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00:00Stick a pony in me pocket, I'll fetch the suitcase from the van
00:09Cause if you are the best, but you don't ask questions
00:15Then brother, I'm your man
00:17Cause where it all comes from is a mystery
00:21It's like the changing of the seasons and the tides of the sea
00:26But is the one which's driving me berserk?
00:30Why do only fools and horses work?
01:00Oh, you've made it. Rod, it's good. Well done, my son
01:14You've got a bloody nerve you have, Dale
01:17Phoning me up at home and demanding I come down here to pick you up
01:21What could I do, Rodney?
01:23What, what could I?
01:25Listen, look, I've got the Vauxhall Velox outside, haven't I, eh?
01:29And I've had a few, you know what I mean, a few drinky poos
01:32And I thought to myself, well, I could get a little old minicab
01:35And then I thought to myself, no, no, man
01:37What is more impressive?
01:38It's more impressive if you get your driver to come round and drive you home
01:43In your vexil vollox
01:44What do you mean impressive, eh?
01:48Who are you trying to impress?
01:49Shh!
01:50Contact, Rodney, contact
01:53New man in the area, stone rich
01:56Looking for business opportunities
02:00We could earn out of this, Rodney, my little brother
02:04Dale, what you fail to realise is when you phoned
02:07I was in the flat with a friend
02:09Well, why didn't you bring him with you?
02:11Wasn't a he
02:12Well, what was it then?
02:16Have you been up to noughties, Rodney?
02:18No
02:19Just had a feeling something was going to develop
02:22Develop?
02:23You've been playing with my Polaroid again, haven't you, eh?
02:25No
02:25I'll just let our course, Derek
02:29All right, no rush
02:30Vimont, my own mucker
02:31Who?
02:34Vimont
02:34Vimont Malik
02:36My contact
02:38Say no more
02:40She said she can't come now because she's way in the postman
02:48Do you fancy a nightcap, Vimont?
02:53And a nice little pub that does late tastings, eh?
02:59Thought you'd given me the slip, did you, Vimont?
03:02Why don't you go away and leave me alone?
03:06I have no quarrel with you, my friend
03:09It's the pigs behind Malik that I wish to see
03:13Friend of yours, is it, Vimont?
03:17He's no one's friend
03:18Listen, John
03:20I don't know what this Barney is all about
03:23And I don't want to know
03:24So why don't you, chaps, get out of the way
03:26Before someone gets a smack in the ear
03:28All right
03:29Please
03:30Please
03:30Don't threaten me with violence, my friend
03:34My colleague here
03:36Is a second Dan in karate
03:38And I'm a black belt
03:41In origami
03:43Get out of the way
03:45Watch him, Dill
04:02Watch his carry-tary, mate
04:03Watch your bloody carry-tary in a minute, Ronnie
04:06Just shut up, will you?
04:07Police
04:12Godney, you and Vimont, in the car, quick
04:22Right, let's go
04:23Well, it's been very pleasant meeting you both
04:28Have a nice evening, won't you?
04:31My friend
04:32It's not good to part in such circumstances
04:36Could we talk?
04:38I've done all the talking I wanted to
04:40Good night, each
04:44Rodney, I didn't mean drive off
04:50What a plonker
04:53Well, on second thoughts
04:58I quite fancy a nice little chat
05:01Perhaps you could drop me off home after
05:04Oh, oh dear
05:08Come on, me old mate
05:09Come on
05:10You'll be, you'll be all right
05:12You'll be all right
05:13Here, what happened?
05:21Yeah, John, that is twice
05:28All right
05:29Oh, I think your brother has arrived, Mr. Trotter
05:36Oh, yeah, yeah
05:37Could you excuse me a minute, Mr. Rahm?
05:40Excuse me
05:40Rodney
05:41Dill!
05:42Are you all right, son?
05:43I thought you was in bother
05:44Oh, that's why it's taken you an hour and a half to get here, is it?
05:47Didn't Grandad tell you that I'd telephoned?
05:49Oh, yeah, he told me
05:50Dill boy's been captured by the Indians, you see
05:52I didn't know where to phone the police or the Texas Rangers
05:55When you were so worried about your brother
05:58You know, you were so worried about me
05:59How come it's taken you till 20 to 1 in the morning to come to me rescue?
06:02Because your telephone message lacked something in clarity, didn't it?
