Silence In The Sheets | DISC 5: Restoration | 411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines (Episode 17) - video Dailymotion

Lerin Gaines

Silence In The Sheets | DISC 5: Restoration | 411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines (Episode 17)   Featuring: Wine Down Wednesday, Mentorship Series   05.21.25 | 7:00 PM EST   Streaming LIVE on all social media platforms @LERINGAINES   https://leringaines.com  https://linktr.ee/leringaines  https://www.facebook.com/leringaines  http://instagram.com/leringaines  https://www.tiktok.com/@leringaines  http://twitter.com/leringaines  https://www.youtube.com/@leringaines  https://www.twitch.tv/leringaines  https://dlive.tv/LerinGaines  https://dailymotion.com/LerinGaines   Song of The Day: "Whenever You're Around" by Jill Scott  Released 2007 | The Real Thing: Words and Sounds Vol. 3   Burning Questions: Can love truly thrive when communication is silenced by financial strain - and are we willing to have the uncomfortable conversations that bring us closer?   I would love to hear from you! Share your response to tonight's Burning Questions:   Text: (609) 200-1098 | Email: Info@LerinGaines.com   DM on any social media platform @LERINGAINES (Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok, YouTube, DLIVE, Twitch, DailyMotion)   Sign up for my FREE Monthly Newsletter 'Whispers of Wisdom' for updates, exclusives, and inspiration!   Subscribe now at LerinGaines.com   #Facebook #Instagram #TikTok #X #YouTube #DLIVE #Twitch #DailyMotion #ParentalAdvisory #ExplicitContent #LerinGaines #411Podcast #RBTW #ReadingBetweenTheWines #BurningQuestions #BlackDiamondConsultations #VacationWithMe #WhispersofWisdom #DISC5 #Restoration   DISCLAIMER: The content and information provided by Black Diamond Consultations are intended solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We do not guarantee the accuracy or completeness of the materials, and any reliance you place on them is strictly at your own risk. Our content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice or judgment. Black Diamond Consultations shall not be liable for any errors or omissions in the educational and entertainment content or for any actions taken based on the information provided.   411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines  DISC 5: Restoration  Track 17: Silence In The Sheets  ©️ 2025 Black Diamond Consultations Network  LerinGaines.com

Transcript

00:03:30Welcome, welcome, welcome.

00:03:55Welcome on in.

00:03:56Welcome to Reading Between the Lines.

00:03:59What's going on, everybody?

00:04:00How you doing?

00:04:01It is Wednesday, May 21st.

00:04:05Welcome to Wine Down Wednesday.

00:04:08But before we go ahead and get into tonight's show, I want to go ahead and give a very special

00:04:14thank you to my executive producer.

00:04:17Thank you, God, for giving me another opportunity to come out here and do this Reading Between

00:04:22the Lines show.

00:04:23And I also want to thank each and every one of you out there.

00:04:27Thank you so much for the people who are out there joining in tonight.

00:04:30Thank you so much to the people out there who watch the replays.

00:04:33Thank you so much to everyone who comes through and whether you like, comment, share, subscribe,

00:04:39tag a friend.

00:04:40If you retweet anything, I just want to say thank you so much.

00:04:44So for those of you out there who are listening tonight, if you can please just hit that like

00:04:50button, share, invite a friend in, because you never know what you're going to get on

00:04:56the show tonight.

00:04:58Now I will say that these past couple episodes, they have been interesting.

00:05:07They have been interesting to say the least.

00:05:11And it looks like we're getting ready to go there again tonight.

00:05:14So track 17.

00:05:26Let's see if we can restore it again.

00:05:53So we had Miss Keisha from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, and Keisha had issues with struggling with

00:06:03body image.

00:06:05And also, instead of dealing with her situation, she tend to cover things up by purchasing

00:06:15clothes and avoiding looking at herself in the mirror, avoiding dealing with herself

00:06:21and just covering things up.

00:06:22And her bills were just piling up and she wants to feel special.

00:06:27She wants to feel beautiful.

00:06:29She wants to feel herself again, but she isn't doing what she needs to do to take care of

00:06:35the root cause.

00:06:36So yeah, it was pretty, I want to say pretty direct conversation last night around this

00:06:46specific synopsis that we dealt with last night with Keisha.

00:06:50So we gave her tons of, I'll say that I gave my personal opinion as far as her situation,

00:07:03but I also did give my opinion to everyone out there.

00:07:07If you are using your credit card and you don't have the means to pay it at the end

00:07:13of the month, back that up clearly swiping, charging, using your credit card, knowing

00:07:20that you don't have enough money at the end of the month to pay for the full bill.

00:07:24And you probably might be walking around as if you're just going to pay the minimum payment.

00:07:30That's a sign for disaster.

00:07:32So anyone out there, if you didn't catch last night's show, I strongly urge you to head

00:07:39on over there.

00:07:40If you might be someone who uses a credit card, knowing full well that you don't have

00:07:46the means to pay a month, you're setting yourself up for disaster.

00:07:50So we helped Keisha out last night.

00:07:53So if you are interested in that, go ahead and watch that replay from last night.

00:08:00And like I said, it has been a couple of interesting nights and we keep getting deeper.

00:08:08We keep getting deeper.

00:08:09The synopsis are becoming more and more interesting.

00:08:16These are real life situations that we're dealing with here.

00:08:19So I'm just letting you know, we're getting ready to go there tonight.

00:08:22So you might want to stick around.

00:08:24Song of the Day, Whenever You're Around by Jill Scott, released in 2007 off of The Real

00:08:31Thing, Words and Sounds, Volume 3.

00:08:35Jill Scott has so many albums.

00:08:37Let's just spend a little bit on Jill Scott.

00:08:38I love Jill Scott.

00:08:40And I particularly love this song because I love the music, the instrumental of it.

00:08:47And when you start to get into the words, that's a whole nother story.

00:08:50So for those of you out there who are in relationships, you might want to pay attention to this tonight

00:08:55because I'll tell you that the number one killer in relationships, the number one killer

00:09:01in marriages is basically what we're going to be speaking about here tonight.

00:09:06So I'm not in the business of making anyone do anything.

00:09:10I'm not here to persuade anybody.

