- 7/12/2025
When Joey goes to Hollywood to pursue his dream of being an actor, he meets his nephew Michael and ends up sharing a unique camaraderie with him.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Hey!
00:01Hey!
00:02Where's Michael?
00:03Can he up yet?
00:04No.
00:05He got home really late last night.
00:07That's like the third time this week.
00:09I think he might have a girlfriend.
00:12I'm not a good mother.
00:18Well, look, I'm serious.
00:21It's not impossible.
00:22He's seen the way I am around women.
00:24He can't help but have picked up on some of it.
00:26Well, I guess it's possible.
00:27You never know with Michael.
00:28He's really good at keeping his emotions to himself.
00:31I am a man who will fight for your honor.
00:38Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but that is Peter Cetera,
00:41the voice of modern love.
00:43Like a lion he shouted on from a long time ago.
00:48Michael!
00:49Michael!
00:50Uh, what, what is, uh, what's going on with you?
00:53Okay, I met someone.
00:54You met someone?
00:55Hey!
00:56And it's a woman.
00:57It's a woman!
00:58It's a woman!
01:01I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys, but it's early.
01:03You know, I've only gone out with her a couple of times.
01:05Well, when can I meet her?
01:06No, I don't want to overwhelm her, Mom.
01:08I won't overwhelm her.
01:09She'll love me.
01:10I'm a cool mom.
01:11I even got a tattoo on my ass that says so.
01:14When can I meet her?
01:15Maybe we can schedule that little meeting when hell freezes over.
01:18Dude, you have a girlfriend.
01:20It already did.
01:28Come on!
01:29Hey!
01:30Hey!
01:31Hey!
01:32How come you're not laying out by the jacuzzi?
01:33Oh, there's this creepy teenager who's always staring at me out there, but he's not around.
01:50All right, you're all right.
01:50You want to be all right.
01:52You got to watch all.
01:56Hey.
01:57Hey.
01:58How come you're not laying out by the jacuzzi?
01:59Oh, there's this creepy teenager who's always staring at me out there,
02:02but he's not around today, so what's the point?
02:06Have you seen Alex?
02:08Yeah, for like a second.
02:09She seemed really dizzy.
02:10Yeah, I think that's how she's handling the divorce.
02:13Keeping herself distracted with all these projects,
02:16like cleaning the garage, scrubbing the hot tub.
02:18Yeah, the other day she offered to make me a pair of boots.
02:20Oh, say yes.
02:21They smell weird, but man, are they comfortable.
02:26Well, I think it's great she's keeping busy.
02:28I mean, after my divorce, I was so depressed,
02:30it was all I could do to finish 11th grade.
02:34Hey, guys.
02:35Hey.
02:36Hi.
02:37What's wrong?
02:38Uh, I ran out of projects.
02:41Yeah, you still haven't made me those boots.
02:42I didn't know if you were a 7 or an 8, so, uh, I made both.
02:48Oh, man, that spatch smells even worse.
02:52Uh, look, Alex, are you okay?
02:55Yeah, I just think this divorce thing is finally getting to me.
02:58It just feels like I'll never be happy again.
03:01Yes, you will.
03:02We'll help you.
03:03Yeah.
03:03Yeah, hey, I'll take you to this comedy club I went to last week.
03:06This guy was talking about how when white people make toast,
03:09they're all butter, butter, butter, butter, butter.
03:10I don't get it.
03:18I didn't get it either, but everyone else at the club was laughing,
03:20so I figured what the hell I was.
03:26Now, you get off Powder Mountain and you never come back.
03:29Joey, you're talking to a wolf.
03:33I don't know what you want me to do.
03:35Uh, growl?
03:37Okay.
03:39Grr.
03:41Come on, give me something.
03:44I grr.
03:44Whoa, hey, whoa.
03:46The scene's not all about you.
03:49So I, uh, I got you a little something.
03:52You know, for today.
03:54Oh, uh, what's today?
03:55Oh, it's no big deal.
03:56It's just sort of our one-month anniversary.
03:58I know.
03:59Happy anniversary.
04:01Oh.
04:01Oh.
04:04Oh, my God.
04:05You got the card with the baby and the sunglasses, too?
04:08Yeah.
04:09From the liquor store down on the corner?
04:10Uh-huh, yeah.
04:11It was either this or that weird Garfield condolence card.
