- 03/07/2025
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00I'm not gonna dance for them today
00:07I might shake my feet to their feet
00:12But I'll shake them my way
00:14Cause sometimes they make me run too fast
00:18Sometimes they make me sing too loud
00:22But I'm only singing out
00:25To get to the crowd
00:28She likes it
00:31She likes it
00:31She likes it
00:31She likes it
00:33She likes it
00:34She likes it
00:35She likes it
00:36She likes it
00:37She likes it
00:38It's me
00:40Hi Carol
00:42Oh my god
00:43You look stunning
00:45Thank you
00:47So do you
00:48Oh well
00:49You've seen this before haven't you
00:51Yeah
00:52I think it was on your wedding day
00:53I know
00:54This is my wedding
00:55You've had your wedding
00:57Well not really Carol
00:59Yeah I know
01:00I'm really sorry that all didn't work out
01:01All alone at the altar
01:03Just like a prize turkey
01:06Everyone's staring at me
01:08Rawr rawr
01:09In my office
01:10Yeah
01:11That's right
01:12But it is my wedding day isn't it?
01:14I think it's gone really well
01:16Right
01:17Right on my wedding day
01:18It's sort of my chance to wear the dress
01:21Lovely dress it is too
01:22But it's my wedding day
01:24I know
01:25Listen
01:26Is everything okay?
01:29Susan you can't wear that because we're both in white aren't we?
01:35Oh my
01:36Oh my
01:37You think one of us should change?
01:39Yes
01:40Thank you
01:41That would be great
01:42Okay
01:43Go on
01:44I'm gonna stand in for you
01:45Sorry
01:46Go
01:47Hello
01:48Hi
01:49Thank you
01:50Thank you very much
01:51Hi
01:52Here it is
01:53Thank you
01:54Hi
01:55Hi
01:56Hi
01:57Hi
01:58Hi
01:59Hi
02:00Hey Vicky
02:01Simon in?
02:02Lisa's having a shower
02:05Oh how was Tori Molinos?
02:06Oh it was great
02:07Yeah
02:08It's good isn't it?
02:09I don't like it's got the reputation it has
02:10I've never noticed before
02:11You've got absolutely fantastic breasts
02:14What?
02:15What?
02:17Oh
02:18Erm
02:20Thank you
02:21I'd love to touch them
02:27Beg your pardon?
02:28Oh you know just one of them actually
02:30I bet they'd feel lovely
02:33I'd give you a hundred quid
02:35Simon's just upstairs
02:37Oh can I tell Simon?
02:40Put it there
02:44Right go on then if you're quick
02:48Just er
02:52Oh
02:53Oh that's nice
02:55Is it?
02:56Yeah
02:57That's lovely
02:58That's er
03:01Oh
03:02Oh yeah that's smashing
03:03That's yours
03:06Yeah I know
03:07Me and Kerry went to Tori
03:08A couple of years ago
03:09I couldn't believe how packed it was
03:11I'm sorry it's no use
03:12I'm going to have to talk to the other one now
03:13What?
03:15I'll give you another hundred
03:17That's er
03:19There's the goods
03:24Yeah
03:25Okay
03:27There
03:28There
03:30Oh yeah
03:31That's
03:32That's quality
03:33Lovely yeah what was the weather like?
03:43Erm
03:45It was great
03:46I'm smashing you
03:48Oh I better go
03:49But er
03:50Simon's
03:51See ya
03:52Coming down
03:59Oh who's that?
04:00Er
04:01Oh yeah no that was
04:02That was Neil
04:03He er
04:04He wanted to see but then he had to go
04:06Did he bring that two hundred panios me?
04:11So I'm like sure the Maserati performs well
04:14Especially in the wet
04:15But it doesn't have the sheer sex appeal of the Aston Martin
04:18I mean my Aston is more classic but it's just the business
04:21And I mean the business
04:22And he's like yeah but the Maserati AMC 12 goes from 0 to 100 in 3.8 seconds
04:26That's kilometres not miles by the way
04:29And I'm like yeah but the Aston is just a big blowjob on wheels
04:33And he's like well actually a Jag has better grip
04:37And I'm like
04:38I'm like a
04:39A Jag?
