The Pivot | DISC 5: Restoration | 411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines (Episode 23) - video Dailymotion

Lerin Gaines

The Pivot | DISC 5: Restoration | 411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines (Episode 23)   Featuring: Coaching Sessions Thursday, Mentorship Series   05.29.25 | 7:00 PM EST   Streaming LIVE on all social media platforms @LERINGAINES   https://leringaines.com  https://linktr.ee/leringaines  https://www.facebook.com/leringaines  http://instagram.com/leringaines  https://www.tiktok.com/@leringaines  http://twitter.com/leringaines  https://www.youtube.com/@leringaines  https://www.twitch.tv/leringaines  https://dlive.tv/LerinGaines  https://dailymotion.com/LerinGaines   Song of The Day: "Golden" by Jill Scott  Released 2004 | Beautifully Human: Words and Sounds Vol. 2   Burning Questions: Is the life you're living one you designed - or one you settled into to survive?   I would love to hear from you! Share your response to tonight's Burning Questions:   Text: (609) 200-1098 | Email: Info@LerinGaines.com   DM on any social media platform @LERINGAINES (Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok, YouTube, DLIVE, Twitch, DailyMotion)   Sign up for my FREE Monthly Newsletter 'Whispers of Wisdom' for updates, exclusives, and inspiration!   Subscribe now at LerinGaines.com   #Facebook #Instagram #TikTok #X #YouTube #DLIVE #Twitch #DailyMotion #ParentalAdvisory #ExplicitContent #LerinGaines #411Podcast #RBTW #ReadingBetweenTheWines #BurningQuestions #BlackDiamondConsultations #VacationWithMe #WhispersofWisdom #DISC5 #Restoration   DISCLAIMER: The content and information provided by Black Diamond Consultations are intended solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We do not guarantee the accuracy or completeness of the materials, and any reliance you place on them is strictly at your own risk. Our content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice or judgment. Black Diamond Consultations shall not be liable for any errors or omissions in the educational and entertainment content or for any actions taken based on the information provided.   411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines  DISC 5: Restoration  Track 23: The Pivot  ©️ 2025 Black Diamond Consultations Network  LerinGaines.com

Transcript

03:59And I'm feeling really great today.

04:02I had a great coaching session before through ShareWell Pro Sessions.

04:08So I had a great coaching session just about an hour ago.

04:13And here we are here on a 411 podcast, keeping this momentum going.

04:18It's Thursday.

04:19We already know what tomorrow is, Financial Friday.

04:22So I'm feeling really good.

04:24I'm feeling good about this situation.

04:25And let's get right back.

04:26And let's get right into tonight's show.

04:29But before we do that, I want to give a quick recap from last night, Reading Between the Wines.

04:35Very special thank you to my special guest, author Birdman313.

04:39He came through last night and we had a great time.

04:43It's been a minute since I was able to just unleash and speak about money and speak about music and drink wine and have a great show.

04:55It was really good.

04:56We spent a lot of time on music and it only makes sense because we were helping out Desmond, who was from Los Angeles, California.

05:05He's an independent music producer.

05:06And Desmond seemed to struggle with keeping up with the Joneses, worried about his appearance and a flashy lifestyle.

05:15And it seems like his last breakup, maybe his girlfriend kind of exposed him since he's in a limelight, since he is, you know, a public figure.

05:25And that could be a problem.

05:27So you need to be, first of all, very careful with who you link yourself up with when it comes to relationships and stuff on that aspect.

05:35But his bigger issue is the debt that he has accumulated and trying to keep up with a specific lifestyle.

05:45And it seems like his breakup definitely uncovered a lot of things.

05:50So if you want to find out about last night's episodes, excuse me, let me back that up.

05:57Last night's episode on Reading Between the Wines, please go ahead and watch that replay.

06:02And again, I was joined by author Birdman313.

06:06I sampled Pinot Grigio and I also read from DJ Khaled's book, The Keys.

06:13So check out that replay, hit that like button and let me know how you feel about last night's show.

06:20Now, tonight, we're going to take it to Miss Jill Scott, Song of the Day Golden, released in 2019 off of her album Beautifully Human, Words and Sounds Vol. 2.

06:34So I loved this song when it first came out.

06:38I appreciate Jill Scott for giving some positive music because during this time frame, we needed that.

06:47I remember going to work and I remember listening to this in the morning.

06:52And it definitely put me in a good mindset, great inspirational, motivational song.

07:00And I'm just going to go through some of these lyrics here.

07:04You know the song, I'm sure y'all know, living my life like it's golden, living my life like it's golden.

07:10And I think back to when I was listening to this and I was on the inside wanting to live my life like it was golden, but I wasn't because I was tied to specific individuals.

07:25I was tied to a company.

07:27I signed contracts and I had to basically fulfill those out before I could become the person who I am here today.

07:36And I always wanted to break free, but I did mentally before I was able to do it physically.

07:45And that's the key.

07:46Break free mentally before you're able to do it physically.

07:49Because what you focus on mentally will end up determining and shaping your reality.

07:57It's all on what you focus on.

08:00Jill says, I'm taking my freedom.

08:04I'm pulling it off the shelf.

08:06I'm going to stop right there.

08:08I'm taking my freedom.

08:09I'm pulling it off the shelf.

