Skip to playerSkip to main contentSkip to footer
RETRO TV
  • 6 days ago

Category

📺
TV
Transcript
00:00So, right, I said to her, I said, Bernice, I said.
00:09Yeah, what, that her name, is it?
00:12Bernice?
00:13Yeah, Trig, that's why I called her Bernice, you know.
00:15Right.
00:16I said, don't play with me, girl, because you are playing with fire.
00:20I said, don't you dare try and tie me down.
00:23She's into all that, is she?
00:26No, Trig, I meant, you know, spiritual sort of way.
00:29I mean, she's not, no.
00:31See, because I'm a free agent, Trig, right?
00:33Wherever I lay my hat, right, that's my home.
00:36That's the sort of guy I am.
00:37Yeah.
00:39You've got a hat now, then, have you, darling?
00:44No, no, Trig, it's a saying, you know.
00:46Anyway.
00:47I had a hat once.
00:48Yeah?
00:49So I could see she was upset, you know.
00:52Someone nicked it at a party.
00:54Really?
00:55Yeah, well, she was crying, begging me not to leave her.
00:58And my return ticket in a brim.
01:01Yeah?
01:01I had to walk all the way home from Plumstead.
01:05I'm going to phone Dale, see if he can come down for a time.
01:08What colour was you at, Dave?
01:11Pink.
01:12Same here.
01:15Oh, sorry.
01:17You will be if it happens again, sonny.
01:21Trigger!
01:22Trigger!
01:22Trigger!
01:24Oh.
01:25Er, whatcha, Roy?
01:28Long time, eh?
01:30What brings you round this way?
01:32I thought you were stationed in West London.
01:34I missed you all, didn't I?
01:36Got myself transferred back to the old parish.
01:38And it's not Roy anymore.
01:41You can call me Mr Slater,
01:44Detective Inspector Slater,
01:46or just plain sir.
01:48Mine's a large scotch.
01:48Oh, right.
01:49Er, large scotch, love.
01:52Know anything about a microwave oven?
01:54Er, no, I'm no good with electrics and that.
01:56No, I didn't ask you to mend the bleeding thing.
01:58I'm talking about a stolen microwave oven.
02:02Someone lifted one off the back of a lorry
02:04in Lewisham Grove earlier on.
02:06Yeah?
02:07Some people.
02:08Yeah, some people.
02:10So, what are you up to these days, Trigger?
02:13Still doing a double act with Monkey Harris?
02:15Er, no, I ain't seen Monkey for ages.
02:17What about Boise?
02:19I don't know, I ain't seen him for years.
02:21Really?
02:22Now about my favourite man,
02:24how's good old Del Boy keeping?
02:26I haven't a clue.
02:27I ain't seen him for a long time.
02:28No, you ain't seen much of anything lately, have you?
02:30You ought to eat more carrots, Trigger.
02:32LAUGHTER
02:33Well, upon my soul,
02:37it's Boise!
02:37Oh, no, Roy.
02:42What a nice surprise.
02:43Yeah, what a coincidence as well.
02:47Eh?
02:48You two should just happen to be drinking in the same pub.
02:51I mean, how long is it since you last saw Trigger?
02:55Oh, er, must be, er, at least, er, two months.
03:00I'll trigger, say, years.
03:01Oh, yeah, no, you can't imagine.
03:03It must be two years time does fly, don't you?
03:05LAUGHTER
03:05Certainly does.
03:07Seems like only yesterday I was pounding the beat around here.
03:12They were their good old days, weren't they, eh?
03:15Terrific.
03:20Great.
03:22How's Marlene these days?
03:24Oh, you know, still the same.
03:26Is she?
03:27Dear, dear, dear.
03:28LAUGHTER
03:29I heard that you're dabbling in the video game.
03:34Oh, yes, er, just, er, sideline, you know.
03:37I heard a whisper that you're flogging pirate tapes.
03:42Yeah.
