- yesterday
When Joey goes to Hollywood to pursue his dream of being an actor, he meets his nephew Michael and ends up sharing a unique camaraderie with him.
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Short filmTranscript
00:01Joey, get out here.
00:03Beautiful women have been coming out of that apartment for like an hour.
00:06An hour? Well, why didn't you get me?
00:08I was stuck in the hot tub. I didn't want them to see my legs.
00:20Well, hello there, gorgeous.
00:22I don't have chicken legs.
00:30Michael, this is like a dream. Pitch me.
00:36On the arm. Who goes for the ass?
00:39I gotta see what's going on in there.
00:51Hi there. Hi. Can I help you?
00:53Yeah, I live across the way and I would like to join whatever club is meeting here.
01:00There's no club. Those are my clients. I'm a photographer.
01:03Wow. I love erotic photography.
01:07I didn't say erotic.
01:09Definitely heard someone say it.
01:11Uh, I'm Joey.
01:12I'm Sarah.
01:13I'm Michael.
01:14Leave.
01:17It's amazing to me that you're a photographer.
01:19I mean, you are so beautiful. You should be in front of the camera.
01:23Wow. You really came out swinging.
01:26Okay, okay. Let me try a different approach.
01:28Uh, I saw a flower this morning and I thought it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen until I gazed upon you.
01:38Right.
01:40Listen, I really appreciate the effort, but you don't have to work so hard.
01:43If you want to ask me out, just ask me out.
01:46What?
01:48Just ask you?
01:49Yeah.
01:50Watch this.
01:51Do you want to go out Saturday?
01:52Yeah.
01:53Great. We have a date.
01:54Wait, wait, wait.
01:56I didn't even compliment your eyes.
01:58I know. My father must have been a thief because he stole two stars from the sky and put them in my eyes.
02:02I did not know that one. That's good.
02:07Pick me up at eight.
02:11Huh.
02:12Hey there.
02:13You know, I saw a flower this morning and I thought it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen until I gazed upon you.
02:24Really? Thank you...
02:27Okay, so I'm Not Crazy.
02:30com
02:31Come on.
02:32Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-
02:37Everything's gonna be alright
02:39I'm alright y'all, alright y'all
02:41You wanna be alright, but you gotta watch all
02:44Everyone's gonna be alright, man
02:47Everything's gonna be alright-
02:49I'm alright y'all, alright y'all
02:51You want to be all right, you gotta watch all.
02:53Yeah, you're all right, you're all right.
02:56You want to be all right, you gotta watch all.
03:02Hey, guys.
03:04Whoa, sexy new underwear there, huh?
03:08You can tell?
03:09When I was a kid, I wished for a superpower.
03:11That's what I got.
03:14So what's the special occasion?
03:16Well, my husband's going to be home tomorrow,
03:17so Gina took me to get some sexy undergarments.
03:19And it's a good thing I did,
03:22because she was wearing cotton granny pants.
03:26It's going to be really great to see him.
03:28He's been gone for, like, two months.
03:30That's a long time to be away from your man.
03:32You guys ever try phone sex?
03:34Yeah, I'm not very good at that.
03:36I tend to laugh too much and over-describe the room.
03:41Hey, you rented the apartment to that new girl?
03:43Nice job. Thanks for giving me a hot one.
03:46I thought you two might have sparks.
03:47I miss Melrose Place.
03:49Well, I got a date with her Saturday night.
03:52I mean, she lives right across the courtyard.
03:54What if it doesn't work out?
03:55That could be so awkward.
03:56Please, there is no awkward situation
03:58I can't smooth over or run from.
04:02Okay?
04:03But I got to say, this girl's a tough one.
04:04None of my normal lines work on her.
04:06I'm going to have to bring my A-game.
04:07And, uh, what is your A-game?
04:11Uh, well, I take her to this restaurant
04:13where the maitre d' knows my name
04:15and makes a big fuss over me.
04:16Then he seats us at a table
04:17where she can't miss my headshot
04:19hanging on the wall.
04:20Oh, how embarrassing.
04:22Right?
04:23Then at some point during the evening,
04:25I have one of my famous friends
04:26send over a bottle of wine.
04:28Maybe Bobby Duvall.
04:29So?
04:30Or Celine Dion.
04:30Oh, yeah, I could see that working.
04:38Excited about your date tonight?
04:40Oh, yeah.
04:40I called the restaurant and set everything up.
04:42Oh, who are they going to say sent the wine?
04:43Well, I went with Alan Thicke
04:44and Lou Diamond Phillips.
04:46Yeah.
04:47I like the idea that they're friends.
04:50Hey, Joey, how you doing?
04:52Hey, Eric, welcome back.
04:53Thanks, thanks.
04:54Hey, honey.
04:54Hey.
04:57Oh.
04:57So when was the big reunion?
