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00:00Susan, Victoria, I have just washed me face and hands,
00:26and yet again I can't find any towels.
00:30Morning, Dad. Morning, Gerald.
00:33Can you please explain to me why women seem to be incapable of leaving a bathroom
00:39without first swathing themselves in every available towel?
00:44It's snuggly?
00:46It's anti-social, Victoria. Towels are not garments.
00:50They weren't designed for wearing round the house. They are towels.
00:54They are for drying. Their place is in the bathroom.
00:58You don't walk out of the kitchen with a frying pan on your head, do you?
01:03You've never felt the need to make a sarong out of the lounge room carpet
01:08and wear it in the garden?
01:10No.
01:11No.
01:12A cup of tea? I could do you an egg if you like.
01:15I'm seeing Mum later, so I'm doing a bit of admin this morning,
01:18clearing the receipts off the fridge.
01:21Exhibit A.
01:23Uh, it's like a toilet roll?
01:26No, Victoria, it is an empty toilet roll, plus one sheet of toilet paper,
01:33which someone had artfully draped over it in order to avoid their clear moral responsibility
01:42to replace the roll.
01:44It's not, Cole. You were in there last.
01:46I didn't finish it. There's a sheet left.
01:48Technically, you didn't finish it, Victoria, but in terms of natural justice,
01:54you are bang to rights.
01:56Oh, my God. This is like a witch hunt.
01:58Luckily, I spotted the shortage before fully committing meself
02:03and was able to facilitate a late retraction.
02:08I think I'll forget breakfast.
02:12But now I am going to have to go at work, which I hate
02:17because I find it difficult to function
02:20if there are other members of the lavatory-using community hovering about.
02:25Dude, same. I'm like, stop hovering. Go away.
02:29It's a question of personal space.
02:32Speaking true to the youth, big man.
02:35Stop agreeing with him, Vic. It's starting to worry me.
02:39Dad, I found that receipt.
02:42Receipt?
02:43The receipt for that scarf?
02:44The one you bought from Malika that got mixed up with Victoria's lingerie receipt.
02:48So easily done.
02:49You should give it to her now. They'll still have the scarf in the shop.
02:53The damage is done, Susan. Women do not forget.
02:57You accidentally give them one pair of your daughter's girlfriend's knickers for a birthday, Prezzy.
03:07And they never let it go.
03:10We should so take that receipt back to the shop and swap it for something decent for us.
03:14No, baby. If Dad's ever going to get back in the game, he's going to need a little shot.
03:21Well done.
03:22Well done.
03:23Mounted by Kate'sæ».
03:24!".
03:25Morning, Gerald.
03:26Morning, Clive.
03:27morning gerald morning clive
03:36everything all right yes quite all right thank you
03:42just waiting for you to go that's all you want me to go yes so that i can go you want me to go
03:53so you can go that's right i can't go unless you've gone but i've been i know you've been clive and now
04:00i want you to go you want me to go even though i've been obviously is it a sympathy thing what
04:07you can't go unless someone else goes too like the sound of running water makes people want to
04:12tinkle it's very simple you've been and i haven't and i can't go unless you've gone but i keep
04:18telling you i've been i know you've been clive now go i can't you can't make me clive i just want you
04:27to leave oh leave i thought you wanted me to go go leave we're quibbling over semantics clive
04:36well i'll see you at morning conference then after you've been exactly after you've gone
04:45is it occupied or is it jammed
05:00occupied a bit of a sore throat there gerald you take your time mate i've got the crossword
05:10gerald and bernard are late
05:21here's gerald now
05:24he's called a spontaneous fire practice
05:30see you down there gerald
05:35this is absurd absurd is this very important man am i how long wait must we the chief officer of
05:57health and safety will end the drill when we're all here mr mayor but all here are we
06:01well i hope he hurries up i've got stands standing about in the cold i think i'm getting a little
06:06tickle really mrs barhar allow me to offer a tissue a tissue to offer me allow
06:14every the gentleman hey mr mayor look after yourself must you mrs barhar four weeks only it's a ballroom
06:22night and we don't want you bothered being by a little tickle while you rumba
06:26what the girl can only hope
06:31national conflagration brought under hypothetical control
06:35no one theoretically incinerated
06:38good good carry on
06:41no bricky babes
06:43no thanks i'm meeting mum for brunch i'm gonna have another go at her about kyle you do know that the more you hate on her boyfriend the more she's gonna want him i can't stand by and let's go to the
06:56let her get played by this loser, Vic.