03:43Treasure Island, mutiny on about.
03:45LAUGHTER
03:45I'm surprised to hear Dalboy's still at the same place.
03:52Yeah, still there.
03:53Oh, he's, er, thinking of moving.
03:56No.
03:57Emigrating, actually.
03:59Emigrating?
04:00Yes, I bet these developing nations are crying out for fly pictures.
04:04LAUGHTER
04:05Well, I must be off.
04:08So soon?
04:10After all these years, I thought you two would have a lot to talk about.
04:12Yeah, well, er, we do, but, er, I have just seen a business acquaintance of mine.
04:18Hi, Rodney.
04:19Well, ha-ha, see you, Roy.
04:21Yeah, see you, boys.
04:22Give my love to Marlene.
04:26Everyone else used to.
04:27LAUGHTER
04:27Rodney, weren't Dal's kid brother called Rodney?
04:34Oh, I don't know, Mr Slater.
04:36No, you're deaf, dumb and blind these days, ain't you?
04:38I bet you're a wizard on the pinball machine.
04:41Oh, no.
04:42Rodney, nice to see you again.
04:46I see, I was talking with you last night.
04:49Oh, oh, were you?
04:50Oh, oh, yeah, of course your memory must be slipping well.
04:53LAUGHTER
04:53Take care of yourself.
04:55See you around.
04:56Yeah, see you, boys.
05:01What's that?
05:02Don't tell me.
05:03You're Dal boy's brother, Rodney, am I right?
05:05Yeah.
05:07I was at school with Dal.
05:09Sat next to him in class.
05:10Haven't seen you since he was a little nipper.
05:12Really?
05:13What's your name?
05:14The dead... Roy.
05:15Roy Slater.
05:17Roy Slater.
05:18No, no, I can't recall him mentioning it.
05:20Perhaps he called you by a nickname.
05:21Yeah.
05:22Knowing Del, that's about it.
05:25Well, I'm away now, Mr Slater.
05:28Yeah.
05:28Behave yourself, Trigger.
05:29That's a good trick.
05:30Well, well, well.
05:37What is up with everyone today?
05:39They've been at the booze, haven't they?
05:41Oh.
05:41So, fancy bumping into you?
05:44Shame Del boy couldn't have made it.
05:46Well, do you know, I just this minute come off a phone to him.
05:49He was coming down for a swift one, but he got involved with a bit of business.
05:52Something to do with a microwave oven or something.
05:54Well, I'd love to have met him again.
05:59It would have been a real surprise for him.
06:01Well, I tell you what, why don't you come back to the flat and have a beer?
06:04Could I?
06:06Oh, that would be smashing.
06:07Yeah, yeah.
06:08I'll go and give him a bell.
06:09No!
06:10Hey, spoiler surprise.
06:12Oh, yeah.
06:13Hey, I can't wait to see his face when you come through the door, eh?
06:16It'll be a picture, Rodney.
06:20It'll be a picture.
06:28I mean, I don't ask much of you, do I?
06:30But even when I ask you to do the simplest things, you let me down.
06:33Oh, shut up.
06:35She won't want to know me now, will she?
06:37Not after last night.
06:38I ain't bothered.
06:40Viting her all the way over from Canning Town for a nice, quiet, intimate, candlelit dinner.
06:44And all I asked you to do was to put my box of wine in the fridge
06:48and my tub of Neapolitan ice cream in the freezer.
06:51But no, you get that arse about face, don't you?
06:54So come nine o'clock, all I could offer her was a bowl of gunge and a Beaujolais ice lolly.
07:01And my entire evening it did.
07:03What are you doing?
07:05I'm trying to get the Dukes of Hazard.
07:11The Dukes of Hazard.
07:13This is a microwave oven, you dozy old tronk.
07:18Bennett, you'll be putting frozen pizzas into the portable next.
07:22Come out of the way, will you?
07:24Lucky you didn't barbecue yourself.
