- 5/19/2025
King Of The Hill Season 3 Episode 13 De-Kahnstructing Henry
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TVTranscript
00:00Music
00:02Music
00:04Music
00:40Six. My body temperature is 63 degrees.
00:46Wait a minute.
00:48Out of way of working, man. I try to get home.
00:53Con, even old lady Matlow can drive down the alley without asking anyone to move. What's that say about you?
01:01I leave for work when you're sleeping. I come home when you're drinking. What that say about you?
01:05So the man likes to drink. So what? It say you not get promotion. Same old job for you. Great new project for Con. Come with company car.
01:17Inflatable side curtains almost make you want to crash.
01:20I don't need a promotion. As assistant manager of Strickland Propane, I'm already at the top.
01:27Yeah. Okay. I leave you to think about that one.
01:36Game, set, and match. Hank Hill.
01:42Heineken or Beck?
01:48Beck.
01:49Dark or Light?
01:51Dark. Beck, Dark.
01:53Oh, shoot. I gamble and lose. Just have Heineken and Beck Light.
01:57No Dark beer for new system manager or coordinated project systems?
02:01Oh, God. It is finally yours. Do you remember your last promotion? We had pass on bait all night long.
02:13Make love to me.
02:14No.
02:15Ha ha ha.
02:16Oh.
02:21Boy.
02:22Howdy.
02:28Where is Redneck?
02:29Redneck.
02:31So, Con, you need some propane?
02:36Haven't they replaced you with a coin-operated machine yet?
02:40Just give me your tank.
02:42I need it filled to the top this time. No more screwing me. I have big party tomorrow to celebrate my promotion. I new systems manager.
02:52Systems manager? Well, hell, I like the sound of that. Debbie, that's your new title.
02:57No! She not in systems.
02:59Systems? You disrespect important job.
03:02Well, I can't imagine anything more important than what Debbie does.
03:06So, uh, so what kind of systems do you manage, Con? Like a phone system?
03:12Ah, I can't tell you. We have big army contract.
03:17So, Con, these phones that you answer, do they sit on a big fancy desk like in a lobby, say?
03:24Hank, you come to work with me. You see, it humble you.
03:29No, I don't think so, Con. You see, we have phones right here in the office.
03:35I'd give you tour. Maybe we'd give you a big propane contract.
03:40So, you're looking for a propane contractor? Well, you know, we at Strickland Propane believe that...
03:48Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We be big client. You sure you can handle this by yourself?
03:52Maybe I need more senior redneck.
03:55Uh, no, I... I... but... you got me there, Con.
03:59We at Strickland Propane believe that...
04:02So, if you could tell me a little bit about the company's propane needs, then I can...
04:09It's all mine, Hank. Private office.
04:12You've got such a bug in your bonnet above phones?
04:16Check this out. I call France on this phone whenever I want.
04:20France, Europe, Huckleberry.
04:22No window?
04:25Ha ha! Board security! Look at this computer. Fastest processors in the world.
04:32Gotta do your own typing, huh?
04:35Okay, you come with me.
04:37Hank, you tell anyone about any of this stuff, they will hunt you down.
04:48You don't have the clearance. Nobody trusts you like they trust me.
04:52Now, prepare your brain for...
05:06Razzle, Razzle!
05:07Con, I don't have to play golf with you to sell you, because propane hits a hole-in-one every time.
05:14No.
05:15No.
05:16No!
05:19Nella!
05:20Whoa.
05:22Company created most resilient ceramic composite ever.
05:26Army want to use it on all new tanks.
05:29We put it on his golf club.
05:31Bango!
05:32Bar go 400 yards every time!
05:35You try. Go ahead.
05:37Take a swing.
05:38Impressive?
05:48Yeah.
05:49Ha ha!
05:50You impressed with Khan's great job.
05:54Huh?
05:55No, no, I'm not.
05:57Too late.
05:58You say it.
05:58Bah ha!
05:59You impressed.
06:00I win.
06:02Hmm.
06:03Now!
06:04Get off my company's property!
06:07If this is your way of negotiating, it's working.
06:10Now, I'm prepared to offer you a 5% discount a gallon.
06:15No one want your dinosaur gas.
06:17This whole place run on underground fuel cells that's safer and more efficient.
06:22You mean this whole time?
06:24Yeah.
06:24I yank you all afternoon.
06:34Ha ha ha!
06:35Ha ha ha!
06:36Ha ha ha!
06:37Ha ha ha!
06:38You know, this can never get back to Khan, but after swinging that club, I literally felt
06:45like dancing.
06:47You know, in Japan, a round of golf costs $12,000.
06:53You play from rooftop to rooftop, the balls are made out of rice somehow, and when you're
06:59all done, you gotta go home and sleep in a tube.
07:03You know, I work in the military, and I have never even heard of that club.