04:41And he's like er
04:42Sure
04:43Sure
04:44But
04:46I said have you seen the chassis?
04:52Carburettos
04:59Did anyone see that documentary though or not of Mandela?
05:01Oh brilliant
05:02I didn't see it
05:03I didn't see it
05:04What was it?
05:06Charlotte?
05:09Andy
05:10You're looking good
05:11So
05:12Oh you and
05:13Him
05:14Yeah
05:15For a few months now
05:20What?
05:21A few months?
05:22Yeah
05:23I thought that you
05:24Yeah I'm sorry Andy
05:25Oh
05:26Just I'm still fond of you
05:27No
05:28I'm still fond of you too
05:30I'm still fine
05:32We're fine
05:33We're fine
05:34We're fine
05:35Sorry
05:36We're fine
05:37We're fine
05:38We're fine
05:39I'm hearing the word marzipan and something about a space hopper
05:42Not marzipan
05:43Not marzipan
05:44Not marzipan
05:45Just say it really slowly
05:46I will complete the pyramids in five minutes
05:48I will complete the pyramids in five minutes
05:52Thank you Pharaoh
05:53Oh no
05:55Oh no
05:59Ta da
06:00Well
06:01Hmm
06:02Should have cost 600
06:03I got it for 250
06:05My coat cost double that
06:06Oh no no no no
06:07It wasn't my coat
06:08It's my bag
06:09Bag
06:10Bag
06:11Yeah
06:12You don't like it do you?
06:14What can I say
06:16It's
06:17A bag
06:18But
06:19If I had to make
06:22One
06:23Criticism
06:24You know
06:25If I had to
06:26Pick something out
06:27If I was forced to
06:28Maybe there's just a
06:30A few too many
06:32Bubbles
06:33Bubbles?
06:34Coming
06:35Out of it
06:36You can never just say I look nice can you?
06:41This train is about to pass
06:54Please mind the door
06:55This train is about to pass
06:56Please mind the door
06:57You can't leave
06:58No
06:59No
07:00You can't leave
07:01No
07:02No
07:03No
07:04No
07:05No
07:06No
07:07No
07:08No
07:09No
07:10No
07:11No
07:12No
07:13No
07:14No
07:15No
07:16No
07:17No
07:18She is gorgeous
07:19Thank you
07:20She's our first
07:21Do you have children of your own?
07:22Me?
07:23No
07:24I don't have
07:25Oh my god
07:26Oh, my God, why not? You should, too.
07:29A nice young woman like you, you should have kids.
07:32Oh, um, well, it's just not for me.
07:34Oh, no, you really should. They make all the difference, you know.
07:38They are wonderful.
07:40OK, maybe, yes, it's just, no, I'm not going to.
07:44Every single woman should be a mother.
07:46We believe it to be the big man's plan.
07:48We do, don't we?
07:49OK, well, it's not for me.
07:50I don't know why not, why not?
07:52Because there's something wrong with my cat.
07:54If you want to take a peek, it's right there.
08:00Good day to you.
08:00Yeah. Come on, darling.
08:06The Panasonic CR-56, that is just a real home cinema experience.
08:11I mean, that is just the business. I mean, the business.
08:14I mean, the de-inlacing on that is just flawless.
08:17I mean, I've got an RGB connection,
08:19which you have to if you want to get the most out of the Genesis chip.
08:21And the MPEG player is...
08:24But the subwoofers are on nets.
08:29Can we...
08:30It's the...
08:33Shhh.
08:35Bah.
08:36Shhh.
08:41Yes, I'm thinking of taking you into this...
08:43It's like a baby theatre group, it's like a baby theatre group, it's like a baby theatre group.
