02:59She was drawn on the blue.
03:03Don't Zuид핑,
03:04she waret Revolution,
03:05I think it's scar-dead person
03:07You would have asked for that.
03:08It's an interesting time.
03:10Yeah, she really wanted to try it again.
03:12I think that she had stumbled upon the tree,
03:14and she was just a profoundly
03:16It looked to be an interesting afternoon on Wisteria Lane.
03:28A mysterious cassette tape had been discovered by my friend Bree.
03:32She had stolen it from her marriage counselor.
03:34A counselor I'd once spoken to in strictest confidence.
03:40So how have you been?
03:41I had the nightmare again.
03:42It's weird to hear Mary Alice.
03:44Still the same one?
03:46Yes.
03:47But this time I was standing in a river and I saw the girl under the water and she kept screaming Angela over and over again.
03:55So what do you think the significance of the name Angela is?
04:00Actually, that's my real name.
04:03Her real name?
04:06That doesn't make any sense. I've seen her driver's license. It did not say Angela.
04:09Bree, what does it say on the rest of the tape?
04:11Just more about her nightmares and this girl she was afraid of.
04:15So what the hell do we do now?
04:16I think we should show Paul the note.
04:31Are you sure? He's going to freak.
04:33Well, it's now or never. I mean, I saw what he's asking for the place. It's going to sell quickly.
04:38Can I say something?
04:39I mean, I'm glad Paul's moving.
04:43Gabby!
04:44I'm sorry. He's just always giving me the creeps.
04:47Haven't you guys noticed? He has this dark thing going on.
04:51There's something about him that just feels malignant.
04:54Yes.
04:55We've all sort of felt it.
04:56That being said, I do love what he's done with that lawn.
05:19Mom, the dish is clean.
05:21Huh?
05:21Oh, I still don't understand why you don't just ask him out on an official date date.
05:27Oh, I'm trying a new strategy I'm playing hard to get.
05:30How long do you think you can keep that up?
05:31Oh, maybe until noon.
05:33Then I'm going to have to run over there and beg you don't to love me.
05:37Uh, Mom, I don't think you're going to be able to wait that long.
05:41You've got to be kidding. She washed her car yesterday.
05:58Oh, no, she's not.
06:02Yep.
06:03She's bringing out the big guns.
06:05You'd better get over there.
06:16She's wearing cotton.
06:20What am I supposed to say to Mike?
06:21I saw you half naked and I thought I'd drop by?
06:24What's that?
06:25A piece of Mike's junk, man, we got by mistake.
06:27I held on to it in case of an emergency.
06:30God bless you.
06:35Hi.
06:46Hey, Susan.
06:48We, um, got this by mistake.
06:50Oh, thanks.
06:53I hope it's not important.
06:54Oh, no, it's just a promotion for the Rialto.
06:57They're having a film festival.
06:58Oh.
07:01Well, I guess I've done my good deed for the day.
07:04I hope this, I'll head back home.
07:10Bye.
07:12Hey, you like old movies?
07:14I love old movies.
07:15I hate Susan Mayer.
07:25Every time I see those big doe eyes of hers, I swear to God, I just want to go out and shoot a deer.
07:32What has she done this time?
07:34Oh, she is out there throwing herself at Mike Delfino.
07:38Again.
07:40Susan likes Mike?
07:42Where the hell have you been, Martha?
07:45She's been lusting after him ever since you moved in.
07:47I got your message.
07:56What's going on?
07:58The boys refuse to be separated.
08:01They refuse?
08:03They're six years old.
08:04Make them.
08:05Look, school regulations are pretty strict about me wrestling with the boys.
08:09But if you want to give it a shot, be my guest.
08:12Fine.
08:15Oh.
08:17Which one goes and which one stays?
08:20You pick.
08:21Come on now.
08:30Stop it.
08:31Let's go.
08:31Let's go.
08:34Let's go.
08:36Let's go.
08:38Let's go.
08:39Let's go.
08:40Come on now.
08:41I need it.
08:41I love taking baths.
08:49Especially with you.
08:50It's like taking a vacation from the world.
08:53I hated taking baths when I was a kid.
08:56Of course, back then, the only thing I had to play with was my rubber ducky.
08:59Who's that?
09:02It's Mr. Police.
09:05Relax.
09:06Carlos is at work.
09:07He doesn't ring the doorbell.
09:15It's the cable guy.
09:17It's three hours late.
09:20Use the side entrance.
09:22Gabrielle knew her vacation from the world had ended.
