- 03/07/2025
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00I'm not gonna dance for a healthy day
00:07I might shake my feet to the beat
00:12But I'll shake them my way
00:14Cause sometimes they make me run too fast
00:18Sometimes they make me sing too loud
00:22But I'm only singing out
00:25To get through the crowd
00:28I just want you all to know
00:33How brave I think you all are
00:36For coming here today
00:37You're all my little feeling soldiers
00:40This is a safe place
00:43This is your home
00:44So today what I want is
00:48I just want you all to talk about how you feel
00:51Okay, Jack, do you want to go first?
00:55No
00:55Hi
00:57I feel
00:59Sorry, this is so difficult
01:05I'm not gonna judge you in any way
01:08I just want you to take your time
01:09Sometimes when I wear this jumper
01:14I feel really, really itchy
01:22Itchy?
01:25Yeah, itchy
01:27Is that all?
01:29Yeah
01:30Itchy, okay
01:32Now Nick
01:34It all started when
01:37When I heard this song on the radio
01:43How did it make you feel?
01:45It made me feel funky
01:48Funky?
01:50Made me feel funky
01:52Well, that's not a very difficult feeling to express, is it?
01:56And you must have more difficult feelings than that to share
01:59Okay, now, Dave
02:01Um, how do you feel?
02:04So
02:04Come on, Dave
02:06Sometimes I feel thirsty
02:11At nights
02:15I feel tired
02:17Sometimes I feel drunk
02:21I'm not gonna waste any more time here
02:25Don't go
02:26I think I feel hot now, too
02:29It feels hot
02:31You need to wrap up
02:34It's bitter out there
02:35Right
02:36Well, at least I can wear my new scarf
02:38Oh, another scarf
02:40Yeah, I usually avoid anything green
02:42But, uh, I think this really works
02:44I, uh, I, I got it in the sale
02:48Uh, it's pure cashmere
02:50Okay
02:52It's pure cashmere
02:56Excellent
02:56You hate it
02:58I don't hate it
02:58Yes, you do
02:59I can tell by the tone of your voice
03:00No, I don't
03:01I don't hate it
03:02Then what's the matter?
03:04Maybe, uh, it's just
03:06It's just a little bit
03:08Rigid
03:12Rigid
03:14You can never just say I look nice, can you?
03:28Hi
03:29Uh, just thought I'd, um
03:31I'd bring these around
03:32Oh, thanks, Andy
03:33That's really good of you
03:35Three years of our love, eh
03:36Put it in a box
03:38Yeah
03:40The secret code for crazy man in the rabbit
03:49Sorry?
03:52The secret code for crazy man in the rabbit
03:54This is the secret code for gay bars
04:00No, it's, it's crazy
04:02Christmas
04:03Crane
04:04Cranium
04:05Cranium
04:05Cranium
04:05Cranium
04:06Cranium
04:06Cranium
04:06Cranium
04:07Cranium
04:07Cranium
04:08Cranium
04:09Cranium
04:10Cranium
04:10Cranium
04:10I enjoy the music of Grandmaster Flash
04:14I go crazy for his rap and his beats
04:16No!
04:17No
04:17Cranium
04:19Cranium
04:20Cranium
04:20Cranium
04:21Cranium
04:22What are you out to this weekend?
04:23Oh, my flatmate's got man trouble
04:26So I'm going to hang out with her and be a good friend
04:28You two will probably go out in the pool.
04:42What are you doing Saturday night?
04:44Saturday night, yeah, I am off to a gig.
04:47Ooh. Giggity gig.
04:51Who, who, with?
04:54Er, my sister and her new bloke, who I haven't met yet.
04:58And some mates from uni.
05:01Brilliant.
05:02And hopefully my boyfriend.
05:14The traveller's return?
05:16Oh, have you been anywhere nice?
05:18We wandered over to the park.
05:20Oh, lovely. And how was Josh? Did he behave himself?
05:22Oh, yeah. He loved it.
05:24He even had a little crawl on the grass.
05:26Played with the ducks and everything.
05:32Where is Josh?
05:43Do you remember that barman in that club in Barcelona?
05:45Oh, my God, yes!
05:47That was so funny.
05:48It was his name remote.
05:49Who, who, who was it?
05:50Oh, me and Emily went to Barcelona last year.
05:52You two were an item?
05:53Yeah, yeah, but, er, it was just a fling.