00:09:12I'm not here to make anyone feel a certain way.

00:09:15I would strongly urge you all to take the information that you get tonight and do your

00:09:21own research after the show's over.

00:09:24Do your own due diligence.

00:09:26I'm not here to give anybody advice.

00:09:28So I'm changing the word and twisting it around and I'm just giving my opinion.

00:09:33And I don't know who I'm speaking to, but I'm just speaking from real life experiences.

00:09:37That's all it is, lived experiences.

00:09:39I'm not here to tell anybody how to live their life.

00:09:42If I was in these particular people's shoes, and in some cases I was in some of these situations,

00:09:49this is just basically how I would do it.

00:09:51I'm not telling you how to do it.

00:09:54But I can respect songs like Jill Scott whenever you're around.

00:09:58And also I want to take it to Jasmine Sullivan, In Love With Another Man, as opposed to when

00:10:06we find out on the other aspect, like Drew Hill, In My Bed, Creep, TLC.

00:10:15When you speak the truth to your spouse, your significant other, your boyfriend, your girlfriend,

00:10:20whoever, I just hope that they're paying attention.

00:10:23Because it takes a very special individual to be able to go up to you and say, listen,

00:10:27whenever you're around, I'm not feeling this way anymore.

00:10:29I'm feeling a certain way.

00:10:31It's not like it used to be in the beginning, because in the beginning, the fireworks were

00:10:36going off.

00:10:37Now I feel lonely.

00:10:39I feel whatever the case may be.

00:10:42Jill breaks it down in this record.

00:10:44So as opposed to finding out that somebody else is sleeping in your bed like Drew Hill,

00:10:49or maybe you have expressed how you felt during your alone time together.

00:10:58It's not popping off the way it used to.

00:11:00And then after you have bumped your head up against the wall a thousand times, and you've

00:11:05said your piece over and over and over again, maybe that's where the creeping starts.

00:11:11Maybe that's where all of the backwards type situations happen.

00:11:15I'm not saying that that's the right thing to do, because I feel that if something isn't

00:11:19right, then you should obviously speak your truth, speak the truth.

00:11:26And if things don't work, you have an obligation to yourself.

00:11:31You can get up and take responsibility for yourself and your life and remove yourself

00:11:35from the situation before you cause any type of hurt, damage, pain, trauma to somebody

00:11:40else.

00:11:42So I give credit to Jasmine Sullivan.

00:11:44I give credit to Jill Scott, especially from the way that she speaks.

00:11:48If you don't know the song, Whenever You're Around by Jill Scott, she's basically laying

00:11:52it down and wants to fix it.

00:11:56But then also letting you know, you know what?

00:11:59Somebody else is in my ear.

00:12:01Somebody else is paying me so much attention.

00:12:03Somebody else is making me feel special because you ain't.

00:12:08So no one should be.

00:12:11I want to make sure I got this right.

00:12:13No one should be subjected, if that's even correct, to any type of half-assed type of

00:12:22love affairs, because it wasn't like that in the beginning in a relationship.

00:12:27And sometimes we get comfortable and it's not exciting the way it used to be in the

00:12:32beginning.

00:12:33You know, who wants any type of lukewarm situation and who wants to settle for that?

00:12:39So I'm not here to persuade anybody one way or the other.

00:12:42But after we get into tonight's scenario, you're going to understand that both individuals

00:12:49deserve better.

00:12:50And if you're in this situation where whenever you're around your significant other, you

00:12:56just don't feel the way it used to be, you don't feel exciting anymore.

00:13:00It doesn't feel like it's love anymore.

00:13:03You don't even know who you are anymore.

00:13:05You don't do the same things that you used to do.

00:13:07You don't go to the same places that you used to go before.

00:13:10But the same way that you got that person, you have to continuously do the...

00:13:16Not saying you got to do exactly the same, but you got to spice it up, you got to keep

00:13:19things exciting.

00:13:20You can't be boring.

00:13:22For example, if you met them in a club, I don't suggest that, but if you met them in

00:13:29a club, most likely they're not going to want to stay home and do nothing all the time.

00:13:35You might have tamed that beast a little bit, but maybe they might want to go out every

00:13:39now and then.

00:13:40Okay, so if you met them in the streets, what you think is going to happen?

00:13:47You know what they say about how you can't turn into a housewife.

00:13:52I mean, that's just one scenario.

00:13:55If you met them in the street, what you think is going to be?

00:14:00But remember, whatever your scenario is, again, I'm not here to judge.

00:14:04I'm not here to say anything.

00:14:07You deserve better.

00:14:09Life is too short.

00:14:11No one should be unhappy in any type of situation.

00:14:16Let them know.

00:14:17Be a Jill Scott.

00:14:18Be a Jasmine Sullivan.

00:14:20Let them know.

00:14:23Let them know right off the bat, and remember, when you realize that you deserve better and

00:14:32you understand and you understand that you deserve better, just remember everything starts

00:14:38with self.

00:14:39Love yourself first and set these expectations and these boundaries in the beginning so that

00:14:42people know what to expect because we teach people how to love us.

00:14:47So if you don't set these expectations and these boundaries in the beginning and you

00:14:53allow one step over the line, two steps, three steps, it's going to be very hard to back

00:14:58that thing up.

00:14:59So I'm going to day whenever you're around by Jill Scott.

00:15:08Now we're going to get into this wine tonight, and I just want to let you know what's going

00:15:14on here.

00:15:16It's a very cold.

00:15:20It's a very dreary type of situation here in New Jersey.

00:15:25Some reasons why I don't like living in New Jersey, I'm just keeping it real.

00:15:33I don't like living in New Jersey.

00:15:35I'll come back to visit in the summertime when the temperatures are where it needs to

00:15:39be, but right now it's the end of May and it is about 50 degrees right about now, and

00:15:45I was thinking of sampling some nice, you know, rosé, you know, some white wine, but

00:15:54I had the feeling of I need to go back to red wine tonight.

00:15:57I was like digging into the Cabernets and looking at things like that, so I picked something

00:16:03that's sort of in the middle.

00:16:05It's a red wine, but it's like a summer vibe, but I got to be honest with you, I'm really

00:16:10not feeling this weather tonight.

