- 2 days ago
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00:00Piano music
00:30Anybody there?
00:39There's nobody here but us, chickens.
00:45What? What's the matter with you?
00:47What, nothing. Nothing them up with me, all right?
00:51What did you do today, Sarge?
00:53Me! I baked a lovely big cake.
00:56Did you? Well, you like doing that sort of thing, don't you, Sarge?
00:58Yes, you do. You like dabbling in the culinary arts, don't you, Sarge?
01:01Up to my elbows in flour, I was.
01:04Here, I'll bring you in a slice tomorrow night, if you like.
01:07I wouldn't do that if I were you, Sarge. I'd only throw it away.
01:11What about you, Ding Dong? What did you do today?
01:14Look, I didn't do nothing, right? Just leave me alone, I didn't do nothing.
01:18I was only asking.
01:28Look, we don't want to read and stuff. Let's have a game of bingo.
01:35Eh? I don't want to play bingo.
01:40Well, darts, then!
01:43I don't feel like a game of darts.
01:45I don't want to play darts, either.
01:46Well, I know, I know, right, I know a good game, right?
01:51Let's turn a horrible light, right, and pretend it's dark, right?
01:55So it is really dark, and then we can pretend we're blind.
01:59And then, and then, I know, I know, right?
02:02I know, we can set fire to a newspaper, that'd be a good idea, wouldn't it?
02:06I don't want to play anything. What is the matter with you today?
02:09There's nothing, nothing, nothing is the matter with me.
02:12Good God, anybody think you've raped a horse or something?
02:16Yeah, yeah, I'm not...
02:17Bastard!
02:21I didn't honestly think you could get away with a thing like that, did you, Mr Bell?
02:26Hey, did you see yourself on the news, eh?
02:29Coming out of court with that blanket over your head?
02:32Honest, thank God, you had me and the wife in stitches, of you.
02:35And when they interviewed that bloke from the jockey club
02:37who said they ought to bring back the death penalty, I...
02:39Yeah, he didn't have to get carried away, eh, didn't he?
02:41Dangling that noose in front of the camera.
02:44Poor-legged friend, poor-legged friend, here, now.
02:48Look, I do not want to talk about it.
02:50Look, Ding Dong, we can hardly forget about this, can we?
02:53I mean, this is very important.
02:55What happens when Horse of the Year show is on the telly?
02:58There'll always be reminders, Ding Dong.
03:00That's right, and what happens when they do reruns of Black Beauty, eh?
03:04Well, look, I had some kind of breakdown or something,
03:07I don't know, I don't know why I did it, you know.
03:11Well, look, you know, there was a couple of months ago, you know,
03:13I was just going home across this field, I was taking a short cut, you know,
03:17and I saw it, and I...
03:22Well, love at first sight, was it?
03:26Carter, I wouldn't continue making remarks like that if I was you.
03:29If you would continue to make remarks like that,
03:32I would be forced to jump up and down on your neck
03:34for a very long period of time.
03:36How did they catch you, lad?
03:39Well, you know, when I was doing it, you know...
03:42It was like, um,
03:45these two old ladies came by on a nature ramble.
03:47Oh, dear.
03:50Well, I tried to distract them, honest,
03:52I said, look, where's the cabbage white butterfly?
03:55You got away with a fine and a suspended sentence, though, eh?
03:58They want me to see a psychiatrist, though.
04:00They want to find out why I did it.
04:01A psychiatrist? Oh, you lucky sod.
04:05Oh, I've always wanted a go at being analysed.
04:08Ha!
04:09If you ask me,
04:10these trick cyclists enjoy upsetting people.
04:13Asking probing questions,
04:15messing about inside their heads.
04:18They'll probably put them into a gibbering idiot.
04:21Still, don't let me put you off, lad.
04:24Look, you'll be here in half an hour.
04:25Here? What?
04:26Why's he come in here?
04:28Look, they say, look,
04:29that they want to analyse me in a work environment.
04:32Look, when he's asking questions,
04:33you'll make yourself scarce, won't you?
04:34You won't hang around.
04:35No, we're not completely without feelings.
04:37Didn't I...
04:38Well, you don't half come out with some good...