08:10How many times do we take our freedom and we put it up on a shelf because we put somebody else before us?

08:17We put someone else's plans and goals and dreams before us.

08:21And when we do that, we're basically taking our freedom to be who we want to be, live how we want to be.

08:26And putting it on a shelf when we sign up and get into relationships and situations and take on jobs and take on projects that don't serve us.

08:36But Jill says, I'm taking my freedom and I'm pulling it off the shelf, putting it on a chain and I'm wearing it around my neck.

08:43That's a bold statement.

08:44When you take your freedom and you are putting it on a chain and you're wearing it around your neck for everybody to see that you are free.

08:51Have you ever realized one day that you just don't give a F?

08:59I'm not going to cuss tonight, but you just don't care about what anybody else has to say or think about your own situation.

09:06You just don't care.

09:08Anybody out there who has that mentality where they just don't give a F?

09:11Those are the ones you got to worry about.

09:17And the reason why I say those are the ones you got to worry about because you're that close to having a breakthrough moment.

09:23So if you keep on pushing and you keep on pushing, you're going to get to the point where you really don't care what anybody has to think.

09:32And then that can really be a problem.

09:34It could be a problem for the people who want to get and keep us stuck and hold us down.

09:39Maybe someone was easily triggered by what somebody else had to say, what their thoughts were about them, what their opinions.

09:49And you know what they say about opinions.

09:52And everybody's got one.

09:56But just like Jill Scott's album.

09:59You can become a beautiful human when you realize that the only opinion that matters when it comes to you and your life.

10:08Is your own.

10:09And I don't know who I'm speaking to.

10:13I'm only speaking from experience.

10:14But congratulations to those.

10:19Who have made it to this point, especially if you're at the point where you don't care what anybody else think.

10:24You are taking your freedom.

10:26You are taking whatever you want to do.

10:27You're putting it on a chain.

10:29You're wearing it around your neck.

10:30You could care less what the next person says about you.

10:33And even if they do say something about you, it's not going to make you.

10:36It's not going to break you.

10:37It's not going to shape you.

10:37It's not going to mold you.

10:39You're going to keep on pushing.

10:40You're going to keep on striving.

10:41You're going to keep on doing what you have to do, taking care of you.

10:44And for those of you out there.

10:48Who are still struggling, who are still searching, who are still seeking.

10:54I understand and I know.

10:57Because in 2019, if I didn't open up my mouth and speak to my mentor that I met on the street.

11:11Met her at a festival.

11:14If I didn't open, if I didn't seek, if I didn't knock when she explained to me that she was a Buddhist.

11:19If I didn't say, hey, listen, I'm seeking, I'm searching, I'm lost.

11:29Keep searching.

11:31Keep seeking.

11:32Keep knocking.

11:34And the right doors will be open.

11:37If I didn't make that decision in 2019, I'm not sure that I would be here today.

11:42It's life changing.

11:47Welcome to Coaching Sessions Thursday.

11:48Thank you so much for joining on in Thursday, May 29th.

11:54We getting ready to get into this tonight.

11:56I don't know if my special guest is joining me tonight, but I might have a special guest.

12:01It doesn't appear that she is out there, but that's okay.

12:07If she doesn't join, we still going to go through this.

12:11We're going to head on over to Detroit, Michigan.

12:15We're going to help Linda out.

12:16But before we speak about Linda's situation here, if you have any questions, if there's something that you like about the show, if there's something that you don't like and you want to give me some constructive criticism, please feel free to reach out.

12:34That's 609-210-1098.

12:36That is the official 411 podcast, Ringing Between the Wines hotline.

12:40And if there is something that you'd like me to dissect a little bit to bring it to the podcast, you can email me at info at laryngaines.com.

12:51You can also DM me on any of my social media platforms.

12:54And if you like your situation, if you like your scenario, if you like your circumstance to become anonymous, put that in the comments as well, and we can make that happen.

13:06But tonight, we're headed to Detroit, Michigan.

13:09Shout out to everyone who's from Detroit.

13:12Linda is a registered nurse.

13:17Linda is in about her 40s, and she is ready to transition into a holistic wellness type business.

13:28But she fears leaving her stable job.

13:31She's looking for clarity on how to confidently pivot into a purpose-filled, debt-conscious lifestyle.

13:38Again, Linda is ready to transition into holistic wellness, but fear is leaving her stable job.

13:48She's looking for clarity on how to confidently pivot into a purpose-filled, debt-conscious lifestyle.

13:56So before we continue, I just want to put this out there.

14:01I am not here to give anybody advice.

14:03I am not here to give anybody financial advice.

14:05I am not a financial advisor.

14:08This is not what we're here to do.

14:10I am a financial coach, but that is completely different from a financial advisor.

14:16I can't tell anybody what to do, how to do it, how to spend it, how to move it, how to make it, how to shake it.

14:21That is not my thing.

14:23I provide you with the tools, the training, the information that you need to be able to make your own choices and your own decisions.

14:32So anything that is discussed here on the podcast, this is not any advice.

14:39I will give you my opinion as far as if I was in your shoes, what Laren would do.

14:44Now, I've had this said to me from my own mentors as well, because of course, Black Diamond Consultations, this is my own personal business.

14:56And when we have businesses, when we're starting up, when we're small businesses, when we're growing.

