King Of The Hill Season 2 Episode 8 The Son That Got Away
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00:00Music
00:27I own my good with brotherhood, from sea to shining sea, and many more.
00:41Miss Super News and Phone, please, now let's all settle, Mr. Hill.
00:47We're going to sing My Bonnie.
00:49My Bonnie is a Laotian, my Connie lives next door to me, my Connie is a Laotian, and I have to go take a pee.
01:11What did I tell you two, Bobby, Connie?
01:19This is the third time this week.
01:22I've suffered through everything from old man liver to the smell-o-nose of Texas.
01:28It's time we involved your parents.
01:38Con, what are you doing here?
01:40Ah, they framed Con Jr. I'm here to grease some palms.
01:46You're here to read the gas meter, right? That's your job?
01:49No, I sell propane and propane accessories.
01:54Bobby got in trouble, too. I had to take off work.
01:58Why? Where's your wife? She's still a good mother today?
02:01Peggy is a substitute teacher.
02:06Bobby, what's the idea of acting up in class?
02:09Acting out, Mr. Hill. We call it acting out.
02:14I just sang a song parody, Dad. Like weird Al Yankovich.
02:19Bobby, Al Yankovich blew his brains out in the late 80s after people stopped buying his records.
02:27He's not worth getting into trouble over.
02:30Con Jr., that Bobby dragging you down like a chicken-fat anchor.
02:35Time out.
02:37Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It's all knitting together.
02:40You see, Bobby and Connie's disruptive behaviors stem from bad parental imaging at home.
02:47You're saying it's my fault I'm here?
02:50I won't play your blame game, Mr. Hill.
02:52Your son mocked a beautiful Scottish folk song.
02:56We owe it to ourselves to find out why.
03:00Yeah! He make a good point, Hank.
03:03He says you're a bad father.
03:06No, no, no. You're not bad dads.
03:08You have bad dad habits.
03:10Gentlemen, let's try an active listening exercise.
03:18Con, I want you to tell Hank something you like about him while Hank actively listens to the compliment.
03:27Bobby, Connie, watch and learn.
03:30It's your boy's fault we're here.
03:39He's bad crowd.
03:41You punish him.
03:42You don't worry about Bobby.
03:44You just punish Con Jr.
03:46She's the mastermind behind all this.
03:50Well, there will be punishment.
03:52Darn right there'll be punishment.
03:55Give me that.
03:56Ooh.
04:00Joseph says Bobby's in the doghouse.
04:12How you gonna punish him, Hank?
04:14Well, sir, that boy's gonna clean my rain gutters.
04:19Well, whatever works for you.
04:21I believe a child benefits more from the psychological approach.
04:26When I need to correct Joseph, I tell him he's adopted.
04:32Yeah.
04:33My dad used to punish me by telling me I was a girl.
04:38He used to make me wear dresses.
04:42Pretty, pretty dresses.
04:46Let's go, Bobby.
04:48It's debt-paying time.
04:49I wonder what old Con has in store for Con Jr.
05:01What the...
05:03Con, what are you doing?
05:05Mowing the lawn is a privilege, not a punishment.
05:08I'm putting fear of God into Con Jr.
05:12She learned what it like to be you.
05:13You know, it's that kind of permissive parenting that forfeited your country to the communists.
05:20Oh, baby birds.
05:38Where's your mommy?
05:40Ow!
05:41Stop that!
05:42Ow!
05:43I was being nice to them!
05:45Ow!
05:45Ow!
05:45Ow!
05:46Ow!
05:46Ow!
05:47Ow!
05:47Ow!
05:48Ow!
05:48Ow!
05:49Ow!
05:49Ow!
05:50Ow!
05:50Ow!
05:50That's a roof, not American bandstand!
05:54Oh, Hank, let him dance.
05:57He's happy.
05:58Ow!
05:59Ow!
05:59Ow!
06:00Ow!
06:00Ow!
06:01Ow!