04:39Do you honestly think
04:41that we are going to sit here
04:42and watch you go through the emotional turmoil
04:45of being analysed?
04:46I mean, please,
04:47grant us some sensitivity.
04:50Look, I...
04:50I don't know.
04:52I really don't know.
04:52But there must have been some reason
04:55why you carried on wetting the bed
04:57to such an advanced age.
05:04Look, I thought you said
05:05you weren't going to be here.
05:06I lied.
05:09Have I missed anything?
05:14He's still going on about
05:15when he used to wet himself.
05:16If we may continue.
05:21I'd really like you to try and tell me
05:23why you carried on
05:24wetting the bed
05:25to the age of 25.
05:27I've got a big...
05:27I've got a big bladder, haven't I?
05:30You see.
05:31Have you ever masturbated
05:33on the upper deck
05:34of a number seven bus?
05:36What number?
05:37Seven.
05:43Seven.
05:44Oh, no, no,
05:45I've not done that, no.
05:46That's not what you told me.
05:47You shut your face,
05:48McCarter.
05:49Tell him, Mr Benson.
05:51Mr Bell.
05:52Do you have many friends?
05:54Some, you know.
05:55I used to nod to this bloke
05:56when I was out
05:57walking the dog, you know.
06:00I've seen him
06:01for a couple of years, though.
06:03Do you have many friends
06:04at school?
06:06Why was that?
06:09Me ears.
06:10What?
06:10What's he saying?
06:11I can't hear him.
06:13Me ears.
06:13I used to have trouble
06:14with me ears.
06:16We used to run.
06:23Oh, none of the other kids
06:24wanted to sit next to me
06:25at school, though.
06:26I'm not surprised.
06:27Now, if we may turn
06:28to your more recent trouble...
06:30Look, look, I don't want
06:30to talk about this anymore.
06:31I've had enough...
06:32I'm afraid you must, Mr Bell.
06:33You see, one of the conditions
06:34of the court
06:34is that you submit
06:35to psychoanalysis.
06:36Now, if you refuse
06:37to cooperate with me,
06:38you'll be in breach
06:39of that order,
06:40and you could face
06:41possible imprisonment.
06:42All right.
06:43Well, can I just use
06:43one-word answers, then?
06:45Now, if it makes it
06:45easier for you, yes.
06:47Did you feel
06:48an overpowering
06:50sexual attraction
06:51to the horse?
06:51Sausage.
06:56Oh.
06:58God, he's dead, didn't he?
06:59Well, there's nothing for it.
07:01I'm going to have
07:01to hypnotise you.
07:02Oh, no, no.
07:04You're not going to...
07:05You're tired, very tired.
07:06Sleepy, very sleepy.
07:07You're asleep.
07:10I see.
07:11That was quick.
07:12Well, it's only practice,
07:13you know.
07:13Actually, I entered
07:14for the All-England Championships
07:15last year, came second.
07:17Really?
07:17Wow, that's amazing.
07:18Is he hypnotised, then?
07:21Mr Bell, can you hear me?
07:24Yes, I hear you.
07:27Oh, this is great.
07:28Get him to do a striptease
07:29or sing something.
07:31That's a very insensitive remark,
07:33I may say.
07:33So, this is not some floor show.
07:35Not a cheap trick.
07:36The point of hypnosis
07:37is to help me ascertain
07:38the state of Mr Bell's mind.
07:40Yeah, I'm sorry.
07:40Sorry, Mr Vincent.
07:42I was just checking
07:46to see if his ears
07:47weren't running out.
07:50Mr Bell,
07:51we were talking
07:53about your friends.
07:54No friends.
07:56Do you have anybody
07:57to confide in?
07:58Carter.
08:00Talk to Carter sometimes.
08:02Tell him about
08:03when I took the dog
08:05to the vet
08:05and me do-it-yourself
08:07and stuff.
08:08Yes, the conversation
08:09is quite riveting
08:10at times.
08:12Do you like Mr Carter?
08:13Noah.
08:15He's all right
08:16sometimes.
08:18Do you think
08:19he's a handsome man?
08:21OK, not bad looking.
08:23Nice legs.
08:24Attractive.
