Robot Chicken Season 2 Episode 7 Cracked China

iCarly

Transcript

00:00It's in the morning!

00:30Hey guys, ready to snort some whippets?

00:46Dude, that's so 2005.

00:49We're into nunchuckin' now.

00:52Nunchuckin'?

00:53What, like ninjas?

00:55Hey!

00:56NUMBS!

00:57Oh my god!

00:59Oh my god!

01:00Shut up!

01:06Yes!

01:12Oh, that was awesome!

01:14I didn't feel a thing!

01:17Nunchuckin'!

01:24Nunchuckin'!

01:26Nunchuckin'!

01:27Nunchuckin'!

01:29Nunchuckin'!

01:33Nunchuckin'!

01:35Hey a hybrid!

01:37Hey guys, nunchuckin' today?

01:38One, two, NUMMCHUCKING!

01:41NUMMCHUCKING!

01:48Hey, hybrid!

01:50Hey, guys. NUMMCHUCKING today?

01:53Nah, dude. We're in the pot now.

01:56Pot?

01:57Hello, excuse me, hello?

02:04Are you radioactive zombies looking for brains

02:07or survivors thanking the one attribute that's kept you alive?

02:13Zombies.

02:14Oh, okay.

02:15Didn't feel right to lie to you.

02:17Of course.

02:22Uh-oh! Are you kids being bad?

02:25Yeah!

02:27You know what that means.

02:29Punishment from above!

02:31My little pony, apocalypse pony,

02:34punished mankind for their sins.

02:38I am Pestilence Pony!

02:41I love you, Pestilence Pony!

02:48I am famine pony!

02:50Yay!

02:55Yay! War pony!

03:01Now, what's all this racket?

03:03My goodness!

03:04And I am...

03:05DEATH PONY!

03:08Oh, how sad. The poor thing can't hear.

03:11No, Mom. I think he said...

03:13No!

03:14My little pony, apocalypse pony,

03:16punished mankind for their sins.

03:18I love you, apocalypse ponies!

03:20Was I squeezing off or so?

03:21No, I pulled you over because I love you!

03:23Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

03:24I'll never forget the first time I met Eagle-Eye Smith.

03:26I was at the bar late one night when-

03:27The name's Eagle-Eye!

03:32And I'm a cat!

03:34I challenge you three to a game of pool!

03:36I was the only one near the pool table.

03:39That's when I realized that Eagle-Eye was blind as a bat.

03:42Nick and I was at the bar,

03:43I'm on the couch!

03:44I got to hang on in the pool!

03:46Look!

03:47What about Eagle-Eye,

03:49that's the first time I met Eagle-Eye.

03:50I was the only one near the pool table.

03:52That's when I realized that Eagle Eye was blind as a bat.

03:56I'm going to break this puppy wide open.

03:59I couldn't help feeling sorry for Eagle Eye,

04:01so I picked up two pool balls and held them close to his ear.

04:05Good shot, Eagle Eye.

04:07Damn straight, fat ass.

04:09I'm straight.

04:10Eagle Eye hit a lot of balls that night,

04:13but not any on the pool table.

04:14Eight ball, call the pocket.

04:17I'm a champion.

04:19And though he may not have won the game,

04:21he certainly won my heart.

04:27Home run, Eagle Eye.

04:29I'm a champion.

04:37Strike, Eagle Eye.

04:39I'm a champion.

04:40I can't wait.

04:42Keep your ski tips up.

04:43We're almost at the top of the list.

04:45I'm going to be a champion.

04:47Okay, this is it.

04:49These Alps are my bitch, mother f***er.

04:55Eagle Eye, are you okay?

04:57Sometimes, Johnny, it's scary being blind.

05:00Well, Eagle Eye, nobody else can see either.

05:05The sun went out years ago.

05:07Really?

05:08So we're all champions?

05:10Yeah.

05:11We're all champions.

05:13We're all champions.

05:15I ain't going to laugh at you.

05:19All right, don't get all gay on me, fatso.

05:22I'm going to go sew my girlfriend a good time.

05:25Have fun, Eagle Eye.

05:26How do you like that, baby?

05:35Oh, Eagle Eye, you're so big.

05:38You die, woman.

05:40You're a champion, Eagle Eye.

05:41That's right.

05:42I'm a champion.

05:43Pikachu!

05:46Cheetly Puff.

05:49Chew, chew, Pikachu!

05:51Back into your Pokeball, Pikachu.

05:56I wonder what it's like inside those Pokeballs.

