- 2 days ago
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Abbey! Abbey! Abbey!
00:07Abbey! Abbey!
00:10Calme-toi, Aldo.
00:12Je suis désolé, mon père, mais c'est un miracle.
00:15Ces raisins, ils viennent d'arroser dans le jardin.
00:19Tu es sûr ?
00:21Oui.
00:22Il y a une prophétie qui dit que les raisins qui poussent sur les ronces d'un rosier
00:32feront un vin pour le sacré père lui-même.
00:40Mais vous pleurez !
00:52...
01:19Je ne veux pas, Freddy.
01:20It's a gift you can bribe me any way you like I'm not house-sitting for you put it on your neck
01:24It gives you a Shiatsu massage
01:30Oh, that's oh already you see I can feel that and that goes right the way down. I
01:38Think I may have got a nerve there. Oh, so that's what it's for. I can't feel my thighs
01:50If you do change your mind I won't bye-bye
01:59Corkscrew course Manny Manny
02:03Manny Manny Manny Manny Manny will you stop shouting at me? Sorry, where's the court your hair looks amazing. Where's the cost?
02:24No, don't know where anything is have you been back there recently? It's like Dresden
02:29This place isn't that bad. It is that bad for one thing. Didn't you have a cat?
02:35Oh, yeah, where'd he go? I found him nipsy brilliant. No, no, you don't want to see him
02:43What's up with you? It's brought on my cramp. I get terrible cramp when I'm stressed
02:47Well, don't be stressed. Why are you stressed because I open the fridge door this shin bandages next to the cheese
02:52That's just a little it's jam in the bath. Oh, come on
02:55You are a filth wizard friend only to the pig and the rat
03:02Look
03:04Pizza I was gonna warm it and eat it later. Everybody does that. That's normal. You are looking for things to complain about and what are these?
03:14Wasps
03:20Everything's covered in filth look
03:25The whole place is a complete mess. You can't find anything right now. I'm eating scrambled egg with a comb from a shoe
03:35I'm sorry, but you I really must insist you send someone immediately
03:38All right later today all right tomorrow then but first thing tomorrow all right after lunch, but just after lunch
03:45six o'clock perfect
03:47I
03:53I
03:55I
03:57I
03:59I
04:01I
04:03I
04:05I
04:07I
04:09I
04:11I
04:13I
04:15I
04:17I
04:19I
04:21I
04:23I
04:25I
04:27I
04:29I
04:31I
04:33I
04:47I
04:49I
04:51I
04:53I
04:55I
04:57I
05:11I
05:13I
05:15I
05:17I
05:19I
05:21I
05:23I
05:25I
05:27I
05:29I
05:31I
05:33I
05:35I
05:37I
05:39I
05:41I
05:43I
05:57I
05:59I
06:01I
06:03I
06:05I
06:07I
06:09I
06:11I
06:13I'm the cleaner
06:15Second degree unspecified soiling zones B through K
06:17North ceiling corner cobweb containing a number of deceased arachnids
06:23With beans
06:25I
06:27Why did you call this man into my house?
06:29I
06:30I love toffee
06:31Don't know why I don't eat toffee all the time
06:33Oh
06:34Oh my
06:35Oh
06:36Oh
06:37I'm asking you a question why did you get this freak into my house?
06:39I had to you've made me
06:41Well, I don't trust him
06:42He has no nasal hair
06:44Anyway, why do we need them? The place isn't that bad
06:48This is going to take some time
06:58Everything's very
07:00Dirty
07:02You have grime under the taps
07:04That's very nasty
07:06The state of the bathroom is
07:08Shameful
07:10And the dust
07:12Oh the dust
07:14The place isn't that dusty
07:18The worst thing is the cups
07:25Yes
07:26You have very
07:27Very
07:28Dusty
07:30Cups
07:31I want to clean your dusty cups from the inside out
07:35Okay
07:36I'm just going to go and sit over here
07:37Okay
07:38Anything else about cleaning you can ask Manny
07:40Very well
07:41Do you have anywhere to stay?
07:44So that I can get to work?
07:48Do we have to leave the house?
07:49Oh
07:50This is a big job
07:51You can stay if you want to
07:52It's just that some people prefer to leave
07:54Well
07:55Freddie asked us to house sit
07:56We're not going anywhere
07:57We're not house sitting for Freddie
07:59What are you doing?