04:59That was it.
04:59He just got home.
05:00Really?
05:03After two months?
05:04What are you doing out here talking to me?
05:06Get in there and make up for lost time.
05:07Joey, it's the middle of the day.
05:09We couldn't do that.
05:11Could we?
05:12I guess we could.
05:14I think I'm going to.
05:15Atta girl.
05:16Don't let that new thong go to waste.
05:20Amazing.
05:20Through corduroy?
05:21You are going to love this place.
05:31The food is great.
05:32The only problem is they tend to make a fuss when actors come in.
05:36Oh, I'm not a big fan of actors.
05:39You don't like actors?
05:40No.
05:41They're so self-absorbed and need so much attention.
05:43But they're America's royalty.
05:45Mr. Triviani, welcome.
05:50That was a very good show last night.
05:53Yes, Tony.
05:53I also enjoy The Apprentice.
05:56Right this way, please.
05:58I've saved a very special table for you.
06:05Thanks.
06:11So, do you like sports?
06:16What is that?
06:17Is that you?
06:17Is that your headshot?
06:18No, that's not what this wall means.
06:21I ate the 96-ounce steak.
06:26As did Bernadette Peters.
06:31Joey, what's going on here?
06:34Okay.
06:35I wanted to impress you, all right?
06:37So I brought out my A-game.
06:38You know, all my best moves, my best lines.
06:42You don't need to do that with me.
06:43Okay.
06:44Maybe we should just order.
06:46Yeah, okay.
06:52You know, I'd order the pizza, but I haven't had a decent one since I moved here from the East Coast.
06:55Me neither.
06:57Everybody recommended this place called Mario's.
06:59I went there.
07:00It was awful, right?
07:02Oh, so bad.
07:03I had to go someplace else and eat a whole other pizza just to get the taste out of my mouth.
07:09I'm lucky my mom sends me pizza from home.
07:11Wait, where are you from?
07:12Philadelphia.
07:13I love your sandwiches.
07:16Mr. Tribbiani, compliments of Alan Thicke and Lou Diamond Phillips.
07:24Interesting pairing.
07:30So, can I get you some wine?
07:36Compliments of Vanilla Ice and Tom Skerritt.
07:40Nice.
07:41Sure.
07:41These are great.
07:49Did you, did you take all these?
07:50Yeah.
07:52That one I took in Burma.
07:54That little girl was selling gum on the street.
07:58Her eyes were so melancholy, yet so full of hope.
08:01Couldn't get her to smile, huh?
08:08Eh, what are you gonna do?
08:11You have a very interesting face.
08:13I can see why you became an actor.
08:16Might have a photographic.
08:17Uh, okay.
08:19Have a seat.
08:32Joey, don't pose.
08:33Gotcha.
08:38I'm not getting a sense of who you really are.
08:40Well, but what if this really is who I am?
08:46Listen, you know what?
08:47Let's just take a break.
08:48We'll have some wine, and I can do this later.
08:49Sounds good.
08:52Hey, I wasn't ready.
08:54No, this is great.
08:56But I'm not doing anything.
08:58Hey.
08:59Just relax.
09:01Be yourself.
09:02Well, look, if I was with any other girl running my A-game,
09:19I would lean in and kiss you right now,
09:22but I'm not sure what to do here.
09:27Well, this camera thing is my A-game?
09:29So why don't I make this easier for you?
09:41I may borrow heavily from this in the future.
09:54Good morning, everyone.
09:56So I take it your date with Sarah went well last night?
10:00It was really nice, yeah.
10:01She's not like other women I've dated.
10:04I mean, we didn't have sex,
10:06but I still feel like a connection was made.
10:09Is that shallow?
10:12Hey.
10:13Hey.
10:13Hey.
10:14How was it having Eric back?
10:15Oh, it's great.
10:16It's good.
10:17It's a challenge.
10:18It's hard.
10:20Really?
10:21What's wrong?
10:21I guess I've forgotten what it's like to live with somebody.
10:24Uh, it's a compromise, yeah.
10:26It's taken me and Michael months to get everything just the way I like it.
10:31Yeah, it's different with Eric here.
10:33Like, I was doing a crossword this morning,
10:35and the clue was TV lawyer Ali blank,
10:38and he said McBeal.
10:39I mean, I'm a lawyer, and I'm spunky.
10:41I think I know who Ali McBeal is, okay?
10:45I'm sure being back must be an adjustment for him, too.
10:47Oh, yeah, especially since now he suffers from this horrible affliction called jet lag.
10:53You may not have heard of it,
10:54because apparently my husband is the first person ever to have it.
10:59Um, I've had jet lag.
11:01It can be pretty bad.
11:02He was in Cleveland!
11:06Okay, so he's bugging you.
11:08Have you tried to talk to him about it yet?
11:09Uh, no.
