- 5/9/2025
King Of The Hill Season 3 Episode 6 Peggy Pageant Fever
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00:00For more information, visit www.fema.org
00:29Here you go, Shug.
00:43Two Shugs, right?
00:44Uh-huh.
00:46They asked me to be the celebrity judge at the Mrs. Heimlich County beauty pageant next week.
00:53Mrs.?
00:54Wait, do any women mature enough to have a family really go in for that nonsense?
00:58That nonsense, Shug, changed my life.
01:02It's what got me into television and into hundreds of homes every night as a weather analyst.
01:07And you'd be surprised at the top-notch prizes at the Mrs. Heimlich.
01:12Bath beads?
01:13Try years lease on a brand new Chevy Silverada LTK 1500 pickup truck with a supercabin 270 horsepower 5.3 liter Vortec V8.
01:25I want that truck.
01:28Hank, do you think I could win the Mrs. Heimlich pageant if I entered?
01:35You see, Peggy, that's what you call a loaded question.
01:39No matter how I answer, there's a bullet in every chamber designed to blow my brains out.
01:46Hank, do you think I can win?
01:49Well, uh, I think you're beautiful and smart and you don't need to enter some pageant to prove it.
02:01Huh.
02:02You don't think I can win, do you?
02:04I didn't say...
02:06I...
02:06I just don't think you're the pageant type.
02:11Really?
02:11Well, let's see.
02:13All you have to be is married and over 23.
02:17Well, I've got that covered.
02:19So, how would we rate me?
02:21Uh, I would say face, A minus.
02:26Body, B plus.
02:29Personality, A plus.
02:31And brains, A plus.
02:34So, with my smarts and looks and muchos talentos, well, I think I have a huge edge over these bimbos, huh, Hank?
02:42I'm gonna enter.
02:44The grand prize is a truck.
02:46I have a truck.
02:48But I don't.
02:49You have a car.
02:51Hank, a car is fine, but a truck is a force.
02:56True.
02:56I can't believe I'm going to be an actual beauty pageant stylist.
03:05Oh, I already have some ideas for styling you.
03:10I have always wondered what would happen if you let your hair dry naturally.
03:15Okay, let's not go crazy, Luann.
03:18Remember, we're working together to make the best Peggy Hill possible.
03:23Personally, I think a little lipstick and a pair of nice earrings will win that truck.
03:30That's a good-looking truck, Hank.
03:33Yeah, man.
03:33We're talking about them damn old 207 horsepower, man.
03:36Old skid plate and the Z71 off-road suspension, man.
03:39Old dang old K5, man.
03:42Dang.
03:44Yeah.
03:45All Peggy's got to do to get that truck is to win the Mrs. Heimlich County pageant.
03:50Uh, y-yup.
03:58Yep.
04:00That's right, yep.
04:01Peggy's gonna win.
04:03She's every man's fantasy.
04:06Uh, okay, Bill.
04:07I'll take over from here.
04:09I mean, she's got an A-plus brain and an A-minus body,
04:13but if she wears one of them push-up brassieres...
04:16Bill!
04:17She'll have a body that just won't quit.
04:19You like that truck, don't you?
04:26Would you like to take it for a test drive?
04:28Well, I would not say no.
04:34Now, here's something a pretty lady like yourself will appreciate.
04:38A driver's side vanity mirror.
04:41Mmm, I do look good in this truck.
04:44So, what's it gonna take for you to buy this truck today?
04:50Oh, I'm not planning on buying it.
04:52I'm planning on winning it in a beauty contest.
04:55Test drive's over.
04:56Excuse me, y'all.
05:08Before we get started, if there is anybody here not connected to the pageant,
05:14could you please leave now?
05:16I'd like to welcome you all to the Mrs. Heimlich County Beauty Pageant.
05:32In a couple of minutes, you'll get the chance to meet your fellow contestants,
05:36but before you do, the reigning Mrs. Heimlich, Kathy Shears, would like to say a few words.
05:44What a long, strange, beautiful trip it's been.
05:55And next week, I will add the word sad to that list
05:59because I will be handing over this crown to the new Mrs. Heimlich County.
06:04Peggy Hill.
06:09Well, hello.
06:10I'm Peggy Hill.
06:12Oh, hi.
06:13I'm Helen Pell.
06:15So, what does Peggy Hill do when she's not competing in a beauty pageant?
06:20Well, I'm a substitute teacher at Tom Landry Middle School.
06:24Oh, really?
06:26I teach sciences full-time over at the high school.
06:29What do you teach?
