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It's double trouble with twin girls at mealtimes, out shopping and in the car. Will Supernanny succeed in establishing boundaries and acceptable behavior?
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00:01Tonight on SuperNan, Jo meets the Jeans family.
00:04I see you.
00:05Stop it.
00:06And takes on their devilish daughter.
00:08My turn.
00:09And twin terrorists.
00:11She has two weeks to turn things around.
00:14That behavior will make you go and sit on that naughty stool.
00:17And restore power back to the parents.
00:19Sorry.
00:20Okay.
00:30Let's take a look and see what family I have this week.
00:51Hi.
00:52We're the Jeans family.
00:53I'm David.
00:55And I'm Barbara.
00:56I met Dave through a friend.
00:59I was set up with another guy and...
01:01Fortunately, the other guy got sick, so I saw an opportunity.
01:06We've been together for about 20 years.
01:09We were really late bloomers.
01:11We waited a long time before we had kids.
01:13And since we've had kids...
01:15Dramatic.
01:16Everything has changed.
01:21Home sweet home.
01:22We have three daughters.
01:24Andra, who's four and a half.
01:26See that much!
01:28And twins, Jesse and Leah, who just turned three.
01:31Andra tends to set the tone in our house quite a bit.
01:35Because she's so strong and she's so dominant.
01:38We're not out of trouble!
01:39No!
01:40No!
01:41No, it's my turn!
01:42Andra's very intense.
01:43Leah!
01:44She can be aggressive.
01:45Andy!
01:46She hits her sisters a lot.
01:49That is scary.
01:50Now, that behavior from Andra has got to stop.
01:53Jesse is one of our twins.
01:55She's three.
01:56If Andy does something, then Jesse does the same thing.
02:03Jesse!
02:04Jesse!
02:05He's three.
02:06He's three.
02:07Our other twin.
02:08She definitely cries a lot.
02:09I'm gonna need earplugs in this household.
02:10I have a full-time job.
02:11I usually have to travel at least once a month for at least four to five nights.
02:26I am most often the one that is home by myself with the kids.
02:34It's a pretty long and very exhausting day.
02:38Whoa!
02:39It's hard to take them anywhere by myself in public.
02:42Andra?
02:43That is scary.
02:45Leah.
02:47I have spent so much time being stressed that I haven't really been able to enjoy my kids.
02:52You hurt me!
02:54Hey!
02:55Hey!
02:56Hey!
02:57What is the problem?
02:58What is going on?
02:59What?
03:00We're looking for a lot from Super Nanny.
03:02Because we need a lot.
03:05Barbara and David, I'm on my way.
03:19Hi!
03:20I'm Jay Frost.
03:21Barbara.
03:22Nice to meet you too.
03:23Super Nanny has a very good presence.
03:25Hey David, nice to meet you.
03:26She said hello to the kids right away.
03:28Her tone was very good and upbeat.
03:31And so I was pretty pleased.
03:34Oh, are you gonna give me a hug?
03:36Hello, sweetie.
03:38Both the twins gave her a big hug.
03:40So I always read the kids.
03:42If they like her, that's a good thing.
03:44Oh, this is lovely.
03:46Hi, Andrew.
03:47Hi, Andrew.
03:48Are you gonna shake my hand and say hello?
03:50Today when I walked into the Jean family, I think there was a sigh of relief that I had arrived and was ready to take on all the issues.
04:00I'm here today.
04:01Okay.
04:02To observe and to watch how your family works.
04:05So just go about your day as normal and I know we've got issues that we're gonna talk about and address and that I'm going to help you resolve.
04:15Lovely.
04:16So I'm gonna step back and watch you guys and let you get on with it.
04:19Alrighty then.
04:20Oh, boy.
04:21Okay.
04:22Okay.
04:23Well, we're glad you're here.
04:27Come on, Andy Pandy.
04:29Andy, do you want jelly today?
04:32No.
04:33When I first walked into the house, the parents were doing breakfast.
04:36I want mommy some.
04:39Honey, that is lots of them.
04:42What's the matter?
04:43I want more chips.
04:44Jessie this morning had chips for breakfast.
04:48Is that for your breakfast?
04:50Leah did not have anything for breakfast.
04:53What's up?
