- 2 days ago
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00:30Yeah, yeah, I'm coming. Yeah, I'm coming. I'm coming, all right? Pain in the arse!
00:45Where are you off to? I'm going to yoga.
00:49That's nice. I often wonder what...
00:50Don't start. Eva's been on at me for months. She says I'm stressed.
00:55What does Eva know about stress? She's got three kids.
00:57We've all got three kids. At least she's doing something different.
01:01Oi, Thor, get on with it.
01:03I'm ending at once to shut her up. She's really busting my bra. I've got to go. I'm late. I'm always late. Thanks.
01:09What have you kind of moved everything on my desk for? Where's my lighter?
01:20Bills. Lots of bills. Our solicitor is sending her solicitor a solicitor's letter, and his solicitor is billing us for the cost.
01:27Are you making coffee or not?
01:29We have to get some more stock. There's nothing decent.
01:31Stop! Mother of God! Go and get your hair done.
01:33The boy is making noises again. It sounds like he's giving birth.
01:37You still haven't taken your encyclopedias out of the bath.
01:40I want a herb garden.
01:43Stop nagging. What's the matter with you? Where's my lighter?
01:46Fran is coming to dinner. I have to cook and clean and run the shop, do the dusting type.
01:51Excuse me.
01:53Just tell me where it is.
01:54Excuse me.
01:55What? What?
01:56Do you have anything by Adam Phillips?
01:57How would I know? Go to a proper bookshop.
02:00Look, there's no other way to say this, but I didn't come in here to be insulted.
02:04Well, I didn't ask for the job of insulting you.
02:08You know, in another life, maybe we could have been brothers running a small, quirky taverna in Sicily.
02:14Maybe we would have married the local twins instead of wasting each other's time here in this dump.
02:20But it was not to be.
02:22So, hop it.
02:26Manny, I'm being calm.
02:28I am asking you for the last time where...
02:31Who does all the shopping?
02:32Me.
02:33Who does all the cooking?
02:34Me.
02:34Who gets all the stock?
02:35Me.
02:35Who went without so you could have a hot breakfast?
02:37Me.
02:38Look, there is your lighter.
02:40There, next to your cigarettes, on the desk, which I tidied earlier.
02:44Enjoy your bacon roll.
02:49Why do you always have to make the bacon so curly?
02:52Right!
02:53What's it?
02:54I quit.
02:54You quit every day.
02:56I'm going out now for some peace.
02:58So I suggest when you reapply for the job in about half an hour, you do the interview yourself.
03:05Why don't you wear your pinstripe suit?
03:07The one that gives you a big arse.
03:08You like the look of yourself in that.
03:13Every bloody day.
03:19I don't know why I bother.
03:23Are you interested in these?
03:26Freud?
03:27It's a complete set.
03:29Yeah.
03:29A load of rubbish, really.
03:30Don't try and push me.
03:31Condition okay.
03:35A bit scuffed.
03:37Twenty quid.
03:39All right, twenty-five.
03:40That's absolutely it.
03:41Great.
03:42They're all yours.
03:42Thirty.
03:43Thirty-five.
03:44All right.
03:45Forty is my final offer.
03:47Fifty quid.
03:48That's all they're worth.
03:50All right.
03:52Sixty, yeah?
03:52Great.
03:53There goes the money.
03:57And, uh, here's a tenner for the taxi.
04:02That looks good.
04:10Hey, hey!
04:11What?
04:13Brown sauce.
04:13Told you so.
04:24It's amazing.
04:26If I was any more relaxed, you could just pull me into a bowl.
04:35Look at you, smiling away.
04:38You're pretty.
04:39See?
04:40You don't need horrible cigarettes and gallons of booze just to feel normal.
04:45Is this normal?
04:47Yes.
04:48That's what I'm telling you.
04:50You change when you drink.
04:52You're so loud.
04:53You just sit there with a fag in your mouth, cackling like something out of a brothel.
04:57Oh, God, I don't have to care, though.
04:59And when you're drunk, the way you eat and swear,
05:03suddenly crying and then singing and kissing terrible men.
05:07I know, I know.
05:10Sometimes I think you're just going to end up with a head full of gold teeth
05:13roaring and snorting over a vegetable stool someplace.
05:17Right, come round to mine and I'll show you the next set of exercises.
05:20We can have carrot juice.
05:22Carrot juice?
05:25What?
05:25No, yes, no, I'd love to.
05:27Definitely.
05:28Great.
05:28I see you.
05:32You know, I've never told you this, but all those fags and boos make you reek.
05:37What?
05:38Do I?
05:39Stinky booze.
05:41So no more smoking and drinking with those two layabouts.
05:44No, I know.
05:45No, I won't.
05:45Excuse me, can I get it?
06:04Where have you been?
06:05I called you for ages.
06:06Manny is driving me nuts.
