How We All Die

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a Florida man who had his throat cut by a lounge chair in a freak accident and think about the strange ways everyone on the show might die.

Transcript

00:00we'll start in florida where the leg of a lounge chair almost ended the life of old charles lee

00:13chairs are nothing to mess with it's a very crazy story how it all happened for this poor guy

00:23wfts tv has his story let's listen in here if we can

00:27so i grabbed this chase lounger i was gonna move it over here charles lee describes how a leg on a

00:35lounge chair almost killed him he was moving a lounger when a gust of wind knocked him off his

00:41feet into his pool the leg of the chair piercing his throat and oh my god

00:48oh jesus not expecting that oh god piercing his throat piercing his throat i thought he was like

00:59you know got him in the belly or something like

01:02knocked him out in the pool and he almost drowned to death that's what i was waiting

01:08you know it pierced his throat it pierced his throat guys super crazy here it is and it's scary

01:16i will never ever carry this uh or or lay on it again uh it's it's served its uh purpose and i'll

01:23probably buy plastic next time julie salomon abc action news something buy something a little more

01:28weight yeah man plastic chairs gonna kill him put them where you want them and leave them be what

01:33you gotta rearrange it he's gonna die to a plastic chair i can guarantee it you think so yes

01:40this one was supposed to kill him this one was supposed to kill him i love how he says that

01:45you know angels were looking out for him i see the same thing it's like but you got hit by a chair

01:50yeah it's like they were half-assed looking because they let one cut your neck wide open and they're

01:55like oh god oh my god we weren't paying attention oh boy yeah i think he's got a bunch of screw up

02:01angels yeah you got real half-assed angel and it saved him at the end of the day but it sure did

02:09let him get his throat i think the angels were just as shocked by the situation as he was oh yeah

02:13they're like we turn our back for two minutes to fly around do angel stuff and you get your throat

02:18exactly that's probably it and then they're like he's just moving a chair we can take a break it's

02:22just god messing with them that gust of wind slicing his throat open god is so funny he's mysterious

02:29what a way to go out though can you imagine being i'm in my pool and i've got a lounge chair through

02:36my throat and then i'm thinking well this is it this could be how you die yeah that could be how

02:41you die from a kettlebell exactly true i did almost you're gonna listen i hate to say it but when you

02:47go it's gonna be weird no stop it no it's gonna be weird forbid no it's gonna be weird no when you go

02:54one of us has to go weird and you know it no we're not all gonna get lucky well it's chuck luck

02:59chuck luck will be yeah i know how i'm going i already know how i'm gonna die beach umbrella or

03:06something no uh but i mean it's possible i won't go to it'll be the top one time i go to the beach

03:11right that's chuck luck yeah you hated the beach always the one time you go you're impaled by a

03:16i just know you're it's i'll just say this when you die it's gonna be your fault i hope not i do

03:24i think so it's just natural i think so damn you know andy they're gonna be like well he didn't

03:32take care of himself got up to something the rings on his trees they tell some stories james i bet

03:39explodes he just blows up somehow something you know it'll be the grand i'll take it thought about

03:46it'll be the grand yeah the grand finale of something kaboom yeah you think it'll explode

03:55finally become a viral perfect yeah finally i made my dreams come true most viewed clip of all time

04:05took my entire my entire life my entire existence and actually my this is my life yeah to make it

04:11happen lisa will die naturally at like 112 right lisa is gonna live forever yeah 112 i hope not got

04:19112 that sounds painful i know you're living forever you'll be the most flexible old lady

04:25yoga she's gonna be the old lady yoga people yeah totally yeah i still do it

04:32right behind her head yeah i heard a couple old tricks

04:37pretzel

04:39that's lisa

04:42she's definitely gonna see all of our ends

04:46oh yeah absolutely one by one she will lay us she'll have like a uh some kind of photo on

04:52our wall it'll be all all of us there's another one bites of dust

04:56i'm dropping like flies

04:59her james blew up today

05:00shuck died 25 years ago

05:04heart exploded

05:06oh my god

05:06oh no

05:08oh

05:09well that's

05:10found andy in a mountain of drugs

05:13he was literally crushed by them

05:16yeah

05:17it's not how you thought it would be

05:20no he didn't even do them all

05:21crushed by a mountain of them

05:24a mountain of drugs crushed him

05:26yeah

05:26dave fell into that sausage making machine

05:29that'd be weird

05:36that's not

05:37that's not how i want to go

05:38jason died kayaking

05:40yeah

05:41that's probably right

05:42al

05:43al will probably still be alive

05:44yeah

05:45he'll be my friend

05:46he'll be my friend

05:47al died in a tragic shuffleboard accident

05:52when he was

05:53in his 30s

05:5448

05:54shuffleboard

05:59jumped up and bit him right in the head

06:02that was it

06:03he was gone

06:04it's a more dangerous sport than you think

06:06yeah

06:06goodness

06:07i hope none of those come true

06:08no

06:09they're probably all more accurate than any of the fortunes that magician told looking at people's feet

06:12yeah

06:13probably

06:13it's not what a thing

06:14but

06:14it is

06:15lisa you're gonna be one of those super old ladies

06:17oh yeah

06:18we'll see

06:18they'll ask you what your secret

06:19and you'll be like

06:20jen i'm laughing

06:21exactly

06:22she's even going to be on the news with that

06:24yeah

06:24one of these

06:27someone said james will die

06:31when a battery powered dildo in his ass explodes

06:33that's embarrassing

06:35could be a worse way to go out

06:36i just imagine him crushed by a giant donger statue

06:39oh that could happen too

06:41that could happen

06:42i'll be like that penis

06:43in korea or whatever

06:44trying to climb the giant donger

06:46and topples over and just crushes me

06:48get smashed by two huge balls

06:50oh my lord

06:51that's more likely

06:52i just know it's gonna be

06:55it'll be something epic

06:56you'll have the most epic of all of ours

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