09:25What she didn't know was, John had left behind a souvenir.
09:33I'm telling you, Dad didn't come home last night.
09:35They had a fight.
09:36A bad one.
09:37How bad?
09:38Like, divorce court bad.
09:44Listen to her.
09:45She always overcompensates when she's worried.
09:47Dad moves out and leaves this with her?
09:50I'll lose my mind.
09:53Dinner is on the table.
09:55Mom, where'd Dad go last night?
09:59He got a last-minute call to speak at a medical conference in Philadelphia.
10:03Take your seats.
10:13This marriage is so over.
10:20Andrew?
10:25Again, sorry I was late.
10:29The schedule overbooked me.
10:30How long are you going to be?
10:31Almost done.
10:33What is that scent?
10:34Is that siege and citrus?
10:35It's amazing.
10:36Try to hurry.
10:37I have stuff to do.
10:38Come on.
10:42What's happening?
11:02The cable guy fell.
11:04He hit his head on the tub.
11:05He may have a concussion.
11:07It's almost eight.
11:09He was late.
11:09Mrs. Hoover.
11:31Hello, Susan.
11:32I made you a pie.
11:33Oh, wow.
11:35Why?
11:36Do I need a motive to do something nice?
11:40I can't wait for you to try this.
11:42It's mincemeat.
11:44Actually, I just had dinner.
11:45That's okay.
11:46You can save it for later.
11:47What's so funny?
11:52I was just thinking of that expression, I'll make mincemeat out of you.
11:56Mincemeat used to be an entree made up of mostly chopped meat, so it was like saying,
12:00I'll chop you up into little bits.
12:03But that was centuries ago.
12:05Today, mincemeat is mostly made up of fruit, spices, and rum.
12:11There's no meat in it.
12:12And still people say, I'll make mincemeat out of you.
12:15I don't know that people really say that anymore.
12:18I do.
12:19So, Susan, how are you?
12:22I'm fine.
12:23Good.
12:25You know, I have a confession to make.
12:29I've always wished I'd have been more supportive when Carl left you.
12:32Oh, you don't have to apologize about Carl.
12:34Really, Carl and I are over.
12:36I've moved on.
12:37Yes, I know.
12:38You've moved on to that nice Mike Delfino.
12:40He's quite a catch, isn't he?
12:41You like him, don't you?
12:46Uh, sure.
12:48As a friend.
12:49Oh, Susan.
12:51Being coy is a strategy best employed by virgins at their first dance.
12:55For women of our age, it's just annoying.
13:00Are you sure you don't want pie?
13:02No, thank you.
13:03I hope it works out with you and Mike.
13:06You've been so desperate to land him.
13:09Why?
13:09Well, I am not desperate.
13:12Oh, good Lord, Susan.
13:13You burned your rival's house down.
13:15If that isn't desperate, I don't know what is.
13:19Mrs. Hooper, with all due respect, you're crazy.
13:22What's that?
13:30I think you recognize it.
13:32I found it in the ruins of Edie's home.
13:39Well, that's not...
13:40Shh, shh, shh, shh.
13:40My point is this.
13:42I wasn't there for you when Carl left, but I'm here for you now.
13:45As far as I'm concerned, this is our secret.
13:49And no one ever need know.
13:50Oh, Susan.
13:53You don't know how good it feels to finally be able to help you.
13:58You look so pale.
14:01Now, I insist you try some of my pie.
14:07Go on.
14:13Did I mention it's mincemeat?
14:20Open the door, please.
14:28Hang on.
14:30What?
14:31May I come in?
14:32No.
14:33Well, I want to talk to you.
14:34And talk.
14:36Where were you last night?
14:39Brian's.
14:40I just spoke to Brian's mother.
14:42Now, tell me again where you were last night, and this time don't lie to me.
14:44Where did you say Dad was again?
14:48In Philadelphia?
14:50Andrew, don't change the subject.
14:52I'm sorry.
14:52I thought the subject was telling lies.
14:55I called Dad's cell phone.
14:56I know he moved out.
14:59Well, it's just temporary, and...
15:02I thought it would upset you, so I was protecting you.
15:05Whatever.
15:06You lied, so...
15:06Start pretending like you have some sort of moral authority.
15:10Andrew, just because I chose not to share my marital problems with you does not give you the right to be rude.
15:14How about driving my father away?
15:16Do I get to be rude then?
15:17Do I get to be rude?
15:47Hi.
16:03What's this?
16:04It's a sock.
