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00:30Oh, Jesus.
00:38Yes, you've been called.
00:41What sort of time do you call this?
00:43What are you talking about? It's only midnight.
00:45Where were you? Quickly. No lies.
00:47I was out with some friends.
00:48Friends? Out? With? Some?
00:51Let me smell your breath.
00:53I thought so. Chips? Where are my chips?
00:57Look at your clothes. They're all rumpled.
00:59What have you been doing?
01:00Is that lipstick on your beard?
01:02Here I am, worrying myself away into a stick in the dark
01:05and you're scoffing chips from some tart's lap.
01:09Where's my tart? I want chips and tart.
01:12Get up them stairs.
01:13Look, you don't own me. You're not the king of me.
01:15I can go out with friends if I want.
01:17Now, look here.
01:18Maybe all those other boys that work on bushels do what they want,
01:20but you're working under my roof. You'll abide by my rules.
01:23This isn't Waterstones.
01:24I wish I'd never been born.
01:37Manny!
01:38Manny, stop singing in the bath.
01:40I'm not in the bath. I'm on the toilet.
01:41Who sings on the toilet?
01:45Stop singing on the toilet, then!
01:51You know, I'm probably getting a lot of secondary smoke from you.
01:55Don't worry about it. Get me a drink sometime.
01:57Are there any customers in?
02:02No.
02:12Hello?
02:14What?
02:15Yes, hang on.
02:17Friend of yours, some woman.
02:18Oh, right.
02:19Oh?
02:19Oh, hiya!
02:22No!
02:22He didn't!
02:23He didn't!
02:24Oh, no!
02:26Well, he was definitely looking at you.
02:27He was!
02:28He was definitely looking at you.
02:29Oh, yes.
02:30No!
02:30Ha-ha-ha!
02:32Woo-hoo!
02:34Who is this?
02:36What age are you?
02:38Tarty, is there something wrong with you?
02:40He can't talk now.
02:41He has to do his chores.
02:45Can't believe you did that.
02:46You're so rude.
02:49Manny!
02:50Oh, hi.
02:51What's the...
02:51I need you.
02:52I need Manny.
02:53Manny!
02:53Look, look, look.
02:55Yeah?
02:56Yeah?
02:57Penelope Learmouth Tonk.
02:59Yeah.
03:00At home, in her graceful mansion.
03:02Hey, hey, why can't we talk about something we're all interested in?
03:12Hey, hey, hey, you know what?
03:14Last week, right?
03:15Remember when I thought I had piles?
03:19It wasn't.
03:19It was just irritable bowel syndrome, yeah.
03:21Back to the magazine.
03:26Yeah.
03:26That's it.
03:27Come on, out, out.
03:28A lot of money has lots to do.
03:29Thank you, Fran.
03:29Bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye.
03:30It's really important.
03:32Right, you.
03:32Imperial Leather.
03:33Back to work.
03:38Right, you.
03:39Hawkwind.
03:40Back to work.
03:40There's nothing to do.
03:43There's plenty to do.
03:47Splishy-splashy.
03:48Come on.
03:48What'd you do that for?
04:15It's stupid and dangerous.
04:16You'll have somebody's eye out.
04:20Hurry up and sweep up, will you?
04:30Oh, burn it.
04:31Come on.
04:32Okay, let's go.
04:53Oh, my God.
05:23Yes.
05:27Manny?
05:32Manny, phone?
05:36I'll get it, shall I?
05:40Hello?
05:43Fernet, hello?
05:45Manny, where are you? The phone's been ringing.
05:48I'm running away. I left you a note. Did you not see it?
05:52Running away? Note?
05:54Did? See? What are you talking about?
05:56It's right in front of you.
05:58Why are you running away?
06:00The note will explain everything.
06:02This is nearly a page. Can you just give me the gist of us?
06:06Well, I made a photocopy, so, yes.
06:09Dear Bernard, by the time you read this, I will be gone.
06:12You will never hear my voice again.
06:14And I, in turn, will never write or phone...
06:16...or attempt to get in touch with you in any way.
06:18The reason for this is that you've been really nasty to me recently,
06:20...and I think it's time to try and make it by myself.
06:22I think I'm old enough to make my own way in the world.
06:25And if you think that I'm...
06:27...a bee!
06:29Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out!
06:38Ah! There's a bee in here! Get it! Get it!
06:41Ah! I put my arm through the glass!
06:44Ah! Oh! Get... Get out! Get out! Get out!
06:47I put my arm through the glass! It's bleeding!
06:49God! Someone help me! Someone help me!
06:51Ah!
06:53Oh! Oh! Wait a second! Wait a second!
06:55I just put in more money!
06:57There we go! There we go!