08:01Some ash fell
08:02I'm just wiping it into my trousers
08:04Filthy
08:05Nothing
08:06Whatever am I going to do with you?
08:08I say it's terribly sweet of both of you
08:13It's marvellous to have somebody to look after the place
08:16Pleasure
08:17Sorry, sorry, sorry
08:22I may have been drinking before
08:29No, no, I'm sorry
08:32Clearly a very silly place to put it
08:34We have another one
08:36Although
08:37I would ask you to be careful of that
08:39Because it is the only one left in the world
08:42Now
08:43Heating
08:44Ah
08:45I see you're an aficionado of paintings
08:49Oh, yes
08:50Yes
08:51It's a cow
08:54You like art?
08:57Oh, yes
08:58Yes
08:59Especially late
09:01Art
09:02Yes
09:03I mean, the way he's captured the look
09:07The cows looking over there
09:09We can't see what the cows are seeing
09:11Maybe the artist is saying cows know something
09:14We don't
09:15It's French, apparently, from the Dutch school
09:20Yes, Brown
09:21Well, I don't know what his name is
09:23The timer
09:25What?
09:26Thermostat
09:27Thingy
09:28Controller
09:29Show both of you
09:30Who's in the cellar
09:31Follow me
09:32Okay
09:33Nanny, I have to go on wee-wee
09:34All right
09:35Now, this is very important
09:45Some unusual laugh
09:46Is it?
09:47Sorry
09:48Sorry
09:53What's wrong with your wine?
09:54Nothing at all
09:55I just drink slowly
09:56I get undressed slowly
09:58Well, I think I can manage that
10:03Yeah
10:04That's on
10:05That's off
10:06No, no, no
10:08That's on
10:09That's off
10:10Oh, and R
10:14Please feel free to enjoy the wine
10:17But this is very important
10:20Anything here is fine
10:22You can drink as many bottles as you want
10:24But
10:25These ten here
10:27Now, please
10:29Don't touch them
10:31Don't even move them
10:32These are very special
10:33Right
10:34I'm presenting one of these
10:36To the Pope
10:37End of the month
10:38Really?
10:39Wow
10:40What for?
10:41Oh, I have a cousin
10:42Who's Cardinal, Roy
10:43And
10:44These trumped-up charges
10:46Some nonsense about him
10:47Punching Sophia Loren
10:48In a nightclub
10:51And the Pope
10:52Who really is a lovely
10:53Lovely man
10:54He made the whole thing
10:56Go away
10:59And there's some books
11:00On wine upstairs as well
11:01Which is good
11:02Because sometimes it's jolly
11:03To know what one's drinking
11:05Ah, Bernard
11:06Um, Manny will fill you in
11:07I must just go and say
11:08Goodbye to the dogs
11:10Right, what's the thing?
11:11Very simple
11:12Yes
11:13Very simple
11:14Very simple
11:15Okay, so what is it?
11:16Right
11:17We can only drink
11:18These ten bottles here
11:19Just these?
11:20Yeah
11:21These
11:22Completely out of bounds
11:23Can't even touch these
11:24Just these ones then?
11:25These the only ones
11:26Just these ones
11:27Okay, got it
11:28Thank God you were here though
11:29Because I would have thought
11:30It was the other way around
11:31Old wine is good wine
11:37Yes
11:38But expensive wine is good wine also
11:43Yes, but the older the wine is
11:48The gooder it is
11:49Ah, but by the same token
11:52The more expensive the wine then the gooder it is also
11:58Oh, look at the colours
12:01Yeah
12:02All the colours
12:03Yeah
12:04Well, yellow
12:05This is like a farmyard of wine
12:10It's like looking into the eye of a duck
12:15And sucking all the fluid from its beak
12:20It's touche
12:21And because you win, you get to go to the cellar
12:25Hey!
12:26Music's a bit boring isn't it?
12:31I wonder if they'd let me put my tape on
12:34I've got all my favourite songs on here
12:36I'm a giant ear
12:38Waiting for your songs of niceness
12:41Will you just look at these breasts?
12:58Wait until you hear this
13:15Ah!
13:16Wine!
13:17Ha, ha, ha!
13:18No, no, no
13:19Drink me!
13:20Drink me!
13:21Drink me!
13:22Drink me!