15:03It's not easy.

15:06And some of us have to hustle and work two or three jobs to make it work and make it do what it do.

15:15And Linda, I get it.

15:17You might want to leave your job, but for me personally, I would not leave my job as I have been told from my own mentors that I've actually been encouraged to get up and go to work every single day, especially if you hate it, especially if you dislike it.

15:37Especially if you can't stand people on your job, because there will be nothing more motivating, nothing more inspirational than for you to get up every single day and go to a job that you dislike because that is going to push you to push even harder to get the hell out.

15:54But I'm personally not going to quit anything until there's enough income coming in that we'll be able to sustain it.

16:08The current state that you're in right now, if you are going to go backwards, then that's not the right answer.

16:17And in some cases, you can only work how many jobs?

16:20There's only how many hours in a day.

16:22So you have to get focused on focusing on your own business while you are still hustling and grinding and doing your other jobs.

16:36So she's ready to transition into holistic wellness, but it doesn't seem like we have maybe started this business yet or not.

16:49And I know that that might be kind of sketchy.

16:53I don't know the full scopes of this.

16:55I only get a quick snapshot of this.

17:01And there's fear.

17:04There should never be fear.

17:07Remember, God has not given us a spirit of fear.

17:09But of power and of love and of a sound mind.

17:15And that definitely changed my life.

17:17That scripture definitely changed my life.

17:19And it has helped me because I used to be fearful about everything.

17:23Every single thing I used to think of crazy scenarios that didn't even happen and sit there and manifest the most ridiculous things that I could possibly think of.

17:34Because I grew up in a scarcity situation, in a rough situation, in a pessimistic environment to where we thought the worst.

17:44And we believed it and we dreamed it and we lived it.

17:49So no coincidence that when I became an adult, that just trickled into my adult life and it continued to become bigger and bigger and bigger and a bigger problem.

18:01So in anything that you're doing, you're starting a business, you're starting something new.

18:08Take the fear out of it.

18:10Because fear is basically just faith in reverse.

18:15Now we want to have faith.

18:16We want to believe that things are going to work.

18:18We want to be optimistic about our situation.

18:22Fear.

18:24I don't sign up for fear.

18:25Because if God hasn't given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind, then we already know where fear is coming from.

18:35And I don't listen to him.

18:36I don't sign up for anything that he has.

18:38I don't want anything to do with what he has.

18:40So I don't deal with fear.

18:42So we don't have to take the fear out of that issue right there.

18:46That's an issue on its own.

18:47Looking for clarity on how to confidently pivot into a purpose-filled debt-conscious lifestyle.

18:56Now I get that aspect.

18:57You're looking for clarity.

19:00There's all different avenues that you can go down, whether it's specific podcasts that you listen to, specific books,

19:11signing up for mentorship.

19:20I'm going to take it down the journey of spiritual retreat, getting centered with self.

19:29You're into the holistic wellness, so you understand and you know, I would believe.

19:34Again, I don't know.

19:35I'm just saying I would think that holistic wellness, you understand the importance of having a great spiritual family.

19:42I think that that's a start.

19:44And I'm going to say that tonight, that that would be a start.

19:49Because looking from the outside in, maybe Linda has enough money to do this, but she's just fearful.

19:56I don't know.

19:57But I'm saying that if you don't have enough money to be able to sustain where you're at

20:02and to be able to cover any type of emergency that might happen, then I wouldn't leave that job.

20:08I think I was told last month at a conference that it's wise to make sure that you double.

20:19So for example, if you have a part-time job and you have your own business and you want to quit that part-time job,

20:26don't quit the part-time job until your business can pretty much double the income that you are making from the part-time job.

20:34That was someone's suggestion that they gave to me.

20:37I'm not saying that that's the blueprint.

20:44I'm not saying that it's stamped in gold.

20:47But that was a scenario, an example that someone gave me at a financial conference.

20:51If you're going to quit something, make sure that it's pretty much doubled.

20:57So if you have that business that you're putting everything into and you're ready to quit and break free from some of the side hustles that you have,

21:06make sure that your business has doubled.

21:09Doubled your side hustle.

21:11Doubled your part-time job.

21:12And I want you to think about, especially if you're business owners, if you're starting your own, want to start your own, in your own,

21:24your business is you.

21:28That's your main priority.

21:30If you're an entrepreneur, that's your main priority.

21:36The jobs that you go to, the jobs that you have to go to at this moment, because that's where we are in the game,

21:42those are contracts.

21:44Think of them as contracts.

21:49Because a contract can cancel at any day.

21:51Your boss can fire you today or tomorrow.

21:54And are you going to fall apart?

21:56You can lose a contract at any given moment.

21:59But are you going to fall apart?

22:00Is your business going to go under?

22:03So you have to get yourself in a position

22:05to where you are focusing

22:08on your main goal.

22:10and you're aligning yourself up strategically

22:14and you're not putting

22:18trust

22:19in any man.

22:22And when I say man, I'm talking about man and women.

22:24Man.

22:25Don't put your trust in man.

22:28Because anybody can turn their back and do the 180

22:30on you at any given moment.

22:32And then what are you going to do?

