- 18/05/2025
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00:00When we got married
00:30In sickness and in health I love you
00:34In sickness and in health I said I'll do
00:37Right. I'm finished. Come and have a look.
00:44Yeah. Don't say don't do nothing for you.
00:47Next time it's their turn to scrub this. They're not upstairs.
00:50Hey, can you hear you?
00:53Next time it's your turn to scrub this.
00:56They say that this bit of passage belongs to us.
01:00From the front door to the stairs, they say, is ours.
01:04So it's our business to keep it clean.
01:06All right, then.
01:07If that is what they say, if this bit is ours,
01:10they can't walk over it no more.
01:12They can't come in and out this way.
01:15All right. All right.
01:17Hey.
01:20If that's your bloody game up there,
01:22if this bit is ours, from the stairs to the front door,
01:26you can't use it no more. All right?
01:29You can't come in and out this way.
01:31You want to get out, you've got a bloody ladder and climb out the window.
01:35Bloody saucy.
01:36Don't walk over that until I've got some paper down.
01:39Where's the mat?
01:40At the back. I'm going to give them a good banging in a minute.
01:42Get the dust out of them.
01:44Well, don't do it yet. Next door's got a washing hanging out.
01:47Well, she can take it in, can't she?
01:49I ain't hanging about waiting for her washing to dry.
01:51Anyway, I'm going to light a bonfire out the back in a minute,
01:53burn up some rubbish.
01:55What rubbish?
01:56I'll soon find some.
01:58Well, can't you wait till she takes her washing in?
02:01She'll soon take it in when I light the fire, don't you worry.
02:05Look, that is my garden out the back, innit?
02:08I pay rates for that bit of land,
02:10and if I want to light a fire, I'll bang me mats out.
02:12It's my property I'm doing it on.
02:14Well, there'd be more neighbourly to wait.
02:16No, you'll let them walk all over you.
02:17That's your trouble.
02:18Don't.
02:18Hey, I'm going to light a fire out here in a minute, all right?
02:25I'm going to buy your mats out, all right?
02:27You've been warned.
02:29Don't say you ain't been warned.
02:31Get off of me.
02:32Get off.
02:33Oh, yeah.
02:35Where'd you get that bleating dog from?
02:38Who's that?
02:39Well, that'd be the milkman.
02:41Oh, where's he been?
02:42Number four again, I suppose.
02:43More than tea gets over there, I can tell you.
02:46Morning.
02:47Mind where you're walking?
02:48I just scrubbed all that.
02:49Oh, blimey.
02:52You look knackered, you do.
02:54Do you know that that is the equivalent of a 20-mile run, that is?
02:58What is?
02:59What you was doing over there.
03:01Well, it's harder than pushing a wheelchair,
03:03especially after you've climbed a block of flats.
03:05Never mind.
03:06You won't have to do anything like that anymore, will you?
03:09Ain't you lucky?
03:10Smart, Oz.
03:11Do you want to settle up, Mrs G?
03:13Oh, please, George.
03:14Right-o.
03:15Let's see now.
03:16Here we are.
03:19Now, on Monday, you had two pints, right?
03:22Yeah.
03:22And 20p each way on Crown Prince.
03:24Now, that went down, didn't it?
03:27Then on Tuesday, you had one pint, half a pound of butter
03:30and 20p on ambrosia, and that come in at 74 on.
03:33Yeah.
03:33Then on Wednesday, you had two pints, a quarter pound of tea
03:36and 50p Irish lady, and that went down.
03:38It fell down.
03:40On Thursday, you had one pint, a dozen eggs, a quarter pound of cheese
03:43and 20p to win on Lucky Charlie, which was scratched.
03:47You like them non-runners, don't you?
03:49Then on Friday, you had two pints, and that's right,
03:52I collected something from the dry cleaners for you
03:54and paid for it.
03:56Now, what was it?
03:57Oh, I know, it was something of his, wasn't it?
04:00Yeah.
04:00They said they couldn't get the stains out.
04:03They wanted to know what they were.
04:05Oh, yeah.
04:06Yeah.
04:06And then you had 10p to win on Midnight Express.
04:09Here, that was a good one, coming at 100 to 8.
04:11Yeah.