08:49It has been 23 days now, sweetheart.
08:51What's what, darling?
08:52Since I was last unfaithful.
08:54Oh, my God, well done.
08:56Thank you very much.
08:57What about you?
08:58Oh, um, yeah.
09:00I slipped up at the weekend, I'm afraid.
09:02Ugh, oops.
09:03That's a shame.
09:04You had almost done a month.
09:06Oh, no, really?
09:07Yeah.
09:08Never mind.
09:09Never mind.
09:10Mwah!
09:11Bye-bye, darling.
09:12Good luck.
09:13Have a good day.
09:14Bye-bye.
09:15Bye!
09:16Yes.
09:18Ow!
09:20Ah...
09:22Ah...
09:24Ah...
09:26Ah...
09:28Ah...
09:30What's that?
09:32Piece of me.
09:34Oh, oh God!
09:36Oh God!
09:38It's fine, sir.
09:40Okay, so I'm meeting Paul for a drink tonight, so I'll probably grab some food on the way.
09:51Okay, no problem.
09:53What's that for?
09:54Oh, I'm just writing a letter to a murderer.
09:58Great.
09:59What?
09:59Oh, it's this guy from Broadmoor.
10:01I read about him in the paper.
10:03Just dropped him a line.
10:04And he writes back?
10:06Yeah, about twice a week.
10:07He used to hide in the woods and kill ramblers.
10:10They called him the badger.
10:12But his real name's Graham.
10:13He's very sweet.
10:15Although the letters they do get a bit fruity.
10:24Here's this morning's if you want to take a look.
10:28He asked me to marry him.
10:30Like after three months.
10:32Which is weird, because we've been together for like seven years and you've never asked.
10:39So, I don't know.
10:41I think that this is a relationship that's going places.
10:44Do you want to say no?
10:46I don't know.
10:47I think what I'm going to do is I'm just going to keep writing and just say what pops into my head.
10:51Katie.
10:52Katie, let's get married.
10:58And?
10:59And we'll move to Norfolk.
11:03And?
11:04And I'll cut my hair.
11:06Just stop writing to the ferret.
11:07Badger.
11:07Badger.
11:08Whatever.
11:09Okay.
11:10Okay.
11:11Okay.
11:11Oh.
11:18And this is what he wants to do to you?
11:21Yeah.
11:21In your face?
11:26In my face.
11:27Pakistan.
11:30Pakistan.
11:31Kazakhstan.
11:32No.
11:33Turkmenistan.
11:34No, I don't think it's a country.
11:35It sounds like one of those countries from the ex-Soviet blocs.
11:38Really?
11:38I don't hear that.
11:38I don't hear that.
11:42Tajikistan.
11:43Tajikistan is not a land.
11:46Oh, God.
11:49It's my head.
11:50It's my head.
11:52Whoa.
11:53Oh, that was brilliant.
11:54I feel completely rejuvenated.
11:56I'm sure they had everything.
11:57There was a swimming pool, steam room.
11:59You had your facial then?
12:00Oh, yes.
12:02Yeah.
12:03What is it?
12:04What's the matter?
12:05Oh, they haven't left cream on or something on face of theirs.
12:07It looks really good.
12:09Your hair's great.
12:10Your skin's really glowing.
12:13It's just the hair on the upper lip.
12:17What?
12:17Well, you know, it's, it's a tiny bit, uh, visible there.
12:24Right.
12:25Are you saying I've got a moustache?
12:26Well.
12:31Can you ever just say I look nice, can you?
12:32Hi.
12:41Hello.
12:42I just wanted to ask about the space cream.
12:44Oh, it's one of our most popular products.
12:45Oh, actually, the thing is, I'm just not very happy with it.
12:50Oh, I've been buying it for ages now.
12:51I think it's making me look really old.
12:54Sorry, I don't quite.
12:55Okay.
12:56I've been buying it since 1995, and the advert says make skin instantly younger,
13:01and all that's happened is that I've just been getting more and more old looking.