05:56So, the, the guy in the bar, remember?
05:58And every time he served drinks, he would swear in English.
06:01I hate you, Jean-Antoni.
06:03Fastado, fastado!
06:08I just thought of something that I did that was funny.
06:14You know, that time we were in Cornwalling with the bread,
06:16and I just, oh, God, you all were laughing.
06:20I don't remember.
06:21No?
06:22Oh, well, doesn't matter.
06:23Why don't you show us, Suzanne?
06:24Yeah, come on, Suzanne.
06:25Tell us.
06:26Come on, tell us.
06:30Okay.
06:31I will show you.
06:32Took a bit of bread.
06:34Hey, and then I said, oh, hey, get another one.
06:36Okay, I did.
06:37I put them right on my eyes.
06:38I said, hey, look at me, everybody.
06:39I've got bread on my eyes.
06:40Big bits of big old bread.
06:42Behold, half bread, half woman.
06:45Half of a sandwich and bit of everything else.
06:49Yeah.
06:50I said hello to you from Cornwall.
06:53Super duper bread.
06:58Woman.
07:01Guys?
07:04No?
07:05No, no.
07:09I said something else, but just, it was so funny then when I said it, but I can't quit.
07:15Do you remember when I had...
07:16Don't put it on mine.
07:20Julie, the milk's off.
07:21Help me.
07:22Hi.
07:23Help me.
07:24Hey.
07:25Hello.
07:26Oh, my God.
07:27Help.
07:28Excuse me.
07:29Excuse me.
07:30Um, you're drowning.
07:31I...
07:32Help!
07:33He's drowning.
07:34I can't swim.
07:35Quickly.
07:36Hold on.
07:37Oh.
07:38Oh, my God.
07:39Help.
07:40Excuse me.
07:41Hmm.
07:42Excuse me.
07:43Um, you're drowning.
07:44I...
07:45Help.
07:46He's drowning.
07:48I can't swim!
07:51Quickly!
07:52Hold on, or...
07:54Do that.
07:55Do...
07:56Do that.
07:57There.
07:58Ow.
08:00No, I'm joking. I'm joking.
08:04Right, how do we do this again?
08:07I can't believe you've never done tequila before.
08:10OK, you put the salt on your hand, then put the lemon in your left hand.
08:15And then you snort the salt.
08:19And then you put the salt on your hand, then put the lemon in your left hand.
08:24And then you snort the salt, squeeze the lemon in your eye, down the drink, throw the glass in the air, backflip in and out of the bar, then catch the empty glass and give us both £5.
08:46Oh!
08:50Oh!
08:54There you are.
09:04Whoo!
09:05It's got quite a kick, innit?
09:07Go and have one, have one.
09:12He said he didn't love me and that he only said it to keep me quiet.
09:16Oh, what a bastard. What a bloody bastard.
09:19I can't believe I could have been so stupid.
09:21Oh, come here. It's all right.
09:23Oh, there we go.
09:28What are you doing?
09:29Oh, you mean these?
09:30Aren't they brilliant?
09:31They look like real hands, but they're not.
09:33No.
09:34They're carvings.
09:36Paul bought them back for me from Kenya.
09:39See, I didn't want to make a big deal out of it because, you know, you were all up.
09:43Oh, sorry.
09:44Would you like to have a go?
09:46Probably make you feel better.
09:47Later?
09:48Maybe later.
09:49Look.
09:50Watch.
09:51See?
09:52Up my sleeve.
09:54I'm happy.
09:55I'm happy.
09:56I'm running.
09:57I'm creeping.
09:58I'm creeping towards you because you're so blue.
10:00Oh, I'm so blue.
10:02Shake my hand.
10:03Oh, it's gone.
10:04Where's it gone?
10:05There it is.
10:06It's brilliant.
10:07And we want to see a happy smiling face, don't we?
10:10Oh.
10:11Oh.
10:12Oh.
10:13Oh.
10:14That's nice, isn't it?
10:17Stamen.
10:18Photosynthesis.
10:20I am best friend with Jack Chirac and his big fan, stupid horse.
10:30No, he's got your horse.
10:33No.
10:34You've done it.
10:36Hi.
10:37I'm Laura.
10:38Hi, Laura.
10:39Michael.
10:40Hi, Michael.
10:41So, uh, who are you, Laura?
