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Saving Chuck's Privates
Beasley Digital
Follow
4/17/2025
Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a guy who accidentally shot himself in the genitals and think about the horrors that would unfold after such a terrible experience.
Category
😹
Fun
Transcript
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00:00
a man did accidentally shoot himself in the dong in Marion Indiana according to the city's police
00:10
department deputy chief Stephen Dorsey says officers came in contact with a 46 year old
00:14
man in the emergency room shortly before 7 a.m. yesterday the man told officers he was on a walkway
00:20
when his high point nine millimeter handgun on his waistband without a holster began to slip
00:26
when he reached down to adjust it it discharged nine millimeter huh it entered his penis and exited
00:35
his scrotum I just picture like a like a dog or just like is it bad oh it is man is it bad is it
00:50
I don't think I'm gonna make it tell me about all the bits that we were gonna see
00:56
that's okay man I'm I got you let me hold you let me hold you let me hold you what's left of you
01:03
is it don't look at it no no no no no yeah yeah yeah here you go here you go
01:11
you're like where's the balls where where are my bodies where are the balls okay oh no no don't
01:18
worry about your friends I want to see no no no no don't look okay no no don't look your friends
01:23
are everything's so cold your friends didn't make it oh and you know what happens when I'm cold
01:27
you're shaking away the life is just leaving them
01:33
a war scene
01:36
hmm
01:38
I have some more morphine
01:40
private Ryan music
01:41
oh man
01:44
dude can you imagine
01:46
if you it went in my dong and out my ball sack
01:49
it's over
01:50
it's over
01:51
game over
01:52
yeah brutal brutal brutal
01:54
unless you're dealing with it
01:56
that's music
01:56
darn this
02:00
your balls died
02:05
send a letter to my mom
02:10
every once in a while I'll look back
02:13
think to myself
02:16
did my boner
02:19
deserve it
02:20
tell me I have a good boner
02:22
I got a great big great boner
02:27
tell me I earned it
02:28
you earned it
02:29
look at look around you
02:31
get all the children you created
02:34
tell me I'm good in bed
02:35
well
02:36
you're
02:37
well you're
02:38
you're alright
02:40
oh man
02:47
yep the Tom Hanks classic
02:49
yep
02:50
you got a great
02:58
boner
02:58
a two chance
03:00
gets the job done
03:01
you're a great man
03:03
can they do anything
03:05
about a penis with a bullet hole in it
03:07
I think it heals up
03:09
just like anything
03:10
I think it heals up
03:12
as long as it didn't hit anything
03:13
as long as it didn't take it right off
03:14
that's the thing
03:15
if it just blew it
03:16
blew it off
03:17
I think you have a really good chance of dying
03:20
bleeding out from that
03:21
oh I think you do
03:21
I think you have a really good chance of dying
03:23
you need like a dong tourniquet
03:25
a ball tourniquet
03:26
yeah I don't know how you stop the bleeding there really
03:27
pressure
03:28
someone had
03:30
someone had someone
03:30
I'd have to put my hand on it
03:31
you'd have to hold my ball sack
03:32
real time
03:34
yeah you would have to apply pressure right
03:36
I would
03:37
yeah
03:37
you've got the little piece
03:38
I can't
03:44
just squeeze them
03:44
tiny little thing
03:45
all the way to the hospital
03:46
you'd have to hold
03:47
hold me tight
03:48
oh man
03:48
not a buddy would do that for you
03:51
you'd do that
03:51
a wiener cried like Giovanni Ribisi
03:53
it'd be tough
03:55
that'd be one of those tough injuries to react to
03:58
you know
03:59
like I don't want to react to anyone's injury
04:01
like a broken leg or a broken arm
04:04
but man
04:04
that
04:05
I couldn't be there for you
04:06
oh
04:07
if I came in here and Chuck had blown his dong off
04:10
I don't know how
04:11
and I'm like help
04:12
I don't know how I would react
04:13
help
04:13
Chuck there's nothing we can
04:14
I just
04:15
that's why you can't get that red
04:16
redemption
04:17
exactly
04:18
the gun you want
04:19
gun
04:19
don't get it Chuck
04:20
you blow yourself to bits
04:21
oh no I need to
04:22
I need to
04:23
I need to get bullets
04:24
yeah
04:25
I wouldn't even
04:26
don't do it
04:26
my bullets would be in another state
04:28
can't we just get
04:29
we'll get you
04:29
ah
04:30
Chuck
04:33
you know Chuck
04:34
that's what would happen
04:35
Chuck
04:36
that's Chuck
04:37
Chuck
04:38
Chuck is he'd blow his dong off
04:39
yep
04:39
exactly
04:40
I wouldn't put bullets in it
04:41
the one thing he has left to live for
04:43
would be gone
04:44
that's barely even a reason to live
04:46
I can't imagine though
04:50
like a six shooter bullet
04:51
that's it
04:53
I mean it's
04:55
one and done
04:56
that's it
04:56
my only chance is to be shot with a 22
05:00
yeah there'd be no saving Chuck's privates
05:04
saving Chuck's privates
05:05
I'll tell you this
05:06
Dave dies before me
05:07
why
05:09
cause you got more area to bleed
05:11
I don't know man
05:12
you talk about those big balls
05:13
I can probably just pinch that thing off
05:14
well
05:15
you always talk about your big balls
05:16
it's a bigger area for
05:17
blood to flow
05:18
nah that's true
05:20
you do always talk about that
05:21
Dave's blood flow is in the dong
05:22
yours is in your balls
05:23
I bet his dong though
05:24
that's where the blood is
05:25
you know what I mean
05:26
that's what fills up
05:28
your balls don't
05:29
fill up
05:30
I wish they did
05:31
but they got nothing to do with anything
05:33
I also feel like
05:37
the sack
05:38
you could just tie it off easy
05:39
yeah
05:40
and stop the bleeding there
05:42
I almost feel like my sack
05:43
could bounce a bullet back
05:44
like a trampoline
05:45
you guys have amazing sacks then
05:48
my sack's impressive
05:50
just watch yourself guys
05:53
be careful with your guns
05:54
you don't want to blow your package off
05:56
I don't
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