06:58Ah! The bees on my head! Get it off!
07:00Wait! Wait! Wait! Someone's coming!
07:02Oh! Thank you! Thank you!
07:03Oh! Good! What? What?
07:04No! Get off! Get off!
07:05Manny! I'm being mugged!
07:06Send help! Send help!
07:10Where's Manny?
07:12He's not here.
07:13Well, where is he? How can I find him?
07:16Well, you could become a terrible event and happen to him.
07:20I really wanted to tell him this thing.
07:22Well, what's all this telling Manny everything business anyway?
07:24I'm just as good at being told things. Come on, tell me.
07:26No, you won't get it.
07:28No, no, I will. Come on.
07:30Okay. Apparently.
07:32Yeah.
07:33Okay. David Beckham.
07:35Ah! The footballer!
07:36Yeah.
07:37Big, big smile. Black guy. Chat show.
07:40So you're not gonna get this?
07:42No, no, no. I know that's wrong. I know. Sorry.
07:43He cried during the World Cup and now he sells crisps.
07:48Do you know nothing about modern culture, Bernard?
07:52Beckham. Posh. Pokemon. I mean...
07:54Pac-Man. It's pronounced Pac-Man.
07:59Forget it. Where is Manny?
08:00Oh, he quit.
08:01He quit?
08:02Yeah.
08:03Quite funny, actually. He rang me to say he quit.
08:05And he was in the phone box, you know.
08:07And there was this bee.
08:09And he was going to...
08:10And then he put his arm through the glass and he was bleeding and everything.
08:13And then he got mugged.
08:15He got...
08:16Just like that.
08:17With the bee and the bleeding and the mugger and the...
08:22So we should help him.
08:27And then...
08:28Well, it's just that we're a little bit worried.
08:31Yeah, I'm frantic.
08:35He left after being shouted at by...
08:38She spoils him.
08:39She's always talking to him.
08:40Giving him little things to eat.
08:43How's he ever gonna learn about the real world?
08:45If anything were to happen to him.
08:47Er...
08:48Derek, could you do a tea run?
08:49Sure.
08:50Can we get you anything?
08:51Oh, thank you.
08:52I'd love a little glass of weight.
08:54As long as it's not chardony.
08:56Er...
08:57Well, no.
08:58It's tea or coffee, I'm afraid.
08:59No, thanks.
09:01Right.
09:02Er...
09:03Can you describe Manny?
09:05Um...
09:06He's...
09:07Here, help fight crime, doll 999.
09:09Is it 999 because it rhymes with crime?
09:12I really think you should start taking this seriously.
09:15Manny could have a really tough time on the streets.
09:18Now, can you describe him, please?
09:20Yeah.
09:21He's, um...
09:22He's the pain in the hole.
09:25He's small.
09:27He's got a lot of hair.
09:28And he's got a sort of goatee thing.
09:32What, a beard?
09:33Yeah.
09:35Just how old is your son?
09:39Oh, no.
09:40Oh, no.
09:41He's not our son.
09:42Oh, no.
09:43He's what?
09:44He'd be about 32, 33?
09:45Yeah.
09:46Yeah.
09:47Yeah.
09:48Yeah.
09:49Good boy.
09:50Everybody's talking about me.
09:51I don't hear a word they're saying.
10:04Everybody's talking at me
10:11I don't hear a word they're saying
10:15Only the echoes of my mind
10:21People stopping and staring
10:26I can't see their faces
10:30Only the shadows of their eyes
10:37I'm going where the sun keeps shining
10:41Through the pouring rain
10:44Going where the weather suits my clothes
10:58Come in, come in, come along.
10:59Well, I won't stay long
11:00I'll just get that glass of water you mentioned
11:02Water?
11:04What you need is a nice wine
11:05A nice glass of wine for you
11:08You like wine?
11:09You like wine?
11:11You like wine?
11:11Wine is nice
11:12Wine is very nice
11:16A nice glass of wine for you
11:19Oh, well, someone serving me drinks
11:21That's a new experience
11:23All right, all right
11:24All right
11:25No, sit down, sit down
11:27So, my friend, you like my clothes?
11:31I get you clothes just like it
11:32Oh
11:32You want the bath?
11:34Or some chicken?
11:36We can watch The Simpsons
11:38It's so funny and cool
11:40So, you're a photographer?
11:44Oh, yeah, I do a lot of things
11:45I take pictures
11:46I sell ice cream
11:48I do a little work for
11:51You know CIA?
11:52Yes
11:53I do a little work for them
11:53Can I feel your beard?
12:00Uh, sorry?
12:01Your beard
12:01Can I feel it?