22:33And I've had it happen to me

22:35where I've spent so many years

22:38at a specific organization

22:39and then all of a sudden

22:41something happens

22:44the hierarchy changes

22:45and then somebody wants to turn around

22:48and give you their butt to kiss.

22:49Now back in the day when I was in an unhealthy mindset

22:52when they did that

22:53oh I blacked out.

22:55Everything was wrong.

22:57It was this person's fault.

22:58It was that person's fault.

22:59But that was just a contract

23:00that was running out.

23:02It was expiring.

23:04And see if you focus on getting more contracts

23:06you don't put all your eggs in one basket.

23:09When that contract expires

23:11it's a wrap and it's done

23:12and we okay with it.

23:14See I didn't know that back in the day.

23:17So you might have

23:18side hustles.

23:20You might have

23:21extra obligations

23:22that you might have to make it work

23:24just to make it work

23:25because you're still building

23:26and you're growing.

23:28But one thing that I have done

23:30and I've learned

23:32is to look at all of these

23:33little side hustles

23:34these little things

23:35as contracts.

23:36And then what do you know

23:37in reality

23:38today I'm signing real contracts.

23:42So it is what it is

23:43when it comes to

23:44the job

23:47that you got to go to.

23:49I get it.

23:49I understand.

23:50I know.

23:51May not be the easiest thing.

23:55But just be careful.

23:56So anybody out there

23:57if you're like Linda

23:58be careful not to jump

24:00and pivot too quickly.

24:02You can still

24:03focus on you

24:05and your business

24:07and your goals.

24:11Think of it as

24:12the current

24:14nine to five job

24:15that I'm on.

24:16The current job

24:17that I'm going to

24:18that is taking up

24:20a lot of my time.

24:22A lot of my energy.

24:23Maybe I don't want

24:24to be there.

24:25Maybe I don't want

24:26to go there.

24:27I'm just going to

24:28use that as motivation

24:29for me to burn

24:30and grind

24:30and make this thing

24:32work and make it

24:32do what it do.

24:33But that's just

24:34a contract.

24:34And if that ends

24:35and it will end one day

24:36who knows

24:37everything ends

24:38nothing stays the same.

24:40I ain't going to

24:41let it make me.

24:42I ain't going to

24:42let it break me

24:43because this whole time

24:44well I've been

24:45going to this situation

24:48and putting myself

24:48in a situation

24:49that I really

24:51didn't want to

24:52I'm in this

24:53contract

24:54that's probably

24:57not my number

24:58one that I signed

24:59up for.

25:02I'm positioning

25:02myself for the

25:03breakthrough.

25:04I'm positioning

25:05myself for the

25:06breakout.

25:12That's what I would

25:13do.

25:14That's what I would

25:15do.

25:15It sounds like

25:16spiritually

25:21Linda might be

25:24headed somewhere

25:27but I would take

25:28that fear out of

25:29it and I would

25:31start to look at

25:31things differently

25:32when it comes to

25:33these side

25:34hustles

25:35and these

25:37nine to five

25:38jobs.

25:39Look at them

25:39as contracts.

25:42Things might

25:43turn around a

25:44little bit for

25:45you from a

25:46mental aspect,

25:47from a

25:47spiritual aspect.

25:50Ladies and

25:51gentlemen, if you

25:52have any feedback

25:53from tonight's

25:54show, first of

25:54all I want to

25:54say thank you

25:55again for

25:55joining.

25:56Thank you

25:56everybody who

25:57has joined.

25:59Please do me

25:59a favor.

26:00Please like,

26:01comment, share,

26:02subscribe, tag a

26:03friend.

26:03Thank you so much

26:04for coming in.

26:05Thank you for

26:05coming in.

26:06Please invite your

26:07friends because you

26:07never know what

26:08you will get from

26:09the 411 podcast

26:10Reading Between

26:11the Wines.

26:12I have a

26:12company, Black

26:14Diamond Consultations,

26:15and I focus on

26:16debt-free living

26:17from four

26:19lenses, spiritual,

26:22mental, physical,

26:23and financial

26:24wellness.

26:25So anybody out

26:26there who is

26:27interested in

26:27learning more

26:28about becoming

26:30debt-free,

26:31anybody who has

26:32made up their

26:33mind and they

26:33want to become

26:34debt-free, you

26:36can reach out to

26:37me.

26:37You can text me

26:38609-210-98.

26:40You can email me

26:42at info at

26:43laryngaines.com

26:44if you'd like

26:44more information.

26:45And most

26:46importantly, you

26:46can head on over

26:47to laryngaines.com

26:48and you can sign

26:49up for my free

26:5015-minute

26:51consultation.

26:52And you can

26:53apply to see

26:55if you qualify

26:55for any of the

26:56coaching sessions.

26:58And I have a

26:59little bit more

27:00information on this

27:01towards the end,

27:02but right now,

27:03we are going to

27:05get into my

27:08favorite segment

27:09of the show,

27:10Burning Questions.

27:11So the question

27:14that I have for

27:15you tonight is,

27:16is the life

27:18you're living

27:18one you

27:20designed or

27:22one you

27:23settled into

27:24to survive?

27:27I want you to

27:27think about this

27:28rhetorical question

27:30tonight, everybody.

27:32Is the life

27:33you're living

27:35one you

27:36designed or

27:37one you

27:38settled into

27:39to survive?