06:01Ow!
06:02Ow!
06:02Ow!
06:03Ow!
06:03Ow!
06:04Ow!
06:05Ow!
06:05Ow!
06:06Ow!
06:06Ow!
06:07Ow!
06:07Ow!
06:08Ow!
06:08Ow!
06:09Ow!
06:10Ow!
06:11Ow!
06:12Ow!
06:13Ow!
06:14Ow!
06:15Ow!
06:16Ow!
06:17Ow!
06:18Ow!
06:19Ow!
06:20Ow!
06:29Ow!
06:30Ow —
06:31Ow!
06:31Ow!
06:32Ow!
06:34Ow!
06:35Ow!
06:36Ow!
06:50Why are you stopping?
06:53We gotta get Joseph.
06:55I don't like Joseph.
06:57He threw a dodgeball at me once.
06:59Well, I'm sure he had a good reason.
07:06Hey, Bobby, you wanna do something?
07:09Bobby already has plans with me.
07:11Yeah, wanna come?
07:12Sure.
07:15So what do you guys wanna do?
07:17Well, we could go press the crosswalk buttons and run away.
07:23Cool.
07:24Bobby and I don't like to do that.
07:26Well, Bobby and me do.
07:29We could go to the library and talk.
07:31Yeah!
07:32Yeah.
07:33Why don't we just go back to school and wait for tomorrow?
07:37Hey, hey, come on, guys.
07:40Don't make this a contest for my friendship.
07:42Now, I say we go to Electric Town and watch TV.
07:50Oh, we could go to the caves.
07:57Oh, come on, guys.
07:59It'll be like sneaking into an R movie.
08:02You've been to an R movie?
08:05Yeah, but the only person naked was Harvey Cartel.
08:10We should go for it.
08:11The caves are probably dark.
08:17Let's get butane lighters.
08:19My dad says butane's a bastard gas.
08:23I'm getting scented candles.
08:26This one smells like leather pants.
08:30I got tube chips and spray cheese.
08:34They keep...
08:34I got glow wands
08:37and pantyhose for lady.
08:40What the hell are you doing?
08:48That an old tan, man.
08:50Oh, we just cleaned your gutters for you.
08:53But that was Bobby's punishment.
08:56Oh, maybe you'd call it punishment.
08:58I call it punishment.
09:00Where is Bobby?
09:02Hey!
09:03Con Junior!
09:05Where are you?
09:05Now it's starting to make some sense.
09:13She did it again, Con.
09:15Your little siren led my boy astray.
09:18Your skinhead gone too?
09:20Boy, I tell you what.
09:21When I do find those kids,
09:23they're gonna be in real trouble now.
09:25Have you seen Joseph?
09:27He's not back with my pick-six numbers
09:30and I'm starting to worry.
09:32I can't win it if I'm not in it.
09:45Yeah, the entrance is in the weeds somewhere.
09:55Hey, you shouldn't go in there.
10:10Yeah, right.
10:11Just play with your toy, Randy.
10:14Later, loser.
10:17Oh, wait.
10:19Maybe Randy's right.
10:21Bobby, if you're scared,
10:23you can stay out here.
10:24You can pretend it's headquarters.
10:29Hey, you wanna watch me fly my plane?
10:33Wait for me.
10:34You'll be sorry.
10:36You'll be...
10:37Ow!
10:42First we look for Con Junior
10:44at Contemporary Art Museum.
10:47Oh, sorry.
10:49Arlen doesn't have one.
10:51Let's get one thing straight.
10:53You may be driving,
10:55but I'm leading this posse
10:56and if it's forced,
10:57I will commandeer the vehicle.
11:02What?
11:02Do you?
11:03Do you see them?
11:04Do you see them?
11:07Please take a pedal from Meadow.
11:09They're probably at the mall.
11:11Oh, my heart is racing here, men.
11:13And when my heart races,
11:14my Buick follows.
11:15Calm down for Peggy here.
