Weight of the World | DISC 5: Restoration | 411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines (Episode 30)

Name: Weight of the World | DISC 5: Restoration | 411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines (Episode 30)
Uploaded: 2025-06-18T00:12:04+00:00
Duration: 1 h 6 min 45 s
Channel: Lerin Gaines

Lerin Gaines

6/18/2025

Weight of the World | DISC 5: Restoration | 411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines (Episode 30)

Featuring: Transformational Tuesday, Mentorship Series

Tuesday | June 17th, 2025

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Song of The Day: "Get Over It" by Bucie
Released 2011 | Princess of House

Burning Questions: Are you clinging to who you used to be... instead of building who you're meant to become?

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411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines
DISC 5: Restoration
Track 30: Weight of the World
©️ 2025 Black Diamond Consultations Network
LerinGaines.com

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00:00:00I'll see you next time.

00:04:01Thank you so much for everybody out there who is listening and joining in.

00:04:05If you can please do me a favor, let's kick this thing off like we know how to do it.

00:04:10Please go ahead and like, comment, share, retweet, tag a friend, text a friend, do whatever you need to do to help support this movement.

00:04:22And I want to say thank you so much.

00:04:24And I want to say thank you so much from the bottom of my heart.

00:04:27And of course, I could not do this without my executive producer.

00:04:32I want to say thank you.

00:04:34Thank you, God, for giving me another opportunity to come out here and do the 411 podcast.

00:04:40Thank you for the growth.

00:04:42Thank you for the understanding and welcome on in.

00:04:52Thank you all so much.

00:04:55Yes, it's Transformational Tuesday, part of the Black Diamond Consultations Mentorship Series Tuesday, June 17th.

00:05:02I was just actually going through and paying attention at the calendar and I'm like, wow, we are like halfway through this month already.

00:05:12So I feel like it just got here, but we're halfway through it and this time is flying.

00:05:18But so let's get into this episode here that we have tonight.

00:05:24Episode 30, Weight of the World, This Five Restoration, the 411 podcast.

00:05:30And last episode, let's speak about last episode.

00:05:38I really have to say thank you to everyone who supports, anybody who likes, anybody who streams.

00:05:47Special thank you to the people out there on Facebook.

00:05:50I appreciate that.

00:05:51YouTube has been amazing and X as well.

00:05:55So thank you to everybody out there.

00:05:58What you could do to help this movement is when you come across the video, whatever platform it is, if you can give me a like, that would be great.

00:06:07Also put some feedback in the comments.

00:06:10Let me know if you agree, disagree.

00:06:13What do they say?

00:06:14Agree to disagree.

00:06:16Whatever the case is, how you feel about the episode, how you feel about the flow, how you feel about the vibe in this atmosphere.

00:06:23Drop it in the comments and let me know how you feel.

00:06:26And I realize that people watch the show.

00:06:31People stream the show, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they support the show.

00:06:35There's all different reasons why somebody would hang around and watch.

00:06:41We get spam.

00:06:43We get trollers.

00:06:44We get all types of stuff that come and go depending on what platform it is.

00:06:49So do me a favor.

00:06:52Put the comments in there.

00:06:53Let me know how you feel.

00:06:54Also, let me know where you're streaming from, whether you're on Facebook, Instagram, X, D Live, whatever.

00:07:00Or where you found out about us.

00:07:04Just put it in the comments so that they get a little bit of feedback.

00:07:07Whatever you put in there, that is your virtual voice that lets me know how you feel about the show.

00:07:13And it could determine which direction we end up taking this thing in because this is evolving.

00:07:21As we go through it, we evolve.

00:07:24And as you learn, I learn, and we grow together.

00:07:28And I'm so committed to this movement.

00:07:30And so, again, just give me any type of feedback you possibly can.

00:07:34So previous episode, we helped out Mr. Jordan, 33 years old, from Cleveland, Ohio.

00:07:41And this one was interesting because it seemed as if this was one of the letters that I received that actually was promising.

00:07:54Promising because Jordan, I felt like Jordan was on the cusp of breaking some generational curses.

00:08:03Understanding and knowing that something just ain't right.

00:08:08You know, like that song by Keith Sweat, Something Just Wasn't Right.

00:08:12And he's actually calling it out.

00:08:14But what the situation is, is that mommy had something to do with it.

00:08:20Mommy was just doing some, what do they say, doing the most.

00:08:26Actually not doing anything at all.

00:08:28Unemployed, refused to work, didn't want to downsize her current environment, and basically calling on Jordan to pay for everything.

00:08:37And here's where we begin to shift, and I think that Jordan will be able to make a move and change things, is number one, by recognizing that there's an issue, and then now number two, moving into doing something about it.

00:08:49When we have family members, when we have people who attach, who latch on, and want to go along for the ride without actually putting their work in or pulling their weight, then that becomes an issue.

00:09:04And you can become an enabler if you sign up for that.

00:09:08But you can also shift the dynamic and change and break generational curses by saying, absolutely not, I'm going to do something a little different.

00:09:18And a note before we get off of this topic, if people, and it may happen, try to say, oh, you think that you are this, oh, you think that you are that, don't forget where you come from.

00:09:32Don't forget where you come from.

00:09:34I want you to remember where you came from.

00:09:37And during that process of remembering, make sure that you do everything within your power to get up from that situation and make sure that you never go back.

00:09:47And how you can do that is getting up, taking responsibility for yourself, and doing something a little bit different.

00:09:54Now, if you get up and you do everything that you've been taught from your mother, from your father, from your grandparents, from your great-grandparents,

00:10:03you are basically staying stuck and that cycle will be repeated.

00:10:08But when you decide to shift and do something a little bit different, that would be a great example of breaking generational curses, doing something just a little bit different.

00:10:17So if you want to find out more about that episode, please go ahead and watch the replay.

00:10:22It is available on YouTube and also the audio version for all of the podcasts are available on most major podcast outlets.

00:10:31Let's get into the song of the day tonight.

00:10:34We're going to take it to another different level here.

00:10:37Normally we do mostly, you know, hip-hop, R&B, but we're going to go to the house aspect, the club aspect.

00:10:45My family is big on this.

00:10:49So surprisingly, I didn't find this song for them.

00:10:51I actually just stumbled across it looking for another song.

00:10:54But I discovered this about maybe 2016-ish, maybe 17, and it had been out since 2011.