00:16:12So I picked the Sangria.

00:16:15It's a red, but it's really, you know, the right type of vibe for this time of year,

00:16:21except I don't know what's going on with Mother Nature, and yeah, it's 50 degrees and

00:16:26raining and downpouring and everything else.

00:16:28So I also believe that I've sampled this wine one time before back in the day, but I can't

00:16:36quite remember.

00:16:37This is Sangria Grande.

00:16:40It is 11.5% alcohol volume, and for some reason I think I tried this before and it was really,

00:16:48really either sweet or super strong.

00:16:52So it's nothing special about this wine.

00:16:53It's in a, you know, regular old bottle, and it's bottled in New York, and it is made from

00:17:04100% Merlot grapes.

00:17:08And they say to serve it chilled, which I did chill it, and I also poured it over ice

00:17:13because that was the recommendation.

00:17:15And it's red wine with natural fruit flavors, full-bodied imported red wine for the ultimate

00:17:20taste experience, and it also makes a great party punch.

00:17:25Just add fresh fruit.

00:17:28So I don't have the fresh fruit, but I most certainly did pour it over ice, and I don't

00:17:34know much about this wine.

00:17:36When I did my research, there's about, out of five stars, this gets about a 3.8, and

00:17:43it is from the New York region.

00:17:45And one of the reviews says, super fruity and delicious, lots of berry flavor, amazing

00:17:51on ice with an additional hint of little brandy.

00:17:55So I guess they added brandy in their wine.

00:17:59When I used to make Sangria for barbecues and stuff, when I used to, you know, host

00:18:04parties and stuff at my house, it was like the ultimate disaster because I would mix

00:18:13up all types of red wines together, and I would pour all types of vodka and anything

00:18:21I could find in the house.

00:18:23And let me tell you, by the time people got done sipping one glass of this Sangria that

00:18:29I used to make, they could barely walk.

00:18:32So that was the experience that I used to do back in the day with my Sangria.

00:18:40And it probably doesn't fit well with tonight's show because we're going to find out as we

00:18:45get into the show later on, but I just felt like I had to put that out there.

00:18:49It's one of these wacky days today because of the weather, and this is how I'm feeling.

00:18:53So cheers.

00:18:55And we're going to go ahead and get Mr. Birdman 313 in while I go ahead and sample this wine

00:19:02here, and I'll get back to you and let you know exactly what we feel about this wine.

00:19:15I will say that putting it over ice probably helped because I can't imagine what it would

00:19:22be if I actually did not put it over ice, and I believe I did taste this before back

00:19:27in the day, and I wasn't really a fan.

00:19:31So this one, yeah, I'm going to go along with the 3.8.

00:19:36It's sort of like right in the middle.

00:19:38Would I get this one again?

00:19:41Absolutely not.

00:19:42And you definitely do need the ice to make this work because drinking it directly out

00:19:47of a bottle is not recommended at all.

00:19:50So I can understand with adding things to it like fruit and others, but yeah.

00:19:55So cheers, everybody.

00:19:57This is a mediocre wine tasting here tonight.

00:20:00I'm not really feeling the wine, but we're going to get through it tonight.

00:20:04And with that being said, Birdman 313, what's going on?

00:20:09How are you doing?

00:20:10Hey, how's it going?

00:20:11Hey, you're a funny guy tonight, man.

00:20:17It's the weather.

00:20:18It's the weather that's doing it to me.

00:20:19Oh, well, you know, I'm trying to push some of this weather up that way.

00:20:23You know, I mean, it's in the 90s here.

00:20:26Well, this is exactly why my time is limited in the state of New Jersey.

00:20:33Yes, yes, yes.

00:20:34And it's all right, though, you know, because it started cooling off around the evening

00:20:40time, like down to the 80s.

00:20:42But you know, we're down to the 80s, that's exactly what it is.

00:20:50So far, we're not getting any rain.

00:20:53That's a blessing.

00:20:54But I know when the rain do come, man, they come.

00:20:58Listen, you said down in the 80s, that's exactly where I want to be.

00:21:04At nighttime, walking around with flip flops on, you got your basketball shorts on, you

00:21:11got your T-shirt on, just able to walk around out there.

00:21:15And I bet that heat feels amazing.

00:21:18I don't know where you're going to walk at around here at that time.

00:21:21But yeah, yeah, you know, it is.

00:21:25Why?

00:21:26What will happen at night in Texas?

00:21:28Oh, man, you know, you know, you know, the, oh, you know, the song, The Freaks come out

00:21:32at night.

00:21:33Oh, it's like that?

00:21:35Oh, yes, like that.

00:21:37Oh, wow, that's crazy.

00:21:41When I was in California, and it was like 9, 10 o'clock at night, and you look at the

00:21:47temperature, and it's like 85 degrees, oh, man, I love that.

00:21:52Yeah, but when you're down in Galveston, you know, if you're on the beach, you know, it's

00:21:56cool then, but, you know, like in the city, it's just some areas you do not walk around

00:22:06when it gets dark.

00:22:07Oh, you're going to get robbed and everything else?

00:22:10Oh, man, yeah, yeah, all kinds of things can happen, you know, so.

00:22:14Oh, well, before I get to Texas, I need you to, you know, school me on what areas are

00:22:19good and what's not, because that's nothing else.

00:22:25I need to know.

00:22:26Wow, that's crazy.

00:22:27You know, no, you will fit in with your program.

00:22:30You'll probably fit in good in Austin.

00:22:33I want to go where it's most hot.

00:22:35Oh, well, hey, man, well, you need to go to Brownsville then.

00:22:41Yeah, I don't know.

00:22:43I've never been there.

00:22:44I just know it gets hot down there, but, you know, and they also get a lot of storms.

00:22:48So I mean, the whole, well, anything below Dallas, because, you know, Dallas gets snow

00:22:56in the wintertime.

00:22:58Oh, that's crazy.

00:23:01Yeah.

00:23:02Yeah.

00:23:03You know, we get snow every once in a while, but, you know, anything below Dallas is normally

00:23:12is good to go.

00:23:13You'll have like maybe a week or two where it's cold.

00:23:18And oh, I could deal with that just a week.

00:23:21Yeah.