07:26Now just leave it alone.
07:29Oi, Del.
07:29Yeah?
07:30Guess who I met down the pub, then.
07:32Whoever she is, don't invite her back here for dinner.
07:35No, it's one of your old schoolmates.
07:38Hello, Del boy.
07:40Long time, eh?
07:41Slater.
07:46In all me glory.
07:48I told you you'd be surprised, didn't I?
07:50Yeah.
07:52Is this your granddad?
07:54No, that's the au pair, innit?
07:57What's your granddad?
07:59You wouldn't remember me.
08:01Roy Slater.
08:02I used to be in Del's class at school.
08:05Well, well, that's a turn-up for the book, innit, Del boy?
08:08Yeah, innit just.
08:10Rodney, get Roy one of them lagers in the fridge.
08:13Yeah, right.
08:15Yeah, well, I'll just, uh...
08:16Yeah, I'll just give Rodney a hand.
08:18You carry on now.
08:22Bloody hell are you trying to do to me?
08:24How do you know who that is?
08:26Yeah, he said he was an old mate.
08:27He's not an old mate.
08:28He's an old Bill.
08:28And when I say an old Bill, I mean an old Bill.
08:31That geezer out there would nick you for anything that you did.
08:33In fact, he'd nick you for anything you didn't do.
08:35And he wouldn't let a silly thing like innocence get in the way.
08:38I didn't have a clue, Del, I swear.
08:40Oh, you wally.
08:42All right, I've got to play this nice and cagey.
08:47Now, listen.
08:48You've got to be careful what you say to him
08:50because that fellow in there, he collects informers
08:52the way other people collect stamps.
08:54He's got a few grasses, is he?
08:55No, he ain't got a few grasses, Rodney.
08:57He's got an entire lawn.
09:00But you go back in there.
09:02Only speak when you're spoken to
09:03and then keep it down to a simple yes or no.
09:06Think before you blink.
09:07And if God's smiling on us, we might get away with it, all right?
09:10Get them beers.
09:10Does it cook as quickly as they claim?
09:13Oh, I don't know so much about that, son.
09:16We haven't used it yet.
09:18No?
09:19That's strange.
09:22Feels hot.
09:24Yeah.
09:25Yeah, we are.
09:25Come and cool your fingers down on this, Roy, my boy.
09:27There you go.
09:29Here.
09:29How's the police force treating you?
09:31Police?
09:32Not too bad.
09:34I got promoted a while back.
09:35I'm Detective Inspector now.
09:37Oh, congratulations.
09:38A few years from now, you could be advertising tyres.
09:45That's the family.
09:46I don't see much of them these days, Dal.
09:49The old man's still not talking to me.
09:52No, well, he's probably still got the needle over that time you nicked him.
09:56He nicked his own father?
09:57I had no choice.
09:59If there'd been a way of avoiding it, I would have.
10:02But his rear light was defective.
10:07I mean, what else could I do?
10:09This is true.
10:10You'd only borrowed the bike to go down to fish shop and all that.
10:12That's right.
10:16It was just a twist of fate.
10:19But you've got to understand that at the time, I was young and keen.
10:23Now that I'm older and more experienced, I regret doing it.
10:28Leave it out, Slater.
10:29You've never regretted a nick in your life.
10:31Oh, now, that's not fair, Dal.
10:33You're judging me by the Roy Slater that you used to know.
10:39But I've changed in lots of ways.
10:42Things that were important to me in the past mean nothing now.
10:48I used to be enthusiastic, career-minded.
10:51But what have you got at the end of the day?
10:53You've won your stripes and lost your friends.
10:58Come on, Roy.
11:00You didn't lose your friends.
11:02No?
11:04No, you didn't have any to lose in the first place.
11:08Yeah.
11:10I suppose you're right.
11:13Dal, maybe one evening, if you're not too busy,
11:17we could have a couple of beers together.
11:20Yeah, well, see how it goes, shall we?