00:11:03So song of the day, Get Over It by Boosie, released in 2011 off of her album Princess of House.

00:11:13So in this song, basically, Boosie is telling her boyfriend, her significant other, to get over it.

00:11:21If you think that you can change me, get over it.

00:11:24And that can't be...

00:11:27First of all, that right there is just so powerful.

00:11:29Because if you think that you can change anybody, just take the words from the song as some great advice.

00:11:37Get over it.

00:11:38Don't be like me.

00:11:39Don't learn the hard way.

00:11:41Don't keep bumping your head a thousand times over and over and over again in and out of this relationship, that relationship, this situation, this friends would benefit situation, this love triangle.

00:11:55Don't get into those situations and think that you can change anybody except for yourself.

00:11:59If you are like any of that that I just described, in any of those entanglements that I just described, in your mind mentally thinking that, oh, if we just do this, oh, if we just wear this, oh, if we just go here, oh, if we just do that, then maybe I can go ahead and change and persuade the situation and manipulate and make it work out for my favor.

00:12:26Remember, the only thing that I have to say to you is, get over it.

00:12:31If you think that you can change any other person in this world other than yourself, then get over it.

00:12:37So now that we know, and if you don't know, just stick around here long enough and you might find out.

00:12:45But I don't know who I'm speaking to.

00:12:47I'm just speaking from experience.

00:12:48But now that we know that we can't change anybody because we got over that, we got tired of bumping our heads.

00:12:55We got tired of going round and round.

00:12:57We got tired of being on a merry-go-round.

00:12:59We got tired of being on the emotional roller coaster like Vivian Green.

00:13:02So we got over it.

00:13:05Then you start to wake up.

00:13:08And then during this process of waking up, we realize that the only person that we can change is ourself.

00:13:14But every now and then, we might want to go back down memory lane or there might be some toxic people, some toxic situations that we got to remove ourselves from because it'll remind us of where we come from.

00:13:27And sometimes, you know, we can just be a little hardheaded and we might want to stay.

00:13:32All right.

00:13:33So for those of you out there who might be in the middle, you might not understand and you might not know quite yet.

00:13:42Like I said, stick around here long enough and you might find out.

00:13:46Get off thinking that you can change someone because the only person that you can change is yourself.

00:13:51Just like Boosie said, get over it.

00:13:54Get over the idea of concerning yourself with other people's opinions of you.

00:13:59What others think of you.

00:14:00The person that I am today.

00:14:04Get over it.

00:14:05I could care less about what somebody thinks about me today or tomorrow.

00:14:09Now, I used to be the person who used to think and used to be concerned and used to get myself all worked up and had all types of anxiety, stress, thinking of stuff that wasn't even true.

00:14:21It wasn't even real.

00:14:22It was just what was going on with my internal dialogue.

00:14:26I had to tell myself, get over it.

00:14:29Get over the idea of thinking that it has to be your way or the highway that everybody needs to do it exactly like you.

00:14:36I'm thankful that I'm where I'm at here today.

00:14:39I'll tell you that working in a retail environment, teaching, mentoring people, training people for so long.

00:14:49I thought that people had to do it exactly the way that Laram wanted it done.

00:14:53And a minute that they didn't do it exactly the way that Laram wanted it done, it became a problem.

00:14:59And then that trickled into my personal relationships, thinking that people had to do everything exactly the way Laram wanted it done.

00:15:07And then now we realize and wonder why things didn't work out.

00:15:12Get over it.

00:15:15Get over the idea of thinking that you're the only one.

00:15:19Shout out to my girl, Mary J. Blige.

00:15:21You ain't the only one.

00:15:23Everybody has all types of issues.

00:15:26Everybody goes through situations in life.

00:15:28And this is life.

00:15:29And this is what we're dealing with.

00:15:31So we're going to have to deal with it one way or the other.

00:15:33And we have to look in the mirror and realize that, OK, listen, this is not happening to me.

00:15:39It might be happening for me.

00:15:41And then once I get it together, now it starts to happen through me.

00:15:44Get over it.

00:15:47Get over the idea of thinking that the next one won't do what you won't do.

00:15:52It's called having standards and having some boundaries.

00:15:55Let them pick up where you left off.

00:15:58Because guess what?

00:16:00That situation might not be for you.

00:16:02That person might not be for you.

00:16:04Get over it.

00:16:06Get over the idea of thinking that this is the end and that you've done all that you can do.

00:16:12And it's always going to be the same way.

00:16:14And it's never going to change.

00:16:17And that's a major get over it.

00:16:20Get over it.

00:16:21The fact that you have another opportunity, the fact that you're listening here today,

00:16:24the fact that I'm speaking to whoever I'm speaking to,

00:16:29lets us know that, listen, this is another day.

00:16:31This is a new day.

00:16:32What happened yesterday is yesterday.

00:16:35Leave that there.

00:16:36Dead debt.

00:16:38What we focusing on here today.

00:16:40Better yet, what we going to do tomorrow?

00:16:44God willing, where are we going to pivot this situation?

00:16:48Are we going to go in this direction?

00:16:49Are we going to continue to stay stuck?

00:16:51Are we going to continue to be in this quicksand type of situation here?

00:16:55Get over it.

00:17:00Get over anything that God hasn't placed on your mind, heart, body, and soul.

00:17:05Because listen, God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of sound mind.

00:17:10So anything that God hasn't placed on your mind, your heart, your body, and soul, that comes from the other one.

00:17:17And I don't know if you're anything like me, but today, now that I know that,

00:17:232 Timothy, now that I know that I keep that with me,

00:17:27I don't sign up for the enemy's plan because I've done that for so many years and it got me nowhere.

00:17:31Song of the day, get over it, Boosie, released in 2011 off of her album, Princess of House.

00:17:45I like that.

00:17:46I like that.

00:17:48I like where we going here today.

00:17:50Welcome on in to Transformational Tuesdays,

00:17:54Track Weight of the World, This 5 Restoration, 411 Podcast.

00:18:00Now tonight, shout out to anybody who lives in St. Louis, Missouri.

00:18:06I want to say we have this cluster.

00:18:07We have this cluster of areas where people just know who we are.

00:18:13Of course, Newark.

00:18:15I feel like Newark.

00:18:16I feel like the Carolina.

00:18:18I feel like St. Louis.

