- 5/19/2025
King Of The Hill Season 3 Episode 11 To Spank With Love
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00:00I'm getting some nice color.
00:05Look out, Mrs. Hill!
00:07Snake!
00:11Oh, it's a harmless bull snake.
00:14I'd say he, oh, pardon, she, is about nine months old.
00:23Your mom's of course most people's dads.
00:27Wolf, it's like that book they took out of the school library.
00:32I've got two dads.
00:35No, you don't.
00:36No, you don't.
00:39No, you don't.
00:39No, you don't.
00:45No.
01:16This is Hill.
01:22Tom Landry Middle School needs you, Peggy.
01:25This job's for at least a week, maybe two.
01:28Can you sub for Mrs. Gonzalez?
01:30Gonzalez?
01:32Well, that's Spanish, isn't it?
01:34Yes, it is.
01:35Your best subject.
01:37You'll be fine.
01:38Just fine.
01:41There's something you're not telling me.
01:43Dang it, Peggy, I could lose my job.
01:46Dig-a-my.
01:48I just can't.
01:50But on a completely unrelated subject, hadn't it been a while since your last surprise in-class evaluation?
01:57Well, yes it has, but tell me what you...
02:00Oh.
02:01Ms. Hill, I'm Ms. Ayers.
02:09I'm here to evaluate you.
02:11Really?
02:12Oh, I had no idea.
02:15My goodness.
02:16An evaluation.
02:17Well, that...
02:18Imagine.
02:19A substitute.
02:29A tag.
02:31Hi, Mrs. Hill.
02:32Buenos dias, Consuela.
02:34I have always enjoyed a special relationship with my students.
02:39In fact, one of them reminded me yesterday that I was honored as substitute teacher of the year 1996 through 1997 inclusive.
02:49That's impressive.
02:50So many subs get bullied by their students.
02:52Well, a bully is just someone who victimizes others to make themselves feel important.
02:59Would you like me to repeat that slowly?
03:01Oh, no.
03:01I'm just penalizing you for starting class late.
03:04You were saying?
03:04Hello, me llamo Senyora Margarita Hill.
03:12¿Cómo te llamas?
03:14Me llamo Joseph Gribble.
03:16Oh, bueno, Jose Gribble.
03:22¿Y tú?
03:24¿Cómo te llamas?
03:26Me llamo Clark Peters.
03:30Muchos gustos, Carlos Pedros.
03:34Vamos a aprender los partes del cuerpo humano.
03:46Por ejemplo, esta es mi mano.
03:53SÃ, muy divertido.
03:56No más, ¿ok?
03:58Ok.
03:59Bueno, esta es mi cabeza.
04:04¿Quién está tirando los darts de nerf?
04:13Está Dooley, Senyora Hill.
04:15Senyora Dooley, venga.
04:18You're dead.
04:20En español, por favor.
04:22Tú eres muerto.
04:24Muy bien.
04:29Senyora Dooley, esta es mi asistente especial.
04:35Bueno, esta es mi cabeza.
04:38Esta es mi piso.
04:45Mi piso es pastano.
04:49Stop it.
04:50I know what you are doing and just stop it.
04:53En español, por favor.
04:55Clás Casi.
04:57Clás Casi.
04:59Atención.
05:00Atención, clás Casi, please.
05:02needs improvement i have never needed to improve on anything in my whole life
05:11this will be in my personnel file forever relax peggy everyone has a bad day i remember back when
05:19i first started at strickland propane there was this guy who had a bad day uh see i can't even
05:28remember that fella's name now
05:43all right everybody sit down on delay
05:56can't seem to get this to work
06:01okay we don't have a lot of time for monkey business
06:05so i think we'll skip attendance today and finish up our vocabulary lesson
06:14i have had it with you too i am a very fun teacher but i will not be bullied give me your watches
06:22come on give it to me i am not joking you two
06:25i pulled your pants down
06:40oh yeah
06:55Oh, yeah!
07:08Oh, holy crap.
07:17Eighteen years, eighteen years of teaching thrown out the window with one flick of the wrist.
07:23Don't panic, Peggy. There's lots you can do.
07:26I could design software. People have always said that.
07:29I could open up a paint-your-own-pottery store.
07:32You know how much they get for that crap?
07:34Now, slow down, Peggy. They won't fire you.
07:37You're a substitute teacher.
