- 5/19/2025
King Of The Hill Season 3 Episode 21 Revenge Of The Lutefisk
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TVTranscript
00:00Music
00:27So I told that state trooper
00:32Ignorance of the Lord is no excuse either
00:36Well, that was quick
00:39Yeah, well, the Winston Cup's on at noon
00:42And Reverend Thomason always wraps it up in plenty of time
00:46And now, friends, I'm sad to say
00:49That I've decided to retire from Arlen First Methodist
00:54Retire? The man works half a day a week
01:00After much reflection and soul-searching
01:03I've decided that the future of God is on the Internet
01:08CyberRev.com will spread the gospel to every online soul in the world
01:14Unless you have AOL
01:15I'll be hosting a potluck dinner on Saturday
01:20To welcome your new minister
01:22The new guy better like sports
01:25Reverend Karen Stroop
01:27The woman
01:30So it's up and running
01:35The secret lab in the basement of the Harvard Divinity School
01:39Where they ordain women surgically
01:43The Pebble Beach Celebrity Golf Pro-Am is this Sunday
01:47If this gal's sermon runs late
01:50You know how women like to talk
01:52We're gonna miss Matt Lauer's opening drive
01:55You know what I think
01:57I think God sent a female minister here to punish me
02:01First single gal to move to Arlen in years
02:03And she's forbidden to marry
02:05Uh, Bill, ministers can marry
02:09No
02:10Thank you, God
02:12Wait till Cotton finds out about this female man of God
02:17I almost hesitate to fax it to him
02:21That's not gonna happen, Dale
02:23I told you to stop sending my dad the Gribble Report
02:28You tell me a lot of things, Hank
02:30Most of which I publish
02:33Now, Bobby, honey
02:38Let's try to make Reverend Stroop feel very welcome, okay?
02:42Some people, they just cannot accept women in positions of real authority
02:48I remember my first day as a fourth grade substitute teacher
02:52Look, there she is
02:56I'm a successful tire distributor
02:58Back me up
02:59Well, hello, Reverend
03:07I am Peggy Hill
03:10And this is Peggy Hill's Frito Pie
03:13It is a traditional Texas recipe that I found on a bag of Fritos
03:18Whoa, Peggy Hill
03:20Peggy Hill, Peggy Hill, Peggy Hill
03:23Good
03:24You are in for a real treat
03:28I've prepared a little taste of Minnesota called Lutefisk
03:33It's a Scandinavian delicacy made by baking codfish in a solution of lye
03:39Until the bones become gelatinous
03:42Oh, what?
03:44Okay, honey
03:45We'll be right there
03:48Oh, my husband is dying to meet you
03:52Hank Hill, Hank Hill, Hank Hill
03:59Good
04:00So, your first sermon tomorrow
04:03You nervous?
04:05Yeah, a little
04:06Me too
04:07You see, the Pebble Beach Pro-Am is on at 1.30
04:11And my VCR doesn't always work
04:14Oh, that could be a problem
04:16The quarterback challenge is on at 1.15
04:21Don't want to miss that
04:22You're a football fan?
04:24Let's just say between God and the Vikings
04:27Sunday's not my day of rest
04:31Well, you might be all right
04:34Seriously, though, how are you fixed for propane?
04:40This stuff stinks
04:56When I found out I'd been assigned to a church in Texas, I was a little worried
05:05A lot of female ministers don't last too long down here
05:09Yeah, it gets pretty hot in the summer
05:12Hank, let me ask you something
05:16Do you like fish?
05:20Only catching them, gutting them, and eating them
05:23Just a taste, Hank
05:27I want everyone in the congregation to have some lutefisk
05:31And I only made enough for 30
05:33My lutefisk!
05:35Where is my lutefisk?
05:37I put it right here
05:38Between the Frito Pie and the Frito Pie
05:41Has anyone seen it?
05:45Baby, you put it on the dessert table
05:48Next to my lemon bars
05:50Well, it's not here
05:55Can everyone help me look?
05:57I found it!
06:01Did anyone get to try some?
