- 7/11/2025
When Joey goes to Hollywood to pursue his dream of being an actor, he meets his nephew Michael and ends up sharing a unique camaraderie with him.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00I'm getting pretty good at this parallel parking.
00:11It's not what this is, but okay.
00:16You know, it was, uh, it was fun sightseeing with you.
00:19How'd you know where all those celebrities lived?
00:21I've done some light stalking in my day.
00:25Oh, look at this poor guy.
00:27He's got like ten tickets and a booth.
00:29I've seen this car here. It's been here for like a month.
00:32Who leaves that car like this?
00:33Well, whoever he is, he's a big fan of mine.
00:35He's got a stack of my headshots in the front seat.
00:38Joey, when you bought your new car, you did return the rental, right?
00:51Nope.
00:52Yeah.
00:57Come on.
01:01Yeah.
01:02Everything's gonna be all right.
01:04Right?
01:04Right.
01:06You wanna be all right.
01:07You gotta watch.
01:08Come on.
01:09Everybody's gonna be all right.
01:11Everything's gonna be all right.
01:14I'm all right.
01:14Right.
01:15You wanna be all right.
01:17Hey, what are you doing here so early?
01:30I just had to get out of that salon.
01:31I hate work so much.
01:33I knew I should have been a corrections officer like that test said.
01:38You still having problems with your boss?
01:39Yeah, Victor is such a creep.
01:41He's always standing over me and criticizing me and telling me what to do.
01:45Like mom with a mustache.
01:46Have you seen mom lately?
01:50Why do you work at a job that makes you crazy, mom?
01:53Easy, college.
01:54In the real world, work isn't always a picnic.
01:56Oh, please.
01:57You make pretend for a living.
02:00Uh, I have done my time in the trenches.
02:02Oh, yeah? Doing what?
02:04Digging!
02:06What other job do you do in a trench?
02:09Oh, I just wish I had my own place.
02:12This way, instead of working for this horrible boss, I could be the horrible boss.
02:16Oh, yeah, you'd be good at that. You're always telling us what to do.
02:18Yeah.
02:19Michael, don't sit so close to the TV. You'll go blind.
02:22Yeah, or, uh...
02:23Hey, Joey, get your hand out of your pants.
02:26Or, Michael, tell Joey to get his hand out of his pants.
02:30Well, so why don't you open your own place?
02:32Because I don't have the money.
02:33Well, you must have some.
02:35I did.
02:36Now I don't.
02:39Oh, all right, I gotta get going back there.
02:42See ya.
02:43Hi.
02:44God, she seems miserable. I wish there was something we could do to help.
02:48You could give her some money.
02:49Start her own salon.
02:50I meant, like, buy her a cake.
02:53Oh, come on. I mean, you gotta have some money saved up.
02:55I do, yeah.
02:56But that money's a safety net for me.
02:58And besides, it's not a good time for me to be spending money.
03:01I'm in a new city.
03:02I don't have a job.
03:03I got $1,200 in parking tickets
03:05from a car I still haven't returned.
03:09But what if it's not a great time right now?
03:12I mean, you know, it's not like you have to give her all your money.
03:13Look, Michael, I can't dip into my savings, all right?
03:16There are harsh realities to being an actor.
03:18That money is specifically set aside
03:20in case I ever lose my looks.
03:22What?
03:23Why?
03:24I mean, even if you turn ugly, you're such a great actor.
03:26You still get tons of work.
03:29That is weak, dude.
03:37I cannot wait for my entire body to feel what my feet are feeling.
03:42How many hours of the day do you spend in here?
03:44Well, my record is nine, but, uh,
03:47I was passed out for five of them.
03:49Oh, one of the kids lost his little military men.
03:55Sergeant Dropkick!
04:00So, Eric's coming home tonight.
04:02Your husband?
04:03Oh, great, great.
04:04I finally get to meet him.
04:05He's been gone so long.
04:06I know, but now his orchestra's playing in town.
04:08Oh.
04:09What instrument does he play?
04:10The viola.
04:11Lynn.
04:15Violin.
04:15Thanks.
04:18Listen, about Eric, there's one tiny problem.