07:08Hank, do you ever have any regrets that you didn't go into systems?
07:12Well, if I couldn't sell propane, like, like if I hit my head and went dumb and just couldn't
07:19be trusted with it, then, yeah, I might consider going into systems, though.
07:28The wind was really against you in the back nine, General.
07:31No one could drive through that.
07:33You did.
07:34If you're gonna suck up, make some sense of it, man.
07:37Well, General, you should try that new club, with the special ceramic you're developing,
07:42with the composite company, 400 yards, every drive, that's what I hear.
07:50Didn't you all know about the club?
07:53Maybe I shouldn't have said nothing.
07:57We're gonna use that stuff on our tanks.
08:03Private Taylor is gay.
08:07Con, we're terminating your contract.
08:16It's a business call.
08:18I swear.
08:20I pay for it.
08:21Just bill me.
08:22Con, you broke your security agreement.
08:25Vacate the building within four minutes.
08:28Please.
08:29I didn't say anything to anybody.
08:33Aw, dang.
08:34Hey, look.
08:46There's a...
08:47It's a taxi.
08:51Company car trouble, Con?
08:54Hank Hill!
08:55You sell me out!
08:57You blab secrets everywhere, and I get fired!
09:00I didn't...
09:01Dale, are you posting our conversations on the internet again?
09:06Conversations, no.
09:08Actions, whereabouts, your mowing schedule, no comment.
09:12See, Con?
09:13Nobody told anybody anything.
09:18I was having a casual conversation with the General.
09:22I didn't know we were on the record.
09:24Hank!
09:24I confide on you, and you go tell your dog?
09:28They were your secrets for you to keep.
09:31Now, I'm sorry you were fired, but it was your own fault.
09:34You sorry for Con?
09:36Con's sitting pretty.
09:38I got seventh package bigger than a year of...
09:41Your...
09:41Your salary!
09:46Joke's on him.
09:52I don't even make a living wage.
09:55He-he-he.
09:57Hmm.
09:59Here.
10:01But...
10:02Hmm.
10:03Hmm.
10:05Hey, Peggy, did you hear?
10:07Con lost his job.
10:10Heh.
10:11Ugh.
10:11Boy, it's just awful.
10:13Heh.
10:13Heh.
10:14Well, heh.
10:16Systems is like that.
10:17It's a crazy business.
10:19Why'd you do it, Hank?
10:21Do what?
10:22Oh, good Lord, Hank.
10:23Everybody knows you can't tell Bill anything.
10:26Hey, don't try to make me into the bad guy.
10:29Con's the bad guy.
10:31He leaked government secrets.
10:33He's lucky they didn't shoot him.
10:34You know who's responsible for gossip?
10:37Gossipers.
10:38You are nothing but a chatty Cathy, Hank.
10:41A giant, 200-pound chatty Cathy.
10:47Hi.
10:48I heard Kong lost his job, and that reminded me I still hadn't returned your bowl.
10:52Well, thank you for dropping by, Peggy Hill.
10:57But we're going to be just fine.
10:59Something like this only makes us appreciate how many things we have.
11:04How many, many things.
11:07Just look around you.
11:09Take your time for Peggy Hill.
11:11Savor, like you in museum.
11:13Well, very, very nice.
11:16Oh, bread maker.
11:18Mm-hmm.
11:19Oh, fruit processor.
11:21Oh, ceramic panda.
11:23What do you know?
11:25Well, when you need a shoulder to cry on, I am just across the yard.
11:30As Doyle Harkavy says, shoulders make the best tissues.
11:34With the Marine forecast a small...
11:46I fill out form.
11:48I unemployed.
11:49Where my check?
11:50I'm sorry, sir.
11:52Your past employer apparently has filed an objection.
11:56Let's see here.
11:57Uh, under reason for dismissal, they checked other and then wrote in treason.
12:05Where my check?
12:07I'm sorry.
12:08Next.
12:13Shackleford, Rusty.
12:15Here you go, Mr. Shackleford.
12:21Well, all right, Con.
12:23You know, you almost look good enough to sell propane.
12:28You got a job interview already?
12:30You need interview.
12:31I got job.
12:33Good job.
12:34In reprographic imaging industry.
12:41Hey, man.
12:42I'm having a concert this Sunday.
12:44Could I put up one of my posters in your window?
12:47Get out before I three-hole punch your face.
12:51Help, I'm stuck.
12:52Mayday.
12:53Well, well, well.
12:57How the mighty have fallen.
13:02Anywho, this is what I'm trying to do.
13:04Combine my logo with a personal message.
13:08You know how to work paintbrush.
13:10Wait.
13:11First, I need you to swear that what you see here goes no further,
13:16given your history of blabbing about every top-secret thing that comes your way.
13:20Oh, I can't help you.
13:25I can't help any of you stupid people.