06:10Someone just threw it out?
06:13That's right
06:14I found it in the trash
06:16Oh, poor Reverend Stroop, huh?
06:23Just seeing how much people enjoyed my Frito Pie
06:26Must have, well, must have been salt in her wounds
06:29It's sort of an odd way to attack a gal
06:32To throw out her favorite fish
06:34Mm-hmm
06:35But I doubt that there is anything
06:38That could have hurt that woman more
06:40Let's go
06:51If we get to church late
06:52We'll have to park in the dirt lot
06:54I met
07:03Y'all
07:04Last night
07:06I know you are good people
07:09Decent people
07:11I'm not going to judge the whole town
07:14Based on the sins of one lost soul
07:17I'm not even going to judge that one person
07:25Because I still don't know who it is
07:29Well, it was worth a shot
07:36Please open your Bibles to Mark 6, 41
07:41And the two fishes
07:45Divided he among them all
07:48And they did all eat and were filled
07:53And they took up twelve baskets
07:57Full of the fragments and of the fishes
07:59Ma, I left a shoe in the car
08:02Be right back
08:04Dad!
08:07Let us pray
08:11What'd I miss?
08:19Did she dance yet?
08:21How did he find out about this?
08:23Psst!
08:24Colonel
08:24I saved you a seat
08:26Here's another Minnesota tradition
08:36That's not so easy to throw in the garbage
08:39Let's everyone rise
08:42And hug the person next to you
08:45Leave it to a woman
08:51To turn God's house into a love shack
08:54Permission to hug you, Colonel
08:56Denied!
08:58Go hug your wife
08:59I can't
09:00She's hugging the person next to her
09:03Looks like you need someone to hug
09:08Looks like you need to read your Bible
09:11And I quote
09:12Women should remain silent in the churches
09:15They are not allowed to speak
09:17But must be in submission
09:18Corinthians
09:20Yes, but in the book of
09:22Billy Graham
09:23Man
09:24Jimmy Swaggart
09:25Man
09:27Karen Stroop
09:28Enough
09:29If you hurt this woman
09:32This single woman
09:34And you take her away from me
09:36I promise
09:37I will strike you down
09:39I made my point
09:42If you need me
09:44I'll be in the one part of this church
09:46That's still
09:47Men's only
09:48I'm sorry
09:59I ate all the lutefisk
10:02Why did you have to taste so good?
10:08Why?
10:09Why?
10:09Mercy
10:16Mister
10:17What did you eat?
10:26I'll forget it
10:28I'll take my business elsewhere
10:30Hello?
10:48Hello?
10:50Yeah
10:50Is anyone in there?
10:53Hello?
10:54Are you okay?
11:00I'll be in the one part of this church
11:30What's that smell?
11:39Nothing.
11:40Wait a minute, I know that smell.
11:44Fire!
12:00Oh, God, oh, God, please don't let it be the propane tanks.
12:22I just spoke to the arson investigator.
12:26His investigation points to arson.
12:31Someone did this because they don't want a woman minister.
12:37To him I say, you can burn down our church, but you cannot burn down our faith.
12:45Our faith is the kind of stuff that children's pajamas should be made of.
12:53Why would someone want to burn down our church?
12:57Honey, they weren't trying to burn down our church.
13:01They were trying to kill Reverend Stroop.
13:04The fire started in a garbage can in the men's room.
13:09And I read in the paper that the flames were so hot, they literally burned the very wood the church was made of.
13:20Bobby, you haven't even touched your aros con chicken.
13:25I'm not eating.
13:27Ever again.
13:28I don't blame you.
13:30I ate bugs in the war.
13:32Tasted better than this.
13:34Actually, Cotton, I think he's upset about what happened to the church.
13:38It burnt down.
13:39I feel so bad.
13:48It's not your fault, honey.
13:49Whoever committed this hate crime is the one who should starve himself to death, not you.
13:55Oh, our sweet, sweet little sensitive little boy.
14:04He feels everything so deeply like a poet, a cowboy poet.