16:05It's a man's sock.
16:06I found it under a bed.
16:07It's not mine.
16:09Oh, for God's sakes, Carlos.
16:10It's Yao Lin's.
16:12Are Maidware size 13 gym socks?
16:14No, she dusts with them.
16:17It's like a gun.
16:22See?
16:23Socks instead of racks.
16:43Susan!
16:43Hello!
16:45Mrs. Huber.
16:48Did you and Mike come together?
16:49I saw him over in the fresh produce aisle.
16:51No, like I told you before, we're just friends.
16:57By the way, if I didn't make it clear yesterday, I absolutely did not do that thing you accused me of.
17:02Hey, Susan.
17:04Hey, Mrs. Huber.
17:06Nice to see you, Mike.
17:08Hey.
17:09You like Alfred Hitchcock?
17:11They're doing a retrospective down at the Rialto.
17:17Uh...
17:17I'm not really a fan.
17:21Oh, come on.
17:21How can you not like Hitchcock?
17:22I just, uh, don't.
17:29Oh.
17:31Okay.
17:33Well, uh, nice to see you.
17:36You too, Ms. Huber.
17:37You're so silly.
17:43Pretending not to like him on my account.
17:45I mean, really.
17:46Will you just drop it?
17:48You shouldn't be rude to me, Susan.
17:51Your secret is not an easy burden to bear.
17:53That insurance company is putting Edie through hell.
17:57But still, I've said nothing.
17:58Well...
17:59And the longer it takes for her to get payment, the longer she'll be staying with me.
18:04Eating me out of house and home.
18:06Using up my hot water.
18:09What exactly is it you want from me, Mrs. Huber?
18:19Uh, are these together?
18:23Bring it up.
18:41If the school and the pediatrician both think the twins could stand to be medicated, then what's the problem?
18:47I used to run a company with 85 people, and now I can't wrangle three small boys without doping them.
18:53Talk about feeling like a failure.
18:54Lynette, you are a great mother, but let's face it, your kids are...
18:59A challenge.
19:03That's the nicest way you could have said that.
19:05You know, the truth is, when they're not making me want to tear my hair out, they're actually really sweet.
19:10I'm afraid if I change the bad stuff, I'm going to change the good stuff.
19:14That's a tough call.
19:15Oh, like this mug.
19:18I love this mug.
19:19If I medicate them, are they still going to make me a mug like this?
19:23You know it's leaking.
19:26Yeah, I know.
19:28We talked to Paul.
19:32We told him we need to show him something.
19:34He's on his way over.
19:39So, Paul, we noticed that you're selling the house.
19:42Yes.
19:43Too many painful memories.
19:44I'm sure you understand.
19:45Well, before you move, we thought there was something you should know.
19:54It seems there may be more to Mary Alice's death than you were aware of.
19:59Oh?
20:01Remember when you asked us to pack her things?
20:03Well, when we did, we found a note.
20:05And we think that you should have it.
20:08You can see from the postmark, Mary Alice probably got it the day she died.
20:15Paul, are you going to be okay?
20:39No.
20:45Have you always cleaned with socks?
21:07Yes.
21:10Was that a Japanese thing?
21:12I am Chinese.
21:13I don't like lying.
21:24Yeah?
21:24Well, I don't like your ironing.
21:25So there.
21:42So, Louise, what are you doing here?
21:44Carlos found this under the bed.
21:46Oh, crap.
21:47It's okay.
21:48It's a close call that I managed to cover.
21:50I've got you these.
21:51So from now on, we can't let Carlos see you around the house wearing anything resembling a gym sock.
21:56You want me to mow your lawn in sandals?
21:59I'd lose a toe.
22:00Imagine what you would lose if Carlos finds out you're trimming more than the hedges.
22:05Why are your friends staring at me?
22:07Did you tell them about us?
22:10No.
22:12They're staring because they think you're hot.
22:14Oh.
22:16Okay.
22:22It's 9.30.
22:24What is your brother thinking?
22:26Want my advice?
22:27Call Dad.
22:28Go tell him to kick Andrew's ass.
22:29I am perfectly capable of handling this without your father.
22:32Sorry.
22:34Where's your cell phone?
22:37Call Andrew and find out where he is.
22:39Mom, he's going to know you're behind this.
22:40No, he won't.
22:41Just act normal.
22:42Hey, it's me.
22:47Uh, what's going on?
22:51He knows.
22:54Andrew, this is your mother.
22:56I am rapidly reaching the end of my patience with you.