11:18Look at my hand.
11:19Still has a Monet water lily.
11:21Well, being calm comes natural
11:23to you Buddhists.
11:24So what if Connie's run away, huh?
11:26She'll just come back
11:27as a grasshopper or a seahorse.
11:29I'm so sorry, men.
11:34I'm just a little on the edge.
11:43Hey, look at this.
11:46The Boneyard.
11:49It's written in ancient English.
11:51What's the Boneyard?
11:53I can't remember.
11:55It's either the place
11:57where old people go to die
11:59or young people go to make out.
12:03Well, what if you're wrong
12:05and it's where young people go to die
12:07and old people go to make out?
12:11I told you,
12:12Con Jr. not there.
12:16Ah-ha!
12:17Con Jr. go there!
12:19No American child
12:21would run away
12:22to a sheet music store.
12:24They do
12:25if they want to hide
12:26from Hillbilly Parent.
12:28Last place you look,
12:30Hillbilly.
12:43Well, I thought you and Min
12:45were looking for Bobby and Connie.
12:47Well, Min decided
12:48she'd rather look for them
12:49in a taxi.
12:50Oh, I am such a jumble.
12:53Aunt Peggy,
12:54why don't you just sit down
12:55with the TV for a minute
12:56and clear your head?
12:58Okay.
12:59Wait for just a moment.
13:00Guess what?
13:01Monsignor Martinez
13:03ran to the sports car
13:05in the name of those
13:06little babies.
13:08Vaya,
13:09con Dios.
13:10I don't think I can make it.
13:23Yes, you can, Bobby.
13:25Grab onto my shirt.
13:27Hey, we did it.
13:37We're in the boneyard.
13:41Who's Frampton?
13:57Who's Frampton?
13:59Oh, playboy.
14:02Great.
14:03I haven't seen this one.
14:05I hope there's an article
14:07by Norman Mailer.
14:09Oh, oh, check this out.
14:11Our unabashed dictionary
14:13defines heavy petting
14:15as when things get
14:17out of control
14:18at a Weight Watchers meeting.
14:20He doesn't get it.
14:27I'm starting to get things.
14:35I thought the kids
14:37would be here
14:38sure as the world.
14:40I'll be dipped.
14:42Hey, Randy,
14:43have you seen Bobby
14:44and Joseph
14:45and that con Junior?
14:47Maybe, maybe not.
14:49What are you gonna do?
14:50We're gonna tan their hides.
14:53They're in the caves.
14:54I did the right thing.
14:55I told them not to go.
14:56I did their right thing.
14:58You heard him, Hank.
14:59We have no legal responsibility.
15:01The caves?
15:02Oh, my God.
15:06Wait, what's the problem?
15:08That's good news, right?
15:09Now we know where they are.
15:11No con.
15:13Heap bad news.
15:15The caves are where
15:16Arlen teenagers go to make
15:18Well, whoopee.
15:24Check it out.
15:26It must have fallen off
15:27some woman.
15:29Here, Connie,
15:30you can use this.
15:32Thanks.
15:35Hey, Connie, Connie.
15:37I found you this.
15:40Skull.
15:41Yuck.
15:42And I wrote you a song.
15:45I'm a school man.
15:48Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo.
15:50Yeah, that's great.
15:54Dang.
15:56Oh, that was our last candle.
16:00I'm scared.
16:02Me too.
16:04Me three.
16:05Wait.
16:06We've got glow-ons.
16:21Those are their bikes.
16:23They're inside, all right.
16:24Oh, God.
16:30I can't see.
16:31I can't see.
16:33We're all gonna die.
16:36Dale, you have your sunglasses on.
16:41Gotcha.
16:41Tell you what, Dale.
16:44Why don't you go tell
16:45Peggy and men
16:46we're here
16:46so they don't worry.
16:51I noticed
16:52my wife's name
16:53was not among
16:54those mentioned.
16:55Am I to assume
16:56Nancy should
16:57continue
16:58worrying?