04:21Um, I mentioned my new pal Joey to him,
04:23and I got the impression that he was a bit threatened.
04:26Come on, by me?
04:27Yeah, well, I told him about the two of us hanging out,
04:30and I guess he thinks it's weird,
04:31his wife doing stuff with a single guy.
04:34That's ridiculous.
04:35I've always had women friends,
04:36and there's nothing sexual about it.
04:38I love the way women think.
04:41I love the way they laugh.
04:42I love the...
04:43I love their soft hands.
04:45I love the small of their back,
04:46the curve of their...
04:48Oh, I see why he'd be upset.
04:51But it's not like anything would ever happen with us.
04:54And it's a little insulting.
04:55Like, I can't handle a couple of weeks alone.
04:57Like, I can't go that long.
04:58Like, I just gotta have it,
04:59and any man will do.
05:02Alex, it's nothing to be ashamed of.
05:04I do not have to have it.
05:07I don't.
05:09Okay, look, he'll see that there's nothing between us,
05:11and that he has nothing to worry about,
05:12and he'll be fine, right?
05:14Absolutely.
05:14Yeah, and a little tip.
05:16Maybe, just maybe,
05:17if you knew the name of the instrument he played,
05:19he might not feel so threatened.
05:21No, I know what a violin is.
05:24There you go.
05:31Hey, Gina.
05:32Sorry I'm late for lunch.
05:33Oh, it's okay.
05:34I'm just finishing up here.
05:36So, uh, where's this Victor guy
05:37you keep complaining about?
05:38Oh, around lunchtime,
05:39he either goes to the gun shop next door
05:41or it's strip club on the corner.
05:42Nice neighborhood, by the way.
05:45Well, tell me about your day.
05:46I'm bored stiff here.
05:48I just found out that Alex's husband
05:49thinks it's weird that we hang out.
05:51Well, it is a little weird.
05:52I mean, a married woman and a single guy.
05:55Uh-uh.
05:56Not okay.
05:58Oh, you speak English.
06:02Five years.
06:06Look, you guys hanging out would be okay
06:08if you knew her before she was married,
06:10which she didn't,
06:12or if you were friends with him as a couple,
06:14which you're not,
06:15or if you were gay,
06:17which would be okay.
06:19Will you stop with that?
06:21He's an actor.
06:22The lines are blurred.
06:25What, so you're saying
06:26I can't be friends with Alex?
06:27No, just maybe lay low
06:29while her husband's around.
06:30Otherwise, he's gonna be threatened by you.
06:31You're a good-looking guy.
06:34Yeah, I guess you're right.
06:37Sometimes I wish I was only an eight and a half.
06:39Gina, I had some bad news.
06:45No paycheck tonight.
06:47All money from register
06:49went down strippers' panties.
06:53Who is this?
06:54This is my brother.
06:55He's visiting me.
06:56Oh, I forgot.
06:57This is not a salon.
06:58This is Victor's house for family reunion, huh?
07:04I'll get out of here.
07:05Okay.
07:05Okay.
07:09A magazine is only for customers.
07:16So is the chair.
07:21So is floor.
07:22Oh, come on!
07:39Hey.
07:42Hey.
07:43By the way, the rental car's still there.
07:48That's what this is for!
07:51Oh, hey, I went by your mother's salon today.
07:53I met her boss.
07:54Pretty horrible, huh?
07:55Yeah.
07:56The guy's like a Russian Joseph Stalin.
08:01I can't believe she has to work there.
08:04Well, there is a way to fix that.
08:06Give her some money.
08:07Oh, Michael, I don't know.
08:08No, but just think about everything she's done for you.
08:10She found you this place.
08:12She made it into a home.
08:14If the situation were reversed, she'd do it for you in a heartbeat.
08:20Yeah, that's true.
08:21And it would just be a loan.
08:22I mean, she'd pay you back.
08:24In fact, she'd probably let you name the salon.
08:27Ooh.
08:30The hair place.
08:31The hair up there.
08:32No, no, no.
08:33Captain Fabuloso's cave of hair.
08:34Okay, okay, let's do it.
08:39Really?
08:40Yeah, yeah.
08:41It's the right thing to do.
08:41Oh, God.