00:23:22Yeah.

00:23:23OK.

00:23:24Yeah, that's not bad.

00:23:26A week or two where it's cold versus, you know, three, four months here.

00:23:31And then it act like you don't want to leave.

00:23:35That's what we deal with three or four months, maybe even more than that of where it's cold.

00:23:40And then it acts like it doesn't want to leave.

00:23:42And then out of nowhere, it'll just become hot out of nowhere.

00:23:45It's like there's no in between.

00:23:47It's either one or the other.

00:23:48Yeah.

00:23:49Well, you know here.

00:23:50Well, that's way sometimes it feels like that way here.

00:23:54You know, you know, you don't have no autumn.

00:23:56It goes right straight from hot to cold.

00:23:59Then you don't have no spring and it goes from, you know, cold to hot.

00:24:05So and so some people, some people will say there's no change of season in the state of

00:24:12Texas.

00:24:13Hmm.

00:24:14Hmm.

00:24:15But that depends on what you mean change.

00:24:19I mean, I see the leaves fall to see them changing colors, but I know what they're talking

00:24:24about as far as, you know, heat wise.

00:24:26Right.

00:24:27Right.

00:24:28Right.

00:24:29All right.

00:24:30Well, we will see, because Texas is definitely on my next list of places to be.

00:24:35Oh, yeah.

00:24:36Oh, yeah.

00:24:37Oh, yeah.

00:24:38You know, you don't have to hit me up to man.

00:24:40Yeah, definitely going to be in that desert somewhere.

00:24:43Yeah.

00:24:44Yeah.

00:24:45All right.

00:24:47So we got an interesting show tonight.

00:24:51I said the past couple of nights it has been one after another where, yeah, it's been been

00:24:59out there and this one's probably going to fit right on into it as well.

00:25:02So I was trying to find a book that made sense for tonight's and I was coming across an issue.

00:25:11So we're going to be helping out a couple, which we'll get into that shortly.

00:25:17So the book that I came up with and I realized that I have changed my library around completely,

00:25:24so which makes sense.

00:25:26But the book I have tonight is called Money Hacks, 275 Ways to Decrease Spending, Increase

00:25:32Saving and Make Your Money Work for You.

00:25:35So this is all going to tie in and it's all going to make sense once we get, you know,

00:25:41to the next segment.

00:25:42But Money Hacks is going to be for this couple and you all are going to find out exactly

00:25:48what we're going to get into.

00:25:49Just think about when we opened up the show with Jill Scott, whenever you're around, we

00:25:54get ready to get into something.

00:25:55So this couple definitely is going to need some help.

00:25:58So give me a number.

00:26:01Maybe we can give this couple some money hacks that they can get their situations together.

00:26:07We're going to start with 15.

00:26:10Let's see here.

00:26:12I haven't even had much wine tonight, neither.

00:26:15So I can't blame it on that.

00:26:17We're going to start with 12 and we're going to go up to, let's say, 249, 12 to 249.

00:26:26You give me a number.

00:26:28OK, I'm going to say 19.

00:26:3119, that's a good one.

00:26:3319.

00:26:34I wonder if you can relate to 19.

00:26:37Let's see.

00:26:38Yes, I can.

00:26:41That is my better half's birthday, June 19th.

00:26:45So I'll use 19.

00:26:47All right.

00:26:48That's what's up.

00:26:4919th is hack number nine, aim for zero.

00:26:54Want to fix a problem?

00:26:56Aim for zero.

00:26:57Want to fix a problem?

00:26:59Aim for zero.

00:27:01Number nine, aim for zero.

00:27:04Want to feel even more in control of your money each month?

00:27:07Try using a zero base budget.

00:27:10With this method, every single dollar you bring home each month gets allocated to a

00:27:15particular category.

00:27:16The goal is to make your expenses for the month match your income to the penny.

00:27:22That doesn't mean you should spend every penny you make.

00:27:24It means that every penny is accounted for and assigned to a budget category.

00:27:30You still determine how much money you want to go towards savings, credit card payments,

00:27:35student loan payments, eating out, and gifts.

00:27:39This method ensures that there aren't underspending in areas that are priorities to you, like

00:27:45transferring money to savings or giving to charity, while also giving you strict limits

00:27:51for those discretionary categories you're not as good at predicting each month, like

00:27:56groceries or entertainment.

00:27:59If you find your total for the month comes to something below zero instead of zero exactly,

00:28:06you'll have to decide which category to adjust in order to hit that magic number.

00:28:11Working out the math can take time, and it might seem daunting, but if you want a strong

00:28:18foundation for your finances, it's worth trying.

00:28:21Be prepared to reallocate funds as needed throughout the month to maintain that perfect

00:28:27zero.

00:28:29It's also a good idea to leave any leftover funds in a miscellaneous category for your

00:28:35first few tries to provide a safety net just in case.

00:28:40So again, it's the same concept over and over again, if anyone's listening.

00:28:47Budgeting.

00:28:48Most people run away from a budget.

00:28:50We spoke about this plenty of nights.

00:28:54I ran away from a budget for years, and it was a complete disaster.

00:28:58I didn't know anything about it.

00:28:59I was just nervous and afraid.

00:29:02When I heard the word and the term budget, it just made me go into a different direction.

00:29:07But now that I know what a budget is, I don't believe that I can operate without using one.

00:29:14So it's like once you know this information, you know it and you can't, at least for me.

00:29:20Again, I can't speak for anybody else, but do you think that would help this couple tonight?

00:29:27Because I know you know what the scenario is.

00:29:29Yeah.

00:29:30Yes.

00:29:31And no.

00:29:32It just depends.

00:29:33No.

00:29:34Yeah.

00:29:35No.

00:29:36I know the scenario and I thought about this a lot of yes and no involved in it.

00:29:42So yes, it can.

00:29:45But no, if they don't talk about it.

00:29:49Hmm.

00:29:50That makes sense.

00:29:52I know exactly what you're talking about.

00:29:55Well, without any further ado, let's get on into it and see.

00:30:00So we have Lionel and Mariah and not Mariah Carey, just Lionel, Mariah, not Lionel, Lionel

00:30:09Richie and Mariah Carey in Kansas City, Missouri, and in their 40s, Lionel was a real estate

00:30:20agent and Mariah is a paralegal.

