King Of The Hill Season 3 by The Facts of Life - Dailymotion

The Facts of Life

King Of The Hill Season 3

Transcript

00:00Music

00:30Fork and the spoon jumped over the moon

00:35No

00:36You got a letter

00:39It smells like the letters Luann used to get from her mom in prison

00:46Only prison ear

00:49Hmm, Archer?

00:52I don't know anyone named Archer

00:54Hey, I've been pre-approved for a gold card

00:59Who wants ice cream?

01:06Oh, listen to this

01:08It's from an old student of mine

01:10He's on death row

01:12And, as I raise my hand for possibly my final question

01:18I hope that Miss Peggy Hill will call on me one more time

01:23Because she is the person who has had the most positive impact on my life

01:28Sincerely, Wesley Martin Archer

01:32That's a good name for a killer

01:35What was he like, Mom?

01:37Did he speak real proper English like an evil genius?

01:41I think maybe he had wavy brown hair

01:45Or was he that albino boy?

01:49Well, it'll all come back to me when I see him

01:51Oh, wait a second here

01:53You're not thinking of going into a prison, are you?

01:56Hank, I am a substitute teacher

01:59I flit in and out of people's lives

02:01And I never know if I've made a difference

02:04With this boy, I did make an impact

02:07Uh, he's in prison, Peggy

02:10Dang it, Peggy

02:13Some of these guys haven't seen a woman since they killed their wives

02:17If you're gonna insist on going

02:19Do you have to be all decked out like some disco dancer?

02:24Hank, please

02:25Death row is perfectly safe

02:27There's a code of conduct that all prisoners are obligated to obey

02:31Tell you what, Hank, man

02:38She's just like my dang old Susan Sarandon

02:40In that movie, man

02:41It was Bicoli, man

02:42Talking about the taste of waves

02:44Cool buzz, you know

02:46Are you just gonna joke your way through your entire life, Boomhauer?

02:51Don't snap it, Boomhauer

02:53Just because you're losing control of your woman

02:56Believe me, Hank

02:57If you don't stop it here

02:59The next step will be cutting your allowance

03:02Oh, you can't rein Peggy in, Dale

03:04Peggy's like a wild mare

03:07She needs to run free

03:09Her chestnut mane blowing in the wind

03:13Flanks glistening with sweat

03:15I'll stop now

03:17Hey, Death Row

03:20Do you think Peggy's gonna meet the executioner?

03:23Well, she only mentioned the murderer

03:25Executioning

03:27For us exterminators

03:29That's the major league

03:32The show

03:34Ow!

03:39Empty your bag on that table

04:01We'll hold on to this

04:04A con could use a mascara applicator

04:08To scoop a man's eye right out of his head

04:11Hola, Senora Hill

04:27You don't remember me

04:31That's okay

04:32Someone like you touches so many lives

04:35Well, yes, I guess I do

04:38Who'd you kill?

