Dave & Chuck The Freak Peep Show: The Downside Of Air Travel

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck The Freak discuss the latest disturbance on a flight and the guys and listeners talk about things that can make flying miserable.

Transcript

00:00every day there seems to be a new story about something going wrong in the skies

00:13oh sure yeah the latest one happened on a flight from tokyo to los angeles uh these guys just got

00:20on the the flight i guess and they got into a fist fight before the plane even took off

00:26sick of airplane stories now where you know what it is it's just honestly we you can't expect

00:33everyone on the plane to be sane as much as you fly dave i'm surprised you've not had any drama

00:39but i'm shocked i avoid it honestly my my headphones so you don't even know the second i sit down but

00:44no dramas happened on your flights like with other people or anything a woman have a seizure

00:49the one that amber slept through okay oh yeah the biggest one i think yeah see i've had an old man

00:55poop himself oh god i've sat next to a guy with an open wound that he had to clean out god um

01:05i i sat next to a woman in hysterics about flying you know what now that you mentioned it so it was

01:12not the last fight but the flight before amber was with the two boys and i was by myself there

01:16was some woman beside me but she was we that was the flight where the winds were so strong coming

01:20into detroit we could we couldn't land we had to abort the landing attempt twice and um i was like

01:26what does she do she kept like brushing up against me she was doing like her hail marys oh yeah so i

01:32took one of my headphones out because i'm still watching my movies i don't care we're we're gonna

01:35land eventually we land or we die yeah whatever i'm have my headphones in i don't even know what's

01:40going on and then i took one out for a second she's like praise jesus praise jesus praise jesus

01:43like she's just going non-stop praying oh yeah i just put my headphone back in and continued

01:48watching passengers yeah i wouldn't do that i'd be like mid mid crash i'd be like boop can somebody

01:55shut this bitch out

01:56mid crash

02:00she's hitting me with her elbow

02:03that's how you get ringworm is this airline going to be responsible for my ringworm treatment

02:10well i don't want to have ringworm when we crash i'm in the back of the plane i'm gonna live

02:21yeah and i'm gonna live with ringworm because of hail mary over here

02:26voice changing technology anonymous has a comment good morning man how are you i punch you right in

02:35face i was actually the person who committed the atrocity and i wanted to uh uh uh come clean

02:40today okay you're outing yourself what'd you do so we were flying back from vacation and about half

02:46an hour away from uh landing my stomach really started percolating i was so bloated i just felt

02:53miserable so in a panic i thought maybe if i just squeaked out a little fart oh no i'd feel better

02:59no no no yeah no and especially because i think i held it in for so long it smelled like this from

03:06the depths of hell yeah that's the other article i was reading reading all sorts of stuff about flying

03:11but that um it is you do have more gas like the air pressure does cause oh you can tell the pressure

03:18yeah you can feel that's why people need to fart on that's why my guts start to sound like a like a

03:24failing submarine uh-huh certain points i'm like get away that's why i always say to lisa i'm like

03:33listen i i don't think bad of me if when i fall asleep the most disgusting fart ever comes out of

03:42this butt you'll know it's me that's really your biggest concern on a flight with us is that you're

03:49gonna fart in front of us in my sleep yeah you know because i think you sleep fart i don't think

03:53there's anything you can do about it i think we had a study that said you you actually have to be

03:57awake in order to fart right but i you know but you just have to sort of wake up you know what you

04:02may be right i can't believe i'm gonna admit this but um lisa gave me a tip on an air purifier

04:07because i've been having allergies right so it's like it does have an auto mode that just kind of

04:11keeps on low unless there's like some smell or something and then it kicks into high gear so i

04:16thought i woke up the other night i'm like i just fart did your air purifier kick on yeah then it went

04:22red like it went into high gear i'm like oh i must have farted that's the heart zone right there

04:28that's like fart detected

04:30lisa's got a magical air purifier now dave has it yeah yeah it works great i had to get it for the

04:39molly farts yeah that's so funny because that to me i i forgot for a second your dog's name was

04:46molly and i'm like lisa does molly yeah i'm like and there's a symptom of molly use that's molly farts

04:53she's got the molly farts i was like no i'm glad that we clarified that because maybe other people

05:02thought that too no molly is my dog i just for a split second forgot that and i was like molly to

05:08me is always a drug than a dog yeah exactly yeah oh man molly's got me gassy

05:17oh feel it oh oops sorry guys i can't in good conscious reenact lisa on drugs party

05:26you gotta do one or the other you gotta do someone else maybe it's someone else

05:30someone give me some water oh boy it's not me

05:36it really gases me up somebody else i'm molly

05:39hey how you doing what's up i'm lisa

05:41someone gave me a pill

05:46now i'm farting

05:48molly farts

05:50oh god

05:52oh yes

05:56do you hear that bass drop it's right from my butthole

06:00i felt it

06:02god this is loosening up some stuff this molly i'm on

06:10this is the confusion that swept across andy's face for like a heartbeat

06:13yeah yeah

06:15she goes there for molly farts i was like

06:18molly farts

06:21molly farts that's a thing

06:23whoa i need to be aware of that for when i allegedly do molly

06:29bombshell one lisa does molly bombshell two it makes her fart

06:32oh wow lisa does molly yeah uh b from toledo hey b how's she going eh how's she going eh b

06:42uh so i was uh flying into detroit

06:46out of houston and there were already a bunch of characters on that plane

06:49and we started taxiing to the runway

06:52and this woman starts having a

06:54a real panic attack like she's

06:56grabbing her friend

06:57crying the whole nine yards and at first i thought it was funny

07:00i was having a good time

07:01but then like as we start getting closer to flying

07:03getting uh you know taken off

07:05i'm starting to get nervous like well maybe maybe she's right

07:07you know maybe we should be kind of freaking out a little

07:09it was kind of rough for about the first

07:1130 minutes of that whole flight

07:13again seems to me like

07:14noise cancelling headphones were the best investment i ever made

07:17they really are

07:18they're good but they don't stop everything though

07:20oh they don't honestly

07:21they stop a lot

07:22so much stuff has gone on around me that other people have told me

07:26i have no i get so engrossed in what i'm watching

07:28yeah i can't hear any of the drama

07:30it is funny to think about like there's like some hardcore terrorist stuff going on

07:34on a plane around dave and he's like this now you see me too is a really good movie

07:37didn't see that coming

07:39holy hell

07:41magic

07:42harrelson i love his work

07:44he is good

07:46riveting

07:47morgan freeman was a great choice for this role

07:52yeah i told you i'm oblivious to like when we landed

07:55and i was so caught up in the movie that i didn't realize we were even going in for a landing

07:59yeah

08:00and we hit with a thud and i went

08:01jesus christ

08:02yeah

08:03because i thought then something had happened like the plane was under attack or something

08:06that's good for me when i sit next to you on a plane because i fumble around so much

08:09i'm always like oh god i feel so bad

08:11no i never know idea never notice anything i just am always all cramped up in a seat that doesn't fit me

08:16and i got like a belt extender on

08:19and i'm like you know i'm just like

08:21that's your plane face

08:24yeah that was his plane face and body

08:26plane face and body

08:28like two hours like

08:29i'm sorry

08:31i'm like oh i feel organ failure

08:32i feel some organ failure

08:35here something's pressed into my liver or something i don't know what that is

08:39you've pinched your liver in half

08:41it's not working

08:42it's so bad

08:43oh man

08:45oh man

08:45yeah

08:47You

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