00:30:23This couple has slowly drifted apart.

00:30:25They share a bed, a mortgage and $75,000 in debt, but barely talk.

00:30:33Their romance disappeared under the weight of bills and responsibility.

00:30:39Now wine is their only moment of connection at night.

00:30:44So I'm going to turn it over to you because as I read this here, I'll read it one more

00:30:48time and turn it over to you.

00:30:49There's a lot of things going on here.

00:30:51And if you just look at the surface and you go really quick, you can miss some potential

00:30:56disasters that are here.

00:30:59So the couple has slowly drifted apart.

00:31:03They share a bed, a mortgage and $75,000 in debt, but barely talk.

00:31:08Their romance disappeared under the weight of bills and responsibility.

00:31:13Now wine is their only moment of connection at night.

00:31:18What do you think of this?

00:31:19Well, to me, like I said, you saying that their romance has disappeared and then you

00:31:28said their only connection is wine.

00:31:31Huh.

00:31:32Okay.

00:31:33Right there.

00:31:34That's a bad combination.

00:31:38That's a bad combination because they're taking alcohol again and they're masking their true

00:31:45problems.

00:31:48My question is, do they have any kids?

00:31:52That's a good point.

00:31:53And you said that they are $75,000 in debt.

00:32:00And you said they don't really talk no more.

00:32:02So all that right there constitute a bad situation and they may just be living together because

00:32:13neither one of them can move out on their own.

00:32:15Wow.

00:32:16Wow.

00:32:17I didn't think about that.

00:32:18And also, you said, since the romance has died down, do they even love each other?

00:32:29That's the way I look at it.

00:32:33I can say this is from a voice of experience.

00:32:39Like I tell people a lot of times, if I tell you something, it's because of my experience.

00:32:46But also, you might want to look into these things happening to you.

00:32:54That's how I feel it is.

00:32:58They seem like they both have good jobs.

00:33:01They need to cut back on their spending too, because it seems like they're living a lavish

00:33:06lifestyle.

00:33:07They're living more than what they're bringing home.

00:33:11And that can add on to the debt also.

00:33:16Yeah, I see that.

00:33:20We got a real estate agent and a paralegal.

00:33:23There's decent jobs.

00:33:24There's definitely nothing wrong with that situation there.

00:33:29So that would based on.

00:33:34And how did they get in debt anyway?

00:33:37That's why I'm saying they need to cut back on their spending.

00:33:40But how did they get into debt this much?

00:33:45Yeah.

00:33:46Again, we only know just a brief overview, but that is a good question.

00:33:53Because if both of them are working and a real estate agent and a paralegal in this

00:33:57day and age, they should be able to maintain.

00:34:01And as far as the love, is it possible he has a side piece?

00:34:06Is it possible she has a side piece?

00:34:09I mean, that's where the money is going to.

00:34:16And all of that comes into play.

00:34:21Yeah, yeah.

00:34:24Something's happening.

00:34:25There's another question.

00:34:26Both share a.

00:34:29And you know what?

00:34:31It says a couple.

00:34:33Now it doesn't say that they were necessarily married.

00:34:36They might just be a couple.

00:34:38So we don't even know if they're married.

00:34:40OK.

00:34:41That's a good point there.

00:34:44Couple.

00:34:45But I'm quite sure, you know, if they share in the same bed, you know, and maybe maybe

00:34:53the love just unfaded away for both of them.

00:34:57That has a lot to do with it, because, you know, I mean, hey, you know, love can fade

00:35:02from, you know, some of the little antics that people play.

00:35:08Yeah.

00:35:09And you don't know how, you know, and then, you know, like if they try to talk about it,

00:35:14do it, do it.

00:35:15Does it come into an argument every time they try to talk about it?

00:35:20You know, like I said, do they have kids?

00:35:24Because maybe they don't want to talk about this in front of their kids.

00:35:30And so then at nighttime, they drink some wine and by then neither one of them really

00:35:37want to talk.

00:35:38They just want to go to sleep because they both had to get up and go to work the next

00:35:42day.

00:35:43And they probably drinking that good old red wine that made you want to go to sleep.

00:35:48Yeah, yeah, but it's a little bit more to it than that.

00:35:56Just that, like I said, you know, with everything that you're saying in this, there's a little

00:36:03bit more, but it's something that's very small that that that's making all this happen.

00:36:10Like I said, their expense, you know, how was they living?

00:36:15How was they?

00:36:16Was they living that lavish lifestyle?

00:36:19Was they living what they were trying to?

00:36:20Or were they, you know, like trying to impress their friends like she, you know, like her

00:36:25going to the nail shop, going to the, you know, beauty parlor, him going to the barbershops

00:36:32and want nice vehicles, all that stuff come into play.

00:36:37Yeah, yeah, I agree.

00:36:41I totally agree.

00:36:45The couple has slowly drifted apart.

00:36:47They share a bed, a mortgage and seventy five thousand dollars in debt, but barely talk

00:36:53that right there.

00:36:55That's enough to make me just like lose it.

00:36:59You're sharing a bed and you got a big old mortgage.

00:37:06Seventy five thousand dollars worth of debt, and now we ain't going to speak about it.

00:37:10I believe that that is the number one problem in relationships and that leads to divorce

00:37:17and separation and breakups is because we're dealing with financial avoidance here.

00:37:22When there's a problem, you're avoiding it and you're not discussing it.

00:37:26And that's an issue.

00:37:28And it's a problem when you have couples, because one person might be on point.

00:37:35We don't know this whole story.

00:37:37One person might be on point trying to get out of debt, but the other person could be

00:37:42digging the hole even deeper.

00:37:44I was just on a conference call today, a financial conference call, and one of the financial

00:37:52coaches spoke up.

00:37:53And that's exactly what's going on in his scenario, is that he's trying to help a couple.

00:37:59And one of them is dealing with financial avoidance, where they just black out and do

00:38:04whatever they want to do, spend all kinds of crazy money.

00:38:08And then the husband is trying to pull this together, but she doesn't want to listen.

00:38:13So yeah, it's very hard to move past something when you have someone going against you.

