- 7/11/2025
When Joey goes to Hollywood to pursue his dream of being an actor, he meets his nephew Michael and ends up sharing a unique camaraderie with him.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01All right, so here's your schedule for today.
00:04And listen, you got a letter from a fan with a naked picture in it.
00:07I'm gonna need to see that.
00:09I pre-screened this one. It's pretty rough.
00:12Glenn, if a fan of mine went to the trouble to...
00:18Wow, he's hairy.
00:21Hey. Hey.
00:22Hey, sexy. Hey.
00:26As her boyfriend, um, I'm actually gonna take that one.
00:29Really?
00:31Sexy?
00:35Okay.
00:36Uh, where were we? I'm gonna call you.
00:38Right, so, oh, your sister Mary Theresa called.
00:40She's all set for a visit this weekend.
00:42Ugh, that is this weekend.
00:45I can't stand her.
00:47Wait, I can never keep my Tribbiani women straight.
00:49Mary Theresa's the one with the mustache, right?
00:51No, no, that's Cookie.
00:53Or Tina.
00:55Chesa Marie. Grandma.
00:57Mary Theresa is the fancy one.
01:00She thinks she's so much classier than me.
01:02Gina, she's family.
01:03All right, she'll stay here with me.
01:05It'll be fine, okay?
01:06I know how to control the Tribbiani women.
01:08There's a trick with each one of them.
01:09Veronica, food.
01:11Dina, shoes.
01:12Cookie, four, maybe five police officers.
01:14Oh, yeah?
01:16What trick do you use on me?
01:18You think I could trick someone who looks that good
01:20and has an adult son?
01:22A son who's a genius.
01:26Aw, you guys.
01:32Mom, they just told you...
01:33Mike?
01:34Oh, my God!
01:35Oh, my God!
01:41Come on!
02:12I just checked the board. Mary Teresa's plane is here.
02:14Why are you so excited? I don't get why everyone treats her like she's so special.
02:17She's the baby in the family.
02:19No, Tina's the baby.
02:21But they're only nine months apart.
02:23Wait, weren't all you guys nine months apart?
02:25Yeah, Mom was in a medical journal.
02:28You know, I don't even think I'd recognize Mary Teresa if I saw her.
02:31Oh, she'll be the one talking about her swimming pool.
02:33I bet she mentions that pool three times before we get to the car.
02:36I'll take that bet. How much?
02:38$21.99.
02:39The exact cost of a case of Rolling Rock?
02:41That's right.
02:42I can't believe this is taking so long. I've got to get home.
02:45There's a girl meeting me at the apartment.
02:47Hey.
02:48No, no, she's delivering something for my aquarium.
02:50I bet she is.
02:53No, no, she works at the fish store on Pico.
02:56Yeah, she does.
02:57Okay.
02:59Seriously, stop.
03:00Oh.
03:02Oh, there she is.
03:03There she is.
03:04And the moral of that story is I love my pool.
03:07Hey, Mary Teresa.
03:12Joey, my celebrity brother.
03:15And Michael.
03:16What a good-looking man you've grown up to be.
03:20And Gina.
03:20Are you okay?
03:25I'm tall and can eat whatever I want.
03:27So, yeah, I'm doing okay.
03:28So, uh, how was your flight?
03:31Oh, the stewardess said the funniest thing to me.
03:33She said, where did you get that giant ring?
03:37Oh, you got engaged.
03:39Walter proposed last week.
03:41It was so romantic.
03:42We were out by the pool.
03:45He got down on one knee.
03:47You see, Gina, ordinarily when a man proposes,
03:50Dad isn't holding the back of his neck saying, do it.
03:55Dad's face was pretty red.
04:01Hi, honey.
04:02Yeah, I just landed.
04:04No, no.
04:04The switch for the patio lights is inside the pool house.
04:07That's three pay up.
04:09No, I don't think that one counts.
04:11Judges?
04:11That's a pool mansion.
04:12Well, I appeal.
04:13Denied.
04:13Ah!
04:19Wow.
04:20I love your place.
04:21How many square feet is it?
04:22Oh, I don't know.
04:231,600.