08:42Can I call her and have her come over so we can tell her?
08:44Yeah, yeah, yeah.
08:45I'm just gonna take a quick dip in the hot tub.
08:46So, say, two, three hours.
08:48All right.
08:52Okay, time for relaxation, man.
08:54You've earned it.
08:55Evening.
08:58Sorry, I'll try back later.
09:01No, no, no, no, no.
09:01Come on, there's room in here for both of us.
09:03Uh, not the way I hot tub.
09:07All right, well, I'll try not to keep you and your men waiting long.
09:13Whoa, whoa, whoa.
09:13These, these things are mine.
09:15I don't know.
09:19Thanks.
09:20So, I haven't seen you around here before.
09:23But, my orchestra's been on tour.
09:25Oh, you must be Eric, Alex's husband.
09:29I'm, I'm Joey.
09:34You're Joey?
09:39Oh, thank God.
09:44Man, that is great.
09:45Yeah.
09:47What?
09:48No, it's just that Alex said she'd been spending a lot of time with you recently,
09:52and, uh, I was just, I was, I was expecting something else.
09:54That's all.
09:55Look, it is really great to meet you.
09:56Oh, hey, you too.
09:57Yeah.
10:00Uh, so, we're good?
10:03Oh, yeah, we're good.
10:07Why are we good?
10:09What the hell is that thing for?
10:10Hey, so, Mom's on her way over, and I'm looking at the commercial real estate listings,
10:22and she's like, hey, do you find me threatening?
10:23Not until this very moment.
10:26Alex tells me her husband is paranoid, I'll steal her away.
10:29Then, he meets me, and suddenly, everything's fine.
10:33Well, maybe he just thinks you're not Alex's type.
10:35Please, I've done it lots of times where no one was anyone's type.
10:37He doesn't think I'm good-looking.
10:43I can't believe this.
10:44I'm about to give away my lose-my-looks fun, and now I'm actually losing my looks?
10:50Joey, you look great.
10:53I mean, it was just the other day you were up on that stepstool,
10:55and I couldn't help admiring your calf muscle.
10:58I kind of knew you were looking.
11:02It's me.
11:03Oh, great.
11:03I can't wait to tell her about the salon.
11:04Whoa, whoa, whoa.
11:05Why do you get to tell her?
11:06Because you get to name it.
11:07Oh, that's right.
11:10I'm really trying to imagine what's so important that I can't wait till after Jag.
11:16All right, come on, Mom.
11:18Sit down.
11:20There's something we want to tell you.
11:22Oh, my God.
11:23Jag got canceled?
11:25Oh, sit down.
11:26Sit down.
11:28Here.
11:29What's this?
11:30What's this?
11:31It's a loan.
11:32It's not that much, but hopefully it's enough to get you started.
11:37Get me started with what?
11:39Captain Fabuloso's Cave of Hair.
11:44Mom, it's for your own salon.
11:47Oh, my God.
11:49Are you kidding me?
11:51Oh, no, no.
11:51This is too much.
11:52No, no, no, no.
11:53We want you to have it.
11:55But this must be all the money in your lose-your-looks fund.
11:59Oh, thank you.
12:00Thank you so much.
12:02And I'm going to cash in my savings bond, too, which I know it's not a lot of money, but
12:06it's yours.
12:07Oh, honey, you are so sweet, but I cashed that in, like, five years ago to help paint
12:10your braces.
12:13I didn't have braces.
12:15You guys are the best!
12:23Hi.
12:23Hey.
12:24I'm going to go to my room and study.
12:25What are you going to do?
12:26Well, I'm luring Alex's husband over here with a pretend maintenance problem, because
12:30he's the super, but my real plan is to prove to him that I'm sexy.
12:33We lead very different lives, you and I.
12:46Hey.
12:46Hey.
12:47Uh, so there's some kind of problem with the fireplace?
12:49Yeah.
12:49The flu seems to be all blocked up, and I was hoping to light a fire.
12:54It's 80 degrees out.
12:56Uh, well, I'm always chilly.
12:58I have very, very, very low body fat.
13:01Yeah, well, me too.
13:03Actually, I'm about 11%.
13:05What about you?