10:44Oh, this is my flatmate.
10:46I'm friends with beauty.
10:48Girls by the bar.
10:50Oh, and my boyfriend.
10:52Whoa.
10:53Whoa.
10:58So, um, we couldn't decide on blue or pink for the nursery,
11:01so we ended up with yellow, because apparently it's quite soothing.
11:04We must be so excited.
11:05Oh, we both are.
11:06And when's it due?
11:07April the 17th.
11:08Have you thought of a name?
11:09Uh, Crap Basket.
11:11Crap Basket.
11:17Crap Basket.
11:18Crap Basket.
11:19Crap Basket.
11:20Crap Basket if it's a boy or Joan if it's a girl.
11:22Yeah.
11:23We're really hoping for a boy.
11:24Dodgewood.
11:26Mm-hmm.
11:27That's pretty.
11:28That's a lovely name.
11:30Yeah.
11:32Help!
11:33Girls, I can hear you!
11:35I'm not deaf!
11:36I'm telling you!
11:37Oh, I'm drowning!
11:38I'm drowning!
11:39Shut up!
11:40Help!
11:41Help!
11:42Why don't you try, I don't know, swimming for us?
11:44That would be nice.
11:45It's a bit of...
11:46And I'm a little bit tired right now.
11:48So, you could just stop for a second thinking about yourself.
11:52You know, that would be great.
11:54I know this must be very upsetting for you, Josh, but...
11:58Mr. Fluffy was a very old pussycat.
12:02Very old indeed.
12:05In human years, he was even older than Grandad.
12:10Where's Josh?
12:23What are you doing?
12:24The seatbelt.
12:25What?
12:28What for?
12:29Yeah, the safety.
12:31What?
12:32The light's come on.
12:33You've got to put your seatbelt on.
12:34What?
12:36Well, when...
12:37When do this start off?
12:38What?
12:39Seatbelts?
12:40You can't want to stop it.
12:41Pointy.
12:45Looks pretty shit.
12:47Just standard safety procedure when you're on...
12:52board an aeroplane.
12:55What the fuck is an aeroplane?
13:00Have you seen an aeroplane before?
13:03No, I haven't.
13:05Yeah.
13:06Yeah, you have.
13:07It's what...
13:08It's what we are on.
13:09Now.
13:11It takes off.
13:12The sky...
13:14It goes to different countries.
13:16An aeroplane.
13:17An aeroplane.
13:18An aeroplane.
13:19An aeroplane.
13:21An aeroplane.
13:22An aeroplane.
13:26Do I look like an idiot?
13:29Whoa.
13:30Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
13:31Hang on.
13:32Hang on.
13:33What's happening?
13:34Sweet baby Jesus, what's happening now?
13:36Ah!
13:37Ah!
13:38Ah!
13:39Ah!
13:40Ah!
13:41Ah!
13:42Ah!
13:44Make it stop, you fat fuck!
13:46Ah!
13:48Well, that was excellent, Mr Meadows.
13:49Thank you very much.
13:50I think we're very pleased with what you had to say.
13:51Very good.
13:52Very good.
13:53Very good.
13:54James.
13:55Right, sorry, I seem to have missed a question often.
13:57Yes, um, what are you like in an emergency?
14:02An emergency?
14:03Right.
14:04Well, um, bloody awful.
14:09Right.
14:10Okay.
14:11I tend to muck around and act like a bit of a tit.
14:14Right.
14:15Then, when it dawned on me that it wasn't a drill, I'd definitely panic for real.
14:19You know, I'd become quite flappy.
14:21I'd probably cry.
14:25Um, okay.
14:26But what if there was a real emergency?
14:29Say that there was a fire in this building right now.
14:33Well, I'd push past you three to get to the door.
14:36Then I'd just start legging it for the lift.
14:39Then I'd take the lift.
14:40I definitely wouldn't use the stairs.
14:43How would you raise the alarm?
14:45I'd probably keep it to myself, to be honest.
14:48Um, I wouldn't tell my colleagues where I was,
14:50so there's every chance that they'd think I was still in the building
14:52and someone would attempt a rescue.
14:54I'd be pretty chuffed if I managed to get a day off out of it.
14:59Right, well, thank you very much for coming.
15:00Oh, if I left my iPod or my watch on my desk in the office,
15:03I'd certainly run back in and try and get it.
15:05That sort of thing.