04:40I killed myself

04:41At least I might as well have

04:44As bad as I feel about it

04:45One night I went with my buddy Ray

04:48Over to his friend's house

04:49Only he wasn't home

04:51So I gave Ray a boost up to the window

04:53He couldn't climb up

04:55And hold his gun at the same time

04:58Well, that's why we were there

05:00To return his friend's gun

05:02I can see where this is going

05:04Go on

05:05So we get inside

05:07And it turns out

05:08The guy was home

05:09He was screaming

05:11Alarms were ringing

05:13And when a guy yells

05:15Don't shoot

05:16Believe me

05:17It has the opposite effect

05:19I just panicked

05:21And the next thing I know

05:22His head was blown off

05:24Well, it would be a comedy of errors

05:26If it wasn't so tragic

05:28Well, you don't miss a thing

05:29How do you say

05:33Peggy Hill is the smartest

05:35Most talented woman on earth

05:38In Spanish

05:39Well

05:40That would be

05:44Peggy Hill es bueno

05:46Well, the prison may think

05:51Ten back issues of Us magazine

05:53And a Bible make a library

05:55But I do not

05:57Wesley needs more than that

05:58To expand his mind

06:00Why bother helping him at all

06:02He's just gonna be executed

06:03Very nice, Hank

06:05You know, Wes had only the best things

06:07To say about you

06:08He was very supportive

06:10About your problems

06:11With your father

06:11You gave a convict

06:13Personal information about

06:15How could you be that naïve

06:19Naïve

06:20Do you know what a prisoner

06:22Could do with this

06:22I do

06:23He could jab it

06:25Into your windpipe

06:26And you would be dead

06:27In two minutes

06:28Glasses are not a weapon

06:30Guns are a weapon

06:32You used to know that

06:33What color is your parachute

06:37Is a wonderful book

06:39About finding your inner self

06:41This is so great

06:43Mrs. Hill

06:45Have you ever played

06:46What If

06:48What If

06:49Is that the one

06:51Where you guys see

06:52How quickly you can

06:52Stab a knife

06:53Around your fingers

06:54Well, that game's fun

06:56But I don't think

06:57It has a name

06:58Hmm

06:58How about

07:00Stabscotch

07:01Stabscotch

07:03Well, that's real good

07:05Mrs. Hill

07:06But

07:06Back to What If

07:08I can't help thinking

07:10What If

07:11Mrs. Hill

07:12Had been my full time teacher

07:13Maybe I'd be able

07:15To read these books

07:16You can't read

07:18Now that

07:19Is a crime

07:20Look, I know

07:22It would be unfair to ask

07:23But

07:23If you would

07:25Come in

07:25And tutor me

07:26Well

07:26What's the happiest

07:29Color on earth

07:30Yellow

07:31Well, then my parachute

07:33Would be yellow

07:34You gave that bastard

07:38Our travel version

07:39Of the Guinness Book

07:40Of World Records

07:41And now you're gonna

07:42Teach him to read it?

07:44Hank, I'm a teacher

07:45I sell knowledge

07:47And it doesn't matter

07:48To who

07:49Whom

07:50Even murderers?

07:52You work with propane

07:53That kills people

07:55Only when used by people

07:57That don't know

07:58How to handle it

07:59And I know

08:00How to handle it

08:01And I

08:02Know how to handle

08:03Myself

08:04I am not some

08:06Corset wearing lady

08:07Who passes out

08:08With the vapors

08:09At the drop of a hat

08:10Or a sudden garrotting

08:12Dang it, Peggy

08:14I

08:14You can't just

08:16Okay, that's it

08:18You leave me no choice

08:20For your own good

08:22I am forbidding you

08:23To go back there

08:24You

08:25Forbid me?

08:27Unless you

08:28Decide on your own

08:30Not to go

08:31Cause I'll still

08:32Support that

08:33Nobody

08:34Forbids

08:35Peggy Hill

08:36Well obviously

08:48Since there's only

08:49One of you

08:50I cannot grade

08:51On a curve

08:51But every day

08:52An assignment is late

08:54Is one grade off

08:55And a day in the hole

08:56Oh

08:57Oh

08:59Peggy

09:00Oh

09:03That's beautiful

09:05Is that me?

09:07It's an apple

09:08Oh

09:09So you're telling me

09:12You'll spray the entire prison

09:14For just one dollar a month?

09:16My word is my bond, sir

09:18Due to the fact the state

09:20Wouldn't bond me

09:22Or insure me

09:24Mm-hmm

09:25Yeah

09:25Of course the invoice

09:27Will say two grand

09:28But that's just

09:30Procedure

09:31I think we've got ourselves

09:32A deal

09:32Ha ha ha

09:35I read your manual

09:36And as an official

09:38Employee of the prison system

09:39I'm now qualified

09:40To be the executioner

09:42Where's old Sparky?

09:45Old Sparky's been

09:46Put out to pasture

09:47We use lethal injection

09:49Okay

09:50Then where's old Squirty?