13:05Zero.
13:09Okay, I'll just, I'll check out the fireplace.
13:13Oh, would you, look what someone left lying around.
13:18Soap opera digest from 1997.
13:22Look at that.
13:24Huh?
13:25Most sexy newcomer, Joey Tribbiani.
13:28Who writes this fluff?
13:31That's an old photo, too, back from my modeling days.
13:34You were a male model?
13:36Yeah, well, I was, yeah, but I was, uh, run out of the business for being too promiscuous.
13:46Say, you, uh, you look like you could use a hand now.
13:48Uh, no, no, I'm good, actually.
13:49Oh, either way, either way.
13:50Maybe I'll just roll up the old pant leg and lend a hand.
13:55Oh, it barely, barely fits over my muscular calves.
14:01Look.
14:05Okay, all right.
14:06I, I see what's going on here.
14:08You're gay.
14:09What?
14:10No.
14:11But if I was, I'd be attracted to myself.
14:13Well, here's your problem.
14:23How on earth did a water newspaper get up there?
14:26I don't know, but, uh, it's today's paper.
14:32Honey, Bill just called.
14:33Rehearsal got moved up an hour.
14:35Oh, jeez, I better get a move on.
14:36I'll hold dinner.
14:37Oh, no, no.
14:38Um, oh, have it with Joey.
14:39And I opened a great bottle of wine.
14:41Don't let it go to waste, all right?
14:42And Joey, be careful, okay?
14:44When she drinks, she will want to dance for you.
14:46Oh.
14:48Okay.
14:50So do you want to come up?
14:50What the hell was that?
14:51Oh, okay.
14:53Your husband isn't threatened by me at all.
14:56Oh, well, that's great.
14:57No, it's not.
14:58Why isn't he?
14:59Uh, maybe he thinks you're not my type.
15:01Okay, I did not want to have to do this, but take a look.
15:06What?
15:06Why doesn't he think I'm a threat?
15:08I don't know, but if it'll make you feel better,
15:10I guess I could ask.
15:11Yeah, do that.
15:12As soon as he's done playing his viola.
15:13Damn it!
15:14Now you got me saying it.
15:23Now this is a nice space.
15:25Good street traffic.
15:26There's great parking.
15:28Look, there's already plumbing for a bunch of sinks.
15:30We could put those over here.
15:31God, there's so much room.
15:32You could practically roller skate in here.
15:34How good are you at cutting hair on skates?
15:36So what do you think of it?
15:39Oh, it seems nice.
15:41Nice?
15:42Oh, Gina, this is definitely the best place we've seen.
15:44And once you sign the lease, you can order the equipment
15:46and start hiring people.
15:47And then you can fire people.
15:49And you'll actually have the authority to do it.
15:51Not like that time we went to Home Depot
15:52and you started firing anyone who wouldn't wait on you.
15:57I mean, you've not even said yes to this place.
15:59You need to have me hiring employees.
16:00Well, yeah, there must be room for like six stylists in here.
16:03Oh, they're going to have to learn how to skate, too.
16:07Sick stylist.
16:08That's a big operation.
16:10Mom, you just got to use a little imagination.
16:12We're going to paint the walls, okay?
16:14We'll put some new tile down.
16:15You're kind of throwing a lot of stuff at me.
16:18Oh!
16:19If we put mirrors on this wall
16:21and mirrors on this wall,
16:23then the bird and the fish can look at each other.
16:28Bird and fish?
16:29Captain Fabuloso's a pirate.
16:31Ah!
16:33Mom, I think we should take this place right now.
16:37Because if we don't, someone else will.
16:38Maybe I should sleep on it.
16:40Come on, you've got to make a decision.
16:42I can't do this right now.
16:43I've got to go.
16:48What did we do?
16:51Ah, you know what?
16:53I bet she wants this to be her place
16:55and we're totally telling her what to do and taking over.
16:58Well, I guess that's true.
17:01You guess.
17:02Come on, dude.
17:03Some of your ideas are pretty stupid.
17:12Hey, Alex.
17:13Hey.
17:14So, uh, did you talk to your husband?
17:16Did he tell you why he's not threatened by me?
17:18Oh, yeah, let's just forget about that.