00:18:21I feel like the Detroit area.

00:18:23I feel like they know what we're doing here on the 411 Podcast.

00:18:27But this thing is so much bigger than me.

00:18:31And I think it's bigger than what we have going on here now.

00:18:35So, again, if you could please help support this movement.

00:18:40Do me a favor, share this.

00:18:42Sometimes if you just go ahead and share this with a friend,

00:18:46you never know what could come of it.

00:18:48But tonight, we're in St. Louis, Missouri.

00:18:52We're helping out Mr. Malik, 43 years old.

00:18:56And Malik is a personal trainer.

00:18:59Six years ago, he was in the best shape of his life.

00:19:01His body was tight.

00:19:03Money was good.

00:19:04And working with high-profile clients.

00:19:06Thank you so much for joining.

00:19:07I appreciate you.

00:19:09Please do me a favor and share this video.

00:19:12Malik, 43, St. Louis, Missouri.

00:19:14He used to be a personal trainer.

00:19:18Six years ago, he was in the best shape of his life.

00:19:20His body was tight.

00:19:21Money was good.

00:19:22And he was working with high-profile clients.

00:19:25He tore his ACL in a freak accident.

00:19:29And recovery has been rough for him.

00:19:31He couldn't work the same.

00:19:33He lost most of his clients and gained over 80 pounds.

00:19:36And developed an unhealthy addiction to food, pain meds, and comfort spending.

00:19:41Over time, he burned through a savings, started using credit cards to stay afloat, and ended up with $32,000 in debt.

00:19:50Most of it on takeout, Amazon, and self-medicating distractions.

00:19:56Malik is trying to turn it around now.

00:19:58He started walking again.

00:20:00That's good.

00:20:01Prepping his meals and saying no to stuff that he doesn't need.

00:20:05But he's too embarrassed to go back to the gym where everyone once knew him as that guy.

00:20:12His biggest fear is that he'll never be able to go back to who he was physically or financially.

00:20:19And his question is, how do I push past the shame of start...

00:20:23Excuse me.

00:20:24How does he push past the shame and start transforming from where he is right now?

00:20:31I'm going to take that to the top.

00:20:32Malik, 43, and I live in St. Louis, Missouri.

00:20:37I used to be a personal trainer.

00:20:39Six years ago, I was in the best shape of my life.

00:20:42Body was tight.

00:20:43Money was good.

00:20:44And working with high-profile clients.

00:20:46Then I tore my ACL in a freak accident.

00:20:50Recovery was rough.

00:20:52I couldn't work with the same.

00:20:55I lost most of my clients.

00:20:56I gained over 80 pounds and developed an unhealthy addiction to food, pain meds, and comfort spending.

00:21:03Over time, I burned through my savings, started using credit cards to stay afloat, and ended up with $32,000 in debt.

00:21:13Most of it on takeout, Amazon, and self-medicating distractions.

00:21:17Thank you so much for joining.

00:21:18I'm trying to turn it around now.

00:21:21I've started walking again, prepping meals, and saying no to stuff that I don't need.

00:21:27But I'm embarrassed to go back to the gym where everyone once knew me as that guy.

00:21:31My biggest fear that I'll never be able to get back to who I was physically or financially.

00:21:37How do I push past the shame and start transforming from where I am right now?

00:21:44All right.

00:21:45So we're going to go ahead and take this to the top.

00:21:47Again, shout out to anybody who is from Missouri.

00:21:51I once visited Branson, Missouri.

00:21:54I drove through St. Louis, Missouri, but never really spent any long periods of time in St. Louis.

00:22:03Personal trainer.

00:22:04Six years ago, he was in the best shape of his life.

00:22:07Body was tight, money was good, and working with high-profile clients.

00:22:12I want to focus on money was good because a lot of times we can get caught up with thinking that money is good.

00:22:21And money isn't really good unless you deploy that money to do something for you.

00:22:28So when we think that money is good, think about money as a relationship.

00:22:37Think of you being in a relationship.

00:22:40You don't want to be in a relationship where you're tied down, where you can't breathe, where you can't be free to be who you are.

00:22:50And money needs to be what money is.

00:22:54And money likes to reproduce, and money likes to multiply.

00:22:59So think of your money.

00:23:01If you have your money stuck in a savings account, and it's just a traditional savings account, and it's not a high-yield savings account, and it's not doing anything except sitting there, then that's not good.

00:23:17And there's also people who have money that just, they don't have it in a high-yield savings account.

00:23:24They don't even have it collecting interest.

00:23:25Sometimes they have it just stuffed underneath their mattress, or they're afraid to put it in a bank.

00:23:31I know that that's some kind of old-school type stuff.

00:23:33That's a situation.

00:23:37And I know we're going to stay on this for a minute, and I'm going to wrap this thing up right.

00:23:42There's also people who get their money, and they just let their money run wild and run loose.

00:23:46Would you like to be in a relationship where your significant other or your spouse is just out loose, keyword loose, just ripping and running and letting anybody touch them and hold them?

00:23:58And all right, y'all know where I'm going, right?

00:24:01So that's an equivalent to people who just spend money because they think money is good, and I got it like that.

00:24:05So I'm going to just go ahead and spend it.

00:24:07Your money is too loose.

00:24:09You want to be in a relationship with somebody that's too loose?

00:24:11So think about your money as being in a relationship.

00:24:15And remember, I said money likes to multiply.

00:24:17Money likes to grow.

00:24:18Think about you being in a relationship.

00:24:20Don't you want to grow?

00:24:21So when we think about money being good, again, I don't know.

00:24:26This is just the surface here.

00:24:28I'm just scratching the surface, but money likes to multiply.

00:24:32It likes to grow.

00:24:33I want you to remember that.

00:24:34So when you think that you got money and money is good, the question that I have to ask is how good is it?

00:24:39Are you allowing your money to be itself or are you allowing your money to grow in this relationship because it's a relationship that you have with money?

00:24:50Now, when you allow your money to grow and be who I know I'm speaking as money as being a person, but just follow me with this.

00:24:59When you let that money be who it is in a relationship, it can help you because it's growing.

00:25:09And when hard times come, when life shows up, because we already know what's going to happen one day or the other, life is happening right now to each and every one of us.

00:25:18We never know what's going to happen.

00:25:19But your money can protect you if you allow it to grow, allow it to mature, allow it to multiply, allow it to do the things that money knows how to do.