06:31Espanol.
06:32I had my second honeymoon in Spain.
06:35Have you ever gone?
06:36No, but it's because I choose not to.
06:39You should go.
06:40You'll love it.
06:41I practically lived there for a couple of months after I graduated from college.
06:47That's where I met my husband, the engineer.
06:51The kind that drives a train?
06:52Oh, I'm going to have to look out for you.
06:58You're very congenial.
07:02Oh, really?
07:03You know that there are three other contestants who teach as well.
07:07Yes, yes, I know.
07:08I've met them already.
07:10And I suppose you're, what, a biochemist or something?
07:13Oh, no, no, no.
07:15I'm a stay-at-home mother.
07:17But I have seven kids, so that's a full-time job in and of itself.
07:22Do you have any children?
07:24Eight.
07:26No, I only have one.
07:27Well, right now I'm majoring in philosophy and classical music.
07:34Oh, how nice for you.
07:36Well, that'll get you a job in a factory when you get out of college.
07:38That's what my mom says, too.
07:44You do know you have to be 23 years or older to be in this pageant.
07:49I am 23.
07:52Do you have any children?
07:54No, I'm concentrating on my...
07:56Oh, well, I have one.
07:58Anyway, nice meeting you.
08:00Good luck in the pageant.
08:01Isn't this excitement, Peggy?
08:20Everyone's so nice.
08:22Mrs. Hanley County let me try on her crown and sash.
08:27Did you know she could play the lap steel guitar?
08:29And she only has 9% body fat and it's all in her breasts.
08:54Little Bobby Hill, you rascal, you.
08:58Mm, that's when you used to put your food everywhere but in your mouth.
09:03I was young.
09:04I didn't know any better.
09:06Oh, I haven't seen this photo in such a long time.
09:10Who's that kissing dad?
09:12Well, that's me, honey.
09:14Really?
09:15You were beautiful.
09:17Were.
09:18Oh, Bobby, I still am.
09:22Okay.
09:22Bobby, don't you see, when you look at me now, you can't see somebody who's beautiful.
09:28You just see a mother.
09:30I don't know.
09:31I think Connie's mom is beautiful.
09:34And Mrs. Grandma.
09:35All right, all right.
09:37Hey, there's me standing next to the world's largest roadrunner.
09:41Are you still having those nightmares where he pecks out your eyes?
09:44I forgot about those.
09:47Good.
10:02Peggy, are you all right?
10:05Hank, I can't sleep.
10:06Boy, Cagney and Lacey certainly have aged horribly.
10:16Hank, do you think I'll turn into one of those women you see at the Meg Lomard who wears white stretched pants and doesn't tuck in her shirt anymore?
10:26Not for many, many years.
10:29Oh, so you thought about this.
10:31Oh.
10:33Oh, no, not my eyes.
10:37I thought he stopped having those nightmares.
10:43Come on in, ladies.
10:45Take a load off.
10:46Thanks.
10:47Well, I don't believe I've had the pleasure of meeting this little filly before.
10:52Well, yes, yes, you have.
10:55Your daughter?
10:56No, she's my niece, Luanne.
10:59Oh, well, there you go, darling.
11:02Oh, thank you.
11:05Now, what can old Buck Strickland do for you?
11:09You said you had some kind of business proposition, did you?
11:12Mr. Strickland, a beauty pageant can be a good promotional opportunity for both the beauty contestant and for the business who sponsors the company.
11:23I say no more, I'll do it.
11:24How much do you need?
11:26Well, there's the new tennis outfit, makeup, new dress, hair.
11:32Uh, we figured around $2,000.
11:37Mm-hmm.
11:38Debbie?
11:39Drop me up a company check for $2,000.
11:42Pay the way, Buck!
11:43Oh, thank you, Mr. Strickland.
11:46I guarantee you that I will win that Mrs. Heimlich pageant.
11:50I will not let you down as my sponsor.
11:52Yeah.
11:53Mm.
11:55Um.
11:56What?
11:57Mrs?
11:58What the hell is she doing here?
12:00She is my stylist.
12:01And like yourself, a big part of Team Peggy Hill.
12:05Debbie!
12:06Did you finish writing up that check?
12:07Yes, Buck!
12:08Oh, shh!
12:10Oh.
12:11Oh.
12:31Terrific, girls.
12:32Mrs. Hill, that was awful.
12:34We're going to go again.
12:36And this time, I want Mrs. Hill to sit this one out and watch me.
12:40Raymond, hold my cane.