13:05Right.
13:06So, you bought it in 1995.
13:09That's right.
13:10And since that time, you look older.
13:12Yeah.
13:12Probably about, yeah, 10 years older.
13:19This is how I looked before I started using the cream.
13:23In 1995?
13:25Yeah.
13:26Now, I don't know if you can see clearly, but I look quite young there.
13:30I think I'm quite pretty.
13:33Yes.
13:34Yes, but, you see, now I'm just, well, I'm not happy with my appearance at all.
13:38It's much older.
13:39Just, like, look at my face.
13:40Well, we would expect the cream to help you look younger.
13:44That's what I thought.
13:45Imagine what you're doing is you're comparing yourself now to how you looked 10 years ago.
13:50Yeah.
13:50And now I look older because of the cream.
13:53No, it's not because of the cream.
13:55Oh.
13:57Oh, okay.
13:58Why?
14:00It's because it's 10 years later.
14:02So I look older now because it's 10 years later?
14:06Yeah, it's got nothing to do with the cream.
14:08It's just 10 years later.
14:11It's got nothing to do with the cream.
14:14Oh, okay.
14:19I, I get it.
14:23It's nothing to do with the cream.
14:25It's nothing to do with the cream.
14:27Oh.
14:28Hello.
14:37Daddy is a twat.
14:39Daddy has no friends.
14:40Daddy is a twat.
14:42Daddy has no friends.
14:44Who taught her to sing that?
14:45Beautiful blue eyes.
14:54Little upturned nose.
14:55Great big juicy red lips.
14:58Oh, yeah.
15:01Pert little breasts.
15:03Tiny little waist.
15:06Big full backside.
15:07Lovely long smooth brown legs.
15:10Oh, yeah.
15:12I mean, it's going to be a lot of surgery,
15:14but I am going to look hot.
15:19Get closer.
15:20Whoa.
15:20Pack it in, Simon.
15:22I mean it.
15:22Your mama saved your life.
15:24I'm going in.
15:24What are you doing?
15:25I just want to start now.
15:26Come on, the tea's on.
15:27You don't have to worry.
15:28Pack it in, Simon.
15:29Fine, sorry.
15:29I won't.
15:30Come on.
15:30I got you.
15:31I got you.
15:32Oh, yeah.
15:32Oh.
15:32Oh.
15:36Oh.
15:37Oh.
15:40Bollocks.
15:42Oh, I can't stop doing that.
15:44We had actually done wine as a course.
15:49We just drank a lot.
15:51So eventually last year, we went to the Napa Valley in Northern California.
15:56And we spent three weeks going around the vineyard.
16:00I like wine.
16:01Please.
16:03We would sample the local wines from the vineyards.
16:06Now, interesting point.
16:08I don't know.
16:08I don't know.
16:09I don't know.
16:10I don't know.
16:10Oh
16:35Hi, okay, so
16:37Why do I look so much older than I do in the photograph?
16:47Sorry, I'm being stupid
16:52You bought the cream ten years ago
16:54I know it's ten years later
16:56So we met on ten years
16:58No
17:00You look older because magic, okay, right you text. How old are you?
17:0635
17:08And how old do you think you look?
17:10Oh God, well the cream it really has put on a few years so I'd say probably about mid-30s
17:14Yeah, I'm gonna go for 35
17:16So if you think about it
17:18You look ten years older
17:20Because
17:22Madam
17:24You are ten years older
17:26It's got nothing to do with the cream
17:28Thanks
17:30Obelisk
17:32Pasta
17:34Mascarpone
17:36Pasta
17:38Mascarpone
17:40Penguin
17:42Oh
17:44Oh
17:46Wait
17:50No
17:52No
17:54No
17:56No
17:57No
17:58No
17:59No
18:00No
18:02No
18:03No
18:04No
18:05Come on. Go, weep.
18:19So, what about you?