27:43And

27:43I'm going to

27:45share a little

27:46bit about my

27:47personal journey.

27:50The life

27:52that I'm

27:53living today,

27:55now,

27:57now it's

27:59one that I

27:59designed.

28:02However,

28:03previously,

28:05I lived a

28:07life that I

28:07settled into

28:08just to

28:09survive,

28:10just to

28:10get by.

28:11I was

28:12speaking earlier

28:13during a

28:13session that

28:14sometimes we

28:15attach ourselves

28:16to people,

28:16places,

28:17and things,

28:18and get

28:19into relationships

28:20and get into

28:20situations in

28:22the name of

28:22I don't want

28:24to be alone.

28:26So when we

28:26do things like

28:27that,

28:28and again,

28:29I don't know

28:29who I'm

28:29speaking to,

28:30I'm only

28:30speaking from

28:30experience,

28:31it could

28:32derail us

28:34and it

28:34can throw

28:34us off

28:35of the

28:35path that

28:36God has

28:37originally

28:37designed for

28:38us.

28:42Now,

28:42in my

28:43case,

28:44I think

28:46that there

28:46are a lot

28:47of things

28:47that were

28:49orchestrated

28:51from the

28:51heavens above

28:52that landed

28:54me where I'm

28:55at here

28:55today.

28:57I believe

28:58that there

28:59is a lot

29:01of karmic

29:02debt that

29:03I had to

29:04clean up

29:04and take

29:05care of

29:06based on

29:07me settling

29:08and not

29:11following the

29:12path that

29:12I personally

29:16should have

29:18went on

29:18earlier in

29:19my years

29:20because we

29:21get decisions

29:22and there's

29:22that road,

29:23there's that

29:23fork in the

29:23road.

29:24Which one

29:24are you going

29:24to go?

29:24Are you going

29:25to go left

29:25or are you

29:25going to go

29:25right?

29:27And sometimes

29:27when we go

29:28left,

29:28it's that

29:29little intuition

29:29that kicks in

29:30and we

29:30know we

29:31should have

29:31went right

29:31but we

29:31keep on

29:32going left

29:32because we

29:33think that

29:34we're going

29:34to be able

29:35to make it

29:35out on the

29:35other end,

29:37which you

29:37will,

29:39but you're

29:41going around,

29:42you're taking

29:43it the long

29:44way.

29:48God may

29:48have given

29:49you that

29:49shortcut if

29:50you would

29:50have been

29:50obedient and

29:53you would

29:53have taken

29:54that left,

29:55but because

29:55you wanted

29:56to be

29:56disobedient

29:58and you

29:59went the

30:00other

30:00direction,

30:01you might

30:02still get

30:02to that

30:03same

30:03and keyword

30:04might,

30:06or it might

30:06derail you

30:07off another

30:07path.

30:07Some people

30:08never make

30:08it right,

30:09but you're

30:12taking a

30:12long way.

30:14And from

30:14my own

30:15personal life

30:16and my own

30:16personal experience,

30:17I believe

30:18that I've

30:21taken a

30:21long way

30:22and now

30:23I'm finally

30:24starting to

30:25turn in

30:26the right

30:27direction.

30:31So,

30:32but just

30:33think about

30:33your own

30:34personal life.

30:35I know

30:35that setbacks

30:36are sometimes

30:38designed for

30:40as a setup

30:41because sometimes

30:42we have to

30:43hit rock

30:43bottom again.

30:44If I didn't

30:45hit rock

30:45bottom in

30:462020,

30:47I wouldn't

30:48be here

30:48podcasting.

30:49I wouldn't

30:50be doing

30:50this.

30:52So,

30:53the life

30:55that you're

30:55living,

30:56whether you're

30:56happy about

30:57it,

30:57whether you're

30:57sad about

30:58it,

30:58whether you're

30:59content with

30:59it,

31:00is it one

31:02that you

31:02truly designed?

31:03Like you set

31:04this up and

31:05you knew that

31:05this is exactly

31:06and of course

31:07we don't know

31:07because we

31:08don't know

31:09all the answers

31:09and there's

31:10only one

31:10person who's

31:11in charge.

31:13But is it

31:14similar to

31:15what you

31:16envisioned?

31:17Does it

31:17make sense?

31:19Or are you

31:20just stuck

31:21and you're

31:22settling

31:22just to

31:23survive?

31:29I've been

31:29in a

31:29situation

31:30where I

31:31settled

31:31and I

31:33felt stuck

31:34and I

31:35just did

31:35whatever.

31:39But I'm

31:40here tonight

31:40to let you

31:41know that

31:41there is a

31:42way that

31:42you can

31:42break

31:43through.

31:43There's a

31:44way you

31:44can break

31:45out.

31:46There's a

31:46way that

31:46you can

31:47break up.

31:47And no,

31:48I'm not

31:49trying to

31:49say that

31:49that's

31:50something

31:50that you

31:50should do

31:50but if

31:51you're

31:51listening out

31:52there and

31:52you know

31:52who you

31:53are,

31:54you feel

31:55that there's

31:56something that

31:57just ain't

31:57right.

31:58It's like

31:59that Keith

31:59Sweat song,

32:00something,

32:01something just

32:01ain't right.