11:24Yeah, all right.
11:27Thanks for the drink.
11:30It's nice seeing you all again.
11:33I'll see myself out.
11:38Oh, by the way, you're all under arrest.
11:40Yes, sir.
11:45Oh, yes, sir.
11:45Well, thank you very much, sir.
11:47Very nice of you to say so.
11:49Well, I can only have them for receiving, sir,
11:52but one of them's an old mate,
11:55and I get the feeling that if I treat him nicely enough,
11:58he might be persuaded to volunteer the name of the real thief.
12:02Oh, yes, sir, you know me, sir.
12:06I play everything by the book, sir.
12:10Well, there's three of them, actually, sir.
12:13Yes, I arrested them single-handed.
12:15Well, I don't think of the danger, sir.
12:19I simply see it as my duty.
12:24Well, I'll get back to you, sir,
12:25as soon as I've got some information.
12:27OK, sir.
12:28Thank you very much, sir.
12:30Thank you once again, sir.
12:33OK, sir.
12:35Bye for now, sir.
12:36Bye.
12:36Do you know who that was?
12:41The wife.
12:46That was the assistant commissioner.
12:49You want to be a bit more careful about your elf, son.
12:53In the last half hour, you've done so much boot-looking,
12:56you could be going down with cherry-bossom poisoning.
13:01Have you informed them of their rights, constable?
13:04Oh, yes, sir.
13:06Yeah.
13:06And I demand the right to phone my solicitor.
13:09Sit down and behave yourself.
13:10I'm saying nothing till I phone my solicitor.
13:12Go on, then.
13:13Phone your solicitor.
13:13I haven't got a solicitor.
13:16Don't waste my bloody time, then.
13:19Just calm down, will you?
13:20Just calm down.
13:23Now, listen, Slater.
13:23I think I've found a way in which we can clear this mess up.
13:27What?
13:27You tell me the name of the person who nicked the microwave?
13:30No.
13:31I give you 50 quid and you let us go.
13:34I didn't hear that, Del.
13:38I said I give you 50 quid now.
13:42Did you hear that, Hoskins?
13:44Oh, yes, sir.
13:45Loud and clear.
13:47Oh, you really are a star, Del boy.
13:51You really are a star.
13:53You are now down for receiving stolen goods
13:55and attempting to bribe a police officer.
13:58You never complained about it before.
14:00Did you hear that, Hoskins?
14:02Sorry, sir.
14:03Miles away.
14:05Right.
14:07Who are Finch the microwave?
14:10Was it Trigger?
14:12Come along, gentlemen.
14:13I want a name.
14:13We found it, didn't we, Rodney?
14:17Yeah.
14:18Yeah.
14:18Down the market.
14:20This bloke sort of dropped it.
14:22Oh, he dropped it, did he?
14:25Didn't you call after him?
14:27Oh, yeah, but he was a bit mutton, wasn't he?
14:31Oh, I see.
14:34Well, that explains it.
14:36I just wish you'd told me earlier
14:38and it had saved us all this trouble.
14:42It's easily done, Constable.
14:44You're walking along the street,
14:45your mind on other things.
14:47You take your handkerchief out of your pocket,
14:48bang, your microwave falls on you.
14:52Take these two down the corridor
14:53and put them in separate rooms.
14:56I'll be along later to get their descriptions
14:58of this stone-deaf villain.
15:00And oi, no conferring.
15:03Splitting stars for ten now.
15:06I see Boyce's selling pirate videos now.
15:17Yeah.
15:18Is he?
15:19Which number King's Avenue does he leave?
15:22I don't know, but you can't miss his house.
15:24It's the one with the Jolly Roger
15:25frying from the chimney.
15:28Oh.
15:30That takes me back, dull boy.
15:34Do you remember when we was kids?
15:36Used to go over the ponds to play at pirates.
15:39You were Dan Tempest.
15:42Trigger was Long John Silver.