17:21You did talk to him.
17:23I want to know what he said.
17:24Maybe he thinks I'm too attractive.
17:26He thinks you can never get a guy like me.
17:29No, and wow.
17:31No, wow.
17:32Then what?
17:34Okay, well, he thinks you're goofy.
17:38Goofy?
17:38Well, he makes snap judgments about people
17:42and he saw you as this out-of-work actor
17:44who sits in the jacuzzi all day and plays with toys.
17:46They're not toys.
17:47They're heroes, but...
17:49Okay, all right.
17:52Well, uh, great.
17:53Mystery solved.
17:54Uh, uh, good to know.
17:56I'll-I'll-I'll talk to you later, okay?
17:57Wait, don't wait.
18:00You don't think that he's right,
18:01that you're goofy, do you?
18:02Well, I want to say no, you know,
18:04but then I look at these drawings of dragons
18:06I was doing all day, and...
18:08But that's sweet.
18:14And there's much more to you than what he sees.
18:17I mean, you're so good.
18:21I see how nice you are to everyone in the building
18:24and to your nephew,
18:25and you gave your sister money to start her own business.
18:29How'd you know that?
18:30The walls are thin and I'm a little nosy.
18:34And it's not just the way you treat other people,
18:36it's the way you treat me.
18:39What do you mean?
18:41You always ask me about my day.
18:43You know I'm lonely, so you include me in stuff.
18:46And to be this sweet and as great-looking as you are,
18:49my husband may not be threatened,
18:50but maybe he should be.
18:54But more than anything, you're just goofy.
18:56Yeah, yeah, I got the dragons to prove it.
18:58Yeah.
19:04Come in.
19:07Okay, look, Gina, we just came by to say that we're sorry, all right?
19:10We're throwing a lot of ideas at you.
19:12Some of them were good, some of them were Michael's,
19:14but we just want you to know that we are going to back off.
19:17Yeah.
19:17From now on, the salon, it's your project.
19:19Yeah, yeah.
19:20You won't be getting any more input from us.
19:22Although it would be cool if the fish was a Japanese fighting fish.
19:24Okay, I'm done.
19:25Guys, that's not why I was upset.
19:31And what was it?
19:33It's just, I don't want my own salon.
19:37Hey, Gina, look.
19:39I know what it's like to start something new.
19:41When I moved out here from New York, I...
19:43Oh, I cannot hear this again.
19:44People move all the time.
19:45Get over it!
19:51Wow.
19:52Does seem to come up a lot.
19:55The point is, it's natural to be scared.
19:59I am not scared.
20:01Just that when we were looking at that place today,
20:02I realized I don't want to start my own business.
20:05You don't?
20:06No.
20:07It sounds like a lot of work.
20:09I mean, don't you realize this is the first time since you were born
20:12that I haven't had a ton of responsibility?
20:15And don't get me wrong.
20:16Raising you was the best thing I ever did, but it was work.
20:19I thought you said I was a really easy kid.
20:21Honey, the therapist told me to tell you that.
20:25Look, I appreciate what you guys are trying to do,
20:28but at least you helped me realize that I'm too good to work for Victor.
20:31I am going to quit.
20:33Hey, that's great.
20:33Good for you.
20:34It's awesome.
20:35I know.
20:36I just finished writing my letter of resignation.
20:38Oh.
20:40Huh.
20:40You think dumbass should be hyphenated?
20:42Well, when it's followed by that word and that word,
20:47I wouldn't worry so much about the punctuation.
20:50Oh, Joey, you should know that I got a couple of different job leads,
20:53and as soon as one pans out, I'll give you back most of your money.
20:56Yeah.
20:57Most?
20:58Oh, enough about me.
20:59How are you handling the move from New York?
21:01Oh, I thought you would never ask.
21:03I did it.
21:09I am finally done with the rental car.
21:13You paid all the tickets?
21:14Uh-huh.
21:14You got the boot taken off?
21:15Yep.
21:16And you returned it to the right place?
21:17Yes and yes.
21:19I am taking off this string.
21:23Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
21:28What the hell is this one for?
21:32Press down!
21:33It's still there!
21:33It's still there!
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