00:30Sorry little girl, but Queen Beryl needs your life force in order to take over the planet Earth!
00:55Serena, change into Sailor Moon quickly!
00:58Moon! Prism! Power!
01:11In the name of the moon, I will punish! Oh my god!
01:19What was it? Oh man!
01:22I don't know why that happened!
01:25Geez!
01:26I'm so sorry! That is so disrespectful of me. You are pretty hot though.
01:32Should we still fight? Because I don't really want to anymore.
01:37You know, the moment's definitely passed.
01:39Alright, see you next time.
01:42Yeah, sure. Okay. Another time.
01:44Oh yeah man, I am rich for her pleasure.
01:49Big talk for a virgin.
01:51If I poon enough noobs, I can raise my rank in the server from three to one!
01:57Me?
01:58Be our 99th caller right now to win our Mission Impossible 3 contest!
02:04Hello, you're our 99th caller!
02:07Excellent!
02:08You and your choice of a Game Boy Advance or a date with MI3 star Scarlett Johansson!
02:15Can I have both?
02:16No.
02:17Do I have to choose right now?
02:18Yes.
02:19I guess I'll choose Scarlett Johansson!
02:25Look, can I just roll down the window and shake his hand?
02:50No, the contest specifies lunch.
02:52Crap in a hat.
02:55So, do you ever play The Sims?
02:59I made a Scarlett Johansson sim and she lived in my house and sometimes we went in the hot tub together, but I forgot to buy a fire extinguisher so there was a grease fire in the kitchen and Scarlett died.
03:12Mm-hmm.
03:13Give us all your money!
03:14Ah!
03:15Leave us alone you hooligans!
03:18He fights like a tiger!
03:22Let's get out of here!
03:24That was so stellar!
03:26Gary's totally gonna score now!
03:29You saved me!
03:30You saved me!
03:31You're my hero!
03:32You saved me!
03:33You're my hero!
03:34You saved me!
03:41You saved me!
03:42You saved me!
03:43You saved me!
03:58Scarlet, my love, there's something I must tell you before I die.
04:03What is it, my love?
04:05I staged the whole fight on our first date.
04:08I won your heart under false pretenses.
04:11Oh, thank God.
04:15I have something to tell you, too.
04:17I'm not really Scarlet Johansson.
04:20I was just a professional Scarlet Johansson impersonator.
04:25My real name is Raymond de Bonitello from Queens, New York.
04:31That explains why Scarlet Johansson had a giant Johansson.
04:42Oh, go in peace, my angel.
04:55Queen Beryl, I have failed to bring you Sailor Moon's life force.
05:00You fool!
05:01Your utter incompetence is dwarfed only by your sheer stupidity.
05:07Oh!
05:07Oh, I'm sorry, Your Majesty.
05:10I just, I kind of like it when you yell at me.
05:14It's hot.
05:15It's my job to provide a bridge between the blokes at the top of the ladder,
05:37like Cobra Commando and Serpentor, and the peons at the bottom.
05:41I help the peons feel valuable.
05:46Although it helps not to call them peons.
05:49Here's that report you wanted, sir.
05:51I told you not to staple it, wretch!
05:56So, I'm the bridge.
05:59Yeah, cloning's an integral part of Cobra's plan for world domination.
06:03Hail Cobra!
06:05Hail Cobra.
06:05Basically, my job is to defrag the DNA sequester before each cloning and juice the capacitor and-
06:12Hail Cobra!
06:13Hail Cobra.
06:14And monitor the plasma feed.
06:17I started out accounting, but there's a lot more room for advancement down here.
06:21Bail Nobra!
06:22Bail Nobra!
06:24Oh, hang on a second.
06:26Yeah, well, establishing the Cobra brand name is a priority for us,
06:30so we put the Cobra logo on just about everything.
06:34Hey, safety is job one here at Cobra.
06:37We fully comply with OSHA standards.
06:40It's been 34 days since our last on-site accident.
06:43The weather dominator exploded, and we lost about 110 guys.
06:50You can still, uh, kind of see what's left of Scott Anderson up there.
06:56Yeah, we really should get that down.
06:58You know, we've been chucking a softball at it, but it's up there pretty good.
07:03Inter-office romances are strictly forbidden, and there's a very good reason for that.
07:09They're a distraction, they cut down on productivity, and they always end bad.
07:14Training and re-education isn't just about combat, it's also about learning the whole Cobra mindset.