07:40They'll just stop calling.
07:41But that's not going to happen either.
07:44Well, maybe it should.
07:46I hit an innocent child.
07:48I'm sure you didn't hurt him.
07:50I should know. I got spanked plenty in school.
07:54Really?
07:55Well, you turned out just fine.
07:57Better than fine.
07:58And back then, they even used a paddle called Old Spanky.
08:03It was a piece of hickory about yay big,
08:06and it had holes drilled in it to cut down on wind resistance
08:12and a little pine tar on the handle for a no-slip grip.
08:18Good old Spanky.
08:24Mom, what were you thinking?
08:27Bobby, honey, I am so sorry.
08:29I'm sorry. I just did not know what to do.
08:32Dooley pantsed you.
08:34That's what he does.
08:35And when it happens, you pull up your pants and move on.
08:40If you don't know that,
08:41no wonder you bombed on your evaluation.
08:44I never even spank our dog.
08:50Not that your son is worse than our dog,
08:52because he's not,
08:53and we have a very, very good dog,
08:55so that speaks volumes for your son.
08:57Mrs. Hill, please, we should apologize to you.
09:00I'm sure Stuart deserved it.
09:01We know what a handful he can be.
09:03Well, what are you saying?
09:06You did good.
09:07Hmm, let's see.
09:10Teacher's statement.
09:12Response from the parents.
09:14Okay, looks like all our ducks are in a row.
09:18Peggy, you're fired.
09:19But, but the Dooley forgave me.
09:23Hmm, let's see.
09:24Uh, there's nothing in here about forgiveness.
09:27There are procedures for administering legal spankings,
09:30which you violated at every turn,
09:31and there are procedures for terminating the teacher,
09:34which I followed to a T.
09:36Emily?
09:36I'm required to have a hall monitor escort you off campus.
09:45It's over, Mrs. Hill.
09:55I'm sorry, ladies.
09:57Looks like there's not gonna be a three-peat.
10:00Oh, Hank, what am I gonna do?
10:03Well, uh, I got you a book on designing softball.
10:06Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
10:18Well, you had it all, Peggy Hill.
10:23Hey there, Aunt's wife
10:30What you crying for?
10:31Got your monthlies?
10:33God, I am in no mood
10:35Why are you here?
10:37BFW meeting and pancake supper
10:39So I'll need you to whip me up some pancakes
10:42Couple hundred will do
10:44And as much syrup as you got
10:46Fine
10:47I will go make you
10:50Two hundred pancakes
10:52How's Bobby?
11:03He's just fine
11:04But my information about Bobby is a little dated
11:07He hasn't spoken to me
11:10Since I got fired
11:12For spanking
11:14A student
11:15Fired?
11:18What'd you do, kill him?
11:19No
11:19Ain't no law against spanking
11:21Tell you what
11:23I got a friend over to the BFW
11:25Used to principal at Hank's school
11:28He'll have you back spanking in no time
11:31Oh, I just want my job back
11:33I'm not gonna spank again
11:35Shut up before you talk me out of it
11:37In my thirty-five years at Tom Landry Middle School
11:47I spanked thousands of students
11:50Shaping their character
11:52And preparing them to die in wars overseas
11:56But actually, I only spanked once
11:58Now she's just being modest
12:00She's the first teacher
12:02Since they killed LBJ
12:03To stand up to those draft dodgers
12:05All right
12:06Peggy
12:07We're gonna get you back in that classroom
12:10Step one
12:12You gotta meet the school board
12:15Oh, spanky
12:18Go on, take it
12:23It's yours
12:24I got nobody to hit anymore
12:26Thanks for this terrific symbol
12:29And for helping me to get my job back
12:32All right, Dad
12:33Let's hear it for Paddling Peggy
12:36Take off your job
12:42Shut up, Wendell
12:44That's tomorrow night
12:45Hi, guys
12:49Hank
12:52I just had the most inspiring afternoon
12:55With Cotton and his army buddies
12:57They're gonna circulate a petition
12:58To help me get my job back
13:00I even have the support
13:02Of your old principal
13:03Jeter Turbeville
13:04Jeter the beater?
13:06Oh, God
13:07What's that under your arm?
13:09Old spanky
13:10Can you believe
13:11They ever used something like this?