13:28How does this machine work, Mr. Con?
13:31How do I print?
13:33How do I save?
13:35It control S, you morons.
13:37It's always control S.
13:39All right, that's three strikes, Con.
13:42You're fired.
13:43Three?
13:43That's only two.
13:44I heard what you said to Mr. Mangione.
13:48Oh, yeah.
13:50See, the man can't keep a job.
13:53It's his personality, not me.
13:55Does this mean Connie's broke, too?
13:58They have all got nothing, Bobby.
14:01Connie, too.
14:02Nothing.
14:03That's why I ask men to teach Laotian to Bobby.
14:06It's a way to give them money without humiliating them so terribly.
14:11Well, I suppose we could throw a couple of bucks his way.
14:17And, uh, I mean two bucks.
14:22Bobby, there are only four tone markers in the Laotian language.
14:27Four.
14:28That's not so bad.
14:30And 42 continents and 35 vowel and vowel clusters.
14:34Oh, Bobby.
14:36Pretty soon we'll have a secret language we can speak in school.
14:40No, Connie.
14:41I teach him Southern dialect.
14:43He not the same class.
14:49Hey, Flabbermouth.
14:50You break it, you buy it.
14:56Peggy Hill.
14:57So glad you came.
14:59Let me show you what designer clothes look like.
15:02Maybe you're interested.
15:05Con, I love this ceramic panda marine radio.
15:09How much?
15:10It too much for you.
15:12No, price is too high.
15:14Just name it.
15:15$700.
15:17Sold.
15:17I mean $800.
15:18Sold.
15:19No.
15:20I take this off the market.
15:22Delicate equipment, not for redneck.
15:24Con, you sell him that stupid panda.
15:27We need the money.
15:28No.
15:29Yes.
15:30You sabotage our sale.
15:32Grimbo, make the check out to me.
15:33With pleasure.
15:35And your name is...
15:37Now nobody buy it.
15:42Happy?
15:44Everyone get off my lawn.
15:46Off.
15:46And stay off.
15:48Or I turn hose on you.
15:51Min, where my hose?
15:53It went quickly.
15:54It went quickly.
15:54Oh!
15:55The man attacked his own garage sale, Peggy.
16:00He's gone insane.
16:02Hank, you have to understand.
16:04Con is well aware that he has been reduced to the status of a cafeteria worker.
16:10And you, my dear, you put that hairnet on his head.
16:14Peggy, is it my fault he makes people hate him?
16:18I don't whisper in his ear every morning, be a jerk.
16:22That comes from within.
16:24Dad, can I have 15 for my Laotian lesson?
16:32Better not mean dollar.
16:40That's it.
16:44Hello, men.
16:45Where's Con?
16:50Bush out through bathroom door.
16:52He locked himself in.
16:54Well, nothing wrong with that.
16:56You're supposed to lock the door.
16:58It helps avoid embarrassing mishaps.
17:00He not talking to me.
17:03Oh, excuse me.
17:05Things right now...
17:07You know.
17:08Oh, this not the first time Con fired Orange County, Portland, Mississippi, for God's sake.
17:16Well, the severance that Con told me about...
17:19Oh, there's no severance.
17:22Hear me?
17:23Con leaked the secret, broke the contract.
17:26We get nothing.
17:27We live from paycheck to paycheck, and now we broke it in a stone.
17:31Listen, Peggy and I have just been marveling at Bobby's progress with Laotian, so...
17:42Well, I thought I'd pay for ten lessons up front.
17:47Yeah, good idea.
17:53What you doing?
17:55We are not Charity Case.
17:56Yes, we are.
17:57You make us one.
17:59Oh, so now it's my fault I fired?
18:02I'm out of here.
18:03Yep.
18:18Yeah.
18:20Mm-hmm.
18:22Connie.
18:23Connie.
18:24Come on, no, no, no, go.
18:26Meh.
18:27Howlin' no, mo, how?
18:28Come on, I don't need.
18:30Jow got to cook on.
18:32I gotta go.
18:35What was that about?
18:37That was a series of vowel clusters.
18:44Please tell me I never look that bad.
18:47Well, Con's been gone for three days, and hasn't so much as cold.
18:52I'll bet he's on an adventure.
18:54Well, it's not him I'm thinking about.
18:55I mean, what would you do if Dale just suddenly left you high and dry like that?
19:01Oh, Shook.
19:04I wouldn't get out of bed for a week.
19:19Why don't you go help her out, honey?
19:21Well, the neighborly thing to do is to keep our distance.
19:34Need a hand there?
19:38Oh, I'm surrounded by trash.
19:43Con used to say that when he looked at neighbors.
19:45Well, if there's anything else you need...
19:49Refrigerator make terrible noise.
19:52It would break any second.
19:55Gutters are clogged.