06:00I wonder when you'll shut up and make my dinner.

06:02Are you ready to battle, ass?

06:22Uh, my name is Ash.

06:25Pikachu, I choose you!

06:28Pikachu, I choose you!

06:32Get up, get up, get up, get up!

06:37Huh?

06:41Pika, Pika!

06:53Go get him, Pikachu!

06:56Ah, Pikachu.

06:57Pikachu.

07:02He said he would phone, and yet he hasn't phoned.

07:07He knows how I worry.

07:12Oh, yeah!

07:14King me!

07:15King this mofo right now!

07:18You think you're so great, Louis?

07:21I hope you die of a stroke.

07:23Oh!

07:24Oh!

07:25Oh!

07:26Oh!

07:26Louis, we come from many galaxies away!

07:30We have been monitoring your great Chaka's prowess!

07:35We have determined that you are the champion we need to save our civilization!

07:42Yeah!

07:43Are you ready, Louis?

07:44Don't sweat!

07:45Here they come!

07:46Seamus Lewis!

07:47Sit back and watch the show, bitch!

07:49Nail!

07:50King me, you extra-terasticles!

07:51King me, you extra-terasticles!

07:53King me, you extra-terasticles!

07:55Lelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelele

08:25Yeah!

08:26Pull back!

08:28Their champion is too great!

08:34You saved us, Lewis!

08:36Save Lewis and I saved us, save them!

08:39You saved us, Lewis and I saved us!

08:43Mom?

08:45Mom!

08:47I think Lewis had a stroke!

08:49King of me!

08:52Hold on to your hats, folks!

08:54Jerry the Great stands poised to deliver the finishing blow!

09:00One, two, three!

09:04Oh, and here comes Dad!

09:07Top container for Billy's title!

09:09No, Dad, wait!

09:10Flying Dad Bomb!

09:14Honey, come in here and count this!

09:16Okay.

09:17One, two, three.

09:19Dad wins.

09:21Yay.

09:22Now come to dinner.

09:23Dad is a champion!

09:25You're a loser!

09:29Your boss at the accounting firm tells you to collate the data, but Excel hasn't backed up a file yet!

09:35Shaving throw!

09:36Then I do a shaving throw!

09:38Dorothy here, drinking my prune juice martini.

09:51Recently, my sex drive has taken a menopause.

09:53I decided to meet up with Rose, Blanche, and Sophia at Katz's Deli for some pastrami on rye.

09:57Because, Lord knows, my dry old pastrami wasn't getting any action at home.

10:06Girls, let's tell our nastiest sex stories.

10:10Check, please!

10:11Check, please!

10:12Blanche, you start.

10:14Well, a few weeks ago, my good friend Alberta passed away.

10:19Now, I knew Alberta's husband was a real shaker in the sack.

10:24See, he had Parkinson's.

10:26We met that night.

10:28My body was tingling all over from the sight of his manhood.

10:33So I said, do you want a gummer?

10:36Right in the middle of my no-denture adventure, his spirit released itself in more than one way.

10:45He died?

10:49Blanche, it goes to figure the only way you can keep a guy stiff is with rigor mortis.

10:56Looking for that check?

10:58Rose, what was your dirtiest sex story?

11:01Two nights ago, I met up with an old boyfriend from St. Olaf who I hadn't seen in 50 years.

11:09Let's just say it was an affair to forget.

11:13Sven, remember when we did it once in the ice shed by the lake and we got stuck to the ice?

11:21I love that movie. Are you my daughter?

11:24Sven had Alzheimer's.

11:26Say my name.

11:27Margaret?

11:28No, that's not it.

11:31Judy?

11:32No.

11:33Roger?

11:34Good enough.

11:39Okay, now it's my turn.

11:42Come on. We all know as well as you do that the closest you ever gonna get to a man is by looking in the mirror.

11:48Mom, you're being testy.

11:50You have testies.

11:51Fine, Mom. Why don't you tell a story?

11:54My nastiest sex story would have to be when I was a cheerleader for the high school basketball team.

11:59Sophia, I never knew you were a cheerleader in high school.

12:04I wasn't. This was last week. Go team!

12:12It was wonderful. They ran a train on me.

12:14A ball!

12:15I had more balls in my face than a circus seal.

12:20I'm just gonna leave some money on the table.

12:26The girls like it wild, but I prefer a quiet night at home playing Jeopardy with my hand on the buzzer.

12:34This was your hand.

12:58Stupid monkey.

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