04:13I know.
04:14Oh.
04:15I love this.
04:16We both cared enough to remember the day,
04:18but we're both too lazy to buy a thoughtful present.
04:22To the sweetest guy I know,
04:24you're so special to me,
04:26and I'm so happy I have you in my life.
04:28Oh.
04:30You're hot.
04:33I mean that.
04:36I gotta get to work.
04:41Oh.
04:41What are you doing today?
04:42Some more head shots.
04:44Oh, I'm sorry.
04:45I know you hate doing those.
04:46It's just, it's the only work I've been getting
04:48since I moved here, you know?
04:49Except for the Spanish-language milk ad,
04:51which is the most pornographic work I've ever done.
04:54Wow, she really likes milk.
04:58So frustrating.
05:00I'll tell you what.
05:02If you're this unhappy,
05:03maybe I can, uh,
05:05maybe I can talk to my agent
05:06and see if we can find you some better work.
05:08Yeah?
05:08You'd do that?
05:09Hey, you're my girl.
05:12Aw.
05:14That'd be great.
05:16By the way,
05:17I think you're hot, too.
05:19Could have said it in the card.
05:20That's all I'm saying.
05:25Did Alex's boots stay on your feet black?
05:27Yeah.
05:28It's awesome.
05:28I don't have to wear dress socks anymore.
05:31Okay, sweetie.
05:32I'll call you later.
05:33Okay.
05:34Well, you hang up first, though.
05:35No, you do it.
05:37No, you.
05:38Okay, on three.
05:39One, two, three.
05:42I didn't hang up either.
05:46Hello?
05:46Hello?
05:46Um, Mom,
05:51would it be okay
05:52if we celebrated Mother's Day
05:53at dinner instead of brunch?
05:55Why?
05:55Just because, uh,
05:57Lorraine invited me over
05:58for brunch with her family.
05:59Why can't we all go to brunch together?
06:02I don't know.
06:02Actually, Michael,
06:03that might not be a bad idea.
06:05Introduce her to your mom now
06:06while she still thinks
06:07everything you do is cute.
06:09Yeah.
06:10You do it later,
06:11it could be a real deal breaker.
06:12So true.
06:13Loose cannon.
06:15Okay, fine.
06:16You're gonna have to meet her eventually.
06:17Just promise me
06:18you'll be nice,
06:19polite,
06:19and respectful.
06:20How about I promise
06:21not to use the F word?
06:22That's a good deal.
06:23I would take that deal.
06:31Joey!
06:33Oh, it's good to see you.
06:35I'm one day into
06:36my new life of sobriety.
06:39And it feels great.
06:42Hey, I need a favor.
06:44Oh, the pressure.
06:47Oh.
06:47Okay, listen.
06:51My girlfriend
06:51is an amazing photographer,
06:53and she's looking
06:54for more interesting work,
06:55and I thought maybe
06:56you would know someone.
06:57Oh, sure.
07:00What?
07:00My brother.
07:01He works at Newsweek.
07:03I'm sure he could fix her up
07:05with a job like that.
07:08Okay.
07:10Bobby, if you don't want
07:10to help me, fine, all right?
07:11But you don't have to be sarcastic.
07:13I wasn't being sarcastic.
07:15This is how I talk.
07:18My brother works
07:19at Newsweek.
07:22I'll give him a call.
07:24Okay.
07:24Well, that'd be great.
07:25I mean, I really,
07:26I really like this girl.
07:28We're having
07:28an amazing time together.
07:30That sounds great.
07:31The most important thing
07:33to me is that
07:34your personal life
07:35is going well.
07:37Oh, thank you.
07:39That time I was
07:40being sarcastic.
07:47Hey, Alex.
07:48I heard about your divorce.
07:50I'm really sorry.
07:51Oh.
07:52Thanks, Howard.
07:54So, I was thinking
07:55since we're both single,
07:56maybe you and I could...
07:57Oh, God.
07:58Is this my future?
08:01That's not a no!
08:02Oh, okay!
08:07Alex, come in here.
08:11I have got a tape
08:12that is guaranteed
08:14to cheer you up.
08:15Oh.
08:16What is it?
08:17Oh, it's an after-school
08:18special starring
08:19Joey Tribbiani
08:20as a Russian exchange student
08:21having a hard time
08:22fitting in.