00:38:20I don't know who I'm talking to, but I'm just speaking from experience.

00:38:23And I'll tell you one thing.

00:38:24I'll never do that again.

00:38:25Yeah.

00:38:26Yes.

00:38:27Go ahead.

00:38:28Go ahead.

00:38:29Go ahead.

00:38:30Try me.

00:38:31No, I'm just saying yes.

00:38:32Yes.

00:38:33Go ahead.

00:38:34Yeah.

00:38:35Yeah.

00:38:36Yeah.

00:38:37Yeah.

00:38:38Yeah.

00:38:39Yeah.

00:38:40Yeah.

00:38:41Yeah.

00:38:42Yeah.

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00:39:00Yeah.

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00:39:07Yeah.

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00:59:25Yeah.

00:59:26Yeah.

00:59:27Yeah.

00:59:29Appreciate it.

00:59:31That was some that was good.

00:59:33That put you at the top of the track right there, I love it.

00:59:37So you know how it you know, I know that you talking about it but it's

00:59:39all no communication, right?

00:59:40The communication.

00:59:41Can love truly thrive when communication is silenced by financial

00:59:43strain.

00:59:44And are we willing to have the uncomfortable conversations that bring

00:59:46us closer.

00:59:49Bird man, what do you think

00:59:50I feel about that situation there.

00:59:53Yeah, they say no is a complete sentence.

00:59:55So now, do you think that majority of people

01:00:01are willing to have uncomfortable conversations?

01:00:07You know what, it depends.

01:00:09I'm gonna put it like this.

01:00:1130 and under, no.

01:00:1435 and up, okay.

01:00:17They may sit down and try and give it a try.

01:00:21But that's how I feel about it.

01:00:23If it's 30 and under, no.

01:00:26They don't wanna hear that.

01:00:27They don't wanna hear nothing you got to say.

01:00:29And sometimes they'll just tell you,

01:00:30I don't wanna hear nothing you got to say.

01:00:33But 35 and up, we may can get a conversation

01:00:38every once in a while to see if we can work it out.

01:00:42But it has to be somebody that's mature too.

01:00:47So that's my answer there.

01:00:51Yeah, I agree with you.

01:00:53Can true love, true love.

01:00:55Can love truly thrive when communication is silenced

01:00:58by financial strain?

01:01:00I would say no.

01:01:01I don't believe that you are living your best life

01:01:05and you're really loving each other

01:01:08the way that you possibly can

01:01:09when you're in a whole bunch of debt and nonsense.

01:01:12What type of, now that I know today,

01:01:17I wanna say what type of love is that?

01:01:18But when you don't know any better

01:01:20and you think that that's what love really is.

01:01:23I feel sorry for people when you don't know any better

01:01:26and you think that that's what love really is.

01:01:28Struggling, going along with,

01:01:34that's when people settle.

01:01:36And I almost got caught up in that situation.

01:01:40So I feel for you.

01:01:43Anybody out there, all I have to say

01:01:45is that you don't have to live that way.

01:01:47You know, I'm gonna say something.

01:01:49I remember when I first moved here

01:01:52and a friend of mine, he was getting me into the DJ.

01:01:56And I would go to this club to DJ and everything.

01:01:59And it was this lady and she was an older lady, she was.

01:02:03And she came over and asked me to dance.

01:02:06She said, well, it don't look like you gonna come

01:02:08and ask me.

01:02:09I said, I just got here.

01:02:11So I'm just looking around.

01:02:14And she had a wedding ring on.

01:02:17And then she twisted it around.

01:02:20So we danced one time, I went to sit down

01:02:23and my friend that was getting me off into it,

01:02:25he called me over and he said, man, be careful.

01:02:28He said, this chick is a married woman.

01:02:32And I'm like, really?

01:02:33He said, yeah, but she always telling people,

01:02:36different guys, how unhappy she is.

01:02:39And she's just tired of it.

01:02:42And that's why she come to the club.

01:02:45And then I'm like, thank you for that.

01:02:49Sure enough, her husband walked in.

01:02:51He never walked over to it.

01:02:53He was watching.

01:02:54I quit talking to her.

01:02:55She got to talk to another guy.

01:02:57That's when he busted in.

01:03:00Wow, wow, that is a cop.

01:03:03Wow.

01:03:04That's so funny.

01:03:06And my dad always told me, he said, look here,

01:03:11you're in that situation.

01:03:13Boy, he said, he said, get yourself out of that.

01:03:16He said, you don't need that.

01:03:18And I'm like, yeah, even my mom would tell me that

01:03:21because she knew, she said, you know that woman Mary,

01:03:25but I know she want to talk to you.

01:03:26You're my son.

01:03:27So I don't care how old you get.

01:03:30I'm going to tell you, hell no, you can't talk to her.

01:03:33It's like that, so, hey.

01:03:38Yeah, wow.

01:03:41And again, like if you ain't talking at home,

01:03:44trust and believe that somebody else will.

01:03:47Okay, definitely.

01:03:49You ain't going to like it when somebody else did,

01:03:51when you find out somebody else is doing it.

01:03:54So yeah, I don't think so.

01:03:56That's not going to work.

01:03:58And are most people willing to have

01:04:00the uncomfortable conversation that brings people closer?

01:04:04And I'm going to say, I don't think so either.

01:04:08I think people will avoid it.

01:04:10They'll avoid anything uncomfortable

01:04:11because they don't want to hurt anybody's feelings.

01:04:13They don't want to, maybe the other partner,

01:04:16the spouse can't handle it

01:04:18and they might take things personal.

01:04:20But if you don't have that level of communication

01:04:23in the beginning, when you first start and say,

01:04:25hey, listen, we getting started in this situation.

01:04:29This is what I need.

01:04:29This is what I don't, vice versa.

01:04:32You put your issues out on the table.

01:04:36As we continue on this journey,

01:04:39it ain't going to be all roses.

01:04:40And I want to feel that I can bring something to you

01:04:43whenever I can.

01:04:44Like that level of communication and understanding

01:04:47has to be set in the beginning.

01:04:49If that's not set in the beginning,

01:04:50I think it'll be very hard for people to bring things up

01:04:53over a period of time,

01:04:54especially if the communication has not been on point.