06:05You didn't tell Grandad which Indian restaurant you was in
06:08I've been crashing through the doors of every curry house
06:10and takeaway from Battersea Bridge to Collierswood Tube Station
06:13I can now leap out of that Vauxhall Velix, Dukes of Hazard fashion
06:17make a jiff party and say, get stuffed in Urdu
06:19I forgive you, Rodney
06:22Oh, that's nice
06:23All right, then
06:23So, you're going to be trouble, is there?
06:26No, no, put the spoon down
06:28Go for that
06:29All right
06:30Come on
06:31Er, Rodney, I would like you to meet Mr. Rahm
06:34He owns this restaurant
06:36Of course, you know Oddjob, don't you?
06:40Well, nice restaurant you've got here, Mr. Rahm
06:42Very, uh...
06:44Indian
06:45Yeah, Indian
06:46Thank you
06:47Sit down, sit down
06:48I was just telling your brother how well I've done since I came from Britain
06:51I now own 18 of these restaurants altogether
06:55I also own a lot of plan
06:57Yeah, yeah
06:58Oddjob's got a couple of acres and all, hasn't he?
07:04I'm telling you
07:09Now, if I got into my car at 9 o'clock in the morning
07:12It would take me up to 2 in the afternoon to drive around my land
07:16Yeah?
07:16We had a car like that once, hey?
07:19What?
07:20It don't matter
07:21So, Mr. Rahm, you and this, uh, Vimble
07:24You've been having a bit of a nut and a downer then, have you?
07:27Don't mention that name at this table
07:28It will sour the food
07:30Well, what's it all about, then?
07:32I'll tell you what it's all about, Mr. Trotter
07:34It's about truth
07:35It's about righteousness
07:37But above all, it's about justice
07:40Vimble, that...
07:42That pig's behind
07:44Has something that's rightfully mine
07:47You see, our families have been engaged in a vendetta for many, many years
07:52It goes right back to the days of the old empire
07:55He means a British empire, not a Cuban
07:57I know
07:58I know that, I know that
08:00Pray continue
08:01Now, my family fought against the British
08:05Whereas the Mullick's family supported them
08:08When the conquest of Mother India was finally complete
08:12The British Raj decided to reward the Mullick's loyalty
08:16By giving them my family's land
08:19What? You mean they just took it off your family?
08:22That's correct
08:23They destroyed the home
08:25They plundered the family's temple
08:27And then they sold the land
08:29Sure
08:30The Mullicks have built a business empire with the proceeds
08:33Yeah, couldn't you write to That's Life?
08:37That's Life
08:38Yeah
08:39But this happened a century ago, Mr. Trotter
08:42If Lord Krishna himself couldn't help us
08:45I really don't think Esther Ransom would stand my chance
08:48No, no, that's right
08:49That was just a fool
08:50That was...
08:50Oi!
08:50Get off
08:51Vimal Malik has in his possession the one single item that remains of my birthright
08:57It's a simple porcelain statuette of Kuera
09:02You know of Kuera?
09:05Oh, yeah
09:05You don't know who Kuera is?
09:11Yes, I do
09:12All right, then tell us
09:14What?
09:18Who is it?
09:20Who?
09:21Kuera
09:21Oh, well, er, he was...
09:25All right, I don't know
09:26There you are
09:27You see what I mean, Mr. Rhyme?
09:28He's got two O-levels and he thinks he's Bambergascoigne's best
09:30All right, mastermind, who is he, then?
09:35Kuera was one of India's premier wicket-keepers
09:39Kuera is the Hindu god of wealth from the second aspect of the Trimurti, the Hindu trinity
09:48Oh, yeah, oh, that Kuera, oh, yeah, gotcha now, yeah, yeah, there's two of them
09:52In worldly terms, the statuette is of little value
09:56But in religious and sentimental terms, it's precious to me and I want it back
10:01It's mine by right
10:03I'm a rich man, Mr. Trotter
10:05I shouldn't have to stoop to the kind of intimidation you've witnessed tonight
10:10I'm prepared to buy it back from him and Molly
10:13I would pay £4,000
10:16£4,000
10:21Four, four, four thousand pounds
10:23Phew
10:24Well, why don't you just go and make him an offer?