23:00Where are you?
23:01Are you at a bar?
23:04Andrew.
23:05Andrew?
23:09Mom?
23:10He hung up on me.
23:12What are you going to do?
23:13What are you going to do?
23:42Oh, yeah.
23:59Keith?
24:00Ian?
24:02Andrew?
24:05Mom, how did you even know I was here?
24:06you went in my room you think that's bad tomorrow morning i'm cleaning it
24:14oh by the way heath i didn't get a chance to tell you that was a lovely solo last week at church
24:20thank you we're out of here i hope it wasn't something i said
24:26well andrew shall we
24:31you just humiliated me in front of my friends i'm not going anywhere with you
24:37fine
24:39what are you doing i'm staying for the show i'm dying to see what all the fuss is about
24:47excuse me waitress i'll have a glass of your house chardonnay
24:50i'm curious andrew as you fantasize about this woman
25:01do you ever stop and think how she came to be on this runway
25:05that's someone's little girl and that someone probably had a lot of dreams for her dreams that
25:10did not include a thong and a pole
25:13it's not gonna work okay i'm not budging god only knows what she's had to deal with in her life
25:18abject poverty drugs domestic violence maybe even molestation
25:23mom and now she treats herself the way other men treat her like an object a piece of meat
25:30that's that's it you get her out of here she's killing it for the rest
25:34of us
25:38we're not here and leave a message
25:43it's mrs hoover susan are you there i can see your lights are off i hope you're not
25:50screening that's so tacky listen i need to talk to you my water heater just burst and it's gonna
25:56cost me six hundred dollars to get a new one and i can't afford that i'm just beside myself
26:02call me as soon as you get in
26:10julie julianne wake up we need to talk can't this wait until morning
26:14i think i'm being blackmailed
26:19and when i realized i couldn't put out the fire i ran
26:23must have dropped the measuring cup in the process
26:26why do i even let you out of the house obviously i can't let her get away with this the only thing
26:29to do is go to the police and tell them what happened you can't do that julie i don't think
26:34they'll throw me in jail i mean it was an accident dad won't care if it was an accident
26:39you know he'll just use this as an excuse to reopen custody mom i don't want to live with dad
26:48i need to talk to you cool sure
27:10you were working tuesday right yeah you remember the cable guys showing up
27:17and usually work till what time five yeah damn it means he was in the house for four hours
27:27wait um you know now that i think about it i might not have seen him well either you saw
27:33or you didn't which is it i didn't
27:39john
27:42did my wife ask you to lie for her
27:45mr solis i i really don't want to get in the middle of anything
27:51thank you that's all i needed to know
28:05okay let's run through it one more time mom it's not brain surgery you'll stay on guard while
28:10i crawl through mrs hooper's doggy door once inside i'll find the measuring cup simple oh god i
28:15hate that i'm trying you into a little thief it's our measuring cup we're just taking back what's
28:21ours hey that's right ethically we have nothing to be ashamed about oh where are these i don't want
28:29you to leave fingerprints
28:36there she goes okay move oh so glad to be playing frisbee again here you go coming at
28:43you all right back up a little more there you go all right here we go oh my whoops you better go get that yeah
29:06mike seriously i thought that was you
29:08uh yeah julie and i are just out tossing the frisbee around and it flew off into mrs hooper's backyard
29:15oh you need some help no no no uh julie's got it okay actually i'm glad i ran into you i just
29:21wanted to make sure that things were okay between us the other day you seem kind of distant distant
29:25what do you mean i mean you're not mad at me for some reason are you no no no not at all
29:33good i'm gonna take one more shot at this i get tickets for a billy wilder retrospective
29:39wednesday night i'd love to take you with me you are so sweet i would love to go all right
29:53edie i thought you'd be at work i'm not feeling well i got a sunburn the other day washing my car
30:00well don't just uh run off come come and hang out with us boy you are one sick ticket what it's not
30:09bad enough that i have to watch you throw yourself at him every day and now you want to make sure that
30:13i see it up close and personal no it's not like that i'm gonna take off but i'll call you about
30:17wednesday night okay edie wait uh mike and i were gonna go see the movies on wednesday and i just thought
30:29it would be fun if you joined us you want me to come with you yeah yeah that's okay isn't it mike
30:37well it's a limited engagement and it's sold out i only got two tickets
30:42but edie wait um you should take my ticket
30:49really was that okay with you mike
30:52uh yeah sure so um what time do you want to pick me up
31:01what time do you want to pick me up
31:05well um
31:22hang on