06:58I'm just saying, you are now trying simultaneously
07:00to hook up your dad and bust up your mum.
07:03I personally would get horribly confused.
07:06The lying swine!
07:08What?
07:09That bloke I sat, Gary, remember?
07:11He plumbed the care home hot water into the loos.
07:13Sorry, babes, I kind of zone out
07:15when you're on the pipey spanner and stuff.
07:18He's taking me to a tribunal.
07:20Um, is that a bad thing?
07:24I know my job, Mr. Wright.
07:26I supply the roles,
07:28but some damn vagabond keeps stealing them.
07:31You must be vigilant, Mrs. Johnson.
07:33Keep your eyes peeled.
07:34I'll be watching,
07:36and when I find the swine,
07:38I'll know where to stick my toilet brush.
07:40I can't afford a compensation order.
07:58This could bankrupt me.
08:00Sue, if you've got problems and you're feeling down,
08:03there's only one thing you can do.
08:04We can't have ice cream for breakfast.
08:08Don't let the Babylon make the rules, babe!
08:13We need funky, fudgy monkey.
08:15I'll give it five seconds in the microwave.
08:17We need it?
08:18You're not the only one with work issues, babe.
08:20You haven't got any work.
08:22Which, hello, would be the issue.
08:24Four more seconds.
08:30Microway's a joke.
08:31I'm a laughingstock.
08:32Don't be stupid.
08:33Who's laughing at you?
08:35Well, some mean girls I used to go to school with,
08:37for a start.
08:38Mean girls?
08:40Three more seconds.
08:43Yeah, they used to bully me for being into chicks,
08:45and now they've started again.
08:47Like, trolling me on the net,
08:48calling me DJ No-Geeks.
08:50Which is fair, but still hurtful.
08:54Two more seconds.
08:56Babes, that's awful.
08:58I didn't know.
08:59You've got enough to worry about
09:00with, well, whatever it is you do
09:02when you golf in your dungarees.
09:05One more second, and...
09:08Grab a couple of spoons.
09:12Oh, my God.
09:15Monkey meltdown.
09:18I can't even soften ice cream.
09:21Well, a milkshake's more breakfast-y anyway.
09:24We can dip in a banana and pretend it's a smoothie.
09:27One of our five a day.
09:31There can be no doubt about it
09:33that somewhere in this building
09:36there lurks the kind of anti-social lowlife
09:40who is prepared to leave his own comrades
09:44waddling about with their trousers round their ankles,
09:49trying to weigh up the relative absorbent qualities
09:54of heat magazine or a Twix wrapper.
10:00Is he in accounts?
10:02Parks?
10:04Libraries?
10:06Roads?
10:07Possibly even,
10:09we must concede
10:10here
10:12amongst our own.
10:15There's plenty in the ladies.
10:16Perhaps there's an innocent explanation.
10:19I hate to think ill of people.
10:21An innocent explanation, Clive?
10:23These roles are disappearing three or four at a time.
10:27What do you think we're dealing with here?
10:29A sumo wrestler with gastroenteritis?
10:32Well, Councillor Cochran is a blind gentleman, isn't he?
10:37Yes.
10:38And his guide dog is a golden retriever.
10:41Beautiful dog.
10:42Lovely coat.
10:43I hate dogs.
10:44Why are we discussing Councillor Cochran's golden retriever?
10:48Well, I was just wondering if when it was younger, it might have been the Andrax puppy.
10:55I mean, after all, the Andrax puppy had to grow up.
11:00That's right, Gerald.
11:01Hello, five minutes over.
11:03No more living the dream.
11:05Time to face reality.
11:07Retrain.
11:07Get a proper job.
11:08But the old skills never left him.
11:11It'd be like a craving, wouldn't it?
11:13Years of being rewarded every time you run off with a loo roll.
11:16I'd want that buzz again.
11:18Any dog would.
11:19Do you think you should perhaps speak to Councillor Cochran, Gerald?
11:23Yes, Clive.
11:25I'll just march up to Basil Ricky's only blind elected official
11:30and accuse his guide dog of being the Andrax puppy.
11:37It's probably harassment.
11:39I'd be sent on a course.
11:42Now, let us put these distressing thoughts aside
11:47and get on with the business of protecting the public.
11:51So, order a business.
11:52Clive, speak to me.
11:54Well, Gerald, we have a request from Mandela Primary
11:57to install a swing in their playground.