10:26Oh, it's impossible
10:27It's this wretched caste system, you see
10:29He belongs to the high caste and I belong to the low caste
10:33Oh, no, no, don't put yourself down
10:34We cannot meet, talk or communicate in any manner
10:37So, you see, my friends
10:39I'm up a gum tree without a paddle
10:42Seems to me, Mr. Ronald, what you need is a mutual friend
10:46You know, someone who can talk to the both of you
10:48You know, act as a sort of go-between
10:50Perhaps you and your brother
10:53Us?
10:55What?
10:57I suppose we could
10:59I mean, could
11:00Why didn't we think of that, Rodney?
11:01I think one of us already did, though
11:03If you helped me to reclaim the statuette
11:06I don't know how I'd ever reward you
11:10Oh, well, I've always fancied one of them video recorders
11:13But no, no, par de bar
11:14Par de bar
11:15We'll go and see this Mr. Vimal tomorrow
11:19Um, four thousand pounds, you said, right?
11:23Right
11:23Oh, but I must make one thing quite clear
11:27I don't trust this man, Vimal Malik
11:30You see, he comes from a long line of swindlers
11:33I won't part with a single penny
11:36Until I have the statuette safely in my hands
11:41Don't you worry
11:42Don't worry, Mr. Ron
11:44Me and Vimal
11:44We're like that
11:46Good job that we didn't call the police tonight
11:50No!
11:50No!
11:54What happened?
11:55I'm surprised at you, Derek
11:59And you also, Rodney
12:01How could you share a meal with that, that gutter dog?
12:05I thought you were my friends
12:06We are your friends, Vimal, my old mucker
12:09Just trust me, will you?
12:10Trust me
12:11You see, this Mr. Rahm
12:13Uh, the gutter dog
12:15Um, well, he told us all about the little misunderstanding
12:19That your two families have been having for the last hundred years or so
12:22He also mentioned something about the statue of some god or another
12:27Aquvera, the god of wealth
12:29Ah, that's him, that's the boy
12:30Yeah, well
12:31Yeah, well, you know
12:34Um, well, without beating around a bush
12:38Um, you know, I mean, well, you know
12:42To cut a long story, sure
12:45Um, well, not to put too fine a point on it
12:51He wants to buy it off you
12:52He wants to buy it from me
12:58He must have gone mad
13:01Or he's been eating too many of his own curries
13:03Buy it from me, indeed
13:05I wouldn't sell it to him if he offered me a million pounds
13:08How much did he offer?
13:11Purely out of curiosity, you understand
13:12Yeah, two thousand pounds
13:13Two, I thought Mr. Rahm said
13:15Yeah, a thousand pounds, that is right, Rodney
13:17But I persuaded him to double it
13:19Two thousand pounds
13:21No, no, no, I can't sell it to him
13:23Two thousand pounds, Vimal, my old mucker
13:26You know, not be sneezed at, is it, eh?
13:28I will not deny that I'm tempted, Derek
13:31I thought of selling the statue once before
13:33The most I was offered was 150 pounds
13:36Oh, look, Vimal
13:38You see, I get the impression that you're not quite as rich and successful
13:43As you told me you were last night at the Chamber of Trade Bash
13:46I mean, take a look at this place
13:48It's oddly the Ritz, is it, eh?
13:51More like the Nitz
13:52I will admit I have suffered some misfortunes in my business dealings of late
13:58Son, two grand on the hip would come in dead handy, eh?
14:02Two thousand pounds would come in dead handy, as you say
14:05But I can't communicate with him
14:07I'm of a high caste, he's a low caste
14:10But you don't have to communicate with him, Vimal, my old mucker
14:13That's where me and Rodders come in, you see
14:14We're acting as the go-betweens
14:16Even so, I cannot accept his offer
14:19You see, it would be like betraying my family
14:22The statue was left to me by my father
14:24You wouldn't understand what that means, would you?
14:27Oh, yes, yes, we would
14:28Wouldn't we, Rodney?
14:29Would we, though?
14:30Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah
14:31Our late mother
14:33Well, she's dead now
14:35She left us this family heirloom
14:39It was this Victorian globe
14:43It meant the world to us
14:45He said it meant the world to us
14:50Yeah, but there came the time when we fell upon stony ground
14:54We fell upon stony ground?
14:55Yes, we fell upon stony ground
14:57And the only thing we had of any value was
14:59Was this Victorian globe that we cherished
15:02You sold it?