09:52Dead is dead

09:53I don't care how we get there

09:54Mr. Gribble

09:56Generally we choose

09:58One of the guards

09:59To be the executioner

10:00And there's a rather

10:01Long list of volunteers already

10:03Put me on it

10:04Please

10:05Please

10:06Please

10:06Well

10:08Alright

10:09You'll be

10:10Number

10:11129

10:13Wingo

10:14I'm gonna kill a killer

10:17I'm gonna kill a killer

10:19Mom

10:32You're covering up

10:33My essay

10:34On why pollution is bad

10:36It gotta show's improvement

10:39Sorry Bobby

10:40But I guess

10:41We're just gonna have

10:42To murder somebody

10:43If we want

10:44Your mom's attention

10:45Okay

10:47Hey Sam

10:53Hold it

10:58Oh yeah

10:59Wes

11:08You're supposed to start

11:09Finding words

11:10Oh

11:11I'm sorry

11:12Mrs. Hill

11:13I'm just not used

11:14To such creative teaching

11:16Hey don't you dare

11:23Touch her

11:24You leave

11:24Mrs. Hill

11:25Alone

11:26No

11:28Stop it

11:33She's too good

11:35For you

11:36No

11:36She's teaching me

11:37In a rain

11:38Damn it

11:39Oh good god

11:44Excuse me

11:52Do you know

11:53If these gloves

11:53Are good

11:54For killing a man

11:55There was only three days

12:09In the pit

12:09I thought the guard

12:11Was gonna touch her

12:12Bottom

12:14Oh I tried to tell them

12:16That you meant no harm

12:17But they would not listen

12:18Heck

12:19They're all as dumb

12:21As a bucket of dirt

12:22Anyway that's why

12:23They hate Boggle

12:24They hate Boggle

12:26Only because

12:28We love Boggle

12:29When I was little

12:31My meemaw

12:32Played on her

12:33Boggle set

12:34All the time

12:35I just watched

12:37Being illiterate

12:38And all

12:39But I dreamed

12:40Of someday

12:41Playing on that set

12:43Peggy if you

12:45Get me

12:46My Boggle set

12:47You could make

12:48That dream

12:49Come true

12:50I am a dream

12:52Weaver

12:53So

12:58Jeanette

12:59I did not realize

13:01They allowed

13:01Wesley conjugal visits

13:03Wes better get

13:05The whole set

13:07Oh rock me

13:13I'm a dance

13:14Now Wes

13:16You shake

13:17The letters

13:18Not the timer

13:19All right

13:22All right

13:28Who covered

13:29Wes's drawing

13:30With this crap

13:31Uh

13:32Peggy

13:32I just thought

13:33That maybe

13:34If you saw

13:34Some happy pictures

13:36You might do

13:37Happy things

13:38Like not

13:39Visiting death row

13:40Let me paint you

13:42A happy picture

13:43Hank

13:43A broken down

13:45Illiterate man

13:46With nothing but

13:47Death staring him

13:48In the face

13:49Spells out the word

13:51Party

13:51With his family

13:52Boggle set

13:53And then he croons

13:54White Christmas to me

13:56As I leave his cell

13:57For the day

13:58Now that

13:59Is a happy picture

14:00Hank

14:01Oh man

14:07Everybody started

14:08Fighting

14:09And the guards

14:09Were in there

14:10Just a swing

14:11In their clubs

14:11And I

14:12I couldn't get

14:13To the boggle

14:14Set in time

14:15It was ruined

14:16Oh just a timer

14:17Jeanette will give

14:18You a new one

14:19Wes is a little slow

14:25He needs more time

14:28Well

14:30You realize

14:31That this is not

14:32A regulation timer

14:33This will make

14:34Tournament play

14:35Impossible for Wes

14:36Uh

14:38Okay

14:40I know it was stupid

14:50But we were

14:51Playing out in the yard

14:52And the top

14:53Fell off

14:54Jeanette will give you

14:55Some more timer

14:56Sand

14:56What about using

14:58A watch

14:58Peggy

14:59That's not real

15:01Boggle

15:02Well

15:06This should certainly

15:08Last him a while

15:09You're not riding

15:15Wes

15:16Alright

15:17I'm gonna give you

15:18One tiny hint

15:19Oh rats

15:21There's tar

15:23On my star

15:24Art

15:24Wes

15:26Wes

15:26What is it

15:27I

15:29I can't let the guard

15:31See me cry

15:32If they sense

15:33Some weakness

15:34Guard

15:34Could you please

15:36Give us some space

15:37You are inhibiting

15:38His wordplay

15:39I have something

15:41To tell you

15:42Can you hear me

15:44I can hear you

15:45Good

15:46Peggy

15:47All this time

15:48Are saying

15:48You've been bringing me

15:49Oh

15:50Don't mention that

15:51This is coke

15:52Peggy

15:52You've been smuggling me