08:25Melissa,
08:26will you go to prom
08:27with me?
08:28Sorry, Boris,
08:30but you just don't fit in.
08:32Wait.
08:32Wait, it gets better.
08:33This is where his accent
08:34turns to French.
08:35Why are you so rude to me?
08:40Oh, come on.
08:42I'm sorry.
08:43Maybe I'm a lost cause.
08:45No, you're not.
08:47Okay, look.
08:48I have to go to brunch
08:48with Michael's girlfriend,
08:49but when I get back,
08:50I promise I will find something
08:51to snap you out of this.
08:53Michael's got a girlfriend?
08:55Yeah.
08:55I'm meeting her
08:55for the first time.
08:56He's starting a relationship?
08:58I'm going to die alone.
09:02Hey,
09:03Howard likes you?
09:04Oh!
09:14So excited to meet Lorraine.
09:15She is real, right?
09:16We're not at some
09:17random person's house.
09:19Yes, she's real.
09:22Hey, Michael.
09:23Hi.
09:24Come on in.
09:26Hi.
09:26Hi.
09:28So nice to meet you, Lorraine.
09:30Oh, no, I'm not Lorraine.
09:31I'm Tanya.
09:32Oh, I'm sorry.
09:33I didn't know Lorraine had a sister.
09:34No, no.
09:34No, Mom.
09:35Tanya's Lorraine's daughter.
09:39Hey, you.
09:40Hi.
09:40Hi.
09:40Oh, hello.
09:54Well, hello there, gorgeous.
09:55Hi.
09:58I went to that Newsweek interview
09:59that your agent set me up with.
10:00Thank you so much.
10:02Hey.
10:02Come on.
10:03You're Joey Tribbiani's girlfriend.
10:04There are some perks.
10:06I can also get you Clipper tickets
10:07if you want,
10:08if you give me a couple months' notice
10:09and don't care what team they're playing.
10:12Joey, they offered me a job.
10:14Oh, my God.
10:15That's so awesome.
10:17Hey.
10:19All right.
10:20Might I suggest we celebrate
10:21with a game of erotic hide-and-go-seek?
10:23A hint.
10:23I will be on the bed
10:24and I will be naked.
10:25Good luck.
10:26Wait.
10:27The job's in Washington, D.C.
10:29They want me to move in a week.
10:38But, Sarah...
10:40You're hot.
10:50Washington, D.C.
10:52I can't believe this is happening now.
10:54We've been having such a good time.
10:55I know.
10:56The timing's terrible,
10:58but it's such a huge opportunity.
10:59I mean, it would be like
11:00if you got a chance to work with...
11:02Who's your favorite actor?
11:04Sir Anthony Hopkins.
11:08The Rock.
11:10Oh.
11:11I mean, things might be different
11:14if we were further along
11:15in our relationship,
11:16but...
11:18We don't know where this is going.
11:21Do we?
11:23Do you?
11:24Do you?
11:26No.
11:28I don't.
11:31Look,
11:32I don't want to be the guy
11:33who stands in the way
11:34of your career.
11:37So what are we going to do?
11:41I guess you should
11:42take this job.
11:46Yeah.
11:47Yeah.
11:48What do we do until I leave?
11:53I mean,
11:54the more time we spend together,
11:55the sadder it's going to get.
11:59We could have a long,
12:00drawn-out goodbye.
12:02Or we could...
12:04do the smart thing
12:05and end it now.
12:06long, drawn-out goodbye, it is.
12:19Yeah.
12:26I'm going to go get started on brunch.
12:28Can I get you a coffee?
12:29Yes, a vodka would be great.
12:30You know, I love your purse.
12:36It's very hip.
12:38I could never pull something off like that.
12:40It's too young for me.
12:41Worried about the purse,
12:42are you, Lorraine?
12:44Mom.
12:46Oh, I'm sorry.
12:48So,
12:49how did you two meet?
12:51Well,
12:51I managed the bookstore
12:53at Kel-Tec
12:53and I noticed Michael
12:54coming around a lot,
12:56even on Saturday nights.
12:57So I started to suspect
12:58that he was coming
12:59for something other than books.
13:01I was wrong.
13:03But,
13:04a connection was made
13:05and here we are.
13:06We have so much in common.
13:08I'm so very happy
13:09to have found Michael.