01:04:57That's true.

01:04:58That is so true there.

01:05:00Yeah, yeah.

01:05:01And be very careful because the person that you meet

01:05:03within the first three months,

01:05:05that's just a representative.

01:05:06You have to base that off of six months plus

01:05:10before you really get to know the person.

01:05:12So it's why it's very important to have that communication

01:05:16and conversation in the beginning

01:05:18because the dynamics are going to change as time goes on,

01:05:22at least within the first year or two.

01:05:25Exactly.

01:05:26Yeah, yeah.

01:05:27Wow.

01:05:30Any questions that you want to throw out there

01:05:33or anything you want to leave for the group tonight

01:05:35before we get out of here?

01:05:37No, you know, as usual, normal.

01:05:39You know, I said what I had to say

01:05:41and I just don't want to repeat myself.

01:05:44Okay, okay.

01:05:45I feel you with that.

01:05:46Well, we got through another episode.

01:05:49I want to say thank you so much

01:05:50for coming through tonight as always.

01:05:53Thank you for your insight.

01:05:54I appreciate that.

01:05:55We definitely, this is one that we really dissect

01:05:59and talk about part a lot tonight.

01:06:01Yeah.

01:06:02Hey, you're welcome.

01:06:03You know, I'm more than happy to come through and talk

01:06:09because like I said, a lot of your stuff

01:06:11that you're putting out there, I've been through it

01:06:15and I'm not trying, you know, if I can help somebody

01:06:18or let somebody see the light

01:06:19and don't make the mistakes I made, then hey, I'm happy.

01:06:24Yeah, yeah, definitely.

01:06:27You want to let everybody know where they can follow you at,

01:06:31get your information, your books and all that good stuff.

01:06:34Sure, I'm on, my books are on amazon.com

01:06:39authors slash authors slash Birdman313.

01:06:43I have 10 poetry books there.

01:06:46My books is also on goodreads.com slash Birdman313.

01:06:54I have, I'm on Instagram, Birdman313, of course.

01:06:58I'm on, also on YouTube.

01:07:02I have a lot of videos of my poems

01:07:07and majority of the videos that had the poems

01:07:11are poems from my books.

01:07:14So I have, I think I like have like about 600 videos

01:07:18on there, but most of the videos are

01:07:22with other people on there, but majority of them

01:07:25that's mine is from poems that out of my books.

01:07:30Wow.

01:07:31And I'm also, I'm also on Spotify now

01:07:33under the coffee, wine and words platform.

01:07:37I have 10 videos there.

01:07:40Oh, I'm gonna definitely have to check that out.

01:07:42So YouTube, you said you have over how many videos?

01:07:46600.

01:07:47Wow, that's, that's congratulations on that.

01:07:50That's a lot.

01:07:51Yeah, and a lot of them is live events that I've done.

01:07:55It's me collaborating on, now I'm kind of like working

01:07:58with some, a few musicians where we, we do, you know

01:08:02they're playing a guitar when I'm reading my poems.

01:08:06I've been getting off into that.

01:08:07So, you know, a lot of them is, is you, is it

01:08:12a majority of them is when I was out in California.

01:08:16I love it when I go out there

01:08:17my mind just seems to just expand.

01:08:21And I just, I just write, write, write

01:08:23when I go out there and shoot a video.

01:08:25And I, you know, I just, it just seemed

01:08:28like I could take the same video

01:08:30and write seven or eight poems to put with it.

01:08:34No, that's good.

01:08:35That's amazing.

01:08:36So now when you're in your hometown

01:08:39how many nights a week do you do poetry?

01:08:43To be honest, poetry is really in Houston is dead.

01:08:48I don't, I don't do anything no more.

01:08:52I mean, majority of the people that I used to deal

01:08:54with, we don't even communicate.

01:08:57Oh, okay.

01:08:58I go to Austin.

01:08:59That's where I do most of my poetry at now

01:09:02is there in Austin.

01:09:05And you do that once a week or every day?

01:09:08No, it's like once or twice a month.

01:09:12I'll go up there.

01:09:14I get on the radio station.

01:09:15I get a chance to get on the radio.

01:09:17I can't even get on the radio station here in Houston

01:09:20but I can go up there and get on the radio station.

01:09:22That, you know, that's crazy.

01:09:25That sounds amazing though still

01:09:27that I'm just like intrigued by that.

01:09:30That's good.

01:09:31Yeah. And then LA Poetry Society

01:09:34they're starting to give me a little feedback now.

01:09:37And I'm, I'm, I'm really, really

01:09:40really want to go out there to do something with them

01:09:43but getting a lot, you know, cause like late on a night

01:09:46they, they normally have a reading on there

01:09:50and they always, you know, acknowledge me.

01:09:54So I want to go out there to do a live set with them.

01:10:02Yeah. I'm thinking like, you know, when I go to Texas

01:10:05I definitely would love to see you live.

01:10:08So I'll have to try to set that up.

01:10:11Yeah. And like I said, you know, normally, you know

01:10:14like I said, Austin is, is one of the places that I do.

01:10:18Austin, matter of fact, you know, even in San Antonio

01:10:22I've done one time in San Antonio

01:10:24but there's a couple of places that I was talking with

01:10:28and they have invited me to come and read in San Antonio.

01:10:33So I just got to make, I just got to make it happen.

01:10:36Yeah. Yeah.

01:10:38All right. That sounds good.

01:10:39I definitely will keep you posted

01:10:43and probably be next year sometime

01:10:45but definitely want to get out there.

01:10:48Yeah. Yeah.

01:10:50Like I said, you're more than welcome.

01:10:51Hey, and I got a place that I'm doing.

01:10:53I was, I was, I was telling my editor the other night

01:10:57I said, man, it's a spot that I found with a

01:11:01he's a friend of mine from Austin.

01:11:04He plays guitar and it's a, it's a wine bar

01:11:08and they got all kind of wines up in there.

01:11:13And I told her, I said, Larry would love this.

01:11:17And we do something once every, every two months.

01:11:25We are here, you know, he'll come out there

01:11:27and they already told me, you know, and she, they said,

01:11:31Hey, even if you want to set up an open mic, you can

01:11:35but the owner's girlfriend, we were talking about that.