31:23carlos couldn't help but feel proud of himself after all he just defended his honor
31:42or had he
31:53is
31:58are you gay yes is that why you're doing this
32:04yeah
32:04hey paul what's up i wanted to apologize for my outburst yesterday don't worry about it we unloaded a
32:24lot on you i suppose you're wondering why i reacted so violently to that note
32:28it did cross our minds well the truth is
32:33mary alice was not a well person she was very troubled troubled at first it was harmless she would
32:41leave herself notes reminders like pick up the milk or zach has a dentist appointment but over time the
32:47notes became ugly hateful messages started showing up mary alice was writing them to me to zach
32:52to herself really that's why i lost it i was reminded of what zach and i had been through
33:01i don't know
33:02paul i'm so sorry we had no idea
33:06well anyway uh i'd appreciate it if you kept this to yourselves
33:11yeah for zach's sake of course of course
33:15wow
33:20wow yeah
33:23i think he's lying
33:25so do i
33:38you
33:47you
33:47you
33:48you
33:48you
33:49you
33:49you
33:49you
33:51you
33:53you
33:55you
33:59boys could you get in here please
34:02he broke my plane
34:03did not
34:04we'll talk about that later right now i need you to take some medicine
34:07are we sick not exactly this is a special kind of medicine it's
34:11it's like a vitamin and you'll take it every day okay
34:18stay right there
34:27now open up
34:31here you guys
34:35guys this is what you've got here
34:43in that moment lynette made a decision
34:46when it came to dealing with her children medication was no longer an option
34:51i don't know
34:54of course given her continuing level of frustration
34:57lynette also felt a little self-medication couldn't hurt
35:01so what's your strategy are you just never gonna speak to me again
35:14something like that
35:20i suppose i do owe you an apology
35:22careful i don't want you to strain yourself
35:25i shouldn't have lied to you about your father
35:27you and your sister are old enough to handle the truth and i'm sorry
35:31keep going
35:33i'm mad at you for about seven thousand other things
35:35if you think i'm going to apologize for taking you out of a strip club you're wrong
35:39i consider it one of my finest moments
35:47oh andrew
35:49i know you blame me for what's happening with your father but
35:53it's not entirely my fault and i need you to understand that
35:59i do
36:01i just don't want him to leave
36:09either do i
36:14mom
36:15yeah
36:17when can i have my door back
36:23three months
36:25royal oaks was the scene of a hate crime today when jonathan lisco local gay activist and part-time
36:30female impersonator was brutally attacked in his home
36:34lisco speculated the attack was in response to his efforts to secure same-sex partner insurance
36:39coverage from his employer cliffside cable police are circulating this sketch of the assailant
36:45i have to say you know the searchers have to speak for themselves i've taken a strong stand
36:49with my company there's something you want to ask me
36:54no
37:03you took it didn't you
37:12good evening mrs hooper it's my own fault for not hiding the cup
37:16obviously if you're capable of arson i should have known you'd be capable of breaking and entering
37:19i don't know what you're talking about mrs hooper i suppose you destroyed it
37:26again i don't know what you're talking about but yeah i did
37:32i was going to keep your secret it's a shame you couldn't trust me
37:37you're a piece of work you know that oh susan let's not be unpleasant we can go back to the same
37:45friendly relationship we've always had
37:49i will keep my lawn looking nice and i will make sure that my music isn't played too loud and if i
37:55get some of your mail heck i'll run it right over because that's what good neighbors do
38:00but from now on when i run into you on the street and i say good morning mrs hooper or how are you mrs hooper
38:07sooper just know that inside i am quietly but decidedly hating your guts
38:17careful dear let's not say things will lift a regret
38:24good evening mrs hooper
38:26he actually said mary ellis was crazy not in so many words but everything paul said certainly made
38:41it seem like she was schizophrenic i think he's hiding something i know it but wait what about
38:46the tape i mean she did say that her name was angela mary ellis was not crazy well my father was a
38:53prosecutor and he always said that the simplest explanation was usually the right one but remember
38:57what the note said i know what you did it makes me sick and i'm going to tell that's not the kind
39:02of thing someone writes to themselves that's a message sent by an enemy
39:15so exactly what is it you hired me to do it's very simple really someone sent that note to my wife
39:24and i need to know who
39:27what type of person would send such a note was it an enemy of course but what kind an acquaintance
39:38a stranger or how about a neighbor that lives a few feet away
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