11:59A swing?
12:00In a playground?
12:01Tell them they're dreaming.
12:04Malika, we mustn't leap to judgement.
12:08Yes, a swing is a lethal weapon.
12:11An instrument, it seems to me,
12:14designed almost deliberately to deliver planks of wood
12:18at speed into the faces of small children.
12:22But let us not forget,
12:25swings can also be used for recreational purposes.
12:31So, I suggest we indicate that a swing licence may be forthcoming
12:37if the school can provide training,
12:40round-the-clock supervision,
12:43a rubberised surface,
12:46a soft-edged seat in case a child gets it in the face
12:51and reinforced chains for obese pupils.
12:57Point of order, Gerald.
12:59What if someone gets an obese pupil in the face?
13:01Good point.
13:02They will also have to be padded.
13:05Well, surely they're already padded, aren't they?
13:07Being obese.
13:08That's right.
13:09It's the skinny, pointy ones that do the damage.
13:11Clearly, this is a complex issue
13:15and to make any kind of informed decision,
13:19we're going to need data.
13:21Targeted observation of tension and altitude levels,
13:27acronymically,
13:29T-O-T-A-L,
13:33creating a tabulated ongoing swing study,
13:39P-A-T-O-S-S,
13:47pertaining operational testing.
13:52P-O-T.
13:58So, what you're looking at here,
14:00Team Health and Safety,
14:02is a total toss-pot.
14:09So, this is Cool Bananas.
14:14I didn't think you'd be joining us, Kyle.
14:16Not busy at the gym,
14:18feeling the burn and ironing your pump?
14:19If the K-man wants to take time out
14:21to chill with his hoe,
14:23then bring it on.
14:25Find his hoe?
14:27Might take the whole day off.
14:29Maybe give m'lady a slow massage.
14:32Such strong thumbs.
14:36It must be lovely to feel so unencumbered, Kyle.
14:38You should try it, babe.
14:40You're always so grim,
14:42worrying about your little business.
14:44Sell up.
14:44Walk away.
14:46You're young.
14:47You're sizzling hot.
14:49Get a life.
14:50Freshen up your Brazilian
14:51and go surfing in Bali.
14:53We could all meet up
14:55in Padang Bay.
14:57Padang Bay.
14:59Some of us have got
15:00financial responsibilities, Kyle.
15:02Money's about opportunities, babe.
15:04You need to get out of your own way.
15:12Right.
15:1318 toilet rolls.
15:14I'm going to put them
15:15in the bathroom cupboard
15:16so there's no excuse
15:17for not replacing any.
15:19Mentioning no names, Victoria.
15:21I didn't finish it.
15:22Oh, my God.
15:25I'll take one of these
15:27to keep with me at work, Susan.
15:29You won't believe this,
15:31but someone is nicking the paper
15:33out of the gents' loo.
15:34Oh, that is love.
15:36I may have to install
15:38a secure dispensing system.
15:41Not one of those great big roundy drums
15:43with the massive huge roll inside.
15:45I hate those.
15:46You can never find the end.
15:47I know.
15:48It's like you have to tease it out.
15:50Like, walk the roll.
15:52Can't find the end.
15:53Just walk the roll.
15:54Can't find the end.
15:55Just walk the roll.
15:56Can't find the end.
15:57Of course you can find the end.
16:00You just stick your hand in
16:01and feel about a bit.
16:04Stick your hand in.
16:06Feel about a bit.
16:06Stick your hand in.
16:08Feel about a bit.
16:08Girls!
16:12Municipal hygiene
16:13is not a subject for levity.
16:15Morning, good, Mr Wright.
16:45Well with you, trust I.
16:47Well very, Mr Mayor.
16:49Well very.
16:50I think I'm getting the better
16:51of this push-button tap at last.
16:54Enjoying the challenge.
16:56In fact, I'm finding it rather exciting.
16:59Yes, so seems it would, Mr Wright.
17:05Mr Wright, informed am I
17:07that someone is the Rolls Toilet stealing.
17:11Wonder do I how the miscreant
17:13out sneaking them unnoticed is.
17:18Mr Wright, have you in your trousers
17:21a Rolls Toilet got?
17:24Well yes, as a matter of fact, I have.
17:26Thief!
17:27Thief are you!
17:32To me, give it!
17:34To me, give it!
17:35Leave them in the toilet, James.
17:37Mr Wright, Mr Mayor,
17:39what are you doing?