13:11And I'm very happy for you.
13:13After all,
13:13all the best men
13:14of your generation
13:15were lost to war.
13:17Okay.
13:18Um, Mom.
13:19No, Michael,
13:20it's all right, really.
13:22Gina,
13:22I know why my age
13:23might make you feel uncomfortable,
13:25but Michael and I
13:27have a really nice time.
13:29We go to museums.
13:31We take nature walks.
13:32We, uh,
13:33we watch
13:33Cagney and Lacey
13:34reruns together.
13:36How's that vodka coming, Tanya?
13:41Bobby,
13:41you got my girlfriend
13:42a job in Washington, D.C.?
13:44I can't believe you.
13:45What were you thinking?
13:46That's what you wanted,
13:47to get rid of her.
13:50No, I don't want her to move.
13:52I really like her.
13:53I told you that.
13:54I gotta be honest.
13:56I probably only listen
13:57to half the things
13:58you say to me.
14:01Then I just say stuff
14:02to keep the conversation moving.
14:05What?
14:06Are you serious?
14:07That sounds great.
14:08Let's do it.
14:09I can't believe
14:13you're so rude to Lorraine.
14:15I thought I was
14:16very respectful.
14:17You asked her
14:17if she was in the movie
14:18Cocoon.
14:21You look me in the eye
14:22and tell me she doesn't
14:23look like Jessica Tandy.
14:26She's 45, Mom.
14:27God.
14:28She's old.
14:31That's what's wrong
14:33with her.
14:34Boy, I didn't see
14:35that one coming.
14:36You know,
14:37I slept with a woman
14:38twice my age once.
14:39She's one of my teachers.
14:41I got an A in that class.
14:43That's how they caught her.
14:46I'm not sleeping with her.
14:47Besides,
14:47what does it matter
14:48how old Lorraine is?
14:49I like her.
14:50What's wrong
14:50with women your own age?
14:51They're so immature.
14:52They don't know what they want.
14:53They're always playing
14:54these games, you know?
14:55With Lorraine,
14:55I get to skip all that.
14:56She knows who she is.
14:58She doesn't have time
14:59for any of that nonsense.
15:01That's because
15:01she's gonna die soon.
15:12Hey, Joey.
15:13I'm looking for something
15:13to cheer Alex up.
15:14Do you still have
15:15that singing plastic fish?
15:16That was supposed to sing?
15:19It scared the hell out of me.
15:21I smashed it with a hammer.
15:24I was really counting
15:25on that fish.
15:26Oh, don't worry.
15:27Just go downstairs,
15:28check your email.
15:29I sent you a video
15:29of a cat going to town
15:31on this dude's crotch.
15:35Hey, are you okay?
15:37You've been up here all day.
15:38I'm just bummed about Sarah.
15:40I can't believe
15:40I'm losing her
15:41to a stupid magazine.
15:43Joey, why don't you
15:43just ask Sarah to stay?
15:45I can't do that.
15:47We're not far enough
15:49into this thing.
15:50Well, why don't you
15:52move the relationship forward?
15:54Like how?
15:55Ask her to move in
15:56or something?
15:57No, not that.
15:58That's too big.
15:58But have you told her
16:00that you love her?
16:01No.
16:03I mean, I've only said that
16:04to a woman once before
16:05and it blew up in my face.
16:07We were living together.
16:08She was pregnant
16:09with my best friend's baby
16:10and she ended up with him.
16:13Yeah, that didn't blow up
16:14in your face.
16:18Joey, I mean,
16:19the only thing that matters
16:20is do you love Sarah?
16:21I don't know.
16:23I don't know.
16:24Maybe.
16:25I think so.
16:26Boy, if it was me,
16:27I'd roll the dice and say it.
16:29If not, you're always gonna wonder
16:31if saying it would've kept to here.
16:32Maybe you're right.
16:39I know I don't tell you this often,
16:40but it's really nice
16:42to have someone here
16:43I can share my feelings with.
16:44It means a lot to me.
16:46You can't tell Sarah you love her,
16:48but this vagina monologue
16:49just pours out of you.
16:51Good talk.
17:01Michael, what are you doing here?
17:03Oh, I really wish you'd called.
17:05Boy, you got another man
17:06over here or something?
17:08Michael.
17:10What, you do?
17:14We make out
17:15and it's just on to the next young stud?