04:24That's so funny.
04:25I just got a new Mercedes.
04:29Anyway, uh, yeah, you're gonna stay here.
04:31The couch pulls out, so.
04:32Oh, Joey.
04:34I can't sleep on a pull-out couch.
04:37Isn't my big brother gonna let me take his room?
04:40Come on.
04:40You're not seven anymore.
04:41That's not gonna work.
04:43Pretty please.
04:45I love it.
04:46Get up there.
04:47Hello.
04:54Hey, you.
04:55Ha, ha.
04:56You tracked me down.
04:59Look, I was gonna call you, but I lost your number.
05:03Oh, Joelle, you're here.
05:04Great.
05:05Hey, Michael.
05:06I've, uh, got the blacklight for your aquarium.
05:08Oh, you're the fish store girl.
05:12I thought you were someone I slept with and never called back.
05:18Okay.
05:19So some girl shows up and you just assume you've hooked up with her?
05:24Well, it happens a lot.
05:26It's kind of hard to keep track.
05:27Oh, okay.
05:29We haven't.
05:30No!
05:30You are missing out.
05:35So thanks for bringing this over.
05:36You know I could have just come by the store to pick it up.
05:38Oh, it was nothing.
05:39Besides, I wanted to see where you live.
05:41Why is a hot girl flirting with Michael?
05:44It's not very nice.
05:45And I have no idea.
05:46So, um, where is the aquarium?
05:51It's in my bedroom.
05:52Ooh, can I see it?
05:53Ooh.
05:56Um, I'd rather not.
05:57It's sort of my private space.
05:59Oh.
06:00Well, thanks for coming by.
06:02Oh, well, if you give me your number, I'll, um, I'll call you when the tigerfish come in.
06:06Oh, that's all right.
06:07I don't want to end up on a mailing list or anything.
06:08I'll just call you at the store.
06:13Uh, what the hell was that?
06:15What?
06:15It looks like you have an admirer.
06:17Yeah, right.
06:19Now, if you'll excuse me, me and my black light are going to go blow some vicious minds.
06:26That explains why Michael didn't get all nervous around that girl.
06:29He has no idea she's into him.
06:30Well, you should tell him, and then you should give him some pointers.
06:32No, no, no.
06:33I've tried.
06:33Every time I get involved, I put too much pressure on him, and he blows it.
06:37I need to just leave him alone.
06:39But he's your nephew.
06:40Look, Alex, the best thing I can do is just live my life in a sexual manner and hope he learns by example.
06:45Oh, good.
06:47The maid's here.
06:49Hola.
06:49We are out of towels.
06:51How'd I jump in the hot tub?
07:02Anyone care to join me?
07:04Gina, can you even go in since you got those things?
07:06Of course I can.
07:11In two more months.
07:15Look at us.
07:17When we were kids, who would have thought you'd end up on a big primetime show,
07:20and I'd end up engaged to the second most successful waterbed salesman in Bergen County?
07:26The second most successful?
07:27Oh, there's no shame in that.
07:29Mr. Waterbed is an institution.
07:30All right, well, uh, I'm gonna go inside.
07:35Oh, would you put my ring in your safe?
07:37Uh, I don't have a safe, but, uh, I'll keep it right here in my pocket.
07:41It'll be fine.
07:45My body repels engagement rings.
07:51Joey, hit the switch.
07:52I want to show you guys my black light.
07:53Okay, sure.
07:54Wow, this reminds me of Studio 54 in the 70s.
07:58Yeah.
07:59Well, you were, like, ten years old.
08:01So?
08:03No.
08:05Well, this is weird.
08:07How come the stones in your bracelet are all lit up, but Mary Teresa's ring isn't?
08:10Under shortwave UV light, only real gemstones will glow.
08:14Wait a second.
08:16Does that mean her diamond is fake?
08:18Oh, God, please let me have this.
08:19I never ask you for anything.
08:20You always ask me for stuff.
08:26Don't do that.
08:27You sound just like him.
08:30Wait, you know, this isn't glowing at all.
08:32This thing's fake.
08:33Is it?
08:34Oh, happy day.