04:56There isn't a routine.
04:57There isn't a structure in the house in the mornings that the children applied by.
05:03How are you going upstairs? I'll follow you up.
05:04You're getting the girls dressed.
05:06After breakfast, getting the girls dressed.
05:08That was another stressful event.
05:10How about this pink thing?
05:12Andy, want to wear this?
05:13Do I own shoes?
05:14Yeah, you do.
05:17Just going to put a shirt on, okay?
05:18Mom!
05:20All right, shoes.
05:21They seem to have walked away.
05:23The disappearing shoes.
05:25Is Andy nor me cooperative?
05:27No.
05:28Come on.
05:29So whose trainers are these?
05:30Let's wear these.
05:31No socks for you.
05:33No.
05:34Shoes again.
05:35Just missing one now.
05:36We're still looking for the red shoe.
05:38Andy's not being very cooperative with her father.
05:42We're looking for shoes again.
05:43We can't find the shoes.
05:45This house badly needs organization.
05:49I have no idea where her boots are.
05:50I found out very quickly that the household didn't have much organization at all and it was very chaotic.
05:58So Barbara, you're off to the supermarket now.
06:00Yes, we're going to go to the supermarket.
06:02It's hard to take them to the store by myself because I can't control them.
06:06Where's Jessie?
06:07She's right here.
06:08Come on.
06:09Let's get in the car.
06:10Come on, Leah.
06:11Let's get in.
06:12Sit right here.
06:13Sit right here.
06:14She's sitting right there.
06:15Get in your seat.
06:16Come on.
06:17No, don't.
06:18Not my carabou book.
06:20And that's how Andrew replies back to you?
06:22Yeah.
06:23All right, okay.
06:24I'm getting the gist of this now.
06:25Yeah.
06:26What book?
06:27My carabou book.
06:28Your carabou book you hadn't seen for a month.
06:32I did.
06:33Here's...
06:34Do you want to carry your carabou?
06:35Mm-hmm.
06:36What was that?
06:37Yeah!
06:38Just kicked him.
06:39I think it's absolutely crazy.
06:42You don't get it.
06:43I want it.
06:44Well, you kick me, you don't get anything.
06:46I'd like to be the boss.
06:47And I don't feel like I am right now, or that I ever have been.
06:51If you don't kick me for a few days, maybe I'll give your carabou book back.
06:54Hey, no!
06:55Mom?
06:56Mommy!
06:58Tantrum at his best.
07:00I want to wait!
07:02I want to wait!
07:03I want to wait!
07:04Come back, Mommy!
07:06Mommy, come back!
07:08Andra, stop!
07:09Just...
07:10Oh, my God!
07:11I can't wait to hear what you have to say.
07:14I want you!
07:16I want you, Mom, in here!
07:21It was just ridiculous.
07:23This tantrum was going on forever.
07:26I don't know how Barbara drove that car with Andra screaming the way she was.
07:32Okay, let's take it off.
07:33When we arrived at the supermarket, all three girls were arguing who was going to sit in
07:38the cart, and it was real troublesome.
07:40We're going to see if all three of you will fit.
07:43Let's see if Leah can squeeze in next to you.
07:44Let's see if Leah can squeeze in next to you.
07:45Let's see if Leah can squeeze in next to you.
07:50You're squeezing me!
07:51This is every mother's nightmare.
07:53Children playing up in the supermarket where everyone else can watch you.
07:58Don't!
07:59Jessie!
08:00Mommy, we need new paintbrushes!
08:02Hey, Jessie, what are you doing, honey?
08:04Jessie!
08:05Jessie!
08:06It was real troublesome for Barbara.
08:13It's Mommy Mommy!
08:14And then Andra was all over the place running down all the aisles.
08:18Andra?
08:19Andra?
08:20Andra?
08:21Andra?
08:22Andra?
08:23Andra?
08:24Andra?
08:25Andra?
08:26Andra?
08:27Andra?
08:28Andra?
08:29Andra?
08:30Andra?
08:31Andra?
08:32Andra!
08:36Where are you?
08:40It's a baby. It's here.
08:44Andi? Oh dear.
08:48Barbara doesn't exercise her full control as a parent
08:52when Andra is being very demanding.