12:03Uh, um
12:04No, I don't
12:06Oh, please, no, no
12:06I promise
12:07Oh, no funny stuff
12:08Nothing weird
12:09Well, okay
12:12That's good
12:14Stay still
12:16It's a good beard
12:23Yeah?
12:24Yeah
12:25Oh, it's like a little bird
12:27Tell me, do you use oils?
12:37No
12:37You should
12:37The colors
12:39It's Auburn
12:40Sultan Pepe
12:41It's Ginger, too
12:42Oh, she's got everything
12:43Come on
12:45Come here
12:46Come here
12:47Just stand here
12:47What?
12:48It's going to be fun
12:48Just right here
12:49Come on
12:49Come on
12:49Just there
12:50Good, good, good
12:51Stay still
12:51Look
12:52Look at the camera
12:52And again
12:54And again
12:55Okay, give me some emotion
12:57Give me, uh
12:58Give me happy
12:59Happy, happy, happy
13:00That's good
13:01You've done this before, huh?
13:05Okay, I need something vulnerable
13:06You are
13:06You are a lost doggy
13:08In a crowded fun fair
13:09Oh
13:10Manny was something else, you know
13:18You don't meet someone like him every day
13:21I met him every day
13:22I met him all day and all night every day
13:27Today is one of the few days I haven't met him
13:30And even then he still wrote to me and rang me
13:32I'm expecting a fax any minute
13:33But yes, I know, it's all, it's
13:39It's very
13:41Yeah, it's just so
13:46But come on
13:50Cheer up
13:50It's just the two of us now
13:51No offence or anything
13:55That just to be enough for you
13:56You just don't want to do anything fun
13:58I like fun
14:00Yeah
14:00I can do fun
14:01Yeah
14:02You want fun?
14:03Yeah
14:03Okay
14:03Bernard, I haven't come to talk to you
14:08I just forgot
14:08Oh no, Bernard
14:12What?
14:14No, check it out
14:14No
14:16No
14:17It's fun
14:19Oh no, Bernard
14:20No
14:21I'm fun now
14:22No, no
14:22No
14:23Look
14:24Mouths
14:25Hello, friend
14:26How are you?
14:29Cocktail sausage
14:30Come on
14:33Let's have a party
14:34You know what we'll do
14:35We'll go and see a good old rock gig
14:36It's a long time since I've been
14:37Hey, what if we go and see the skids
14:39Do you like pina colabs?
14:42Bernard
14:43And walking in the rain
14:45Bernard
14:45I am into champagne
14:47Oh, Bernard, stop
14:48You're just...
14:50Oh, Fran, come on
14:54That's enough
14:54That's enough
14:55Come on
14:56You drove him away
14:58Stop blaming me, will you?
15:00Just let me in, Fran
15:01Let me in
15:02Don't lock me out
15:03Let me in
15:04What are you talking about?
15:06I'm being upset, you know
15:09You tortured him
15:11You were the one
15:12That wouldn't let him eat Frosties
15:13He made so much noise
15:15If he'd waited for one minute
15:17To let the milk sink in
15:18But no
15:19And you kept on and on
15:20About his beard
15:21I kept finding it everywhere
15:22And you said he had a funny smell
15:25He did
15:25He did
15:26He had a living beetroot smell
15:28Well, who do I have to talk to now?
15:30You got me
15:31Remember me?
15:31I was here way before him
15:33You don't talk
15:34You just sit there
15:36And scowl
15:36And you smoke
15:37And you make hurtful remarks
15:38About people
15:39You used to love
15:40My hurtful remarks
15:41About people
15:41You just sit there
15:43And you snipe
15:45And sneer
15:45And you moan
15:46You carp
15:48And you complain
15:48You damn
15:50And blast
15:50And you burn
15:51And bludge
15:52And everything
15:52Until there's nothing left
15:53Except ashes and bones
15:54You always say that
15:56You never wanted him here
15:58In the first place
15:58Oh, now he's gone
16:00Now you're happy
16:01Oh, that's fine
16:02Long as you're happy
16:04Long as you're happy
16:07Everything's fine
16:08Fran
16:12Bernard
16:13I don't think I want to see you
16:16For a while
16:26Forgot my bag
16:27Without him
16:42It's just a you
16:43You're a slave
16:50Slave in Ben Hur movie
16:52It's good, good
16:54Try a maid
16:56Very family maid
16:57French maid
16:58In black and white film
16:59Come on
17:04Come on, man
17:04Give me more
17:05More maid
17:06Come on
17:06Let's do it
17:07Turn around
17:08Sophie, it's not quite right
17:12It's a bit too
17:13Merchant ivory
17:14What can we do?
17:16What can we do?
17:16What can we do?
17:18Yeah, I know
17:19Undo the buttons
17:22On your shirt
17:22There
17:23What?