15:54Cocaine

15:54That's a federal offense

15:56And you know what

15:57You're gonna bring me

15:58More of it

15:59Is this some kind

16:00Of a

16:01How stupid

16:01Can you be

16:02I never had you

16:04As a teacher

16:04I grew up in Arkansas

16:06I'm almost 40

16:08For crepe's sakes

16:09I wrote every teacher

16:11In the Arlen yearbook

16:12And you were the only

16:13Sap dumb enough

16:13To answer

16:14So

16:15All that about being

16:17The only positive

16:18Influence on you

16:20Here's what you're

16:21Gonna do

16:21You're going to bring me

16:23A brick of cocaine

16:24Every week

16:25And that's not all

16:27You know what else

16:28I won't peg a heel

16:29Do take them some

16:31My sloppy Joe

16:47Is all sloppy

16:49And no Joe

16:50I forgot to add the meat

16:54How could I be

16:56So freaking stupid

16:58Luann

17:06Bobby

17:06Why don't you

17:07Go get some money

17:08From my purse

17:09And go out

17:10For pizza

17:10Oh Hank

17:20It's so awful

17:22Hank I've been

17:24Smuggling cocaine

17:25Into Wes

17:27Smuggling cocaine

17:29That's got to be

17:31Illegal Peggy

17:32Well I thought

17:33It was boggle sand

17:34And now

17:35He's making

17:36All kinds of demands

17:37One box of

17:40Pornography

17:41A jug of

17:42Corn liquor

17:43A Farrah Fawcett

17:44Poster

17:45A Milwaukee

17:46Sawzall

17:47And a brick of

17:48Cocaine

17:49On every Tuesday

17:50Oh

17:52Well he certainly

17:53Revealed his

17:55True colors

17:55I don't think

17:56You'll be going

17:57Back to see him

17:58Again

17:58Hank

17:59I have to

18:00Or he will

18:01Turn me in

18:02They will send

18:04Me to jail

18:05I guess

18:07You're happy now

18:08You get to say

18:09I told you so

18:11Jerk

18:13Look

18:14Don't panic

18:16He's not gonna

18:17Turn you in

18:17He's just bluffing

18:19He has nothing

18:19To gain

18:20Well he has

18:21Nothing to lose

18:22Either

18:22Hank

18:23There's no row

18:24After death row

18:26That's Wes

18:28Don't answer it

18:30I'll handle this

18:31Murderers are just bullies

18:34If you stand up to them

18:36They always crumble

18:37This is Hank Hill

18:42You huh

18:44Well you're not getting

18:46Any more of your

18:47Funny timer sand

18:49And you're gonna

18:49Leave my wife alone

18:51Uh huh

18:52No your ass

18:55Is mine

18:55Because we've got

18:57A plan

18:57Sure we do

19:00It's a terrific plan

19:01We discarded

19:03Two perfectly good plans

19:05When we came up

19:06With this great one

19:08Why didn't you tell me

19:11About our terrific plan

19:12Peggy

19:13I made that up

19:14And the other two plans

19:17Uh

19:18He says

19:19If he doesn't get

19:20His coke

19:21By noon Tuesday

19:22He's gonna turn you in

19:24Just for fun

19:25Look

19:31Just go to the warden

19:32And tell him

19:33You were naive

19:34And that Wes tricked you

19:35I can't

19:36They made me watch

19:38A short film

19:39About the danger

19:40Of smuggling things

19:41Into the prisoners

19:42It was called

19:44Don't be a mule

19:46I even got

19:48A hundred percent

19:49On the test

19:50They gave me afterwards

19:51Well

19:52You can't smuggle

19:53Any more drugs in

19:55That's for sure

19:56Hey

19:57What would happen

19:58If we just gave

19:59Wes a brick

20:00Of regular timer sand

20:02Well we can't do that

20:03He is going to deal

20:04This batch

20:05To the Aryan Brotherhood

20:06If they think

20:08He tried to pull

20:09A fast one

20:09They would make

20:11A pin cushion

20:12Out of him

20:12Unless

20:14He tastes it

20:16He always tasted

20:18The timer sand

20:19When I brought it in

20:20I didn't think

20:22Anything of it

20:23At the time

20:24He always said

20:26It was very good

20:27Timer sand

20:28Primo

20:32Well

20:40It's forty minutes

20:41Past noon

20:42I think you're

20:43In the clear

20:44Well maybe

20:45The phone isn't

20:45Working

20:46Hank

20:49There's no

20:50Dial tone

20:51Oh

20:52Hello

20:53Well this is

20:54The freakiest thing

20:55I didn't even

20:56Hear the phone

20:57Ring

20:57I was just

20:58Yes

20:59Warden

20:59I understand

21:01I will be there

21:03Okay

21:07He wants me

21:08To come in

21:09And explain

21:09Myself tomorrow

21:10Well

21:12I guess

21:13I'd better