08:36I can't wait to tell her.
08:38Oh, no, you cannot tell her.
08:40Why?
08:41Are you always trying to protect her?
08:43This is my chance to prove to her she is not fancy.
08:46You're just gonna hurt her.
08:47What do you say in the game?
08:49I get to hurt her.
08:50It's really something, isn't it?
08:55It is.
08:57Walter won't tell me how much it costs, but he said I was worth every penny.
09:01Oh, he's right.
09:02You truly deserve this.
09:08I think I'll have some wine before dinner.
09:10Oh, I'd offer some to you, Gina, but I'm guessing you're already drunk.
09:17Hey, I may drink, but at least I'm not dating someone who is constantly being mistaken for
09:21one of the three stooges.
09:22Yeah, the best looking one, Mo.
09:24I know why you're being so petty.
09:28You're just jealous.
09:29Because I have Walter, who buys me lovely things like this.
09:33Buys or digs out of the cereal box.
09:35Okay.
09:36Why don't you two stop criticizing each other and criticize other members of the family,
09:41huh?
09:41Like, what about Tina?
09:42Huh?
09:43What do we hate about her?
09:44Oh, she is pretty dumb.
09:47Yeah, remember when we told her that jelly beans were diet pills?
09:51Ah, she got so fat.
09:54And then when we told her that jelly beans were birth control pills?
09:57Oh, she got so pregnant.
10:00She might be the dumbest trippiani.
10:02Oh, yeah.
10:02See, this is what I wanted.
10:04You guys get along.
10:06Look at us, hanging out, having fun.
10:09No one's talking about Gina's drinking or Mary Teresa's fake ring.
10:12This is great.
10:14My fake what?
10:17I'm dumber than Tina.
10:23I can't believe my ring isn't real.
10:26When am I going to find out next?
10:27That you're not the second largest waterbed salesman in Bergen County?
10:31Fourth?
10:33Oh, I have to go to the bathroom so bad, but I don't want to leave.
10:37Well, you don't have to worry about how much a wedding's going to cost,
10:39because there isn't going to be a wedding.
10:41And I'm keeping the Mercedes.
10:42At least!
10:46That's so bad.
10:47Why'd I have to tell her about the ring?
10:48No, it serves her right.
10:49Maybe she'll learn not to fall for guys just for their money.
10:51Her whole life she has gone from Walter to Walter.
10:54Wasn't there a David in there?
10:55Oh, jeez, you are worse than Tina.
10:58I was speaking metamorphically.
11:04Well, screw you, Walter.
11:05Oh, and I have news for you.
11:07Since I've been here, I've been sleeping on a conventional mattress,
11:09and I love it!
11:10Well, you were right.
11:15The ring's a fake.
11:17Oh.
11:18It's not even cubic zirconia.
11:22It's part of a pirate's costume.
11:23Hey, hey, you're going to be okay?
11:32You're with family, and we are going to help you get through this.
11:35Right, Gina?
11:36Mary Angela, you are not going to believe what just happened.
11:38Gina!
11:40I'll call you back.
11:43I have nothing to go back to.
11:44What am I going to do?
11:46Hey, this could be good.
11:47You know, your whole life you've always had someone like Walter to take care of you,
11:50and maybe this could be a chance for you to stand on your own.
11:54You're right.
11:56I don't need a rich husband.
11:57There you go.
11:58I have a rich brother.
12:00There you go.
12:02I'm going to stay here, and you're going to take care of me now.
12:08Did I just become...
12:12You sure did, Walter.
12:21Hey.
12:22Hey.
12:23Where's Mary Teresa?
12:24I have her laundry.
12:26You did her laundry?
12:27Well, she thinks I'm the housekeeper.
12:29I don't like conflict.
12:30Just please don't tell her that I speak English.
12:32Is that you, Alex?
12:34Un momento por favor, Miss Mary Teresa.
12:38Oh, Joelle.
12:42Come on in.
12:43What's up?
12:44Um, well, the fish food came in.
12:47And I thought that you might want to take this bottle of wine and watch the meteor shower.
12:52Maybe we could drive up to Mulholland and check it out.