32:02And you

32:03got that

32:03intuition and

32:04you got that

32:05inclination,

32:07you got that

32:08burning sensation

32:09that we might

32:09need to go

32:10ahead and do

32:10something a

32:11little bit

32:11different.

32:11Those are

32:14the folks.

32:18The life

32:19that I

32:19have now,

32:21I'm

32:21finally

32:22writing my

32:23own script,

32:25doing the

32:25things that

32:26work well

32:26for me.

32:31Previously,

32:31I settled.

32:33Settled,

32:34became stagnant.

32:37And even

32:37though I

32:38am on the

32:39path that

32:40I want to

32:40be on

32:41today,

32:41I took

32:46the long

32:46road.

32:50I took

32:51the long

32:51road and

32:51now I'm

32:52starting to

32:52finally turn.

32:55And while I'm

32:56finally turn,

32:56I started to

32:57pick up some

32:58things along

32:58the way.

33:00Started to

33:00pick up some

33:01keys,

33:02started to

33:02pick up some

33:02wisdom,

33:03started to

33:03pick up some

33:04understanding.

33:05And that's

33:05exactly why I'm

33:06here today.

33:08Now,

33:10there's another

33:10aspect about

33:11this.

33:12Even though

33:13nobody's life

33:16is perfect,

33:17although we

33:18might want to

33:19try to strive

33:19for perfection,

33:20it's impossible.

33:22There's only one

33:22person that's

33:23perfect, and

33:23last time I

33:25checked, I

33:26ain't him.

33:27So I get it.

33:28I don't stay

33:32stuck like I

33:33used to.

33:34There was a

33:34point where I

33:35knew I wasn't

33:36living the life

33:36that I wanted

33:37to, and I

33:38became angry,

33:40I became

33:40disrespectful,

33:42I became

33:43everything

33:44opposite of

33:45what you are

33:46hearing and

33:47listening and

33:47seeing today.

33:48but I

33:51learned how

33:52to get out

33:52of that

33:53feeling, I

33:54learned how

33:55to get out

33:55of that

33:55situation, I

33:57learned how

33:57to get out

33:57of those

33:58scenarios, I

33:58learned how

33:59to get out

33:59of those

34:00lower

34:00vibrational

34:01frequencies

34:02through one

34:04word, and

34:07that was

34:08forgiveness.

34:08if you

34:11are stuck

34:12and you're

34:13settling just

34:14to survive

34:15and just to

34:16get by, and

34:17you know it,

34:18you know it,

34:18because you

34:19know it ain't

34:20right, you

34:20know, you

34:20got that, I

34:22talked about

34:22that intuition,

34:23you got that

34:24feeling, it's

34:27all right, you

34:28can go ahead and

34:29get up and take

34:29responsibility for

34:30yourself, but

34:31while you're

34:31doing it, and

34:33when you realize

34:34that darn, I

34:35might have

34:35taken a long

34:36road,

34:36the shortcut

34:39was right

34:39there, but I

34:40didn't listen,

34:41and I took

34:41this long

34:42road, and

34:42now I'm on

34:42this journey,

34:43don't get

34:44discouraged,

34:46forgive

34:47yourself,

34:49stay out of

34:50the past,

34:52just focus on

34:53moving forward.

34:58I don't know

34:58who I'm speaking

34:59to tonight, I'm

35:00just speaking

35:00from experience,

35:01but is the

35:03life you're

35:03living when you

35:04designed?

35:05Are you happy?

35:06you good?

35:08Or have you

35:09settled?

35:10And are you

35:11just in survival

35:11mode?

35:13Are you happy?

35:15Are you

35:16content?

35:19Or are you

35:22filled with

35:22fear, guilt,

35:25regrets?

35:31Burning

35:32question.

35:33Is the life

35:34life you're

35:34living when you

35:35designed or

35:36one you

35:36settled into

35:38to survive?

35:41If you like

35:42what you heard

35:42tonight, please

35:44do me a favor.

35:45Please let me

35:46know.

35:47Put it in the

35:48comments.

35:49You can text

35:50me at 609-200-1098.

35:53Again, that is the

35:54official 411 podcast

35:56reading between

35:56the wines

35:57hotline 609-200-1098.

36:02You can head

36:03on over to

36:04laryngaines.com and

36:05sign up for my

36:06free monthly

36:08newsletter,

36:08Whispers of

36:09Wisdom, that is

36:10awesome,

36:11inspirational,

36:12motivational content

36:13surrounded around

36:15debt-free living

36:16from the

36:17spiritual,

36:18mental,

36:18physical,

36:19financial lenses

36:20delivered to your

36:21inbox once a month.

36:22And again, you can get that by going over to laryngaines.com.

36:26If there was something that you heard tonight that you were interested in, sparked some interest, gave you an aha moment, you can sign up for a free 15-minute consultation, apply to see if you qualify, and maybe you can come aboard on a coaching sessions.

36:48Free 15-minute consultation that is available at laryngaines.com.

36:51I focus on debt-free living from four different lenses, spiritual, mental, physical, financial.

37:02I'll take it back to the journey in 2020.

37:072019, I met my mentor.

37:12I was at a festival.

37:15Life was in shambles.

37:16Didn't know up from down, didn't know left from right, didn't know whether I was coming or going.

37:20But I knew that I just got so sick and tired of it.