14:12It is with a heavy heart that I welcome you to this interfaith prayer service.
14:23Protestant and Catholic, Jew and Buddhist, man and woman, we are all brought together today by hate.
14:35Oh, I hate hate.
14:37Hate that throws out my lutefisk.
14:41Hate that burns down our church.
14:45Hate that makes an innocent little boy stop eating.
14:49That's right.
14:51Would Bobby Hill please come up to the microphone?
14:55Go on, honey.
14:56It'll be okay.
14:57Psst!
14:58Man!
14:59Man!
14:59Man!
14:59Bobby, the strength of your devotion is an inspiration to us all.
15:10That's why I want you to be the first to know the police have found the matchbook that started the fire
15:18and are closing in on the arsonist.
15:24Bobby!
15:24For the sake of this poor, tortured soul, please help us find the man responsible for this hate crime.
15:37If you know anyone who might carry a matchbook from a strip club in Houston, tell the police.
15:45The matchbook came from a strip club in Houston.
15:56A strip club in Houston, Hank.
16:01A strip...
16:01My father did not burn down the church.
16:05Lots of guys go to strip clubs in Houston.
16:07Oh, and also go to church in Arlen where they harass female ministers
16:12and then announce they're going to the men's room
16:15where a fire is started with matches from a strip club in Houston?
16:29Ripple!
16:31Ripple!
16:31You gotta help me!
16:34They found my girly bar matches.
16:37It's only a matter of time before they accuse me of church burberry.
16:41Colonel, I would be honored if you used my phone to claim responsibility.
16:47But I didn't do it, you idiot!
16:49The evidence suggests otherwise.
16:52They've got your matchbook and it won't be long before I turn you in.
16:56God!
16:58Okay.
16:59Here's how it went down.
17:02I tried to go to the latrine.
17:05But there was already a man in there.
17:08I lit one match in self-defense.
17:11And then beat a hasty retreat.
17:14The smelly man must have set the fire after I left.
17:18Find the man with the terrible smell.
17:21And you'll have your arsonist.
17:26Sir, your only hope is to make a run for it.
17:32Wake up, Hank.
17:41Going somewhere?
17:43Now why don't you just turn around, go back to bed, and no one gets hurt.
17:51Quick!
17:52You gots to hide me!
17:56We know you're in there.
18:07Come out with your hands up.
18:11Cotton Hill, you're under arrest for arson.
18:14You got the wrong man!
18:16Let me down!
18:17Mom, he didn't start the fire.
18:20He couldn't have.
18:22Bobby!
18:23Grandpa!
18:24I didn't do it!
18:25I believe you!
18:26It was somebody else!
18:28I know!
18:29Look for the man with the terrible smell!
18:32He's the one you want!
18:33You hear me?
18:34The man with the terrible smell!
18:39I'll miss you!
18:40Okay, show's over.
18:58Nothing to see here.
18:59Everyone go home.
19:01It's a circus out there.
19:03By now, it's all over town.
19:11My dad is an arsonist.
19:13Well, I don't know why you're so surprised.
19:15I have always said that man is capable of anything.
19:19Before, people used to look away or pretend not to hear me.
19:23But now, they will all have to nod in agreement.
19:26Yes, they will!
19:27Even if Grandpa did do it, it doesn't mean he's a bad person.
19:33Bobby, I've always stood by my dad, no matter what.
19:37And there's been a lot of what over the years.
19:41But burning down a church, I just don't know.
19:45But he's still your father, no matter what, right?
19:50Well, I know you can disown a child.
19:57There must be something like that for a parent.
20:06I'd like a one-way ticket to Mexico, por favor.
20:11That means today.
20:14Bobby?
20:15Grandma Dee Dee?
20:17Oh, Bobby.
20:18I just came in from Houston.
20:19Cotton is in jail.
20:21I know!
20:22Are you here to bail him out?
20:25There's no bail.
20:26He's burned down a church.
20:29Now our baby is going to grow up without a father.
20:32Not your and my baby.
20:35Cotton's and my baby.
20:36I feel so bad.