08:56I think it's absolutely crazy that Barbara
09:00tolerates that kind of behaviour from Andra.
09:04Donuts! Donuts! Donuts!
09:08Please mommy! Please mommy!
09:12You need to come with me. I'll be extra good if you give me a donut.
09:16Yeah right. I'll be extra good if you give me a donut.
09:20Manipulation at its best. The supermarket run
09:24was just ridiculous. I feel that Barbara
09:28definitely needs to take control of that situation
09:32when she is shopping with all three girls.
09:36So what happens now
09:40with the girls? That's what I'm hoping
09:42you'll help me with because I don't really know.
09:44Nothing happens. I mean I have nothing
09:46scheduled with them at all.
09:56There was no structure
09:58or routine to Barbara's day
10:00at all with the children.
10:02Alright you guys. She's got so many hours
10:04with the girls and she doesn't know what to do
10:06with them.
10:08They get bored.
10:10They end up fighting with one another.
10:16Andra tends to dominate
10:18and lead the play.
10:20Andra and Sharon at the moment
10:22they don't mix.
10:24She's also very aggressive.
10:30She hits her twin sisters.
10:32Mommy!
10:34That kind of behaviour is just not acceptable
10:40and it has to be addressed.
10:42Dinner time.
10:52It's ravioli.
10:54So do the children normally eat
10:56with their hands even though they've got cutlery?
10:58Yes.
11:00I'll get your water honey.
11:02Jesse! Jesse!
11:04Sit down.
11:06Mealtimes are just hellacious for me.
11:08If we could all sit down at a meal
11:10and stay seated for ten minutes
11:12without outbursts.
11:13That would be a huge thing for me.
11:16Jesse, sit down.
11:18Andra!
11:19Get out, out, out.
11:20Sit down, sit down.
11:22That's why I want you to sit down.
11:25Mom and Dad were just trying
11:27to keep the children at the table
11:29and if I was David and Barbara
11:31I would have had indigestion.
11:32It was making me dizzy just to watch them.
11:34It was just feeding time at the zoo
11:35I think you can say to be honest.
11:37No, don't get it.
11:39Hey.
11:40And I don't want that.
11:41From this side, yeah!
11:43Oh, God almighty.
11:45It's not cold!
11:46Dinner time was ridiculous.
11:48Andra made a big fuss about not having
11:50the sippy cup that she wanted.
11:52What's wrong?
11:53Do you want it warm?
11:54Do you want this one warmed up?
11:55Warm.
11:56And I want that one.
11:57No, I want that one.
11:59Andra was not letting up.
12:01That kind of behaviour is a no-no in my book.
12:04Andra.
12:05Andra.
12:06Andra, go back and sit down.
12:08Go back and sit down.
12:09It's mine!
12:10It's mine!
12:11This one?
12:12No!
12:13No!
12:14No!
12:15Andy!
12:16Andy!
12:17Andy!
12:18I want it!
12:19Do you want to go to your room?
12:20I don't want that cup!
12:22Come on, let's go to your room.
12:23I want that cup!
12:24Come on.
12:25This child has got too much leeway.
12:30She has tantrums that the parents tolerate.
12:33It's just disgusting.
12:34It needs to change.
12:41When I'm observing in the Jean household,
12:44I take mental notes of how the family dynamics work.
12:47And then later on in the evening,
12:49we sit down and discuss the issues that need to be addressed.
12:53OK.
12:54I've made some mental notes of your wonderful family.
12:57And I would love for us to sit down and have a talk about what I've seen today.
13:01OK.
13:02OK.
13:03Let's go downstairs.
13:04OK.
13:05When Jo said that she was going to talk to us about what she had seen,
13:08my first thought was, uh-oh.
13:09You know, I was a little bit nervous.
13:12Let me begin by saying to the pair of you how proud you must be as parents
13:18to have three beautiful daughters.
13:22And so on that note, I'd like to talk about the pair of you raising your three girls
13:28and what I have seen.
13:30And the first thing that comes to mind when I walked into the house was organization.
13:36Or lack thereof.
13:37Very much so.
13:38It's very chaotic.
13:39We don't know where anything is and it causes a lot of wasted time.
13:46Also, I'd like to talk about the routine that you have in this house.
13:50It's definitely unstructured.