04:11So, let me see.
04:12Add that, take that, yeah, and that leaves...
04:16Yes, well, that's right.
04:17I owe you two eggs.
04:19Ah.
04:19All this gambling, I don't know.
04:22That, that supplementary benefit, that's not supposed to be used for gambling,
04:26it's supposed to be spent on things we need.
04:29We need eggs.
04:30I want eggs.
04:31You don't always win, do you?
04:33Well, I mostly do.
04:34Yeah, they all say that.
04:36Well, fun.
04:37I need a bit of fun.
04:40Stuck in a wheelchair.
04:41It's the only bit of fun I get.
04:42Yeah, I like to know how much of that welfare finishes up in the betting office.
04:46You would.
04:52Yeah, well, somebody has to pay that money in, don't I, before it gets paid out?
04:55Well, we all know that, Mr Garnett, as it so happens.
04:58I am one of them what's paying it in.
05:00I'm not complaining.
05:01Well, I wouldn't expect you to.
05:02It was your Labour lot started all that, weren't they, all them free handouts?
05:05Well, you should think yourself lucky they did.
05:07I mean, they cost a lot of money, them wheelchairs.
05:09That's what I'm forever telling him.
05:11I don't know where we'd be today if it wasn't for the welfare.
05:14It's a blessing, I think.
05:15Oh, yeah, it's a blessing, all right.
05:17Blessing for the bloody bookmakers, isn't it?
05:19Why some of them spend their welfare in there.
05:21All right, we was lucky.
05:23I admit that.
05:24We got a wheelchair out of it,
05:26but if she hadn't been struck down and crippled up the way she is,
05:28we could have gone on paying her for years and got nothing out of it.
05:31Can you call that lucky?
05:32Oh, listen, listen.
05:35You take your Liverpool, right?
05:37Now, they're supposed to be so poor up there, right, with all the unemployed.
05:41But if they're so poor,
05:42how is it they can afford two of the most expensive football teams in England, eh?
05:46If they're so poor, how is it they can afford all them star players, eh?
05:50Simple.
05:50It's obvious.
05:51It's your welfare.
05:52It's your welfare that's paying, isn't it?
05:54Your welfare's paying the players' wages.
05:56Now, how do you make that out?
05:57All right, I'll explain it to you.
05:58Listen, see, a lot of them, when they get their welfare, right,
06:01they're straight in the betting shop with it.
06:02Boom.
06:02Leave it out.
06:03Leave it out.
06:03Never mind leave it out.
06:04Leave it in.
06:05You bloody listening might learn something.
06:08But there's a hell of a lot more of that money going through the turnstiles of football,
06:12isn't it?
06:12Eh?
06:12I mean, up there in your Liverpool, they're playing European matches.
06:16Eh, they used to.
06:16All right, used to.
06:19They're still playing cup and league.
06:20They're playing three times a week, both teams.
06:23Where's the money coming from?
06:24That's what I'm going to know.
06:25What about the football pools?
06:25Never mind about the bloody pools, mate.
06:27The bloody grounds are packed to the rafters, both of them, aren't they?
06:30But all out of work up there.
06:32Nobody's working.
06:32They're all old towns on the bleeding doll.
06:35Where's the money coming from?
06:36Let's go in through the turnstiles.
06:37It's your welfare, isn't it?
06:39Your Everton and your Liverpool is being subsidised out of your DHSS.
06:45So we ain't so bloody lucky, are we?
06:47We might have got a wheelchair out of it, but we could have done with a bit more money for
06:50our football.
06:55Mind you, it's right what you said about your Europe.
06:58I mean, it's not fair, is it?
07:00Just because of the ignorance of a handful of Liverpool hooligans.
07:04West Ham's dreams of European glory has been dashed.
07:09It's not bloody fair years West Ham's been preparing for Europe.
07:13Bloody years.
07:15Wasted years now, aren't they?
07:16Aye.
07:17And just because of a few rotten, lousy, scar skits,
07:21guzzling their duty-free,
07:23and they won't pay their rates, will they, right, the rest of us?
07:25Oh, dear me, no.
07:26What are you talking about spoiling West Ham's chances?
07:29You've got to win something here before you can get into Europe.