12:46Why, Nancy, in the words of Billy Crystal, you look wonderful.
12:51Thanks, Shug.
12:53Oh, by the way, I was so excited to hear that you entered the pageant.
12:56Really?
12:57Oh, thank you.
12:59Well, maybe this year you and I can shake things up a little bit at the missus.
13:04Shake things up how?
13:06Well, you know, every year they pick the same type of woman to win.
13:10Skinny, big hair, bleach blonde.
13:13You mean women like me.
13:15Oh, your hair is not bleached, is it?
13:20What type of woman do you think should win the pageant, Peggy?
13:23Well, I'm not a judge, but, well, a married woman, of course.
13:27Not just a wife, but a partner.
13:29Definitely a woman who is distinguished by her brain size, not her bra size.
13:36Women like you.
13:38Well, you said it, I didn't.
13:40But, yes.
13:41I think women like you shouldn't be in a pageant if you're not prepared to be judged by women like me.
13:50We could have shut things up, you and me!
13:53Oh, don't you look smart.
14:07Luann, I think I want to put some highlights in my hair.
14:14Oh.
14:15You don't think that's a good idea?
14:17No, it's a good idea.
14:19It's just that Highlights was a two-part class, and I missed both parts.
14:33Hey, bozo!
14:35Where your clown car, Peggy here?
14:39Hey, you look like the Ronald McDonald, you bozo, Peggy here.
14:47Gee, she's so stuck up.
14:49Not even say hello.
14:53You think your missus will like it?
14:55Yes, sir.
14:56Well, I hope so.
14:58This is the most I've spent on a woman without getting anything in return, if you know what I mean.
15:05Uh, don't worry about it, Buck.
15:08You've backed a winner.
15:10She could have smiled, at least.
15:13She is smiling.
15:15If I order by eight o'clock tonight, I can have my stretch pants by tomorrow at noon.
15:23I could be in them by one.
15:26Uh, Peggy, why don't you just wait a week and we can drive over to the Megalo Mart and get them in your new truck, huh?
15:33Yeah, right.
15:35My new truck.
15:36Stop worrying.
15:41You've got those fancy stripes in your hair.
15:45Plus, your best friend Nancy's a judge.
15:48Well, Nancy and I are not talking right now.
15:51Oh.
15:53Well, then we just won't let her ride in our new truck, will we?
15:58Heh, heh, heh, heh.
15:59Ha, ha.
16:02Mm-hmm.
16:04Mm-hmm.
16:06Ah.
16:08Okay.
16:10Uh, hey, Dale.
16:11Peggy baked some extra brownies and we thought, you know who might enjoy these?
16:16The Gribbles.
16:17So here you go.
16:19Mm.
16:19Hmm.
16:20Okay.
16:22Oh, and, uh, I'm done using my ratchet set if you want to borrow it.
16:27You mean if I want to keep it?
16:30Borrow it, Dale.
16:32Just a little reminder, Hank, my wife is the judge of your wife's beauty pageant.
16:39Keep it?
16:40Borrow it or I'll step over this hedge and kick your ass.
16:44Keep it.
16:45Ah!
16:46Ah!
16:49Oh, hi.
16:52Hello.
16:53Excuse me, but I think you've made a mistake.
16:57You're teasing the wrong contestant's hair.
17:02It's okay.
17:03It happened to me yesterday.
17:04Luann, honey, sit down for a second, please.
17:08Now, you are an excellent, excellent amateur stylist, but this is a professional beauty pageant.
17:19No, it's an amateur beauty pageant, Aunt Peggy.
17:23See, Luann, amateur attitude, amateur performance.
17:27That's why I've hired a professional.
17:30This is Marcy Schuett, stylist to three pageant winners.
17:36Oh, my God.
17:39You're firing me as your stylist.
17:42No, you will still be a very important part of Team Peggy Hill, but in a much, much smaller capacity.
17:50Oh, my God.
17:52Oh, my God.
17:54See?
17:55That's the amateur attitude I was talking about earlier.
17:58All right, all right.
18:00Let me get a look at you.
18:03Okay, now turn around.
18:05Okay.
18:05Can you save this?
18:13This will be my greatest challenge yet.
18:19And the winner of the Mrs. Homlick County beauty pageant, Peggy Hill.
18:29So, what do you think?
18:35Whoa, Mom.
18:44You look like you could star in a headache commercial.
18:48Lady Bird?
18:48Lady Bird!
18:50Stop barking.
18:51It's me.
18:52It's Peggy.
18:53Mike, you haven't said anything.