13:53When there isn't a routine in a house, your children don't know what's happening or what's coming next.
14:01All three of them then get really bored.
14:03What it allows the children to do is misbehave for your attention.
14:11Undra behaves in a way that I find disrespectful.
14:17She shouts and she yells.
14:20Undra, in the back of the car, crying, was absolutely mayhem.
14:26How do you focus and concentrate?
14:28Driving a car when you've got the kids screaming and having a tantrum in the back.
14:34But not once did I hear you turn around and say, stop that behavior.
14:39Today I saw classic at dinner time.
14:44Andra wanting that zippy cup.
14:47And what happened was, she had a tantrum.
14:50And when she throws a bone, you guys go and fetch.
14:58Andra's behavior with Jessie and Leah has got to stop.
15:02The snatching, the aggressiveness, that has to stop.
15:09And what's happening is, Jessie's learning.
15:12Jessie is copying.
15:15And the pair of you are not enforcing any form of discipline.
15:20You know, you have to get a grip on that.
15:26Their behavior is not acceptable.
15:28And the only two people that is putting up with that is the pair of you.
15:32You're tolerating it, you're putting up with it.
15:34And then you're wondering why your children are behaving the way they are.
15:37And as a result of all of this, I see a tired Barbara.
15:41I see a Barbara who's emotionally drained.
15:44That actually inside wants to be able to be Barbara and not mum 24-7.
15:50I'm pretty exhausted and spent.
15:57And for somebody to recognize that, that was a little emotional for me.
16:03Barbara's been exhausted since the birth of the kids.
16:06She is exhausted.
16:07It's a hard job.
16:08It was hard to hear that Andra's behavior in particular is so over the top and completely unacceptable.
16:15I see the pair of you at a point where I feel it's quite desperate.
16:19Tomorrow, we are going to change it for the better.
16:22And we're going to have positive results all the way around.
16:25So that your family is functioning a lot better.
16:28I wonder if Supernanny can pull it off, really.
16:31Because that has been my big question.
16:33My first fear is, well, maybe she'll give us these things and what if they don't work?
16:37Today, when I walked into the house, wanting change drastically, I put a routine on the wall.
16:50Okay, this is a routine.
16:52Because your house needs organization, because we can't find anything anywhere and there's no structure to the day.
17:00I've broken the whole day down for Barbara so that she knows what she's going to do with her girls during the day.
17:11And at four to five, we're going to do an hour of constructive play with the girls.
17:17So they have something to look forward to in the afternoon.
17:21The routine being structured with organized activities is really going to help the girls so that they're not bored, so that they don't play up and misbehave.
17:31If we even got some semblance of organization, I think it would really help.
17:38I've been chronically disorganized my whole life, but I'm definitely confident about my ability to make that happen.
17:44So this is the routine, out with the old, in with the new, and let's get started.
17:49The behavior that I want to eliminate in the house is the yelling, the shouting, the tantrums, the aggression, the kicking, the biting.
17:59And that's why the next thing that I introduced into the house was a discipline technique.
18:06I don't want you girls to shout at your mummy and daddy anymore, to be rude like this.
18:14I don't want to do it anymore.
18:17Yes, Jessie. Yes.
18:21And if you don't listen, mummy is going to put you on the naughty stool.
18:28I'm going to explain to you now the discipline of the naughty stool, OK?
18:35I want you to come down, literally, to their level.
18:39Give them eye contact, and I want you to use a low tone voice, OK?
18:45You give your children a warning first to stop the behavior.
18:48If they carry on, I want you then to walk them over and place them on their stool and say to them,
18:54you're going to stay there now until I come and get you, and you walk away.
18:58I'm not looking forward to experiencing some of the naughty stool episodes with Andra, because she's a fighter.
19:07David spends a lot of time away on business, so that means that Barbara has to deal with all three girls,
19:13and the responsibility is solely on Barbara.
19:19It wasn't long before Andra started yelling and shouting at Mum.
19:25She really tests Barbara.
19:27You may not decide for them watching. Excuse me.
19:30Tell her to stop shouting at you.
19:32Every time she addresses you...
19:33You may not shout at me like that. That is not acceptable.
19:36You shout at me again, and you're going on the naughty stool.
19:41All right, right, on. There you go.