06:08He never stops nagging.
06:09That's because he's got pressure on his meridian lines.
06:12Which, excuse me, can I, could I, could I, do I smell or what?
06:19Yes, you do, because you're full of things that are bad for you.
06:22What do you want about it?
06:23Listen, he's making me miserable.
06:25You are miserable because you are always guzzling or gulping or puffing.
06:30What's wrong with you?
06:31I'm talking about Manny.
06:32You know Manny, the fruit storm I happen to live with?
06:35They want a drink.
06:36You always want something.
06:39You know, in Tibet, if they want something, do you know what they do?
06:42They give something away.
06:44Do they?
06:45Do they?
06:45That must be why they're such a dominant global power.
06:48Excuse me.
06:49What you should do is stop smoking and drinking.
06:52I haven't had anything for the last two hours.
06:54Why not?
06:55Yoga.
06:56You shouldn't be messing around with that stuff.
06:58I read an article.
06:59It's very dangerous.
07:00It's amazing.
07:02It's like having sunshine in your veins.
07:04Here we go, Mary Poppins.
07:06It is a shame the way people pollute themselves.
07:09I mean, look around you.
07:10Just look.
07:11What do you see?
07:13I see intelligent, attractive, charming people who smoke and drink all the time and never
07:17get sick or die or bore the bollocks off their friends.
07:21Excuse me.
07:24This is pointless.
07:25I'll see you at dinner, which, by the way, he is making a big deal out of, of course.
07:29You are being irrational.
07:30The only thing that's going to bring you inner peace is...
07:32Stop talking goo.
07:34The only thing that's going to bring me inner peace is a beard-seeking missile.
07:38Are you trying to kill me?
07:53You left a box of books on the stairs.
07:56I'm very sorry.
07:57I bought something that will actually sell.
07:59What?
07:59What is this?
08:00Freud.
08:01Complete works.
08:01Drivel.
08:02A waste of money.
08:07So what kind of filth is spewing out of your hatch tonight?
08:11We'll be having mini medleys of chicken with summer berries.
08:14You know I hate student food.
08:16To start.
08:18And then it will be daube of Argentinian lamb with julienne of red roots, celeriac mash and
08:22salsa verde.
08:25I bet you forgot to buy the plonk.
08:26The wines will be a tavel followed by a choice of Primitivo or Navarro.
08:31Well, I want a drink now!
08:35There's the two litres of your Spanish antifreeze.
08:38Let me know when you want your food chewed.
08:42I'll wait till you put your teeth in, dear.
08:45Don't stop.
08:48Oh, isn't this nice?
08:57What were those funny coloured things?
08:59Vegetables.
09:01You know I'm allergic to vegetables.
09:03You are trying to kill me.
09:05Excuse me.
09:08What's the matter with him?
09:12Can't you see his energy scent is a misaligned?
09:14Oh, Christ.
09:16And you're feeling like this because...
09:18I feel like this because he never thinks about anybody but himself.
09:22Fran, I've made a little something for you.
09:25Oh, Manny.
09:26It's your favourite, rum and chocolate.
09:31Oh, yes, kissy, kissy.
09:33I can't really help me.
09:34I've got to avoid all stimulants.
09:36Oh, listen to you!
09:37You're becoming one of them.
09:39You're going over to the other side.
09:41The land of sandals, spoonbenders and yoghurt fanciers.
09:45Where everybody farts all the time because they don't know how to laugh.
09:49Everyone should meditate.
09:51Oh, let's.
09:52Then we can all make some tofu for the dolphins who live in the fridge.
09:57Fran is trying to improve her life.
09:59You could offer some support.
10:00It's shite.
10:02Like the Freud.
10:03How did you price that rubbish?
10:04I didn't.
10:05I was cooking.
10:07Very convenient for you to leave all the back-breaking labour to me.
10:15Yoga.
10:16Freud.
10:17Fran, I need to talk to you.
10:19He treats me like a child.
10:20I can't cope with him.
10:22He eats all the sweets in the house.
10:23He says they'll make my hair fall out.
10:25I found a baby monitor under my bed.
10:28Well, sort it out right now.
10:30What are we going to do?
10:30Close your eyes.
10:32God, Fran.
10:33And keep them closed.
10:34Take a deep breath in.
10:36Stick out your tongue.
10:37And roll your head.
10:39The psychopathology of the inverted sociopath.
10:55This is all about him.
11:02Mania.
11:04And the walls.
11:04Now, fold your arms.
11:07And sway them gently.
11:11That's it.
11:13Mother complex.
11:16He's got the last.
11:19Okay.
11:20Raise your head.
11:22And open your eyes.
11:29Now, doesn't that feel better?
11:32Yes.
11:34But he's becoming totally impossible.
11:36I mean, look.
11:37He hasn't left anything for us.