13:23Drink me!
13:24Boys!
13:25Boys!
13:26Boys!
13:27You!
13:28Le vin de Rosier
13:29Oh, that'll do
13:30Got one!
13:31Ha, ha!
13:32More fuel
13:33Hand over
13:34Thank you
13:35Mind your leg
13:36Shhh
13:37Shhh
13:38Shhh
13:39Shhh
13:40Shhh
13:41Shhh
13:42Shhh
13:43Shhh
13:44Shhh
13:45Shhh
13:46Shhh
13:47Shhh
13:48Shhh
13:49Shhh
13:50Shhh
13:51Shhh
13:52Shhh
13:53Shhh
13:54Shhh
13:55Shhh
13:56Shhh
13:57Shhh
13:58Shhh
13:59Shhh
14:00Shhh
14:01Shhh
14:02Shhh
14:03Shhh
14:04Shhh
14:05Shhh
14:06Shhh
14:07Shhh
14:08Shhh
14:09Shhh
14:10Shhh
14:11Shhh
14:12Shhh
14:13Shhh
14:14Shhh
14:15Shhh
14:16Shhh
14:17Shhh
14:18Shhh
14:19Shhh
14:20Shhh
14:21Shhh
14:22Shhh
14:23Shhh
14:24Shhh
14:25Shhh
14:26Shhh
14:27It was a crazy, crazy time for me.
14:43A short spell in the Navy.
14:45Ooh, climb aboard, Captain.
14:48And now I'm in antiques. Unbelievable.
14:52Wow, quite the Renaissance man.
14:54It was round about then my divorce came through, and I've never been able to settle on any one woman since.
15:00It's like, um, oh, I don't know, cruising.
15:03Oh, oh!
15:05And California, and I've sipped champagne from a shoe.
15:22Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
15:24Mm-hmm.
15:26Mm-hmm.
15:26Look, look.
15:28Ben.
15:29Ben.
15:29Look.
15:31Ben.
15:32Ben.
15:33Look.
15:34Ben.
15:35Ben.
15:36Ben.
15:38Ben.
15:39Ben.
15:40Look, Ben.
15:42Ben.
15:43Ben.
15:44Ben.
15:44Look.
15:45Ben.
15:46Ben.
15:47Ben.
15:48Ben, look.
15:50Look.
15:51Look, Ben.
15:51Bernard. Bernard. Bernard, look. Look. Bernard. Bernard. Bernard.
15:59What? Look. I'm a prostitute robot from the future.
16:07Yes. Listen to the rubbish in this book.
16:11Don't drink burgundy in a boat. What does that mean?
16:15Wine is just for enjoyment. You speak the truth, my friend.
16:19I look this up. It says it's worth £7,000.
16:23Nonsense.
16:25That's the normal, everyday drinking wine Freddy gave us.
16:30Not the really expensive, out-of-bounds stuff.
16:33That's from the cheap and dusty wine on the right.
16:38Not the clean, expensive wine on the left.
16:41Now that I think of it, there's stickers from Laundice on the bottles.
16:55There isn't any chance, Manny, is there, that you somehow manage to direct us to drink not the cheap wine, but the unbelievably rare and expensive wine, is there?
17:03How much did you say the wine cost?
17:09£7,000.
17:11Well, I've got £3.50 on me. What have you got?
17:15Don't panic. Is that what you're doing?
17:17Yes. I'm sort of dancing in a panicky way.
17:19Well, stop. You just think about this clearly and figure a way out.
17:23What?
17:24Now, here's a thought.
17:26Don't say no immediately, because this could sound a little crazy.
17:29Could we burn down the house?
17:32No, that's absurd.
17:34Thank, Bernard. Thank.
17:40What about a gift?
17:42That's a much better idea.
17:43But it'd have to be perfect.
17:44Yes.
17:45What about a really nice box of pencils?
17:47No.
17:48I mean, a really nice box.
17:50Yeah.
17:51No, I think if, you know, you're going to give the guy pencils for drinking his wine,
17:54you're talking about, you know, magic pencils.
17:57You draw a cow, the cow comes to life. Those kind of pencils.
17:59Yeah.
18:00Yeah, sorry, yeah.
18:01We'll make some more.
18:02What?
18:03We'll use some of the cheap stuff.
18:04Nobody will ever know the difference.