19:43It's not a game. This is not a game.
19:45It's on the naughty stool.
19:47You sit in the naughty stool until I tell you that it's okay to get up.
19:51Do you understand me?
19:52Tell her to look at you.
19:55Andra? Andra?
19:58Andy?
19:59Sit down. Firm voice, Barbara. Sit down, and you'll stay there,
20:04because you were being very rude to Mummy.
20:07Now, you stay here on the stool until Mummy comes and gets you,
20:11because that behaviour is not acceptable, and it's not a game.
20:14Just ignore that.
20:17Sit down.
20:20Don't lose hope with Andra.
20:22I know that she's testing you more than the younger girls have.
20:27It's all about repetition and following through and being consistent with discipline.
20:32After giving them their minutes, she's then to come back and to explain why they were put on the naughty stool,
20:43and then to ask for an apology.
20:46You were sitting on the stool because you were shouting at Mummy and you were very rude to Mummy,
20:50and I am not going to tolerate that anymore.
20:52She tested Mum on every level, and eventually, Andra got the message.
20:58This is where you're going to be if you do that again. Do you understand?
21:01I won't.
21:02I won't.
21:03And I want an apology.
21:04I'm sorry.
21:05OK.
21:14What I wanted to do was decrease the amount of aggression in Andra.
21:20Andra needs to be taught that she has two other sisters in her family that she has to share with.
21:27So I brought in a shopping game for Mummy to play with all three girls.
21:32Andra, Leah, Jessie, we're going to play shops today.
21:37There were two shopping carts, one cash register, and Mum had to decide who was playing what role.
21:45I think it would probably be a very good idea if Leah or Jessie was the cashier first.
21:51I encouraged Barbara to make sure that Andra wasn't the cashier that she wanted to be,
21:58because Andra always wants to get her own way.
22:01And it's important that Andra realizes that she can't get her way all the time.
22:05OK, honey, we're all going to rotate.
22:07My money.
22:08OK.
22:09No, I'm being...
22:10No, Andra, first Jessie's going to be the cashier.
22:12No, I don't want to.
22:14Well, Andra, rotate.
22:16We're all going to rotate.
22:18Jessie, you're the cashier, OK?
22:21So you can be just like the cashier at the store.
22:24No, I am it!
22:25Hey, hey, hey, you don't shout at your sister.
22:27No, it's my turn!
22:30I want to be it!
22:32Address that manner, Barbara.
22:34That has got to stop.
22:36So what do I say?
22:37Is that calling her over to you?
22:39Say to her, do not talk to me like that.
22:41Andra, you need to look at me.
22:44I don't want you to shout...
22:46Andra!
22:47Bring her away from the store.
22:49Come here, Andra.
22:50Look what Leah did!
22:51She took my bills!
22:53Andra!
22:54Stop!
22:55Right now!
22:56Mommy is trying to talk to you.
22:58Calm.
22:59Andra!
23:00Keep calm, Barbara!
23:01Andra!
23:02You're in control.
23:03Keep calm.
23:04Keep calm.
23:05Bring her over to you.
23:06Andy, Mommy's trying to talk to you.
23:08When I'm trying to talk to you, I need you to listen to me.
23:11Barbara's really struggling.
23:13Andra was totally disrespectful towards Barbara.
23:18I had to address the situation myself.
23:20That behaviour is no good.
23:22And that behaviour will make you go and sit on that naughty stool.
23:26You've got to learn just to talk and ask, Mummy.
23:28Do you understand me?
23:29Yes!
23:30Thank you very much.
23:31Now off you go and play.
23:32When Andra was pulled aside and Jo was talking to her, it was very difficult.
23:38I've never really seen her face look like it looked.
23:42Andra does need to have respect for her mother.
23:45And Barbara needs to make sure that Andra knows exactly who's in charge.
23:50So we put the food back onto the shelves as well.
23:53And then you designate who's going to have the carts again and start again.
23:56So everybody's shopping.
23:57This is a supermarket.
23:58We've got Leah playing with the bags.
24:01Andra organising stacks of food.
24:04And Jessie dealing with the money.
24:06Jessie, here's your money.
24:08Conveyor belt.
24:09Dad!
24:10Hide you today.