08:29Would you say
08:30he's attractive?
08:34Mr Bell,
08:35I would like you
08:36to point
08:37to the photograph
08:38of Mr Carter.
08:39Ian,
08:40what is all this?
08:41Point to the photograph
08:42of Mr Carter.
08:44Point to Mr Carter.
08:46Holy smoke.
08:53Wake up.
08:56Well, what happened then?
08:58Well, Mr Bell.
08:59I've got a lovely
08:59bunch of coconuts.
09:01Yeah?
09:01If that wasn't me,
09:02I was just checking his ears.
09:03What?
09:05So, what's your diagnosis then?
09:07Well, this is very interesting.
09:09You see, Mr Bell...
09:10I've got a lovely bunch
09:11of coconuts.
09:13He is suffering
09:14from a psychosexual illness.
09:16Now, when he committed
09:16the act with the horse,
09:18he was playing
09:19out of fantasy.
09:21Sublimating a desire
09:22felt deep
09:22in his own psyche.
09:24What are you talking about?
09:25The horse
09:26was a substitute
09:27for Mr Carter.
09:29What?
09:30He thinks I'm
09:30a bloody horse?
09:33No, no, no.
09:35So, Mr Bell is...
09:36I've got a lovely
09:36bunch of coconuts.
09:38Mr Bell is in love
09:39with Mr Carter.
09:39I've got a lovely
09:40bunch of coconuts.
09:41It's not love.
09:43No.
09:43He just wants
09:44to have sex with him.
09:48He what?
09:49Well, you heard
09:50what he said.
09:51It's buried deep
09:51within my finger.
09:53Well, then, I...
09:54She must be on for this.
09:54No, off.
09:55What do you mean, off?
09:56Off?
09:56You've got to cure him first.
09:57No, I'm afraid
09:58my brief was simply
10:00to discover
10:01why Mr Bell...
10:02I've got a lovely
10:02bunch of coconuts.
10:04...why he acted
10:05the way he did.
10:05Now, of course,
10:06if you want a solution,
10:07it's not too difficult
10:07to find.
10:08And what would
10:08that solution be,
10:09Mr Benson?
10:10Mr Bell simply has to...
10:11I've got a lovely
10:12bunch of coconuts.
10:13He simply has to act out
10:14his fantasy with Mr Carter.
10:16Oh, right.
10:16What?
10:17Have sex with me?
10:18No!
10:18No!
10:19Come on!
10:19Get off!
10:20Come on, this will only
10:20take ten minutes.
10:21I'll be able to quit.
10:22No!
10:22Get off!
10:23Come on, look,
10:23I've just got to get it
10:24out of my system.
10:25No!
10:25Well, find yourself
10:26and have a horse, then!
10:27I don't want another horse.
10:28I want you.
10:29Oh, God.
10:30Look, until I've done it,
10:31I won't be able
10:31to get back to normal,
10:32will I?
10:32Normal?
10:33You've never been normal.
10:34Come on now, Mr Bell.
10:35I've got a lovely
10:36bunch of coconuts.
10:37Look, perhaps it's this place.
10:38We should get out
10:38and go somewhere else.
10:39I could pack a picnic
10:40camp, but we could go swimming.
10:41No, I haven't got a swimsuit.
10:42We don't need swimsuits.
10:43What need we with swimsuits?
10:45We could adorn ourselves
10:46with nuts and berries.
10:46Bell!
10:47I've got a lovely
10:48bunch of coconuts.
10:49I could weave some
10:50ivy into your hair.
10:51No, it wouldn't look
10:52nice in my hair.
10:54I'm not talking
10:54about your hair up there.
10:57Stop this!
10:58No, I'm not in the mood.
10:59I've got a head.
11:01Come on!
11:02Sarge!
11:02Stop him!
11:03Stop him, Sarge,
11:04for God's sake!
11:05Sarge!
11:05Sarge, please!
11:06Sarge!
11:07Dad!
11:08Dad!
11:09How long have you
11:10had a secret desire
11:11for the Sarge
11:12to be your real father?
11:14Holy smoke!
11:17Headlights.
11:21Headlights coming
11:22towards me.
11:24Can't move.
11:27Trapped.
