- 2 days ago
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00:00.
00:30MUSIC CONTINUES
01:00Are you scared?
01:01No, no, I'm not scared. I'm not scared.
01:03Well, open it, then.
01:04You open it, then.
01:05I don't want to open it, then.
01:06I don't want to open it, then.
01:09Anyway, it's addressed to the Sarge.
01:10Look, probably something to do with his gardening.
01:14No!
01:15What are you talking about, you tit?
01:16Sarge not interested in gardening.
01:18Of course he is!
01:20The man's garden's a riot of colour in the summertime.
01:24What about those hollyhocks he bought in last week?
01:26They were in full bloom.
01:27Their perfume hung in the air for days.
01:29What are you...
01:29Seeds and things!
01:31Seeds!
01:31Seeds and things, yes.
01:33Yeah.
01:34Petunias, lobelia, geraniums.
01:36And serinans, French marigolds, dahlias.
01:38Oh, yes, yes.
01:40Put it in there!
01:41There's nobody here but us chickens!
01:44Seeds!
01:45Seeds!
01:45Seeds!
01:46Seeds!
01:46Seeds!
01:47Seeds!
01:47Seeds!
01:48Seeds!
01:48Seeds!
01:49Seeds!
01:49Get them here!
01:51Seeds?
01:51Yeah?
01:52I never ordered any seeds!
01:55Ah, yes.
01:56Wait a minute.
01:58This must be the stuff I ordered from head office in connection with that trouble we've been having.
02:04Trouble?
02:04What?
02:05You mean a spate of burglaries that have been occurring in a building of late.
02:09A series of thefts for which, as yet, there is no known suspect.
02:12Yes.
02:13That trouble.
02:14What's in them, then?
02:15Ah, now that I can't tell you, lad.
02:17All I do know is I sent head office a chitty.
02:22What?
02:23No, no, no, no, it's all right.
02:25Well, I sent in this chitty, you see, and head office sent to me...
02:31Sorry, sorry, no, sorry, what did you send to head office?
02:36All right.
02:37I told you, I sent him a chitty.
02:42God, we have some fun in this job, don't we?
02:44Well, anyway, I said get this chitty.
02:47Yes, yes, we're fed up with that bit now.
02:49Come on, open the box.
02:50God, it's something useless anyway.
02:52I wonder they ever sent us anything that was any good.
02:54Oh, well, we can but hope, lads.
02:57We can but hope.
03:03Hey!
03:04Hey!
03:12Leaving lasers!
03:14You're going to be the Sarge's dog, aren't you?
03:23Yes, you are.
03:26Just a small point, Sarge.
03:27Why?
03:28Why does it have to be your dog?
03:31Why, for example, why can't it be Carter's dog?
03:35Yeah, or Bell's dog.
03:38Why can't it be Bell's dog?
03:40Exactly.
03:41Why can't it be Carter's dog?
03:42All right.
03:44I suggest we swap.
03:48Say, every 16 minutes.
03:52Fair enough.
03:53All right, yeah, but I want the helmet first.
03:57I've always wanted my own helmet.
04:00Fair enough.
04:01But come on now, let's get on patrol.
04:03I'd keep an eye out for that burglar.
04:06Burglar!
04:06Burglar!
04:07Oh, he wouldn't mess with us, would he?
04:09Yeah.
04:09He wouldn't stand a chance.
04:10Look at us.
04:11We're unstoppable.
04:12Yeah!
04:12Yeah!
04:15Yeah!
04:16How?
04:17Yeah!
04:17Yeah!
04:18Yeah!
04:20fuckin'
04:22Yeah!
04:25Yeah!
04:25Yeah!
04:25Yeah!
04:26Oh, beholden...
04:26It was so airful and more.
04:28LESA rook inputs.
04:29Oh, my God.
04:59Oh, my God.
05:29Oi, oi, hey, hey, hey!
05:40You'll have to excuse the lads.
05:42They don't get much excitement.
05:44What happened?
05:45What happened?
05:45You faked it.
05:46I did not faked.
05:48I did not.
05:48I was practicing falling over.
05:50And me.
05:50I was practicing that as well.
05:52What are we going to do, then?
05:56What are we going to do?
05:57What are we going to do?
05:58What are we going to do?
05:59What do you think we're going to do?
06:01What are we going to do, Sarge?
06:03Well, it's a mighty way of thinking.
06:05In a case like this, there's only one thing you can.
06:09Yeah!
06:09Well, Sarge, what is the only one thing we can do?
06:16Question him.
06:16Question him!
06:17Question him!
06:18Yeah!
06:19Bagsy, me first, me first.