24:12Oh look, there you go.
24:13Look, another one.
24:14Well done.
24:15Very nice.
24:17Very, very good.
24:18Bye!
24:19Thanks for shopping.
24:20Safe driving.
24:21Because shopping for Barbara is such a nightmare,
24:25I introduced to her today the involvement technique.
24:30So that she could go shopping and get the girls involved,
24:34so that they wouldn't start getting bored and misbehave.
24:38The first thing that I want you to do is write the girls out a shopping list
24:42and take a few things off of your list and put it on their list.
24:47And I want you to tell all three children what your expectations of them are.
24:52Okay.
24:53Girls, we are going to go to the grocery store.
24:55We're going to the supermarket.
24:57And mommy is going to need your help once we get to the supermarket.
25:02Can I have that list?
25:04Okay.
25:05We are all strapped in.
25:06So the main objective here is to not keep your children in the supermarket any longer
25:19than necessary.
25:20What I was teaching Barbara is that she should be able to get the children to help her and
25:25to put food and veg into the shopping cart.
25:28Oh, good job.
25:29Can we box the strawberries, please?
25:31All right, Jessie can hold a cucumber.
25:33Can you get a little bit of broccoli, please?
25:35I'm really proud of Barbara, how she's managing all three of the children.
25:40She's able to shop and get what's on her list.
25:42It's such a big improvement.
25:44Marvelous.
25:45But why want this one?
25:48I don't blame you.
25:49That's a good-looking potato.
25:51Andrea's engaged in stimulating activities, so her focus is on that rather than on her mom's attention.
25:59You girls did so well at the grocery store today.
26:02I'm so very pleased with the way you've helped Mommy.
26:05So now we get to ride the horsey.
26:07Yay!
26:08For Mom, it was a really good successful shopping trip, definitely, than what it had been before,
26:16because it had been a nightmare.
26:18It has helped me gain some confidence in my ability to take them into a store.
26:24That was really great.
26:25It was awesome.
26:29I'm leaving the family for a few days.
26:31I've taught Barbara and David all the techniques that they need for their family.
26:37Hurry back.
26:38I think it's a tough time ahead.
26:43My whole hesitation of it is, okay, can we keep it up?
26:46Listen, guys, remember, stick to the routine so that you've got some structure in your day.
26:51All right?
26:52Okay.
26:53See you soon.
26:54You know, tomorrow I'll be waking up without Joe there for the first time.
26:59I'm definitely nervous about that.
27:01It's going to be challenging, but it's down to them to implement everything I have taught them.
27:08And whilst they're doing it, I'm going to be watching them.
27:11Andy, get in the car and sit down.
27:14Stop.
27:16Where's Andrew going?
27:17Andrew has a very dominant personality, and that's why I'm preparing myself for a fight.
27:22Andy, do not run away from me.
27:24I have no idea where that hairband is that you had yesterday.
27:27That was your responsibility, not mine.
27:29Let's go.
27:30Not the pink one.
27:31The new ones.
27:32I don't have...
27:33Stop talking to me.
27:34The new ones.
27:35Stop talking to me that way.
27:36I said the new ones.
27:38She's stalled in the situation, Barbara.
27:40Get Andrew into the car.
27:42I know how to undo that.
27:44Oh, my word.
27:45Don't you dare.
27:46You do that and you're going inside and sitting on the naughty stool.
27:49Andrew's still carrying on with her attitude.
27:51I'm never going to play with you.
27:54Tell Andrew to stop shouting.
27:56During the time that Joe has been gone, I have been having a hard time with the discipline
28:03with Andra, and it's been a challenge.
28:05I don't know what I'm doing.
28:06I don't have any other answers for what's going on.
28:09My main fear is just that I haven't been around working with it much, so I'm the weak link kind of thing.
28:19I'm going to smack out of my picture.
28:21Andra.
28:22Go away!
28:24Come on, you're getting into the naughty chair.
28:26No, I don't want him.
28:28David, what did I teach you?
28:30Warning first.
28:32Sit there.
28:33Because you're kicking and fighting me.
28:36And you're not working.
28:38I was very uncomfortable tonight with putting Andy in the naughty stool because I wasn't sure if my voice was right.
28:45I did get down to eye level and what have you, but that was the first time I tried it.