11:29Headlights coming
11:30towards me.
11:32Bright,
11:33blinding headlights.
11:36Well, I think
11:37we're about ready
11:37to start now,
11:38Mr. Clark.
11:39Yeah, right.
11:39Right.
11:47You're tired,
12:10very tired,
12:11sleepy,
12:11very sleepy,
12:12you're asleep.
12:13There, he's gone.
12:17Here,
12:17get him to take
12:18his trousers off.
12:23Now, now,
12:23Mr. Bell.
12:24I've got a lovely
12:25bunch of coconut.
12:27Would he have done it
12:27to me if he'd have
12:28thought of it.
12:32I want you to tell me
12:33about your ninth birthday.
12:35What do you want
12:36to know that for?
12:37I thought it was
12:37Mr. Bell.
12:38I've got a lovely
12:39bunch of coconut.
12:40Who needed to be cured?
12:42But the fact that he
12:42has a secret desire
12:43for you to be his father
12:44might have a bearing
12:45on his case.
12:47You mean that
12:48Mr. Bell
12:50is attracted
12:51to Mr. Carter
12:52because Mr. Carter
12:54wants me
12:55to be his father?
12:56Absolutely.
12:57We must follow
12:58the chain,
12:59find the root cause.
13:00If we can effect
13:01a cure there,
13:02then everybody else
13:02in the chain
13:03will be cured.
13:04Right.
13:04Tell me about
13:07your ninth birthday.
13:09Birthday?
13:11Balloons.
13:13Cake.
13:14And children.
13:15Were there lots
13:16of children?
13:16No.
13:17No.
13:18No children.
13:20And presents?
13:21No.
13:23No.
13:24He's upset.
13:26Please, please,
13:27Mr. Bell.
13:28I've got a lovely
13:29bunch of coconut.
13:30Sorry.
13:31You mean you
13:31didn't get the
13:32presents you wanted?
13:33No.
13:34No train set.
13:36Wanted train set.
13:38Went looking
13:39for train set.
13:40Upstairs,
13:42Mummy and Daddy's
13:43bedroom.
13:44Mummy and Daddy?
13:45Were they doing
13:45something on the bed?
13:47Was Daddy hurting
13:48Mummy, making a moan?
13:49Did you leap
13:49onto Daddy's back
13:50screaming,
13:51stop it, Daddy,
13:51stop it?
13:52Did you, Mr. Carter?
13:53Did you?
13:54No.
13:58I want my train set.
14:00I just wanted
14:01a train set,
14:01that's all.
14:02And I went
14:03in the bathroom
14:04and Daddy there.
14:07Only not Daddy.
14:10Not look like Daddy.
14:12Daddy wear dress.
14:18Pink dress.
14:20And I said,
14:21it didn't, you know,
14:22suit him.
14:22It was the wrong colour.
14:23He said,
14:25I should forget
14:25about it.
14:26He offered me
14:27two and six.
14:28I said five shillings.
14:30And he said,
14:30OK.
14:31And then I forgot
14:32about it.
14:35Forgot.
14:35Oh, forgot.
14:37Oh, right.
14:38Forgot about it.
14:39Forgot.
14:40Oh, hang about it.
14:41Oh, hang about it.
14:42Save yourself,
14:43Mr. Bear.
14:44I've got a lovely
14:45one to go for.
14:46Sit down.
14:48Wake up.
14:49What?
14:50What?
14:51Here.
14:52What is this?
14:52What happened?
14:54What's going on?
14:55What?
14:55Eh?
14:56Did I come up
14:57with some dark secret
14:58locked deep within
14:59my self-conscious then?
15:00No.
15:00No.
15:01No.
15:02So,
15:03your father used
15:04to wear a pink dress.
15:06That's...
15:06Oh, my God,
15:08I forgot about that.
15:10This is your fault.
15:12If you haven't
15:12raped that horse
15:13and found out
15:14you wanted to have
15:14sex with me,
15:15I'd have never realised
15:16that I wanted Sarge
15:17as a father figure
15:18because my dad
15:18wore a pink dress.
15:20Mr. Carter.
15:21Strangers in the night
15:22exchanging glances.