12:55That's a great idea.
12:57Oh, so far so good.
12:59Oh, you know who else loves a good meteor shower?
13:01Or my friend Seth.
13:06We'll invite Seth.
13:08Wow.
13:10You know, actually, that's not what I really want to do.
13:14Okay.
13:15You brought it up.
13:21Um, so, uh, maybe I'll just see you at the store.
13:26Okay.
13:28Bye.
13:29Bye.
13:31That's weird.
13:32Everyone knows the more eyes, the better at a meteor shower.
13:35I mean, get a clue, Joelle.
13:38I'm gonna go check out the sky right now.
13:42I can't stand this anymore.
13:44That girl is losing interest.
13:46We have to do something.
13:49He will not die a virgin.
13:57Hey.
13:58The stars are amazing, aren't they?
14:00Yeah, they are.
14:02Um, but sometimes when a woman looks at the sky with a man, she doesn't want to talk about
14:07the stars, if you know what I mean.
14:12Yeah, I guess so.
14:13I'm just saying that sometimes you're not great at picking up signals when a girl is into
14:17you.
14:19Oh, my gosh.
14:20Yeah, Michael, open your eyes.
14:22Tonight, you have this opportunity to...
14:24Michael, what are you doing?
14:27Shh, shh, shh, shh.
14:30Now, Alex, that is the only kiss we can ever share.
14:33All right?
14:34I'm flattered, but you're married.
14:35I'm not talking about me.
14:39You're not?
14:40No, I'm talking about Joelle.
14:42The fish girl likes you.
14:44Yeah, right.
14:45Like, I could ever get a girl like that.
14:46She's way out of my league.
14:48Well, you just kissed me.
14:49You think I'd be into you?
14:51Well, yeah, you and I are kind of on the same...
14:52No, we are not.
15:01Oh, you went shopping again.
15:03Yeah.
15:04Here's your credit card.
15:05Thanks for letting me use it.
15:06Well, thanks for taking it out of my wallet while I was sleeping.
15:10I'm gonna go upstairs and finish redecorating.
15:12What?
15:15How was your day?
15:16Great.
15:16Awesome.
15:17I quit.
15:19What?
15:20I've worked for some difficult people.
15:22Betty White put a cigarette out of my arm.
15:26But your sister is by far the worst.
15:30Wow.
15:30I had no idea you were so fed up.
15:33You know, part of my job is pretending to be okay with people's crazy requests.
15:37So were you mad when I made you play hide-and-go-seek at the mall?
15:40Only when I was hiding and you forgot and went to a movie.
15:45I just wanted to let you know that I won't be hanging around anymore.
15:47Mary Teresa fired me as your maid.
15:51What?
15:51Yeah, she found silverware in my purse and accused me of stealing it.
15:54It was mine.
15:55I was taking it back.
15:56I don't even know how it got here.
15:58Oh, oh, we borrowed it for British night.
15:59Glenn dressed up as a butler.
16:00We made him speak in an accent.
16:02You hated that, too.
16:05You guys are so loud.
16:06I was trying to be creative.
16:07Hey, you don't work here anymore.
16:09No trabajo.
16:10Joey, check her pockets.
16:11God, she is awful.
16:16You have got to tell her to get out of here.
16:17Maybe you're right.
16:18I mean, Glenn, I don't want to lose you.
16:20And Alex, you deserve a second chance.
16:23All right, I just got to think of a nice way to get rid of her.
16:26Leave her in the desert.
16:27Push her off a bridge.
16:28Dale con un coche.
16:29Uh, sorry.
16:30Hit her with a car.
16:37So, wait, let me get this started.
16:38You're going to buy a real engagement ring, give it to her, and tell her it's from Walter.
16:42Yeah, that way she forgives Walter, goes home, and I can go back to dealing with just one crazy sister.
16:46I just can't believe you're doing this.
16:52Why does it bother you so much?
16:54Don't you want her to go back, too?
16:55Well, it's not that.
16:56It's just the way you treat her.
16:58I don't care if the rest of the family dotes on her, but you, you should know better.
17:03Are you jealous?
17:05No.