00:25:31But if you want a relationship and you're overpowering and you're over controlling and you don't you want to get in the way and you want to do your things your way and you don't want to let the money stand up and do what it's supposed to do and help you in times of need, then we can have an issue.

00:25:47And then what happens? There's a freak accident. Life happens and an ACL got torn. Recovery was rough. Couldn't work the same. Stop it right there.

00:25:56When you can't work the same. If you deploy your money to do what it's supposed to do, when life happens, when time happens and you can't work the same as much you once were doing before when you were healthy.

00:26:11See, that's when money kicks in, because if you were good to it in that relationship and you let it grow and you let it do what it was supposed to do, the money says, you know what?

00:26:18I love you and I got you. I got you. When you held me down and you let me do what I was supposed to do when you helped me.

00:26:26Now I'm going to help you. But it don't work that way when we get into the wrong type of relationships with our money and we just let it loose and let it fly.

00:26:37And we don't we don't save and we don't deploy and we don't set systems up to make it work.

00:26:44Just like they say, when the money go on, there go your friends. When the money is going, there go your bins. Shout out to little Kim for that one.

00:26:52So we couldn't work the same. And because of that, lost most of his clients.

00:26:59Gained 80 pounds, which, OK, you know, ability to move, you ain't exercising, you ain't working out like you normally do.

00:27:06I can kind of understand that and develop an unhealthy addiction to food.

00:27:12And when that that's where we got to stop.

00:27:16That's where the 80 pounds come from because of an unhealthy addiction to food, pain medicine and comfort spending.

00:27:23Everything that we experience here today.

00:27:29Is what we thought of yesterday.

00:27:33If you don't like how you look.

00:27:36How you feel.

00:27:37Then we might need to think about what is our thought process.

00:27:42What were we thinking about?

00:27:44What got us into the situation?

00:27:46When we do to turn this thing around, everything starts with self.

00:27:51The fact that Malik is saying an unhealthy.

00:27:56You already know that it's wrong.

00:27:58An unhealthy addiction to food, pain meds.

00:28:01That's a problem.

00:28:02And comfort spending.

00:28:05We already know that it's unhealthy.

00:28:07So now the next question is, why do we continue to do it?

00:28:12Nothing that we can say or do will change the situation until Malik stands up and takes responsibility for himself and say that we want to do something a little bit different.

00:28:21The fact that he's writing in the fact that he's writing it in such a way saying that it is an unhealthy addiction.

00:28:31That's a plus because we already know that it's wrong.

00:28:34When you know better, you do better.

00:28:37Now it's just taking steps to making this thing work.

00:28:39So pounds, we already know.

00:28:42A couple of things you will work out every single day or being active throughout the week when you were a personal trainer.

00:28:49Once you stop doing that, okay, some of the pounds could come back on.

00:28:53But now you revealed that there's an unhealthy addiction to food and whatever meds you're on, pain meds, that could spark some things too.

00:29:02And then on top of that, we do comfort spending.

00:29:07Now here we go on to the next part.

00:29:09Over time, I burn through my savings.

00:29:12That's a situation there.

00:29:15I want to talk about savings.

00:29:17What is savings?

00:29:18What are we saving for?

00:29:21Because if we're saving for a rainy day when life happens, that's something that's called an emergency fund.

00:29:27And when you have a situation where you can't work, a freak accident, something happens to your car, something happens to your home.

00:29:35If you're saving for a large, I want to say, astronomical bill, that's something where we consider an emergency fund.

00:29:48And an emergency fund would be something that I would tie to a savings account.

00:29:54We just change the verbiage a little bit and call it an emergency fund.

00:29:58If it is an emergency fund, that's exactly what that means.

00:30:06An emergency.

00:30:07So if you're saving for a rainy day, which is what we were told back in the day, think about changing the terminology.

00:30:15Just call it an emergency fund.

00:30:17And that's exactly what that means.

00:30:21An emergency fund is not because we want a new TV.

00:30:23Not because we want the latest Jordans.

00:30:26Thank you so much for joining out there.

00:30:28Please do me a favor and please share this video.

00:30:31Does not mean we want the latest Jordans or we want to go on a vacation because our emergency fund started to gain a little momentum.

00:30:39An emergency fund is exactly what that means for an emergency.

00:30:43And that's not to give it to your family because they fall short and they're not doing what they're supposed to do.

00:30:49And you might be good with your money and they're not.

00:30:53And they know that you might have money.

00:30:55So they might want to ask you and tap you and ask you to cash out them, this, that, the next, the other.

00:31:02That's not what the emergency fund is for.

00:31:05It's titled emergency fund exactly for that.

00:31:08So that's a problem.

00:31:10You blew through your savings.

00:31:12You didn't use it as an emergency fund.

00:31:14And you started using credit cards to stay afloat.

00:31:18The situation.

00:31:18Ended up with $32,000 in debt.

00:31:26Most of it on takeout.

00:31:28That's a situation.

00:31:29We spoke about fast food and how.

00:31:33That's probably one of the biggest bills minus your home, minus your car payment and insurance.

00:31:43Food probably is next on the list.

00:31:46And I've said this before.

00:31:47Look at your food bill.

00:31:50Go through last month's expenses.

00:31:51Find out how much money you're spending on food.

00:31:54And I'm not talking about the grocery store.

00:31:56That's one aspect.

00:31:57But that's not the main focus point.

00:32:00Takeout.

00:32:01Fast food restaurants.

00:32:03Quick dining.

00:32:05How much money did you spend on that versus the grocery store?

00:32:09A lot of that can be saved by cooking at home and meal prepping and planning things out properly.

00:32:18Amazon.

00:32:18That's a big issue.

00:32:20Amazon.

00:32:22Sheen.

00:32:23All of these other places that people shop.

00:32:25Etsy.

00:32:28That's where the comfort spending comes in on his part, I'm assuming, from Amazon.

00:32:35Self-medicating distractions.

00:32:37That's where most of this $32,000 came in from.

00:32:43Now, the emergency fund or his savings account, I'm labeling it as an emergency fund.

00:32:49Because if we can break through to anybody tonight, focus on building an emergency fund.

00:32:56Most people don't have...

00:32:58I'm just going to break it down to about $1,000.

00:33:00Most people don't have $1,000 in their account for an emergency.