28:50Stay there.
28:52Mommy!
28:53Oh, here we go.
28:54What do we do about the yelling bars?
28:56Mommy!
28:59All she has to do is just apologize.
29:01All she has to do is apologize to me.
29:03Mommy!
29:05Okay.
29:06It seems so simple.
29:07Mommy!
29:08Mommy!
29:12Okay, you stop crying.
29:13It's okay.
29:14Mommy.
29:15Are you going to apologize to me?
29:16Sorry!
29:18Dad, you need a better story than that.
29:20Nothing learned there.
29:21Nothing.
29:24Dave is away right now and that adds more pressure to me because not only am I trying to implement this new routine,
29:34but then I'm also just dealing with the stress of being alone with the three of them.
29:40Whoa!
29:41Jesse!
29:43What are you doing?
29:44It's not okay to keep hurting your sister.
29:47Those are definite low points for me.
29:49When I can feel my tension feeling like, what am I going to do if it's not working?
29:55And then it just goes downhill from there.
30:05You're going to start needing to cooperate.
30:07I don't need to.
30:08Oh my, what?
30:09I need family breakfast.
30:11We are leaving.
30:12Sit down at the table.
30:13We can't go.
30:14Leah.
30:15Leah now is wanting to go on the naughty stool.
30:19Wait, wait, wait, girls.
30:20We need socks and shoes.
30:21The kids are running riot.
30:22Great.
30:23Now they're hitting you.
30:24I've got to get back.
30:25Hi, Leah.
30:26After being away for a couple of days, I came back to the Jeans household to show Barbara
30:41and David some DVD footage of themselves since I'd been away.
30:46Well, I've got some footage here that I'd like all of us to sit down and watch.
30:51Okay, let's take a look.
30:58I know how I do that.
31:00I know you do.
31:01I'm never going to play with you.
31:06This is horrifying.
31:08I understand your circumstances, you're running late, but don't give her that control.
31:13She's not doing as she's told and she's getting away with it.
31:16Okay.
31:19Will you apologize to me?
31:20I want mommy!
31:23Will you apologize to me?
31:25Yes, I'm asking permission from a four-year-old.
31:27If you give your children the chance, they'll easily manipulate the situation and Andrea's
31:34in control of that discipline at the moment.
31:37Are you going to apologize to me?
31:39Sorry!
31:41Couldn't wait to hear that.
31:43She finally said she was sorry and that's all I wanted to hear.
31:47People say to me, when's a sorry a genuine sorry?
31:51And I think a genuine sorry, it's not in the word, it's how it's delivered.
31:55So, you know, you could have turned around and just said to her, please talk to me properly.
32:00What are you doing to your sister?
32:06Mama!
32:07Would you watch what you're doing, please?
32:10Your tone of voice, not good at all.
32:13Not good at all.
32:14Every time she's registering that she's getting away with it.
32:18And that's the message that goes across.
32:20No, you're absolutely right.
32:21It would have been, none of this would have happened.
32:23Right, okay.
32:26So what we're going to do today, guys, is tweak all the stuff that needs tweaking.
32:32All right?
32:33Okay.
32:34Great.
32:35Give me your battery.
32:36If you do not listen to me, I'm going to place you on the naughty stool.
32:45If you don't listen to me, you're going on the naughty stool.
32:47David still needs to get the smaller details on the naughty stool technique.
32:51Mommy!
32:52Keep calm, David.
32:53Keep calm.
32:54Come on.
32:55Keep calm.
32:56Andrea, stay here for four minutes and then apologize to me and you can leave.
33:01Sorry!
33:02Hi.
33:03Come on.
33:04Keep calm.
33:05Okay?
33:06Well, it's a little hard.
33:07I know.
33:08I know.
33:09But what she can do, she can sense that.
33:11She will learn that when you follow through with this naughty stool technique, that it's
33:16you she must listen to.
33:18Mommy!
33:19Will you give me an apology when you can get up off the chair?
33:22Sorry!
33:23That isn't a very serious sorry.
33:25Sorry!
33:26Okay, David.
33:27This is where we're at now.
33:28We're at the last stage with the apology.
33:30Look at daddy.
33:31Stop whinging and say you're sorry.
33:32Sorry!