17:00Ah, you go now!
17:04Mayday!
17:05Mayday!
17:06Mayday!
17:08Mayday!
17:09Mayday!
17:12The kids
17:13are in the caves.
17:15Oh, my goodness.
17:16That is where
17:17half of Arlen's
17:18unplanned pregnancies
17:19begin.
17:21Hank and Con
17:22have gone in
17:23to pry them apart.
17:25Dear Lord,
17:26let them find
17:26those kids
17:27before I am
17:28in-laws with men.
17:32Maybe we should
17:33get back now.
17:34Yeah,
17:35I guess.
17:37No, it's this way.
17:40Isn't it?
17:41No, we came
17:42in that way.
17:45I think.
17:47Oh, no.
17:49Yeah,
17:50we're lost.
18:00Take me to
18:01Boneyard!
18:02Hold on a second.
18:04I don't remember
18:04which way to go.
18:06It's been a while.
18:07I need to get
18:08my bearings here.
18:10Well, you get
18:10your bearings?
18:12My child
18:13bearing your
18:14child's child!
18:15Oh.
18:17Uh,
18:17I think
18:18it's this way.
18:19I can't stop.
18:28It's out of my
18:29control.
18:30Ah!
18:31When you go,
18:32we're out of food.
18:34I'm sorry.
18:36When I'm upset,
18:37I get hungry.
18:39We're all upset,
18:40Bobby.
18:41But,
18:42you're upset
18:43together,
18:44and I'm upset
18:45all by myself.
18:47I see things
18:48clearly now.
18:50I'm gonna grow up
18:51without anyone
18:52to love
18:53and die friendless
18:54and alone
18:55like weird
18:56Al Yankovich.
18:58I won't stand
18:59in your way.
19:00When the time
19:01comes,
19:02I want you
19:03to eat me.
19:05You'd do that
19:06for us?
19:07Of course
19:08I would.
19:09You're my best
19:10friends.
19:11My body
19:12is my gift
19:13to you.
19:14But,
19:15it wouldn't
19:16have to be
19:17if you'd left
19:18us some
19:18of those chips.
19:20Oh,
19:20Bobby,
19:21that is so
19:22kind
19:23and,
19:24and brave.
19:27I'm doing it
19:28for your children,
19:30too.
19:31We have
19:31to think
19:32of them.
19:34Oh,
19:34I'm starting
19:35to worry.
19:36Hank and Con
19:37should have
19:37found them
19:38by now.
19:39Don't worry,
19:40Nancy.
19:40I'm sure
19:41they're safe
19:42and not
19:43exploring
19:44each other's
19:46bodies.
19:47Even if
19:47they are,
19:48there's nothing
19:49that lovers
19:50do that
19:50could possibly
19:51take this
19:52long.
19:53Am I
19:54right?
19:55Yes,
19:56if you only
19:56consider your
19:57own needs.
19:58Oh,
19:59gosh.
19:59I think
20:01I need
20:01a beer.
20:02Uh,
20:03honey,
20:03you want
20:04a beer?
20:05Yes.
20:06Yes.
20:10How did
20:11he know
20:12I wanted
20:12a beer?
20:17Too narrow.
20:18Must go
20:19back.
20:19We've
20:20got to
20:20go forward.
20:21Come on,
20:22shove me,
20:23dammit.
20:23now I
20:30stick it
20:31with a beer.
20:33This is the
20:33worst birthday
20:34I ever
20:35had.
20:37I didn't
20:37know it was
20:38your birthday.
20:39Yeah,
20:40I'm
20:4041.
20:46You know,
20:47I think
20:47we're lost.
20:49Oh,
20:49you think
20:50so,
20:50huh?
20:51Dale
20:51will bring
20:52the fire
20:52department.
20:53They'll
20:53find us.
20:54That's
20:55great.
20:56All hopes
20:57for survival
20:59pinned on
20:59Dale
21:00Gribble.