18:21Well, I've got to finish my thesis and then I've been asked to work for a think-tank, which should be great.
18:27That's great. Well done, mate. Thank you very much.
18:30Diamond! Come up, Rob.
18:35Spagsy! Oi, oi, seven oi.
18:38What you been up to, you wanker?
18:41Nothing much, you know. Usual.
18:43How do you fancy coming to Falaraki next week with me and some of the lads? Shag a bit of quality kipper.
18:48Fucking love it. Can't though, mate. It's a bit short notice, yeah?
18:52It's a shame. Liam had to pull out. Stupid prick got Nick with a bag of bumbles.
18:58Wanker. No, I'd love to, mate, but I've got to stay home and finish my thesis.
19:04What's that you're saying? Faeces? What's that? Is it like shit?
19:10No, no. Faeces.
19:13What the fucking hell is that?
19:16It's a fucking... extended essay.
19:22Mate.
19:23Why don't you tell me the title, Simon?
19:26Oh, yeah.
19:27Why don't you tell me the title, Simon?
19:31It's called Population Genetics and Demography of the Hominid in Sub-Saharan Africa.
19:38Mate.
19:41Shit!
19:44Spagsy!
19:46Spagsy!
19:47Hi.
19:59Hi.
20:02Sorry.
20:04It's me.
20:05And my cream.
20:06Okay.
20:07So, just...
20:09Should I or should I not be applying the cream?
20:11It's up to you.
20:12Ideally, I see. I just want to look younger.
20:14And if I'm ill...
20:15No!
20:24Check.
20:26No, it isn't.
20:28Yeah, it is.
20:30Oh, yeah. Yeah.
20:32Yep.
20:34You...
20:35You do know the rules, right?
20:36Yeah, I...
20:37Of course, I know the rules. I live the rules.
20:38I am the rules, so...
20:40Fine.
20:41Yep.
20:46It's your go.
20:47Yes, I know. It's my go.
20:49Just thinking.
20:51Okay.
20:54Mm.
20:55Yeah.
20:57Oh, yeah.
20:59Yeah.
21:00Ah, ah, ah.
21:08Checkmate.
21:12Jammy little shit.
21:14Do you want another one?
21:15Yeah.
21:16Let's do that.
21:17All right.
21:18Let's set him up.
21:19I must remember it was on about late 80s.
21:20I saw it now.
21:21I know.
21:22I can't remember.
21:23Hey!
21:24I don't know. I don't know. I haven't seen him around.
21:27Oh, look at this.
21:30Oh, Lord. There he is.
21:32A week old.
21:33Oh.
21:34A month.
21:36Yeah.
21:38Six weeks.
21:39Boring, Dad.
21:41Look, it's still me, all right? Go on. I'll have a pint.
21:44Luke?
21:45Er, yep, yeah.
21:47No, he won't. He'll finish that one
21:49and see if he's got any room in his little tummy-tummy-tum-tum.
21:53Wouldn't you? You're a good boy.
21:55Right. So, er, that's just one for you?
21:57Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on.
22:04A little blow for Daddy. Blow for Daddy.
22:06Oh, yeah.
22:09He's a good boy.
22:11He's a good boy.
22:14Er...
22:15So, erm...
22:16So, have you got anyone to, erm, to buy that Corsa?
22:19Cos I know someone who might be...
22:21Oh!
22:23Quick, come.
22:25Crisp, come.
22:27Quick, come.
22:30Bye-bye, boy.
22:33Bye-bye, bye-bye, Queen.
22:35Bye-bye, boy.
22:37Could, erm... Could you... Could you stop being a dad just for one evening?
22:41What?
22:43What do you mean?
22:44It's just that...
22:45Oh, look at the sad little faces.
22:48How are we going to make them happy little faces, eh?
22:51Huh?
22:52Do you want a little poo-poo?
22:53Yes, let me have a little poo-poo.
22:54Let me have a smell.