15:45And what character did I play, Del?
15:47You played the bloke what walked the plank.
15:52Oh, yeah.
15:54The bloke that walked the plank.
15:56I was always the bloke that walked the plank, wasn't I?
15:58I must have been in and out of that pond more times than a duck's head.
16:05I always wanted to be Bluebeard.
16:08Well, you should have said so.
16:09I did say, but you would never let me.
16:11I did.
16:12Once.
16:13Oh, yeah.
16:14I remember.
16:15And that was the day Bluebeard had to walk the plank, wasn't it?
16:22I tried to be friendly, Slater, but you were such a schneid, there was no helping you.
16:27You tried to be friendly?
16:28Like when?
16:29Like when?
16:30Well, do you remember that time when all the boys dragged you to the ground and Fatty Walker
16:33sat on your face and Trigger put all that itching powder on your belly button?
16:39Vaguely.
16:40Yeah.
16:40Well, I was the one that made them stop at your belly button.
16:44They were all for having your braces off.
16:46And how did you repay my act of kindness?
16:49You caught me behind the bike shed with some burden you went and told the headmaster.
16:52That was my sister.
16:54See, you always let personal feelings creep into it, didn't you?
16:58Right.
16:58Down to business.
16:59The face who dropped the microwave oven in the market, what'd he look like?
17:03Oh, he's about average height.
17:06He was a great big tall fellow.
17:09Oh, he was little more than a dwarf.
17:12Age?
17:13About 25.
17:15Middle 50s.
17:17Oh, he was just a kid.
17:20What about his ethnic group?
17:23I didn't notice anyone with him.
17:27No, I mean, was he Caucasian?
17:29Oh, no, he was a white fellow.
17:31He was African, I think.
17:42Is he allowed to keep us here this long?
17:44No.
17:45Does that mean we can go, then?
17:46No.
17:47Well, you shouldn't get yourself involved with hooky gear, should you?
17:53No, you're absolutely right, young Terry.
17:57How's that gas fire I sold your mum?
17:59All right, is it?
18:00Oh, yeah.
18:01Cheers, Dil.
18:02Look, why don't you do yourself a favour and give him the name of the bloke?
18:06He'll get it out of you in the end.
18:08He always does.
18:09Slater's a nasty piece of work.
18:13The only people that hate him more than the villains is us coppers.
18:19Supposing I gave him the bloke's name, what would happen to him?
18:24Yeah, look.
18:25See that filing cabinet over there?
18:28That is full to the top with unsold crimes.
18:32Slater would lay the whole lot on the bloke.
18:34So after only two weeks at the station, he'll have doubled the conviction rate.
18:38The public are reassured, Slater gets his promotion,
18:42and the commander takes another step closer to his CBE.
18:45And everybody's happy.
18:47Yeah.
18:47All except the poor sod who's gone down the Kermit.
18:50No, I'm not going to tell him nothing.
18:52Well, watch out for him, Del.
18:54He's got no scruples.
18:55He'll try anything.
18:58All right, Hoskins.
18:59Going to have your supper break now.
19:01Oh, thank you very much, sir.
19:02Shame the canteen's just closed, isn't it?
19:09Sorry, Del, did you want a cup of tea?
19:10No, it's all right, Slater. I had one yesterday.
19:12Good.
19:20Sorry, Del boy.
19:21I'm just reading these descriptions of the phantom of the market.
19:26Oh, it's good, Del, it's good.
19:27According to you and your family, we are looking for a six-foot-seven-inch dwarf,
19:34aged between 15 and 50,
19:38a white male with oriental features,
19:41who's as black as Newgate's knock-up.
19:43Oh, yeah, he wears a deaf-aid.
19:49Not a lot to go on, Inspector Park.
19:53Take this lot into court.
19:54I could have you for perjury as well.
19:56I just found this in our records department.
20:01I hope it's Barry Manilow.
20:04No, it's not Barry Manilow, Del.