13:14No
13:14Spanking was wrong then
13:21And it's wrong now
13:23I say spare the rod
13:24And spoil the child
13:26Dale
13:27Spare the rod
13:29And spoil the child
13:30Means you're in favor of spanking
13:33I don't think so
13:37Man, I tell you what
13:38Man, I'm gonna bring back
13:39All those bad memories
13:40About
13:41I don't talk about
13:41Jeter the beater
13:42Man, I'm gonna
13:43Well, whack
13:44Man, I'm gonna turn
13:45On their pillows, man
13:46Well, I don't know
13:47My daddy spanked me
13:49Every day
13:49From when I was nine
13:51Till I was sixteen
13:52And I turned out okay
13:54Bastard
13:57Mastered
13:58Peggy
14:05We sure do miss you at Landry
14:09I'm not a spanker, okay
14:11But if you can bring discipline back into our school
14:14Then I am behind you one hundred percent
14:17I wish I had the guts you do, sister
14:20I'm no hero
14:21Stuart Dooley just caught me on a bad day
14:24Don't be modest
14:25You are an inspiration to all of us teachers
14:28And that's why we signed that petition in support of Paddling Peggy
14:33Oh, well, that's just those vets being silly
14:37Here, have a button
14:38The school board vote on reinstating Mrs. Peggy Hill passes
14:49All right, Paddling Peggy
14:52You're tall, sister
14:54Well, he did it, Hanks wife
14:56Party at my house
14:58Pancakes for everyone
15:00Take off your top
15:03Well, I'm off to work, Mrs. Hill
15:09Me too, Mr. Hill
15:11Uh, Mrs. Hill
15:13Why are you bringing the paddle?
15:15Oh, I have to
15:16People are expecting it
15:18Besides, your father worked very hard to put Paddling Peggy back in the classroom
15:24See, that's the thing
15:25My dad thinks you're gonna use it
15:28Oh, Hank, don't be silly, honey
15:31It's just a bluff
15:32I am gonna scare my students
15:34Exactly the way President Reagan scared hundreds of millions of Russians
15:39With his Star Wars death beam
15:41I miss voting for that man
15:45Listen, I just want to apologize for what happened the other day
15:51I will never, ever spank another student like that again
15:56Because now I have this
15:59But, of course, it will not be necessary to use this
16:04Because, well, now you all know I have it in me
16:08So, why don't we just start all over
16:12Yo soy
16:14Paddling Peggy Hill
16:18Mm-hmm
16:23El Capitale de Uruguay es Montevideo
16:32Do you think she's gonna use that paddle?
16:35I don't know
16:37But I'll tell you what
16:38Uh, excuse me
16:39Should you be talking while I am talking?
16:42Paddling Peggy says
16:43Uh
16:44Pe-
16:45Oh
16:46Paddling Peggy says
16:47Uh-uh-uh
16:48You gotta do something about Mom
16:56This whole paddling Peggy stick is really creepy
17:00Joseph won't even come over to play anymore
17:03Cause he says he's having nightmares about that stupid paddle
17:07Did you hear that?
17:09My son is dreaming about getting spanked by your wife
17:13Well, that's not so unusual
17:15You gotta get your woman in line
17:18Uh, Peggy's kinda hard to talk to lately
17:22Well, she's feeling powerful now
17:26So her body is producing extra amounts of testosterone
17:30I bet if Peggy wanted to
17:32She could grow a mustache
17:34Of course, I don't know why she'd want to
17:38Guess who won
17:52Best French manicure at the beauty academy today
17:55Dad, can I go ride bikes with Joseph?
18:06I thought we'd watch Shark Week on the Discovery Channel
18:09Michael Palin is hosting
18:11I don't want to
18:13But, honey, you love Michael Palin
18:16Are you coming down with something?
18:18Let me feel your forehead
18:19I don't want to watch your stupid show, okay?
18:24Bobby!
18:26Well, what is wrong with him?
18:28Probably nothing
18:29Or, uh, uh, it could be you
18:35And, uh, your whooping stick
18:39It's a paddle
18:40And he has a name
18:41Old Spanky
18:43Hank, do I tell you how to sell propane and propane accessories?
18:48Did I criticize you for your big spatula Tuesday fiasco?
18:53No, I did not
18:55Because I respect you as a professional
18:57And that is all I want, Hank
18:59Just a little respect
19:01But I guess that's too much to ask for from you and Bobby
19:04All right
19:07It was Sharana Johnson
19:09It's not fair
19:10She works really hard
19:11Hank, Channel 84 wants to do something on Padlin' Peggy
19:23Where is old Spanky?