17:40A Rolls Toilet stolen,
17:41has he, Johnson and Mrs?
17:43It's mine, Johnson and Mrs.
17:44I brought it in.
17:46Look, you can compare the brands
17:48if you want.
17:49I'll take your word for it.
17:51But I'll be keeping my eye on you,
17:53Mr Wright.
17:54Me and my toilet brush.
17:59So, combined weight,
18:01Bernard and Clive?
18:03175 kilograms.
18:04Which, according to
18:05Home Office guidelines,
18:07accurately reflects the projected weight
18:09of an average 11-year-old
18:11by 2020.
18:14Malika, give our
18:15average 11-year-old a push.
18:17The chain seems to be holding, Gerald.
18:24Excellent.
18:25What if the child's playing
18:26City Kissy on the swingy?
18:28You took a bucket of water over him!
18:31No, Malika,
18:32kids do play
18:34City Kissy on the swingy.
18:36So, I'm
18:3778 Ks
18:39plus hard hat
18:40and fluoros
18:41representing
18:42the weight
18:43of a slim
18:4410-year-old girl
18:46circa 2020.
18:48So,
18:49let's play
18:54City Kissy
18:55on the swingy.
18:57Are we doing
18:58the kissy bit?
19:01Because I'd really
19:02rather not.
19:04No,
19:05Clive,
19:06we are not
19:06doing the kissy bit.
19:07Gerald,
19:08you always say
19:09that crash testing
19:10should fully reflect
19:11the real-world case study
19:12it purports to represent.
19:13I don't agree.
19:16I don't want
19:17to do the kissy bit.
19:19All right,
19:20look,
19:20we'll do it
19:21with hands in front
19:22and mouths.
19:23Malika,
19:24give us a push.
19:24The structure
19:31seems to be
19:32holding,
19:32Gerald,
19:33despite the
19:34pendulous orgy.
19:36Right.
19:38Enter the results
19:39on the total
19:40tosspot.
19:42Let's move
19:43on to the dangers
19:44to satellite
19:45children
19:46from flying
19:47swings.
19:48Bernard
19:49don the
19:50full-face
19:50protective visor.
19:52What?
19:53Put the bucket on.
19:54Right,
19:54you are,
19:54dearly.
19:57Right.
20:00At
20:00five feet
20:03from the
20:04forward swing
20:05base,
20:06is he
20:08safe?
20:09Clive,
20:10swing
20:10the slew.
20:18Not
20:18safe.
20:20This would make
20:21quite a good
20:21drinking game.
20:22All right,
20:24let's try
20:25six feet.
20:27Climb.
20:29Swing it
20:30again.
20:31Give it a
20:31real push.
20:35Watch out
20:35for swing
20:36back!
20:39Nosebleed!
20:40Nosebleed!
20:41I need a
20:42tissue.
20:42Use me
20:43toilet roll.
20:44My God,
20:45Gerald,
20:46you're the
20:46thief.
20:47Awkward,
20:48Gerald.
20:48For
20:49heaven's
20:50sake,
20:50team
20:51health
20:51and
20:51safety.
20:52I brought
20:52it from
20:52home.
20:53Compare
20:53the
20:53brand.
20:54Just to
20:54establish
20:55your
20:55innocence,
20:55Gerald.
20:56Still
20:56bleeding,
20:57I need
20:57more than
20:57that.
20:59I blame
20:59myself,
21:00he should
21:00have been
21:01wearing a
21:01bucket.
21:03Quick,
21:03Gerald,
21:04steal another
21:05roll.
21:13Right,
21:14Mr
21:14thief.
21:15Oh,
21:16you
21:16thought I
21:16much
21:17had.
21:19To
21:20me,
21:20give it,
21:20to
21:21me,
21:21give it.
21:21Mr
21:22Wright,
21:22what are
21:23you doing?
21:24Mrs
21:24Johnson,
21:25I've got
21:25a man
21:25down and
21:26I need
21:27tissue.
21:27Well,
21:28that's
21:28your
21:28business,
21:29Mr
21:29Wright,
21:30but you
21:30can't
21:31keep
21:31using
21:31my
21:32toilet
21:32roll.
21:36This
21:36thief has
21:37created an
21:38atmosphere of
21:39paranoid
21:40suspicion,
21:42which is
21:42poisoning.
21:44our happy
21:45working
21:46environment.