22:56Oh, you've got a little poo-poo in there for Daddy.
22:58Oh, you've got a little poo-poo in there for Daddy.
22:58Oh, my God.
22:59You've got a little poo-poo.
23:00Hey, good boy.
23:02Hey, good boy.
23:03Hey, good boy.
23:04Hey, good boy.
23:05Let me have a smell.
23:05Let Daddy smell.
23:06And this is the sitting room.
23:10Oh, my God. You never told me you were musical.
23:13Yeah, I, er... I play it there.
23:16Oh, my God.
23:25Oh, my God. You're amazing.
23:28Well done. That's really... That's my...
23:31Oh, OK.
23:36Fantastic. That's... How long have you been there?
23:42Oh.
23:48Hello?
23:50I'm still here.
23:54Nothing.
23:54Ladies and gentlemen, there's no need for alarm,
24:07but if there is anyone on board who holds a current pilot's license,
24:11or indeed has any experience of flying an aeroplane of any sort,
24:15could they please make themselves known to a member of the cabin crew?
24:20Alex, you're a pilot. You've been flying 747s for years.
24:26Why don't you go give them a hand?
24:27Joanne, I'm on holiday.
24:30I'm on holiday.
24:51Unbelievable.
24:53Unbelievable.
24:53I cannot believe it.
24:55We only just met, you know?
24:56There was the crackle in the air and...
24:59Bada-bing, you know?
25:00We were straight at it.
25:02I have never pulled such a fit bird.
25:06Ah.
25:08OK, I hate to burst your bubble, buddy,
25:10but I'm a working girl.
25:11I hear what you're saying, you know.
25:13We all got to put corn on the table, yeah?
25:14Yeah.
25:16I'm a...
25:17I'm a prostitute.
25:21Oh.
25:22That'll be 20 quid.
25:25Oh, yeah.
25:26Well...
25:26Well...
25:30If we're being honest with one another,
25:34I'm actually a...
25:36minicab driver.
25:39driver.
25:40And to get you back to town from here
25:44is...
25:45Well...
25:46Probably 25 quid.
25:48So...
25:50Why don't you just give me...
25:52Give me a fiver.
25:53Roger, Rog.
25:54Roger, Rog.
25:56Roger, Rog.
25:57Hi.
25:58Have you got this in a...
26:04lighter shade?
26:06I don't know.
26:07I have to ask my boss, Debs.
26:09I mean, Debs?
26:10Yeah.
26:11Do we have this in a lighter shade?
26:12I don't know.
26:13I have to ask my boss, Debs.
26:19Debs?
26:19Yeah.
26:20Do we have this in a lighter shade?
26:24I don't know.
26:26I have to ask my boss, Debs.
26:29I don't know.
26:30Debs.
26:31Yeah?
26:32Do we have this in a lighter shade?
26:35Um...
26:36I'm going to have a chair for you.
26:39Right.
26:40I'd like to speak to your manager, please, now.
26:42Right.
26:43Well, she's not really...
26:44Just get me your manager.
26:45Ooh.
26:46I'm going to ring her.
26:47I'll have a ringer.
26:48Just...
26:49Hello, Ange.
26:50There's a...
26:51There's a...
26:52Oh, my...
26:53Oh, my...
26:54Oh, my...
26:55Oh, my...
26:56Oh, my...
26:57Oh, my...
26:58Oh, my...
26:59There's a lady here that would like to speak to you, please.
27:02Okay.
27:03She's...
27:04She's coming now.
27:05Hey, hey, hey, hey.
27:11Can I help you at all?
27:13Oh, my...
27:14Oh, my...
27:16Oh, my...
27:17Oh, my...
27:18Oh, my...
27:19Oh, my...
27:20Oh, my...
27:21Oh, my...
27:22Oh, my...
27:23Oh, my...
27:24Oh, my...
27:25Oh, my...
27:26Oh, my...
27:27Oh, my...
27:28Oh, my...
Recommended
27:58
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