Robot Chicken Season 1 Episode 18 The Sack

iCarly

Transcript

00:00It's alive!

00:30Welcome back to First Date, where we've already matched up some unlikely couples.

00:49A geek with a beauty queen, a basketball player with a dwarf, and Jackass Star Stevo with someone who isn't a loser.

00:57But this time, we've outdone ourselves.

01:00Susan hails from Los Angeles, and like all of us, she's looking to be bitten, that is, smitten, by love.

01:07So, I was, like, raised Jewish, and family's very important to me.

01:12If my dad knew how important sex was to me, I would die.

01:17Whew! Daddy's little princess has a wild streak. Think we can find someone to tame her?

01:22Douglas is a predator from Newark, New Jersey, who prides himself on his trophy collection.

01:27But are women just part of the hunt for him?

01:30Sure, I respect women. One time this girl I knew had big boobs, and I respect that.

01:36I'm a gentleman. If someone disrespects my girl, I'll skin him. You know, I'm sweet like that.

01:42One's an alien, the other's a predator. Will they have chemistry, or is this a case of science friction?

01:53Oh, hi!

01:54Oh, hi!

01:55Are you Susan?

01:56Yes, nice to meet you.

01:58I'm Douglas.

01:59Hmm, yeah. Beautiful day we're having.

02:05Yeah, yeah, it's great.

02:10So, what kind of guys do you usually date?

02:13Oh, I don't know. I don't really have a type.

02:17My father may not approve of you, though, since I'm Jewish and you're Predator American.

02:23Oh, he's kind of protective, huh?

02:25Yeah, totally. He's kind of tough.

02:28So, how important is sex to you in a relationship?

02:36Oh, I don't know. Pretty important, I guess.

02:40Yeah, I don't know what I'd do without sex. I gotta have it all the time.

02:44All the time, huh?

02:45Hot tubs and lights, aren't they?

02:52I also love the way the moonlight on the water brings out the shine on your jitinous shell.

03:00Aww.

03:02You can do it!

03:05You can do better!

03:07You do!

03:10So, it was really nice meeting you.

03:13You're, um, you're a really nice person.

03:18Oh my god, I'm so sorry!

03:21Are you okay?

03:23Um...

03:25Uh...

03:26You want a bandaid?

03:29Oh, that date didn't end well, did it, folks?

03:33Think they'll ever go on again?

03:34Let's check back and ask them.

03:38Guess not.

03:43Get away from the lock!

03:44It's not a lock!

03:45Now's our chance, boys!

03:46Oh my god!

03:47Look at him with the back traffic, buddy!

03:49You gotta get out of the car!

03:50Tetsuo!

03:51Welcome back to the Carousel of Tomorrow, where we look at humanity's march into the future.

03:58Can you imagine, excited viewers, what marvels the 21st century holds?

04:05Why, just imagine, the Chinese say they're going to land a man on the moon by the year 2020.

04:10What will that be like, do you think?

04:11No!

04:12No!

04:13No!

04:14No!

04:15No!

04:16No!

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04:58No!

04:59No!

05:00No!

05:01No!

05:02No!

05:03No!

05:04leaving the beach, you will. And in the future, virtual reality sex will be perfected and

05:15society will be forever changed. Mr. Wembley? You like that, don't you, bitch? Wake up,

05:28wake up, wake up, wake up. Mayor McCheese, Mayor McCheese, how do your

05:33views differ from Governor Schwarzenegger, given that he's a Republican and you have a cheeseburger

05:38for a head? It's a birth defect. I've dealt with prejudice all my life. Mr. Mayor, Mr. Mayor,

05:48there have been allegations that you have taken women to motel rooms and paid them to go to the

05:52bathroom on your chest.

06:03Oh, don't get any blood on the new carpet. America's number one big super spy is back

06:15in action. Never mess with a man's raw IRA. The wood-mounted gatling guns are quite deadly

06:23when... How many miles per gallon? 25 or so. Now the smoke screen generator... Is that highway

06:29or city mileage?

06:30Do you expect me to talk, Goyfinger? No, Mr. Hashana. I expect you to eat this BLT.

06:44Of course! This summer, get chillin' with the tefillin! Ross Hashana! I would gladly pay you Tuesday

06:55for a hamburger today. Good morning, everyone! I would gladly pay you Tuesday.

07:02No deal, Wimpy. Oh, no! No more hamburgers for old Wimpy. Don't do that, dear boy. Why not?

07:16Why just look at what everyone's lives would be like without you. Without you. Without you. Without you.

07:22That? That? Good job, Bluto. Nice hair, Papa.

07:28Bouncy? Bouncy!

07:31Thanks for curing cancer, Alice the Goon.

07:35Oh, well. Sorry for wasting your time.

07:48Oh! I forgot!

07:52Boo!

07:53Ah!

07:54Hmm!

07:57Hmm...

07:58Mmgh!

07:59You alien!

08:01Oh!

08:02Nothing.

08:03You alien!

08:07Oh!

08:09Oh!

08:10I don't know.

08:40Sticks cereal

08:42T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T!

09:07OOOH, STICK CEREAL! I gotta have some!

09:11Stupid bunny! Sticks are intended for children!

09:14Just give me a little...

09:15He touched me inappropriately!

09:20Couldn't stay off the sugar, right?

09:23But I can't help myself!

09:25My mother ate sugar when she was pregnant with me!

09:30You want to control the sugar?

09:32Stop using and start selling.

09:35Here, look this guy up when you're out.

09:37Rabbit, you're out.

09:39R-really? But it's only been an hour.

09:42You in Alabama, fool.

09:44An hour's all you get for touching a child.

09:49Selling's a dangerous business, Rabbit.

09:52Killed the fruit brute, Yummy Mummy, even the Cinnamonkey.

09:55I can handle it.

09:57Where's the stuff?

09:58Well, just follow my snout.

10:00It's never in doubt.

10:02Snout that big, it should know more than Einstein.

10:06Kill that mother f***er!

10:09We'll just follow my snout!

10:14We'll just follow my snout.

10:35Wow.

10:36Do you have any idea how rich I'm going to be selling all this cocaine, sugar?

10:42I meant to say sugar, eh, sugar, okay?

10:51Okay.

11:12I tell you the bleeding boards will follow me around, and one little brother says, we're

11:18after your charms.

11:20So I says, forget about me blue diamonds, and worry about me blue balls, you whore.

11:27I never have any idea what you're saying.

11:36Bad news, boss.

11:37The rice boys are talking to the cops.

11:39Bastards are always talking.

11:41Okay, okay.

11:43I'll crink.

11:44I'll crinkle.

11:45I'll plop.

11:46The sticks rabbit made us sell the stuff.

11:49Uh, we only brought you in here because someone turned in your wallet.

11:58Ah, I must have lost it.

12:08Use the hollow point bullets.

12:10They're groovy.

12:12Their bones will stay crunchy, even when soaked in blood.

12:21Ha, ha, ha.

12:29Don't shoot.

12:31I give up.

12:32He's giving up.

12:33Shoot him.

12:34Ah, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

12:40Oh, finally.

12:46Stupid bunny.

12:47Sticks are intended for children.

12:51No!

12:52No!

13:10Stupid monkey.

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