00:33:05Now, in the state of the world that it is today, you need at least $2,000 plus in an emergency account waiting for a rainy day for when life happens.

00:33:17Now, as we fast forward again, Malik says, I'm trying to turn it around now.

00:33:29I started walking again.

00:33:30That's good.

00:33:31So, that will possibly help, you know, reducing some of the extra pounds that he gained.

00:33:37Prepping meals.

00:33:39So, now that will help cut off some of the excess spending.

00:33:46Hopefully, not add to the $32,000 worth of debt because we'll start to slow that process down a little bit.

00:33:54Stop the painful bleeding there.

00:33:56And saying no to stuff that he doesn't need.

00:33:59Well, that's good.

00:34:01Here's the issue.

00:34:03I'm embarrassed to go back to the gym where everyone once knew me as that guy.

00:34:09If you are so embarrassed to go back to that gym, the simplest thing is to go to another one.

00:34:16Like, why do you have to go back to that same exact gym?

00:34:19Sometimes we have to come from familiar places.

00:34:22And we have to get our mindset shifted to something different by getting up and removing ourselves from what we once thought was normal.

00:34:31From what we once thought was so familiar.

00:34:34If you're so concerned about what people have to think about you or feel about you at this moment as you're going through your healing process.

00:34:44Because I think it's beneficial for you to pick a new gym in the first place.

00:34:48I wouldn't want to go back to the same gym.

00:34:52That would be even harder for you.

00:34:53I'm not saying that you can't do it, but my, and again, if it was me, I can't give anybody any advice.

00:35:02I'm just giving you my opinion on this type of situation.

00:35:04If it was me, I thrive so much better when I remove myself from situations and we can go back to it later.

00:35:12Not saying that you shouldn't go back to that gym or you couldn't go back to that gym, but go somewhere and heal physically, emotionally, mentally, heal that aspect first and then possibly go back.

00:35:28And this is kind of disturbing.

00:35:32My biggest fear is that I'll never go back to who I was physically or financially.

00:35:39My question is, why would you want to?

00:35:42Thank you for joining.

00:35:44Why would you want to go back to the person that you were physically or financially years ago?

00:35:50And then that goes for anybody out there.

00:35:52Why would we want to go back to who we were yesterday or the day before last year?

00:35:57If anything, we want to challenge ourselves to be bigger and better.

00:36:01So the fact that Malik is so stuck on the past, that's a problem.

00:36:08Because you can't see where you're going if you're too busy looking back backwards.

00:36:15That's bound to be some sort of collision right there.

00:36:20Try it.

00:36:21Get in your car, drive forward, but look back.

00:36:24Look out your back window.

00:36:28Stay focused on your rear view mirror while you're driving forward and see what's going to happen.

00:36:33And I think that's one of the biggest issues here.

00:36:41Because if Malik was so focused on what we got going on here right now, what can we do to enhance what we have going on here?

00:36:51Now, how can we build bigger and better than what we were before?

00:36:58Looking at himself as his only form of competition, not worrying about what somebody else thinks, not worrying about what somebody says, not worrying about what somebody else looks like.

00:37:10I think that this would be something totally different.

00:37:13And that's how we wrap this thing up.

00:37:22How do I push past the shame and start transforming from where I am right now?

00:37:28And the biggest thing is getting up and taking responsibility for your life.

00:37:33Evaluating every single aspect of it.

00:37:36Looking in that mirror.

00:37:37Everything starts with self from the top.

00:37:40The 80 pounds that we gained.

00:37:42Okay, there was an accident.

00:37:44What role did I plan?

00:37:46Did I really need to, you know, focus on takeout?

00:37:52Did I really need to blow through my savings account, my emergency fund the way that I did?

00:38:01I took the pain medicine, right?

00:38:03Did anybody force me to do it?

00:38:06Taking responsibility.

00:38:07It sounds like you already are with the comfort spending.

00:38:11You stopped doing things.

00:38:12You're meal prepping now.

00:38:14Realizing what we did.

00:38:18Once we realize it and we're there, this is one thing that we have to stop doing.

00:38:23Beating ourselves up.

00:38:25Staying stuck.

00:38:27Playing the same broken record over and over and over and over again.

00:38:31Once our eyes open up the next day, God has granted us another opportunity to do it again.

00:38:39Life is what you make it if you don't give up the fight.

00:38:42So we have to go ahead and fight.

00:38:44Fight against who?

00:38:48Against ourselves.

00:38:49Fight against that person that we once knew yesterday versus the new person that we are here today.

00:38:55That's the biggest competition.

00:38:57That's the biggest hurdle.

00:38:59And most of the time, we can't do that because we are too busy focusing on somebody else.

00:39:04Wondering what somebody else thinks about me.

00:39:07Wondering what somebody else said about me.

00:39:09Trying to crack our brain.

00:39:12Go against the flow.

00:39:14Go against the current.

00:39:15How can I change him, her, them, next, the other?

00:39:19Oh, I'm going to make them do this.

00:39:20I'm going to make them feel this way about me.

00:39:24Absolutely not.

00:39:25Like I spoke at the top of the show, get over it.

00:39:28It's not going to happen.

00:39:30The only person that you can change is self.

00:39:32Everything starts with self.

00:39:33If you continue to go through life thinking that you're going to change somebody else or thinking or worrying about or feeling about what somebody else thinks,

00:39:42the only person you're hurting is yourself.

00:39:46I don't know who I'm speaking to.

00:39:48I'm only speaking from experience.

00:39:50But I had to get over it.

00:39:51But this is not a bad situation here.

00:39:54Yes, there's some debt here.

00:39:57$32,000 worth of debt.

00:39:58Just as quick as you got into this.

00:40:02I don't know how long.

00:40:03I don't believe it said six years ago.

00:40:07He was a personal trainer.

00:40:08I don't know when the accident happened and all of that stuff, but $32,000, that's a lot of debt there.

00:40:19Just know that once we get into this situation, we can get into debt quickly.

00:40:26It doesn't take long to swipe up credit cards.

00:40:29Thank you so much for joining in.

00:40:30It doesn't take long for us to debit ourselves into a situation.

00:40:34Just swipe, swipe, swipe.

00:40:36That's that's I know.

00:40:38I hate to say it, but that's it.

00:40:39That's the easy part.

00:40:41It becomes difficult and it becomes harder as time goes on and also as we become older.