01:11:40And she said, I don't know any poets in Houston.

01:11:43And I said, don't feel like you, but I said

01:11:45I'm a poet myself.

01:11:46I said, the people I used to hang out with

01:11:49we don't even talk no more.

01:11:53Yeah. I mean, things happen.

01:11:56Yeah.

01:11:57Everything that happens happens for a reason.

01:11:59So we don't know immediately

01:12:02but we'll figure it out at the end.

01:12:04Oh yes. Yes.

01:12:06But yeah, you know, like I said, you come 98

01:12:08that's one place I'll take you and you go in there

01:12:11and you might have to bring you like about $500.

01:12:14Cause you'll look at the wine.

01:12:15You might, you might get one bag full of wine.

01:12:22Oh, wow.

01:12:23I definitely want to check that out.

01:12:25Yeah.

01:12:28All right.

01:12:29Well, I guess next week, same place, same time.

01:12:32Of course.

01:12:33Of course.

01:12:35All right.

01:12:36On that note, I'm gonna finish up this little glass here

01:12:39and get on up out of here.

01:12:42Thank you so much.

01:12:44And as always, I'll see you next time.

01:12:46And I appreciate you.

01:12:47Yes, you're welcome, man.

01:12:48And you have a good evening.

01:12:50You too.

01:12:51And enjoy that heat.

01:12:52Cause I know I need it.

01:12:53Yes. Yes.

01:12:54Yes.

01:12:56All right.

01:12:57Take care.

01:12:57Good night.

01:12:58Yeah. Good night.

01:13:01Well, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it.

01:13:04That was Arthur Birdman 313.

01:13:08I want to thank him for coming through

01:13:09and I thank each and every one of you out there

01:13:12for hanging in there with us tonight.

01:13:15Like I said, I was throwing a little shade

01:13:19on this Sangria Grande,

01:13:21but I will tell you that if you do purchase this,

01:13:24definitely add the fruit like they suggest

01:13:26and definitely have it over ice.

01:13:29I guess there's a reason why it says serve chilled over ice

01:13:32because if you didn't have it that way,

01:13:34it probably would not.

01:13:36I don't think you would have liked it

01:13:38cause it is like a sweet wine.

01:13:41And I think that the ice and extra fruit

01:13:45just will give something to it

01:13:47to make it a little more desirable.

01:13:50So, but again, in all in all with 11 point,

01:13:54let me make sure I got this right.

01:13:5611.5%.

01:13:58Yeah, that definitely one glass hit the trick tonight.

01:14:03So no need to pour another one

01:14:05or else I would be like done.

01:14:09I would be done.

01:14:12So if you like anything that you heard tonight,

01:14:15again, please provide feedback.

01:14:18You can text me, you can DM me.

01:14:19I am on most social media platforms.

01:14:23I'm on Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok,

01:14:26YouTube, DLive, Twitch, and Dailymotion.

01:14:29You can also head on over to laryngaines.com

01:14:32and sign up for my free monthly newsletter,

01:14:35which is Whispers of Wisdom,

01:14:37inspirational content delivered to your inbox once a month.

01:14:41Also, if you enjoyed the conversation that we had tonight,

01:14:46and if there was anything that sparked an interest in you,

01:14:49you can sign up for my free 15 minute consultation,

01:14:53and we can find out if I'm a good fit

01:14:57to be able to help support you on your financial journey.

01:15:01Black Diamond Consultations,

01:15:03we go over debt-free living

01:15:05from the spiritual, mental, physical,

01:15:07and financial wellbeing.

01:15:10So first, I believe that it is imperative

01:15:14that we focus on the spiritual lens first.

01:15:18Know yourself, get to know who you are,

01:15:21create that spiritual foundation,

01:15:24and then from there, focus on the mental aspect,

01:15:27changing the way you think about money,

01:15:30changing the way you think about your financial situation.

01:15:34From there, then we can move into the physical aspect,

01:15:37how we show up in our environment,

01:15:39how we show up in our world,

01:15:41and how we conduct and spend and move our money.

01:15:46From there, then we can get into the financial aspect,

01:15:49which that's a long-term wealth building, long-term growth.

01:15:54So just a brief overview of what we do

01:15:57at Black Diamond Consultations,

01:15:59again, focusing on debt-free living

01:16:01from the spiritual, mental, physical, and financial aspect.

01:16:07And on that note, I will see you tomorrow,

01:16:10everybody, same place, same time, 7 p.m.

01:16:13We have coaching sessions Thursday.

01:16:15So you never know what you're gonna get on Thursdays.

01:16:17It's a wild card.

01:16:18We can focus on spiritual talk,

01:16:20we can focus on mental,

01:16:23we can focus on the physical,

01:16:26or we can focus on the financial.

01:16:28You sorta get a little bit of all of those,

01:16:33depending on which night it is.

01:16:35Like tonight, we got a different combination.

01:16:38But coaching session Thursdays,

01:16:43you never know what you're gonna get.

01:16:45Sunday is spiritual Sunday.

01:16:48Monday is mental Monday.

01:16:50Tuesday is transformational Tuesday.

01:16:52Of course, we're here Wednesday for Wine Down Wednesday.

01:16:55We have some great conversations, some great wine.

01:16:59We read a little bit, relax,

01:17:02different type of environment.

01:17:04Thursday, it's a typical wild card.

01:17:08And then Friday is financial Friday.

01:17:12So on that note, I wanna say thank you so much.

01:17:14Thank you so much to Birdman313.

01:17:16Thank you for coming through.

01:17:17Thank you to everybody out there for watching.

01:17:20Please like, comment, subscribe, tag, share.

01:17:26And on that note, I will see y'all tomorrow.

01:17:28And I'm gonna finish up my Sangria Grande.

01:17:32Finish up this glass here.

01:17:34And I'll see y'all tomorrow, 7 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.

01:17:37Same place, same time.

01:17:39Coaching session's Thursday.

01:18:25♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey

01:18:55♪

01:19:05♪

01:19:16♪

01:19:26♪

01:19:36♪

01:19:46♪

01:19:56♪

Silence In The Sheets | DISC 5: Restoration | 411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines (Episode 17)

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