15:04Well, no, no, no
15:05I raffled it down a betting shop
15:07But, of course, you understand the sense of loss
15:09Well, not really, no
15:10Because by some stroke of fortune, Del had the winning ticket
15:13I think it was God or something
15:18You think I should sell it to him, Derek?
15:20Yes, of course I do
15:21Vim on my old mucker
15:22I mean, what is it?
15:24It's just an ancient piece of old religious pottery
15:26Right?
15:27And with 2,000 pounds, wisely invested
15:30I mean, in a couple of years, you could replace it with, uh
15:33Um, who knows, uh
15:35What?
15:35Capo Del Monte
15:36Yeah
15:37And personally
15:39Anyway, I'm sorry
15:40I've got to tell you this
15:42But I think that statue is cursed
15:44Cursed?
15:45Oh, leave it out, Del
15:47Do not underestimate the powers of darkness, Rodney
15:49I mean, for a God of wealth
15:51He ain't done Vimal no favours, has he, eh?
15:54I'm not a superstitious man, Derek
15:56But I'm a businessman and a realist
15:58I have decided to accept his offer
16:00Well, you know it makes sense, Vimal
16:04I'll go and fetch the statue
16:05Yeah
16:06Good man
16:06Now, just what...
16:11Excuse me, won't you?
16:12Oh, certainly, yes
16:13Now, just watch your game, Del
16:17Rahm offered 4,000
16:18How come you're only offering two?
16:19Slip of the tongue, Rodney
16:20Ah, so when he comes back, you won't mind me telling him the truth?
16:23No, don't you do that
16:24Otherwise you think I'm trying to con him
16:26You are trying to con him
16:28No man is an island, Rodney
16:29I know that, Del
16:30What I'm on about is the...
16:32What's that supposed to mean?
16:35What it mean...
16:35What it...
16:36Look
16:36The French have a saying, Rodney
16:39Bully buoys mon ami
16:41Bully buoys mon ami
16:43That means fish stew, my friend
16:45Need I say more?
16:48Now, don't try and fog me off with your stupid French phrases
16:51You're trying to con him out of 2,000 quid
16:53We're going to get lumbered, Del
16:54How?
16:55All right
16:56Say, Rahm and Vimmel meet and discuss the deal
16:59That's the beauty of it
17:00Rahm and Vimmel cannot meet because of the wonderful caste system
17:03It's Christmas, come early for us
17:05And anyway, if it wasn't for kind-hearted people like you and me
17:08Willing to act as go-betweens
17:09Vimmel would end up with nothing
17:11And as it is, 2,000 pounds
17:13Better than to kick up the bot from Bobby Charlton, isn't it, eh?
17:15It's moral
17:16It's free enterprise
17:18It's illegal, then
17:19All right, so it's against the law and all
17:21But look, you and I can earn 1,000 pounds apiece out of this
17:24It's fraud
17:26Are you in?
17:28Yeah, all right
17:29All right
17:29Ah, oh, well, this is it
17:38Is it, Vimmel, my old mucker?
17:39Oh, yeah
17:42Lovely
17:42Oh, that is lovely, that
17:44Wonderful workmanship
17:46Of course, I'm a Ming fan myself, you know
17:48Oh, yeah
17:49He made some wonderful stuff, didn't he, that Ming?
17:51Yeah
17:52He went and died when he did, didn't he?
17:54Ming was a dynasty, Derek
17:56I don't care what he was of him
17:57Well, he made a smashing vase
17:58Anyway, look, we'll pop this round to Mr Rahm
18:01And bring you back your 2,000 pounds
18:04Post-aced, as they say in ancient Rome, all right?
18:06No, no, no, Derek
18:08This does not leave my side until his money's on the table, right?
18:12No, no, no, no, no, no, no
18:14No, sorry, look, you don't understand, you see
18:16Because he said that you won't get a penny
18:18Until he has that statue safely in his hands, all right?
18:22I don't care what he said, Derek
18:24I do not trust the man
18:25He comes from a long line of cheats
18:27You bring me his money first
18:30Then you can take him the statue
18:31No, but you see
18:33No, you see, he said
18:35He said, bring me the statue
18:37And then you can have the money
18:39I don't care what he said, Derek
18:42You don't care what he said, Derek
18:43Yes, I heard what he said
18:44I'll leave Rodney as a deposit
18:46Eh?
18:48What else can I do?