00:40:48If you're doing this stuff in your 20s, it's one thing he's in the 40s becomes a little bit more difficult as we get older and older and older to dig ourselves out of these holes that we put ourselves in financially.

00:41:03Knowing that and understanding that you have to be patient, you have to take care of yourself during this process.

00:41:15Yes, you might have to hustle.

00:41:16You might have to grind.

00:41:17You might have to get some little side hustles to make it work and you might have to work a lot, but just think about the end game.

00:41:25Once you get out, as you learn your lesson, do whatever you have to do to make sure that you don't put yourself back in that situation.

00:41:34Whatever you do in your 20s, you're shaping your 30s.

00:41:39Whatever you do in your 30s, you're shaping your 40s.

00:41:42Whatever you do in your 40s, you're shaping your 50s.

00:41:45Whatever you do in your 50s, you're shaping your 60s.

00:41:48I would hope that in your 60s you have it together financially because that's shaping the 70s.

00:41:57As we continue to keep getting older and older, it will be harder and harder and harder for us to turn this thing around.

00:42:03Let me know how you feel about tonight's assignment here, helping out Mr. Malik from St. Louis, Missouri.

00:42:14I think this is a good situation here.

00:42:17Malik is walking again, starting to meal prep.

00:42:20I feel that once Malik gets back into the swing of things, get back into the gym, he'll probably shed that weight.

00:42:29He already recognizes that the spending was out of control and he's starting to curve that.

00:42:34And I think that we can change this.

00:42:36However, I want to focus on that mental aspect.

00:42:42The biggest thing is how you feel about yourself, not what somebody else thinks about you.

00:42:48The mental aspect is what we speak, what we think of ourselves will show up in our reality.

00:42:55Words have power, thoughts have power, thoughts become things.

00:43:01So if you're walking around thinking that you're not going to be this and you're not going to be that and you're going to be stuck like this and you're going to be regressing like that, that's exactly what's going to happen.

00:43:16What you think about becomes your reality.

00:43:18The mental aspect is very important.

00:43:23How we think, how we feel about ourselves is very important because what we're experiencing here today is what we thought of yesterday.

00:43:36I would recommend, again, I can't give anybody any advice here, but if it was me, if I was in that situation, definitely focus on the mental health aspect.

00:43:48I don't expect healing from this traumatic situation, this accident.

00:43:53There obviously was some pain medication involved.

00:43:56There was some self-medication going on here.

00:43:59So mental health here is very important.

00:44:05The physical, once you get back in the gym, you're going to change that around confident that that was your thing.

00:44:11That's what you did.

00:44:11But let's not forget about this mental aspect because I feel like there's some self-sabotage here when it comes to how we think, excuse me, how we are thinking and feeling about ourselves in this letter here.

00:44:26Again, fear, I don't like that.

00:44:32I've eliminated that from my vocabulary.

00:44:37I work hard to eliminate that from my nervous system because, again, God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of sound mind.

00:44:46So whenever I think about fear, anxiety, doubt, stress, all of that comes from the enemy.

00:44:54God is love.

00:44:56God is not going to give us confusion, anxiety, stress.

00:45:03Now, we can do it to ourselves when we sign up for the enemy's plan, but that's not God's plan.

00:45:12So I say we need to obviously focus on some mental healing here when it comes to this as well.

00:45:23Let me know how you feel about tonight's assignment.

00:45:26You can text me at 609-200-1098.

00:45:32That is the official 411 podcast hotline.

00:45:36That phone number is 609-200-1098.

00:45:43Now I have a rhetorical question for you all.

00:45:45We are getting ready to get into burning questions.

00:45:48I want you to think about this.

00:45:51And this is something good to journal about, to think about.

00:45:56Are you clinging to who you used to be instead of building who you're meant to become?

00:46:07Are you clinging to who you used to be instead of building who you're meant to become?

00:46:15Now, again, I always say I don't know who I'm speaking to.

00:46:20I'm just speaking from experience.

00:46:22But I used to cling to who I used to be.

00:46:28And I was so comfortable.

00:46:30And I can relate a little bit here with Malik.

00:46:34I was so comfortable in my past life.

00:46:37So comfortable of being programmed to get up, go to work, do whatever my corporate job told me to do.

00:46:50I'll put it that way.

00:46:51And then if it wasn't that corporate job, it was the next corporate job.

00:46:54And it was the next corporate job.

00:46:55But then something happened in 2020.

00:46:59And a lot of these things got shut down.

00:47:02And my life changed dramatically.

00:47:06But I found myself clinging to who I used to be.

00:47:09So if I had one corporate job and I moved and transferred to another one, when I would start the second one, I would cling to the old one and try to bring habits from one corporation to the other corporation, thinking that I'm trying to help and train and bring secrets.

00:47:26And we can elevate this way.

00:47:30And yes, some things work.

00:47:32But then I found myself clinging to what I used to be, almost missing what I used to have because I was so focused on what I used to be instead of focusing on a new person that I should have been becoming in that new environment.

00:47:49And then I went to the next corporation and I did the same thing, bring stuff from the first one, from the second one, and now trying to incorporate it into the third one.

00:48:01And everything was great in the beginning.

00:48:05Great job, Laren.

00:48:07This is amazing.

00:48:08Yes, we can go ahead and incorporate this into our new policies and procedures.

00:48:12This is amazing.

00:48:13Where did you get this from?

00:48:14But again, once the dust settles, still clinging on to the first situation, still clinging on to the second scenario and couldn't really strive and thrive in the third scenario because I was too busy focusing on a person that I used to be, too busy focusing on the old policies and procedures in a way that we used to do things before.

00:48:43And even though I was doing what I could do in a current situation, my mind was so focused on, wow, remember the good days, remember the good times when if I had brought this same scenario to this specific supervisor, this specific team member, it would have probably been welcomed and congratulated.

00:49:10That's not working in this situation.

00:49:14Then I realized, wow, fool me once, fool me twice.

00:49:20The third time is probably going to be all on me.

00:49:25Then I realized, wow, maybe this is a lesson.

00:49:29Maybe you should just focus on the person who you're meant to become instead of focusing on other people's scenarios and situations.

00:49:35I know it's easier said than done because I have to make sure that I walk myself through this.

00:49:48Are you focusing on building who you're meant to become or are you stepping into your purpose or are you too busy clinging on who you used to be?