07:32We can win, we can win, but there's ways of winning, isn't there?
07:35And we wouldn't stoop so low as some of your clubs do.
07:38That's our trouble.
07:40Oh, blimey.
07:41Don't suppose I'll live long enough to see West Ham win that European Cup?
07:44Your grandchildren won't live long enough.
07:46Shut up.
07:48Oh, well, I've got to be off,
07:49because I've got to settle up with that young unmarried mother in number 26.
07:53What's all the spring cleaning for you?
07:55We're expecting visitors.
07:56Got another home help coming, haven't we?
07:58So we have to get up at 6 o'clock in the morning and tidy up the place for her.
08:02Oh, I'm not going to think we live in a pigsty.
08:05Fifth one, this is social work.
08:07They don't want to be social, all right.
08:09They want to be too bloody social.
08:10All they want to do is sit here drinking tea and jewelry.
08:12None of them wants to do any work, it seems.
08:15Bloody football looligans.
08:19Brand them, that's what we ought to do.
08:21Brand them across the forest.
08:25Brand them for life.
08:26So we can see them, so we can, we can see who they are.
08:30Football looligans.
08:33Ruggers, rapists.
08:36Brand them.
08:37Brand them all.
08:38Unemployed, unemployable.
08:40And when we see them, we can whack them and kick them and hurt them.
08:43Bloody castrate them.
08:45Yes, sir.
08:45Well, have a nice day, Mrs G.
08:47Well, now, what would you like me to do, Mrs Garnett?
09:16Well, what we would like you to have done, we've already done it ourselves, haven't we?
09:22You was late.
09:23You're supposed to be here at nine o'clock.
09:24I left home at nine o'clock?
09:27My day starts when I leave home.
09:28Oh, does it?
09:29Well, as far as I am concerned, your day starts when you get here.
09:32Anyway, don't let some arguments.
09:34You make a start on the bedroom.
09:35I've tied it in here.
09:37I've got some shirts in there, want washing it, and a pair of underpants.
09:41I would like to point out to you, Mr Garnett, I am not supposed to do any work or clean any rooms used by active relatives.
09:49Solely used.
09:50I've got your book here, Mrs.
09:52It says, solely used.
09:57I don't use that bedroom solely.
09:59She shares my bag with me.
10:00Poor woman.
10:01Never mind about poor woman.
10:03Tidy hair half.
10:04You're tidy both halves of the room.
10:06You can clear your own mess and wash your own underpants.
10:08Not just my mess, it's both our mess.
10:10I'll do anything, Mrs Garnett wants, but I'll not be your dog's body.
10:13You'll do your job, that's what you'll do.
10:14I've got your book here, Mrs.
10:15Don't you pull no stunts on me.
10:18I know my rights.
10:19And I know my rights.
10:20Right, right, we'll see.
10:22Here we are.
10:23The type of work which your home health can be expected to do is those tasks which you cannot perform due to handicap illness or infirmity.
10:33You're not handicapped, aren't you?
10:35No, but my wife is, and the kind of tasks which she cannot perform is looking after me, innit?
10:45Cleaning my house.
10:46Cooking and washing and scrubbing and performing those duties that a wife performs for her husband.
10:54That's your job.
10:55That's what the council sent you round here to do, not to sit around drinking tea.
10:58And for a start off, I ain't had no breakfast yet.
11:00Haven't you had any breakfast yet, Mrs. Garland?
11:03No, she hasn't had any breakfast yet.
11:06Because I've seen her who's been too bloody busy cleaning and tidying the place for you.
11:10So she ain't had no time to cook me no breakfast.
11:12I told her to leave it for you.
11:13I told you you don't have a dog and bark yourself.
11:15Would you like me to make you some breakfast, Mrs. Garland?
11:18Yes, we would!
11:19Of course we bloody would!
11:20If you sit here two hours, wait for you to cook us out.
11:23And don't think you're getting away with that two hours, neither, because I've got that
11:25notey down.
11:26I'll have that deducted from your bloody wages.
11:28You can't come round here scyving, Mrs.
11:30Oh, blimey.
11:30We're not soft in the edge, you know, like some of them you look after.
11:34And another thing, for your information, we know what we've got and what we ain't got.