11:12The way I was raised, we didn't talk about our problems.
11:14When my mom was upset with my dad,
11:16she'd just go to the tennis pro and work on her game.
11:20Trace came back so happy.
11:21It must have been Diego's relaxed island attitude.
11:27Yeah, that's probably it.
11:28But still, you know, maybe, maybe you and Eric should talk.
11:32Yeah, you're probably right.
11:34Okay, I'll try.
11:35Trust me, it'll help.
11:36I mean, when I first moved in,
11:38I had a big problem with Michael's snoring.
11:40But then we talked about it, and it got better.
11:43Talked about it?
11:45You put cotton balls in my nose and duct taped my mouth shut.
11:51And we worked it out.
11:59Hey.
12:00I just want to stop by and thank you
12:02for all the Philly cheesesteaks you sent over.
12:04I think 30 sandwiches are going to last me a while.
12:07I know it sounds like a lot,
12:08but the cheesesteak is a very versatile snack.
12:11Lunch on the go?
12:12Cheesesteak.
12:13Tired after racquetball?
12:15Cheesesteak.
12:15Can't find a baby gift?
12:17Cheesesteak.
12:18Well, I really appreciate it.
12:20Hey, your neighbor across the way
12:21does something nice for you.
12:22You want to say thank you?
12:24Cheesesteak.
12:25Yeah.
12:26You know, Joey, I've got to tell you,
12:28you're not exactly who I thought you'd be.
12:30Do you want to go out again tomorrow night?
12:33You're just asking me?
12:35I mean, I want to, but I...
12:36I think I'd like you to work a little harder.
12:39Okay.
12:42If I could rearrange the alphabet,
12:45I would put you and I together.
12:48Where do you get this stuff?
12:52See you tomorrow night.
12:52Okay.
12:53Well, look at that.
12:56I just got asked out on a date.
12:58You really like her.
12:59I do.
13:00In fact, I like her so much,
13:02I'm going to do something I've never done before.
13:03I am not going to date any other women
13:05until I see Sarah again.
13:09You're going out with her tomorrow.
13:10That's like 24 hours.
13:12I know.
13:13That's three very disappointed ladies.
13:16I mean, if Sarah sees me with another girl,
13:18she might feel weird.
13:20I mean, she's right over there.
13:21You see, now this, this,
13:23is why I don't date girls within the building.
13:24Okay, buddy.
13:36Uh, you working on dinner yet, hon?
13:39It's only three in the afternoon.
13:40Ah, geez, what can I tell you?
13:42I'm on Cleveland time.
13:46Oh, God, I got the lag.
13:48Bad.
13:52You have to say something.
13:53I don't know.
13:54Oh, honey, on your crossword,
13:56you missed an easy one.
13:57Sesame Street character, blank monster.
14:00That's cookie.
14:04Okay, we have to talk.
14:06Uh, you know what?
14:07I'm going to give you two some privacy.
14:12Honey, you know that I love you.
14:18But I'm not used to having you around.
14:20And there are some things
14:22that have been bothering me.
14:23I'm so sorry.
14:25I just, you know,
14:25I know I haven't been myself,
14:27but I'm just so tired with the...
14:28Jet lag.
14:29Yes.
14:30Um, funny you should mention that,
14:32because one of the problems
14:33is that you've been talking a lot about that.
14:36Oh.
14:37Oh.
14:37Uh, well, I didn't realize.
14:39Um, I'm sorry.
14:41And, please,
14:42just let me do the crossword puzzles myself.
14:46Okay.
14:47And if you're going to use the exercise bike,
14:49maybe just throw some shorts on.
14:50Are those two squirrels doing it again?
14:54Shh.
14:57Alex is finally getting everything off her chest with Eric.
15:00And I really don't appreciate you critiquing me
15:02when I'm singing in the shower.
15:03Well, as a musician,
15:04it bothers me when you sing off key.
15:07As a musician,
15:07it also bothers me that you never shave your legs.
15:11Well, as a lawyer,
15:12it bothers me that your family sucks.
15:15Well, you know,
15:16when you...
15:17Will you please tell them to get out of there?
15:31Hey, Michael.
15:32Look at Sarah out there reading.
15:35Oh, well.
15:36Every diamond has its flaws.
15:40Whoa.
15:40Check out that stripper-looking girl wandering around.
15:43Stripper-looking.
15:44She is a stripper.
15:46I met her at the...
15:46Oh, God!
15:47She's here for me!
15:49You know how I'm not dating anyone because of Sarah?
15:51Well, I canceled my lunch, my dinner,
15:53but not my backup.
15:54I forgot about the backup!
15:56Damn, I can't even remember her name.
15:58Tammy, Terry...
15:59Wait, why is she over there?
16:02Well, she's clearly lost.
16:04She's going to ask Sarah where I live.