00:49:58Things change dramatically once I started to step into my purpose and become the person.

00:50:13It may not be 100% each and every day.

00:50:19You may not get five stars every single day.

00:50:22But as long as you are focusing on becoming that person who you are meant to become, working on it, praying on it, meditating on it,

00:50:36moving forward instead of looking backwards, picking yourself up when you fall and you stumble, brushing yourself off, encouraging yourself,

00:50:50seeking the people who can help you get the things and go to places that you'd like to go.

00:51:01I say you're on your way.

00:51:03Listen, I don't know who I'm speaking to.

00:51:04I'm only speaking from experience.

00:51:08A lot of times, like Erykah Badu, we are holding on to so many different bags and we're trying to bring stuff from the past into the future.

00:51:18And there's just not enough room for that.

00:51:20And we wonder why.

00:51:23And again, I'm only speaking from experience.

00:51:26Wonder why we keep meeting the same type of people.

00:51:29We keep experiencing these same scenarios.

00:51:32And you will continue to until you let these bags go.

00:51:37And until we start to say, wait a minute.

00:51:43I never claimed to be a genius, but I lived long enough to see this right here.

00:51:48And when you realize it and recognize it and make certain moves to make sure that we don't fall in those same traps.

00:51:55Then we get rewarded and we'll be able to go to the next level.

00:52:01If you're tired of playing the same game over and over again, because remember, this is the game of life.

00:52:08And if you experience the same things over and over again, the same people over and over again, same personality types over and over again, the only person that you can blame is you.

00:52:24And I know that that's harsh, but I had to realize that I can't be blaming these people.

00:52:31Why is it that I keep meeting the same type of person over and over and over again?

00:52:34Why do these relationships continue to be the same exact way?

00:52:39This can't be this.

00:52:41This can't be life.

00:52:42There has to be more than this.

00:52:46Once I realized that I was the one drawing these people to me because I was vibrating on a specific frequency, an unhealthy frequency, that's all you don't get.

00:52:59So you have to raise your vibration, start vibrating on a higher frequency.

00:53:07And the only way that that's going to happen is if you do something a little bit different, do something different today than what you did yesterday.

00:53:17Keep the same thoughts.

00:53:21Repeat the same habits.

00:53:23Thank you so much for joining.

00:53:25Go to the same places.

00:53:27Hang out with the same people.

00:53:29Talk to the same people.

00:53:31Eat the same food you were eating.

00:53:34Drink the same drinks that you're drinking.

00:53:37The list goes on and on and on.

00:53:40You're going to get what you continuously have been getting.

00:53:44Want to do something different?

00:53:46We got to make different choices.

00:53:52Are you clinging on to who you used to be instead of building who you're meant to be?

00:54:00Clinging on the person who you used to be?

00:54:01Whatever mommy said you were?

00:54:03Whatever daddy said you were?

00:54:04Whatever your family said you were?

00:54:06Whatever that old relationship said you were?

00:54:11Whatever that old employer said you were?

00:54:14Whatever those fake friends, foes that claim that they love you?

00:54:17Whatever they said you were?

00:54:19Are you clinging on to that person?

00:54:23Knowing deep down inside that something's resonating with you to do something and to be something a little bit different?

00:54:30The only way that you're going to get it is if you do something a little different.

00:54:39Are you clinging to who you used to be instead of building who you're meant to be?

00:54:44Tonight's burning question.

00:54:45If you want to chime in on tonight's burning question, please do me a favor.

00:54:50Text me.

00:54:52609-210-98.

00:54:54You can also email me at info at laryngaines.com.

00:54:58If you have any scenarios that you'd like me to go over, anything you'd like me to bring up here on the 4-in-1 podcast or Read Between the Wines, you can go ahead and submit that to me.

00:55:10You may also DM me on any of my social media platforms, Facebook, Instagram, X, YouTube, TikTok, DLive, Twitch, Dailymotion.

00:55:20Everything is at laryngaines.

00:55:22And if there is anything that sparked some flavor in you tonight, you can head over to laryngaines.com.

00:55:33You can sign up for my 15-minute consultation.

00:55:37This is for anyone who is interested in debt-free living.

00:55:41I am so overjoyed.

00:55:44I feel blessed as I, like I said, step into my purpose.

00:55:55I've been doing this thing since 2022 when it comes to my, I'm trying to get the right words,

00:56:07when it comes to my education in this field of financial literacy.

00:56:14I've been doing it since 2022.

00:56:18However, I sat on it for a minute and I felt that I wasn't ready to bring it to the world.

00:56:26And I'm, even this year, 2025, with all of the knowledge that I gained over the years and my continued education,

00:56:36I had to tell myself, you know what, Laren?

00:56:40Just step into the purpose of who you are supposed to be.

00:56:45Just step out there.

00:56:47Step out on faith.

00:56:49Just put it out there.

00:56:50Because if you continue to hold it in, nothing's guaranteed tomorrow.

00:56:55I don't know whether I'm going to wake up the next day.

00:56:58I need to just continue to go with it and put it out there.

00:57:01But I have to say that I am so overjoyed with the progress so far, with the outcome so far, with the results so far.

00:57:11And I have so much more to do.

00:57:14So many great things are coming.

00:57:16So many great things that I'm going to be sharing with the whole Black Diamond consultation community.

00:57:28I can officially say that I have become this financial nerd and I am so happy with it.

00:57:39I'm so happy with it.

00:57:40Like, it's like, finally, it's that one thing that clicked that I'm just so focused on it.

00:57:50Because one thing that I've learned,

00:57:52when it comes to debt,

00:57:58once you finally say enough is enough and you get sick and tired of being sick and tired of yourself,

00:58:04and you know how nasty and powerful debt can be and how it can ruin lives and how it can disrupt families and how it could destroy marriages and it's an ugly thing.

00:58:17And I realized that I disliked it so much that I disliked the person that it made me become when I was underneath that type of spirit,

00:58:34that type of poor influence, that type of curse.

00:58:39I'm going to keep it real, that I never, as long as I'm living, and even when I'm not living, I do not want my family to experience it.

00:58:51I don't want my children to experience it.

00:58:53I don't want my grandchildren to experience it.

00:58:55I don't want my great-grandchildren to experience it.

00:58:58I don't want any of my generation to ever experience being in debt.