17:25Yeah, the buttons
17:26Take them down
17:26Oh, no
17:28I don't think
17:30Oh, come on
17:31Don't be shy
17:31Come on
17:32No, I'd rather
17:34Not as professional
17:39As I thought you were
17:40But
17:41No
17:41I don't know
17:43What?
17:45What?
17:45What?
17:49Uh-huh
17:50That's good
17:52One more
17:53Yes
17:54That's it
17:55That's good
17:57Good, come on
17:58Yes
17:59Yes
17:59Yes
18:00Yes
18:00Manning
18:01Manning, I tell you
18:01You stick with me
18:02And I'm going to make you a star
18:03You know
18:04The hairiest star
18:06In a whole
18:07Milky Y
18:08I'm going to make you a star
18:10I'm going to make you a star
18:12I'm going to make you a star
18:14You're right
18:15I'm going to make you a star
18:28I'm not not your matter
18:30You're absolutely good
18:31Something I could've learned
18:34You're indestructible
18:36Always believing
18:38Oh, my God.
19:08Check, please.
19:30What's going on?
19:32Who's this?
19:34There's no one.
19:35He's Maurice.
19:37Maurice, wait outside.
19:38Ah, Manny, um, I want to introduce you to some very, very good friends of mine.
19:43This is Mr Akira.
19:44Yours is yours.
19:45Mr Kenzo.
19:46Mr Kohai.
19:48Dozu.
19:48Dozu.
19:49Dozu.
19:49Dozu.
19:51Manny, I got some work to do tonight, so why don't you go out and have a few drinks with Mr Akira over there?
19:58Drinks?
19:58I mean, who is he?
20:00Oh, he's a very nice man.
20:01Very nice.
20:01You go out, you have a few drinks, smile, laugh at his jokes.
20:05Then maybe you go to the casino, do some gambling.
20:08Oh, muy importante.
20:09To bring him luck, let him touch your beard before he throw the dice.
20:13Why does he want me to go?
20:15Because he see your picture.
20:17He see your picture, he go crazy.
20:18Him, him, I want him.
20:20He said that.
20:20What do you mean he saw my picture?
20:21Where did he see my picture?
20:23Oh, in a magazine.
20:24I told you this.
20:25What magazine?
20:26This.
20:26What?
20:27What's?
20:27I never posed for this.
20:30What's this?
20:31You never told me about this.
20:32I told you when you were out.
20:34No, you didn't.
20:35Are you arguing with me?
20:36You think these clothes are cheap?
20:39This food?
20:40This is how you appreciate me?
20:42I told you, I grow you like a flower.
20:44And now you must have bloom.
20:47I'm sorry, of course.
20:48I'm sorry.
20:49I'm sorry.
20:50Dozu, dozu.
20:52Look, there is no way I'm going to the casino with this man.
20:56Come on, he's a naughty.
20:57Just a bit of gambling, a few drinks.
20:59Then you have to make sure he gets back to his hotel room safely.
21:05Well, there is no way I'm going to the casino, all right?
21:10Now, look, you have given me everything that money can buy.
21:12Yes, I've slept on satin sheets.
21:16I've eaten crinkle-cut chips from a silver bowl.
21:20I've been driven all over town in minicabs.
21:23But there's some things that money can't buy.
21:26Like the love I found in the little bookshop off Russell Square.
21:30Yes, love.
21:31You know, not, well, not love so much, more freedom.
21:35You know, well, not really freedom, more kind of a largeness of heart.
21:40Well, not really largeness of heart or freedom or love.
21:44But I was never contractually obliged to sleep with foreign businessmen, all right?
21:49And that is not nothing.
21:50That is something.
21:51And that is something that no amount of spaghetti bolognese and little drinks with umbrellas in can buy.
21:56So there's no way I'm going to the casino.
21:58No way.
21:59Never.
21:59Hello.
22:14Hello.
22:15Hello.
22:18Sorry I'm late.
22:20No, no, you're not late now, sir.
22:22Er, should I go on with the...
22:24No, you don't have to, no.
22:25I don't mind...
22:26No, it's entirely up to you.
22:27I mean, I really...
22:28I don't know.
22:30You don't have to.
22:31I don't know, sir.
22:31Well, you've got to go.
22:33I don't know.
23:02Oh, my God.
23:06What?
23:06Oh, God.
23:08What was it?
23:08Mickey Rourke had another facelift.
23:11He looks like his trousers.
23:13Oh, look at him.
23:16Manny, can I borrow your corkscrew, please?
23:18Yeah.
23:32I don't care.
23:42Oh, God.
23:43I don't care.
23:45¶¶
24:15¶¶
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