15:28What are you laughing at,
15:29Bill?
15:29I've got a lovely
15:30bunch of coconut.
15:31I'm not laughing
15:32at anything, Carter.
15:33Strangers in the night
15:34exchanging glances.
15:36What's...
15:36What is this problem?
15:38I mean,
15:38I'm so...
15:38You know,
15:39my dad wore a pink dress.
15:40What's that got to do
15:41with anything, you know?
15:42I mean,
15:42I'm alright.
15:43I'm normal,
15:43aren't I, Dad?
15:44Sarge?
15:44Sarge?
15:45Mr. Carter,
15:45don't you...
15:46Strangers in the night
15:47exchanging glances.
15:48Don't you see?
15:49What?
15:50You'll never be free
15:51till you confront
15:52your demons.
15:53Since that day
15:54when you first realised
15:55your father wore a dress,
15:57you've been seeking
15:57a replacement.
15:59A replacement
16:00which you found
16:00in the Sarge.
16:01You've built the Sarge
16:02into some superhuman figure.
16:04Oh, no,
16:05I wouldn't go that far.
16:06Until you accept
16:07that the Sarge
16:08is not your real father,
16:09until you relive
16:10the moment
16:11when you saw your father
16:12wearing a dress,
16:14you will never be able
16:15to live a normal life.
16:16Yeah, but my dad's dead.
16:17I mean,
16:17who am I going to get
16:18to dress up as a woman?
16:25Now, look,
16:25Mr. Carter.
16:26Strangers in the night
16:27exchanging glances.
16:29Yes, Sarge?
16:30You're going to look
16:30lovely in a Jean Muir
16:31or a Jean-Paul Gaultier
16:33or, you know,
16:34something black.
16:35I am not wearing
16:36a dress.
16:36Oh, come on,
16:37I won't ask him much.
16:38I mean,
16:38look what Belle wants me to do.
16:38I've got a lovely bunch
16:39of coconuts.
16:40You will wear that dress,
16:41won't you, Sarge?
16:42Please, Mr. Carter.
16:43Strangers in the night
16:44exchanging glances.
16:46I knew all this
16:47psychiatry business
16:48would lead to no good.
16:50I mean,
16:50hypnotism,
16:51I ask you,
16:52it's so out of date.
16:53Oh, really?
16:54What would you recommend, then?
16:55Well, good God, man,
16:57isn't it obvious?
16:58We are dealing with people
16:59who are shy
17:01in their social behaviour.
17:05Given the belts
17:06of anxiety and depression,
17:08classic examples
17:09of disillusionment
17:09hystimia?
17:10No, no, I beg to differ.
17:11I see classic symptoms
17:13of hysteria,
17:14Mr. Bell and Mr. Carter.
17:15Strangers in the night
17:16exchanging glances.
17:18I suggest we conduct
17:19a series of
17:20controlled experiments
17:22to determine
17:23the socio-economic factors
17:25on their behavioural patterns.
17:27You see,
17:28the root of the problem
17:29as I see it,
17:30Mr. Benson,
17:30is, er...
17:31What?
17:33How long have you had
17:34this secret desire
17:35to be a psychiatrist?
17:38I have never
17:39had a secret desire
17:40to be...
17:41Oh, yes, I have.
17:46I have.
17:48You're so right.
17:49Holy smoke.
17:54Another nice idea
17:55when planning
17:56your patio layout
17:58is a lichen-encrusted
18:00terracotta urn
18:02planted with tuberous
18:05begonias,
18:06strategically placed
18:08tubs and troughs,
18:10striped cords
18:11of vibrant colour,
18:13blending harmoniously
18:14with muted stone.
18:16Oh, for crying out loud,
18:18please,
18:19wake him up.
18:20Place against war.
18:21I have to know
18:22why he has a secret desire
18:24to be a psychiatrist.
18:26Three hours
18:26he's been going on
18:27about his blooming garden.
18:28He doesn't know.
18:29Wake him up.
18:30All right.
18:31Wake up.
18:34Well?
18:35Nothing.
18:35You just went on
18:36about your garden.
18:37Ah.
18:38Did I say anything
18:39about a key?
18:40No.
18:41Why?