17:16Baby, that the hot tub is cooling off.
17:21Professor Breitweiser.
17:22Hello, Michael.
17:24So what?
17:24You think you can just move in
17:25on my girlfriend, huh?
17:26This is awkward.
17:29Well, I hope it won't affect your decision
17:31to be my research assistant.
17:32If by assisting you mean falsifying data
17:34to justify your half-baked theses,
17:36then sure, sign me up.
17:38Michael, please.
17:38There's no need to attack anyone's data.
17:42Spencer, can you give us a minute?
17:44Of course.
17:45Okay.
17:46Lorraine, what's going on?
17:49I guess I should have told you about Spencer.
17:51But I thought that you knew
17:52that what you and I had,
17:54that it could never be that serious.
17:57Why not?
17:58Because I'm a lot older than you.
18:01I mean, I'm older than your mother.
18:03It's not your fault my mom was a slutty teen.
18:08I'm sorry, Michael.
18:09I love being with you.
18:11But if you want a serious relationship,
18:13then you need to be with someone
18:15more your own age.
18:16So, I'll see you at the bookstore?
18:24I think I'll take my business elsewhere.
18:29We're having a sale on physics textbooks.
18:32I'll see you Monday morning.
18:34I'll see you Monday morning.
18:45Sarah?
18:47Hi.
18:48Okay, look.
18:49I have something to tell you,
18:51and it's...
18:51it's not the kind of thing
18:53that's easy for me to say, so...
18:55I know you want this job.
19:04And I don't know
19:05if this is going to change anything,
19:06but before you go,
19:09I want you to know that...
19:11I may be falling.
19:14No, I am falling.
19:17I mean...
19:18I...
19:23I love you, too.
19:26You do?
19:28Yeah.
19:30Hey, that feels nice.
19:35This is so awesome.
19:37So, are you going to stay?
19:42You're not.
19:44Is it because I didn't actually say it?
19:46Because I can get there, I swear.
19:48Oh, God.
19:50God, this is so confusing.
19:52I mean, I love you.
19:54And you love me.
19:55And I want to stay with you,
19:57but this job...
19:59God, it's just...
19:59It's the kind of work
20:00that I've always wanted to do,
20:02you know?
20:03I mean, I don't know
20:05what I'm supposed to do.
20:06Move in with me.
20:09What?
20:09Yeah, you want to know
20:10where this is going?
20:11That's where it's going.
20:11Move in with me.
20:13Joey, that's huge.
20:15Uh-huh.
20:18There's no way
20:23this is not going to make you laugh.
20:25For the fifth day in a row,
20:26that angry squirrel
20:27has kept Howard
20:28from getting to his car.
20:29Ah!
20:32Oh, Gina,
20:32I appreciate this,
20:34but you can't force me
20:35to be happy.
20:37When I'm ready
20:37to laugh again,
20:38I will.
20:38Hey.
20:42Hey.
20:43Well,
20:45Lorene dumped me.
20:47Oh, my God,
20:47what happened?
20:49She's seeing another man.
20:51Oh, honey,
20:51I know you thought
20:52if you dated someone
20:53who was more mature,
20:54you'd get to skip
20:54the hard parts,
20:56but you can't.
20:57Even with a woman
20:58who's 45.
20:59You're dating
21:00a 45-year-old woman?
21:03I was until she started
21:05seeing Professor Breitweiser.
21:07Professor Breitweiser?
21:08How old is he?
21:11I don't know,
21:1265, 70?
21:15Yeah, you laugh,
21:16but Professor Breitweiser
21:17gets all the women.
21:18Ever since he got
21:19his hip replaced,
21:20he's been unstoppable.
21:24Oh, that's perfect.
21:27I'm not going to die alone.
21:28I have you.
21:32Nice down!
21:33Yes, sir!
21:38Potم crucify this!
21:42Well,
21:43I know,
21:44I know I've noticed
21:46the band
21:49ofKen Paul from here
21:50but then I себе
21:52open instead.
21:53I'll see you.
21:54Oh,
21:55there's nothing.
21:55Listen to me.
21:56I have to hide a bit.
21:57I know.
21:58It helps me.
21:58We'll come here with
21:59my foot cualits
22:00and then it helps me
22:01to the middleiler.
22:03I know I think
22:03I'm sorry
22:05enough.
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