06:21Right, what shall I ask him?
06:22Well, ask him something relating to the matter in hand.
06:25I will.
06:26I will.
06:27I will ask him something relating to the matter in hand.
06:30Right.
06:31Go on, then.
06:31Right.
06:34Who starred in a 1955 film Cast a Dark Shadow?
06:41Dirk Bogart.
06:42Well, thank you very much.
06:45You wouldn't give me five minutes to think up a decent question.
06:47I feel a right prat now.
06:48Come here.
06:49You haven't a clue, lad.
06:51You were supposed to ask him something relating to the matter in hand.
06:55Let me have a go.
06:55All right, bonehead.
06:56See if you can do any better.
06:57Oh, I will.
06:58I will do better.
07:00Yes.
07:01Let's see now.
07:02Ah, yes.
07:07Where does the hermit crab lay its eggs?
07:12You what?
07:13Don't claim to claim, lad.
07:14Where does the hermit crab lay his eggs?
07:17The hermit crab lays its eggs.
07:19Yeah.
07:19The hermit crab, right, lays its eggs in a...
07:22in a...
07:23in a duff...
07:24duffel bag.
07:26Is that a fact?
07:28I never knew that.
07:32Pathetic.
07:32Come here.
07:33You're supposed to ask him something related to the matter in hand.
07:37I'll have a go.
07:38Right, aye.
07:38I know.
07:41What's your favourite position for sexual intercourse?
07:43I'm not answering that.
07:46Come on!
07:47What is it?
07:48My knees.
07:49What?
07:49Knees bent.
07:50What?
07:51Knees bent.
07:52What?
07:53Knees bloody bent!
07:56Pervert!
07:57Aye, look, I've had enough.
08:00Call the police, will ya?
08:01Oh, no, lad.
08:03We haven't finished yet.
08:05We haven't finished our questioning, not by a long chalk.
08:10We've got all night.
08:12We don't stop work till seven in the morning.
08:15Yeah.
08:16Yeah.
08:20Please!
08:21No more!
08:23I can't take it anymore!
08:26Please call the police!
08:30Stop!
08:31Comb.
08:32Yeah.
08:34Matchbox.
08:35Yeah.
08:36Camera.
08:37Yeah.
08:38Packet of condoms.
08:39Yeah.
08:40Sort of plastic thing.
08:43Sort of plastic thing?
08:44Sort of plastic thing?
08:45What?
08:45You would not be referring to a credit card buying charts, would you?
08:49Yeah, that's it.
08:49Credit card.
08:50No!
08:51Of course, there's no credit card.
08:53See?
08:53That'll teach you to know about Dirt Bogart.
08:56Just call the police!
08:58Here, sirs.
08:59Take a photo of me and Carter with him.
09:00Carter!
09:01Come on.
09:01Oh, all right.
09:02All right.
09:02Come on.
09:03Come on.
09:03Come on, yeah.
09:06Watch the diggy, Bert.
09:08Take prison.
09:10Please!
09:11I'll risk the bleeding!
09:13What say we take a break, eh, lads?
09:15I'll risk the bleeding!
09:16Yeah, well, I suppose we could untry him for a bit, eh?
09:23Well, as long as he doesn't get up to anything.
09:25No, he's not going to mess with us now, is he?
09:27I mean, look at us, eh?
09:29We're no fools.
09:30I'm a long way from home.
09:47Yeah, yeah.
09:50Where do you live, then?
09:51Where do I live?
09:53I sleep rough, don't I?
09:55Haven't got home.
09:56Well, I haven't got no one.
09:58Und was sind deine Mutter und Vater?
10:02Ich hab keine Mutter und Vater.
10:05Kein Zuhause, kein Mutter und Vater.
10:07He should be an advisor.
10:11I ain't vision, kid.
10:14Yeah, an orphan.
10:17My mum died when I was seven.
10:18I never knew my father.
10:20What?
10:20Didn't you know anything about him?
10:23Well, he left me this.
10:26Sort of like a love token.
10:28Whoever's got the other half of that photo,
10:31he's my dad.
10:31Who is this supposed to be, then?
10:38Cochise.
10:39You?
10:40Are you deaf?
10:41He's talking about Cochise.
10:43Leader of the Chiriquois Apaches.
10:47Oh, yeah?
10:47And what do you know about it?
10:55Dad.
11:01Tell us about it.
11:21No, I don't want to.
11:22It's past.
11:23It's history.
11:24Oh, all right, then.
11:24I was ten miles from Sausalito
11:30when I pulled into the Bates Motel.