37:24I was tired of fighting.

37:25I was tired of, I was just good and sick and tired of myself.

37:30I had no spiritual foundation.

37:31So I met my Buddhist mentor in 2019, and I asked for help.

37:44I knew that I wasn't living a life that I probably should be living, and I opened up my mouth and I asked for help.

37:50And because of that, my life completely changed.

37:56I made some dramatic changes by developing my spiritual foundation.

38:03And by 2020, my life changed.

38:05It did the complete 180.

38:07Instead of somebody doing a 180 on me, I was able to do the 180 and get up and take responsibility for my life.

38:13But it started with the spiritual aspect.

38:19Still in debt at that moment.

38:22Still living a lie.

38:24Still not understanding and still not knowing anything about finances and how to get it together.

38:29But because I focused on my spiritual foundation and started to understand and know who I was as a human being.

38:39And I then became empowered to be able to change my mental aspect and how I thought and felt about money, how I thought and felt about myself.

38:55Then, after tying the spiritual and mental together, I started to show up in a world completely different.

39:08How I made moves.

39:10As we say, money moves.

39:12How I was focusing in and out of the physical realm.

39:16Completely different.

39:18Started to change that around.

39:19Started to make healthier choices.

39:25And now we're here.

39:28Focusing on legacy.

39:30Focusing on longevity.

39:34So, if you're interested in debt-free living.

39:36Again, it's not for everybody.

39:38And I'll put this little disclaimer out there, too.

39:41I spoke to someone today who learned a little bit about financial literacy.

39:50Learned a couple things.

39:53But then struggled when the people surrounding, whether it be friends, whether it be family, they just don't get it.

40:03And you have to be very careful with who you attach yourself to.

40:10Because the people we attach ourselves to.

40:14Show me who your friends are and I'll show you who you are.

40:18Association brings on participation.

40:20You are only an average of the five closest people that you surround yourself with.

40:27That starts to make you.

40:30So, you are unable to grow.

40:35You are unable to heal.

40:37You are unable to move to new levels and new heights.

40:41When you stay stuck in the same place.

40:45When you try to take people to heights and to levels that they're just not ready to go to.

40:52They're not willing to go to.

40:55They're unable to go to.

40:57I remember I had one person tell me,

40:58Laren, I'm so sorry.

41:00This is not going to work.

41:01I'm unable to be the person that you want me to be.

41:04And because I was so ignorant, you know, like Eve, faith in Eve, love is blind.

41:11Because I was so blinded.

41:14Oh, I thought I could fix this situation.

41:16Oh, I got this.

41:18Oh, you good.

41:19Now, you know, you'll be all right.

41:20I got you.

41:21I'm going to work on you.

41:23I'm going to help fix you up.

41:24Always trying to help fix somebody else up.

41:28When in reality, I couldn't even fix my own self up.

41:31Because if I did and I had that capability at that moment, I would have realized that the only person that I could fix is myself.

41:45Again, I don't know who I'm speaking to.

41:46I'm only speaking from experience.

41:49And I know that I'm probably going way off topic.

41:54But it's all good.

41:56Because when this moment comes, we're just going to take it and we're going to embrace it and let this flow, this state of flow, just do what it do.

42:07Again, you can't pull up people.

42:13You can't help people who don't want to help themselves.

42:16A lot of us, we get into financial situations.

42:19A lot of us, we get into mental situations.

42:21We get into emotional situations because here we are thinking that it is our responsibility to regulate somebody else's nervous system.

42:29When you have a hard enough time and God has placed you with the job of making sure that you have self-control, make sure that you are regulating your own mental health, make sure that you are taking care of yourself.

42:44You don't have time to sit there and try to take and help and pull somebody else up.

42:49My mentor tells me today, Laren, it's all good.

42:52I know that you went through whatever you went through.

42:55It's hell on earth to some people.

42:59I've experienced hell.

43:01I don't have to worry about going to hell.

43:02Hell, I came from up out of hell.

43:05I've moved past that.

43:06I ain't worried about going to hell.

43:07I'm not going back to hell because I know what to do to keep me from going there.

43:11You got people sitting here crossing T's and dotting I's and doing everything and rituals and stuff to make sure that they don't go to hell.

43:21You want to know what hell looks like?

43:23Hit me up and we can have a conversation.

43:25I can let you know because I've been there before and I'm sure that there's people who've been there as well.

43:28But once you get out of there, you know full well that you ain't.

43:32You're going to do whatever you got to do to make sure that you never go back.

43:34I don't know who I'm speaking to tonight.

43:44I'm only speaking from experience.

43:48Another scenario.

43:50Picture yourself on a ladder.

43:52And this one, someone gave this to me a couple weeks ago and I've been just on this for a minute.

43:58I'm going to get off of it, but I'm on it right now.

44:02Picture yourself on a ladder and you're climbing yourself up.

44:05And the people that you surround yourself, whether it be a significant other, whether it be a family member, whatever the case, whoever.

44:11You're sitting there trying to pull this person up and you climbing up a ladder and they sit in there flat footed on both feet.

44:19Attached to you.

44:21Who do you think going to win in this scenario?

44:23Are you going to win by pulling that person up or are they going to win by pulling you down?

44:28And I had to remember this because as I clean my life up, as I continue to hit new heights, if I continue to move on on my journey.