21:01I want to
21:02die like
21:02an English
21:03patient
21:04girlfriend.
21:05Long,
21:06painful,
21:06boring
21:07death.
21:08Well,
21:09if we're
21:09lost,
21:10the kids
21:10are probably
21:11lost,
21:11too.
21:12You make
21:12me nervous
21:13at
21:13Joseph
21:13with
21:14Con
21:14Junior.
21:15His
21:16whole
21:16family
21:16like
21:17a
21:17Tennessee
21:17Williams
21:18play.
21:19Well,
21:20Joseph's
21:20a good
21:21boy.
21:22Say,
21:22why aren't
21:23you nervous
21:23about my
21:24Bobby?
21:25Until
21:26puberty,
21:27he do
21:27no worse
21:28than
21:28Hickey.
21:29Besides,
21:29I know
21:30he a
21:30good
21:30boy.
21:31I
21:32appreciate
21:33that,
21:33Con,
21:34but I
21:35tell you
21:35what,
21:35many a
21:36good
21:36boy's
21:37gone
21:37bad
21:37in
21:38the
21:38boneyard.
21:39I
21:39shouldn't
21:40be
21:40telling
21:40you
21:40this,
21:41but it's
21:42where a
21:42lot
21:43of
21:43us
21:43got
21:43to
21:43second
21:44base
21:44for
21:45the
21:45first
21:45time.
21:46What
21:46you
21:46call
21:47second
21:47base?
21:50Well,
21:51where I
21:52come
21:52from,
21:53it
21:53means,
21:57well,
21:59meaning
22:02that,
22:03you see,
22:04when two
22:04people are
22:05attracted
22:05to each
22:06other,
22:07well,
22:08your
22:09hand...
22:10Don't
22:10explain
22:10a home
22:11run.
22:11You
22:11have a
22:12heart
22:12attack.
22:13In
22:13Laos
22:13we
22:14call
22:14it
22:14Poisson
22:15Pate.
22:16Poisson
22:17Pate.
22:18I
22:19like it.
22:20It
22:20sounds
22:21clean.
22:22We
22:22need
22:23more
22:23good
22:23euphemisms
22:24like
22:24that
22:25in
22:25this
22:25country.
22:26So
22:26tell
22:27me,
22:27where'd
22:29you
22:29hit
22:29your
22:29first
22:30Poisson
22:31Pate?
22:32Langapur
22:33Bank
22:33City.
22:34Wild
22:34town,
22:35man.
22:36Spring
22:36Break,
22:37and two
22:37out of
22:37three
22:37guys
22:38are
22:38monks.
22:39Try
22:40and not
22:40get
22:42here.
22:52Hey,
22:53Bobby,
22:54that
22:54sounds like
22:55your dad.
22:56And
22:56that
22:57sounds like
22:57your dad,
22:58Connie.
23:00It
23:01can't be.
23:02They're not
23:02yelling at
23:03each other.
23:04Bobby!
23:19Con
23:20Junior!
23:26Hello,
23:27Joseph.
23:28Hey,
23:28Mr.
23:29here.
23:30Well,
23:30well.
23:31Now
23:31we're
23:31all
23:32together.
23:32Sit
23:33back
23:33and
23:33relax.
23:34Wait
23:34for
23:35Dale
23:35Gribble
23:35to
23:36save
23:36us.
23:49Son,
23:50stop
23:50that.
23:51This
23:51is a
23:51desperate
23:52situation.
23:54Besides,
23:54it's littering.
23:55It's
23:56already
23:56littered,
23:57dad.
23:58Somebody
23:58else
23:59dropped
23:59it
23:59before
24:00us.
24:01From
24:01up
24:02there.
24:03Hey,
24:03there
24:03is
24:04a
24:04hole
24:04up
24:04there.
24:05Look.
24:06That
24:06could be
24:07our
24:07way
24:07out.
24:09Hey,
24:10hold your
24:10fire up
24:11there.