17:06I don't need any of that stuff.
17:08I can take care of myself.
17:10But, you know, every once in a while, it might be nice to be spoiled.
17:14Well, Gina, we both know that if I did nice stuff for you, you'd hit me.
17:19May I help you?
17:20Yeah, I'd like to buy an engagement ring, something cheap.
17:23But big.
17:24But cheap.
17:25But a real diamond.
17:26Yeah, yeah, but I don't care if it's cloudy or chipped or stolen from a grave, you know.
17:32May I say, you two are going to be very happy together.
17:36This is my sister.
17:38Oh, so the ring's for someone else?
17:39Yeah, yeah, yeah, my other sister.
17:40Oh, your family's perfect?
17:50Hey, Teresa, could you come down for a second?
17:52I still think this is a stupid way to get rid of her.
17:54I am not leaving her in the desert.
17:56Well, we're going to have to do mine.
17:57Glenn and Alex had ideas, too.
18:01I have something for you.
18:03A mink?
18:03A car?
18:04A pony?
18:05Don't guess.
18:06No, no.
18:07It's from Walter.
18:09Walter?
18:09That's right.
18:10He wanted you to have this.
18:13Oh, Walter, it's so beautiful.
18:17Wow, it really is.
18:19But he lied to me.
18:21He used to win me back.
18:23I mean, where's the speech?
18:24The big gesture?
18:26Well, when Joey was on the phone with Walter, there was a speech that went along with the ring.
18:31I can't believe he did it without the speech.
18:32Do the speech.
18:33Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, right.
18:39Walter told me to say some stuff.
18:41He said that he wanted you to know that he loves and cherishes you, that you are the most special woman in the whole world, and he cannot wait to spend the rest of his life with you.
18:55Oh.
18:58Dan, maybe I'll just keep the ring and stay here.
19:00What?
19:01Wait, no!
19:02Help me.
19:07Mary Teresa, I am very relieved you are not going back to him.
19:12I have always been so jealous of you.
19:15If you married Walter, it would just drive me crazy.
19:18Really?
19:19Yeah.
19:20If you're not going to go after him, then I just might have to go after him myself.
19:25I might just have to marry Walter and finally be fancier than you.
19:30I will swim in your pool.
19:33Never!
19:36You can't have him.
19:37I'm marrying Walter.
19:39Oh, I have said too much.
19:41No, I've lost him.
19:44I'm going to go call Walter and tell him I'm coming home.
19:47Do you have to go?
19:48I mean, if you do, there's a 7 o'clock flight.
19:51I better go pack.
19:53I wish I hadn't fired Alex.
19:54I mean, she was a thief, but man, could she fold?
20:01Aw, you going to be okay now that your favorite sister's gone?
20:04Gina, she's not my favorite sister.
20:08No.
20:11I picked you up a little something at the store.
20:15It may be the world's smallest diamond.
20:19Aw, you shouldn't have done that.
20:24I love you, too.
20:29Would you be offended if I tested it under the blacklight?
20:31No, no, I'm curious myself.
20:32It was pretty cheap.
20:37You know what?
20:39If Joelle's into me, I'm going to call her.
20:41You're calling another woman?
20:42Alex is right here.
20:45You said you were going to stop making fun of me.
20:47Yeah, I lied.
20:49Okay, I got her machine.
20:50That's good.
20:50Okay.
20:50Hi, Joelle.
20:52This is Michael.
20:54So, look.
20:54My neighbor was just telling me that I was missing a few signals earlier and that she wanted to go out with me.
21:00So, uh, I think we should do it.
21:03Uh, I mean, go out and not have sex.
21:06I mean, it would be nice because I'm a virgin.
21:08Um, I mean, I'm not a virgin.
21:11I've just, I've just never been with a woman.
21:15Not that I've been with a man.
21:16I just, I just, um, he's actually getting better.
21:22Right there!
21:23Yes, sir!
Recommended
1:13:46
21:41
21:41
19:23
1:33
1:50:15
1:11:27
19:57
0:39
1:24:37
10:09
2:13
21:40
1:00
56:34
59:32
1:11:58
1:30:44
1:40:29