11:35A roadside joint
11:36just like any other roadside joint
11:37you'd ever seen.
11:39Hell, I'd seen a million of them.
11:42I ordered orange juice,
11:43eggs, bacon, coffee,
11:44lots of coffee.
11:47I sat looking through the window
11:49at the Negro kid
11:50pumping gasoline
11:51into the cars opposite.
11:53And I got to thinking about me.
11:54My life.
11:56How I hadn't amounted to much.
11:57Hell,
11:58I was never going to amount to much.
12:01Then,
12:02all that didn't matter anymore
12:03because suddenly I saw
12:04her.
12:06Her.
12:09She had a sulky look to her
12:11and her lips stuck out
12:12in a way that said,
12:13kiss me.
12:16We were together, what?
12:17Five, six hours?
12:19That's a lifetime when it's right.
12:21And this,
12:22this was right.
12:24Two lonely people
12:25drowning in each other's arms.
12:28When the sun came up,
12:29I got on the ford
12:30and headed south
12:30with the hood down.
12:33She was watching me
12:34from the window
12:35of her apartment.
12:36I didn't look back.
12:37I guess,
12:43I guess I never did make it
12:46to Sausalito.
12:49What did you do then?
12:50I went down to Nondrette.
12:55And that's all you've got
12:56to remind you of
12:57your dear mother, eh?
12:59She did leave me
12:59a couple of other things.
13:01Hmm?
13:02She left me this.
13:03So whoever's got
13:09the propeller for that,
13:10who's my dad?
13:11What?
13:12Some sort of glider,
13:13is it?
13:14That's no glider.
13:16That's a...
13:17It's a Sotwith camel.
13:21Dad?
13:22Look, er,
13:24it was a long time ago,
13:25you know,
13:25I haven't been
13:26youth hostelling for ages.
13:29Tell us about it.
13:30No, I don't want to.
13:31It's past,
13:31it's history.
13:32All right, then.
13:41I was about five miles
13:43from Dorky.
13:46I'd just finished
13:47the last of my
13:48Kendall mint cake
13:49when I saw
13:51her.
13:56She was wearing
13:57a pink cagoo.
13:58She'd been having
14:00a bit of trouble
14:01with the two-man
14:02pup tent.
14:04So, you know,
14:05I offered to help
14:05her out.
14:07Lent her a couple
14:07of guy ropes.
14:09Anyway,
14:10I got to talking
14:11and found what
14:12we had a lot
14:12in common.
14:14Sleeping bags
14:15of the same
14:15tog rate
14:16and stuff like that.
14:21I was just about
14:22to show her
14:22the ordnance
14:23survey sign
14:24for a post office.
14:25We looked
14:27into each
14:28other's eyes.
14:30One thing
14:31led to another
14:31and
14:32kept banging
14:35my head
14:35on a primer.
14:42Guess I never
14:43did make it
14:44to dorking.
14:44Well, I hope
14:48you two
14:49are proud
14:50of yourselves.
14:51Look at you.
14:53Leaving this
14:54poor orphan
14:55lad to fend
14:56for himself.
14:57You should be
14:58ashamed of
14:59yourself,
15:00so you should.
15:03Sir,
15:05that's just
15:06one page
15:07from a complete
15:08set of
15:08Encyclopedia
15:09Britannicus.
15:10Look,
15:12it was
15:13a long
15:13time ago.
15:15A very
15:15special lady
15:17gave me
15:17that page.
15:19Whoever's
15:19got the rest
15:20of that
15:20set.
15:21Hang on a minute.
15:24And as I
15:25looked down
15:25that long
15:27dirt road,
15:29I could just
15:29about make out
15:30Consuela
15:31behind the
15:32wheel of her
15:32mobile library.
15:34I guess
15:39livered at
15:40Megan
15:40to
15:40Ponta
15:41Rocha.
15:44That was
15:44the last
15:45I ever saw
15:45of your
15:46dear mother.
15:48Don't worry,
15:48son.
15:49You're coming
15:50home to me.
15:51No,
15:51no,
15:51am I?
15:53Oi,
15:54which dad
15:55do you want
15:55to go with?
15:56Yeah.
15:56I don't mind,
15:57as long as I'm
15:58with my dad.
15:58Look,
15:59he's my son.
15:59He's coming
16:00with me.
16:00All right.
16:02Look,
16:03all right.
16:03We probably
16:05are his
16:06father's.
16:06What do
16:07you mean
16:07probably?
16:07Well,
16:08we don't
16:08know,
16:09do we?
16:09I mean,
16:10it could
16:10have
16:10nicked
16:10those
16:11things.