24:12Hey,
24:12man,
24:13you're
24:13gonna do
24:13like
24:14that
24:14gonna tell
24:14you
24:15that
24:15old
24:15Hank
24:15do
24:15down
24:16in
24:16the
24:16boneyard.
24:17Man,
24:17you're
24:17gonna get
24:17down
24:18there
24:18like
24:18don't
24:19bond
24:19around
24:19and
24:20he
24:20go
24:20wrong
24:20with
24:21you,
24:21man.
24:21Boomhauer,
24:23I can't
24:23understand
24:24a word
24:25you're
24:25saying.
24:26Must
24:27be
24:27the
24:27echo.
24:28Just
24:28get
24:28the
24:28fire
24:29department
24:29to
24:29lower
24:30a
24:30rope.
24:31Act
24:32in
24:32for
24:32to
24:32go
24:33over
24:33that
24:34rope.
24:39Oh,
24:40my
24:40little
24:40golden
24:41child.
24:44Oh.
24:51Okay,
24:52Hank,
24:52put
24:52Bobby's
24:53bike
24:53in
24:53the
24:53trunk
24:54and
24:54buckle
24:54Bobby
24:55into
24:55the
24:55center
24:55of
24:55the
24:56back
24:56seat
24:56facing
24:57us
24:57so
24:57we
24:57both
24:57can
24:58watch
24:58him.
24:58Now,
24:59Peggy,
25:00he's
25:00not a
25:00baby
25:01anymore.
25:01He's
25:02a
25:02preteen.
25:03He
25:03and
25:04Joseph
25:04rode
25:04their
25:05bikes
25:05here.
25:05They
25:05can
25:06ride
25:06him
25:06home.
25:07Thanks,
25:08Dad.
25:11Connie,
25:12you need
25:12a lift?
25:13Yeah,
25:14Connie,
25:14you
25:14want
25:15a lift?
25:18Con
25:18Junior,
25:19you
25:19come
25:20with
25:20me.
25:20We
25:21go
25:21get
25:21ice
25:22cream
25:22and
25:23tetanus
25:23shop.
25:27I
25:27think
25:28Connie
25:28likes
25:29you.
25:30Nah,
25:30she
25:32likes
25:32you.
25:34The
25:34minute
25:34you
25:35said
25:35we
25:35could
25:35eat
25:35you,
25:36she
25:36was
25:37yours.
25:38Well,
25:38maybe
25:39she
25:39likes
25:39both
25:40of
25:40us.
25:41Yeah,
25:42I'm
25:43going to
25:43have
25:43trouble
25:43choosing
25:44between
25:44guys
25:45sometimes.
25:46They
25:47like
25:47to
25:47have
25:47their
25:47cake
25:48and
25:48eat
25:49it
25:49too.
25:50I
25:50hear
25:51you.
25:52Hey,
25:53Joseph.
25:53Yeah?
25:54Um,
25:55what were
25:55you
25:56eating
25:56under
25:56there?
25:57Under
25:58where?
26:00Ooh,
26:00you
26:01were
26:01eating
26:02underwear?
26:03Shut
26:04up.
26:04Boxers
26:05or
26:05briefs?
26:06You
26:07are
26:07such
26:08a
26:08goop.
26:11Boxers
26:11or
26:12briefs?
26:13?
26:13If you
26:14have
26:14to
26:15ask
26:16a
26:16wife
26:17to
26:18get
26:20out of
26:22way
26:22to
26:22breathe,
26:22breathe,
26:24breathe,
26:31breathe,
26:32breathe!
26:32Bubble,
26:32come down,
26:33and
26:33get
26:34up.
26:34Need
26:35breathe,
26:35breathe,
26:35heart.
26:35Let's
26:36get
26:36to
26:36breathe.
26:36I
26:37could
26:37breathe.
26:37I
26:38would
26:38them
26:39breathe,
26:39I
26:40could
26:40have
26:41Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.