44:41There's always going to be distractions that show up as you get your life together.

44:46Remember what the question was tonight.

44:48Is the life you're living one you designed or one you settled into to survive?

44:52These distractions will show up.

44:55They come at all different places, times.

44:57And when you're getting ready to have a breakthrough, they just mysteriously showed up.

45:01And you think that the person or the scenario or the job or the car or whatever, you know, it's just it.

45:09That's it.

45:09This is this moment.

45:10I finally made it.

45:11I finally got it.

45:13But be careful of those distractions because just like that person on that ladder, the person on the ground can be a distraction ready to pull you down up off of your posts the minute that you ain't paying attention.

45:24The minute that you take one foot off of the ladder, the minute that you take one hand off.

45:29So you got to be very careful about these distractions.

45:31Distractions are people, places, putting energy into people, places, materialistic things that don't serve in moving the financial needle in your favor.

45:46So I have to ask myself today.

45:50Yeah, this situation might be right.

45:53This person might look hot.

45:56The date was lit.

45:58I get all of that.

46:01I'm worried about the outer appearance, but I need to be focused and worried about the inner appearance.

46:07Again, I don't know who I'm speaking to.

46:09I'm just speaking from experience because I've been there and done that.

46:16Is this a distraction?

46:19Who sent you?

46:23Because if it ain't from God, I don't want it today.

46:27I don't got time for that today.

46:28Because remember, when I should have went right, I went left.

46:34So I had that long journey.

46:35I had that long road that I had to drive down.

46:38I had to walk down.

46:39I had to jog down.

46:40I had to run down.

46:41I had to whatever in order to get to where I'm at here today.

46:45So I want you to think about that burning question tonight.

46:48Is the life you're living, one you designed or one you settled into to survive?

46:54Don't settle into trying to pull people up to your way.

46:58Try to teach somebody.

47:00Try to train somebody.

47:01Try to move somebody into something.

47:03Whenever we try to force something and try to put something on to somebody, all we're doing is causing hell and havoc and issues within self.

47:11This financial journey, when it comes to debt-free living, it cannot be forced.

47:19I strongly urge people who are not ready, do not even sign up for anything.

47:24Don't even waste my time because most importantly, I don't want to waste your time.

47:28There is no magical wand.

47:32We can't just do some sort of rituals and all of a sudden you're going to become debt-free.

47:39There is some work that needs to be put into place.

47:43And remember, everything starts with self.

47:47You might need to stand over that sink and you might need to look in a mirror and you need to look at that person and you need to say, how the hell did we get here?

47:55I understand that we're here and we're going to do whatever we need to do to make sure that we get out.

48:02And I will give you one little nugget here.

48:07First step is cutting those credit cards up.

48:10Until you have learned how to be a good steward of your money, first step is cutting those credit cards up.

48:19Because until you decide to get out of consumer debt and stop with the credit cards, you're going to continuously be in this vicious cycle over and over and over and over again.

48:30Paying triple for something that you, who wants to pay for it three times over?

48:36Because I can't decide to say if this is not for me or I can't afford it, I'm going to go ahead and swipe a credit card instead of paying for it for once, one single time.

48:49Over the course built with all of the interest, late fees and all that other nonsense that happens, you end up paying for that item times three.

49:01I don't know about you, but I'm not going to pay for something times three when I basically can pay for it once by being a little bit more responsible and having some, remember what I said earlier, self-control.

49:16Head on over to laryngaines.com if you're interested, sign up for that free 15-minute consultation.

49:25I want to say thank you so much to everybody who joined.

49:28Thank you all out there for sticking in there, hanging with me, rocking with me.

49:33I want to let you know that I have six days of podcasting, six different elements of the debt-free living that you'll get through the 4-1-1 podcast and reading Between the Wines.

49:45Spiritual Sunday, we're going to focus on everyday life situations, everyday scenarios.

49:52You can write in, you can text me, you can comment and let me know, but we're going to focus on the spiritual aspect on Sunday.

50:00Mental Mondays, focus on that mindset on Mondays.

50:05Transformational Tuesdays, combination of the mindset and the physical aspect.

50:12Wind Down Wednesday, you never know what you're going to get.

50:15You're going to get financial literacy.

50:18I'm going to bring books from my own personal library to the show.

50:23Of course, a nice bottle of wine and some great conversation.

50:28That's Wind Down Wednesday.

50:29We take it down a notch.

50:31We relax, fun, laughter.

50:35Thursday, we're here, coaching session Thursdays.

50:38It's a wild card.

50:39You can get anything from spiritual, mental, physical, financial wellness.

50:44Wrapped up, tied up in a nice little bow.

50:46Come right on in.

50:47It's a wild card.

50:48You never know what you're going to get.

50:50Fridays, financial Fridays.

50:53Deep dive in a financial aspect of it.

50:55That's what you get with the 4-in-1 podcast, Reading Between the Wines.

51:02And on that note, I want to say thank you so much.

51:05Thank you to everyone who's joining.

51:07Please like, comment, share, subscribe, tag a friend, invite them in.

51:10I hope you all enjoyed the show tonight.

51:12And I will see you next week.

51:14See you.

The Pivot | DISC 5: Restoration | 411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines (Episode 23)

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