21:47I have
21:47therefore
21:48actioned
21:49this day
21:49a purchase
21:51order for
21:52a new
21:53secure
21:54toilet roll
21:55dispenser.
21:56It's not
21:57one of those
21:57huge drums
21:58with the
21:58big round
21:59roll inside,
21:59is it?
22:00I hate
22:01those.
22:01You can
22:02never find
22:02the end.
22:04For
22:04heaven's
22:05sake,
22:05what is
22:06the matter
22:06with people?
22:07You just
22:07stick your
22:08hand up
22:08and feel
22:09about a bit.
22:10I'm not
22:11so sure,
22:11Gerald.
22:11They've
22:11got one
22:12of the
22:12frog and
22:12ferret,
22:13and even
22:13if you
22:13do find
22:13the end,
22:14you can't
22:14tease it
22:15round because
22:16the roll's
22:16too heavy.
22:17You end
22:17up tearing
22:17off a
22:18little
22:18thumb-sized
22:19bit,
22:19which just
22:19isn't adequate,
22:20is it?
22:20Unless you're
22:21Cali Minogue.
22:23One time,
22:23I reached
22:24in so far,
22:25I got my
22:25arms stuck
22:26against the
22:26serrated
22:27edge.
22:28I was trapped
22:29for an
22:29hour.
22:30I missed
22:31two games of
22:31barbillians and
22:32someone ate
22:32all my
22:32crisps.
22:33Team
22:34health and
22:34safety,
22:35please.
22:36I do
22:37hope that
22:38as council
22:38officers charged
22:39with the
22:40well-being of
22:41the community,
22:42we are capable
22:43of working a
22:44simple toilet roll
22:45dispenser.
22:46A word,
22:47please,
22:47Mr. Wright.
22:48Mr. Wright,
22:48please,
22:49a word.
22:50First,
22:50do I find you
22:51with a roll
22:52toilet hand in
22:53and your
22:53trousers down.
22:55Now do I
22:55discover a
22:56purchase request
22:57pertaining,
22:58apropos and
22:59vis-Ã -vis,
23:00big,
23:00roundy,
23:01secure roll
23:02dispenser,
23:02a gents
23:03toilet for
23:03the use
23:04of?
23:05Yes,
23:05Mr.
23:05Mayor,
23:06I'm having
23:06one installed
23:07to thwart
23:08this thief
23:09once and
23:09for all.
23:10The thief
23:10thwart it
23:11may,
23:12Mr.
23:12Wright,
23:12but thwart
23:13may it
23:14me also.
23:15How am I
23:16the roll's
23:16toilet to
23:17remove?
23:18How are
23:19you the
23:20roll's
23:21toilet to
23:21remove,
23:22Mayor,
23:22mister?
23:23Yes,
23:23as is my
23:24right as
23:24hard-working
23:25underpaid
23:26politician.
23:27Paper,
23:27Mr.
23:28Wright,
23:28entitled am I
23:29by statute
23:30to use
23:30unlimited of
23:31council paper?
23:32But that
23:33means stationary,
23:34Mr.
23:34Mayor,
23:35for use in
23:35admin and
23:36correspondence.
23:38You think
23:38not for use
23:39in home,
23:40lavatory,
23:40personal and
23:41flogging in
23:42pub local for
23:4220p a roll?
23:44No,
23:45Mr.
23:45Mayor,
23:45think I do
23:46not.
23:47Oh,
23:48well,
23:48in that case,
23:48has anyone got
23:49any receipts
23:49they don't want
23:50about am I
23:51to file my
23:52expenses?
23:53I've got one
23:54for a family
23:54bag of
23:55revels,
23:55Mr.
23:56Mayor.
23:56Excellent.
23:58Expenses
23:58paid for must
23:59be by the
24:00public for
24:00bags of
24:01revels
24:01essential.
24:02Oh,
24:04and,
24:04er,
24:05cha-cha-cha,
24:06Mrs.
24:07Morehall,
24:07Mrs.
24:08Morehall.
24:08Cha-cha-cha.
24:14How
24:15extraordinary,
24:16team.
24:17That
24:17politician
24:18was helping
24:19himself and
24:20he didn't
24:20even think
24:21he was
24:21stealing.
24:24Who'd have
24:25thought it?
24:25Any news
24:32on the
24:32Malika front
24:33then,
24:33Dad?
24:33News?
24:34What news
24:34would there
24:35be,
24:35Susan?