18:50I mean, look, he won't let that go until he gets the money
18:52And he won't have the money until he gets the...
18:54Oh, Gordon Bennett
18:55This is classic, this is, isn't it, eh?
18:59It's the bacon and the egg situation all over again
19:01It's the chicken and the egg, then
19:02We haven't got time to discuss food, Rodney
19:04Talk to him, Derek
19:06Persuade him to submit to my terms
19:08After all, you have influence over him
19:11You have already persuaded him to double his offer
19:13From £1,000 to £2,000
19:15Yeah, well, mm, all right, all right, mm
19:18All right, then I'll see what I can do then, shall I, yeah
19:20I'll, um...
19:22You know, I'll, er, I'll get back to you, all right
19:25You know, you, er, all right
19:27Stay loose, okay
19:29Cool
19:30Now, don't you worry, Wimmel, don't worry
19:32I mean, me and old Rahm, I mean, we're like that
19:35We're like, we're like, we're like that
19:37Yeah
19:38Thanks, come on
19:40What are we gonna do now?
19:45Just forget the old thing, Derek
19:46What do you mean, forget the old thing?
19:47How can we forget the old thing?
19:48£2,000 up for grabs and you say forget it
19:51No, no, there's got to be another way round it
19:53There isn't
19:53Look, Rahm won't pay a penny till he's got the statuette in his hands
19:56And Wimmel won't let the statuette go till he's got Rahm's money
19:59Yeah, cheers
20:00Yeah, well, what he thinks is Rahm's money
20:04What you on about now?
20:07Well, let's say, just for instance
20:08That we had £2,000 lying around at home doing nothing in particular
20:13Oh, just mooching about?
20:15Yeah, you know, kicking its heels, that sort of thing
20:16And let's say that we gave Wimmel that £2,000, right?
20:21And we pretended that we'd just collected it from Mr Rahm
20:25Well, Wimmel, he wouldn't know any better, would he, eh?
20:27So, thinking that he'd won the battle
20:29And as happy as a sandboy, he'd hand over the statuette
20:32Which we would then whip round to Mr Rahm
20:36Who, also thinking that he'd won the battle
20:39And being equally chuffed as a sandboy
20:42Would hand over to us
20:434,000 lovely smaccaroonios
20:47We would get on our bike
20:49Leaving them to play sandcastles
20:50Brilliant, isn't it, eh?
20:54Yeah
20:54There's only one problem I can see, Dil
20:56How the hell do we get £2,000?
20:58You always bring little details up, don't you, eh?
21:03We'll get it from a bank
21:04What, rob it?
21:05Well, it's a...
21:06Oi!
21:06No, no, no, no, we'll borrow it from a bank
21:08This is guilt-edged security, innit?
21:10Dil, you can't stroll into a bank and ask for a loan
21:13To help you pull off a con-trick
21:14Besides, we haven't got a bank account
21:16Oh, well, it's got to be another way of raising the money
21:20I mean, it's just got to be
21:21Here, we're general traders, ain't we?
21:27Yeah?
21:27Well, why don't we start trading, generally?
21:30I mean, we could flog all our stock that we got in the garage
21:33Couldn't we?
21:33We could sell the Deep Freeze, the Vauxhall Velox
21:36Three-wheel van?
21:37You're jesting, they'd want a tenant to take that away
21:39No, we could flog Grandad's telly
21:41We could flog, eh, my jewellery
21:45That'd bring in enough
21:46I mean, it's 27 carat
21:47I thought it was 9 carat
21:49That was when I was buying, now I'm selling
21:50We could sell that leather coat
21:54You're not talking about my leather coat, are you?
21:56I don't know, I'm talking about
21:57Have you got a leather coat?
21:58We'll knock that one out
21:58I know, Rodney, yeah, that's a good idea
22:00Come on, Bill, we'll never raise two Grands
22:03We can, Rodney
22:04You can do anything if you want it hard enough
22:06We can do it, Rodney
22:08We can do it
22:10Yeah
22:11Yeah
22:12Come on
22:13I do it, Rodney
22:15I do it, Rodney
22:15Call it
22:19Yeah
22:19Give me a
22:27You can do it
22:31But God
22:32You can do it
22:33Oh, yeah
22:34You can do it
23:05Well, thanks a lot.
23:30It's Tempest Fugit, then, eh?
23:33Where's your watch, Derek?