11:45Breakfast.
11:46What?
11:51What's happened?
11:51What's the matter?
11:53Hang on.
11:59Bit of tea.
12:01Nasal spray.
12:01Oh.
12:02Puggy sign.
12:07What's this?
12:12Why did you do that?
12:14So you can use the towel.
12:15Oh, I haven't saved.
12:17Get out.
12:17Jam.
12:18Jam.
12:36According to Freud, it's dangerous even to be in the same room as you.
12:40We'll have to replace all our cutlery with plastic.
12:43And then I want to get you electronically tagged.
12:47Bernie, pass the butter, please.
12:49This?
12:50No, that.
12:51What did you say?
12:52I said, no, that.
12:54You said, no, Dad.
12:57There you go again, projecting.
12:59I'm sure I never bought those stupid books.
13:01I'm not projecting.
13:03I've never seen such projecting.
13:05It's in Cinemascope with Dolby Surround.
13:09You're deranged.
13:10You need help.
13:11Normal.
13:12Normal?
13:12What other grown man makes soldiers for his runny egg and then divides them into rank?
13:17Bit of fun.
13:20Yeah.
13:21So you won't mind if I ate this one?
13:22Don't touch the colonel.
13:25It'll upset the rest of the men.
13:27Fall or shrink.
13:28You're nuts.
13:30And so is your whole platoon.
13:31And then raise your hands up and say hello to the sun.
13:53Hello, sun.
13:54You don't actually say it.
13:55It's not even sunny.
13:58Hey.
14:00Do you fancy some toast?
14:02Wheat is poison.
14:04I can't believe you had chocolate.
14:07You didn't have meat, did you?
14:08No.
14:09No, no, no, no, no.
14:13Well, just a little bit of chicken.
14:15And a few specks of lamb.
14:18Fran.
14:19Fran, we're going to have to fix you.
14:21Your chakras will be all clogged.
14:27Eva, do you ever get a bit bored?
14:33Feeling this good all the time.
14:34I'm going to ignore that.
14:39It's the toxins in you talking.
14:41Come on, I'll send to you a yang.
14:46Right.
14:47How about a special treat?
14:49Is it that carrot thing again?
14:52Come on.
14:52I'm not a total killjoy, you know.
14:54You sit tight and I'll ruff us up some naughty rice cakes.
14:57Here we are.
15:20Yummy.
15:21Yummy.
15:21Yummy.
15:27Bye.
15:53Bye.
15:53Bye.
15:55Bye.
15:55Bye.
15:55Bye.
15:56eemo
16:07what are you doing?
16:09Stripping the chicken.
16:11What for?
16:12Well, I can make chicken soup, chicken salad, chicken sandwiches
16:15You could make a chicken cravat but it's just hassle, we'll get a takeaway
16:18Loads of things I can do with this
16:20It's the chicken
16:21Chicken is finite
16:23You've got to move on. How are you going to cope when somebody dies?
16:26I'll just use the legs. It's thrifty.
16:28It's disgusting, is what it is.
16:30This is how Jeffrey Dahmer and that lot get started.
16:33They can't let go. Old boxes of fried chicken lying around.
16:36And then a friend says I have to leave town.
16:39And...
16:40The Black & Decker. There's bits of them lying around like nibbles.
16:44You've got to see a shrink.
16:46Have a wing. It's crunchy.
16:50Can't you see you're not right?
16:53No.
16:59So I made him an appointment.
17:01Can you imagine what the analyst is finding in that horrible head of his?
17:11You know, if the two of you could do something relaxing together,
17:14this place wouldn't be so tense.
17:16What? Every time we bicker, we should have sex.
17:19Let's have a drink and be yourself again, will you?
17:22So what's it like then? You know, fags and booze.
17:26Well, to be honest, after years of smoking and drinking,
17:30you do sometimes look at yourself and think.
17:32Yep.
17:33You know, just sometimes in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning
17:37to that 400th glass of corner shop piss at 3am.
17:40You do sometimes look at yourself and think.
17:44Yep.
17:46This is fantastic.
17:48I'm in heaven.
17:50I'm in heaven.
17:51I mean, obviously, I'm very grateful for the job.
17:58And I don't think he's fundamentally a bad person.
18:06I suppose he might be.
18:08I mean, it's not a bad life after all.
18:11I mean, obviously, there's the cooking, the cleaning and the doing the accounts
18:15and making the cheese, scraping the beds.
18:18But I'm happy, really.
18:21Yes, you're right. You're right. I'm being exploited.
18:27It's about self-respect, isn't it?
18:33Isn't it?
18:35Exactly.
18:36Exactly.
18:37I must stand my ground.
18:39Brilliant.
18:40Thank you so much for your help.
18:42Check all right?
18:54Service in this place.
18:56Um, excuse me.
18:58Sorry, excuse...