15:09Right.
15:10Uh...
15:11Well, thank you very much.
15:13Um...
15:16And, uh...
15:17See you soon.
15:22Plutocrat. Crater. Terrorist.
15:24Spillets. Spasm.
15:25No!
15:26Midget.
15:27Fawcett.
15:28Liverwort.
15:29Hi.
15:30Hiya.
15:31Caravan.
15:33Twinkle.
15:34What are you doing in there?
15:37Are you grousing the bloody shower?
15:41Oh, lordy.
15:45More?
15:46Hit me.
15:51Hit me again.
15:52That's yours.
15:54Wow.
15:56What?
15:57Nothing.
15:58Fawcett.
15:59But you don't like it.
16:01I do like it.
16:03Fawcett.
16:07But...
16:09Um...
16:10It's just the bra has got maybe just a little bit too much animal hair on it.
16:23You can never just say I look nice, can you?
16:29I might actually just put the ring back.
16:33And...
16:34I'm just going to wait for someone else to come on me.
16:37It was nice meeting you.
16:40Good luck with the whole drowning thing.
16:44Recommend kicking.
16:45I'm just going to, uh...
16:47I'm just going to put the ring back.
16:53Keep it up.
16:58Michael, have you finished that evaluation?
17:00Yeah.
17:01Oh, right.
17:02Well, uh, can I have it?
17:03Um...
17:04Just that, um, I need to present it to the board on Monday.
17:06Of course you can.
17:08Nah.
17:10Um, now.
17:12Uh, it's just...
17:13It's not strictly in paper format.
17:18Right, so you haven't done it?
17:20No, I have done it.
17:21It's just...
17:22It's just in my head.
17:23Okay, well that's fine.
17:24Just, um...
17:25Just give me the final figure.
17:26Well, the final figure is...
17:30Four.
17:34Just four?
17:35No, not just four.
17:38No, it's, uh...
17:39It's four...
17:40Four.
17:41Four.
17:44Four.
17:46It's just that it's usually a bit more.
17:49How much, Mary?
17:50Well, I mean, it's usually, um, at least six figures.
17:53Okay, yeah.
17:54Uh, sorry.
17:55Uh, no, it's...
17:56It's, it's, uh...
17:57Four, four, four.
17:59Four, four.
18:01That's still not right.
18:02Four?
18:03Great!
18:04Sorry, thank you.
18:05Thanks, sorry.
18:06It's just there's some people in this office that will do any old crap just to get to the pub on a Friday.
18:10Those people are stupid, lazy arse heads.
18:15They are, aren't they?
18:16Lazy, bloody, stupid, bloody arse heads.
18:18I hate them.
18:23See you Monday.
18:24Yeah, thank you, Michael.
18:25That was brilliant.
18:26Cheers.
18:28Lovely boy.
18:29There is and never has been any other man for me, Robert.
18:34And I promise to love you and go on loving you until the day I die.
18:41Claire.
18:42Can't tell you how.
18:43Maybe you've made me.
18:46I now pronounce you husband and wife.
18:50You may kiss your bride.
18:52So, this is it?
18:53We're really married now, yeah?
18:54In the eyes of the Lord, yes.
18:56Brilliant.
18:59Oh, yes!
19:04I've been holding that in for four years.
19:12The thing is, Joe, I really want to go out with you.
19:16I just don't want to see you.
19:18You're breaking up with me?
19:19No.
19:20Oh, my God, no.
19:21I love you.
19:23Oh, phew.
19:25I just think we'd better for our relationship if we didn't see each other.
19:29Ever.
19:32Well, we wouldn't see each other.
19:34Never again.
19:35No.
19:38Well, because that kind of sounds like you're breaking up with me.
19:42No, no.
19:43It's the opposite of that.
19:44You know why?
19:45Because it's making us stronger.
19:46By living completely independent lives.
19:49Oh, okay.
19:50You have fun when I'm not there, don't you?
19:51We need them watching the telly, hanging out with the guys, doing your stuff.
19:57So we'd still be going out with each other?
19:59That's right.
20:01But we just wouldn't see each other?
20:04No, never again.
20:05No.
20:07What about birthdays?
20:08Can we send cards?
20:09Yeah, we could do that.
20:11But no.
20:14Are we allowed to sleep with other people?
20:19No, I don't think you should.
20:20Okay.