00:59:03So I have to work super hard,

00:59:06break through all types of walls,

00:59:11barriers,

00:59:12foundations,

00:59:15to build this large gap,

00:59:19to build this large mountain,

00:59:22to build this large

00:59:23country,

00:59:26to build this large continent,

00:59:28whatever the hell I got to build in between me and debt

00:59:30to make sure that it never catches up to me again.

00:59:34Absolutely not.

00:59:37If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired of yourself,

00:59:41of your own current financial situation,

00:59:43or maybe you're in a good situation,

00:59:45but you feel that it might could be better,

00:59:50head on over to LarianGaines.com,

00:59:52sign up for that free 15-minute consultation.

00:59:56Let's have a conversation.

00:59:58Apply to see if you qualify.

01:00:01This is not for everybody.

01:00:03And I'll be the first person to say,

01:00:05I'm sorry,

01:00:05this won't work.

01:00:06I can't help you.

01:00:09I'll give you an example.

01:00:11I get people who try to

01:00:13receive

01:00:15financial coaching.

01:00:19They're on one page

01:00:20and their spouse is on another page.

01:00:21both in the same household,

01:00:24both doing our own different separate things.

01:00:27One likes to save.

01:00:29One likes to spend like crazy.

01:00:31For me personally,

01:00:33I wouldn't want to touch that situation.

01:00:38I can guide you in the right direction,

01:00:39give you some tools and some advice

01:00:41as far as what we can do to try to

01:00:43mellow some things out a little bit.

01:00:46But for me personally,

01:00:48unless both parties are on the same page

01:00:50and willing to make this thing work,

01:00:52that would be something that

01:00:55I would probably not want to

01:00:56step in.

01:01:00All different types of scenarios.

01:01:02Your scenario is not like the next person.

01:01:04Vice versa.

01:01:05If you're curious,

01:01:08something sparked,

01:01:11you want to learn more,

01:01:13you're not happy with your current situations,

01:01:17sign up for that free 15-minute consultation.

01:01:21If you have any questions,

01:01:23you may also text me as well.

01:01:25609-200-1098.

01:01:28You can also sign up for my

01:01:30monthly newsletter,

01:01:32Whispers of Wisdom,

01:01:33awesome inspirational content

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01:01:36once a month.

01:01:38Again,

01:01:38everything is at

01:01:39Layering Gains for that.

01:01:41The whole concept of

01:01:43Black Diamond consultations,

01:01:47411 podcast,

01:01:49Reading Between the Wines,

01:01:51it shifted.

01:01:53That's how passionate about it.

01:01:54I shifted everything

01:01:56to focus on debt-free living

01:01:58from the lenses of

01:02:01spiritual,

01:02:01mental,

01:02:02physical,

01:02:03and financial.

01:02:04That's how serious I'm about it.

01:02:06Whatever we were talking about before,

01:02:08whatever we had going on years ago

01:02:09since we started in 2020,

01:02:11now we have evolved

01:02:12and we're here

01:02:13and I'm pressing the gas

01:02:16and we're going to new heights.

01:02:19And with that,

01:02:20I have to say thank you so much

01:02:22to everybody out there

01:02:23who still continues to rock with me.

01:02:26I have great content coming for those.

01:02:28Thank you so much out there.

01:02:30I appreciate you

01:02:31and we're going to do this thing here again.

01:02:34We have

01:02:34Wine Down Wednesday tomorrow.

01:02:38My friend,

01:02:39author Birdman313

01:02:41will be coming in

01:02:42and I think tomorrow

01:02:43I am going to sample

01:02:45some Sabe and Blanc.

01:02:49Wine Down Wednesday.

01:02:53Same issue.

01:02:54Different day.

01:02:56We're talking about money.

01:02:58We're talking about

01:02:59real life situations here

01:03:00and

01:03:01we'll see what comes up tomorrow.

01:03:04We're going to wind down

01:03:05a little bit,

01:03:06have a little laughter,

01:03:08but we realize

01:03:09that this thing is still serious

01:03:11so we have some real topics

01:03:12that we discuss

01:03:13but just in a different setting.

01:03:16Same place.

01:03:20Same time.

01:03:22Reading Between the Wines

01:03:24tomorrow night.

01:03:25Author Birdman313.

01:03:27Come check us out.

01:03:30And I want to say

01:03:31thank you, thank you,

01:03:31thank you so much for joining

01:03:33and I will see you

01:03:34when I see you.

01:03:35Three,

01:03:36two,

01:03:37one.

01:03:38And that's a wrap

01:03:39on today's episode

01:03:40of the 411 podcast

01:03:42and reading between the wines

01:03:43where growth is always

01:03:45on the menu

01:03:45and every pour reveals

01:03:47a little more truth.

01:03:49The conversation

01:03:50doesn't end here.

01:03:51Have something to say?

01:03:53Want to weigh in

01:03:54on tonight's burning questions?

01:03:56Text us anytime

01:03:57at the official 411 podcast

01:03:59and reading between the wines

01:04:01hotline at

01:04:02609-200-1098.

01:04:06Stay plugged in

01:04:07across all social media platforms

01:04:09at Laring Gains.

01:04:10We're live and in the conversation

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01:04:14TikTok,

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01:04:16Twitch,

01:04:17and Dailymotion.

01:04:19Prefer to listen on the go?

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01:04:22on most major podcast outlets.

01:04:25Until we meet again,

01:04:26take what you've learned,

01:04:27sip slow,

01:04:28speak truth,

01:04:29and remember,

01:04:30transformation starts

01:04:31within.

01:04:33Powered by the Black Diamond

01:04:34Consultations Network.

01:04:35music playing xxs .

01:04:39music playing azim lequel

01:04:41of the Black Diamond

01:04:41destruction

01:04:41and facebook

01:04:45annya

01:04:45présence

01:04:45in the in-

01:04:46контрominium

01:04:47andęs 存st attent

01:04:48from daher

01:04:49and is 몰라

01:04:50of the Black Diamond

01:04:50and his permanent

01:04:51енной

01:04:51theme

01:04:51episode

01:04:52as well.

01:04:54We'll see you again

01:04:55the next time

01:04:55with the Fox

01:04:56and the Black Diamond

01:04:56maric

01:05:01of the Black Diamond

01:05:02and how

01:05:02of the Black Diamond

01:05:02and the Black Diamond

Weight of the World | DISC 5: Restoration | 411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines (Episode 30)

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