18:41Is it important?
18:42No,
18:42it's just that I lost it.
18:44I thought I might have
18:44said where I put it.
18:45All right.
18:48One last try.
18:49Now,
18:50you're in a darkened room.
18:52A midget
18:52scampers through the skylight
18:54and says there's a man
18:55outside called Barry
18:56who wants to marry you.
18:57Now,
18:57what do you do?
18:59I fry some kippers.
19:03What's that remind you of?
19:05France.
19:06What's that remind you of?
19:07France.
19:08And what's that remind you of?
19:09A man riding a bicycle
19:10up the outside lane
19:11of a dual carriageway
19:12in France.
19:15What's he got
19:15in his back pocket?
19:17A limited edition
19:19engraving
19:19of the Pope
19:20kissing a stretch of tarmac.
19:22And what's written
19:22on the sole
19:23of the Pope's right shoe?
19:25I love Karen.
19:29Textbook answer.
19:30He's completely sane.
19:32Sane?
19:33Sane?
19:34Why does he want
19:35to be a psychiatrist then?
19:36I don't know.
19:37He probably just does.
19:39Well,
19:39I could have told you that.
19:40Look,
19:41so,
19:41is that it then?
19:42I'm afraid so, yes.
19:43You see,
19:44the Sarge...
19:44Oh, Danny boy,
19:46the pipe's a...
19:47He is the end
19:51of the chain.
19:52So,
19:52does that mean
19:53that we're all right now?
19:54Probably, yes.
19:55But you said
19:56we could only be cured
19:57if one of us
19:57acted out our fantasy.
19:59Did I?
19:59Ah.
20:00Yeah,
20:00and we haven't done that yet,
20:01have we?
20:01No.
20:01So,
20:02if the Sarge...
20:02Oh, Danny boy,
20:04the pipe's a...
20:05If he analyzes somebody,
20:06that means that we'll be all cured,
20:07right?
20:08Yes,
20:08probably.
20:09So,
20:09if you'd excuse me...
20:11Who's it going to be,
20:13Mr Carter?
20:13Strangers in the night
20:14exchanging glances.
20:16Well,
20:16I've already been done,
20:17haven't I, Bill?
20:17I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts.
20:19So,
20:19I've got a lovely son.
20:20Oh,
20:20Daddy boy,
20:21the pipes,
20:22the pipes are calling.
20:24So,
20:24So that leaves.
20:26No,
20:27no,
20:27I can't.
20:28Please.
20:30Please,
20:30no.
20:32Mr Benson,
20:33how long have you had
20:34a morbid fear
20:36of being psychoanalysed?
20:41You're tired,
20:43very tired,
20:44you're sleepy,
20:46very sleepy,
20:46you're...
20:47You're
20:49very sleepy.
20:51Oh,
20:51give it here,
20:51man.
20:53You're tired,
20:53very tired,
20:54sleepy,
20:54very sleepy,
20:55you're asleep.
21:00Well,
21:00come on,
21:01get on with it,
21:02Sarge.
21:02Oh,
21:02Daddy boy,
21:03the pipes,
21:04the pipes are calling.
21:05Where's my manual?
21:11So,
21:11what should I ask you,
21:12Mr Bell?
21:13I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts.
21:15Well,
21:15you're the one that wants to be the psychiatrist,
21:16Sarge.
21:17Oh,
21:17Daddy boy,
21:18the pipes,
21:18the pipes are calling.
21:20I know,
21:20but I don't know where to begin.
21:21I don't want to make a fool of myself,
21:23do I,
21:23Mr Cuck?
21:24Strangers in the night,
21:25exchanging glances.
21:26Well,
21:26you've got a point there,
21:27Sarge.
21:28Oh,
21:28Daddy boy,
21:29the pipes,
21:29the pipes are calling.
21:31I can't,
21:32I can't,
21:33I've lost my nerve.
21:34Oh,
21:35is there anybody there?
21:38There's nobody here,
21:39but it's chickens.
21:40I never wanted to be a psychiatrist.
21:45I never wanted to be a psychiatrist.
21:46Really?
21:47He's psychoanalising himself,
21:48that's not fair.