33:33Sorry!
33:34Right, okay.
33:35There we go.
33:36You hear the difference in the tone?
33:37Yeah.
33:39Now only 15 more years of this and I might be at your level.
33:42You did good.
33:43You did good though.
33:45Barbara's definitely struggling with discipline in.
33:49So I'm going to be teaching Barbara how to project and to maintain a low tone voice.
33:56I'd like you literally to say, no, stop that.
34:00No.
34:01Stop that.
34:02No.
34:03Stop that.
34:04Okay.
34:05That was good.
34:06That was good for a first time.
34:08So just bring the voice out with more clarity.
34:13No.
34:14Stop that.
34:15Okay.
34:16Do a happy, praise voice.
34:18So bring your voice up high.
34:20Andra, that is really fantastic.
34:23No, that's not acceptable.
34:24That is not acceptable.
34:25That is very good.
34:26That is very good.
34:27Behave yourself.
34:28Behave yourself.
34:29I don't want you to do that.
34:30Do not do that.
34:31That was brilliant.
34:32Using my voice and my tone and my expression as a way to manage my kids, I think that gives
34:47me a little bit more confidence and more hope.
34:50I need you to apologize to me.
34:52Sorry.
34:53Sorry.
34:54Mommy.
34:55One complete circle around the umbrella.
34:58Yay.
34:59Pick up a ball.
35:00Beautiful.
35:01I think Jo is great.
35:03I think she's amazing.
35:04I'm really hopeful that I can maintain the techniques and the things that we've been working
35:09on while she's here.
35:11Look it.
35:12I have a better place.
35:16Having a routine and for me to be able to have activities with the children has been
35:21a really positive change for us.
35:24Leo, can you show me your butterfly?
35:26It feels so much less stressful.
35:30Just tantrums have gone down.
35:32Can you do the petals?
35:33She's not acting out, so that's a huge improvement with Jessie.
35:38Well done, Jessie!
35:40I have noticed improvements with Andra in particular.
35:43She's not shouting.
35:45She's not being aggressive with her sisters.
35:47You can't do it!
35:48Andra has actually not even been back to the naughty stool.
35:51I love you.
35:52Oh, I love you too.
35:53I really didn't expect to see this much change in this short a period of time.
35:58Nicely done.
35:59Everybody's sitting so well.
36:01My favorite times now are breakfast and dinner when we all sit together and get to hang out
36:06together.
36:07Let me see your pretty face.
36:08Barbara's become empowered and as a result, the children know their place.
36:13We are going to stay seated at the table and we are going to eat dinner.
36:17Okay?
36:20We're absolutely going to miss Jo.
36:22It's been amazing.
36:23It's been wonderful to have her here.
36:24She has been very supportive.
36:26I feel quite tearful.
36:29Me too.
36:30You've been a real inspiration.
36:32I just hope that you keep that strength.
36:35Alright?
36:36I appreciate that.
36:38Take care.
36:39When I said goodbye to Barbara, I felt an energy from her
36:42that was really overwhelming.
36:44It really touched me emotionally.
36:47Who gets kisses first?
36:49Me.
36:50Bye-bye darling.
36:51Bye-bye darling.
36:52Oh, bye-bye darling.
36:53David.
36:54Bye-bye.
36:55Take care.
36:56You walk out the house and you say goodbye to a woman that actually knows that she can
37:01do it.
37:02Bye.
37:03Bye.
37:04Bye Jessie.
37:05I left feeling that Barbara found something within herself that was priceless.
37:11I've done what I was meant to do here in this family and I'm off to the next one now.
37:26Joe has helped me function with my kids and helped me feel stronger and I think through feeling
37:33stronger I do feel more like myself.
37:36The impact that Joe has had on my family is huge.
37:39It's changed everyday life into everyday living.
37:43It's changed just trying to get through the day to enjoying a day.
37:48It has become more fun with the girls.
37:51I've been able to enjoy them more than really in a long time or ever.
37:55Oh, good job.
37:56I want to go now.
37:57I want to go now.
37:58I love Joe Joe.
37:59I want to go backwards.
38:00You want to go backwards?
38:01I feel very hopeful for our future so that we're able to live happily ever after.
38:10I mean, I really would just say thank you.
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