07:23Okay, let's say you want to take out a G.I. Joe, quickly and quietly,
07:28without alerting the other members of his unit.
07:31Oh, I'd use a gas pellet.
07:34You're on the right track.
07:36Um, I'd leave, like, a wicker basket and construct a robot snake in it that, like, shoots gas out of its mouth.
07:43Excellent, anyone else?
07:45Oh, uh, well, I'd, I'd totally do what Frank said with the basket and all, but I'd also yell, Cobra!
07:52Perfect.
07:53Now I know.
07:55And knowing is half the battle.
07:58Date rape! Date rape! Date rape! Date rape!
08:04Soon I will have your life for Sailor Moon, and my plan to rule the Earth will come to fruition.
08:12Oh, anime sure is weird.
08:19Ray Charles, you talented, but you ruined my life!
08:24Coming next Christmas, Ray 2, Ray's Day Out!
08:27Just like you ruined so many women before me!
08:31It's not your fault your little brother fell into that wash tub and drowned!
08:36You gotta face your problems!
08:38Ow!
08:39Damn!
08:40Ray!
08:41My back's broken!
08:42Oh, God, Ray!
08:43You blind son of a bitch!
08:44You killed me, Ray!
08:45You blind son of a bitch!
08:46You killed me, Ray!
08:47You blind son of a bitch!
08:48Uh-huh!
08:49Ray 2, Ray's Day Out!
08:50Coming next Christmas!
08:51Ha-ha!
08:52Ha-ha!
08:53Ha-ha!
08:54Ha-ha!
08:55Ha-ha!
08:56Ha-ha!
08:57Ha-ha!
08:58Ha-ha!
08:59Ha-ha!
09:00Stay out! Coming next Christmas!
09:13Ha ha!
09:21Tonight, the top ten things Eddie Buttskin should never say.
09:26Number ten.
09:27If you die, could I have your room?
09:31Number nine.
09:33Be so hordy, they love you long time.
09:37Number eight.
09:38There's blood when I wipe.
09:41Number seven.
09:42I'm going to eat your face on TV, David Letterman.
09:46Wait, that's kind of specific.
09:48Ha ha! Ha ha ha!
09:51Help me! Help me! Help me! Help me!
09:55Help me! Help me!
09:55Oh, that's it!
10:02Mmm.
10:04Ah.
10:06Ha ha! Okay! Okay, guys, that's a lot of fun.
10:09Hey, quit it! Hey, get off! Hey, you guys, stop it! Come on, stop!
10:13Yes.
10:14Let's go to the doctor.
10:18Is everyone ready for some hilarious home videos?
10:21Ha ha ha!
10:22We here at Blooper Central asked you to send in your tapes so we can produce this show for almost nothing.
10:30We thought we'd see nut shots and seniors falling down, but these tragedies kicked it up a notch.
10:39Bam! Did I say bam? Let's hope for this guy's sake that I didn't.
10:45Move it, boss. Out of the way, over your ass, damn it.
10:49Let's go! Woo-hoo! Now we're going!
10:59Ha ha ha ha! It's much of gas.
11:01And they say you can't solve the homeless problem.
11:07Some problems can't be solved by sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong.
11:13Honey, be careful.
11:15Shut up!
11:16Maybe a mechanic could fix it better.
11:20I can do it if you just shut up!
11:24Mama, I'm pregnant!
11:26No!
11:28Hey, she told me she was on the pill.
11:32At 18, hidden cameras can yield cherished memories or incriminating evidence.
11:40The only X factor is you!
11:44What are you doing, sweetie?
11:45Oh, nothing. Nothing. You ready?
11:48Uh-huh.
11:49Oh.
11:50Oh, God! Oh, I'm sorry.
11:54You f***ing loser!
11:57You have failed me as a boyfriend and you have failed yourself as a man!
12:03Robot chicken co-head writer Douglas Goldstein!
12:07Bet you didn't see that coming.
12:09Matter of fact, neither did she.
12:12This video was sent in by someone who found it in the woods.
12:18Let's watch!
12:20Josh!
12:21Michael!
12:21I'm coming, Josh!
12:22Wait for me!
12:23Michael!
12:24Michael!
12:25Wait for me!
12:26Michael!
12:28Ah!
12:32Rumor has it those kids were a torn limb from limb.
12:37Sometimes, the best home videos can be taken away from home.
12:42Just watch these crazy vacation videos!
12:56That's all the time we have for this episode.
13:18So come back next week for more hilarious home videos!