18:56Uh, you look...
18:59Bobby, will you please take Lady Bird outside?
19:03Oh, my God.
19:05Gee, look at you.
19:10Yeah, I'd kiss you, but it'd feel like I was cheating on you with another woman if I did.
19:18Well, now's your chance to cheat on me, Hank.
19:22I promise I won't tell Peggy.
19:27Uh, there.
19:30Boy, look at me.
19:32I'm having an affair.
19:35You've been taking care of business every day.
19:48Boy, look at nothing all day.
19:51Then you've been taking care of business every day.
19:56Taking care of business in every way.
20:00Taking care of business
20:03It's alright
20:04Taking care of business
20:07Working overtime
20:09Workout
20:10You were so right about the eyeliner
20:26Oh, God, what was I thinking?
20:28Dang, I wish we had a picture
20:30Are you looking this good for the flyer?
20:32Spelt milk, spelt milk
20:33Did you get the brownies I baked for you
20:41As a friend, Nancy?
20:43Yes, I did, Mrs. Hill
20:44Shall we proceed?
20:46We're running a little behind schedule
20:48It says here in your application
20:51That you speak Spanish
20:53Mm-hmm
20:54Si, absolutamente
20:56En la escuela intermedia de Tom Landry
21:00Soy maestra substituta de Espanol
21:03Peggy Hill
21:04La revolución digital definitivamente ha cambiado nuestras vidas
21:08Como esposa y una madre
21:11¿Cómo planeé viajar al Expreso de Información
21:14Entre el próximo milenio?
21:19¿S�
21:23¿SÃ, amigo?
21:25Luann, I just spent two hours picking one of Peggy's shoes out of that disposal
21:52I'm beginning to think it wasn't an accident
21:55Uh, why aren't you at the pageant?
21:59Peggy went with Buck Strickland
22:01I'm going a little later
22:02Did she fire you too?
22:06Because, you know, she fired me
22:08Now, I heard you were still an important part of Team Peggy Hill
22:12I know you're feeling a little miffed
22:18But you have to understand
22:20Your aunt has always had a lot of confidence about her looks
22:23Which is good
22:24But now she's got herself in kind of a bind
22:28She's either got to admit to herself
22:30She can't win the truck and quit
22:33Or stay in the pageant and, well, probably lose
22:38Either way, it's going to hurt
22:40Well, I guess I should feel bad for her
22:45But I don't
22:48Well, this won't work
22:56I cannot go out there like this
22:58Is there something wrong?
23:00Yes
23:01All of a sudden, my butt looks like it's dragging on the floor
23:05Will you fix it? Fix it!
23:07Hmm
23:07Do you have any duct tape, Mrs. Hill?
23:10I used it all on my feet!
23:12Mr. Strickland!
23:14Yeah?
23:15We need duct tape
23:16Silver or gray?
23:17Silver
23:18All purpose or premium grade
23:20Oh, what the hell?
23:22I'm already in this for two grand
23:23What's another 90 cents?
23:27Titor?
23:29Come on!
23:32Ladies, to the stage!
23:34Come on now, let's go, y'all!
23:35Well, where's my half jacket?
23:36I need my half jacket
23:39That's what makes this an ensemble
23:42The half jacket
23:43Oh, come on, Peggy
24:01You know how to put on a jacket
24:03Pageant contestants across the street
24:10Come on, girls, hurry
24:12Watch your step
24:14Okay
24:16No!
24:22Well, I guess this wasn't premium
24:24You cheap bastard
24:25Helen
24:31By any chance
24:33Do you have any spare tape?
24:35My ass has come loose
24:37I'm sure it's just the humidity
24:39Peggy
24:40I've got to go inside
24:41I also think I should tell you
24:44That you forgot to put on your shoes
24:47Oh, no, no, no
24:54This is not good
24:57Like the truck?
25:12Hank
25:14What are you doing?
25:17Well, I figured since you were only doing this for the truck
25:21I'd save you the trouble
25:23Honey, you bought us a new truck?
25:26No, I painted my old one
25:29Oh
25:30Well, she's beautiful
25:34Yeah, but she was before
25:38Are those new shoes?
25:49Uh, cause I like them
25:51I'm glad you're letting me dye your hair back to its normal color
26:21Correct, Peggy
26:22Well, even if you don't, Luanne
26:24That is okay, too
26:25Okay, here it goes
26:29Oh, no
26:32Oh, don't you worry, Luanne
26:34We will get this right soon enough, huh?
26:36La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
26:56Well, let's go
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