21:49So why did you pursue a career in it then?
21:52I don't know.
21:53Oh,
21:53come on,
21:54man,
21:54of course you do,
21:55answer me.
21:56I,
21:56I was forced into it.
21:58Family tradition.
21:59My auntie was one.
22:01So it was never your ambition to be a psychiatrist?
22:03Not my real ambition,
22:05no.
22:06Ah,
22:07so what was your real ambition?
22:09I can't say,
22:10come on!
22:11I,
22:12I always wanted to,
22:14I always wanted to.
22:17Yes?
22:18I always wanted to teach a chicken to play the mouth organ.
22:30I didn't say anything about wanting to teach a chicken to play the mouth organ, did I?
22:35Uh-huh.
22:35Yes?
22:36Dear,
22:36I'm sorry,
22:37I,
22:37I tried to keep it a secret.
22:39I mentioned it once at a psychiatrist's convention in Brighton and they said I was mad.
22:43Mad?
22:43They said you were mad.
22:45Why,
22:45you think it's all right?
22:46Well,
22:46we tried that once,
22:47didn't we?
22:48Yeah,
22:48we didn't get very far,
22:48well,
22:49that's because we didn't persevere.
22:50I mean,
22:50look at when we tried to teach that goat to ride a bicycle,
22:53you know?
22:53Oh,
22:53yeah.
22:54Because it couldn't change gear properly,
22:55you know,
22:55we lost heart,
22:56didn't we?
22:57But it's all in the past now,
22:58it's too late now.
22:59Look,
22:59where is that chicken?
23:01Here!
23:04It's here!
23:04There's the mouth log and partly concealed by a layer of straw.
23:09No,
23:09no,
23:10no,
23:10no,
23:10I couldn't,
23:11really.
23:11No,
23:12you've got to.
23:13You're the end of the line.
23:15Someone's got to act out their fantasy.
23:17But didn't he analyse me?
23:18No,
23:18no,
23:19no,
23:19you've analysed yourself,
23:20please,
23:20Mr. Benson.
23:21How much is that doggy in the window?
23:23All right.
23:25I'll,
23:26I'll,
23:26I'll give it a go.
23:28Yes!
23:29Yes!
23:31Cock,
23:31right.
23:31You do it.
23:32Good boy.
23:33Da-da-da-da.
23:34Oh.
23:40Okay,
23:41give it.
23:42Come on.
23:44Come on.
23:49Yes!
23:51Oh,
23:51yes!
23:52Yes!
23:53Yeah!
23:54Well done it!
23:55we're all cured yeah well you don't still fancy me then do you oh no I hate you
24:02again oh great great and you don't think of me as a father figure then no
24:06same prat as usual yeah well I must be off off where you going well she's not
24:12the only chicken in the world and think of all the other species of birds the
24:17barn owl the upland goose the snowy egret snowy egret why stop at the mouth
24:23organ in 20 years time I could have a whole orchestra a multitude of feathered
24:29creatures all playing a variety of instruments think of it just think of
24:34it just make sure you get a good woodwind section that's the important thing
24:39well goodbye Sarge oh daddy boy the pipes the pipes are calling goodbye mr. Benson
24:47how much is that doggy in the window goodbye mr. Benson how much is that doggy in
24:51the window goodbye mr. Carter strangers in the night exchanging glances take care of
24:56yourself mr. bow I've got a lovely bunch of coconut than you mr. Benson how much is
24:59that doggy in the window
25:02all right I'll give it back in a minute just imagine you never thought that when you rate that
25:13horse it was all because mr. Benson how much is that doggy in the window wanted to teach a chicken to
25:18play the mouth organ that's right I didn't and people say psychiatry is a load of rubbish
25:24that doggy in the window that night we met there was magic abroad in the air like an echo far away
25:44brown that night he knows that doggy is an ice cream.
25:49and hello
25:53a young increased
25:54I'm
25:57I'm
25:58he
25:59is
26:00I'd be willing to sweat
26:04But when you turned and smiled at me
26:09And I'd hear a sang in the darkly sweat
26:30But when you besoin and smiled at me
26:37I'm full of thought
26:42And I'd hear a SeraphÃ
26:48And the love you
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