20:39It was an accident.
20:41I know it was an accident.
20:43Why can't they just leave him alone and forget about it?
20:48This baby was an accident, too.
20:50But if I forgot about it, it would never get born.
20:55I think you have to be responsible for your accidents.
20:59Cotton thinks so, too.
21:01At least he stopped saying he didn't.
21:04Really?
21:04He said, if the baby turned out as good as you, Bobby, then he will not abandon it.
21:14Cotton, you have got to confess.
21:17You will feel better, and I will feel better.
21:20They're offering you a good deal.
21:23Cop to the hate crime, and they'll drop the 123 counts of attempted murder.
21:29No deal.
21:30I'm not taking a fall for the smelly man.
21:33Dang it, Dad.
21:34There is no smelly man.
21:37Now, now you listen to me.
21:40I spent two weeks on Iojima, buried under a pile of bodies.
21:46The things I smelled, you can't even imagine.
21:51But I'll never forget what I smelled that day in the church.
21:55It was a vengeful stink.
22:12It was a stink for the ages.
22:15I will tell you what stinks, old man.
22:18Your story stinks.
22:21Grandpa!
22:22Dad!
22:24Mom!
22:25It was...
22:28It was me!
22:31It's all my fault!
22:34I ate the lute of fisk.
22:37I got sick in the bathroom.
22:41I lit the matches.
22:43I burned down the church.
22:45I let everyone blame Grandpa.
22:50I told you I didn't do it.
22:53Your boy is a man with the terrible smell.
22:57Oh.
22:58I knew it.
22:59I knew this was too good to be true.
23:01Bobby, you are going to march down that hall and tell the police everything.
23:07See if maybe they will spare your grandfather's life.
23:11Okay.
23:13Nobody's going no place.
23:15Sit down, Hank.
23:16Hank's wife.
23:18You too, stinky.
23:19Hey, don't call him that.
23:22Oh, I'm sorry.
23:24Did I hurt your feelings, stinky?
23:27Grandpa?
23:28It don't feel so good, does it?
23:32Well, get used to it.
23:34Because that's what everyone's going to call you if you go blabbing to the police.
23:39Stinky.
23:40He's right.
23:42Oh, Lord.
23:42And there are other names, too.
23:44Yeah, how about arsonist?
23:46That's what they'll be calling him in State of Texas versus Bobby Hill.
23:51So many names.
23:53What are we going to do?
23:55You'll do what I say is what are you going to do.
23:58Now get the cops in here.
24:00Tell them I'm ready to confess.
24:02No, Dad, you can't.
24:04I'm an old man.
24:05Everybody already hates me.
24:08But Bobby, he's just a child.
24:09He's got his whole life ahead of him.
24:11Cotton, do you know what you're saying?
24:16If I can take a bullet for my grandson, I'll do it.
24:20But not in the face.
24:21That's how I make my livings.
24:23How you make your...
24:24Send him in!
24:27I'll tell you what I told the cops.
24:30I'm the one who burned down your church.
24:33But it was an accident.
24:35As for the man with the terrible smell,
24:38well, that was me, too.
24:41I'm old.
24:42I gots no shins.
24:44My plumbing don't work so good no more.
24:47I blamed the fire on someone else
24:49because I was embarrassed by my own terrible smell.
24:58The digestive problems of the elderly
25:02are their cross to bear,
25:03and we should pity them, not condemn them.
25:09Cotton Hill,
25:10You have my forgiveness and my love,
25:14and I invite the entire congregation
25:17to offer you their forgiveness and love
25:21with a hug.
25:23Mom, as long as we're confessing.
25:32Mom, as long as we're confessing.
25:46Remember when Grandpa broke the arm of your boggle trophy
25:50because he was playing soccer in the house?
25:53I will never forgive him for that.
25:57It was me.
25:58Mom, as long as we said.
25:58I forgive you.
26:07Hello, son?
26:08Mom, as long as we're dead.
26:10I forgive you.
26:11seperti it.
26:11I forgive you.
26:42But not in the face.
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