23:35Oh, it's at the Menders. I broke it last night playing, you know, volleyball.
23:40I thought you were right-handed.
23:41Me? No, no, no, no. I'm ambiguous.
23:50Hey, brothers!
23:52What about that, my son?
23:53Ha-ha-ha!
23:55Here, I can't!
23:56Ha-ha-ha-ha!
24:01Ha-ha-ha!
24:02Ha-ha-ha!
24:06Ha-ha-ha!
24:07good afternoon gentlemen a table for two uh no thank you no thank you uh we'd like to see mr
24:26rahm mr rahm the owner the owner terrible echo in here in there rodney yeah we'd like to speak
24:32to the owner mr rahm the owner mr rahm there it goes again what's the matter with it now listen
24:38listen we would like to talk to the proprietor of this restaurant right i am the proprietor of
24:46this restaurant no no no we want to see the real owner all right i am that real owner all right
24:54all right all right all right listen just wait hang on just watch my lips all right look where
24:59is mr rahm right look i don't know any mr bloody rahm so will you please leave you drunks always
25:07come here causing trouble trouble we're not drunk sorry look i was having a couple of meals here
25:12quite recently you must remember me i'm sorry you're look alike to me
25:19what's he talking about we all look alike what's the matter with him he's making it up look look look
25:24my brother right was in here dining with a couple of indian gentlemen right one was sort of large large
25:33and aggressive right big you know that one was smaller that's what well he's smaller than that
25:39why don't you get down there right that being um more business like you had a beard beard you had a
25:45beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard beard
26:15I've just given him £2,000 for this on the strength of him, fibbing.
26:25£2,000? But why? You can get them in Portobello Road for £17 each.
26:35It's amazing what you can save if you shop around.
26:42I've got a nosebleed coming, Rodney.
26:46He tried to tell me that the statue was cursed.
26:53You know, he told me that he thought Guetta was a wicked person.
27:02Let's see. Now we've done Cardiff, Bristol, Southampton and now North and South London. Where to next?
27:09Oh, to Birmingham, then Manchester, then Newcastle, even maybe Liverpool.
27:16In fact, anywhere where there are people who think they can exploit the religious bigotry of two stupid immigrants,
27:21who will be rich, my friend, very rich. I'll drink to that, me old fucker.
27:27No sign of Wimmel?
27:28No. Packed his bags and had it weighing his toes five minutes after we'd left.
27:30No sign of Wimmel?
27:33No sign of Wimmel?
27:34No. Packed his bags and had it weighing his toes five minutes after we'd left.
27:46As Macbeth said to Amlet in mid-summer night's dream, we'd been done up like a couple of kippers.
27:52Right, let's go to the police.
27:53Oh yeah, that's a good idea that is. Oh, that's marvellous. We'd give them a good laugh down there, couldn't we, eh?
27:59Just imagine it, Trotter Brothers, conned out of two grand. We'd be all over the manor in no time.
28:04We'd never be able to hold our heads up in court again.
28:08I'd never be able to hold our heads up in court again.
28:12I'd never be able to hold our heads up again.
28:15I'd never be able to hold our heads up again.
28:18We'd never be able to hold our heads up in court again.
28:22I don't know how people like Wimmel and his mate can sleep at night. Honest, I don't.
28:28Lost everything. Leather coats, Vauxhall velox, grandad's telly.
28:33Hey, I've just remembered something. Grandad was writing that telly.
28:37Oh, tell me.
28:41Come on, let's get something to eat.
28:43I always feel emotionally peckish when I've been gutted.
28:48Well, that's a curry house down the road, Del.
28:51No, only joking, Del boy.
28:53Del!
28:54Only joking, Del!
28:55We've got some half-price crack ties, some miles and miles of capitals.
29:04TVs, deep freeze and David Bowie OPs.
29:07Pool games, gold chains, wuss names and Edda Push.
29:10And Trevor Francis tracksuits from a mush.
29:12And Shepard's bush, bush, bush, bush, bush, bush, bush.
29:15No income tax, no VAT.
29:19No money back, no guarantee.
29:22Black or white, rich or broke.
29:25We'll cut prices and a straw.
29:30God bless Hooky Street.
29:32Viva Hooky Street.
29:35Long live Hooky Street.
29:39Saint-Magnifique Hooky Street.
29:42Magnifique Hooky Street.
29:47Hooky Street.
29:50Hooky Street.