11:40What do you mean by that?
11:42We've had home helps before, Mrs.
11:44And we've had things go walkies.
11:46Are you insinuating?
11:47I'm not insinuating, nothing.
11:48I'm just putting you straight there.
11:49So while we're on the question of security, I'd like to see your identity card, please,
11:53to verify that you are a bona fide council employee.
11:57I'm sorry, Mrs. Garnett.
11:58I can't stay here.
11:59Not with him.
12:00I couldn't bear to be in the same room as him.
12:03That is a matter of time.
12:03I don't know how you manage it.
12:05You have my sympathy.
12:06I will not put up with talk like this.
12:08I have never been talked to in that manner before.
12:11Oh, yes.
12:11And in my work, I've come across some of the lowest and most common of people.
12:15Yeah.
12:16Or so I thought until today.
12:18I'm afraid you'll have to get back to the council, see if they can find you somebody else.
12:22Somebody not so particular.
12:23Don't spit on my head!
12:26Today, I'm sorry, you poor woman.
12:30I'm sorry, you poor woman.
12:43I'm sorry, you poor woman.
12:47Oh, my God.
12:49Oh, my God.
13:19Thank you very much.
13:49I'm trying to move up.
14:00And I am trying to watch tally.
14:04Oh!
14:09I'm sorry, Mrs Garnett.
14:12You'll have to find someone else.
14:19I'm sorry, Mrs Garnett.
14:23I'm sorry, Mrs Garnett.
14:27I'm sorry.
14:29I'm sorry, Mrs Garnett.
14:33I'm sorry.
14:37I'm sorry.
14:39That's all I need.
14:44you're not gonna smoke that thing in here are you she got do with you like it
15:03where I like when I my ass well I'm not staying the same room with that thing it's
15:09a filthy dirty habit you'll poison me quite the back is all right selfie enough dangerous dangerous
15:20you smoke one of these misses you'll come to no harm it's dangerous to be in the same room with
15:27somebody smoking that poisonous stuff dangerous even if it was dangerous wouldn't stop leaving
15:32smoking because I am smoking for the health and prosperity of the country what now ask the
15:40question where does the nation derive its biggest income for me to me tobacco tax in it so if the
15:52whole nation stops smoking tomorrow all that money's down to dry dick come under your sabotage act that
16:01would wouldn't it ruining the economy of the country now missus what I'm doing is patriotic it's
16:08patriotic to smoke rubbish not rubbish not rubbish at all my dear do you know how much money was
16:17collected last year from your tobacco tax enough to pay for your national health service and a bit
16:22over as well she wouldn't have no wheelchair if it wasn't for people like me smoking and you wouldn't
16:27have no job either for us smokers blind us smokers oh you ought to get a medal what we're doing for
16:33the country and people like you who give up smoking for health reasons are too frightening to smoke you
16:39ought to be given a white feather hey never mind about hey look if a war breaks out tomorrow if you are
16:47called to the colors you can't refuse to go and fight because it's dangerous can you same with your
16:53same with your smoking same with tobacco don't give up smoking because it's dangerous neither is for the
16:58benefit of the country no I am smoking for England and the Queen God bless her and I refuse to work in a room
17:09filled with foul smoke I am persecuted for smoking my own pipe in my own home in my own country
17:18persecuted for smoking a pipe I am what is it bloody Russia give us that here
17:23you go to my bloody step what I am I am not in it not obvious in it persecuting persecuting and
17:35treated worse than a bloody black iron kettle can't smoke in a train can't smoke in a tube train can't
17:42smoke on a platform can't even smoke in the street without somebody poking a nose in and casting as
17:46persons with their bloody posters and waving their arms around saying filthy habit filthy habit bloody
17:53British Railways train our own bloody railways paid for it of our own bloody taxes with fares it's a
17:59bloody crime I'm sitting in the smoking compartment where smoking is allowed where you're supposed to
18:04smoke and a bloody crowd of agents gets in bloody packies bloody nicknots not even born in this country
18:11they're stinking a bloody curry they are and just because I like my pipe me an Englishman in his
18:16own country country he was born in well they don't wear flash helmets because they want to wear a bloody
18:21turban and and I'm sitting in my own bloody railway train and just because I like my pipe they'll start
18:25waving their hands about and I'm like bloody whirling dervishes and opening the windows they do
18:30this is me missus this is where I live this is mine this this is this party empire is still mine