24:35I was
24:36wondering if
24:36she'd
24:36mentioned her
24:37birthday present
24:37again.
24:38No,
24:39I'm glad to
24:39say she
24:40hasn't.
24:40That
24:40excruciating
24:42incident is
24:43now closed.
24:44Your
24:45mother can
24:46make a fool
24:47of herself
24:47with feckless
24:48Antipodeans
24:49if she wants
24:50to.
24:50But I
24:51am officially
24:52off the
24:53market.
24:54Well,
24:55we'll see,
24:56eh?
24:56Father is free,
24:57Gerald,
24:58nice dry
24:58towel,
24:59plenty of
25:00paper,
25:00party in
25:01the loo!
25:03Thank you,
25:04Victoria,
25:04but I will
25:05not be going
25:05this morning.
25:06I am saving
25:07myself.
25:09Saving
25:09yourself?
25:10We are
25:11installing our
25:12new toilet
25:12roll dispenser
25:13today on
25:14which certain
25:15aspersions have
25:16been cast,
25:17not least by
25:18you girls.
25:19Stick your
25:20hand it.
25:20feeling about
25:21it.
25:21Stick your
25:21feeling about
25:23it.
25:23Girls!
25:25As chief
25:26executive
25:27officer,
25:28health and
25:28safety,
25:29it is my
25:29responsibility
25:30to see that
25:32it is fully
25:32tested in
25:33the field.
25:34In a field?
25:35That is
25:35gross,
25:36Gerald.
25:38It's an
25:38expression,
25:39Vic.
25:40He means
25:40in a
25:40toilet.
25:41Still
25:42gross.
25:43I have
25:44therefore
25:44breakfasted
25:45lightly
25:46and am
25:47holding
25:47myself in
25:48readiness.
25:49I shall
25:51give you
25:52a full
25:53report
25:53this
25:54evening.
25:56Or maybe
25:57don't.
25:58You young
25:59people never
26:00cease to
26:01astonish me.
26:02You spend
26:03hours on end
26:04gossiping on
26:05the net,
26:06but when it
26:07comes to a
26:07genuinely
26:08interesting
26:10subject,
26:11like municipal
26:12hygiene supply
26:13strategies,
26:15you're not
26:16interested.
26:20As you
26:21can see,
26:23cheerfully,
26:24jingly
26:24restrainers
26:25prevent deadly
26:27swing back
26:27and lethal
26:28swing forward
26:29so that both
26:30rider and
26:32pusher
26:32can recreate
26:35happily
26:35without risk.
26:37well,
26:49thank us
26:49when they
26:50survive their
26:51childhood with
26:51all their
26:52front teeth.
26:53Never mind
26:54those kids.
26:55You notice
26:55anything?
26:57Goodness,
26:58Malika,
26:58isn't that...
26:59My
26:59birthday
26:59present.
27:01Your
27:01daughter
27:01found the
27:01proper receipt
27:02and sent
27:02it to me.
27:04I love
27:04it.
27:05Well,
27:06happy
27:07birthday.
27:08Perhaps
27:08you ought
27:09to buy
27:09me a
27:09belated
27:09birthday
27:10drink.
27:11What are
27:11you doing
27:11after work?
27:13I will
27:14need to
27:15ensure that
27:16the new
27:16toilet roll
27:17dispenser is
27:18properly and
27:19safely installed,
27:20but then I
27:21could be all
27:21yours.
27:22Oh,
27:23promises,
27:24promises.
27:37not
27:38ready?
27:38Honey,
27:39not
27:41dancing.
27:42I
27:42don't
27:43want
27:43to
27:43try
27:44to
27:44come
27:45out and
27:46say I
27:46can't
27:48fire.
27:49Remember this
27:49is
27:50that
27:50you need to
27:51bring you
27:51to
27:52a
27:53summer.
27:54Are
27:55you
27:56new
27:57you
27:58have
27:58some
27:59unknown
27:59words
27:59I
28:00have
28:01wanted
28:01noch
28:02to
28:02you
28:03have
28:04been
28:04did
28:05I've been in a toilet.
28:16Mr Wright.
28:17Yes, Mrs Johnson.
28:19It's wanting steel in the loo roll, but you could have left me my lovely new dispenser.
28:24I can explain, Mrs Johnson.
28:27In the meantime, would you oblige me with a tug?
28:35Well, next tonight, if you're after top stand-up, we've just the pair.
28:42Rod Gilbert with John Bishop on BBC One, live at the Apollo.