19:25Maybe you left it at work
19:27No, no
19:28I know I had it with me on the drive home
19:30I remember brandishing it at this idiot who almost cut me off
19:33Ugh
19:34Oh, I've got to retrace my steps home
19:43Okay, I'm, I'm driving home
19:46Uh, brandish, brandish, brandish
19:48Oh, God, I must have dropped it on the streets
19:51Stop, Peggy
19:56Would you look at yourself?
19:59Oh, Spanky
20:01Joseph Gribble
20:13Did you put this here?
20:14No
20:15Uh, Joseph
20:19You are talking to Padlin' Peggy here
20:23All right, what's going on?
20:25Yeah
20:26Your son stole my Padlin' Peggy paddle
20:29This is the only thing that stands between the Arlen school system and complete chaos
20:34Yeah
20:34Apologize you
20:36I didn't do anything
20:38All right
20:39I am not all talk, you know
20:41Yeah
20:41You didn't apologize
20:42Yeah
20:42So you chose your fight
20:44Somebody stop her
20:46Peggy, no
20:47I said I didn't do anything
20:49He's telling the truth, Mom
20:52He was with me all day
20:54Well, somebody took it
20:56It was Bill
20:57No, it wasn't
20:59All right, it was me
21:02I took it
21:03Somebody had to stop you
21:04You're crazy
21:05Uma
21:14It's okay, son
21:23Daddy's here
21:25You big boy
21:29Oh, Hank
21:43What was I thinking?
21:45The important thing is your spanking days are over
21:48Right?
21:50Well, so are my teaching days
21:51At least until the day they make pants that cannot be pulled down by someone other than the wearer
21:58Sounds to me like you're scared
22:00You know, I have a little speech I've been saving for the day Bobby gets beat up by a bully
22:07But I don't think that's ever going to happen
22:10Him and his darn prop comedy
22:12Every time the boy gets into a jam, he shoves french fries up his nose and makes a new friend
22:19Anyway, I think my speech might apply here
22:24Do you want to hear it?
22:25Oh, Hank
22:26No
22:27You know, somewhere inside me is the old Peggy Hill
22:30The one who taught children without scaring the bejesus out of them
22:34I just need to find her again
22:38And then she freaked out
22:44And she dropped a paddle right in the middle of the alley
22:47And without that paddle
22:49She looked just like Bobby's mom
22:52That's the bell
22:55That's the bell
22:56Buenos dias, clase
23:09Senor Duly, I thought you were suspended
23:13I thought you were fired
23:17Bygones are bygones, so welcome back
23:23Well, I thought we might talk about a special part of Spanish history
23:30Your feet are big
23:35Paddle and Peggy, why don't you spank them?
23:43Yeah, Paddle and Peggy
23:45Fine, all you children are interested in this punishment
23:55So I will teach you about punishment
23:59With this
24:00With this
24:01Yes, yes
24:08Oh, yeah
24:14Oh, yeah
24:15Spain
24:181478
24:20The weapon of choice
24:22The mace
24:23It was the beginning of the Spanish Inquisition
24:27Even though it was begun with the best of intentions
24:30A number of very nice, innocent people were brutally punished
24:34And without a doubt
24:36The worst thing about the Spanish Inquisition
24:38Was that nobody ever said
24:41They were sorry
24:42How were they punished?
24:47Oh, all kinds of awful ways
24:50Like what?
24:53Well, sometimes they would strike you with one of these
24:56Sometimes they would make you lie on a bed of spikes
25:00And then pour boiling oil on you
25:03And sometimes they would tie your arms and legs to four different horses
25:10And tear you apart
25:12Cool
25:15Why, I feel like I'm being watched
25:26Joseph
25:27Joseph
25:29Oh, what?
25:33Careful, Joseph
25:36I'm just here to play with Bobby
25:39I don't want any trouble
25:40I could use a little help preparing the soil
25:43Why don't you spread the mulch?
25:46What's it made out of?
25:49Paddle
25:49And goat manure
25:54Childhood
25:55The time we catch
25:57The time we catch
26:12The time we catch
26:14You're Hoe
26:15I'm the folks
26:16To Eris Muerto
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