19:56Bedroom door stuck.
19:58Lawn go wild like jungle.
20:02Come, get your ladder.
20:04Come on, Hank Hill.
20:05You go on roof now.
20:07So, Hank, I certainly have noticed how helpful you've been to men.
20:33Yeah, and I told her I'd seal her driveway tomorrow.
20:38But what about drinking in the alley?
20:40Yes, exactly.
20:41I can't get this time back.
20:44I'm just trying to do the neighborly thing, like you said.
20:48Well, just try to keep in mind that we don't like them very much, remember?
20:51It's like he's got two families.
21:19It's two families.
21:21I think that's unfair when some of us don't even have the one.
21:27I'd think he likes being bossed around by women if I didn't know better, which I don't.
21:40Bill?
21:41Hank.
21:42Dale?
21:43Hank.
21:44Boom, hire?
21:45Nice.
21:47Polygamist!
21:48Men, uh, I think what you need is a new compressor cable right here, preferably a copper one.
22:03So, how would I get that part?
22:06From the hardware store.
22:08They're kind of far away, right?
22:10Yeah.
22:15I'll pick one up for you.
22:17I was going to head over there myself.
22:19Just for fun, though.
22:24Is that...
22:24Where the hell have you been?
22:40Looking for a new wife sent you by mine.
22:43I was just paying her for Laotian lessons.
22:46And do you know what I'm doing now?
22:48Buying a part for your damn refrigerator.
22:51Not in there.
22:53I got shirts soaking in wool-eye.
22:55Con, go home and take care of business.
22:58I not go back without new kick-ass job.
23:01I show you.
23:03I get jobs that make you cry every day.
23:06Look, Con, I love propane through and through.
23:10But, okay, I'll give you this.
23:12Your old job was something else, okay?
23:14Now go home.
23:15No, I can't fail.
23:19It's not supposed to happen to me.
23:22I'm Asian, for God's sake.
23:25More expected of me.
23:27You not understand.
23:29You somebody's worker bee.
23:31If I accept your redneck life,
23:33it's like I bury myself alive.
23:37Well, what about men and Connie?
23:39You my best friend.
23:41You take care of them.
23:43I'm your best friend?
23:44No, I take it back.
23:46Nobody takes care of them.
23:49Time's hard, but men's a fighter.
23:51They be okay.
23:55Why do you keep watching me, you pervert?
23:58Somebody get the manager!
24:02No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
24:13Bobby, dinner's ready.
24:15Oh, uh, by the way,
24:17I accidentally picked up an extra bucket of chicken on the way home,
24:22if you guys are interested.
24:23How do you know it's extra yet?
24:36Con, you got a lot of um-sing about you ought to come back here.
24:41I got a new job.
24:42Make 20,000 more a year.
24:44Okay, maybe I'll let you back in, but you sleep on a couch.
24:49I thought you'd be happy.
24:51So we pack up quickly.
24:53Job in Houston.
24:54Oh, no.
24:55I'm not moving again.
24:58People here grudgingly accept us.
25:01That's rare.
25:02It's three-hour drive.
25:04Not negotiable.
25:05You commute.
25:07Hey, neighbor.
25:09Maybe I buy your house.
25:10Storage for my own things.
25:12What do you think of that?
25:14My house is not for sale.
25:16Oh.
25:17Then I guess I buy your bank and foreclose on you.
25:25That's a good one, Con.
25:27Are you laughing or crying because of my great new car?
25:32Turbo engine, halogen light, 6-CB changer in trunk?
25:36In the trunk?
25:37Well, if you need a hand installing it in your dash, let me know.
25:42It's supposed to be in trunk.
25:44It plays CDs in trunk.
25:46Why?
25:47Who's going to want to ride in the trunk?
25:50You wish you could ride in my trunk.
25:53My trunk's so plush, it's like movie star trunk.
25:56Well, you got me there, Con.
25:58My trunk is not like a movie star trunk.
26:01It's just a family man trunk.
26:05Thank you, Hank.
26:06It's just a family man trunk.
26:07It's just a family man trunk.
26:08It's just a family man trunk.
26:09It's just a family man trunk.
26:10It's just a family man trunk.
26:11It's just a family man trunk.
26:12It's just a family man trunk.
26:13It's just a family man trunk.
26:14It's just a family man trunk.
26:15It's just a family man trunk.
26:16It's just a family man trunk.
26:17It's just a family man trunk.
26:18It's just a family man trunk.
26:19It's just a family man trunk.
26:20It's just a family man trunk.
26:21It's just a family man trunk.
26:22It's just a family man trunk.
26:23It's just a family man trunk.
26:24It's just a family man trunk.
26:25It's just a family man trunk.
26:26It's just a family man trunk.
26:27It's just a family man trunk.
26:28Prepare your brain for
Recommended
26:50
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