20:07It says here, criminal file number 94628, stroke A76,
20:14name Trotter.
20:15Rodney.
20:17Now, listen, Slater Roy.
20:20Now, just...
20:21Here, now, come on.
20:23Let's leave Rodney out of this, eh?
20:25He was a right little scallywag at that art school, weren't he?
20:29Getting caught in some tarts room, puffing a Moroccan woodbine.
20:33Now, listen, he was innocent.
20:35Well, not according to this, he weren't.
20:37He only went down to her room to borrow some charcoal.
20:41Whatever he was smoking,
20:43when the police burst in,
20:45it weren't charcoal, Del.
20:48Now, I wonder what would happen if,
20:51horror of horrors,
20:52I was to discover an illegal substance
20:56in one of Rodney's pockets.
20:59Now, leave it out, Slater.
21:01You know Rodney's got nothing in his pockets.
21:03Soon remedied.
21:05I see.
21:05And what are you going to stitch Grandad up with, eh?
21:07Found in possession of a forged bus pass?
21:11Demanding protection money
21:12from the local Derby and Joan club?
21:15No.
21:16I see that Grandad's kept out of this.
21:19And while you and Rodney are away,
21:21sewing mailbags,
21:23Grandad'll be back on the estate.
21:25Alone.
21:26And just what is that supposed to mean?
21:31Dangerous places, them estates, Del.
21:33I do hope Grandad doesn't fall victim
21:36to the mindless filth that walks our streets.
21:38I thought you drove everywhere nowadays.
21:42Listen to me, Slater.
21:43I know a lot of coppers
21:44and they're all good blokes.
21:46I mean, I don't like them,
21:47but they play a fair game.
21:49And then there's you.
21:50You dirty, stinking...
21:52Steady, Del.
21:54I don't want to have to add abusive language
21:56to your ever-growing list of offences.
21:58I might not have room on the charge sheet.
22:01You and young Rodney
22:02are going down for at least a year apiece
22:05unless you give me the name
22:07of the mush who nicked the microwave.
22:09Oh, leave it out, Slater.
22:10You know I can't do that.
22:11It's against my principles.
22:13My mum would turn in her grave
22:14if she knew I'd become a copper's narc.
22:16Well, you're going to have a lot of time
22:17to think about your principles.
22:19I hope the porridge ain't too lumpy.
22:21I'll get the charge sheets typed up.
22:25Just a minute, Roy.
22:28No, let's not be hasty.
22:31I think we can make a deal.
22:33I don't like deals.
22:34You're going to like this one?
22:35If I give you the name of the bloke
22:38that stole that oven,
22:40you'll let Rodney and Grandad go.
22:43No charges.
22:46Yeah, all right.
22:46I'll let them go.
22:48And you'll also drop all charges against me.
22:51Oh, come on, Del.
22:52I'm looking forward to that.
22:55I can't seem to understand
22:56what I'm saying, Slater.
22:58Once I give you the bloke's name,
23:02I'll be one of your grasses.
23:05Oh, Del.
23:10Del boy.
23:13That is beautiful.
23:15You would be one of my merry men.
23:19I'd have you in my pocket.
23:20I could bounce you about
23:22and make you dance
23:23whenever I felt bored.
23:25And if you ever stepped out of line,
23:27I'd let it be known on the streets
23:28that you're an informer.
23:32Yeah, I know.
23:33The deal's on, my old oppo.
23:36I'll drop the charges against you.
23:37You have my word.
23:39Your word?
23:40Your word means about as much to me
23:42as the guarantee on that hooky microwave.
23:44Now, I want immunity from prosecution.
23:47And I want it in writing,
23:48and I want it signed, sealed, and delivered.
23:50I'll get it arranged right away, Derek.
23:54Oh, we're going to have a good future together,
23:56you and me.
23:57I can feel it.
24:00What's up, Del?
24:02Cursing the day you crossed me?