20:22I'm supposed to go meet the girls at seven, so I'm just gonna...
20:25Okay.
20:26Okay.
20:27Okay.
20:28Bye.
20:29Bye.
20:31I love you.
20:33Don't sleep with anyone else.
20:34Of course not.
20:55Bye.
20:56Bye.
20:57Bye.
21:26Bye.
21:27Bye.
21:28I love you.
21:30Bye.
21:32Bye.
21:33Bye.
21:36Bye.
21:38Bye.
21:40Bye.
21:46Bye.
21:50Bye.
21:54Bye.
21:55And so taking into account the sales figures and expenditure
22:25from the past year, I therefore recommend to the board a total investment of $444,444.
22:46How come in the two weeks we've been seeing each other, we've never even, you know, not well?
22:52Yeah, but it's because you don't fancy me, isn't it? I mean, you like me a lot, but you don't want to hurt me.
22:57I do! I do fancy you, honest.
23:00Really?
23:02Okay, come on then.
23:03Where are we going?
23:04We're going to the bedroom.
23:06All right. I'll just have a little drink first.
23:09Okay.
23:17Come on then.
23:18Come on.
23:18Come on.
23:18Come on.
23:18Come on.
23:22Okay, okay. Let's do it.
23:43You don't fancy me, do you?
23:44Not really, no.
23:45Hi, Kelly.
23:51Mark.
23:52Do you get those party invites, Prince Elkown Friday?
23:55Oh, yeah, after about two hours.
23:57Damn, that bloody photocopier.
23:58Ooh, that, yeah, I hate it.
24:03Yeah, well, they should really get a new one, but whatever.
24:06Yeah, I've got to hate it, don't you?
24:08I just went, fuck, I ain't that like that, you fucking poochie-tartum.
24:15Er, is that for dispatch?
24:18Hmm?
24:19Oh, no.
24:21No.
24:21Actually, it's for you.
24:25It's a present.
24:26Really?
24:27Oh, wow.
24:29Thanks a lot.
24:35Oh, my God.
24:37What is it?
24:39It's sand.
24:41This is your present to me.
24:44Er, some sand in a shoebox.
24:46Ha, ha, ha!
24:47Is it?
24:48I could give you some sand in a shoebox.
24:50You weird, you.
24:52No, let me give you a clue.
24:53It's that stupid, dumped-up Polaroid.
24:55The photocopier?
24:58Yeah, ground up.
25:01You ground up the photocopier?
25:03Worth it for the smile on your very, very pretty face.
25:08Erm, Mark, this is too much.
25:14The photocopier, it was playing up, but generally it was a very good machine,
25:19and now you've gone and you've ground it up.
25:22Yeah, no, yeah, nothing.
25:24Take it.
25:25Get rid of it and don't be so weird.
25:30Right, close.
25:31It's kind of ruined the surprise now, but, erm, you know that dodgy fax machine that keeps
25:37sending you all that junk mail that you hate?
25:39Why would I hate a fax machine?
25:41Don't mind, see ya.
25:42It really is rare that someone of such calibre has the energy and initiative to really make
25:53a difference.
25:54that's not fair.
25:55And, erm, thanks to Gerard, who I know has been working day and night to help to get this
26:10charity off the ground.
26:11Erm, I'd like to thank the board for their belief in me.
26:14Erm, I'd like to thank my former employer's Deutsche Banker for choosing to release me from
26:19my contract.
26:20And, erm, most of all, I'd like to thank my boyfriend David, who has been a great...
26:25Suck off.
26:26Hi there.
26:27Hi.
26:28Erm, I was wondering if you have anything that's good for dry skin?
26:29Er, dry skin, er... dry skin... er...
26:46Did you have anything for dry skin?
26:53Dry skin?
26:54Erm, gosh, you know, I think we've got a night cream.
26:59Have you used any of our products before?
27:01No, but I... Look, I can see what you're doing.
27:04What are you doing? With the stupid swear signs. I'm not blind.
27:07Sorry, I really don't know what you're talking about.
27:08Can you get me a manager, please? Mm-hm.
27:10Can you get me a manager? Yeah.
27:12Erm... Erm... Hello.
27:16Is there anything I can help you with? Yeah, I'd like to make a compla...
27:20For God's sake!
27:21Did you do this? Did you leave it there?
27:24I didn't even buy it!
27:29Hahaha!
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