21:13Make Bobby's lunch

21:14For the next

21:16Two to five years

21:17What's going on

21:20Uh

21:21Nothing

21:22Hey

21:23Who's in the mood

21:25For some fun

21:26Look mom

21:36Gilda's trapped

21:37In a fortress

21:38But I'm gonna

21:39Break her free

21:40Oh

21:44My sweet

21:52Sweet

21:53Little boy

21:54Uh

21:55Peggy

21:56I uh

21:58How you set

22:00For quarters

22:00No that's

22:02That's not

22:03What I meant

22:04To say

22:05Uh

22:05Look

22:06You said

22:07The other day

22:08You've never

22:08Had a positive

22:09Impact

22:10On anybody's

22:11Life

22:11Well

22:12I want you

22:13To know

22:13That you

22:14Have

22:14I'd hate

22:15To think

22:16Where Bobby

22:17Luanne

22:17And I

22:18Would be

22:18Without you

22:19Come on

22:28Those moles

22:28Aren't gonna

22:29Whack themselves

22:30Go

22:35It is my

22:48Destiny

22:49To be

22:50The nameless

22:51Faceless

22:51Executioner

22:53But do not

22:54Fear me

22:55For I am

22:56Just part

22:56Of the

22:57Circle

22:57Of life

22:58The last

23:00Part

23:00Made you

23:02Flinch

23:02Ha ha

23:03Launch

23:04Mrs. Hill

23:27Did you

23:28Smuggle

23:28Cocaine

23:29Into my

23:30Prison

23:30I came

23:33To this

23:34Prison

23:34To make

23:35An impact

23:35To help

23:37Help how

23:39By getting

23:40Me hooked

23:41Do you

23:42Give all

23:42Your students

23:43Drugs

23:44That's not

23:45The right

23:45Way to

23:45Motivate

23:46Us

23:46I never

23:47Meant

23:48To

23:48Tell him

23:48Peggy

23:49Tell him

23:50About the

23:51Boggle

23:51Tomer

23:51Stop

23:52Rushing

23:53Me

23:53Come

23:53Clean

23:54Tell him

23:55The truth

23:56I came

23:56Here to

23:57Tell the

23:57Truth

23:58I would

23:58Never

23:58Dream

23:59Of

23:59Telling

24:00Anything

24:00Else

24:01I never

24:17Saw this

24:18Man before

24:18In my

24:19Life

24:19And what

24:21I mean

24:22By that

24:22Is I

24:23Did not

24:24Bring him

24:24Cocaine

24:25I would

24:26Like to

24:26Please see

24:27The evidence

24:27Against

24:28Me

24:28But there's

24:37No cocaine

24:38In there

24:38In fact

24:40It looks

24:40Like it's

24:41Been

24:41Licked

24:42Clean

24:43Well

24:43I

24:44I had

24:45A little

24:45Bit

24:46Left

24:46This

24:46Morning

24:47But

24:47This

24:48Was

24:48Important

24:49Me

24:49And I

24:49Want

24:49To

24:49Be

24:50Up

24:50For

24:50It

24:50So

24:51This

24:52Is

24:52The

24:52Only

24:52Evidence

24:53Against

24:53Me

24:54That

24:57Should

24:57Be

24:57Enough

24:58I

25:00Didn't

25:01Bring

25:01In

25:02A

25:02Thing

25:03I

25:03Swear

25:04To

25:04God

25:04She

25:04Smuggled

25:05Cocaine

25:05Into

25:05Me

25:06So

25:07I

25:08Guess

25:08It's

25:08This

25:09Convict's

25:10Word

25:10Against

25:10My

25:11Wifes

25:12Now

25:12Let's

25:12See

25:13Who

25:13Can

25:13We

25:13Trust

25:14Peggy

25:15Have

25:16You

25:16Ever

25:16Decapitated

25:17Anyone

25:18No

25:19I

25:19Don't

25:19Believe

25:19I

25:20Have

25:20How

25:21About

25:21You

25:21Wes

25:22Have

25:23You

25:23Ever

25:23Done

25:24Anything

25:24That

25:24Caused

25:25A

25:25Man's

25:25Head

25:26To

25:26Come

25:26Off

25:26Well I

25:42Guess

25:43Someone owes

25:43Me

25:44An

25:44Apology

25:45I

25:45Wouldn't

25:46Hold

25:46Your

25:46Breath

25:46I

25:47Don't

25:47Think

25:47Wes

25:47Even

25:48Apologized

25:49For

25:49Those

25:49People

25:50He

25:50Killed

25:50I

25:51Was

25:51Talking

25:52About

25:52You

25:52Oh

25:53I'm

25:55Sorry

25:55Do

25:56You

25:56Even

25:56Know

25:57What

25:57You're

25:57Apologizing

25:58For

25:58No

25:59I'm

26:00Sorry

26:00But

26:01I

26:01Don't

26:01I

26:02Accept

26:03You

26:04Apologize

26:05Because

26:05You

26:05Said

26:06I

26:06Couldn't

26:06Take

26:06Care

26:07Of

26:07Myself

26:07And

26:07I

26:07Can

26:08So

26:08There

26:09All

26:10Right

26:10I

26:11Thought

26:11It

26:11Had

26:11Something

26:12To

26:12Do

26:12With

26:12The

26:12Prison

26:13Prison

26:25Prison

26:35Prison

26:38Prison

26:39Pulse.

King Of The Hill Season 3 Episode 22 Death And Texas

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King Of The Hill Season 3

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