24:05No.
24:06I'm cursing the day I made them
24:08stop at your belly button.
24:09Why's he keeping Del Boy in there?
24:30That is about the 38th time
24:34you've asked me that
24:35in the last half hour.
24:37And for the 38th time, Grandad,
24:38I'm telling you,
24:39I don't know.
24:41Well, I thought he'd just
24:42charge Del with receiving,
24:44he'd get a £50 fine,
24:46and then he'd all be forgot about.
24:48Yeah, that's what I thought.
24:50So did I.
24:55So why's he keeping him in there?
24:58Oh, bless my old brother.
24:59I don't bloody know, Grandad.
25:02Oh, wouldn't he?
25:04Look, I thought I told you two
25:05you were free to go.
25:07Oh, we thought we'd hang on a while.
25:09Yeah, it's good here, isn't it?
25:15Still here.
25:16We're waiting for Del.
25:18Will he be long, son?
25:20Only as long as it takes him
25:21to tell me who nicked the microwave.
25:22Better get our heads down
25:24till the morning, then.
25:25I don't know.
25:26Del's seen the light.
25:27He's decided to cooperate.
25:29No, you're pulling our legs.
25:32Do you reckon?
25:33Why don't you come in
25:33and see for yourselves?
25:34Come on.
25:36All right, Hoskins, away you go.
25:37Canteen's open now.
25:38Oh, thank you very much, sir.
25:40There you are, Del Boy.
25:42Your immunity from prosecution
25:44signed by the superintendent himself.
25:46What are you playing at, Del?
25:48What are they doing here?
25:51Oh, I thought it'd be interesting
25:52for them to see you
25:54in your real light.
25:55The great Del Boy.
25:57The man who could talk his way
25:59out of a room with no doors.
26:01Reduced to this.
26:02Grassing.
26:02God, tell him, Rodney.
26:08He's got me all ends up.
26:10I've got no choice.
26:12But you don't know his name, Del.
26:14He was just a bloke in the market.
26:17Leave it out, Grandad.
26:18If Mr Slater was to believe
26:21our descriptions,
26:22he'd have his men searching
26:24for someone who's across
26:24between Tom Fum
26:25and the Jolly Green Giant.
26:28Oh, we're the deaf aid.
26:31Deaf aid.
26:33Rodney, I wasn't doing it
26:34just for myself.
26:36He threatened to plant something
26:37on you and set you up
26:38for a bit of bird.
26:41That is against the law.
26:43Phone the police.
26:46Don't tell him, Del.
26:48I've got to, Rodney.
26:50Otherwise, it'll mean
26:51you and me go down the road
26:52and Grandad's going to be
26:54left alone on the estate, see?
26:58I've got no choice.
27:01I've got no choice.
27:04All right, Mr Slater,
27:05let's get down to business.
27:07Oh, Del.
27:09Del boy, those words
27:10are music to my ears.
27:14I will cherish this moment.
27:18Right, Odell.
27:20Who nicked it?
27:21They are free to go, aren't they?
27:24Yeah, they're free to go.
27:25No charges.
27:26They can leave
27:26whenever they like.
27:28Okay, give me his name.
27:30You've got nothing on me, either.
27:31No, you've got an immunity
27:33from prosecution.
27:34You've got less chance
27:35of a pool than a queen.
27:36As long as I know.
27:38Right.
27:39For the third
27:39and last time of asking,
27:42who nicked the microwave
27:43off the back of the lorry?
27:50I did.
27:50I did.
27:51I did.
27:51I did.
27:51I did.
27:52I did.
27:52I did.
27:52I did.
27:52I did.
27:53I did.
27:53I did.
27:53I did.
27:54I did.
27:54I did.
27:54I did.
27:54I did.
27:54I did.
27:55I did.
27:55I did.
27:55I did.
27:55I did.
27:56I did.
27:56I did.
27:56I did.
27:56I did.
27:56I did.