16:12No,
16:12I think
16:12we should
16:13make sure
16:13before we
16:13absolutely
16:14commit
16:14ourselves.
16:15And how
16:15are we
16:15going to
16:16do
16:16that?
16:16I
16:33the matter?
16:34Nothing,
16:34nothing.
16:36Have you
16:37ever gone
16:37really mad
16:38in a
16:38doctor's
16:39surgery?
16:42Yeah,
16:43I do it
16:43all the
16:43time.
16:46And me,
16:46it's great,
16:47isn't it?
16:48Here,
16:49here,
16:49what I like to
16:49do,
16:50right,
16:50what I like to
16:50do is I
16:51wait till the
16:51surgery's really
16:52full and then
16:53I drag one
16:54of me kids
16:54in.
16:56Your
16:56brothers.
16:57That's right,
16:58yeah,
16:58your brothers.
16:59I drag one
16:59of me kids
16:59in and this
17:00is the
17:00important bit,
17:01I do not
17:02make an
17:02appointment.
17:03I walk
17:04straight up to
17:04the receptionist
17:05and I say,
17:05I demand
17:06that the
17:06doctor sees
17:07my son
17:07now.
17:08Really?
17:09Oh,
17:09yeah.
17:10I wish
17:11I could
17:11do that.
17:13You
17:14will one
17:14day,
17:14son.
17:18I'm
17:19just going
17:19to nip
17:19to the
17:20loo.
17:21Loo?
17:23Fuck,
17:23hey,
17:24hey,
17:24that's where
17:25all the
17:25big knobs
17:26hang out.
17:29That's a
17:34horrible colour,
17:35isn't it?
17:36What,
17:37beige?
17:37Don't you
17:37like beige?
17:38Oh,
17:39no.
17:41Can't
17:41stand it.
17:46Doesn't
17:46like beige.
17:49He's
17:50no
17:50son
17:50of
17:50mine.
17:59What are you
18:24doing?
18:25Nothing.
18:26What are you
18:27doing?
18:27Nothing.
18:27Nothing.
18:57It's a
19:04compulsion,
19:05see?
19:05I always
19:06have to play
19:06the banjo
19:06on a
19:07stroke of
19:07midnight.
19:07I know.
19:08And me.
19:09What?
19:10What are you
19:10going to have to
19:10play,
19:11you know?
19:11Yeah,
19:12well,
19:12I always
19:12start with
19:13waltzing
19:13Matilda.
19:13Me too!
19:14Waltzing
19:14Matilda!
19:15I've tried
19:16Strangers in the
19:17Night,
19:17but it's not
19:17the same,
19:17is it?
19:18No.
19:19This is
19:20probably
19:20hereditary,
19:21you know?
19:23Son,
19:24I'm just
19:25going to go
19:25and get
19:25some fresh
19:26air.
19:27What?
19:28You like
19:29fresh air,
19:29do you?
19:31Yeah,
19:31I love
19:31it.
19:35Fresh
19:36air.
19:41That was
19:41a great
19:42game of
19:42volleyball,
19:42Dad.
19:43Yeah,
19:44well,
19:44I was
19:45taught by
19:45the nuns,
19:46you see.
19:47I get
19:48better
19:48training than
19:49that.
19:49look,
19:51son,
19:52I know
19:53you're
19:53my son,
19:54but do
19:55you mind
19:55if I
19:55ask you
19:56something,
19:56just to
19:56make sure?
19:58No,
19:58of course
19:58not.
20:00Why did
20:01the chicken
20:01cross the
20:02road?
20:04Because,
20:05er,
20:06because,
20:08er,
20:08I don't
20:11know,
20:11Dad.
20:12Neither
20:12do I!
20:14Neither!
20:15Oh,
20:16I'm sorry,
20:17son.
20:17I never
20:18meant to
20:19do,
20:19Dad.
20:20Oh,
20:20it's all
20:20right,
20:21Dad.
20:22I wish
20:22I hadn't
20:22bought these,
20:23they're a bit
20:23tight.
20:25They didn't
20:25have a size
20:26nine,
20:26I had to
20:26make do
20:26with a
20:27size eight.
20:27Nine?
20:29What a
20:30size nine,
20:31shoot.
20:32Yeah,
20:33come on.
20:36Size
20:36nine,
20:37I ask.
20:42Babies.
20:45Fresh
20:45air.
20:47He's
20:47no son
20:48of mine.
20:48No
20:49of mine.
20:50Ditto.
20:51All right,
20:51Dad?
20:56This is
20:56great,
20:57isn't it,
20:57eh?