18:48this beer still free here I do what I want here I smoke my pipe in peace and now I'm waving and opening
18:57bloody windows I don't want them bunged up within your foul smoke I want to breathe pure oh pure off
19:12and bloody war breathe bloody lungs all four and a half tons of them outside and breathe
19:18they're not staying here don't you worry people like you should be locked up I thought a war against
19:35people like you are you going round the doctors for me keep asking you I want you to collect my
19:54prescription yes I'm going when in a minute it'll be too late in a minute I'm going well go then in a
20:06minute in a minute so you say in a minute ask for a glass of water in a minute in a minute last for a
20:19cup of tea it's in a minute in a minute anything I ask you to do it's in a minute you say that once
20:27more in a minute now throw something at you stop nagging going for your prescription I go for it I said
20:37I would and I will when now now then in a minute don't hurry back take your time you won't be missed I've got a new home
21:02help coming today and I don't want you here so stay away stay away till she's done her work and gone
21:10now it's not fair when somebody who wants to be active who prefers to be active loses the use of
21:19their legs while others who wouldn't miss the use of their legs who prefer not to use them anyway
21:30they'll be quite consent to sit about all day doing nothing we're allowed to go through life with
21:38legs that are wasted on them you're moving at last you're wicked you are oh oh I only hope he can hear
21:52you my legs could be on the way to being as bad as yours are they ain't escaped not yet I ain't this
22:02leg started playing up the same way you all stayed well perhaps we'll both end up in a wheelchair made for two
22:22you pull the other one half no it's true I've seen it on the telly get off I did I've seen it on the
22:46telly listen they put your woman's hormones in your balls here with a syringe well any oh my almost
23:03women's all women's all it makes your ball fatter but almost yes almost with blows him up like so
23:09they get more meat off it almost hormones yes women's hormones yes here's the danger oh if you get a bit
23:19of his ear or a bit what's been close to his ear well like his head you mean yeah turn you into a
23:31puffed up you don't you don't easy don't eat your balls a you do it your balls head not easy you eat
23:45he said when you're eating your mints Carol now and your hamburgers now you do look what you're eating
23:51when you're eating your mints your mints me and your hamburgers is your balls head and it can turn you
23:57into a puffed up what do you mean the hormones your woman woman's almost almost a woman's hormones
24:05why do you think we've got so many bloody puffed up springing up like mushrooms all around the place
24:09spreading your rage and your herpes I don't believe all that cobblers get off I've seen it on the telly
24:18listen there should be a warning yeah a government warning this hamburger could turn you into a puffed up
24:27yeah not not if you're a woman yeah well could have the reverse effect what do you what do you
24:37mean you like a lesbian yeah it's the same thing but why are there so many lesbians you think it's the
24:48same as your fellas only different where they enjoy it like how they do it well it's unnatural in it
25:06I mean consulting adults is all right up to a point right this I I mean yes ah but you've got to a lot I
25:15mean you don't mind a few of the Nancy boys oh no have a laugh have a giggle here it's half I heard
25:22they've got them in the house as a parliament now the Nancy boys yeah you don't want them in the
25:26parliament you don't want them in your parliament no joy you're lying somewhere you don't want a brown
25:30nattery number 10 no of his living boyfriend huh good health alpha good health elf blimey you can't say
25:40that when you're piss can you I've got news for you I am pissed no I ain't put no no women's hormones in this
25:52mate well if they have unfollowing you home say this is my new home help Winston what time do you call this coming home I suppose you want your dinner now
26:20well I've got news for you we've already had ours but you're very lucky I saved you some sit buona
26:33I just cleaned that here then it's all the same you know dear men
26:43what's that mince
26:58what's that mince
27:03oh
27:05oh
27:07you
27:08you
27:10you
27:11you
27:13you
27:14And you said thank you all my best to you
27:18But what do you want me for, I see
27:22Now I'm going to go and do it, I see
27:25Now through these years I lost a question, you were there
27:30But you said thank you all my best to you
27:32You said thank you all my best to you
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