16:06Something with a T?
16:06What are you doing out there?
16:09Okay, I need your help.
16:10All right, what can I do?
16:11Okay, I need Sarah to think
16:12that something with a T is here for you.
16:14Okay, so go out there, get her,
16:15and walk her back here.
16:17This doesn't really play to my strengths, Joey.
16:19I don't lie well.
16:21I don't deal with women well.
16:22I don't walk particularly well.
16:25It's from the hot tub to the apartment.
16:26Fifteen feet.
16:27Come on, Michael.
16:28You can do this.
16:29I believe in you.
16:30There's no other option.
16:31If there was, would I be asking you?
16:39Hi.
16:40You remember me, right?
16:41I'm Michael, Joey's nephew.
16:43Yeah, hi.
16:43Hi.
16:44So that's my date.
16:45I'm here for her, and she's here for me.
16:50There's a connection there.
16:52It's exciting, but I'm really not sure where it's going.
16:56Excuse me.
16:57I'm looking for an apartment.
16:59Do you know where...
16:59I live?
17:00Yes.
17:01Right there.
17:03It's me.
17:04Who are you?
17:05Who am I?
17:06I'm Michael, your lover.
17:09My what?
17:10What's going on?
17:11Nothing's going on.
17:12It's just, uh...
17:14It's, uh...
17:14Man down!
17:15Man down!
17:19Go to your room and think about what you did.
17:26Ladies, before I commit to a path here,
17:29what is the situation as everyone understands it?
17:32Well, if I were to guess,
17:34I would say that this nice woman...
17:37Charlene.
17:38Wow, was I off.
17:41Charlene was here for a date with you
17:42when you had Michael come out
17:43to pretend that she was here for him.
17:46That's...
17:47That's...
17:48That's not what this is.
17:50Then what is it?
17:53Uh...
17:53Uh...
17:55You're in trouble.
18:00See you later, Joey.
18:02Sarah, wait.
18:05Charlene, look, I'm gonna have to cancel, okay?
18:07I really need to go deal with her.
18:09Okay, call me, Joey.
18:11Well, you're game.
18:20Hey, listen, Sarah,
18:21I am really sorry about that,
18:23but you should know I made that date with Charlene
18:25before I even met you.
18:26I'm not upset that you had a date.
18:28I don't care that you see other women,
18:29but you lied to me and put on that stupid show.
18:32Just be honest, Joey.
18:34It's the most important thing.
18:35So to summarize,
18:39I can see other women?
18:41Yeah, I get that you're a type of guy who dates a lot.
18:44I'm okay with that.
18:45Are you serious?
18:47We went out on one date.
18:48How inappropriate would it be for me to be jealous?
18:50Very!
18:52Mom, you are so cool.
18:55This is gonna work out great.
18:57Hey, Sarah.
18:58Hey, Rick.
18:59Hey, we better get going if we're gonna make that movie.
19:01You know what?
19:01I just need a minute,
19:02so just make yourself at home.
19:04Sure.
19:10So, you date, too?
19:12Is that okay?
19:12Yes, of course.
19:14It's awesome.
19:14I love it.
19:16All right.
19:18Cheese steak.
19:20See?
19:21Having a date with another dude.
19:22Cheese steak.
19:23Hey!
19:29How'd it go with Sarah?
19:30Well, she's not mad at me.
19:32In fact, she doesn't mind if I see other women.
19:34Oh, that's great.
19:35Kind of.
19:38Yeah, she's actually with another guy right now.
19:40You okay with that?
19:42Not really.
19:45Feeling a little jealous.
19:47Not something I've experienced much,
19:48don't care for it.
19:52Well, we did it.
19:55Eric and I talked.
19:56We screamed a bit.
19:58We got everything out in the open.
19:59It was pretty intense.
20:00Look, Alex, I'm sorry,
20:01but can we talk about this another time?
20:03I'm going through some stuff right now, okay?
20:05There's a guy over there
20:07with his hands all over my cheese steak.
20:11Eric and I are getting separated.
20:17That's bigger.
20:18Excuse me.
20:31Yeah?
20:32I saw a flower this morning.
20:35And I thought it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen
20:38until I gazed upon you.
20:39Wow.
20:42Would you like to go and get some coffee?
20:44Okay.
20:49Oh, God.
20:50Your legs.
20:52I gotta go.
20:58Damn you, chicken legs!
21:02Place them!
21:03It's so good!
21:04You're back!
21:04No.
21:12Bye.
21:12No.
21:12I just, I just nailed it.
21:23Bet on.
21:24No.
21:24No.
21:26Bye.
21:26Bye.
21:27Bye.
21:27Bye.
21:27Bye.
21:28Bye.
21:29Bye.
21:30Bye.
21:30Bye.
21:31Bye.
21:32Bye.
21:32Bye.
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