20:58Boy alone
20:59with his
20:59fathers,
20:59just the
21:00four of us.
21:00Hang on,
21:01hang on,
21:01hang on,
21:02just a
21:02minute.
21:03Listen,
21:03look,
21:04it's a big
21:04thing finding
21:05out you've
21:06got a son
21:06you never
21:06thought you
21:07had,
21:07right?
21:07This is a
21:08very delicate
21:09issue.
21:09This has
21:09to be handled
21:10with sensitivity.
21:11Do you want
21:11him?
21:13Oh,
21:13I've got kids,
21:14haven't I?
21:14I mean,
21:14it'd be different
21:15if you're a
21:15girl.
21:15I mean,
21:16I haven't
21:16got any
21:16girls.
21:17You're not
21:18a girl,
21:18are you?
21:21Well,
21:21Dad?
21:21No,
21:22no,
21:22my place
21:23is too
21:23small.
21:23It's tiny.
21:24It's not
21:25room for
21:25both of us.
21:26Build an
21:26extension or
21:27something?
21:27No,
21:27if you'd
21:28been smaller,
21:28you know,
21:29if you'd
21:29been a
21:29hamster or
21:30something.
21:30you don't
21:32hamster,
21:32are you?
21:35Dad?
21:36Well,
21:36I'm
21:37all right
21:37just at
21:38the moment,
21:38you see.
21:39Apart
21:39from the
21:40gardening,
21:41I could
21:41do with
21:42a nice
21:42bag of
21:43peat.
21:44You're
21:44not a
21:45bag of
21:45peat,
21:46are you?
21:47Oh,
21:48right.
21:50What are you
21:50doing,
21:50Dad?
21:52It's
21:52for the
21:53best,
21:53son.
21:54Oh,
21:54Dad!
21:56Police,
21:56please.
21:58Oh,
21:58come on,
21:58Dad!
22:00Stop
22:01him,
22:01Dad!
22:02He'll
22:02be here
22:03in
22:0437
22:05seconds.
22:06Oh,
22:07this is
22:07great,
22:07isn't it,
22:07eh?
22:08I mean,
22:09the boy
22:09finds his
22:09father after
22:10all this
22:10time,
22:10look at
22:10how he's
22:11treated.
22:13Will you
22:13come and
22:13see me?
22:15Well,
22:15we'd have
22:16to be
22:16reimbursed.
22:17Yeah,
22:17we want
22:17travelling
22:17expenses.
22:18Yeah,
22:18an overnight
22:20accommodation
22:20dependent on
22:21the location
22:22of your
22:22remand
22:22sensor.
22:23I'd
22:23better leave
22:24it then,
22:24I haven't
22:24got that
22:25much
22:25money.
22:25Now,
22:25you see,
22:26boy,
22:26man,
22:26he's
22:26arriba!
22:30Now,
22:30we'll see
22:31which
22:32of those
22:32bulldogs
22:32will be
22:33the
22:33burglar.
22:35You,
22:35barbudo.
22:37Then,
22:38you,
22:39you,
22:39vikingo.
22:40Well,
22:40you must be
22:40your
22:41bulldog.
22:42I'm
22:43going to
22:43God,
22:44where is
22:44the
22:45burglar,
22:45please?
22:50You like
22:51to
22:51nad?
22:52Yes.
22:54Let's
22:55go,
22:55bulldog.
22:55piece of
23:04the
23:04Eiffel
23:04Tower.
23:05My
23:06mum gave
23:06it to
23:06me.
23:06She
23:06said,
23:07whoever's
23:07got the
23:07rest of
23:08that,
23:08he's
23:08my
23:09dad.
23:12No,
23:12you're
23:12doing
23:12that.
23:16Hijo
23:16mio!
23:22Right,
23:22that's
23:22it.
23:23Yeah,
23:23yeah.
23:23Adios,
23:24muchacha!
23:25Well,
23:29what are
23:29we going
23:30to do?
23:31Well,
23:32I think
23:32we should
23:33sit here
23:33very quietly
23:35until
23:37it's time
23:37to go
23:37home.
23:38at some
23:57night,
23:58the night
24:00we met,
24:01there was
24:02magic
24:03abroad
24:03in the
24:04air
24:05like
24:07an
24:08echo
24:08far
24:10away
24:11and
24:12nightingale
24:13sand
24:14on
24:14Parkley
24:16Square
24:17up
24:18and
24:21.
24:23.
24:26.
24:27.
24:29.
24:31.
24:31.
24:35.
24:36.
24:36.
24:36.
24:38.
24:39.
24:40.
24:41.
24:42.
24:42.
Recommended
24:49
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