18:59Excuse...
19:00Is there something wrong with me?
19:02Hm.
19:04Service.
19:11Yes, sir.
19:12Two cappuccinos, chocolate cake.
19:14Straight away, sir.
19:18Wow.
19:19I think this therapy might have helped.
19:21You are the king.
19:23There is a touch of the king, there's no denying.
19:27On the house, sir.
19:29Sorry for the delay.
19:33King of kings!
19:35When the other kings don't know what to do, they call on you.
19:38Yeah, the royal line does ring from time to time.
19:41Oh, won't he be surprised?
19:43Who?
19:44Bernard.
19:45Ah, yes.
19:46Him.
19:47Ah, yes.
19:48Him.
19:50Yes.
19:51Yes.
19:52Where have you been?
19:54Are you talking to me?
19:55You look different.
19:56Did they put you on steroids?
19:57What are you talking about, you silly little man?
20:00Oh, look here.
20:01Shouldn't you be serving a customer or something?
20:03And isn't it about time you had a really good scrub?
20:04It's not my fault I look like this.
20:05You haven't washed my things.
20:06Ah.
20:07We can't blame others for our appearance, can we?
20:08No, no, no, no, but...
20:09I suggest you wash your own socks if you can chisel them out of your shoes.
20:10I'm going for a nap.
20:11I don't wanna go to help him.
20:12No.
20:13No, there's no longer than me.
20:14I feel the main reason to say that that is.
20:15Yes.
20:16And I think too many people have done that.
20:17We are in a bit of the nuisance of a step.
20:19All right.
20:20Well, the other one is coming off.
20:21No, I don't want to go next.
20:22You want to wait for the fifth and fourth.
20:23Well, I don't want to go next to that.
20:24A little bit more.
20:25You want to sit down?
20:26I don't want to go next to that.
20:27I don't want to go next to that.
20:28I don't want to go next to that.
20:29I don't even want to dry.
20:30What?
20:31No, no, no, but I suggest you wash your own socks if you can chisel them out of your shoes
20:38I don't want to be disturbed
20:41How dare you speak to me like that my own son
20:49What did you say
20:57It does for it is you know the unconscious thing
21:01Super ego something something. That's exactly what he's like
21:08Not as if he's not rewarded
21:11Maybe not in any material way or any other way, but still
21:19I may have been a little hard on him
21:23But he leaves boxes in the hall I've only tripped and
21:26Yes, yes, I'm a monster. I know it's not his fault. The fact is I'm a terrible bastard. Yes, wife. Thanks for your help
21:35My one complete set of fried 200 pounds. Thank you
21:46Manny your wages side the late oh
21:51Thanks, sir. I was just gonna get us some lunch. No, no. I've done that
21:56Hopefully kind of you
21:59Manny, it's nothing
22:02You're welcome
22:03Nothing
22:04Manny, it's nothing
22:05Hey
22:07Hey
22:09Come on
22:11Give him a kiss
22:12Come on
22:13Give him a kiss
22:14Come on
22:15You're pissed
22:18I know
22:20I know
22:21Come on
22:24Open the boodle
22:25What?
22:27What are you looking at?
22:28Oh
22:29I cracked, didn't I?
22:32I even started going on about how I had to give up milk and peas and God knows what
22:36I mean
22:37What's wrong with fucking peas?
22:39I told her she could stuff it up her chakras
22:42I know it well, now she's not talking to me
22:44I know it well, now she's not talking to me
22:46Come on
22:47Open the bloody way
22:48Go on, Manny, get a move on
22:50Please
22:51What?
22:52I wouldn't kill a person and say please
22:54Do you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna have you spayed
22:57Go on, Manny
22:58Resign
22:59Again
23:00Go on
23:01I do
23:02I resign
23:03Right, well, I've had enough of this, enough, I'm gonna
23:04Yeah, go on, go on, go on
23:05I'll make this up for you
23:06I can be both of you
23:07Look
23:08Bernard
23:09Bernard
23:10It's not
23:11Bernard, here's your tea
23:12Oh, Bernard
23:13Can I have my pocket money?
23:15Oh, Manny
23:16For the last time
23:17Shut up
23:19Mother of God
23:21I think I'm going to kill ya
23:29Now that is mad
23:40That's legal
23:41You can help us
23:42If you come and touch me
23:44Send a few more
23:45Now that I'll leave it
23:47If you come and touch me
23:48And you pray
23:49You can find each other
23:50If you come and touch me
23:51I don't have the same
23:52But I love you
23:53I don't have the same
23:54He's not aять
23:55I don't have the same
23:56I don't have the same
23:57I don't know
23:58With my feet
23:59And I'll leave it
24:00I don't know
24:01I'm gonna love you
24:02I'll leave it
24:03I don't have the same
24:04To your feet
24:05I don't have the same
24:06I don't know
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