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Beasley Digital
  • 4/17/2025
Dave & Chuck the Freak asked listeners about the weirdest night they ever had and one story involves a strange encounter between two cousins.

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00What would you describe as your weirdest night ever?
00:13Kenny, you're on with Dave and Chuck the Freak.
00:15Describe your weirdest night ever.
00:17Accidental penis, guys.
00:19Accidental penis to you.
00:21Yeah, so I went to this party, man.
00:24It was my first band.
00:25It was like a coming out party.
00:27Well, my cousin Gary is sitting on a picnic table.
00:30On the table end, playing guitar for these three girls.
00:33And I come up and I have my penis out right next to his face, bro.
00:36And when he's playing guitar, he makes this really stupid face.
00:40And he's got his mouth wide open, just hanging there.
00:43And the girls start laughing and pointing really hard.
00:45Because it's just right there at his cheek.
00:47And as he turns his head to see what's going on, it just kind of popped right in his mouth, man.
00:52Oh, my God.
00:55Yeah.
00:56It just went right in there, bro.
00:58So, it was terrible.
01:00I fell off the table just laughing.
01:03Oh, boy.
01:04You'd be the last.
01:05Was that the last time your band ever played?
01:07You don't ever hear that behind the music.
01:18The old dick in the mouth breakup.
01:22Cousin Gary.
01:26They knew the band would break up.
01:29He was playing for three ladies.
01:31Like, I got this.
01:35It was at that moment that he put his dick in Cousin Gary's mouth.
01:39The band...
01:40The band would never recover.
01:43No.
01:44Cousin Gary killed him.
01:48I mean, I've got a guitar.
01:49It becomes a weapon when there's all of a sudden a donger there.
01:52How close was he, too?
01:56That is...
01:57That's got to be one of the few cases in the world of accidental penis in mouth.
02:01I don't know.
02:02I want to know what the ladies that were watching did.
02:04Like, they just got up and left?
02:06They just turned away?
02:07I'm pretty sure.
02:09They're like, ooh.
02:10Whoa.
02:10They didn't expect to see that.
02:12They went all through the race.
02:14Like, some guys.
02:15Whoa.
02:15Cousin Gary sat as a guy's dog in his mouth there playing guitar for us women.
02:23Slipped it in.
02:24We better get out of here, ladies.
02:26I don't know.
02:27That's a weird scene.
02:30It's time to go.
02:33Yeah, because he was probably doing just fine.
02:35You know what I mean?
02:35He's got the guitar out.
02:37He's got three chicks.
02:38Cousin Gary had three chicks.
02:39He was serenading three chicks.
02:41He was about to have a three-way or four-way.
02:43I don't know about you ladies, but I'm digging this.
02:45It's Cousin Gary.
02:47This is a guitar.
02:48What's this?
02:49A dong.
02:50Yeah, that might be the ultimate in Cack Black.
02:55Oh, that's the ultimate.
02:56Oh, I literally blocked him with this.
02:58You know what I mean?
02:59His eyes were closed while he was singing.
03:01Yeah, yeah.
03:01Whatever.
03:01That's true.
03:02That's true.
03:03That's true.
03:04Oh, man.
03:09Because you wouldn't know what it was at first.
03:11No, you wouldn't.
03:12What's in my mouth?
03:15Sorry, Cudge.
03:23I'm going to need that back.
03:24What is this?
03:26What is it in my mouth right now?
03:28Oh, my God.
03:31The night the music died.
03:33It's your penis.
03:35Bye-bye, Miss American.
03:37Put the penis in the mouth, and everybody said, bye.
03:42Cousin Gary died.
03:45Cousin Gary.
03:48The party's over.
03:49The band's over.
03:50Everything's done.
03:51Everything's done.
03:52God, I so want to hear Cousin Gary's take on that night.
03:55Oh, Cousin Gary.
03:56He's never going to be seen again.
03:58Yeah, Cousin Gary hit the railroads.
03:59Because everyone knows, right?
04:03Everyone now knows Cousin Gary had a penis in his mouth.
04:06That was that one time I did that.
04:09He's never played guitar again.
04:11That was when I put my guitar down, and I looked never again at music.
04:15I knew music wasn't for me.
04:17They could have been this big band.
04:19Oh, yeah.
04:20What would have happened if that wouldn't have went in his mouth?
04:23Featuring Cousin Gary on guitar!
04:25Cousin Gary and the Tricksters!
04:29They say Cousin Gary would have been the next Eddie Van Halen.
04:35Oh, my gosh, you can see Cousin Gary and the Tricksters!
04:39The music stopped that day for Cousin Gary.
04:44Never, ever picked up the guitar again.
04:47Some say you can still hear Cousin Gary playing his guitar in the woods.
04:53Ladies, listen up to my sweet solo.
04:58Get it, Cousin Gary!
05:06Got him!
05:08Got him good.
05:10I do like the women.
05:11Wow!
05:12Time to go!
05:14Oh, you do.
05:15Think of another place to go here.
05:17If the guy who's serenading you all of a sudden has a penis in his mouth,
05:21that night is done.
05:22I can still taste it.
05:24Okay.
05:25All right, we're going to take a break.
05:26Okay.