18:05But this costs £7,000.
18:07He's going to present this to the Pope.
18:08He won't know the difference.
18:09He's the Pope.
18:10He's used to the finer things.
18:12It's all waffle.
18:13Nobody is prepared to admit that wine actually doesn't have a taste.
18:16But you can't taste anything.
18:17You smoke eight bajillion cigarettes a day.
18:20What's that?
18:21What?
18:22What are you eating?
18:23It's some sort of delicious biscuit.
18:25It's a coaster.
18:28Is it?
18:29Are there any more?
18:30Anyway, do they describe the wine here in that book?
18:32Well, yes, I think so.
18:33Ow!
18:34Oh!
18:35What?
18:36Oh, crap.
18:37Very stressed at the moment.
18:38Very, very stressed.
18:39Use the Shiatsu machine.
18:40Right.
18:41Oh.
18:42Yeah.
18:43Ah!
18:44Oh!
18:45Oh!
18:46Oh!
18:47Oh!
18:48Ah!
18:49Oh!
18:50So, Ben, who's the real Ben, Ben?
18:53What can I tell you?
18:54Um, didn't have such a good time at school.
18:57Didn't feel comfortable.
18:58Hmm.
18:59So I sort of...
19:00Retreated into a private fantasy world.
19:03Yeah.
19:04But I always...
19:05Got on very well with women.
19:06And...
19:07They helped you feel less different.
19:08But...
19:09But something was still wrong.
19:10Something indefinable.
19:11Something that occasionally stops you sleeping.
19:13How could you possibly know all this?
19:16Just a hunch.
19:19Tell me, Ben.
19:24How many times a day do you talk to your mother?
19:26Eh?
19:27Well, God, I don't know.
19:28I mean, the normal amount.
19:29Four, five times a day?
19:31Yes.
19:32Ben.
19:33I've got something to tell you.
19:34And it might come as a bit of a shock, but...
19:35You, I...
19:36Oh, no.
19:37Question.
19:38What do the following people have in common?
19:39Elton John.
19:40Ian McKellen.
19:41Jean-Paul Gaultier.
19:42Well, they're all fabulous.
19:43What are you doing?
19:44What are you doing?
19:45What are you doing?
19:46I'm chewing the cork to get it back in the bottle.
19:47Ow!
19:48Ow!
19:49What?
19:50What?
19:51I killed.
19:52It's gone loose.
19:53It hurts.
19:54A trace of vanilla.
19:55Do we have any vanilla?
19:56No.
19:57No.
19:58No.
19:59No.
20:00No.
20:01No.
20:02No.
20:03No.
20:04No.
20:05No.
20:06No.
20:07No.
20:08No.
20:09No.
20:10A trace of vanilla.
20:11Do we have any vanilla?
20:12Ice cream.
20:13Yes.
20:14Yes.
20:15I'll take the freezer.
20:17They won't laugh at me if they knew what I was trying to do.
20:27To create a new strained of super wine in half an hour with the fraction of nature's
20:31resources.
20:32And a soul for an assistant.
20:33Bernard Black.
20:34He's mad.
20:35They'd say.
20:36He's insane.
20:37He's dangerous.
20:38Well, I'll show them.
20:39I have returned
20:45It's my destiny my legacy to the world anything else you need that just with a limp and everything I'm getting a bit tired
20:57An oaky finish oak oak to the front garden
21:09What is this this isn't oak where did you get so much
21:39You never know you never know
22:09It's all so clear I suppose I've been fighting this all my life but why am I fighting
22:15Thank you Fran you've saved my life you have saved my life
22:19I'm wet
22:33Jum Jum Jum Jum
22:39There
22:41Well
22:47Sorry
22:49Oh hello
22:51That is a very very nice dress
22:53Paper
22:55Another date
22:57Yep
22:59I think this time I might be on to something
23:01He's a very interesting young man
23:03You know him actually
23:05Really?
23:07Gah
23:09Bye Bernard
23:11Dirty
23:13Dirty
23:15Dirty
23:17Dirty
23:19Oh my God
23:29Oh my God
23:31What?
23:33Oh my God
23:34What?
23:35What?
23:36It's the 19th
23:37It's my birthday
Recommended
28:56
|
Up next
24:06
24:07
24:10
29:44
29:00
1:04:05
50:02
48:53